InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ In Death, Trust Me, as You Didn't in Life ❯ Kagome's Choice ( Chapter 37 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 37: Kagome's Choice

Kagome stared, horror-struck, at the goddess sitting near her.

Stay here... forever? No way! I won't leave Sesshoumaru! But... her face fell, and a tear made it's way down her cheek... if I don't pay this price, then the kami won't help... how can I leave so many to die for my selfishness?

And then a thought struck her, and she narrowed her eyes, turning that glare on the goddess.

"Wait a minute! Why should I have to pay for a mistake you kami made? You guys messed up, so you should fix it!" Her fear of speaking so to this goddess was gone - if she was going to be forced to stay here, without Sesshoumaru, she'd rather be destroyed, anyway.

Amaterasu tilted her head as she looked at the girl, surprised. She would speak so to a goddess? "Have you no fear, girl? Don't you know that it is not wise to anger the kami?"

"Well, you're already threatening to rip my life to shreds just because you're curious! What could you do that would be worse? Obliterate me? I'd almost rather that than be kept from those I love - I'd only wilt away here, anyway..." she trailed off sadly.

"And why is it our fault that this imbalance has happened, nisou?"

Kagome looked up at her, spluttering. "What do you mean, how is it your fault? You're the ones that gave power to certain humans, without anything to balance it out, to make them accountable for what they use it for. Free power, without any consequences for misuse... how is that ever a good idea?"

"Are not humans capable of good judgement?" she asked, a lofty note of astonishment in her voice - a false astonishment, as Kagome could clearly hear. The woman was toying with her - and she didn't know why.

"Some are... but many aren't. If they all were, we wouldn't even be here talking about this!" she snapped out.

"That is truly how you feel, then?" The goddess asked, a peculiar intensity in her voice. "It is our fault that the humans are overrunning the world, and you wish us to fix it - without requiring anything from you?"

"Why should I pay for mistakes another made? Is that, then, the justice of the gods?" she asked quietly, formally.

Amaterasu sat back and studied her for a time, her curiosity not at all assuaged by her talk with this girl. But she was correct... they had misjudged their children's ability to use the power granted them wisely, and now, the world would indeed, pay the price if something were not done. Since the kami had no desire to watch the entire world disappear...

Finally, she sighed. "You are correct, child. We are at fault, and should do what you have asked, without requiring a price. But I am still unwilling to give up my request." At Kagome's anguished look, she shook her head. "There is... another way. I did not wish to consider it, at first... but perhaps, it is the only true way to know one such as you."

Kagome grasped onto that small hope with both hands. If they were going to get something from her, she'd rather it be anything other than being kept away from Sesshoumaru - and the rest of her loved ones.

"So... what is this way, then?"

---wWw---

Three days had passed since Kagome had disappeared into the other realms, and Sesshoumaru was going quietly crazy. If she did not return soon, he would go searching for her himself.

How did she become the air that I breathe - and in such a short time? I am centuries old... and it only took a few years for her to bring this one to his knees. It is shameful... but while I tell myself that, I find that in truth, he sighed, I do not care.

Let it be shameful - I want her back.

"My lord!"

With an annoyed growl at the sharp voice of his retainer, he turned as the toad trotted into the clearing he'd taken up residence in, followed quickly by Rin and the fox kit.

"Jaken," he snapped out.

"Oh! My Lord... there's been another influx of villagers from the north, and if this keeps up, they'll be here in this clearing soon, setting up temporary shelters until more huts can be built. If they come, what will you do, my Lord?" the toad moaned.

"I will not give up this clearing until it is time to go into battle, Jaken, so it will be up to you to direct the newcomers into other places." He looked thoughtfully into the sky, then turned back to the toad.

"Go, and find Inuyasha. Instruct him to come to me here. Then take Rin and the kit and help them find something to eat."

Jaken sighed, saying "Yes, my Lord," in a dejected voice, and turned to head back out of the clearing, muttering about his bad luck in playing babysitter to two children - as if one weren't bad enough. He shut up immediately when he felt a rock ping him in the back of the head.

