InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ In the Arms of My Sanity ❯ Crash ( Chapter 4 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: CherryBlossomMiko 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.29.2004 | Updated On: 07.29.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 4.0K | Visits: 498 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.29.2004 | Updated On: 07.29.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 4.0K | Visits: 498 | Status: Completed
In the Arms of My Sanity...
- By CherryBlossomMiko
- -
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, and I hope that is clear enough because I am very attached to the lint in my pockets, my stuffed animals, and half of my favorite pen.
Summary: Kagome's feudal, lust-based relationship with Sesshoumaru is pushing her emotions every which way, confusing her and driving her insane. There's only one person in the world who can make everything crystal clear; her sanity. But now Kagome's feelings for him are what's causing her controversy; can she figure it out before she loses them both?
Pairings: Sesshoumaru/Kagome (beginning), really an InuYasha/Kagome
Rating: R; for language, adult themes, and adult situations.
Author's Note: Welcome to the first of the companion chapters. I am warning you that we are fully back into the angst and other unhappiness, for nearly the rest of the story.
Warning: angst
- -
:: Chapter Three: Crash ::
- -
His brown eyes flashed in the setting sun as he looked up at their window, her emotional and heavenly scent tingling in his nose. He could hear her crying if he twitched his ears in their direction, but just faintly.
He was waiting; he knew it was coming. The Masaharu family had been split before Kagome, now they were even more divided. And that was his ally. They'd fight, one would be dead and the other so injured movement would be a challenge; and then he'd take her.
He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he hardly noticed the small youkai that bounded up the driveway, a sealed white envelope clutched in his claws.
"Sir?"
He looked down, his eyebrows rising. Few youkai dared set foot on Masaharu ground, the family legacy more than enough to scare away even the bravest of youkai from InuTashio's even greater son, Masaharu Sesshoumaru.
"This is the house of Masaharu Sesshoumaru, correct?"
He nodded, tensing in anticipation of something crazy from the miniature youkai.
"Don't get all worked up, I've just got a very important letter for a Miss Masaharu Kagome."
The youkai held out the letter, which he took, sniffing it as the small youkai took off. He detected nothing unusual or dangerous about the letter, so he pressed a small button behind him and slid the letter into the slot.
The occupants of the upstairs room gave no sign that they had heard the small buzzer.
Sesshoumaru tucked the sheets around Kagome, standing over her for a moment as she rolled into a comfortable position, curling into a small ball in the middle of the bed. He sighed softly, turning to walk into his closet. He changed his shirt, not bothering to change his jeans. He left, taking quick steps down the hallway, the stairs at the same brisk pace; his standard. Halfway down, he stopped suddenly, mid-step, an unfamiliar scent twirling in the air as he set his foot down on the cool marble.
He followed the scent to the mail basket, which sat in the shadows behind an end table, a small silver rectangle, a slot, the only indication of its existence. He leaned over the wooden table, one palm flat against the stone top. One pristine white envelope sat innocently in the bottom of the wicker basket, face down, unsettling the air around it with its foreign and unwelcome scent.
He reached down, grasping the letter between two claws. The front bore no address, just "Masaharu Kagome" in ornate script, the return address posted to one of several downtown law firms. He sniffed it briefly, and, finding nothing dangerous about it, dropped it on the kitchen table on his way past.
He continued through the glass doors, his bare feet making no noise against the warming stones. He sat at the end, letting the sun warm his bare arms and face as he grabbed the newspaper that lay folded on the glass.
By the time Kagome awoke, the sun had already left all her windows, leaving a bare glow around the glass and shadows the corners. There was something heavy about the air, and it seemed to slow her movements as she stood, her now clear blue eyes glancing almost involuntarily into the darkened corners.
"This is stupid, Kagome!" She told herself, shaking her head as she ducked briefly into her closet, pulling on a long white T-shirt.
She walked into the bathroom, brushing her teeth and lazily throwing her hair up. She glanced over at the clock, surprised to find it nearly two.
She stretched lazily, humming softly as she found her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Her fingertips skated along the tabletop, turning her eyes when they brushed paper.
She picked up the envelope, noting her name on the front before carefully sliding her nail under the seal. Pulling out the letter within she fell unceremoniously into one of the chairs, unfolding the thick paper quickly. It was handwritten, but obviously important.
Masaharu Kagome:
I regret to inform you, if you have not already received the tragic news, that your mother, Higurashi Hikari, is dead. As such it is my unhappy duty-
She let the letter slip from her fingers, her eyes tearing as she watched the letter, that horrible, lying, destructive shred of a tree, flutter to her kitchen floor.
"N- no... "
Sesshoumaru returned at four from lunch with his department heads; it had been slightly informative, but hardly worth the three hours he'd granted it. He came in through the back patio, dropping his suit jacket on a chair before he paused, his nose twitching incessantly.
