InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Incomplete ❯ Chapter 19 ( Chapter 19 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

By: Langus

Kagome wiped the sweat off her brow with the back of her hand and squinted at the sun. It was unseasonably hot - far too hot for Fall. Her uniform shirt (which she'd manage to steal back from one of the servants) was sticking to her back in damp patches and she hadn't even been outside a half hour. Stopping briefly to take a sip of water, she stared down the field and contemplated her target.

Days like this were hard. Days when she missed the smooth, rich tone of Miroku's voice, Sango's laugh, or Shippo's antics. Days when she missed the warm gold of his eyes and the way one fang liked to peek out over his bottom lip. With no demons to hunt or jewel shards in the area there were few distractions to keep her mind preoccupied. So on days like today she felt their absence like a hole in her chest.

It didn't help that Sesshomaru was apparently just as elusive within the walls of his palace as he was outside of them. She was starting to wonder if he was avoiding her. The thought had occurred to her that he'd already gone off to fight in that war his advisors had been talking about. She couldn't know for sure. It wasn't like anyone told her anything...

Blowing the bangs out of her eyes, Kagome set her water down, grabbed up another arrow and slid it into her bow. Archery was a good distraction. At present, it was her only distraction and she clung to it like a lifeline. The target stood about 50 meters away, its red bullseye bright red in the afternoon sunlight. She pulled her bowstring taut and concentrated on staying completely still. Her breaths came slowly, one after the other, in and out, in and out...

The bowstring made a loud "TWANG!" and the arrow whistled home, just barely missing its mark.

"Damn," she muttered, stooping to pick up another.

"Your right shoulder is too high."

She turned at the unexpected intrusion and found the Killing Perfection himself watching from a few feet away. She hadn't heard him approach, hadn't even sensed him at all until he spoke. How long had he been there anyway?

"Thanks," she muttered, feeling somewhat uneasy. Taking his advice into consideration, she set herself up to take a second shot.

"It will miss," he said with certainty.

Rolling her eyes, she blocked him out and focused on the target in front of her. What did he know about archery anyway? The target wasn't that far and the wind was good. If she just concentrated hard enough...

Determined, she pulled the bow string taut and released it once more. Her eyes followed the blurred tail of the arrow until it struck home - just to the left of the target. A frustrated sigh escaped her lips and she picked up another.

Glancing over her shoulder at the taiyoukai watching her, she frowned and begrudgingly asked for help.

"You said my shoulder is too high...? The right one?"

He nodded and she rolled it to loosen the muscles. When it felt sufficiently loose, she took her stance once more and got her arms into position.

"Like this?"

His brow furrowed slightly as he studied her stance. Judging from his expression, he didn't seem overly impressed. She noticed with a hint of annoyance that her arms were trembling under his scrutiny. Archery was the one thing she was good at and one look from him was enough to make her doubt everything she knew.

He was intimidating at the best of times, but having him stand so close and look at her so intently made her stomach flip and turn in nervous knots. His hand suddenly touched her shoulder and her breath stopped short. He gave her a wry look and then pushed it into position. She felt the difference immediately and wondered how she hadn't noticed it before.

He stepped back with a certain nod and she stared after him, stunned.

"Now," he ordered, his attention directed at the target in front of them.

Obediently, she turned her eyes to the target and let her last arrow fly. With bated breath she watched as it slammed home into the centre of the mark.

"Bullseye!" she cheered, throwing her fist into the air with a victorious smile. Maybe he knew a thing or two about archery after all. It was an impressive feat for a guy with one arm.

Still grinning, she turned to thank him for his help but he was already retreating towards the palace. She watched him go and then turned back to the target. The arrows she'd shot were sticking out of it like porcupine quills and yet only the last one, the one he'd helped her with, had hit the bullseye.

"If I could do that every time," she muttered, "I might actually stand a chance at matching Kikyou's archery skills."