The moment they left the clearing, he once again raised his face and stared into the sky, simply enjoying the warmth of the sun on his skin. Once, he'd prefered the cold... before he'd known the warmth that was Kagome.

Now, he lived for the bursts of effervescent heat that she emitted from her very soul, warming everything around her. He craved it, and though the sun warmed his flesh somewhat...

It was nothing compared to her.

He was pulled from his reverie a few minutes later as a red-clad hanyou broke into the clearing, and he closed his eyes for a moment, searching for every bit of calm and control he had to maintain his stoic reputation, when all he really wanted was to let his demon blood free and go hunt for his chosen mate.

"Keh. What's up, Sesshoumaru?" his brother asked, moving quickly to stand near him.

"Inuyasha. There is something I wish for you to do. I think you will find it very amusing," he said, a brow rising into his bangs as he thought of the havoc the half-demon and the sorceress could cause once unleashed together.

"Well, spit it out! What the hell do ya want me to do?"

"The sorceress, and Kanna, will be returning to report to me today. I have had them monitoring the monks - and Nyoko has been using some of her more... obnoxious... spells on them. When they go back, I wish you to go back with them." As Inuyasha started spitting out curse words, his face grew grim, and he held up a hand. Inuyasha fell silent at that look.

"Understand, Inuyasha, that you are there for their protection. As demons, if the monks catch you or Kanna, you will be purified. As a human, helping demons... what have the villagers that have come here told you? Those humans who help demons and are caught..." he trailed off, his tone ominous, and Inuyasha's face became stern as well.

He'd heard quite well what that bastard monk was doing to humans... burning them to death or otherwise torturing them - sometimes even both. It was horrific, and despite the fact that that wench was going to drive him nuts... he couldn't justify leaving her in harms way with no protector.

With a sigh, and a reluctant nod, he said, "Fine. I'll do it. How long are we supposed to hassle the idiots?"

"Until he's consolidated his position, and begun to move this way. Once he reaches a day from this village, you and Nyoko will retreat to this position, and we will move out to meet them on the plains."

Inuyasha nodded again, frowning in thought. "From what the newest group of villagers that have arrived have said, they're about five days from here right now." He looked up and met his brother's solemn gaze. "Guess I'll see you in five days or so, then. Call me when the wench gets here," he finished, a sour look crossing his face.

Sesshoumaru merely nodded, deciding that now was not the time to hassle his brother about the fact that, while he might get away from the monks - he certainly wouldn't be getting away from the sorceress.

This courtship is going to be very entertaining to watch.

Inuyasha waved a hand in a sloppy salute, then took off, heading back to the village, and Sesshoumaru went back to his contemplation of the sky.

Hopefully, my female will return soon, so that I can concentrate on my own courtship, and not speculate about my brothers.

He stared into the sky, watching as the sun made its way slowly across the arc, and wondered...

What are you doing now, my miko? What is paramount in your thoughts at this moment?

---wWw---

Amaterasu watched Kagome's face as she took in her words, wondering what her choice would be - stay forever, or take what she was now offering.

Kagome's thoughts were oddly following the goddess' own. Should I? But what choice do I have? Well... knowing the kami, I'd better ask what this other way is, first... I hope it'd a better option than being trapped here, forever.

"So... what is this other way, then?" she asked, suspicion clearly glinting in her eye, and Amaterasu laughed delightedly.

"Perhaps," she mused out loud, "this will be an even better option for me than the other - it would, after all, mean instant gratification of my desire to understand you."

Kagome's brow arched... instant gratification?

"Listen then, nisou, to your only other choice. We will combine, for a few seconds only. However, in that few seconds, we will be one person. Goddess and human - one being."

Kagome was shocked, unable to even articulate in that moment. Become one...with a goddess?! With Amaterasu?

"B-but... wouldn't the darkness that I carry in my soul, taint you?" she asked in shock.

"Your soul carries so little darkness that it almost isn't even a valid concern - but what little is there will not taint me. However," here, she caught and held Kagome's gaze, "there is no way to completely separate every part of us, afterwards. A part of you will always exist within me, and a part of me... will always exist within you."

