InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ In the Arms of My Sanity ❯ Burn ( Chapter 5 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: CherryBlossomMiko 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.29.2004 | Updated On: 07.29.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 5.1K | Visits: 501 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.29.2004 | Updated On: 07.29.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 5.1K | Visits: 501 | Status: Completed
In the Arms of My Sanity...
~By CherryBlossomMiko
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Disclaimer: I d-d- dont own InuYasha. *Clutches tightly to the hand of her psychiatrist* Was that good?
Summary: Kagome's feudal, lust-based relationship with Sesshoumaru is pushing her emotions every which way, confusing her and driving her insane. There's only one person in the world who can make everything crystal clear; her sanity. But now Kagome's feelings for him are what's causing her controversy; can she figure it out before she loses them both?
Pairings: Sesshoumaru/Kagome (beginning), really an InuYasha/Kagome
Rating: R; for language, adult themes, and adult situations.
Author's Note: Welcome to the second of the companion chapters! This one may be a bit longer than the other one, and it's definitely going to include a lot of flashbacks. This chapter is gonna be really angsty, just a warning, I mean, note the title.
Warning: This chapter is going to deal with some sensitive issues, and it may offend and/or upset certain people. I apologize in advance; this story is meant to be powerful, and it is rated R, and if you can't take it, I'm sorry. I am not endorsing or suggesting any sort of behavior like this, in fact I find most of it wrong. Sesshoumaru and Kagome are meant to have a dysfunctional relationship. But it is not meant to offend people. If it offends you, and is something that offends a certain culture or a larger body, please alert me immediately and it will be changed or removed. Thank you - Emmy.
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:: Chapter Four: Burn ::
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"Kag, you okay?"
InuYasha watched the slow glazing over of Kagome's eyes, the tenseness in her shoulders that had suddenly appeared. Her blue orbs were shimmering with unshed tears, her bottom lip quivering with the effort of holding them in.
"I... I'm fine, Inu. Sorry to, um, interrupt, I'll... I'll see you later, o-okay?"
Kagome turned quickly, her hand already turning the doorknob in her eagerness to leave. He ran to her, catching her arm as it tried to disappear into the stairwell.
"Inu, no, y- you go back with Kikyo, I- I didn't mean to..."
"No, Kag, come here."
"I- I'm sorry, I'm leaving, just let me go."
She was yanking her arm, trying to break his grasp. He held tighter, pulling her gently back inside.
"Inu..."
Kagome's eyes were squeezed shut, tears still escaping as she tried to break away from him. Something was very wrong, and he was going to fix it.
"Shh, Kawaii, come here."
"Don't call me that!" She yelled suddenly, yanking as she opened her eyes.
He was momentarily stunned by the intense pain in her eyes as she looked at him.
"Let me go!" She yelled, yanking again.
In his shock, her arm slipped free from him and she turned, dashing for the stairs, her shoes and her yells still echoing in the stairwell.
"Wait!" He shouted suddenly, his limbs properly moving again as he ran from the room, vaulting the stairs to catch her on the second story.
He pulled her into his arms, but she was still fighting, still beating at him and trying to hold back her tears. He jumped back to his floor, closing the door and locking it behind him. But in letting one arm leave Kagome's form she wiggled free, trying to get behind him to the door.
He stood in front of her, his arms spread wide enough to keep Kagome from escape. She rushed at him, and he stepped into it, catching her again as she smacked him, hard, leaving his cheek burning as she shoved and punched at him, the scent of her blood reaching his nose and disturbing him greatly.
He stopped being gentle, locking his arms as tightly as he could around her and taking her feet from the floor as she kicked at him.
"Let me go, let me go, let me go..."
He moved quickly, as quickly as he could with Kagome kicking and punching at him. He opened the door to his bedroom, tossing her lightly to the bed before he closed the door, holding the knob in one hand as Kagome began to yank on the other end.
"Kikyo, I'm sorry about this, could you, um, come back later? Like tomorrow?"
Kikyo's slightly confused and sad expression collapsed.
"What?"
He gave her an almost pained look, a helpless look.
"I have to... This is... She's my brother's wife and he's not always... please Kikyo, just... Leave."
She stood, trying to keep her gentle grace and calm demeanor in place above her growing anger.
"But, Inu Baby, what about-"
"Kikyo, this is important. Leave."
Her jaw was clenched in effort, her anger boil just under the surface. But she contained it, walking forward slowly to him, standing on his tiptoes to kiss him. He kissed her back for a moment, then pushed her gently away.
"Go."
"NO! I have to go!" Kagome had managed to push the door slightly open, her shouts entering the room along one of her hands through the bit of open space.
"I only had an hour! I have to go."
InuYasha turned and pushed her harder, his arm straining to keep the door closed.
"Leave."
She turned, her face instantly darkening to the deep hate she was feeling. There was no other girl allowed to take priority over her, not with any of the men she was with, especially not InuYasha. She shut the door behind her, taking the steps with purpose as she pushed a lock of hair back from her face, wrapping the rest of it back into a neat ponytail. This would not be allowed again...
InuYasha took a deep breath, readied himself, and shoved Kagome back as he pulled himself through the door. He slammed the door, locking it.
"Kag."
"No, I really have to go. I only had an hour, and I'm going to be late. I don't want him angry. I have to go, I have to go, I have to go..."
He took a step forward, pulling her into a tight hug, feeling her arms around his neck. She seemed momentarily helpless, unable to support her own weight as she held on to him, her breathing the only sound in the room.
"Kag, what's wrong?"
She shook her head slightly, pressing close to him for a moment before she pulled herself away, as far as he'd let her.
"I really have to go, Inu, I have to."
She seemed properly in control of herself now, but there was something detached and unemotional about her.
"I'm not letting you go."
She clenched her jaw for a moment, unnaturally still in his arms.
