InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Impossible Dreams ❯ Chapter Four ( Chapter 4 )

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Author's Notes: Wow, the response to this story has been incredible, thank you everyone, it means the world to me! I will make the same announcement on this story as I did on my other one…this is the last update until JULY 6. Why, you ask? Because I will be in Eugene, Oregon, participating in two things: the first is called the Pacific International Children's Choral Festival (a.k.a. PICC Fest) where my choir will be host to several other international choirs, including one from Israel. We will rehearse together for three days, and then perform in a huge mass concert/gala. Also, starting on Saturday, and overlapping the PICC Fest, I was accepted into the prestigious Oregon Bach Festival Youth Choral Academy (a.k.a. YCA), which takes eighty auditioned high school singers from around the country, brings them together for ten days of intense rehearsing, and then culminates in a performance on July 5. I was in it last year as well, and know that it is an incredible experience, but one that occupies my whole life for the time I'm there. So…there you have it, no updates until at the very earliest July 6.

Now that I've depressed everyone, I hope you enjoy this chapter. It continues developing the characters, and doesn't contain much action, but I believe is an important piece to the story. In alternate universe plots I have to take more time to develop the characters and storyline since it isn't straight out of the anime/manga, which everyone is familiar with already. Still, I think it's a good chapter.

To answer a popular question among all of you, there will be NO KIKYOU in this story…I know, how sad, but she just didn't fit into the plot. And frankly, I do get a little tired of the whole love triangle thing after a while, so this time, there won't be one! Thank you for reviewing, and now I'll shut up and let you read. Enjoy!

FrameofMind: Thanks for the names. Go seniors! Thanks for the review.

Crystal Music: The outburst probably was a little out of character for Kagome, but at the same time, I think she is entitled to a few selfish moments now and then. After all, she is now dealing with the possible threat of a revolt that could cost her life…think about the conflict that she must be feeling…she wants the slaves to be free…but at the cost of her life? At the same time, she'll have a different opinion in this chapter, as you'll see, so I guess I'm just wanting her to be more like a normal teenage girl, with conflicting feelings, and not necessarily just the perfect girl she seems to be on Inuyasha when it comes to being selfless in regards to others. I hope that answers your question, and thanks for the review!

Lima Squamosa: Thanks for the names, and your right, that sentence didn't quite work the way it was supposed to…oh well. And as for the meaning of Inuyasha's name, sorry if I got it wrong, I'm not a Japanese person at all! Thanks for the review!

InuFaceness: As much as that would be a great twist for this story, no, Inuyasha did not start the revolt at Hojo's home. At this point, Inuyasha and Miroku have been at the Higurashi plantation for about a month, so it's been too long since their little incident for it to coincide with Hojo's. But that's a great idea! I wish I'd thought of that sooner. Thanks for the review!

Lioness Kea: Kouga and Sango are just friends, so she goes to him for advice as a friend would, and nothing more. Thanks for the review!

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Title: Impossible Dreams

Author: dolphingirl0113

Chapter: Four

Rating: PG-13 (rated for language, violence, and implied sexual situations)

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.

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Though his hanyou senses were dulled thanks to that damn jewel around his neck, Inuyasha still had ears and a nose that were sharper then anyone else staying at the Higurashi home, except, perhaps, for Kouga, the wolf demon. And today, as he approached the hut where he and Miroku slept, he heard hushed voices and smelled anxiety on the air. Cocking an eyebrow curiously, he decided to investigate silently, and placed an ear up to the far wall, beneath the lone window of the small structure.

He caught Sango's voice immediately, and was surprised at how tense she sounded. He could almost picture her sitting rigidly on one of the beds as she spoke.

"Don't even think about it."

"What?" Inuyasha growled at the sound of that wolf's voice, but bit back the insult he wanted to yell, more curious to hear what they were talking about.

"About copying their example and starting a revolt here."

"Oh come on, Sango, you yourself said it wouldn't be that hard. And once we're free, we can deal with Naraku."

The hanyou felt his head spin as he listened, those enticing words, freedom and revolt, floating above his head and out of the mouths of the people inside. He hadn't had to do anything, and they were already planning something? Clearly, something had happened to spark this flame, and he intended to find out what and use it to his advantage.