Something was absolutely, horribly wrong .
He quickly entered the living room, but only made it a few steps before shock froze his limbs.
Kagome looked up at him from her knees, her eyes red-rimmed from crying despite her wide smile.
"Hi Sessie-chan! Look at the dollies I made!" She held up the two paper figures she was playing with, random bits of paper and pen scattered around her.
"Kagome?"
"Yes, Sessie-chan?"
This is not right...
"Oh! I almost forgot! Sessie-chan, can I have a kitty? Please? Pleeeaasee?"
Her blue eyes peered up at him, immense pain flashing beneath her returned childhood innocence.
"Kagome, what happened?"
"I'm s'posed to take care of my kitty, Buyo. You 'member him, right? The fat one."
She smiled up at him for a moment before jutting her bottom lip out childishly, her eyes pleading.
"I'll let you be Mr. Smith; he's good looking and everyone loves him, especially Ms. Tracy; but shh! She hasn't told him yet!"
He just looked at her, his eyes darkening. She was acting like a child, but underneath all that cheer and creativity, he could tell she was hurting.
He forced himself to move, slowly at first but then quickly dropped at Kagome's side. From here, he was being beaten by waves of Kagome's emotions.
"Come here," he said softly, taking the paper dolls gently from her hand and setting them down, pulling her into his lap.
She blinked up at him, smiling widely as she wrapped her arms around his middle; "Sessie-chan!"
"Kagome, look at me."
She looked back up at him, her eyes sparkling at his attention,
"Why do you need to take Buyo?"
She frowned, unwrapping one arm to place a finger to her lips as she squinted her eyes and wrinkled her nose in thought.
"Isn't Buyo with your Kaa-san?"
Instantly, her face fell. But there was no emotion, no tears, just her form in his arms.
"No." She said, staring out at the kitchen, "He can't be with Kaa-san anymore."
He hated to bring up something that caused her such great pain, but he wanted her to show some emotion, adult emotion.
"Why can't Buyo stay with Kaa-san?"
"Because Kaa-san is dead."
He still heard little emotion in her voice, there were still no tears.
"Don't you care Kagome?"
She pounded her fist into his chest, shocking him with the force.
"Of course I care you bastard!"
Her body began to shake, her eyes and face shining with tears.
"Of course I fucking care! My Kaa-san is dead! Dead! And I didn't- there was no, no warning!"
She was digging her nails into his chest, ripping through his shirt and skin as she pulled down, crimson sticking to her fingers.
He pulled her close, holding her tightly to his chest, her arms caught between them.
"Shh, Kagome, shh."
"No!" She screamed through gritted teeth, digging her fingernails deeper.
Realization dawned in the back of his mind; she was trying to hurt him. She was trying to make someone else hurt like she was hurting. He kissed her temple softly, pressing his hand gently into the small of her back.
"Stop it," she hissed, trying to push away from him, her palms pressed flat against the scrapes of her nails.
"No, Kagome," He pulled harder, locking his arms around her.
"You stupid, you... stop, now, let me go..." Her voice was fading the closer he pulled her.
"It's okay, Kagome, you have to calm down, shh..."
"Calm down! Calm..." She relaxed into him, sobbing quietly into his shoulder.
"But I didn't get to say goodbye..."
Miroku opened his eyes as he felt Sango turn over in his arms.
"Are you even listening?"
"Of course Sango dearest."
"I asked you if Kagome-kun was okay."
"Oh, of course, she's been home for three days."
Sango sighed, pressing him onto his back and resting her elbows lightly on his chest, staring at him with her deep brown eyes.
"Why won't you or oniisan introduce me to her?"
He froze.
Miroku clapped InuYasha on the back, glancing over InuYasha's shoulder with an almost wicked grin.
"Quite a catch, mate. Has she got a sister?"
InuYasha bopped him on the head, "Hentai."
Miroku smirked, leaning back against a tree; "She reminds me of Sango; we should introduce them. They'd be best friends in a week, guaranteed."
InuYasha tensed, his eyes closing momentarily before he focused on Miroku in an intense way, shaking his head; "No."
Miroku cocked his head at InuYasha; "Huh?"
"I- I don't want them to meet. Ever."
Miroku could tell that InuYasha was deadly serious; "Why?"
InuYasha turned, watching Sango pass the soccer ball brilliantly to a teammate, who scored a goal and roused a small "Yes!" from Sango.
"I don't want her involved in all this; one day, all this is going to blow up; one of us is gonna die, maybe more, family is going to split, rivalries deepened to blood hunts*. I don't want her to get hurt, if I keep her unattached, I can send her off where she's safe. If see gets even one link..."
Miroku rested a hand on his friend's arm; "You can't protect her forever InuYasha. Her, Kagome, eventually one of them is going to get hurt and you're going to kill yourself over it."