"Please, Inu."
"No."
She let out a small noise of frustration, sliding out of his arms and toward the door.
He moved in her path, eyeing her with concern; "No Kagome, no."
She watched him for a moment, her gaze lost, everything about her suggesting defeat. She turned, her hands rising to her face, and he heard her draw in a shaky breath, and he could hear the coming sob locked away in it. She had never, to his knowledge, tried so hard not to cry in front of him.
He took a step forward, the scent of salt twirling into the air around her.
"Kagome, just talk to me..." He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder.
Kagome jerked away from him, stumbling forward and falling onto his bed. She propped her face up on her hands, her elbows in his black sheets.
"Kagome..."
"Go away, if you aren't going to let me leave, go away."
He reached out for her, but stopped, his hand a few inches from her back. Never, in all his years of knowing Kagome, had she given up so quickly on what she wanted. Something was wrong, and she wasn't leaving until she had talked to him, let him reassure her. Because that was how things were. She was upset, she came to him, he figured it out, calmed her down, let her cry, and then she could go back, then she was strong enough to go back. Kagome was a strong person, but there were a few things she would never be able to handle. And that's where he came in.
He turned, unlocking the door with a click. He was halfway through the door, and he stood there, watching her back.
"Go..."
"We're going to talk about this, sooner or later."
"No we're not. Go."
"You came because you needed to talk. And we will."
"Go."
He shut the door and leaned against it, his arms crossed. It was only a moment before she broke out in shuttering, almost unearthly sobs.
Kagome hugged InuYasha's pillow close, trying hard to calm herself. This was all so irrational, so unnecessary. She and InuYasha were family, and he had always had his sex toys, so this was bound to happen. But it hurt, too much, far too much. And she didn't know why.
Part of her wondered why she was sitting here, when the one person who could always comfort her was sitting, waiting, in the next room. Another part felt almost violated, as if after walking in on him and Kikyo she wasn't allowed to curl up with him anymore. She turned looking at the glowing outline of the door in the dark room, the soft light calling to her.
"Inu..."
She heard his voice, low and rising and falling at a natural pace, though she could not discern the words. That, right out there, was where she belonged right now.
She crawled off his bed, quickly covering the steps to his door, turning the knob and pushing it open.
"Inu-chan, I..."
Two men were looking at her, not just one. Two pairs of amber eyes were focused on her, directly on her. One with lost certainty, the other with an undercurrent of anger.
"I said one hour Kagome, and I meant every word."
She was shattered. Not only had she been denied the comfort of InuYasha, Sesshoumaru was certainly not going to let her off.
"I- I'm sorry, I tried, and then, I wanted, but..." She was stumbling over her words, unwilling to implicate InuYasha, but trying to find the explanation he would demand now or later.
"It was my fault," InuYasha voiced.
Kagome surged forward, stopping after only a step when Sesshoumaru glared at her, his eyebrows lowered in anger.
"I saw that she was upset and I told her she wasn't leaving until we talked. She kept telling me she had to go, but I locked her in."
Shock was holding her in place. InuYasha was sacrificing himself, for her, and suddenly, she didn't want him to.
Sesshoumaru growled, his claws extending as crimson tried to force its way into his golden eyes.
"You can't blame him," Kagome managed finally, her eyes growing cold.
"And why not?" Sesshoumaru hissed, his gaze never leaving InuYasha.
"Because we both know I do as I please, and if I had really wanted to leave I would have. I can handle myself, we all know that."
InuYasha seemed to tense, and turned to meet her eyes.
InuYasha could barely believe the cold and almost malevolent look in Kagome's eyes. They clearly said: "I don't need your help, piss off." And he couldn't understand what had brought this on. But he knew her, and she wasn't acting in on his behalf, she really didn't want him to help.
Sesshoumaru took a few steps toward Kagome, the emotions floating on her scent most unnatural for her. He placed a finger on her chin, drawing her gaze from InuYasha to himself. For a moment, her gaze was still cold and hard-edged, very foreign in Kagome's blue eyes. After a moment her gaze softened to something more like her, angry and flustered, but not overly hostile. She wasn't exactly lying, he knew, but it didn't all fit. He watched her for a moment, almost waiting for her to break.
But she didn't, and he released her face and grabbed her wrist, his claws intentionally pricking into her skin. She hissed softly, clenching her fists.
"I'm not positive what happened here, but it's not going to happen again."
He pulled Kagome toward the door, ignoring the small sounds of pain as his claws snagged against her skin.
InuYasha stared at the open door, listening to their footsteps fading from echoes, as the front door of the apartment building slammed shut. He fell backwards onto the couch, Kagome's eyes burned into his brain; the crisp hostility, almost hatred, seeming to taunt him from her blue gaze, nothing fragile or vulnerable about her in that moment.
"What the fuck, Kagome? What happened to you?"
Sesshoumaru threw Kagome down onto the bed, and she simply lay there on her back, staring up at the ceiling. There was only a tinge of fear in her scent, and that enraged him; if the bitch knew anything, she'd be fucking terrified.
"Kagome," he growled, the fear rising in her scent the moment he spoke her name.
"Y- yes, Sesshoumaru-sama?"
"If you are going to take responsibility, you are going to take the punishment."
She shook for a moment, her mouth slightly open before she took control of herself, "Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama."
She smelled afraid, but she smelled like InuYasha. He growled again, causing her to flinch.
"Go take a shower, now; you reek of the half breed."
She moved instantly, avoiding his eyes. She closed the door behind her, and he instantly heard the sound of running water. She was crying softly, but nothing like she was going to when he was done. He should have broken* her a long time ago, but he'd let her human status cloud his reasoning.
Sesshoumaru watched Kagome dance with her surrogate father, the rest of the room in revered silence. He knew what tonight meant to her, and he also knew that his instincts told him to ruin it for her if he was to have control. Break her when she's highest, all demons did it to their mates, it was the only way to ensure control.