Shaking his head, he focused in once more on what they were saying, though he had missed a few sentences while lost in thought.

"I want to be free of all this as much as you, Kouga, but if we're stupid and approach this without thinking, it could all go wrong."

"How?" Inuyasha grunted, for once agreeing with the wolf. Sango was making this far too complicated. They would just revolt, and run away. "Mr. Higuarshi deserves to die for his treachery; I make no show of pretending to think otherwise."

"But aren't you forgetting about someone else?"

"Who?"

"Kagome."

There was a ping in his chest at the sound of her name, and Inuyasha could almost remember the feeling of her fingers on his chest that day when she had slightly purified the diamond around his neck. He shivered slightly, but pushed it aside, not wanting to get pulled into personal feelings at the moment.

Wait.

Personal feelings?

He had no personal feelings for Kagome Higurashi, other then annoyance and maybe hate. She was just a bother; a spoiled little brat who didn't understand suffering like he did, and who was loyal to Naraku.

That's not true, a voice in his head reminded him; it was her father who pledged his loyalty to Naraku when she was still a young girl who couldn't think for herself. She had no choice in any of it.

Growling, the hanyou started to pace, trying to get the thoughts out of his head. He didn't want to be thinking that Kagome was any less then the enemy, because then he got confused. Actually, he didn't want to be thinking about Kagome at all, because that led to other problems he was unfamiliar with.

But fate was not to be kind to him that day, because just as he was finally calming himself down, he caught wind of the smell of vanilla, and turned to see her walking toward him, her head down in an uncharacteristically somber mood. She wore a dress of green, her hands clasped in front of her, and Inuyasha could just barely detect the smell of tears.

She had been crying?

It was like she didn't even care where she was going, because she ran right into him, nearly falling backward except that he, for some strange reason, caught her before she could. She looked up and met his eyes, and he was shocked by the pain within her doe-like orbs.

"Inuyasha? Oh, I'm sorry," she mumbled, and at first he didn't register that she had called him by his first name, but once he did, he tensed slightly, feeling uncomfortable at the way his body reacted to her.

"Hey wench, when did I ever give you my name?"

"What?" She still had that blank look on her face, like there were much more important things spinning around in her head at that moment then him. That thought only made him more frustrated.

"You heard me. Not only have I never given you my first name, but even if I had, I would not have given you permission to use it!"

Normally Kagome would have fought back against his annoying temper, but today, she just didn't have the energy. So instead, she sighed and shrugged her shoulders, turning to walk away. "I asked Sango for your name, and I didn't think you'd care that much if I used it, so just get over it."

Her simple reply sent him crashing back to earth, his temper fading into something else, something more disturbing. Was he actually worried about her?

"Hey, look, you don't have to be acting like the sky is falling or something," he called out to her retreating form, headed in the direction of the stables. Then he smirked, wanting to get a reaction out of her. "I mean, it's not like the slaves are revolting or anything."

She froze, and for an instant Inuyasha glowed in pride at having gotten what he wanted, but then he regretted his words the instant she turned around, tears in her eyes, along with something he understood far more: fear. He could smell it wafting off her body like a putrid acid, overtaking even that beautiful smell of vanilla that always surrounded her body, that scent he could detect even with his dulled nose.

"Whatever you know," she hissed at him, "Don't mock me with it. Kill me, if you like, when the time comes, since you obviously want to now anyway, but do not mock me."

Inuyasha was shocked at the venom in Kagome's voice, which was usually so cheerful and, as much as he hated to admit it, beautiful. Right now, she sounded almost dangerous, and he knew she meant what she said. But more then that, he couldn't understand why she had been so touchy about the idea of a revolt, unless…

It hit him like a ton of bricks, the light bulb turning on in his head as he pieced it all together. The conversation he'd heard between Kouga and Sango, the arrival of those strange people he had seen earlier that day, and now Kagome, acting jumpy and afraid. Of course, why hadn't he seen it before? There had been a revolt on another family, most likely the one that had shown up at the Higurashi mansion.

"I wasn't mocking you, woman," he yelled after her, and she stopped again, turning around to lock her gaze with him.

"The name's Kagome," she reminded, and he remembered how she had painfully held his hair that day to make her point.

"Keh, whatever," he replied, though he sounded slightly unsure of himself. This brought forth another wave of angry tears.

