InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ In Death, Trust Me, as You Didn't in Life ❯ A Pale Shade of You ( Chapter 6 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 6: A Pale Shade of You

Myouga sighed, uncertain of what he should say. He was... unsure of just how much he should really get involved in this. He understood the desire of his young Lord to have the Lady Kagome returned, however, there were always... consequences for attempting to outwhit death.

He wasn't really sure that his Lord would understand that, or take it into consideration in his current state of mind, and it was this that was leaving him unsure of the correct path to take in this matter.

Perhaps... perhaps he should just lead the group to Bokuseno - once they got close, he could always summon his crow and sneak off to talk to the old youkai alone. Two heads were, after all, better than one, and Bokuseno was very wise.

Yes... that's what he would do.

"Lord Inuyasha, I would be pleased to lead you to Bokuseno, if that is your desire. But I must ask you... are you absolutely sure that this is the path you wish to follow?"

Inuyasha glared at the old flea, and then around the hut at the rest of the group - and Kikyou, and nodded fiercely. "Yes," he hissed. "I refuse to let her stay dead. I will find a way to bring her back, Myouga, with or without you, so don't ask me that question again." Flicking the flea off his shoulder, he glared around at everyone. "If any of you choose to go with me, be ready at first light. If none of you want to, then don't. I really don't care."

With that, he leapt out the door, headed back to the Goshinboku... and the graves beneath its spreading boughs.

Or at least, headed towards one of those graves.

---wWw---

Sesshoumaru glanced at his companion, noting her preoccupied air, and decided that they should wait a bit to continue with the next confrontation. Guiding her silently along, he headed for a place he thought she might enjoy, intent on showing her as much of the realm they were now a part of as possible in between the visions of their shared past.

Leading her forward through the parting mists, he waited for her to notice her surroundings, curious to see her reaction.

Kagome had been thinking about many things, not the least of which was Izayoi's hints that her being forced back to the land of the living was actually possible, when she realized that Sesshoumaru had led them to a halt, so, she looked up and focused in on her surroundings.

What was before her made her gasp in awed wonder.

She could tell immediately that they were on earth, and they were still in Nippon. Most definitely, however, they were not in sengoku jidai, or the modern era. They were much further back in time, and seeing as history was her favorite subject, and she was very well acquainted with it, she was pretty sure that they were between fourteen and sixteen thousand BP, or before present. Before the end of the last ice age.

From their location, they were still on the main island, and in the Northern quadrant, standing at the head of a large plateau, looking out across the sweep of the lands falling away before them. It wasn't hard to tell, since she had a fairly good idea where they were, that sea-levels were much lower than they were in her two eras - from where they were, in sengoku jidai, and the modern era, she'd be near the sea now.

She scanned the beauty before her, and felt a single, silvery tear fall from the corner of her right eye... the earth had indeed been beautiful beyond imagining before man had begun to taint it with their malice and greed. It made her heart ache to see the purity of the land in this time.

Sesshoumaru had watched, intently, yet discreetly as she took in where they were, and was pleased with the response. Truly, her heart is free of the taints so often found within others of human descent. But how did such a people as a whole produce one such as her? That is a mystery I would greatly enjoy unraveling.

"You mentioned only being able to see the earth in its pristine past in your imagination. I... wanted to show you that you could see it this way, in reality."

Kagome stared up at him for a moment, then turned her eyes back to the world around her.

"It's so precious, Sesshoumaru. How could people bear to destroy something like this?" In her eyes there was confusion. She really didn't understand the motives of humanity as a whole.

"I do not know the answer to that, Kagome." Here he paused, then with a slight sigh, he let his gaze wander across the wonders before him. "I... do not know if there even is an answer to that question. If there is, only the kami know it, I am sure."

Kagome nodded sadly, then sitting down, she waited for him to do the same. A troubled expression crossed her face, and he caught the tail end of it.

"What is it?"

"I'm... worried. Is what Izayoi hinted at possible? Could I be drug back to the living world?"

Sesshoumaru flashed a glance at her. She seemed hesitant; not truly happy with that idea. "Yes. Does that possibility disturb you?"

