InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ In the Heat of Passion ❯ Chapter 10: Explanations ( Chapter 10 )

A/N: Yay! Next chapter is up! Thanks to all of my loyal readers and fans! Happy Reading!

Chapter 10

The walk back to Kaede's village was a rather quiet one. Miroku had suggested returning to the village because it just so happened that the village wasn't that far away. They would easily reach it by nightfall. Kagome's mood was a little better, though it was apparent she seemed deep in thought the entire walk back to the village. Sango and Miroku did their best to try to lighten up her mood a little bit by talking about the good weather and how good it would feel to get back to the village. Sango even said she would go with her to a hot spring that was close to the village when they got there. Kagome smiled at that. She knew that a hot bath would feel good.

Shippo rode in the basket of Kagome's bike. Every now and then he would look up to her and make a comment about how cute some flowers were as they past them. He even tried doing a couple of tricks for Kagome with his fox magic. It seemed to brighten Kagome's eyes as much as they could be brightened, but still not to the extent the kitsune would have liked. He just wanted Kagome to be happy again.

When they arrived at the village, everything seemed pretty normal. The villagers were busily working throughout the streets and it was apparent that a demon had attacked the village recently because there were workers repairing a couple of fallen houses. Kaede emerged from her house to greet and welcome her visitors.

"Miroku! Sango! Kagome! Shippo! Kirara! What brings ye here?" Kaede said. She then realized that Inuyasha wasn't with them. Miroku noticed Kaede searching for Inuyasha and shook his head. He mouthed the words `I'll tell you later' and the old woman got the hint.

"Please come inside!" she urged. "I was just about to begin dinner! I am glad ye arrived when ye did. Now I can make more."

Kagome smiled and walked inside. She immediately fell on the futon to rest for a bit. Sango walked over to Kagome.

"Kagome, would you like to go to the hot springs with me while Kaede prepares dinner?" Sango asked. Kagome smiled and nodded.

"That sounds great!" she said standing up and grabbing their bath supplies. "We'll return shortly."

And with that, Kagome and Sango walked out the door. Kaede immediately looked at Miroku. Miroku sighed and knew he had a lot to explain.

"What is going on here? Where is Inuyasha? And what is wrong with Kagome?" she asked.

"It's a long story," Miroku said as he began relaying the story to Kaede down to the last detail.

* * *

The hot springs weren't that far from Kaede's. The girls walked along in silence. Sango glanced at her friend. While Kagome's entire disposition portrayed that of sadness, a slight smile graced her face. Sango smiled to herself. She knew Kagome must be happy about taking a bath. Kagome had explained to her many times before about how Kagome's era had water they could turn on and off freely, making it hot or cold. Sango sighed. It would be nice to have that in her era.

"How do you feel?" Sango finally got up the courage to ask her friend. Kagome looked at Sango then back at the ground.

"Better than I have been feeling I guess," she said. "I know I will feel a lot better after a bath." Sango smiled.

"I'm sure you will," Sango said.

The two girls finally arrived at the hot springs. They set their bath supplies near the edge of the water and began undressing themselves.

A set of golden eyes watched from a nearby tree. When Inuyasha saw the girls undressing themselves, he quickly looked the other way. He then cringed realizing that he didn't know if he could ever look at Kagome in a sexual way again after what he did to her. Every time he even thought about it now, it felt as if he was violating her and some type of sick psycho. Then he heard the girls enter the water and turned around. The water covered Sango and Kagome to the top of their breasts, but one more inch and Inuyasha would see everything. Even looking at Kagome like this made him feel guilty. He knew that Kagome would pummel him for sure if she found out he was watching her and deservedly so. Then he noticed something else. The long slashes on each of her arms. He had done that. A tear rolled down Inuyasha's cheek. He hated himself so much.

`I think I will just keep watch on her with everything but my eyes,' Inuyasha thought as he looked straight ahead, trying not to pay attention to the bathing beauties beneath him. He decided to rely on his sense of smell and hearing to help Kagome out during a situation like this.

