InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ In Death, Trust Me, as You Didn't in Life ❯ Damaged Soul ( Chapter 8 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 8: Damaged Soul

"Myouga! Oi, Myouga! Where the fuck are you, ya little bastard? You'd better not have snuck off!" Inuyasha was impatient and ready to leave, and was getting angrier by the minute that the little bloodsucker was taking his time.

Finally, he felt the little bite that signified his retainer's presence, and reaching up with his claws, he grabbed his head and pulled it off him. "What's the damn hold up, Myouga? When I said before dawn, I meant before dawn!"

"I apologize, my Lord. I was simply tired. I am not a young flea anymore, you know," he said, sitting on his dignity.

"Feh. Whatever." Moving quickly, he tied the flea to his suikan before he could get away, and ignoring his protests, pushed his head through the matting on Kaede's door. "Sango, Miroku, I'm leaving. Either of you guys goin' with or not?"

Miroku met his gaze. "Of course we are going with you, Inuyasha, even though I do not approve of this, I would not abandon a friend. We will be ready momentarily."

"Keh." He pulled back from the hut, a slight blush on his cheeks at the knowledge that even though they may not agree with something he was doing, they would still support him.

He turned and stared out over the village, then stiffened, noting the presence coming up from behind him. As it neared him he said, "Kikyou." Both knew it wasn't an encouragement, merely an acknowledgment.

"Inuyasha." She stood next to him, also looking out over the village. "Is there nothing that will convince you to leave this path? You cannot restore her to life."

"Drop it, Kikyou. You know, it's really funny. That right there is the biggest difference between you two. And to think... I never saw it." He snorted in disgust - disgust at his own blindness. "Kagome wouldn't be arguing with me if the situation were reversed. She'd be helping me to find a way to bring you back. But that's because she isn't selfish - she wanted me to be happy, even if it was with someone else. Too bad you aren't the same."

Kikyou gasped, hurt echoing through her at his words. Is this how Kagome always felt when he would compare her to me? Drawing a deep breath, she snapped, "This isn't about you, you fool! This is about Kagome, whatever else you might think. You've no right to call me selfish when you yourself are." She held up a warning hand as he attempted to deny it.

"Don't lie! What do you call this, then? She has said she does not wish to come back! If she had wanted to be brought back, I would join you, and I would help - but she does not! Even I, with my more selfish ways," she spat at him, "would not wish the fate I suffered on her head. But I am willing to let her be, because it's what she chose!"

With a huff, she turned from his growling form, and began to walk away, pausing only once. "Before you dare to speak of my selfishness, you should look at your own." Then she moved on, leaving behind a suddenly silenced inu half demon.

Inuyasha was still silent a moment later when Sango and Miroku stepped from the hut, a sleepy Shippo perched on the monk's shoulder, with Kirara on Sango's. Neither said a word about what they'd heard, instead choosing to let things alone for the time being.

"Where are we heading first, Inuyasha?" Miroku was curious to know if he had a destination in mind.

"Keh. We're heading to see the oldest living demon in Nippon."

Sango's brow furrowed as she met Miroku's questioning gaze, then turned to look at Inuyasha.

"Bokuseno, the demon tree."

"Will he help us?" Sango wasn't sure this was going to do any good.

Inuyasha glared into the distance, her question sending hot blood pounding through his veins at the thought that the tree might withhold information, and his eyes flickered red for a moment.

"He will... or he won't be the oldest living demon anymore."

The others all exchanged disturbed glances with each other...

This quest wasn't starting well.

Not at all.

---wWw---

Kagome looked down at herself and wrinkled her nose. "Ugh. You know, so far this is what sucks the most about being dead." When Sesshoumaru shot her a startled look, she grinned ruefully and gestured at her clothing. "Not bathing and having to wear the same things all the time."

Sesshoumaru tilted his head with a confused look in his eyes, asking, "Why do you think you must wear the same clothing all the time... or that you cannot bathe, miko?"

She stared at him. "Are you serious?"

"All you need to do for a change of clothing is concentrate on what you want to wear... I believe I mentioned before that in this realm, all you need is the will, did I not?"

She blushed. "Well... damn. Guess I didn't remember about that. But what about a bath? I'd love to visit a hot spring, you know."

"Very well. Follow me." Without a word of protest, he moved off, heading towards another area where the mists thinned, and leading her into a clearing backed by a small onsen.

Kagome's face brightened immeasurably, almost in heaven at the sight. "Thank you, Sesshoumaru!"

He nodded, then turned and walked into the surrounding foliage. "I will await you, miko. Enjoy your bath."

"Uh-huh," she hummed absentmindedly. "I won't take too long, I promise."

Sesshoumaru was actually surprised when she kept her word, coming out of the small clearing within a very short period, looking relaxed and happy... and dressed in something that had the stoic demon Lord almost choking.

"Miko, what are you wearing, exactly?" His voice had a small husky note in it, and he fought to keep himself under control. The sight before him was just a bit more than he could handle.

Kagome looked up at him in surprise, her bright smile faltering as she saw the look on his face. He looked... stunned. She glanced down at herself, confused about why he would react that way.