"It does. I... don't really want to return." She exhaled suddenly, deeply, in irritation. "It's just like Inuyasha not to think twice about the consequences of his actions. What does he want from me? He has Kikyou, that's who he always wanted. Am I supposed to never have anything for myself, so that while he's mated to her, I live alone, never having anything more than the friendship he is willing to give me? Of course the possibility disturbs me."

He was ultimately pleased to hear her words. But...

"Tell me, Kagome... do you still pine for him, then? For his heart to call to yours, rather than the other one?"

She shook her head vehemently at that. "No! I gave up on that a long time ago. Now if only he would let me alone - to find the rest of my destiny. Our path's no longer coincide!"

"You are correct. They do not."

Kagome shot him a considering look. "Tell me, Sesshoumaru, do you know how he could force me back?"

He was silent for several moments, then reluctantly nodded. "Yes. It is called the the Path of Blood. Because you vowed to remain with him as long as he wanted, he can use this way to call your soul back, in order to force you to fulfill that oath."

She clenched her hands, then... a sudden realization hitting her full force. She didn't want to be forced back because she didn't want to leave the stoic Lord she'd just begun to understand. She wanted to know the rest of him... wanted to learn him, to give him the trust he seemed so desperate to gain. She didn't understand the why's of those feelings, just that they were there.

"But... then what about our journey together, my Lord?"

Her inquiry surprised him, phrased in those terms... she sounded upset with the idea of being separated from him. Is she?

"Izayoi pointed out that if Inuyasha calls you back, I will also go." He kept his gaze pinned to the horizon. "I made a vow to you, as well - therefore, you cannot be separated from me 'til I have fulfilled mine. If we are pulled back, we will simply continue learning each other, there."

Kagome was taken aback at that. He made a vow to me? What vow? "Uh, Sesshoumaru... what did you vow to me? What oath did you swear? I don't remember any."

"It was a silent vow, Kagome, and I am not yet ready to divulge it. When I am, I will give you the words I spoke."

Kagome nodded after a moment, then turned away. "In the meantime, then, what's next?"

---wWw---

She blinked.

One moment, they'd been sitting looking out over a virginal, untouched land of high mountains and pure, untainted glaciers, and the next, they were back standing off to the side of the road, watching as Totosai came flying towards them on Momo, sheer terror on his face.

Flicking a glance at Sesshoumaru, she sighed. "Is it too much to ask that the next time you want to get somewhere without the actual bother of traveling there, you warn me first?"

Cocking a mocking brow at her, he bowed his head politely. "I will attempt to remember that, miko."

She sent him a highly suspicious glance, easily noting the mischievous flicker in his eyes, and knew he would do that to her again at some point.

It's so strange. Sometimes it's as if his face is immobile, and yet, if you actually take the time to look in his eyes - he's so very expressive. How did I never notice that before? Oh, yeah. That would probably be because I didn't look in his eyes much, she thought, wryly. He's got a dry wit - and a fine sense of the ironic. There really is so much more to this male than I ever suspected.

Turning her attentions to the scene before her, she found herself actually eager, for the first time, to know what he was thinking.

"I thought you might run back to Inuyasha."

'I wonder what the human wench will think when she hears what I have to say? Will she show me fear?'

"You there, old fogey. I will rip you apart along with the rest."

"And she stands there, and shows no fear. Somehow, I am no longer surprised by this. The others all reek of it - yet she does not. There is still only her own scent... warm cinnamon and peaches. That is another thing that is strange about her. She does not smell like other humans.

"Don't worry, it all ends today."

Kagome felt both brows raising into her bangs, and with a slight blush, looked at Sesshoumaru from the corner of her eye.

He really thought that? Cinnamon and peaches... well, it's nice to know I smell like a peach pie. She giggled just a little at that thought. And then the rest of his thought caught her attention.

"Wait a minute. I don't smell like other humans? What's that supposed to mean?" She wasn't sure whether to be insulted or what at that.

"Relax, miko, it most definitely was not an insult. Did you not notice the rather unpleasant stench that most humans in this era carry? They seem to avoid bathing as if it were... unsanitary."