"Then that's what happens, cause I'm sure as hell gonna try. Don't introduce them Miroku, don't."
Miroku sighed, his mood darkened by InuYasha's insight; "Okay, Yash."
"Miroku? Miro?"
He shook his head; she was calling him from his memories. And he still had no fucking clue how to answer her.
"I'm fine Sango."
"I know you wouldn't keep secrets from me unless you had to, so I have to guess that Kagome-kun was oniisan's decision."
He was silent for a moment; how much am I allowed to tell her.
"Yes, Sango-chan, it was Yash's decision."
She sighed, her fingers cool against his face as she brushed the hair from his eyes.
"He's protecting me again; he's always trying to protect me."
"He loves you Sango, he just doesn't want you involved."
"I know, just... Sometimes I wish he wouldn't. I want to be as strong as he is, but he's sheltering me. I think I'm strong, but how would I know? He's hiding me from the rest of his life, from everything. He's got this whole other world that he won't let me into, and I want to be there, with him."
He wrapped his arms around Sango, trying to quell the coming argument.
"He can only do what he thinks is best."
"Well, he's wrong."
Sesshoumaru growled as he stood in his doorway, staring down at Sota with hardened eyes and barely chained anger flaming throughout his being.
"My mother just died! Our mother , Masaharu! Mother ! I need to see Kagome! Now!"
He growled down at the raving ningen, the smell of anger weaving an almost visible net around the two of them.
"No."
Sota practically screamed in fury, his fists clenched as a much calmer Kohaku placed a hand on his shoulder.
"This is not over." Sota stated, glaring at him before turning to leave.
"I assure you, it is." He hissed, watching Sota and Kohaku walk back toward their car.
"Yasha!"
He jumped, hitting a bad cord as Sota burst into the room.
"What?"
"That bastard has my sister!"
The anger was rolling off Sota in waves and sickening him, Sota's eyes alive with anger as he through himself violently into a chair.
"Sota, calm down. Who's got Kagome?"
"Sesshoumaru. My mother, our mother is dead and he won't let me see her, period. She can't handle this, she needs me!"
He set his guitar down next to him, unplugging it and tossing the cord back toward the amp.
"Sota, what happened?"
"I went to see Kagome, and he stood in the doorway and wouldn't let me in, and he wouldn't even tell her I was there."
He stood, a slight anger beginning to burn in his veins.
"Let's go, Sota."
"Are we gonna go get Kagome, Yash?"
I'm going to go fight for her...
"Yeah, we are."
Kagome curled up in Sesshoumaru's arms, running her fingers lightly over the red stains in his white shirt, eight lines down his chest.
"Why were you so angry?" She asked softly, sniffling as she tried to hold back her tears.
"It was nothing, Kagome, nothing to worry ab-" His lips were suddenly gone from her mark, the waves of pleasure instantly replaced by inexplicable despair.
"I'll be right back, Kagome," he said softly, setting her gently on the bed before walking quickly from the room.
Sesshoumaru threw open the door, already snarling in anger and disgust.
"Go away."
"Sesshoumaru, don't do this. I don't want to have to fight you. Let Sota in."
He tensed, growling; "Do not presume to give me orders."
"You can't keep her in there away from all that's left of her family!" InuYasha yelled, his eyes seeming to swirl with unrest.
"I can and I am."
"You're only making it worse, Sesshoumaru, you can't use her mark forever. The longer you put it off, the more it's going to hurt her. And I won't let you, no matter what it takes."
He growled, glaring at the both of them. Now was not a time for a fight, especially with InuYasha in such a state. But InuYasha wasn't going anywhere near Kagome, he wasn't even entering his house with Kagome in such a vulnerable state. Sota... Sota was family, not a threat, not much of one.
"Sota."
"What, gonna tell me to go away again?"
"Go. She's upstairs, first door to the right."
Sota brushed by him quickly, and he could hear sneakers pounding quickly through the front hall and up the stairs, slowing as they met carpet.
InuYasha stepped forward, and he growled, placing his arm in InuYasha's way.
"You, are staying here."
InuYasha growled softly, snarling at him for a moment before leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed and his ears fully alert.
For a half an hour, Sesshoumaru never relaxed. His nose was on full alert, his ears focused solely on the small noises coming from that room. He heard Kagome's sobs often, but little other than that besides small whispers.
Sota emerged, his eyes slightly red around the edges and his red baseball cap pulled low over his face.
"Let's go, Yash."
He removed his arm, allowing Sota out onto the front step. InuYasha stood away from the wall, following Sota down the steps without a word. A small noise caught his attention, and he looked up to find Kagome leaning out the window, her hair blown about in the breeze for a moment before she disappeared back into their bedroom.