"Uh... is there a problem with it? It's basically like the taijiya outfit, although I added this outer kimono for a bit more coverage. Did I offend you somehow?"

Before either could move, a powerful aura crashed into their senses, and Kagome's eyes widened in surprise as a very handsome male appeared in the small clearing with them. Casting an uncertain glance at Sesshoumaru, she relaxed when she noted his normal stoic expression settle on his face. Whoever this was, he was not concerned.

"My dear, you didn't offend the pup," the male laughed at the low growl coming from Sesshoumaru, "you just shocked him. That is some outfit!"

Kagome's face morphed once more into confusion. "What do you mean? Does it look badly on me? Maybe..." she blushed then, a mortified look crossing her face, "am I too..." her voice dropped in humiliation, "fat for this? I'm sorry! I'll change it, I promise."

She closed her eyes to figure some other outfit out, only to be stopped by the male when he burst out in laughter once more. Kagome was almost in tears when she looked at Sesshoumaru - his face had, for the first time since she'd known him, lost its calm facade, and showed him to be genuinely, and highly, astounded.

"Lady Kagome, you fear for no good reason. You are most definitely not too 'fat' for that outfit. It is stunning - and that is why my son looks like he's been pole-axed." The Inu no Taisho chuckled, this situation was far too funny. "I have to say, I haven't seen anything so attractive in many an age, young miko. I could spend an eternity staring at the vision of loveliness that is you."

Kagome blushed, instantly turning several shades of cranberry, which for some reason, only enhanced the vision she made. The black undersuit, topped by the silvery blue over-kimono, was striking.

"So, you're...?" She glanced at Sesshoumaru, then back over the the handsome male before her.

"Guilty, I am afraid. I have no choice but to claim the whelp as mine."

Kagome tried to keep her laughter contained, but it was a bit difficult. The Inu no Taisho was quite the flirt - he reminded her greatly of Miroku.

"What are you here for, Father? Is there a purpose to this visit?" Sesshoumaru had by now managed to regain his control, and was a bit annoyed at the interruption. He was enjoying his travels with Kagome - without other people bothering them. Or staring at her in that... outfit.

It's a good thing Inuyasha is not here - I would have to gut him had he seen her like this.

Sugimi met his son's gaze and held it, then nodded. "Have you told her why you waited yet, Sesshoumaru?"

"It is not time for that, father. Do not interfere in this, it is not your concern."

"I would not say that, my son - it is my concern as I choose to make it so." At that, Sesshoumaru let out another low growl, and Sugimi chuckled. "Do not, pup. You cannot threaten me."

With a low bow in a rather lost Kagome's direction, he turned and began to walk away, but paused, and looking over his shoulder, said, "Do not waste time, Sesshoumaru, you have less of it than you think. Your brother will not give up - so take advantage of what time is left for you both here in this realm." With that, he turned and moved away, vanishing quickly.

Kagome turned her gaze on Sesshoumaru, only to see him lost in contemplation. She wondered what he was thinking about so heavily, and it startled her when he spoke. "Come. We have much to see. It is time for another viewing of past events."

She remained silent, simply taking his outstretched arm, and docilely following along behind him. So that was his father - and Inuyasha's. Wow. He's... not what I would have imagined from knowing the two of them, and yet, in some ways, he is almost a perfect mix of both of them. In control, calm, and powerful, as with Sesshoumaru, but more open like Inuyasha with his emotions.

But what I don't get was the point of that whole meeting. What was he trying to accomplish? And why was he worried about me knowing why Sesshoumaru waited for me?

Ugh... more questions and no answers.

Shaking her head to clear it of useless thoughts, she glanced at her companion. "So... our next meeting, huh? Let me think... wasn't it that time when you got Tokijiin?"

"No. I did not say our next meeting. I said past events. This is one you never knew about - we did not meet, but I was there, and I watched."

Kagome's brow went up in surprise. "Watching? Uh, when was that?"

He paused for a moment, then said, "When Kanna tried to steal your soul. I was nearby, and I watched what happened."

She thought about that for a while. "So your saying that you were there... but why? I mean, why were you there? It just seems strange, you know, to think of you hanging around where humans were."

He sighed. "I was there because I was curious. I still could not understand you. So I went looking for you... for answers."

She cocked her head, giving him a curious look. "Did you find any?"

He huffed. "No. I only found more questions."

As always with you, miko.

As always... even now it is the same...

---wWw---

Kagome looked around at the place he'd led her, and sighed morosely. Yup, sure recognize this place. I almost lost my soul again, here. She chuckled then, a flat sound in the cool air. Seems like everyone wants a piece of it... that this is the most peace I've found is saying something - I had to die to be happy and safe.

Sesshoumaru kept his eyes forward, but he was aware of the melancholy air that had settled over Kagome, and he wondered at it.

"Miko."

She blinked, then looked over at him absently. "Hmm?"

"Why is your aura disturbed?"

How like Sesshoumaru, instead of asking if I'm alright, he asks why my aura is disturbed. He really needs to loosen up a bit.