Kagome nodded at that. "You're right about that. But that's true, you know. People of this period in time, here and in Europe, feared bathing, as they really did think it was bad for your health." She shuddered then. "I'm so glad I wasn't born in this era."

"Indeed."

Her attention was wrenched back to the battle now going on between the two brothers as she watched then Sesshoumaru grab Tessaiga with an arm he had attached to his stump. A dragon's claw.

"You know, I always wondered if you ever got tired of fighting with Inuyasha. After the first couple times, it got awfully redundant, dont you think?"

Sesshoumaru, who was also watching the fight, felt his muscles tighten with irritation when he heard past Kagome cry out for Inuyasha, worry in her voice. Without looking away from the battle, he said flatly, "Not at first. But as time went on, my reasons for seeking him out changed - and fighting with him became more of a... hindrance, but still a means to an end, if you will."

He wondered if she would catch what he was saying...

What he was hinting.

But he didn't think she would, not yet, at least. It was too soon.

Her brow furrowed as she wondered what his reasons could be. Could he really be hinting what it sounded like he was...?

'Why does her worry for the half-breed anger me? Disgust me? It is pathetic, and beneath me to even notice. And yet, even though I feel that way, I also am still angry at her concern for him. How can I feel two different and opposite things such as this at once?'

Kagome stared at his past self, and then watched as he blinded Inuyasha - remembering how her fear had risen for him - and apparently Sesshoumaru had caught her concern.

'She would show fear, for his sake!'

Past Sesshoumaru's eyes bled red, then, as he became enraged. At the time, she'd thought it was just from the battle.

But not anymore.

'How can she not see that the half-breed is not worth concern? Does she not see that this Sesshoumaru is worth far more?! And yet she shows no concern for me, only disdain. I will show her who is worthy of notice - I will show the half-breed up everytime I see him, and she will learn who holds value... and who does not!'

"Compared to me, you were never any good, you filthy damn half-youkai!"

Her head whipped around in shock as she stared at present Sesshoumaru. "You were jealous?! An-and then, you wanted to show him up? But why?" She shook her head, trying to clear it of the mad whirl of her thoughts. "You were going feral in anger because I wanted to protect my friend, because I was worried for him..." she trailed off, just too shocked to really understand.

He bowed his head, once, still staring straight ahead. "At that time, I did not understand, either, miko. It took me some time, but eventually, I began to."

Thoughts still spinning wildly, she watched as Inuyasha figured out the windscar and employed it against Sesshoumaru, and then as Tensaiga took him away, protecting him. And she remembered her thoughts, as the others all worried over Inuyasha and the Tessaiga, and her final question for Totosai.

"By the way, Totosai, Sesshoumaru has that sword named Tensaiga. You said that it's a healing sword that saves people. To hold it, wouldn't you need a caring heart?"

Totosai had merely stated that he had no idea why the sword rested with Sesshoumaru...

Leaving Kagome to her thoughts, then and now.

Even then... something in his heart was waking up. But why?

---wWw---

"Sesshoumaru?"

A pause, then, "Yes, miko?"

"When did you meet Rin for the first time?" Kagome didn't look at him, keeping her gaze pinned on the horizon.

"It was immediately after what we just saw. When I woke... she was there, trying to care for me. It was odd - a human child, trying to help a youkai." Sesshoumaru also kept his gaze trained on the distance, thoughts on the past. "She... reminded me in some way of you, from the first moment I saw her. So I watched her, thinking that maybe, it would help me understand you."

Kagome was very surprised to hear that. He thought Rin was like... me?

After a moment of silence, he spoke again, an unearthly calm lying in his voice. "When I was finally healed, I prepared to leave, but then I caught the scent of her blood. It... did not sit well with me. For the first time I, who reveled in the blood scent, was disturbed by it - and I still did not understand why. So I used Tensaiga."

Kagome reached up absently and grabbed a lock of hair, twirling it around slender fingers. The innocent action caught his attention, enthralled him. "But why did you let her travel with you?"

He shifted then, still watching her play with her hair as the breeze also did, lightly flicking the silky strands back and forth across her shoulders. It was mesmerizing...

"As I said, miko, she reminded me of you. When she chose to follow me, I did not turn her away, because I gained something from her company."