Kagome and Sango sat chest deep in the water. Kagome relaxed against a nearby smooth stone and sighed. Sango eyed her friend. She wanted to talk to her about the whole Inuyasha thing, but she wasn't sure if Kagome was ready to talk about it yet.

"Kagome," Sango said as she splashed the water a little. "If you don't want to talk about it, I understand, but I was just wondering how you felt about the Inuyasha thing."

Inuyasha's perked up attentively listening to their conversation. Kagome sighed and looked down at the water. Tears began to form at the corners of her eyes.

"I-I'm sorry, Kagome!" Sango blurted out. "I should have never mentioned it!"

"No," Kagome said with a sigh. "It's been two days since it happened. If I keep it locked up inside of me then I will never put it behind me. No. I guess I do need to talk about it."

Sango scooted closer to her friend and looked at her sympathetically. She knew this was going to be hard for her.

"I-I just don't know what to think," Kagome said. "I mean you guys tell me the whole story about how he couldn't help it and if that is true, then I can't necessarily hold it against him. But that also doesn't help how bad he hurt me. The pain just doesn't seem to want to go away. I know it may be hard for others to understand, but even though he couldn't help it, I still went through the experience of being robbed of my innocence against my will."

Kagome sighed. Inuyasha's ears laid flat against his head. He could have sworn Kagome's words had turned into daggers that traveled to him and stabbed him in the heart. It hurt so badly. He knew that Kagome was suffering, but she hadn't really said it like this before. When she yelled at him before and threatened to shoot him with arrows, she was angry. She was hysterical and furious. Now, it was as if she would fall to pieces if her bones didn't hold her together. The only thing Inuyasha could sense from her was hurt and confusion. She didn't seem angry any more.

As if reading his mind, she said, "I can't be angry at Inuyasha. He didn't mean to do it. Therefore, I can't be angry with him. He had no control over what he was doing. But it doesn't change the fact that he still did what he did. I-I just don't know how to feel right now. I am hurt mostly. If I am angry, I am angry at the situation, not Inuyasha. But…" Kagome trailed off as she began crying. "I don't care if he didn't mean to do it or not! He still did it! I don't know if I can ever forgive him for that! I wanted to wait, Sango! I wanted to save that for my husband only! Now, what am I going to do? Nothing! I can't do anything about it! I am stuck like this! I am no longer a virgin! And…and I still hurt down there! It still hurts! No matter how many times I wash my body, I still feel dirty! I still feel wretched! I just wish he had killed me! I cared about him! I had been with him for so long, believed in him, stood by his side, and even trusted him! I just feel like it was some evil trick of his! He kissed me Sango and the next thing I knew I was being raped! I had trusted him until that point! Where did I go wrong?! Maybe it was just a way of me finding out that I don't belong here, that I need to go home and stay there for good! I-I just hate him right now! I know that sounds horrible, but I can't help it! I can't stand him! I'll never be the same thanks to him! I just keep asking myself why he didn't see through all of that! Why he didn't stop himself!"

Sango wrapped an arm around Kagome's shoulders. She rubbed her shoulders a little bit trying to calm her down.

"Shh! Everything will be okay," Sango said. "Everything happens for a reason, Kagome. You will see that everything will turn out okay. Whether or not you ever forgive Inuyasha is up to you, but you do have to consider that Inuyasha is still trying to protect you. Kagome, he feels really bad about what he did. I know if Inuyasha could take it back, he would, but he is stuck too. I am not taking up for him in any way because I know that you were the one violated, but you should know that Inuyasha isn't taking this lightly either. That's the reason he chose to leave the group right now. He knows you need your time and space. This is killing him too. Trust me when I say that Inuyasha sincerely cares about you."

"Then why didn't he stop himself!" she exclaimed with a frown. "If he cares about me so much then why didn't he stop himself?!"

