InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Into the East ❯ Revisiting the Past ( Chapter 6 )

A/N: I'm so excited that you like it! I'm not sure how this chapter will go over, but be prepared for some Sesshoumaru soul-searching. Sort of a segue before he can deal with any feelings he may or may not have for Vanessa. If it's too angsty, well… get over it. He'll be back to his old self in no time… or will he? We'll just have to see. Mwahaha.

 

 

Into the East

Chapter six: Revisiting the Past

Characters/Plot originally appearing in the anime/manga Inuyasha © Rumiko Takahashi

Everything else © me

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sesshoumaru could not sleep, but sleep wasn't really the issue. No, ever since meeting Vanessa, his mind would not give him a moment's rest. The whole purpose of taking Rin out of the palace on their little excursion was to take a break from ruling, to enjoy some much-needed relaxation. So far, the experience has been anything but relaxing. In just three days, the strange woman has effectively begun the destruction of every wall, every defense, everything that the taiyoukai had for so many years - centuries - built up around himself, making him into the formidable youkai that he was. He couldn't begin to comprehend how she had gotten under his skin in so short a time, but she stirred feelings and… memories long ago forgotten. Memories Sesshoumaru wished he didn't have to bear.

 

It was dark and Sesshoumaru sat alone in a small clearing in Inuyasha's forest, far from Kaede's village. The cool night air made his hair dance about him to a song only the stars knew, and high overhead the waxing moon shone brightly down on him, making his pale skin glow in an ethereal light. It should have been peaceful. It should have been the perfect setting for mind-clearing meditation. But it wasn't. Sesshoumaru sat cross-legged on a large, flat rock, trying with everything he knew to calm his restless spirit. He closed his eyes tight, willing the long-buried memories to return to their vaults, but the darkness behind his eyelids only served as a pure canvas on which the images may be made anew. Flashes, mere glimpses of the past, haunted the taiyoukai as clearly as if they had occurred only yesterday.

 

“The Inu clan has been betrayed…”

“My mate needs me …”

“Sesshoumaru, I'm so happy…”

“Atsuko! How could you…”

“You are now taiyoukai of the West…”

“It was always about the power, love…”

“This Sesshoumaru… will have vengeance.”

 

He was so naïve then. Necessity made him change, to steel himself against the treachery of others, those who would use him for his power. Betrayal took his trust. Youkai society only knew Sesshoumaru as the ice-hearted taiyoukai, ruthless and unfeeling. The reputation served him well. All those years, no one dared to cross him for fear of inciting his wrath, for not only was he merciless, he was among the most powerful youkai in existence. Few could match his strength and skill, but many had sought to manipulate him. So long ago… Even in love, his enemies - though unknown at the time - sought to take advantage of him. Atsuko. Sesshoumaru laughed, a harsh, humorless sound that was strange even to his own ears. How long since this Sesshoumaru has truly laughed? How long since this Sesshoumaru has smiled? Atsuko, the demoness whom he had loved. Atsuko, the demoness who was to be his mate. Atsuko, the demoness who betrayed him along with his entire clan. The irony was not lost on Sesshoumaru that the demoness who was the cause for him locking away his own emotions, never again to be used by others, was through her namesake called `profound emotion'.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Atsuko was the first-born princess of the Golden Eagle tribe, valued allies to Sesshoumaru's father, the great Inu no Taisho. Sesshoumaru and Atsuko had known each other from the time that they were pup and fledgling together, and they were practically inseparable throughout their childhood. It was only natural that they should begin a formal courtship when they grew old enough to take mates. At that time Sesshoumaru was free with his emotions. He had always tended toward the more serious, but had no reason to hide his feelings, and, with Atsuko, he didn't. He laughed, smiled, loved… The love he thought they shared led the Inu clan nearly to ruin.

