InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Indolentia ❯ Painful Memories and Wise Words ( Chapter 9 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Kagome awoke, as promised, on her own bedroll. Inuyasha was no where in sight, but the rest of the gang was sleeping peacefully. Miroku had thrown his blanket aside, and had begun forming a large puddle of drool next to his head. His face was still red from the night before. Shippou slept curled next to Kilala who must have crept next to him during the night. Sango was beside them both, her hand resting on kilala's back. They looked like nothing could hurt them when they slept like that, like they didn't know pain. Kagome knew better.


She closed her eyes against the harsh memories that flooded her mind. She didn't want to remember, but still the pain came, fresh and new. Inuyasha screaming hostile words at Naraku, the cold laugh that the monster emitted still wrung in her ears. The ripping of flesh as tetseiga tore through him. The ground that had been torn to shreads by the repeated uses of Inuyasha's wind scar. Kouga's battle howl as he charged in to help katana raised, and fists flying. The tears Miroku openly shed as the hell hole in his hand slowly closed before thier eyes. Kohaku's piercing shriek as Naraku removed his shard to increase his own power. Kohaku smiling in Sango's arms, telling her he loved her. The realization that it was all over. They had come out of it alive. Kagome had thought that with Naraku gone, life would return to normal, and it had for the most part, but some things would never be right.



Sometimes Sango would stare into the darkness, or off into the forest, absently stroking Kilala. The look on her face was always one of sadness, but if you watched closely, you would see that something else was present there too. A feeling of peace and freedom would cross over her features briefly before it was again replaced with one of sorrow. She was remembering, Kagome knew, remembering her family, and her villiage, wishing that things had been differant, that she had been able to stop Kohaku sooner, that she had realised Naraku's plot, that she had been able to save her villiage. Kilala seemed to understand and even share these times with Sango. The two of them were in a differant world then, a world that existed in the happy past.


Miroku sometimes would dissapear for days at a time, telling no one where he was going. The first time it happened, everyone suspected that he had merely gone off gallavanting in a neighboring villiage, but the look on his face upon his return had said otherwise. His pained expression had stalled even Sango from remarking on his absence. Where he really went, Kagome had no clue, but she suspected that Miroku might miss the wind tunnel. Sometimes she would catch him mindlessly fingering the prayer beads on his hand, he had yet to remove them. Kagome had begun to wonder if he ever would.


Inuyasha had always been the most withdrawn of all of them, yet he too seemed reluctant sometimes. He had begun spending more time than usual in the God Tree, and his moods were even more unpredictable than they normally were. Sometimes he was so aggitated that he just ignored everyone. Miroku had a theory that Inuyasha just missed the excitement and chase of the battles they used to have, but Kagome thought there was more to it than that. She had tried to ask him once, but he had just ignored her. She thought perhaps that he was missing Kikyou, but if he was he said nothing. None of them had seen Kikyou since the final battle. She had appeared briefly, and as if she was a ghost had dissapeared just as quickly as she had come. She had said nothing, but the look on her face was almost happy, relieved. Kagome thought that maybe her soul had been set free, but she had been too afraid to ask. She didn't want to upset anyone.


Shippou for the most part was his usual self, but when he played with the villiage children Kagome could see how the ongoing battles had changed him. He should have been able to play and be happy all day with the other children, but he was always on guard. His ears were always twitching, and he was always glancing around, almost the same way Inuyasha did when he was checking his surroundings. A child like Shippou should have never seen the things that they had all been cursed to see.


As for Kagome. She knew that she had changed. She was braver and stronger than she ever thought that she would be, but for those thing she had paid a price. She would periodically have moments like the one she was in now. Moments where Naraku was still alive in her mind, eating away at her defenses, pleading with her silently to remember the pain that he had caused, and to keep it alive. Thoughts of the jewel were always at the back of her mind. She could have purified it by now, she knew it, but then this would all be over. She would lose Sango and Miroku, Shippou and Kilala, she would never see Inuyasha again. It was something that she could not face.


Slowly her mind unclouded and cleared. Inuyasha had given her a choice last night. Maybe she didn't have to lose any of them. Could the well be wished open forever? The thought filled her with hope and she once again forgot the painful memories she had been remembering just moments before. They would come again soon enough, but for now she wanted to feel nothing but happiness. She would try to do it tonight, after she talked with Kaede, she would wish for the well to remain open for the ones he loved.


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Inuyasha saw Kagome exit the hut that they had all slept in the night before, and walk quickly to Kaed's. He knew why she was going to see the old women. She was going to ask for the old miko's advice, she was going to tell Kaed the wish she had decided on. He balled his fists and pushed his claws into his hands. The pain made the waiting more bearable. Would it work? It has to work.


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"Lady Kaed are you still resting?"


"Aye, but I am awake now, tell me what it is you have come to tell Kagome."


"I have decided on the wish that I want to make on the jewel."


"Aye, and why do you come to me?"


"I wanted to tell you what it was first, I wanted you to..."


"Ahh, you wanted me to tell you what to do. I can not. You know what your heart wants, if you are true to your heart, then your wish will be granted. For ye do not have an evil bone in thee."


"Kaed, I am going to wish that the well remain open...for those that I love."


"Ahh... I figured as much. Be careful with that child. It is okay for you to want the same too, but be sure to tell Midoriko, she will know just the same. It is better to wish for something in full truth, do ye not think so?


"Yes I see what you are saying... I must make the wish for myself too, because truthfully it is the only thing that I want."


"Aye, you are wise beyond your years Kagome."


"Kaed?"


"Yes..."


"If something happens...just...I want to say thank you."


"Tis nothing... now go, make your wish, and fear not Kagome... your wish will be granted...Just have faith."


Kagome reached for Kaed and took her hand, giving it a quick squeeze before she turned to leave. The warm sunlight calmed her fears as she made her way to the well. I have faith, and I know Midoriko will grant me my wish. I just know it.


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