"Because there was no way he could, Kagome," Sango said. "You know as well as I do that Inuyasha can't control himself when he is in his demon form. Sometimes even your `sit' incantations haven't worked. He has to share his blood for him to even be able to mate with a human. You know firsthand the result if he doesn't do that."

Kagome sniffled and dried up her face a little bit. She thought back and realized that Sango was right. She looked at Sango.

"Have you talked to Inuyasha?" Kagome asked Sango.

"Not really," Sango replied. "But I have been doing a lot of talking with Myouga lately, and I am sure that Inuyasha would talk to me if I wanted to talk to him."

Sango glanced up in the trees. She knew Inuyasha was up there some where. She could sense him.

"I will just need time, Sango," Kagome said. "I am just so confused as to why any of this ever happened. I don't know how I feel, I don't know what I believe, and I definitely don't know what I want!"

"Well, that's okay," Sango said. "Take your time with it, Kagome. This isn't something easy to deal with. Just take it day by day."

Kagome nodded her head.

"Thanks, Sango!" Kagome said.

Kagome sat up straight as Sango backed away from her. Both girls began bathing themselves. As soon as they were done bathing, they decided to stay for a little while longer and relax. The hot water felt good to Kagome's skin. It soothed her and comforted her. Sango immediately agreed to stay. She had to admit she would like to lavish in the hot springs now that Inuyasha wasn't rushing them so they could continue the hunt for the jewel shards. She rested her head against a rock and allowed the waters to soothe her body.

`Poor Kagome,' Sango thought. `I wish there was something I could do.'

Meanwhile, up in a tree not too far from the girls, Inuyasha was contemplating how he was ever going to win Kagome back. He had heard the girls' entire conversation. He had no idea what to do.

`Damnit!' he thought. `I can't take this anymore! If I weren't concerned for Kagome's safety, I would go far away and not come back for a while! I can't stand to see her like this! She hates me! I can't say as I blame her, but how am I ever going to get her back? I guess I will just have to be patient. I guess, considering the circumstances, Kagome has already made incredible progress.'

Inuyasha thought back to what Kagome had said. She couldn't understand why Inuyasha couldn't stop himself. He really couldn't understand that either. In fact, he didn't even remember any of it. The last thing he remembered was kissing Kagome and the next thing he knew, he was naked, staring at a battered Kagome. His thoughts were interrupted by the girls getting out of the hot springs. He glanced down at them.

`I'll follow them back to the village, then I will talk to Miroku,' Inuyasha decided. With that, he jumped from tree to tree following the girls back to the village.

* * *

Back at the village, Miroku had already explained everything to Kaede. She couldn't believe that such a thing could happen between Inuyasha and Kagome. She was baffled. The priestess and hanyou were so close to admitting their feelings for one another and then this had to happen. Kaede sighed. She knew this was going to be a test of their love for each other, for if Kagome didn't incredibly love Inuyasha from the beginning then he would never be able to get her back. Kaede hated drama, but she was concerned for her friends.

"Kaede! We're home!" Kagome said with a smile as she walked through the door.

"My!" Miroku said. "You seem in a better mood!"

"Yeah! It's amazing what those springs can do for you!" she said.

Miroku smiled, happy to see Kagome in a good mood again. Kagome walked over to Shippo and sat next to the fire with him. He smiled up at Kagome and began chattering on about seemingly nothing. Kagome would smile and even laugh a little. It was almost as if a sigh of relief could have been felt through the entire house. Miroku smiled and stepped towards the door.

"I'm going to go get a little more firewood," he said and walked out the front door.

He walked around to the side of the house to retrieve the extra firewood when he stopped dead in his tracks. Standing next to the firewood was none other than Inuyasha. He had his arms folded in his haori with his back leaning against the house. He didn't even look at Miroku when he sensed his presence. He just stared straight ahead.

"Inuyasha?" Miroku asked.