"Look, I don't know what your problem is with me, but I've had it! I've done everything possible to make you feel welcome, and let you know I want to help you, but you just push me away. So guess what? I'm done! I've had it with you!" She took a deep breath and looked about her wildly, as if searching for an answer to some question he could only guess was running through her mind. "I've had it with all of this!" She suddenly fell to her knees, not even seeming to care that her green dress was getting horribly dirty.

Inuyasha watched as her body shook with silent sobs, and without thinking he approached her, falling to his usual crisscross position beside her…in the mud. But what did he care? Unlike her, he sat in the dirt every day.

"Look wench, you don't have to cry about it," he muttered, trying, in his own way, to get her to stop crying. He had never been affected so much by a woman's tears before, except, of course, for his mother. She had cried for him many times, when she thought he wasn't around. Every time someone had been cruel to him, and he would come to her wounded in the heart, she would comfort him and then, later, thinking he was asleep, would cry her own tears for his sake. It had killed him then, and now, seeing Kagome, for some reason that same desperate feeling was resurfacing, even though he had thought it long extinguished by hate.

Kagome seemed far away as she continued to look at the ground, her gaze seeming to stare right through the mud and the dirt to some unseen world beyond as she whispered, her words so silent even Inuyasha had to lean forward to hear what she said. "Why didn't Kagura just kill me too, that day? Why couldn't I just die with my mother, and be with her now in the otherworld, rather then suffering so much without her?"

That was certainly not what he had been expecting, at least not from a spoiled, selfish brat, and Inuyasha felt his body jolt slightly as he stared at her, the woman who was usually so happy and calm. He didn't like seeing her weaker side, and again, he wondered what it was about Kagome Higurashi that tapped at his soul so much. Or, more specifically, what was it about her that brought up feelings that he hadn't felt since his mother died seven years ago?

"You want to die?" he couldn't believe what he was hearing, and she nodded, still staring at the ground.

"It would be better then living life so alone."

"Alone?" How could she be alone, he wondered, when she lived in that giant mansion with her father, no doubt entertaining parties and guests at all hours of the day?

But then Inuyasha stopped himself, realizing for the first time that, unlike the other homes where he had lived, this one was always extremely quiet. Not once in the four weeks since he'd arrived had he seen a guest, save for today, and now, for the first time, he began to question the assumptions he had made.

Kagome just smiled at what he said, though it was a sad smile. "Does it surprise you that much, Inuyasha, that someone other then you could be lonely?"

He didn't really know what to say, so he remained silent, and thus they continued to sit in the mud for the next several minutes, though the silence surrounding them wasn't uncomfortable. In fact, though he hated to admit it, Inuyasha found it kind of pleasant, the first pleasant feeling of companionship he had known in a long time, at least, aside form Miroku. Kagome didn't insist on filling the air with unnecessary words, like a lot of the women he'd known in his life, and he liked that, never having been one for conversation, even before Naraku came and ruined his life.

"Higurashi?"

They both jumped at the sound of a male voice, and Inuyasha couldn't stop himself from growling slightly at the intruder, his protective instincts kicking in. Kagome was still vulnerable, and his demon side, even dulled, wanted to protect that vulnerability.

A young man with short brown hair and sparkling blue eyes appeared around the corner and, seeing Kagome on the ground, stopped with a smile. He didn't even seem to pause and wonder why she was sitting in the mud, next to one of the servants, telling Inuyasha the man wasn't too bright.

"Hojo, what are you doing here?" Her voice was suddenly calm and pleasant, and Inuyasha nearly did a double-take at the change. Only moments before, she had sounded dark and lonely, and now she had plastered a fake smile on her face and was rising to her feet, brushing the cached dirt off her skirts, though some of it still remained.

For the first time, Inuyasha felt like he was beginning to understand Kagome Higurashi, and he realized, in that moment, that there were some things about her that were special. She hid her feelings from the rest of the world to protect them from her pain, and, despite the sadness she had known in her life, she was still able to purify the jewel around her neck, meaning she hadn't turned bitter and cruel, like he had. Everything about her was generosity and consideration for others, and it made Inuyasha feel, for the first time in a long time, sorry for the way he had treated her before. Maybe she hadn't deserved his hate, like he had been so convinced she did.