It'd be a long road, but she was determined to try. The stronger she became the better chance she'd have at helping the others defeat Naraku. And the more useful she'd be if it did come down to a war with the northern tribes, too. However soon, she knew she couldn't afford to be weak or untrained when that moment came.

With determination shining in her gaze, she set off down the field to retrieve her arrows.

oOo

Kagome didn't have to wait long to test out her archery skills. A few days later the sudden presence of a familiar tingle in the back of her mind made her jump.

"Oh... Oh!" she shouted, abruptly getting to her feet.

Rin looked up at her curiously, as did Sesshomaru. They'd been sitting in the garden together, taking in some sun. Or rather, she'd been sitting and chatting with Rin. Sesshomaru had distanced himself from them in favour of sitting beneath his favourite tree.

It'd only taken a few trips to the garden for her to realize that it was always that tree in particular he chose to sit under. There didn't seem to be any particular reason for it. It wasn't the nicest tree in the garden, not even close. It wasn't as old as some of the others either and didn't provide nearly as much shade as some of the large oaks. Even still, he was unfailingly loyal to the Willow just the same. He was such a strange creature of habit in some ways and an unpredictable mystery to her in others.

"What's wrong Kagome? Did you get bit by something?" Rin asked, setting down the stick she'd been toying with.

"It's a jewel shard! I'm positive!" she answered, elated. Finally, something to do!

Without waiting for a response from either of them she ran for the palace. She didn't need to bring much, maybe just a snack, her bow and some extra arrows. Oh, and Ah-Un of course too. The shard was close, but not that close. And besides, riding on the two headed demon would give her the advantage of fighting from above.

Her mind was reeling with strategies, jumping frantically from one thought to another as the adrenaline pumped through her veins. It felt so good to be useful again!

It didn't take more than a few minutes to grab what she needed and head for the stables where Ah-Un was kept. She thought it was weird at first that Sesshomaru kept them in a stable like a horse but they seemed to like it well enough and in a strange way it sort of made sense. If demons rode horses Ah-Un would be a pretty nice thoroughbred.

She was nearly at the stable by the time Rin caught up to her, breathless.

"Kagome! Can I come too?"

"Sorry Rin, not this time. It's too dangerous. Sesshomaru would kill me if anything happened to you."

The girl's expression went from excited to crestfallen in the blink of an eye.

"Oookay..." she muttered before slinking off. She had to admit, the girl could pull an award winning guilt trip when she wanted to. No wonder Sesshomaru rarely said "No" to her.

With Rin gone she made her way into the dimly lit stable and met her next roadblock - Sesshomaru. Her immediate shock melted into surprise and eventually confusion. Why was he here? They stared at one another for a long moment, seeming to size each other up.

"Do you want to come?" she hazarded, not quite sure why he was standing in her way.

"I have no interest in the sacred jewel," he retorted sharply. The way he said 'sacred jewel', it was as if the entire idea of it was beneath him. At his words Ah-Un's two heads turned to look curiously in their direction.

"Alright, suit yourself," she muttered and took another step forward. He made no attempt to move and she was forced to step back again. She let out an impatient sigh and stared up at him expectantly. He stared back, his expression verging on annoyance.

"I did not give you permission to leave."

It took longer than expected for his words to sink in. Had he really just said that?

"I didn't think I needed to ask permission," she challenged. Her tone was dangerous but it didn't seem to phase him in the least. He answered her with a look that suggested otherwise, much to her chagrin.

"Well, think what you want," she huffed, "but I'm going after that jewel shard."

She scowled at him and when he didn't give in she pushed past him with a brisk, "Excuse me."

She didn't get far. His hand wrapped around her arm like an iron shackle, halting her dead in her tracks.

"I will be obeyed."

His tone was severe and left no room argument. Pity for him he didn't know just how stubborn she could be.

"I'm not your pet," she snapped, meeting his even gaze with a determined one of her own.