A furrowed brow, a confused glance, and she asked, "Well...? What did you get out of having a little human girl following you?"

He looked up from those fingers, and met her eyes. "I gained time... and the opportunity to study one who was like you. I received a chance to learn... you, so to speak."

She was startled. He could see it in her expression, in her eyes, even in her posture. Startled... astounded.

He looked away, back out at the scenery. A thought crossed his mind, and he spoke before he really thought about it. "She even resembles you... I, for one, never saw the resemblance so many spoke of regarding you and Inuyasha's dead one. But you, and Rin..." his voice trailed off, and Kagome wondered what he was thinking in that moment.

She still couldn't understand his need to know her, his desire to figure her out, but she felt really good inside when he said he didn't see any resemblance between her and Kikyou. Really good.

She flushed with pleased color as she thought about it. "Thank you," she whispered.

He cocked a brow at her as he looked back over at her. "For what, Kagome?"

"Not seeing someone else when you look at me."

"I could never do so - nor would I want to, miko, be assured of that."

No... to me, you were never anyone else but Kagome. I never saw things as Inuyasha did. For too long Kikyou was his 'other' - he wanted her and could only see her in you.

For me, Kagome, you would always and only be my 'other'. Anyone else would only be a copy...

A pale shade of you.

---wWw---

I do not want to go back. At first, walking with Sesshoumaru was a way to keep from being alone - and gratitude for him waiting for me. But now... it's different. I don't want to leave him. There is so much to see in him, and I don't want to stop looking.

I want to stay... with Sesshoumaru.

Kagome sighed, agitation swirling through her system, unbeknownst to her, making her miko aura rise. She was too lost in her thoughts to notice anything external - nor really pay any mind, at first, of the now darkened sky lighting up around her.

Until a deep voice interrupted her, a tinge of amusement hidden within its depths.

"Miko. Cease the display - there is nothing here that can threaten you."

Kagome blinked, then looked over at him from her spot on the grass. It took her a moment to realize they hadn't moved from their earlier spot, and then she noticed the glow.

"Oh! I uhhh..." she looked away sheepishly, a deep blush washing her high cheekbones. "For some reason, I thought, since there's no death around here, I wouldn't really need miko powers."

He tilted his head and considered her, not understanding. "I do not comprehend you, Kagome. What do you mean?"

She chuckled. "I mean that I thought for some reason that I no longer had my miko powers. There's no death here, so no need for self-defense, right?"

Seshoumaru stared at her for several seconds. "Just because there is no death here, does not mean there is no need for defense - or offense, as the situation requires. You can still be challenged, attacked, even fought over here - the only difference being that those who lose do not die."

Kagome was dumbfounded, staring at him, unable to look away. "You mean to tell me that there's people still fighting - even here?"

"Of course, miko. Tell me, honestly, do you not think that I would still fight with Inuyasha were he here? Especially now - as he attempts to force you away from my side?" Sesshoumaru was really curious. Did she really think that death made anything different?

It changes nothing - which is why I waited for you.

She broke out of her stupor at that. "Which reminds me. I need to find a way to get a message to someone." She touched a finger to her chin and tapped it softly against her lips. "Probably Sango would be best - we were very close."

Sesshoumaru was riveted by the sight of her dainty finger gently tapping against her lip.

If I was fascinated by the miko in life, death has only made it an obsession...

With a deep, but nearly silent inhale, he said, "There is a way to do so through a dream sequence. I can walk you through it - but it is probable that I would be with you in the dream as well."

She thought about it for a minute, then nodded decisively. "That's fine. I want her to try to get Inuyasha to back off."

High color washed her face, and she looked at the ground, refusing to meet Sesshoumaru's eyes as her words brushed softly against his ears

"I don't want to go back. I want to stay here with you."

His heart skipped a beat, then...

Do you truly, Kagome?

"I will lead the way, miko. Get comfortable, like you plan to sleep, and close your eyes."

I will have the chance to walk in your dreams now, Kagome...

As you have for so long walked through mine.

---wWw---

A/N: Trouble's a comin'... namely Inuyasha. Let's just hope they have long enough to finish their little trip down memory lane before he changes things up.

Amber