Amaterasu reached out and trailed a finger down Kagome's cheek, a slight smile on her face, and finished with, "You will carry a part of the divine within you always, Kagome - and that is how you will also restore the balance. Everything that you will need to do so, will be embodied within you."

Kagome's eyes widened, and she choked. "Wait, what? Your answer to having given too much power to people is to give me even more?"

And Amaterasu laughed, a joyous peal into the salty-smelling air as she stood and pulled Kagome up with her. "That is why I am willing to do this, nisou - you have already proven yourself worthy. I have no fear that you will misuse what I am about to give you. Do you accept?" she asked, her voice almost choral, and Kagome was abruptly aware that she wasn't just speaking to Amaterasu in that moment, but all the kami at once... and she shivered as she thought about it.

"But... how will I know what to do or even when to do it?" she asked doubtful of her own ability.

"That is something only you can decide, nisou. All we can say is to let your heart lead you - it will never lead you down the wrong path."

She was silent for one more moment as she thought about it, then she nodded, reluctantly.

"Okay, I accept - under duress," she made sure to point out. "Humans weren't meant for divinity - or even part of it," she grumbled, and the kami before her nodded.

"You are right... but you have the potential to be able to handle it. Do not fail us in this, nisou - the balance of things now lays on your shoulders," she said, and then she stepped forwards, so quickly that Kagome didn't even have time to react...

And right into her, as though she were naught but a spirit.

Kagome felt the shockwave right down to the bottom of her soul, as every part of her became one with every part of Amaterasu in that moment - a moment, and, conversely, an eternity, and she was awed, shocked, broken, tossed on the waves of power, and then picked up, and molded back together...

Into Kagome once again... but Kagome, as a child of the sun goddess, and as Amaterasu finally stepped back out of her, she closed her eyes, still trying to take in everything that had happened in that moment that had encompassed forever within it.

The world, and all it's realms... its so amazing! And this is all... the kami have created it, in this way... Oh, I understand so much more now!

"That is not so surprising, my child, now that you carry some of my power within you - some of my aspect as the sun goddess. I told you - you are now in charge of the balance of things - you could almost say you are the goddess of balance," she chuckled at Kagome's horrified expression.

"And I find I even understand your reaction, now that a piece of you lives with me. You find it horrifying to push yourself forward so, ne? Giving yourself any importance above anyone else..." the goddess trailed off. Then laughed again.

"It's possible that this has been of even more benefit to me, than it has been to you, little goddess... I am certainly understanding the concept of humility better," she said ruefully, and Kagome laughed, startled.

"And perhaps limits as well," she said softly. "As kami, we really had no idea of the limitations of humanity - the fragility that we had created in them, and so, that is how we made so many mistakes with them, I think. But now... I have a much better understanding of what we created humans to be."

Kagome looked out over the water of the tiny little bit of Amaterasu's reality, and found that she understood the mechanics of it in a way she hadn't a little while before. It was simple will.

She willed it to be a certain way, and the ether that made up all of creation obeyed - because it was being willed by one of it's creators.

Finally, she sighed, and looked over at Amaterasu. "I'm glad, then, that this has done some good... but I'm still nervous about how I'm supposed to fix everything."

"This situation will help you learn to assert your will, I think, my little demi-goddess. It will be good practice for you." She turned and looked at her, and smiled, a bit sadly. "Much as I still wish to keep you here, I think it is time to collect your companion, and for you to go back. There is much happening - and I think you should be there."

Kagome nodded, and looked at her once more. "This has... certainly been interesting, that's for sure. I'm sure that I'll see you again at some point - am I right?"

Amaterasu tilted her head. "Yes." And then she faded out, as did the beach they'd been standing on, and Kagome sighed as a voice came from behind her.

"What happened... and where did Amaterasu go?" Sugimi asked, confusion in his voice.

"And... what has happened to you?"