InuYasha looked back over his shoulder, pausing in his steps as he watched the window. Every instinct he had was quivering, telling him to run up to Kagome and comfort her; it was his job. But instead, he broke her gaze, continuing down the drive, his hands shoved in his pockets and his fists clenched; Sesshoumaru was such a jackass.
He heard Sota mutter a gruff thanks, his voice scratchy and deep. Sesshoumaru snorted.
Such a jackass...
Kagome sat on the couch, looking almost longingly out the window. There'd been three people she wanted to see after getting the news of her mother's death. And it'd been a week and she'd only seen two of them.
"Kagome?"
She sighed, but a small smile graced her lips.
"Sessho."
He circled the couch, sitting down next to her and pulling her into his lap. She rested her head against his chest, her arms circling around his middle as he pulled her closer.
"You're sad," he said softly, purring.
"My mother just died, of-"
"No, it's something else."
She was quiet for a moment. If I ask...
"Um, I - I..."
He unwrapped one of his arms, placing a finger on her chin and raising her face until their eyes met.
"What is it, Kagome?"
"I - I would, um, I wanted to see InuYasha; if - if thats oka-y... with..."
He kissed her softly, cutting off her sentence and letting her melt into him, her fingers gripping his shirt lightly.
Sesshoumaru leaned forward, pressing her back into the couch, his tongue gently running along her lips before slipping into her mouth. She mumbled worthlessly when he pulled away slowly, searching her momentarily with his soft golden gaze.
No," he whispered, rising slowly before walking back into the kitchen.
Kagome lay on the couch, warm and tingling as she closed her eyes. Right now, all she could remember was the perfect tenderness behind that kiss. She rolled onto her side, curling up in the summer sunshine, and drifted off to sleep.
Sesshoumaru leaned back in his chair, two fingers resting on his lips; Kagome's scent still clinging to them delicately.
"... I wanted to see InuYasha..."
She loved him, he was positive of that. There had been nothing sexual in that kiss for her, but she had wanted more all the same. She loved him, so much that the threat of him leaving left her sobbing on the floor for hours. But she still wanted to see InuYasha.
There was nothing romantic between the two of them, his nose told him that; they weren't having an affair. But there was definitely something there. And he wasn't sure if he could agree to whatever it was.
He sat there, his eyes wandering out to watch the sun sink slowly below the horizon as he thought. He was so torn. Never in his life had he been so unsure about something. Part of him said there was nothing wrong with it; they were acting like family and technically they were. Another part of him saw InuYasha as a threat, as someone that Kagome could never be around, someone he had to keep her away from.
At dark, he heard Kagome get up.
Kagome yawned, stretching as she tiptoed into the kitchen, feeling her way along the walls.
"Sessho?" She asked, seeing his form in one of the chairs.
"Go."
"What; to our bedr-"
"No, go to InuYasha. You have an hour; if you aren't back in an hour, I'll come get you, and you won't like it."
She stood there for a moment, watching him.
"Your clock has started, go."
"A- arigatou..." She whispered, walking backwards into the living room, turning and slipping into a pair of flip-flops.
She closed the front door, turning instantly to Kouga.
"I need a car. Right. Now."
Kouga nodded, pressing a small button on his radio; "Car 3."
A moment later, she was taking the keys from a tall youkai and speeding off toward InuYasha's apartment.
~
Kagome dashed up the stairs, her vision already beginning to blur with tears. She hadn't been able to curl up in his arms for a year, and now that she finally could she was going to let everything out.
She was there, his door, just as she'd remembered it. She pulled out her keys with shaking hands, pulling the silver key from among the rest, sliding it into the lock and letting a tear slip out when it clicked quietly. She paused for a moment, staring at the deep gray numbers on the door. Then she opened it slowly.
"Inu-chan! Sessho said I could... come..."
InuYasha looked up at her, a hand instantly springing to the back of his neck as his eyes grew wide.
"K- Kagome, hey..."
The woman underneath him pressed her hands against InuYasha's bare chest.
"Inu Baby, where's my shirt?"
InuYasha climbed off the woman, tossing her his beater. She pulled it on over her low cut red bra, sitting on the arm of the couch as InuYasha scrambled back into the room, pulling on a black T-shirt.
She was in shock, leaning back against the door with her eyes closed. This shouldn't hurt as much as it does...
"Um, Kag, this is Kikyo, Shikkon Kikyo."
She opened her eyes to meet a pair of cold brown ones, the cruel intensity in them holding her back against the cool metal of the door. The woman, Kikyo, was leaning against InuYasha, her hands set delicately in her lap.
Surprise captured her mind, momentarily numbing the pain she felt at seeing that woman, all thoughts of curling up in InuYasha's comforting embrace shattered by the cold glare of Shikkon Kikyo.
She looks just like me...