"Miroku," Inuyasha said still staring straight ahead. "I need to talk to you."

Miroku nodded.

"Well, let's walk this way so that no one can hear us," Miroku said pointing towards the forest. Inuyasha nodded and followed him. "So what did you need to talk to me about?"

"I want to know," he said. "How is Kagome? I mean, I kept watch over them while they were bathing and I could hear their conversation, but I want to know what you think. Do I ever have a chance of getting her to trust me again?" Miroku sighed.

"Unfortunately, that's not a question that I can answer," Miroku replied. "Only Kagome knows the answer to that. She seems a lot better though. She was smiling and even laughing a little with Shippo inside of Kaede's house. That's a vast improvement seeing as how it happened only two days ago." Inuyasha nodded.

"Yeah, I heard her," he said. "It felt so good to hear her laugh."

Miroku eyed Inuyasha skeptically. He knew his friend had always had feelings for Kagome, but never in a million years did he ever expect Inuyasha to talk about it with him.

"I just don't know what to do, Miroku," Inuyasha said. "I am so worried about her, and it's killing me to not be able to be by her side."

"Tell me something Inuyasha," Miroku said. "Do you seriously not remember what happened? Think hard. Can't you honestly say that you have no idea how Kagome wound up the way she did?"

"YES!" Inuyasha said. "That's what aggravates me so much! I can't remember a thing! I don't even know what I did to her! I wouldn't even know the details of what I was apologizing for!"

"Tell me what you do remember," Miroku said calmly.

"That's none of your damn business, monk!" Inuyasha said blushing. Miroku rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Inuyasha," Miroku said. "If you want my help, you are going to have to be more open with me."

Inuyasha pondered what he had just said for a moment. Inuyasha would do anything to win Kagome back, even if it meant putting his pride aside. Inuyasha sighed. He knew he had to tell Miroku what he knew or else he no one would be able to help him.

"Alright," Inuyasha said. "I remember Kagome and I sitting at a tree. I remembering telling her about how Kikyo and I went our separate ways…"

"Whoa! Stop right there!" Miroku said. "You and Kikyo called it quits?"

"Yeah," Inuyasha said with a nod. "We both finally realized that the Kikyo I was once in love with is dead and always will be. Kikyo's new body is incapable of fully loving someone. It was holding me back…holding me back from Kagome."

Miroku pondered this, then urged Inuyasha to continue.

"Well, after I told her that, she said something about being tired and rested her head on my shoulder," he said. "I don't even really remember how it happened, but somehow we ended up kissing each other. I think it just kind of happened. Anyway, I remember laying her gently on the ground and getting on top of her. We made out for a while, then I told her I wanted her and she told me she wanted me too. It was weird though. I had been controlling myself the entire time. I could tell she wanted me too, but I wanted to hear her say it first. As you know, it is demon mating season and so I was doing everything in my power not to take her. But when she said she wanted me too, it was like I blacked out or something. That was the last thing I remember. The next thing I knew I was naked and staring at a battered Kagome only for you guys to tell me that I was the one who did that to her. I couldn't believe it at first. In fact, if I hadn't smelt my scent all over her, I probably still wouldn't believe you guys. Her blood and skin were also in my fingernails."

Inuyasha looked away from Miroku as tears came to his eyes. He shook with anger. He was so angry with himself for what he had done to Kagome.

"I didn't mean to do it, Miroku!" Inuyasha said balling his fists together and shaking with anger. "I would kill myself before allowing anything like that to happen to her!"

Miroku sighed and placed a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder.

"I know," Miroku said. "I am sorry that I am making you talk about this, but we need to know your side and Kagome's side of the story before we can proceed to help in any way. I think you have said enough for now."

A/N: Woohoo! Okay, now don't forget to read and review! The next chapter will move forward! I know there is a lot of talking in this chapter, but a lot of explaining had to be done so Miroku and Sango could help out their friends!

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