---wWw---

Kikyou frowned, an odd feeling coming over her, and she looked skyward, towards the heavens... it was like there had been a shift in her miko ki - something changing in the realms of the kami.

By the same token, Miroku also looked up, from where he was, towards the heavens, feeling that shift as well as Kikyou did...

And all across the lands, miko, and monk, priest, and priestess, looked towards the heavens, and wondered....

What has happened in the realms of the gods?

---wWw---

Ungai, too, felt the shift, as did his army, but he took it as a sign... a sign that the gods condoned what he was doing, and that the heavens were shifting in order to prepare for the battle that was coming - the battle where he would take on and defeat the Lord of the West...

And all those who allied themselves with him, human and demon.

Proof! Proof that the gods side with me, that what I am doing is righteous! The path that I have chosen is the correct path - and I will be exalted one day for the sacrifices that I have made in order to walk it.

He cast a glance back over his shoulder at the army that walked behind him, and smiled.

Soon, I will fulfill my destiny as laid down by the kami, and the Buddha - and send every demon back to hell...

Back to hell - where they belong.

---wWw---

Sesshoumaru watched as Nyoko landed, and folded her hands in her kimono. "Well, I'm back to check in like you wanted, Lord Sesshoumaru. Any particular instructions for me?" she asked.

"Tell me, what have you done to the monk and his army since you left to spy on them?" he asked, signaling Jaken to go find Inuyasha while he spoke to Nyoko.

She shook her head, a devious smile on her face. "Oh... nothing - yet. But I've set up one fairly complicated spell," she pointed to a line of dark clouds low on the horizon. "See that? That's not strictly a natural storm. It's going to be fairly nasty - at least, for Ungai and his army. So, I don't have a lot of time to stay and chat... I don't want to miss all the fun."

He nodded. "Very well. I do believe, however, that you will be pleased to hear that I am sending Inuyasha with you - as protection, and... entertainment, shall we say?"

He said that with such a straight face, that it took Nyoko a minute to take in what he'd actually said, but when she did...

"Really?" she asked eagerly, and she clapped her hands together excitedly when he nodded. "Oh, this is gonna be so much fun! I get to mess with that stupid monk and his buffoons, and teach the cute puppy to play all sorts of interesting games," her voice dropped wickedly on the last words, and Inuyasha caught them as he entered the clearing.

"Oi, bitch, don't be trying to play any of your dumbass tricks on me, ya got that? Or, Sesshoumaru or no Sesshoumaru, I'll bring you back in a box," he scowled.

"Oooo," she cooed sweetly, "the puppy barks loudly, doesn't he?"

"Feh, bitch, I'll show you puppy," he started, but was cut off by his brother.

"Inuyasha."

"What?!" he yelled.

Sesshoumaru wrapped one clawed hand around his brother's neck and squeezed lightly - relatively, anyway. "You will stop barking. Be silent, and listen."

He let go of the half-demon, then said, "You had best leave now if you are to make it back to the position of that army in a reasonable time frame. And brother," he eyed Inuyasha with a dangerous look, "you will make sure you bring them both back - alive, and in good condition - are we clear?"

Inuyasha growled, but nodded. "Yeah, sure, whatever. Just get outta my way." He looked over at the sorceress, who'd been unnaturally silent during that exchange, and caught her watching his every move avidly. With a shudder, he growled deeper.

"Move it, wench. Get back on your damn feather, and let's get going. The sooner we can get this over with, the sooner I can get away from you." Without even waiting for an answer, he took off, and Nyoko grinned almost ferally as she snagged Kanna and hopped onto another feather, taking off after the speeding half-demon like a bat out of hell.

Sesshoumaru watched as they took off, unblinking, then shook his head.

The more I see of those two, the less I want to, he thought with a frown.

Another thing that damn monk must pay for - forcing me into a situation where I am tormented by their presence.

What an inhuman punishment.

---wWw---

A/N: Bet that one threw you all for a loop! I love to do that to people... beware hairpin turns and cliffs! Anyway, hope everyone enjoys, nonetheless, and that nobody gets whiplash!

Amber