--
Author's Note: That wasn't quite so bad, ne? If you thought it was, I'm sorry, cause it's only gonna get worse. There was a star up there, next to blood hunts.
- By CherryBlossomMiko
- -
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, and I hope that is clear enough because I am very attached to the lint in my pockets, my stuffed animals, and half of my favorite pen.
Summary: Kagome's feudal, lust-based relationship with Sesshoumaru is pushing her emotions every which way, confusing her and driving her insane. There's only one person in the world who can make everything crystal clear; her sanity. But now Kagome's feelings for him are what's causing her controversy; can she figure it out before she loses them both?
Pairings: Sesshoumaru/Kagome (beginning), really an InuYasha/Kagome
Rating: R; for language, adult themes, and adult situations.
Author's Note: Welcome to the first of the companion chapters. I am warning you that we are fully back into the angst and other unhappiness, for nearly the rest of the story.
Warning: angst
- -
:: Chapter Three: Crash ::
- -
His brown eyes flashed in the setting sun as he looked up at their window, her emotional and heavenly scent tingling in his nose. He could hear her crying if he twitched his ears in their direction, but just faintly.
He was waiting; he knew it was coming. The Masaharu family had been split before Kagome, now they were even more divided. And that was his ally. They'd fight, one would be dead and the other so injured movement would be a challenge; and then he'd take her.
He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he hardly noticed the small youkai that bounded up the driveway, a sealed white envelope clutched in his claws.
"Sir?"
He looked down, his eyebrows rising. Few youkai dared set foot on Masaharu ground, the family legacy more than enough to scare away even the bravest of youkai from InuTashio's even greater son, Masaharu Sesshoumaru.
"This is the house of Masaharu Sesshoumaru, correct?"
He nodded, tensing in anticipation of something crazy from the miniature youkai.
"Don't get all worked up, I've just got a very important letter for a Miss Masaharu Kagome."
The youkai held out the letter, which he took, sniffing it as the small youkai took off. He detected nothing unusual or dangerous about the letter, so he pressed a small button behind him and slid the letter into the slot.
The occupants of the upstairs room gave no sign that they had heard the small buzzer.
Sesshoumaru tucked the sheets around Kagome, standing over her for a moment as she rolled into a comfortable position, curling into a small ball in the middle of the bed. He sighed softly, turning to walk into his closet. He changed his shirt, not bothering to change his jeans. He left, taking quick steps down the hallway, the stairs at the same brisk pace; his standard. Halfway down, he stopped suddenly, mid-step, an unfamiliar scent twirling in the air as he set his foot down on the cool marble.
He followed the scent to the mail basket, which sat in the shadows behind an end table, a small silver rectangle, a slot, the only indication of its existence. He leaned over the wooden table, one palm flat against the stone top. One pristine white envelope sat innocently in the bottom of the wicker basket, face down, unsettling the air around it with its foreign and unwelcome scent.
He reached down, grasping the letter between two claws. The front bore no address, just "Masaharu Kagome" in ornate script, the return address posted to one of several downtown law firms. He sniffed it briefly, and, finding nothing dangerous about it, dropped it on the kitchen table on his way past.
He continued through the glass doors, his bare feet making no noise against the warming stones. He sat at the end, letting the sun warm his bare arms and face as he grabbed the newspaper that lay folded on the glass.
By the time Kagome awoke, the sun had already left all her windows, leaving a bare glow around the glass and shadows the corners. There was something heavy about the air, and it seemed to slow her movements as she stood, her now clear blue eyes glancing almost involuntarily into the darkened corners.
"This is stupid, Kagome!" She told herself, shaking her head as she ducked briefly into her closet, pulling on a long white T-shirt.
She walked into the bathroom, brushing her teeth and lazily throwing her hair up. She glanced over at the clock, surprised to find it nearly two.
She stretched lazily, humming softly as she found her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Her fingertips skated along the tabletop, turning her eyes when they brushed paper.
She picked up the envelope, noting her name on the front before carefully sliding her nail under the seal. Pulling out the letter within she fell unceremoniously into one of the chairs, unfolding the thick paper quickly. It was handwritten, but obviously important.
Masaharu Kagome:
I regret to inform you, if you have not already received the tragic news, that your mother, Higurashi Hikari, is dead. As such it is my unhappy duty-
She let the letter slip from her fingers, her eyes tearing as she watched the letter, that horrible, lying, destructive shred of a tree, flutter to her kitchen floor.
"N- no... "
Sesshoumaru returned at four from lunch with his department heads; it had been slightly informative, but hardly worth the three hours he'd granted it. He came in through the back patio, dropping his suit jacket on a chair before he paused, his nose twitching incessantly.
Something was absolutely, horribly wrong .
He quickly entered the living room, but only made it a few steps before shock froze his limbs.