But she was human, and that presented other factors, and he knew that. If he broke her tonight, she may never recover from it. She would be an empty shell, and that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted the strong woman he'd chosen to be his mate, but he wanted her submissive as well. With a demoness, this would have been terribly simple; but she was not a demoness and she was, this was, not simple.
He took a sip of his wine, watching her twirl, smiling in the man's arms. He wanted her to be happy, because that was the way he liked her, that was the way in which she had fire. And he was mating her for her fire, for her strength; both qualities he required. And if breaking her tonight ruined that, he would be without a strong mate and without any other options.
He let out a silent sigh, resigning himself to his decision. No, he would not break her tonight. He would let her adjust, he would let her have her perfect wedding and fairy tale honeymoon, and then he would let her settle in. After a few months, he would break her, and then he would have her, her fire and strength intact.
Kagome emerged from the bathroom, and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust. She wore a royal blue robe that ended just above mid-thigh, her hands hidden in the sleeves. Her damp hair curled slightly around her, leaving small wet drops along her robe. The bathroom light lit her from, blurring the edges of her form. Her scent wafted across the room to him, clean to her base, but still heavy laden with fear.
She looked up at him, seeming very vulnerable. But regardless, he wasn't going to back down. She needed to be broken, and he had put it off for far too long.
"Get dressed; I wouldn't wear anything you like."
Kagome stood numbly in the doorway, the night's event finally seeming to penetrate as she tried to push them away, trying to shut down her emotions before they rendered her useless.
"I said get dressed, Kagome."
She shook her head lightly; "Hai," she answered, moving slowly toward her closet.
She turned the light on only briefly, just long enough to change into a red, long-sleeve top and a pair of jeans. She walked back into the room, sitting on the foot of the bed, her head pounding as she tried to calm herself. Her fingers played with the edges of her sleeves, her fear only growing in the dim room. It was had to be after midnight. Where could they go?
Sesshoumaru's voice drifted to her, but instead of calming her it only terrified her more. She tried to shut his voice out, ignoring the words as she fought to keep herself from shaking. There were breaks in his voice, so he had to be on the phone. But beyond that she was just forcing herself to breathe, staring at her knees in the semi-darkness.
Sesshoumaru suddenly entered her field of vision; "Let's go, Kagome."
She stood, following him out of the room, tempted to grab his hand, just for the comfort and stability he provided most of the time. She followed him down the hall, down the stairs, across the foyer, and out the front door.
Sesshoumaru turned, placing a hand on her shoulder to stop her just outside the door. She stood, the air around her disturbed by a small breeze, the stones still giving off the sun's warmth. A black car pulled up from the underground garage, stopping just down the steps.
"Kagome," he called, placing a gentle hand on her arm and guiding her down the steps, ushering her into the backseat before he joined her.
He gave an address to the driver she didn't recognize before leaning back in his seat, on arm up over the back of the seat, the other resting on the edge of the window.
"S- Sessho?"
"Yes, Kagome?"
"Um, where are we going?"
He turned to watch her, his eyes unemotional. Normally this state left their golden edges sharp and cold, but instead they were simply empty and blank.
"The breaking circle."
"The breaking circle? Whose-"
He placed a finger to her lips, then turned away, looking out the window for a moment; "Your breaking."
"M- my..." Her eyes opened wide as his words sunk in.
She pulled her bare feet up onto the leather, wrapping her arms around her knees as she forced herself not to cry. Her breaking. She whimpered, clenching the ends of her sleeves in her fists. He'd told her, he'd warned her; but after their mating she'd forgotten about it...
Kagome snuggled into Sesshoumaru, smiling as her eyes slid closed, warm in his arms.
"I love you, Sessho..." She whispered, running the backs of her fingers from his neck down the buttons of his shirt.
Sesshoumaru sighed softly, and Kagome could feel his clawed fingers running through her hair.
"It can't always be this way..." He whispered softly, resting his chin on her head.
She leaned back, looking up at him; "What?"
He unwrapped one of his arms, letting her fall onto her back against the grass.
"It's complicated, Kagome. I'm a demon, and once we mate, things are going to change, my instincts are going to want and require certain things from you, and there are ceremonies, rituals."
She blinked up at him, sliding one of her hands into his.
"Like what?"
"Like the Breaking."
"Breaking?"
"The instincts of a demon demand that he has absolute dominance over his mate, and the only way to guarantee control is through a breaking. When demons turn 18, they form a breaking group. Some of them are large, ten or twelve demons, mine is only three. The female is passed to everyone but her mate, and they break her, mentally and physically, their intensity depending on her and how stubborn she is. Once she's been through each of them she goes to her mate, and if she can fight against him and win, he can't place the breaking mark on her. If she loses, he gains total control over her, and she is forced, at all times, to show her breaking mark.
"In most circumstances, the female loses, and the demon gains the dominance that his instincts desire."
She looked up at him, raising a hand to brush against his cheek; "I'm not going to pretend I understand the ways of demons, but you'll teach me, right?"
Sesshoumaru leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, his fingers brushing along her hip.
Sesshoumaru looked over at Kagome as the car stopped, her face frozen in an expression of horror. He pressed away his own emotions. This was going to be hard, for the both of them. Typically most demons had their mates broken before the mating actually took place, so that they were less possessive and protective when it came to the breaking.
He sighed, stepping out into the cool night air outside a large house, another seaside manor not unlike his own.
"Stay here for a moment, Kagome."
He doubted she heard him, her eyes never blinking as she stared at the seat in front of her. He made his way quickly up the front steps, the door opening before his hand had reached the doorknob.
"Good Evening, Sesshoumaru."
"That same to you Akito."