Her comment seemed to surprise him, if a slight lift of his brow was any indication. Taking advantage of his momentary distraction she concentrated on harnessing her spiritual energy and envisioned herself forcing it directly into his hand. She wasn't sure what effect it would have, if any, but figured it was worth a try. She had to hide her surprise when his eyes narrowed at her and his grip loosened enough for her to pull her arm free.

"It's my duty to go after that jewel shard. I have a responsibility to collect them."

He gave a derisive snort at her reasoning.

"You're not ready."

"Not ready?"

"To fight alone," he finished with certainty.

The truth behind his words stung more than she was willing to admit. He was right. She'd always fought with Inuyasha at her side and the strength of Sango and Miroku behind her. She didn't know the first thing about fighting alone and surviving, but she had to at least try. She couldn't be this useless.

"I need to try," she pleaded, averting his gaze. "I at least need to try."

She didn't see his reaction to her words but whatever it was, he didn't stop her a second time. She brushed past him to Ah-Un and gave the demons each a gentle nose rub before jumping up into the saddle strapped across their back. She wasn't surprised to find Sesshomaru gone once she'd edged the demon out into the hall. Her stomach dropped a little with disappointment.

It wasn't that his approval mattered, or that she really wanted him to come with her, but it would've been nice to not feel quite so alone. Despite his ability to successfully quash every ounce of excitement and confidence she'd had going in, she still offered him a heartfelt "Thank you" before taking off.

Because of him, she now had two goals ahead of her - take back the jewel shard and find a way to prove him wrong.

oOo

"Inuyasha, are you sure?"

It was Sango, calling to him from Kirara's back. Her and the monk trailed behind as he rushed on ahead.

"I'm sure!" he answered over his shoulder before pushing off another tree branch.

He didn't tell them what made him certain. He couldn't, not right now. He knew exactly what would happen. They'd give him one of those looks - disappointment, pity and longing mixed with doubt. It felt like that was the only look they'd given him since she left. Every time he went on the hunt for another shard, every time he told them which direction to turn they gave him that look.

They didn't trust him without her. He was starting to wonder why they even bothered to stay. Was it out of a sense of duty? Or maybe even pity? He couldn't stomach either option, but he could stomach being alone even less. He never wanted to go back to that - that emptiness, the loneliness of knowing that not a single soul in the world cared if you lived or died. He couldn't become that person again. So he couldn't tell them that what propelled his feet forward now was the remnants of her warm, tangible, familiar scent on the air.

It was the first time in weeks that he'd been able to find her and his heart instantly jumped into his throat. How would she react at seeing him again? He could picture the worst case scenario all too easily and it made him grimace. Words of rejection, hate... He could picture all of it. Of course, his heart wished for something different. It beat hopeful for a reconciliation.

All he needed was a second chance to prove how he felt. There were so many things he wanted to say and so many things he wanted to show her, but there was the very real possibility that he might never get that chance. The thought made his knees weak. He was thankful when her scent grew strong enough that his thoughts focused on one thing alone - she was just ahead and from the sounds of it, she wasn't alone.

He heard a growl from something large and inhuman, and then an ear piercing screech. It was only then that the other scent he'd noticed finally registered - demon!

"Shit! Kagome!" he cursed, forcing his feet to move faster.

His heart beat so loud in his ears it nearly made him deaf. If she was hurt or dead... If he couldn't get to her in time... His mind was reeling, his every thought filled with panic and fear.

I can't lose her!

He was frantic by the time he burst through the trees with Tetsusaiga drawn.

She seemed surprised to see him standing there. Her mouth hung open a little and her hand froze overtop the sizeable pile of blood and guts next to her.

"Inuyasha..."

He wasn't even aware his body was moving. One moment he was standing across the clearing and the next she was in his arms, warm and alive. He crushed her against his chest and breathed her in. Her scent seemed to fill every part of him, until he felt like a cup that was overflowing with water. His arms remembered what it was like to be wrapped around her and the ache of regret dug a little deeper.