Kagome looked up at him from her knees, her eyes red-rimmed from crying despite her wide smile.
"Hi Sessie-chan! Look at the dollies I made!" She held up the two paper figures she was playing with, random bits of paper and pen scattered around her.
"Kagome?"
"Yes, Sessie-chan?"
This is not right...
"Oh! I almost forgot! Sessie-chan, can I have a kitty? Please? Pleeeaasee?"
Her blue eyes peered up at him, immense pain flashing beneath her returned childhood innocence.
"Kagome, what happened?"
"I'm s'posed to take care of my kitty, Buyo. You 'member him, right? The fat one."
She smiled up at him for a moment before jutting her bottom lip out childishly, her eyes pleading.
"I'll let you be Mr. Smith; he's good looking and everyone loves him, especially Ms. Tracy; but shh! She hasn't told him yet!"
He just looked at her, his eyes darkening. She was acting like a child, but underneath all that cheer and creativity, he could tell she was hurting.
He forced himself to move, slowly at first but then quickly dropped at Kagome's side. From here, he was being beaten by waves of Kagome's emotions.
"Come here," he said softly, taking the paper dolls gently from her hand and setting them down, pulling her into his lap.
She blinked up at him, smiling widely as she wrapped her arms around his middle; "Sessie-chan!"
"Kagome, look at me."
She looked back up at him, her eyes sparkling at his attention,
"Why do you need to take Buyo?"
She frowned, unwrapping one arm to place a finger to her lips as she squinted her eyes and wrinkled her nose in thought.
"Isn't Buyo with your Kaa-san?"
Instantly, her face fell. But there was no emotion, no tears, just her form in his arms.
"No." She said, staring out at the kitchen, "He can't be with Kaa-san anymore."
He hated to bring up something that caused her such great pain, but he wanted her to show some emotion, adult emotion.
"Why can't Buyo stay with Kaa-san?"
"Because Kaa-san is dead."
He still heard little emotion in her voice, there were still no tears.
"Don't you care Kagome?"
She pounded her fist into his chest, shocking him with the force.
"Of course I care you bastard!"
Her body began to shake, her eyes and face shining with tears.
"Of course I fucking care! My Kaa-san is dead! Dead! And I didn't- there was no, no warning!"
She was digging her nails into his chest, ripping through his shirt and skin as she pulled down, crimson sticking to her fingers.
He pulled her close, holding her tightly to his chest, her arms caught between them.
"Shh, Kagome, shh."
"No!" She screamed through gritted teeth, digging her fingernails deeper.
Realization dawned in the back of his mind; she was trying to hurt him. She was trying to make someone else hurt like she was hurting. He kissed her temple softly, pressing his hand gently into the small of her back.
"Stop it," she hissed, trying to push away from him, her palms pressed flat against the scrapes of her nails.
"No, Kagome," He pulled harder, locking his arms around her.
"You stupid, you... stop, now, let me go..." Her voice was fading the closer he pulled her.
"It's okay, Kagome, you have to calm down, shh..."
"Calm down! Calm..." She relaxed into him, sobbing quietly into his shoulder.
"But I didn't get to say goodbye..."
Miroku opened his eyes as he felt Sango turn over in his arms.
"Are you even listening?"
"Of course Sango dearest."
"I asked you if Kagome-kun was okay."
"Oh, of course, she's been home for three days."
Sango sighed, pressing him onto his back and resting her elbows lightly on his chest, staring at him with her deep brown eyes.
"Why won't you or oniisan introduce me to her?"
He froze.
Miroku clapped InuYasha on the back, glancing over InuYasha's shoulder with an almost wicked grin.
"Quite a catch, mate. Has she got a sister?"
InuYasha bopped him on the head, "Hentai."
Miroku smirked, leaning back against a tree; "She reminds me of Sango; we should introduce them. They'd be best friends in a week, guaranteed."
InuYasha tensed, his eyes closing momentarily before he focused on Miroku in an intense way, shaking his head; "No."
Miroku cocked his head at InuYasha; "Huh?"
"I- I don't want them to meet. Ever."
Miroku could tell that InuYasha was deadly serious; "Why?"
InuYasha turned, watching Sango pass the soccer ball brilliantly to a teammate, who scored a goal and roused a small "Yes!" from Sango.
"I don't want her involved in all this; one day, all this is going to blow up; one of us is gonna die, maybe more, family is going to split, rivalries deepened to blood hunts*. I don't want her to get hurt, if I keep her unattached, I can send her off where she's safe. If see gets even one link..."
Miroku rested a hand on his friend's arm; "You can't protect her forever InuYasha. Her, Kagome, eventually one of them is going to get hurt and you're going to kill yourself over it."
"Then that's what happens, cause I'm sure as hell gonna try. Don't introduce them Miroku, don't."