The large youkai in the doorway stood the same height as Sesshoumaru himself, though the youkai stared at him through moss green eyes, his brown hair ending about his pointed ears.
"Rei is here, no doubt."
"He's upstairs already, saw no point in him hanging around down here. Where's Kagome?"
"We all have to have a talk first," He answered, his anger already trying to rise within him. He squelched it, retaining practiced control over his emotions as he followed Akito up the front stairs and into a back room.
The room, for all Akito's high standard of living, was above the rest. The bed was a four poster, the posts carved with intricate designs and inlaid with different stones, molded seamlessly together in the carvings. The sheets were pure silk, aquamarine, several pillows covering the headboard, which was a wooden mural of two mermaids. The floor was stone, covered with woven mates in most places. Rei, the last demon of Sesshoumaru's breaking group, was removing large pillows, large enough for three people to sit comfortably on, from a wooden cabinet, placing them on the floor on two of the mats.
"Hey Sess," Rei called, closing the cabinet and shaking Sesshoumaru's hand.
The group sat down, and Rei cocked his head; "Where's K-"
"Kagome? She's down in the car, first, we need to talk. Yes, she needs to be broken, but she's human, and that provides complications. You can't be as rough with her as we were with your mates, she won't be able to take it, mentally or physically. You are not to rape her, regardless of the fight she puts up. Keep the blood to a minimum, a scratch here or there goes a long way with her. She's already terrified, she'll fight, but it won't be like any other breaking."
Rei and Akito nodded, neither questioning him.
"I'll be right back."
He stood, walking quickly from the room and back down to the car, Kagome now standing outside, leaning against the closed door.
"Lets go," he said.
Kagome watched him for a moment, her face and eyes both masked with indifference, though he could still smell her fear. He could hear her following behind her as he returned, already aware of what was coming. He tightened his jaw, his emotions screaming at him to stop them. 'She needs to be broken, the longer I put it off, the harder it's going to get...'
Kagome was tense, her eyes flashing around. She remembered this house, she and Sesshoumaru had attended parties here often, even spent the night a few times. The halls were familiar to her, and that was comforting. But still, she couldn't relax.
Sesshoumaru, several steps ahead of her, turned into one of the doors. She followed, but at soon as she had entered the door, there were hands, pulling her down.
She tried to scream, but a hand was already over her mouth, claws pricking against her skin, not drawing blood, but close enough.
"Hello Kagome."
It was Rei, she remembered him; he'd helped her back to the dining room when she'd got lost during one of the parties; he was a nice guy, sweet, deep voice. She'd liked his voice, even wondered if he sang, but now his voice was sending chills down her spine, her body pressed against his for a moment before he flung her to the floor.
She expected to hit hard, but instead she met pillows, her fall cushioned slightly by their presence. Her elbow whacked hard against stone, her arm instantly throbbing all the way to her fingertips.
She twisted, ready to up and run, when Rei pulled her back, smacking her hard across the face.
"Did I say you could leave, bitch?" He asked, holding her shoulders against the pillows and straddling her.
"N- no," she answered, trying to force out more words. But a lump had grown in her throat, making it hard to breathe.
"Then why the hell were you leaving? Looks like someone needs to teach you a lesson."
He pressed his mouth to hers, his tongue pressing until it forced it's way past her lips, an unwelcome invasion. She bit him, struggling underneath his weight.
He laughed, squeezing his legs painfully around her waist, causing her a small moan.
"Stop," she whispered, the pressure only increasing.
"We're just getting started."
He held both wrists above her head, playing with the collar of her shirt before ripping it down the middle, almost cutting it in half. She twisted her wrists, desperate to get away from him.
"Sessho, please," she called, knowing he was there, somewhere, in the dark. He had to be, for her, he had to be.
Rei laughed again, tearing her bra to shreds, leaving her exposed to his eyes. He smirked, cupping one roughly, leaving small scratches stinging from his claws.
"Not exactly up to standards, you're worthless, but if it's offered..."
She raised her right leg under him, kneeing him in the center of his back. He straightened, momentarily stunned, long enough for her to free her hands.
She went at him with everything she had, her mind focused on getting away, on hurting him enough to let her get away. She scratched and punched. His chest, his face, pulling his long hair, anything within her reach.
Sesshoumaru held back a growl as Rei smacked Kagome, the room echoing with it, her attack stopping as she fell limp.
"Bitch," Rei said softly, wiping the blood from his mouth.
Kagome stirred, her small moans reaching him as her arms began to move at Rei again.
"Worthless whore," Rei added, rising and kicking her off towards Akito, who was glowing with a wicked smile.
"My turn," Akito hissed, leaving Kagome free on the floor.
Kagome took the opportunity, as expected, trying to rise and run. He rose also, quicker, punching her back to the floor.
"Stay, bitch, no one told you to leave."
She lay as she'd fallen for a moment, then sprang at his legs, startling him. He moved quickly from her path, hearing her land heavy on the stone. All the same she rose again, trying for the door.
Rei's foot rose from the floor, meeting her stomach and sending her back to him. He caught her, both hands instantly on her breasts, squeezing, hard enough to make her cry out.
"Rei's right," he whispered in her ear, sinking a few claws lightly into her skin, just breaking it, "Hardly worth it."
He nipped at her neck, drawing blood; "But who's to complain when it's offered, right?"
Kagome tried to elbow him in the stomach, but he caught her arm; "Now, now."
He turned her, leaning down to her breast and biting at them, breaking the skin and causing her to cry out several times before she finally knocked her head against his, causing her to sway slightly, though he never faltered.
"Aren't we a disobedient bitch," he said softly, biting particularly hard on her nipple, catching himself before he sank a fang into it, remembering Sesshoumaru's request.
She thrashed, trying to break away from him, kicking at him. She landed a nasty kick to his shin, setting a small shutter up his leg.