"Our parents are in discussing something they don't want me to hear, I guess, and I was just wondering where you had gone," the boy, who Kagome had called Hojo, replied innocently.

"Keh," Inuyasha grunted without realizing it, and Kagome turned to him with a warning stare. Clearly she expected him to start throwing insults, and was warning him against it.

She turned back toward Hojo with a smile. "Well, you found me. Was there something you wanted?"

"I'd like to talk to you," he replied with a shuffle of his feet, and Inuyasha rolled his eyes. Surely Kagome wasn't interested in someone so ridiculously shy and spineless?

Wait.

Why did he even care?

"Oh, is that all?" Kagome laughed, though it was a little more tense then what Inuyasha was used to hearing from her. "Well, would you like to go for a ride? I was headed for the stables myself."

"That would be wonderful!"

Inuyasha groaned slightly at the corny scene he was witnessing, and Kagome seemed to think that meant he was upset at having been ignored, because she took it upon herself to introduce the two men.

"I'm sorry Inuyasha; this is Hojo, an old friend who I've known since I was a little girl." She looked at the other man. "Hojo, this is Inuyasha."

"Nice to meet you," he called out cheerfully, extending his hand in greeting, though the hanyou just stared at it as though it belonged to an alien. Hojo shook his head and chuckled nervously, glancing at Kagome. "Is he another friend of yours, Kagome?"

"Inuyasha?" Kagome giggled. "Not really, he's just one of the workers. We talk occasionally, but I don't know him that well."

Inuyasha noted, with appreciation, that Kagome didn't call him a slave, but rather, a worker. In fact, he'd never heard her call any of them slaves. However, he did feel a slight pang that she didn't say he was her friend. But then, what had he expected? This was the first time they'd actually talked without having an argument.

Hojo had gone rigid, his whole persona exuding fear. "Higurashi, you mean, he's a slave?"

Kagome stared at him for several seconds, as though to say `isn't that what I just said?' before sighing. "Yes, if you want to put it that way, he is. Why?"

Hojo instantly pulled her away from Inuyasha, and the hanyou growled in spite of himself at the way Kagome winced slightly, though it was more out of surprise then pain. "You shouldn't be with him," he whispered in her ear, but Kagome forcefully pulled her arm out of his grip.

"I will talk to whoever I like," she declared, moving slightly away from him, the usual spark returning to her eyes, and Inuyasha couldn't help but smirk slightly at that, for some strange reason. "Just because you're afraid of him, Hojo, doesn't mean I am."

"Who said I was afraid? I just want you to be safe, Kagome."

"And why wouldn't I be safe?"

"Because he's dangerous."

"Says who?" Inuyasha could practically see the fires of her temper growing hotter by the minute, and had to resist breaking out into a complete smile of victory. That poor boy had no idea what he was getting himself into.

"Says me! I've seen what slaves can to do people, Kagome! I watched them burn my home, and chase us away! You don't know what it's like!"

"Stop it!" Kagome screamed, all pleasantries gone, and both men jumped slightly. "I'm sick and tired of everyone telling me I don't understand! My father tells me I'm sympathetic because I don't understand everything! You say I don't understand what it's like to have slaves overtake my home! I'm sick of it! I'm not stupid!" There were tears in her eyes again, and Inuyasha sighed, upset that Hobo was the reason why, and felt a growl begin again in his throat, his demon instincts kicking into overdrive…or at least, as much as they could with the shard still around his neck.

"Just calm down, woman, he's not worth it," he finally said, trying to sound calm and unaffected, but he knew his voice had a desperate edge. He just couldn't stand it when she started to cry.

Kagome looked at him with surprise, but nodded, and somehow managed to gain control once more. "You're right, it's not worth it." She wiped the tears from her eyes, and the only sign of her frustration was her red cheeks.

"You really trust him, Higurashi?" Hojo seemed to be unable to believe it, but Kagome glanced at Inuyasha and nodded.

"I trust him to do what he believes is right." She shrugged and smiled, and this time it was genuine. "Now, for all I know he may think that means killing me, but then, if that's what will happen, it will."

Both men gaped at her for several seconds, Inuyasha a little longer then Hojo. She had just said that she wouldn't hate him if he killed her? That she would understand? Is that what she just said?