Miroku sighed, his mood darkened by InuYasha's insight; "Okay, Yash."
"Miroku? Miro?"
He shook his head; she was calling him from his memories. And he still had no fucking clue how to answer her.
"I'm fine Sango."
"I know you wouldn't keep secrets from me unless you had to, so I have to guess that Kagome-kun was oniisan's decision."
He was silent for a moment; how much am I allowed to tell her.
"Yes, Sango-chan, it was Yash's decision."
She sighed, her fingers cool against his face as she brushed the hair from his eyes.
"He's protecting me again; he's always trying to protect me."
"He loves you Sango, he just doesn't want you involved."
"I know, just... Sometimes I wish he wouldn't. I want to be as strong as he is, but he's sheltering me. I think I'm strong, but how would I know? He's hiding me from the rest of his life, from everything. He's got this whole other world that he won't let me into, and I want to be there, with him."
He wrapped his arms around Sango, trying to quell the coming argument.
"He can only do what he thinks is best."
"Well, he's wrong."
Sesshoumaru growled as he stood in his doorway, staring down at Sota with hardened eyes and barely chained anger flaming throughout his being.
"My mother just died! Our mother , Masaharu! Mother ! I need to see Kagome! Now!"
He growled down at the raving ningen, the smell of anger weaving an almost visible net around the two of them.
"No."
Sota practically screamed in fury, his fists clenched as a much calmer Kohaku placed a hand on his shoulder.
"This is not over." Sota stated, glaring at him before turning to leave.
"I assure you, it is." He hissed, watching Sota and Kohaku walk back toward their car.
"Yasha!"
He jumped, hitting a bad cord as Sota burst into the room.
"What?"
"That bastard has my sister!"
The anger was rolling off Sota in waves and sickening him, Sota's eyes alive with anger as he through himself violently into a chair.
"Sota, calm down. Who's got Kagome?"
"Sesshoumaru. My mother, our mother is dead and he won't let me see her, period. She can't handle this, she needs me!"
He set his guitar down next to him, unplugging it and tossing the cord back toward the amp.
"Sota, what happened?"
"I went to see Kagome, and he stood in the doorway and wouldn't let me in, and he wouldn't even tell her I was there."
He stood, a slight anger beginning to burn in his veins.
"Let's go, Sota."
"Are we gonna go get Kagome, Yash?"
I'm going to go fight for her...
"Yeah, we are."
Kagome curled up in Sesshoumaru's arms, running her fingers lightly over the red stains in his white shirt, eight lines down his chest.
"Why were you so angry?" She asked softly, sniffling as she tried to hold back her tears.
"It was nothing, Kagome, nothing to worry ab-" His lips were suddenly gone from her mark, the waves of pleasure instantly replaced by inexplicable despair.
"I'll be right back, Kagome," he said softly, setting her gently on the bed before walking quickly from the room.
Sesshoumaru threw open the door, already snarling in anger and disgust.
"Go away."
"Sesshoumaru, don't do this. I don't want to have to fight you. Let Sota in."
He tensed, growling; "Do not presume to give me orders."
"You can't keep her in there away from all that's left of her family!" InuYasha yelled, his eyes seeming to swirl with unrest.
"I can and I am."
"You're only making it worse, Sesshoumaru, you can't use her mark forever. The longer you put it off, the more it's going to hurt her. And I won't let you, no matter what it takes."
He growled, glaring at the both of them. Now was not a time for a fight, especially with InuYasha in such a state. But InuYasha wasn't going anywhere near Kagome, he wasn't even entering his house with Kagome in such a vulnerable state. Sota... Sota was family, not a threat, not much of one.
"Sota."
"What, gonna tell me to go away again?"
"Go. She's upstairs, first door to the right."
Sota brushed by him quickly, and he could hear sneakers pounding quickly through the front hall and up the stairs, slowing as they met carpet.
InuYasha stepped forward, and he growled, placing his arm in InuYasha's way.
"You, are staying here."
InuYasha growled softly, snarling at him for a moment before leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed and his ears fully alert.
For a half an hour, Sesshoumaru never relaxed. His nose was on full alert, his ears focused solely on the small noises coming from that room. He heard Kagome's sobs often, but little other than that besides small whispers.
Sota emerged, his eyes slightly red around the edges and his red baseball cap pulled low over his face.
"Let's go, Yash."
He removed his arm, allowing Sota out onto the front step. InuYasha stood away from the wall, following Sota down the steps without a word. A small noise caught his attention, and he looked up to find Kagome leaning out the window, her hair blown about in the breeze for a moment before she disappeared back into their bedroom.
InuYasha looked back over his shoulder, pausing in his steps as he watched the window. Every instinct he had was quivering, telling him to run up to Kagome and comfort her; it was his job. But instead, he broke her gaze, continuing down the drive, his hands shoved in his pockets and his fists clenched; Sesshoumaru was such a jackass.