"Bitch," he said, punching her swiftly in the stomach and throwing her back at Rei.
Rei caught her, but grudgingly; "I don't fucking want her."
"
~By CherryBlossomMiko
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Disclaimer: I d-d- dont own InuYasha. *Clutches tightly to the hand of her psychiatrist* Was that good?
Summary: Kagome's feudal, lust-based relationship with Sesshoumaru is pushing her emotions every which way, confusing her and driving her insane. There's only one person in the world who can make everything crystal clear; her sanity. But now Kagome's feelings for him are what's causing her controversy; can she figure it out before she loses them both?
Pairings: Sesshoumaru/Kagome (beginning), really an InuYasha/Kagome
Rating: R; for language, adult themes, and adult situations.
Author's Note: Welcome to the second of the companion chapters! This one may be a bit longer than the other one, and it's definitely going to include a lot of flashbacks. This chapter is gonna be really angsty, just a warning, I mean, note the title.
Warning: This chapter is going to deal with some sensitive issues, and it may offend and/or upset certain people. I apologize in advance; this story is meant to be powerful, and it is rated R, and if you can't take it, I'm sorry. I am not endorsing or suggesting any sort of behavior like this, in fact I find most of it wrong. Sesshoumaru and Kagome are meant to have a dysfunctional relationship. But it is not meant to offend people. If it offends you, and is something that offends a certain culture or a larger body, please alert me immediately and it will be changed or removed. Thank you - Emmy.
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:: Chapter Four: Burn ::
- -
"Kag, you okay?"
InuYasha watched the slow glazing over of Kagome's eyes, the tenseness in her shoulders that had suddenly appeared. Her blue orbs were shimmering with unshed tears, her bottom lip quivering with the effort of holding them in.
"I... I'm fine, Inu. Sorry to, um, interrupt, I'll... I'll see you later, o-okay?"
Kagome turned quickly, her hand already turning the doorknob in her eagerness to leave. He ran to her, catching her arm as it tried to disappear into the stairwell.
"Inu, no, y- you go back with Kikyo, I- I didn't mean to..."
"No, Kag, come here."
"I- I'm sorry, I'm leaving, just let me go."
She was yanking her arm, trying to break his grasp. He held tighter, pulling her gently back inside.
"Inu..."
Kagome's eyes were squeezed shut, tears still escaping as she tried to break away from him. Something was very wrong, and he was going to fix it.
"Shh, Kawaii, come here."
"Don't call me that!" She yelled suddenly, yanking as she opened her eyes.
He was momentarily stunned by the intense pain in her eyes as she looked at him.
"Let me go!" She yelled, yanking again.
In his shock, her arm slipped free from him and she turned, dashing for the stairs, her shoes and her yells still echoing in the stairwell.
"Wait!" He shouted suddenly, his limbs properly moving again as he ran from the room, vaulting the stairs to catch her on the second story.
He pulled her into his arms, but she was still fighting, still beating at him and trying to hold back her tears. He jumped back to his floor, closing the door and locking it behind him. But in letting one arm leave Kagome's form she wiggled free, trying to get behind him to the door.
He stood in front of her, his arms spread wide enough to keep Kagome from escape. She rushed at him, and he stepped into it, catching her again as she smacked him, hard, leaving his cheek burning as she shoved and punched at him, the scent of her blood reaching his nose and disturbing him greatly.
He stopped being gentle, locking his arms as tightly as he could around her and taking her feet from the floor as she kicked at him.
"Let me go, let me go, let me go..."
He moved quickly, as quickly as he could with Kagome kicking and punching at him. He opened the door to his bedroom, tossing her lightly to the bed before he closed the door, holding the knob in one hand as Kagome began to yank on the other end.
"Kikyo, I'm sorry about this, could you, um, come back later? Like tomorrow?"
Kikyo's slightly confused and sad expression collapsed.
"What?"
He gave her an almost pained look, a helpless look.
"I have to... This is... She's my brother's wife and he's not always... please Kikyo, just... Leave."
She stood, trying to keep her gentle grace and calm demeanor in place above her growing anger.
"But, Inu Baby, what about-"
"Kikyo, this is important. Leave."
Her jaw was clenched in effort, her anger boil just under the surface. But she contained it, walking forward slowly to him, standing on his tiptoes to kiss him. He kissed her back for a moment, then pushed her gently away.
"Go."
"NO! I have to go!" Kagome had managed to push the door slightly open, her shouts entering the room along one of her hands through the bit of open space.
"I only had an hour! I have to go."
InuYasha turned and pushed her harder, his arm straining to keep the door closed.
"Leave."
She turned, her face instantly darkening to the deep hate she was feeling. There was no other girl allowed to take priority over her, not with any of the men she was with, especially not InuYasha. She shut the door behind her, taking the steps with purpose as she pushed a lock of hair back from her face, wrapping the rest of it back into a neat ponytail. This would not be allowed again...
InuYasha took a deep breath, readied himself, and shoved Kagome back as he pulled himself through the door. He slammed the door, locking it.
"Kag."
"No, I really have to go. I only had an hour, and I'm going to be late. I don't want him angry. I have to go, I have to go, I have to go..."
He took a step forward, pulling her into a tight hug, feeling her arms around his neck. She seemed momentarily helpless, unable to support her own weight as she held on to him, her breathing the only sound in the room.
"Kag, what's wrong?"
She shook her head slightly, pressing close to him for a moment before she pulled herself away, as far as he'd let her.
"I really have to go, Inu, I have to."
She seemed properly in control of herself now, but there was something detached and unemotional about her.
"I'm not letting you go."
She clenched her jaw for a moment, unnaturally still in his arms.
"Please, Inu."
"No."
She let out a small noise of frustration, sliding out of his arms and toward the door.
He moved in her path, eyeing her with concern; "No Kagome, no."