 

The friendship, courtship, and love that Atsuko and Sesshoumaru shared were all a ruse, designed by the Eagle clan to gain access to the Western Lands. Atsuko's father, Kinkazu, was among the Inu no Taisho's most trusted advisors. He had lands of his own and wealth, but most of all, he held the confidence of the taiyoukai of the West. Any other youkai would be thrilled to be in his position, but secretly he wanted more. He found his opportunity the moment the Inu no Taisho took Inuyasha's human mother, Izayoi, as his mate - the same time that Sesshoumaru began courting Atsuko. Kinkazu spread rumors that the Inu no Taisho was weakening in mind and body; his mating with the human only proved it. His clever words caused malcontent throughout the Western Lands, though no one could yet trace it back to the trusted advisor.

 

Nearly a year went by as the Inu no Taisho's reign slowly disintegrated, during which time Izayoi became pregnant with Inuyasha. Proper courtships among youkai may last years or even decades; they live long enough that the tradition is hardly an inconvenience, and taking a mate is a very serious commitment that ultimately involves the binding of both souls. It is not to be taken lightly and the bond is not easily broken. So during this time, Sesshoumaru and Atsuko were in the relatively early stages of their courtship. It was then that Sesshoumaru caught the first taste of what would become a most sinister betrayal, though at that point, he felt it primarily on a personal level.

 

Sesshoumaru's palace now holds a mere fraction of the clan's former retainers, but under the Inu no Taisho's rule the halls were fairly bursting at the seams with youkai. Youki seeped so thickly into the consciousness of everyone within the walls that it was often easier to rely on physical senses to become aware of one's surroundings. This is where Inu youkai and Eagle youkai differed. Atsuko and Sesshoumaru were a formidable pair on the battlefield; Sesshoumaru's extraordinary hearing and sense of smell complimented Atsuko's eyesight perfectly, but that sensory difference ultimately led to the Eagle clan's own undoing. Sesshoumaru had just returned from a trip and was eager to find his mate-to-be. He had brought back a gift, a trinket really, for Atsuko to add to her collection of porcelain figures and wanted to give it to her. As he rounded the corner on her hall, his keen ears caught her musical voice, though the words she spoke sounded discordant to his ears. The young prince stopped, uncertain whether to make himself known or to wait and listen a little longer. Normally he opposed eavesdropping, but this time he waited; she was talking about him, talking about how easily she had bent him to her will, that his love for her was his greatest weakness and had set her father's plan in motion.

 

Atsuko spoke nothing more of her father's plan and eventually the subject changed to other mundane things that females seemed to love to chatter on about. Sesshoumaru turned on his heel and walked swiftly to his quarters, his heart breaking a little more with each step. She had used him. All his life his best friend and soon to be mate had used him, and for what? Some plan of her father's? A part of his brain told him to focus on what that plan might be, but at the moment his heart overruled any logic that he might have possessed. She had called him weak. The Inu clan was anything but weak, and Sesshoumaru was no exception, but if loving Atsuko made him weak, he didn't want to be strong. Sesshoumaru was young, vibrant, handsome and full of life, but that afternoon, he felt the crushing weight of heartbreak and personal betrayal more acutely than anything he had ever known. His Atsuko had thought him weak, used him, and in all those years he had never even suspected.

 

Well, if that was the way she wanted to play, so be it. Sesshoumaru the lover began to be overcome by Sesshoumaru the leader, Sesshoumaru the demon lord, as he is known today. That Sesshoumaru would want to sulk in his chambers, wallowing in self-pity, wondering what he could have done differently, but not this Sesshoumaru. This Sesshoumaru would take action. But not at first, no. He would plan, gather information, regain ground he had unwittingly lost. He would make it known that this Sesshoumaru would not be used. This Sesshoumaru is not weak. This Sesshoumaru displays his feelings for no one.

 

That night at dinner, Sesshoumaru donned for the first time the impassive mask that would become his trademark. It was difficult, to say the least, to look his betrothed in the eye and not scream at her Why can't you take my love simply for what it is? Why do you think so little of me after all this time that you could use me as a pawn in your little game? Atsuko! How could you do this to me? But he remained silent, biding his time, not yet trusting his voice. Sesshoumaru locked his heart away that evening, unsure whether he would ever bring it out again. The cold, silent, unfeeling Sesshoumaru was born that day because of a love that went wrong. He would only find out later how very wrong indeed.