Still smiling, Kagome took Hojo by the arm and led him away with a wave at Inuyasha. "We're going to go ride now, Inuyasha, but I'll see you later. And thanks for putting up with me."

Turning around, she then directed all her attention to a stunned Hojo, who seemed to be asking her all kinds of questions, though the hanyou could no longer hear what they were talking about. His ears were, after all, not as good as they were when free of black magic. He just stood and gaped after her retreating figure, her hips swaying slightly in an innocently seductive manner, her scent once more pure and happy, the enticing smell of vanilla wafting past his nose.

"Kagome…" he whispered, confused more then anything. And what was worse, he didn't like the suddenly protective feelings brewing in the pit of his stomach, like his instincts were telling him to be near her at all times. It was strange that she had practically given him permission to kill her, and yet, suddenly, Inuyasha no longer had any interest in doing so.

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Even though she was walking arm in arm with Hojo, Kagome was seeing someone else in her mind as she strolled through the small garden in the back of her home, a man with intense amber eyes. She could still feel his hard stare boring into her back as she walked away, and shivered slightly at the sensation in her body at that moment.

"You're not cold, are you Higurashi?"

She turned her head so that she was looking at Hojo, and smiled sweetly before shaking her head. "No, I'm fine."

He nodded and smiled, staring ahead again. "So how are you? It's been so long since we last saw each other."

"I'm fine," Kagome continued to smile, though it wasn't quite as genuine as usual. Clearly he had forgotten their little argument five minutes ago, but she had not. "A little preoccupied lately, but otherwise alright."

"Preoccupied with what?"

"Oh, I don't know, I guess just with the whole issue of slavery."

"You're afraid of a revolt?"

"A little, but more then that, it's the fact that I knew something like this would happen eventually. You don't just take people who used to live normal, happy lives, enslave them, and then expect them to be obedient." She shrugged. "I know I wouldn't be that way."

He smiled. "I'm sure you wouldn't be."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Hojo rubbed the back of his neck in slight embarrassment. "Oh, just that, well, you've always been a strong person, even after your mother died."

Kagome felt her face pale slightly at the memory. She could still see her mother, with her short black hair and kind eyes, falling down dead in front of her, amidst the sounds of cruel laughter courtesy of that witch, Kagura.

They remained silent for a time, just enjoying each other's company, for Kagome really did like Hojo, though not as much as he liked her, she knew that. Everyone thought she was blind to how he felt about her, but she wasn't. She knew he loved her, and had for some time, but chose to ignore it, not wanting to give the boy false hopes.

"So," he finally muttered, "Do you still want to go for that ride?"

"What?" Kagome shook her head to clear it of all thought, and only then realized how late it had become, the sky starting to turn pink with dusk. "Oh, no, I don't think so, not today at least. But I would like to go for a ride with you some time, and show you the land. It can be so beautiful, especially in the woods."

He smiled. "I'd like that very much, Higurashi."

"You don't have to keep calling me that, Hojo," she said kindly, "You could just call me Kagome. I mean, we've been friends for so long you're like a brother to me."

She didn't miss the way he blanched slightly at her calling him a brother, but chose to ignore it. He needed to understand there was nothing for him in a relationship with her.

"I can't help it," he finally replied as they turned around and headed back for the mansion, "It's just a habit that won't go away."

Kagome shrugged her shoulders and smiled, and they fell once more into companionable silence, strolling peacefully, still arm in arm.

As they passed by the stables, Kagome noticed a large group of men, who she didn't know very well but assumed were slaves, huddled together near the back wall, in the shadows of the large barn. She cocked her head to one side, trying to discern from her point of view what they could be talking about that was so fascinating, but in reality had no idea.

"I wonder what they're talking about," Hojo commented, practically reading her mind, though his voice had suddenly gone harsh. Kagome understood that he would probably never trust slaves again, after what had happened to his home.

"Oh, probably just talking," Kagome brushed it all aside, trying, in the process, to stop the fear brewing in her own stomach. She simply refused to fall prey to making assumptions and stereotyping people.

But even so, as she passed by, she couldn't help but wonder, and even once she was safely in her room after having bid Hojo good night, her mind would not rest. She tossed and turned the entire night, and unfortunately, sleep would not come; only nightmares of the night her mother died.