She watched him for a moment, her gaze lost, everything about her suggesting defeat. She turned, her hands rising to her face, and he heard her draw in a shaky breath, and he could hear the coming sob locked away in it. She had never, to his knowledge, tried so hard not to cry in front of him.
He took a step forward, the scent of salt twirling into the air around her.
"Kagome, just talk to me..." He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder.
Kagome jerked away from him, stumbling forward and falling onto his bed. She propped her face up on her hands, her elbows in his black sheets.
"Kagome..."
"Go away, if you aren't going to let me leave, go away."
He reached out for her, but stopped, his hand a few inches from her back. Never, in all his years of knowing Kagome, had she given up so quickly on what she wanted. Something was wrong, and she wasn't leaving until she had talked to him, let him reassure her. Because that was how things were. She was upset, she came to him, he figured it out, calmed her down, let her cry, and then she could go back, then she was strong enough to go back. Kagome was a strong person, but there were a few things she would never be able to handle. And that's where he came in.
He turned, unlocking the door with a click. He was halfway through the door, and he stood there, watching her back.
"Go..."
"We're going to talk about this, sooner or later."
"No we're not. Go."
"You came because you needed to talk. And we will."
"Go."
He shut the door and leaned against it, his arms crossed. It was only a moment before she broke out in shuttering, almost unearthly sobs.
Kagome hugged InuYasha's pillow close, trying hard to calm herself. This was all so irrational, so unnecessary. She and InuYasha were family, and he had always had his sex toys, so this was bound to happen. But it hurt, too much, far too much. And she didn't know why.
Part of her wondered why she was sitting here, when the one person who could always comfort her was sitting, waiting, in the next room. Another part felt almost violated, as if after walking in on him and Kikyo she wasn't allowed to curl up with him anymore. She turned looking at the glowing outline of the door in the dark room, the soft light calling to her.
"Inu..."
She heard his voice, low and rising and falling at a natural pace, though she could not discern the words. That, right out there, was where she belonged right now.
She crawled off his bed, quickly covering the steps to his door, turning the knob and pushing it open.
"Inu-chan, I..."
Two men were looking at her, not just one. Two pairs of amber eyes were focused on her, directly on her. One with lost certainty, the other with an undercurrent of anger.
"I said one hour Kagome, and I meant every word."
She was shattered. Not only had she been denied the comfort of InuYasha, Sesshoumaru was certainly not going to let her off.
"I- I'm sorry, I tried, and then, I wanted, but..." She was stumbling over her words, unwilling to implicate InuYasha, but trying to find the explanation he would demand now or later.
"It was my fault," InuYasha voiced.
Kagome surged forward, stopping after only a step when Sesshoumaru glared at her, his eyebrows lowered in anger.
"I saw that she was upset and I told her she wasn't leaving until we talked. She kept telling me she had to go, but I locked her in."
Shock was holding her in place. InuYasha was sacrificing himself, for her, and suddenly, she didn't want him to.
Sesshoumaru growled, his claws extending as crimson tried to force its way into his golden eyes.
"You can't blame him," Kagome managed finally, her eyes growing cold.
"And why not?" Sesshoumaru hissed, his gaze never leaving InuYasha.
"Because we both know I do as I please, and if I had really wanted to leave I would have. I can handle myself, we all know that."
InuYasha seemed to tense, and turned to meet her eyes.
InuYasha could barely believe the cold and almost malevolent look in Kagome's eyes. They clearly said: "I don't need your help, piss off." And he couldn't understand what had brought this on. But he knew her, and she wasn't acting in on his behalf, she really didn't want him to help.
Sesshoumaru took a few steps toward Kagome, the emotions floating on her scent most unnatural for her. He placed a finger on her chin, drawing her gaze from InuYasha to himself. For a moment, her gaze was still cold and hard-edged, very foreign in Kagome's blue eyes. After a moment her gaze softened to something more like her, angry and flustered, but not overly hostile. She wasn't exactly lying, he knew, but it didn't all fit. He watched her for a moment, almost waiting for her to break.
But she didn't, and he released her face and grabbed her wrist, his claws intentionally pricking into her skin. She hissed softly, clenching her fists.
"I'm not positive what happened here, but it's not going to happen again."
He pulled Kagome toward the door, ignoring the small sounds of pain as his claws snagged against her skin.
InuYasha stared at the open door, listening to their footsteps fading from echoes, as the front door of the apartment building slammed shut. He fell backwards onto the couch, Kagome's eyes burned into his brain; the crisp hostility, almost hatred, seeming to taunt him from her blue gaze, nothing fragile or vulnerable about her in that moment.
"What the fuck, Kagome? What happened to you?"
Sesshoumaru threw Kagome down onto the bed, and she simply lay there on her back, staring up at the ceiling. There was only a tinge of fear in her scent, and that enraged him; if the bitch knew anything, she'd be fucking terrified.
"Kagome," he growled, the fear rising in her scent the moment he spoke her name.
"Y- yes, Sesshoumaru-sama?"
"If you are going to take responsibility, you are going to take the punishment."
She shook for a moment, her mouth slightly open before she took control of herself, "Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama."
She smelled afraid, but she smelled like InuYasha. He growled again, causing her to flinch.
"Go take a shower, now; you reek of the half breed."
She moved instantly, avoiding his eyes. She closed the door behind her, and he instantly heard the sound of running water. She was crying softly, but nothing like she was going to when he was done. He should have broken* her a long time ago, but he'd let her human status cloud his reasoning.
Sesshoumaru watched Kagome dance with her surrogate father, the rest of the room in revered silence. He knew what tonight meant to her, and he also knew that his instincts told him to ruin it for her if he was to have control. Break her when she's highest, all demons did it to their mates, it was the only way to ensure control.