 

Mid-way through Izayoi's pregnancy, the Inu no Taisho received word of a Dragon youkai amassing a great army bent on invading the Western Lands. He would have to gather his own troops and meet them in battle, though he did not yet know who the Dragon lord was, or his reason for invasion. It didn't matter really. The simple fact was that his lands would soon fall under attack and he needed to defend his people, and for the first time, Sesshoumaru found himself in complete, indefinite control, of the reign that would one day be his.

 

For the past several months, he had been roaming the far reaches of his father's lands, rooting out trouble and putting a halt to minor disturbances. He quickly found that his presence as son and heir of the Inu no Taisho, as well as his newfound cold, calculating calm, was enough to cow even the most irate mobs into submission. He even led a few minor skirmishes against raiders on the borders. His men held him in high regard, despite his relatively young age, and turned to him as a valued leader. When Sesshoumaru dealt out justice in his father's name, his enemies found no mercy in his eyes and he quickly developed the reputation of being ruthless, yet honorable and just. He was not a bloodthirsty warmonger, but neither was he overly lenient in the pettiness that had developed in some of the villages. The villages under his surveillance soon learned that Sesshoumaru did not tolerate their games, and adopted a fearful sort of respect for the demon prince, knowing that they would have his protection if they should need it, but only if he felt they deserved it.

 

Sesshoumaru's reputation as a powerful youkai was growing steadily when he was summoned to return to the palace to take charge until his father returned. Thus far he had been avoiding Atsuko, speaking with her only occasionally and briefly between assignments, but the time had come to face the demoness he had loved. The time had come to demand the truth.

 

The Inu no Taisho briefed Sesshoumaru on his duties when he returned to the palace. It wouldn't be anything too complicated - unless the dragons managed to break through the defenses, which wasn't likely. The inexperienced soldiers would continue to train and would be sent out to rotate with the experienced youkai, should the battle last that long. Medical supplies would be prepared and he would see to the safety of the villages immediately surrounding the palace. Watch of the farther-reaching villages would be delegated to trusted leaders.

 

Before setting off to gather his troops, the Inu no Taisho called Sesshoumaru into his study. There had hardly been a moment for quiet conversation since Sesshoumaru's return and the prince was eager to have a few precious moments of his father's time. He knocked softly on the door before poking his head in, “You wished to see me, Father?”

“Sesshoumaru! Come in, come in.” Sesshoumaru stepped into the office and bowed before taking a seat opposite his father's large wooden desk. The youkai lord set aside a stack of papers and scrolls before smiling warmly at his son. “I have been going over reports of your assignments on the border.” Sesshoumaru adopted his now-familiar stoic mask, uncertain how his father would react to the measures he had taken in calming the riotous borderlands. However, though he didn't show it, the Inu no Taisho's next words were a pleasant surprise. “I'm pleased that you were able to settle the disturbances so quickly, Sesshoumaru. I am proud of you. You are becoming every bit the demon lord I knew you would be. Now, I must take my leave and see about this Ryuukossei and his army. Izayoi will be staying with her family until I return. It is best that she be with other humans should she give birth before my return.” Sesshoumaru suppressed a shudder at that last remark. His father, the great taiyoukai and Inu no Taisho had willingly sired a hanyou. It was not something that Sesshoumaru could easily stomach. He had pride in his heritage and would never so besmirch the bloodline. But… this was his father. He would bear it for no other reason than the respect he held for him, though it didn't mean that he had to like his unborn sibling.

 

Sesshoumaru left his father's study and sought out his betrothed. He had avoided her long enough and now it was time to learn the truth. He followed the familiar path to her quarters and quickly caught her scent. She was alone in the room, bent over a table perusing some scroll or another. As he approached, his shadow slid across her form. No matter how he tried, he could not forget how beautiful she was. Her tawny golden locks, tipped in black, reached just below her shoulder blades. Her features were striking, complementing her exotic markings - barely visible copper feather patterns surrounding her eyes. Her eyes were what had first captured him, even as a child. They were intense and round and brilliantly yellow. As he blocked her light, Atsuko started and looked up. It took a moment for her to recognize the silhouette, but when she did, she smiled up at him, “Sesshoumaru, I'm so happy you've returned.”