"These memories... from this place are not exactly comfortable, Sesshoumaru." She looked away, pinning her gaze to the house they'd left Koharu in, and where they'd met Kanna for the first time. "Too many times I've had others try to steal my soul from me, or to corrupt it and taint me. Every time, it hurt. I dislike remembering those particular instances, that's all."

"That is... understandable."

Kagome looked around, and then frowned. "Wait a minute, Sesshoumaru. How could you have seen what was happening? We were inside... it's not like there were a lot of places to hide in there, you know."

At that, a slender black brow raised regally, and he looked down at her with an arrogant disbelief written across his features. "Do you doubt my words, miko? Or is it my abilities that you doubt?"

She shook her head, rolling her eyes at his expression. "No, Sesshoumaru, neither one. I'm just asking how you did it."

"This Sesshoumaru can bind his youki to himself so tightly that it effectively removes him from sight."

"Okay, you can get off your high horse already, Lord Sesshoumaru. I wasn't trying to offend your dignity," she huffed.

"Hn." He drew her forward, entering the building and moving easily towards the room they'd been in when Kanna had trapped them. "My dignity will recover, miko. Do not be concerned."

Kagome blinked. "Was that a... joke?"

"And if it was?"

"Ugh. Never mind. Let's just eavesdrop on your thoughts so we can get out of this place. It still gives me the creeps."

Like a play being put on for her benefit, she watched the confrontation between first Sango and Kanna, and then herself and Kanna... and even knowing that this was the past, the pain she felt watching her soul being stolen was more than an echo.

Looking around, she really didn't need to watch it all, since she was well aware of what happened, she tried to pinpoint Sesshoumaru's location, but couldn't.

"You will not be able to find me, Kagome."

"Hmmph." She folded her arms across her chest and pointedly ignored him. She was quite happy to hear the first of his thoughts... she really wanted out of this place.

'This demon is strange - she has no aura. It is interesting, that. Still, I do not think she will defeat the human.'

Unfettered surprise washed across her face, and she stared up at Sesshoumaru, shocked. "You... knew I would get away from her?"

He held her eyes for a moment, then looked away. "Yes." He didn't elaborate, but he really didn't need to.

He... believed in me, back then - even when Inuyasha didn't. He might have hated me... but...

"What was it like?"

Kagome looked up at him, jerked from her thoughts by his voice. With a sad look, she smiled slightly, then looked away. "It was... agonizing, for lack of a better word. It was more painful than a physical attack. It was all I could do to even move, because the pain burned my mind, and I couldn't think."

Sesshoumaru considered her words, and somewhere deep inside, he shuddered. The thought of having your soul ripped away...

"We must follow, Kagome. This time you went outside to stop Naraku and Kanna."

Kagome merely nodded as she watched herself fly off on Kirara. She walked along behind him obediently, keeping an ear open for any more of his stray thoughts.

'This miko... she grows stranger every time I see her. She does not run from fear - even when she feels it. I have never seen a human react so.'

It took a moment for the significance of that last thought to sink in, but when it did, Kagome looked at him, a brilliant smile lighting her features.

"Sesshoumaru! This is the first time you called me something other than human or girl. You called me miko!"

He bowed his head at her, then met her eye. "Yes. It was a measure of respect. You never seemed to care that people addressed you with the title you were born into, but it was a sign of earned respect that I addressed you as such. Truly, at this point, it was grudging, but it was there."

He actually felt respect towards me so soon - and yet it took Inuyasha so much longer - and he never treated me as a person worthy of any respect even if he felt that way... it was always about Kikyou. But Sesshoumaru...

Kagome shivered as she watched herself confront Naraku and his incarnations - it was eerie, and made her skin crawl seeing their deadliest enemy in the flesh again.

'This miko carries power - but she doesn't know how to use it. Where does she come from that she is so untrained? Her soul, also... I have never seen one so large before - and pure. It sheds light like the full moon. Intriguing.'

The confrontation was quickly over, and Kagome smiled at the poetry of his last thought. Didn't know he had it in him.

"Sesshoumaru?"

"Yes, Kagome?"

"Why didn't you intervene at that time? Was it because I'm human - and Inuyasha was there?"

He shook his head slightly, letting his gaze linger on the wounds in the ground left by the windscar.

"No. It was because I knew you could defend yourself and your companions."

He glanced down at her wondering expression.

"I trusted you to take care of the problem. They were not worthy opponents for you."

Kagome's eyes had widened at his statement.

He trusted that I could fight and win - he believed in me, even then, when he still hated me. And Inuyasha who claimed to love me...

Didn't.

What does that say?

'Inuyasha truly is a fool. He has such power at his fingertips - and he squanders it. Why does she still follow him?'

There was the beginning hints of frustration in his thoughts.

Frustration that she was so loyal to one that was undeserving of such.

"Tell me, Kagome. How much of your soul was damaged by all those others - and how much of it was damaged by Inuyasha?" He pulled her along again, leaving that particular scene in the past - where it belonged.

She stared at him in horror as that question beat into her consciousness.

How did he know?

---wWw---

A/N: I'm on a roll with the plot of this story right now, so I'm just going with it. Can't say how long it will last, but... and for those who are waiting for the next chapter of Fetch, don't worry, I am also working on that one in between bouts of this one.

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