But she was human, and that presented other factors, and he knew that. If he broke her tonight, she may never recover from it. She would be an empty shell, and that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted the strong woman he'd chosen to be his mate, but he wanted her submissive as well. With a demoness, this would have been terribly simple; but she was not a demoness and she was, this was, not simple.
He took a sip of his wine, watching her twirl, smiling in the man's arms. He wanted her to be happy, because that was the way he liked her, that was the way in which she had fire. And he was mating her for her fire, for her strength; both qualities he required. And if breaking her tonight ruined that, he would be without a strong mate and without any other options.
He let out a silent sigh, resigning himself to his decision. No, he would not break her tonight. He would let her adjust, he would let her have her perfect wedding and fairy tale honeymoon, and then he would let her settle in. After a few months, he would break her, and then he would have her, her fire and strength intact.
Kagome emerged from the bathroom, and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust. She wore a royal blue robe that ended just above mid-thigh, her hands hidden in the sleeves. Her damp hair curled slightly around her, leaving small wet drops along her robe. The bathroom light lit her from, blurring the edges of her form. Her scent wafted across the room to him, clean to her base, but still heavy laden with fear.
She looked up at him, seeming very vulnerable. But regardless, he wasn't going to back down. She needed to be broken, and he had put it off for far too long.
"Get dressed; I wouldn't wear anything you like."
Kagome stood numbly in the doorway, the night's event finally seeming to penetrate as she tried to push them away, trying to shut down her emotions before they rendered her useless.
"I said get dressed, Kagome."
She shook her head lightly; "Hai," she answered, moving slowly toward her closet.
She turned the light on only briefly, just long enough to change into a red, long-sleeve top and a pair of jeans. She walked back into the room, sitting on the foot of the bed, her head pounding as she tried to calm herself. Her fingers played with the edges of her sleeves, her fear only growing in the dim room. It was had to be after midnight. Where could they go?
Sesshoumaru's voice drifted to her, but instead of calming her it only terrified her more. She tried to shut his voice out, ignoring the words as she fought to keep herself from shaking. There were breaks in his voice, so he had to be on the phone. But beyond that she was just forcing herself to breathe, staring at her knees in the semi-darkness.
Sesshoumaru suddenly entered her field of vision; "Let's go, Kagome."
She stood, following him out of the room, tempted to grab his hand, just for the comfort and stability he provided most of the time. She followed him down the hall, down the stairs, across the foyer, and out the front door.
Sesshoumaru turned, placing a hand on her shoulder to stop her just outside the door. She stood, the air around her disturbed by a small breeze, the stones still giving off the sun's warmth. A black car pulled up from the underground garage, stopping just down the steps.
"Kagome," he called, placing a gentle hand on her arm and guiding her down the steps, ushering her into the backseat before he joined her.
He gave an address to the driver she didn't recognize before leaning back in his seat, on arm up over the back of the seat, the other resting on the edge of the window.
"S- Sessho?"
"Yes, Kagome?"
"Um, where are we going?"
He turned to watch her, his eyes unemotional. Normally this state left their golden edges sharp and cold, but instead they were simply empty and blank.
"The breaking circle."
"The breaking circle? Whose-"
He placed a finger to her lips, then turned away, looking out the window for a moment; "Your breaking."
"M- my..." Her eyes opened wide as his words sunk in.
She pulled her bare feet up onto the leather, wrapping her arms around her knees as she forced herself not to cry. Her breaking. She whimpered, clenching the ends of her sleeves in her fists. He'd told her, he'd warned her; but after their mating she'd forgotten about it...
Kagome snuggled into Sesshoumaru, smiling as her eyes slid closed, warm in his arms.
"I love you, Sessho..." She whispered, running the backs of her fingers from his neck down the buttons of his shirt.
Sesshoumaru sighed softly, and Kagome could feel his clawed fingers running through her hair.
"It can't always be this way..." He whispered softly, resting his chin on her head.
She leaned back, looking up at him; "What?"
He unwrapped one of his arms, letting her fall onto her back against the grass.
"It's complicated, Kagome. I'm a demon, and once we mate, things are going to change, my instincts are going to want and require certain things from you, and there are ceremonies, rituals."
She blinked up at him, sliding one of her hands into his.
"Like what?"
"Like the Breaking."
"Breaking?"
"The instincts of a demon demand that he has absolute dominance over his mate, and the only way to guarantee control is through a breaking. When demons turn 18, they form a breaking group. Some of them are large, ten or twelve demons, mine is only three. The female is passed to everyone but her mate, and they break her, mentally and physically, their intensity depending on her and how stubborn she is. Once she's been through each of them she goes to her mate, and if she can fight against him and win, he can't place the breaking mark on her. If she loses, he gains total control over her, and she is forced, at all times, to show her breaking mark.
"In most circumstances, the female loses, and the demon gains the dominance that his instincts desire."
She looked up at him, raising a hand to brush against his cheek; "I'm not going to pretend I understand the ways of demons, but you'll teach me, right?"
Sesshoumaru leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, his fingers brushing along her hip.
Sesshoumaru looked over at Kagome as the car stopped, her face frozen in an expression of horror. He pressed away his own emotions. This was going to be hard, for the both of them. Typically most demons had their mates broken before the mating actually took place, so that they were less possessive and protective when it came to the breaking.
He sighed, stepping out into the cool night air outside a large house, another seaside manor not unlike his own.
"Stay here for a moment, Kagome."
He doubted she heard him, her eyes never blinking as she stared at the seat in front of her. He made his way quickly up the front steps, the door opening before his hand had reached the doorknob.
"Good Evening, Sesshoumaru."
"That same to you Akito."
The large youkai in the doorway stood the same height as Sesshoumaru himself, though the youkai stared at him through moss green eyes, his brown hair ending about his pointed ears.
"Rei is here, no doubt."