He heard Sota mutter a gruff thanks, his voice scratchy and deep. Sesshoumaru snorted.
Such a jackass...
Kagome sat on the couch, looking almost longingly out the window. There'd been three people she wanted to see after getting the news of her mother's death. And it'd been a week and she'd only seen two of them.
"Kagome?"
She sighed, but a small smile graced her lips.
"Sessho."
He circled the couch, sitting down next to her and pulling her into his lap. She rested her head against his chest, her arms circling around his middle as he pulled her closer.
"You're sad," he said softly, purring.
"My mother just died, of-"
"No, it's something else."
She was quiet for a moment. If I ask...
"Um, I - I..."
He unwrapped one of his arms, placing a finger on her chin and raising her face until their eyes met.
"What is it, Kagome?"
"I - I would, um, I wanted to see InuYasha; if - if thats oka-y... with..."
He kissed her softly, cutting off her sentence and letting her melt into him, her fingers gripping his shirt lightly.
Sesshoumaru leaned forward, pressing her back into the couch, his tongue gently running along her lips before slipping into her mouth. She mumbled worthlessly when he pulled away slowly, searching her momentarily with his soft golden gaze.
No," he whispered, rising slowly before walking back into the kitchen.
Kagome lay on the couch, warm and tingling as she closed her eyes. Right now, all she could remember was the perfect tenderness behind that kiss. She rolled onto her side, curling up in the summer sunshine, and drifted off to sleep.
Sesshoumaru leaned back in his chair, two fingers resting on his lips; Kagome's scent still clinging to them delicately.
"... I wanted to see InuYasha..."
She loved him, he was positive of that. There had been nothing sexual in that kiss for her, but she had wanted more all the same. She loved him, so much that the threat of him leaving left her sobbing on the floor for hours. But she still wanted to see InuYasha.
There was nothing romantic between the two of them, his nose told him that; they weren't having an affair. But there was definitely something there. And he wasn't sure if he could agree to whatever it was.
He sat there, his eyes wandering out to watch the sun sink slowly below the horizon as he thought. He was so torn. Never in his life had he been so unsure about something. Part of him said there was nothing wrong with it; they were acting like family and technically they were. Another part of him saw InuYasha as a threat, as someone that Kagome could never be around, someone he had to keep her away from.
At dark, he heard Kagome get up.
Kagome yawned, stretching as she tiptoed into the kitchen, feeling her way along the walls.
"Sessho?" She asked, seeing his form in one of the chairs.
"Go."
"What; to our bedr-"
"No, go to InuYasha. You have an hour; if you aren't back in an hour, I'll come get you, and you won't like it."
She stood there for a moment, watching him.
"Your clock has started, go."
"A- arigatou..." She whispered, walking backwards into the living room, turning and slipping into a pair of flip-flops.
She closed the front door, turning instantly to Kouga.
"I need a car. Right. Now."
Kouga nodded, pressing a small button on his radio; "Car 3."
A moment later, she was taking the keys from a tall youkai and speeding off toward InuYasha's apartment.
~
Kagome dashed up the stairs, her vision already beginning to blur with tears. She hadn't been able to curl up in his arms for a year, and now that she finally could she was going to let everything out.
She was there, his door, just as she'd remembered it. She pulled out her keys with shaking hands, pulling the silver key from among the rest, sliding it into the lock and letting a tear slip out when it clicked quietly. She paused for a moment, staring at the deep gray numbers on the door. Then she opened it slowly.
"Inu-chan! Sessho said I could... come..."
InuYasha looked up at her, a hand instantly springing to the back of his neck as his eyes grew wide.
"K- Kagome, hey..."
The woman underneath him pressed her hands against InuYasha's bare chest.
"Inu Baby, where's my shirt?"
InuYasha climbed off the woman, tossing her his beater. She pulled it on over her low cut red bra, sitting on the arm of the couch as InuYasha scrambled back into the room, pulling on a black T-shirt.
She was in shock, leaning back against the door with her eyes closed. This shouldn't hurt as much as it does...
"Um, Kag, this is Kikyo, Shikkon Kikyo."
She opened her eyes to meet a pair of cold brown ones, the cruel intensity in them holding her back against the cool metal of the door. The woman, Kikyo, was leaning against InuYasha, her hands set delicately in her lap.
Surprise captured her mind, momentarily numbing the pain she felt at seeing that woman, all thoughts of curling up in InuYasha's comforting embrace shattered by the cold glare of Shikkon Kikyo.
She looks just like me...
--
Author's Note: That wasn't quite so bad, ne? If you thought it was, I'm sorry, cause it's only gonna get worse. There was a star up there, next to blood hunts.