InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Indi_t's wonderful world of One Shots!!!! ❯ Shades Of Blue ( Chapter 3 )

A/N: I used to be in the group that hated kikyou because she ruined the “perfect couple” but I'm not anymore, the anime didn't really show her for who she is, if she really was a “home-wreaker” then she would be with the Inu-tachi, but you barely see her throughout the series, and if you read the manga, it shows what a sad, beautiful character she is, and I have real respect for her, so this is my ode to her

 

 

 

SHADES OF BLUE

 

 

 

 

Kikyou watched him. Watched him travel with that young girl, her copy, her replacement. And yet, she did not hate her, only him. Hated him because he lived, and hated him because she died. But hated him the most because she loved him. Or at least who she once was had loved him. What she has become now, she couldn't act like she was the same person. Death changes people, and she should know better than anyone that fact was true.

 

What was she now? Just dirt and bones, no real soul, for that young girl has it now, that young girl has her life, and is living it for her. It angered her to see the look of adoration in his eyes that he once had for her given to another, it was meant for HER and her alone, now she watched as her former world disappear forever.

 

 

The was no way that she could live it the way she wanted from the beginning, and that's why she had wanted him to follow her in death anyway. She wanted to insure that he would never forget her, and death promised that. But most of all, she did for him, Death is better then living in despair and vicious self-hatred, as he was before and living with the actions of 50 years ago would shatter his very soul

 

. Did she really hate him or was it the tormented memories that turned the feelings of Love and utter devotion into the darkest hate. She did not know the answer to that question no matter how many times she asked herself that.

 

 

As it approached twilight she stood in front of the tree that bonded the 3 lives together, this is where it ended and began and so this is where a decision must be made. She touched the imprint made by the arrow, remembering the horror this simple mark held. How fickle is the human heart. One day you love someone with your whole soul, next you take each-others lives. How fickle indeed.

 

She thinks back at that time, and how could she have not seen this coming. The person behind all this pain, she knew very well, and she played right into his hands. It was a disgrace that her senses did not pick up on the evil of that day, the one responsible should be the one to pay; he destroyed her happiness, her life, and her love. Now she is destined to ether die or stay alive, and she only walks the earth because of the souls of dead maidens.

 

 

She left the tree and walked over to the well, the only thing that brings the young girl to him. She presence is unnatural, she does not belong here, and knows of the counterpart and what the relationship of all this, but she still makes it her duty to show up. Is she just sadistic, or just oblivious to the fact that her very being makes him light up, something he never did when he was with her?

 

The young girl thinks that she is inferior because she came second, oh how wrong can you be. She has done things that Kikyou Could never do for him, and that places her way above then she thinks.

 

Now where is she in his heart? He feels guilty. That is all. Does he love her, or the woman she was? If he truly loved her, he would be at her side, and he wouldn't be with her copy

 

. Just the fact that he says with her and doesn't see her unless she comes to him just proves who he loves. Kikyou has seen him have that apologetic look in his eyes at the girl after his meetings with her, and not once has he ever had that look when he sees her, like he doesn't care how she feels about seeing him with that little girl.

 

Her fist clenched as she thought of that, her pale skin flushed and that hatred returned. He has found a replacement, and he will pay. And yet, her heart softened

 

“Can I really hate him for being happy?”

 

She tried, but it's fleeting, She's tried to fill herself with hatred so she won't turn it inside, because in reality, she hated herself. She can't give him what he needed, and it was love. How can she offer that now?

 

Her heart is full of hate and despair, that she couldn't love him, and he couldn't love her because every time she saw her, all he saw was his mistake, and all she saw in him was her end. Love can't save her, nothing can.

 

 

Was it worth it? Why does dreams have to fade, into so many different shades of blue. Her hate cost her more then she thought, and lead her into dark depths, she should have never ventured into. Working with the one that caused all this, trying to kill the girl, trying to kill him, all these things killed her on the inside, and yet, she did them nonetheless.

 

She once though she did all this because she LOVED him? Caused him so much pain and heartache, made him feel like he needed to die to make it up to her? And that is what she called love?

 

“ Is this what I call love? This what I have to show for it?”

 

Was her resurrection a sad and lonely thing, here to steal his peace of mind? Sometimes the only peace she found was just to pretend that he was still right next to her. When she closed her eyes, she still pictured him by her side; it's hard to face the truth.

 

Thinking about the mistakes she made, Kikyou knew she couldn't undo the days she misused. Time cant undo mistakes, Her hate has only deepened her great sadness, and her great sadness has had no release, as she sat on the grass in front of the tree where the memory of her former self is imbedded in, a single tear fell from her eye….

 

 

 

A/N: If you can tell I kind of took some of the lyrics from Nick Lachey's Shades of blue (listen to the song, it's sad and reminds me of Kikyou) I hope you like! Don't forget to review! Flames welcome!!