"He's upstairs already, saw no point in him hanging around down here. Where's Kagome?"
"We all have to have a talk first," He answered, his anger already trying to rise within him. He squelched it, retaining practiced control over his emotions as he followed Akito up the front stairs and into a back room.
The room, for all Akito's high standard of living, was above the rest. The bed was a four poster, the posts carved with intricate designs and inlaid with different stones, molded seamlessly together in the carvings. The sheets were pure silk, aquamarine, several pillows covering the headboard, which was a wooden mural of two mermaids. The floor was stone, covered with woven mates in most places. Rei, the last demon of Sesshoumaru's breaking group, was removing large pillows, large enough for three people to sit comfortably on, from a wooden cabinet, placing them on the floor on two of the mats.
"Hey Sess," Rei called, closing the cabinet and shaking Sesshoumaru's hand.
The group sat down, and Rei cocked his head; "Where's K-"
"Kagome? She's down in the car, first, we need to talk. Yes, she needs to be broken, but she's human, and that provides complications. You can't be as rough with her as we were with your mates, she won't be able to take it, mentally or physically. You are not to rape her, regardless of the fight she puts up. Keep the blood to a minimum, a scratch here or there goes a long way with her. She's already terrified, she'll fight, but it won't be like any other breaking."
Rei and Akito nodded, neither questioning him.
"I'll be right back."
He stood, walking quickly from the room and back down to the car, Kagome now standing outside, leaning against the closed door.
"Lets go," he said.
Kagome watched him for a moment, her face and eyes both masked with indifference, though he could still smell her fear. He could hear her following behind her as he returned, already aware of what was coming. He tightened his jaw, his emotions screaming at him to stop them. 'She needs to be broken, the longer I put it off, the harder it's going to get...'
Kagome was tense, her eyes flashing around. She remembered this house, she and Sesshoumaru had attended parties here often, even spent the night a few times. The halls were familiar to her, and that was comforting. But still, she couldn't relax.
Sesshoumaru, several steps ahead of her, turned into one of the doors. She followed, but at soon as she had entered the door, there were hands, pulling her down.
She tried to scream, but a hand was already over her mouth, claws pricking against her skin, not drawing blood, but close enough.
"Hello Kagome."
It was Rei, she remembered him; he'd helped her back to the dining room when she'd got lost during one of the parties; he was a nice guy, sweet, deep voice. She'd liked his voice, even wondered if he sang, but now his voice was sending chills down her spine, her body pressed against his for a moment before he flung her to the floor.
She expected to hit hard, but instead she met pillows, her fall cushioned slightly by their presence. Her elbow whacked hard against stone, her arm instantly throbbing all the way to her fingertips.
She twisted, ready to up and run, when Rei pulled her back, smacking her hard across the face.
"Did I say you could leave, bitch?" He asked, holding her shoulders against the pillows and straddling her.
"N- no," she answered, trying to force out more words. But a lump had grown in her throat, making it hard to breathe.
"Then why the hell were you leaving? Looks like someone needs to teach you a lesson."
He pressed his mouth to hers, his tongue pressing until it forced it's way past her lips, an unwelcome invasion. She bit him, struggling underneath his weight.
He laughed, squeezing his legs painfully around her waist, causing her a small moan.
"Stop," she whispered, the pressure only increasing.
"We're just getting started."
He held both wrists above her head, playing with the collar of her shirt before ripping it down the middle, almost cutting it in half. She twisted her wrists, desperate to get away from him.
"Sessho, please," she called, knowing he was there, somewhere, in the dark. He had to be, for her, he had to be.
Rei laughed again, tearing her bra to shreds, leaving her exposed to his eyes. He smirked, cupping one roughly, leaving small scratches stinging from his claws.
"Not exactly up to standards, you're worthless, but if it's offered..."
She raised her right leg under him, kneeing him in the center of his back. He straightened, momentarily stunned, long enough for her to free her hands.
She went at him with everything she had, her mind focused on getting away, on hurting him enough to let her get away. She scratched and punched. His chest, his face, pulling his long hair, anything within her reach.
Sesshoumaru held back a growl as Rei smacked Kagome, the room echoing with it, her attack stopping as she fell limp.
"Bitch," Rei said softly, wiping the blood from his mouth.
Kagome stirred, her small moans reaching him as her arms began to move at Rei again.
"Worthless whore," Rei added, rising and kicking her off towards Akito, who was glowing with a wicked smile.
"My turn," Akito hissed, leaving Kagome free on the floor.
Kagome took the opportunity, as expected, trying to rise and run. He rose also, quicker, punching her back to the floor.
"Stay, bitch, no one told you to leave."
She lay as she'd fallen for a moment, then sprang at his legs, startling him. He moved quickly from her path, hearing her land heavy on the stone. All the same she rose again, trying for the door.
Rei's foot rose from the floor, meeting her stomach and sending her back to him. He caught her, both hands instantly on her breasts, squeezing, hard enough to make her cry out.
"Rei's right," he whispered in her ear, sinking a few claws lightly into her skin, just breaking it, "Hardly worth it."
He nipped at her neck, drawing blood; "But who's to complain when it's offered, right?"
Kagome tried to elbow him in the stomach, but he caught her arm; "Now, now."
He turned her, leaning down to her breast and biting at them, breaking the skin and causing her to cry out several times before she finally knocked her head against his, causing her to sway slightly, though he never faltered.
"Aren't we a disobedient bitch," he said softly, biting particularly hard on her nipple, catching himself before he sank a fang into it, remembering Sesshoumaru's request.
She thrashed, trying to break away from him, kicking at him. She landed a nasty kick to his shin, setting a small shutter up his leg.
"Bitch," he said, punching her swiftly in the stomach and throwing her back at Rei.
Rei caught her, but grudgingly; "I don't fucking want her."
"