"Are you okay?" he asked when he was finally able to pull himself away. His hands lingered on her shoulders and zhe stiffened at his touch.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Inuyasha, what are you doing here?" she asked, her expression wary.

The heartfelt words and apologies that'd been resting on his tongue evaporated. Her rejection hit him like a swift kick to the gut and left him reeling. Slowly, he pulled his hands away and dropped them to his side. Was it really over between them then? Was there no hope for him left?

She looked at him expectantly but all he could muster was a frustrated 'keh' before he turned away from the brown eyes he'd missed so much.

"Looking for jewel shards, of course," he snapped.

She looked hurt, which only made him feel worse. Thankfully Miroku and Sango chose that moment to ride into the clearing.

"Kagome!"

They called out to her in unison, their voices filled with surprise.

"We didn't expect to find you here," Miroku explained with a smile. "Did you find a jewel shard?"

Kagome smiled proudly and nodded. "Sure did! I was just about to purify it when you guys arrived."

Inuyasha didn't miss the hesitant look she gave him before stooping to retrieve the shard from the pile of demon guts at her feet. That's right. The last time he was around a jewel shard he'd used it to become a full demon and nearly killed her. He hadn't forgotten and apparently neither had she. The shard instantly turned a soft glowing pink in her hand, purified of the darkness Naraku had polluted it with.

"Not bad for a day's work," she joked, laughing lightly.

"I'm surprised Sesshomaru lets you out. He's usually more possessive of his play things."

The cruel words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. The shocked gasps of the others were nothing compared to the look she gave him. The joy and pride she'd felt at succeeding in her first solo battle for a jewel shard quickly faded from her eyes. His carelessness had hurt her again.

She bristled past him and made her way to the others.

"Here, take it. It's best if we keep all the shards together," she explained sounding very business-like as she handed over the jewel shard she'd fought so hard for.

"Are you sure Kagome?"

She nodded and placed the shard in Sango's outstretched hand.

"Are you leaving again?" Miroku asked, voicing the question that was on all of their minds.

With a meaningful look in his direction she answered, "Yeah, but I'll try to find jewel shards whenever I can."

"Your help is appreciated," Miroku answered for all of them with a thankful nod.

She smiled, if a little sadly, and offered them each a hug.

"I've really missed you guys. Be careful okay?"

"We've missed you too. But don't worry about us, Kagome. We're doing okay," Sango promised with a smile. "Just take care of yourself."

Kagome nodded, looking reassured. "Well, I should head back..."

Stay, he thought. The plea resounded throughout his entire being. Please, stay. But instead of grovelling he kept his arms crossed and looked anywhere but at her.

She made her way purposefully to Sesshomaru's flying demon but her feet hesitated half way there. He could feel her eyes on him, piercing him with that same look as before. She looked like she wasn't sure what to do, run or stay; speak or be silent. She eventually settled for a soft, "Goodbye Inuyasha" before closing the rest of the distance and climbing up into the demon's saddle.

It was only once she was already in the air that his body permitted him to move again. Panic set in. He rushed after her but it was already too late. She was gone and he'd driven her away - again. Gutted, he lowered his head and clenched his fists at his sides. Why did he keep screwing it up? His claws dug in so deep they drew blood from his palms, but he didn't care. He deserved it.

Sango and Miroku fixed him with burning gazes of their own.

"Idiot," the demon slayer muttered under her breath. She abruptly retreated back into the forest to find Kirara. Miroku followed her with a disappointed shake of his head and he was left alone. The feeling was unbearable. Desperate for release, he took off in the opposite direction determined to run until his feet or his heart gave out - whichever came first.

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Author's Note: An entirely new chapter! Yay! Hope you guys like it ;)

I listened to an original live version I had of the Moffatt's tune "Misery" while writing this. It seemed to fit pretty perfect with Inuyasha's state of mind.