“Indeed.” Atsuko knit her brow and pouted at his slightly cold tone, then, overstepping protocol, Sesshoumaru slid the screen shut behind him. “Atsuko, we must talk.”

“Of course. You've been so busy, we haven't been able to spend any prop-”

“Do you love me?” He caught her off guard.

“W-what? How can you ask such a thing?”
“Answer me. Do you love me?” His voice was even, never once betraying the heartbreak she had caused so few months ago.

“You know very well how I feel about you.” More than you know he thought.

“You are avoiding the question. Tell me the truth. Do you or do you not love me?”

“Oh very well, if you must hear the words, I -”

“Do NOT,” he barked, cutting her off, “lie to me.”

“What is the meaning of this? Who do you think you are to come barging in here, demanding confirmation of your love?”

“Ah, but that's just it, isn't it? It was never about my love.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Do not play games with me. Or do you think this Sesshoumaru weak?” Her eyes grew wide. She had never before heard such a commanding tone in his voice, especially not directed at her. “Perhaps you were right. Perhaps the love this Sesshoumaru had for you was a weakness, but no more. You will see. This Sesshoumaru will not be so easily used and cast aside. You will tell me what you have been plotting behind my back and my father's.”

 

He took a step toward her and she cringed slightly. Never had she expected such a dark countenance on her would-be mate, but then she straightened, regaining a semblance of the dignity of her race before addressing him, “Oh, Sesshou-chan.” Sesshoumaru cringed inwardly; how he hated that pet name of hers. Was his given name so difficult? “I suppose now that I've been found out, I should confess. You were right. It never really was about you. It was always about the power, love. The power you already possess, the power you will inherit. Power beyond anything my clan could have imagined. And it will be mine.” He regarded her for a long moment with an impassive eye before finally responding, “I think not.”

“The plan has already been set in motion, Sesshoumaru! There's nothing you or your father can do now.”

“There is something I can do. If anyone should benefit from this plan of yours, it shall not be you.” Sesshoumaru slowly reached into the collar of his kimono and lifted a gold chain from around his neck. From it hung a colorful jewel; as was custom, the courting pair had exchanged a small gift for each of them to wear on their person as a symbol of the mating mark that would eventually take its place. With this jewel, I announce to all that you are my intended. The prince turned sad eyes from the jewel to the demoness, eyes in which Atsuko would never again see the emotion for which she had so criticized him. He turned his back on her and slid open the door once more. Turning a cold, hard look on Atsuko, he let the jewel slide through his clawed fingers, saying, “Atsuko, we are finished.” The dull `thunk' of the jewel hitting the floor finalized his statement better even than the soft click of the door behind him.

 

If Sesshoumaru took nothing else from the namesake of his bloodline, he was relentless in his investigations. He did not get the answers he desired from Atsuko, but there would be time enough to question her when he had more information. For now, he had to determine whom he trusted enough to gather said information. As he strode toward his own chambers, he thought of the long list of advisors and retainers that his father held; some he hardly knew but a few others had gained his own trust over the years. Myouga. Of course. The little flea was as loyal as they come, and careful. He valued his own life far too much to ever think about getting caught. Besides, his small size made him perfect as an operative. Now it was just a matter of finding the tiny youkai. Sesshoumaru would not have to wait long; the flea had a habit of breaking peaceful silences with an impetuous bite, preferring the taste of his dog demon lords to any other. Sesshoumaru had merely to wait him out.

 

True to his nature, Myouga made an appearance while Sesshoumaru read through some reports in his small, personal library. He had just reached the end of a scroll when he felt a pinprick on the back of his neck. With a sigh, Sesshoumaru slapped his neck and brought his hand up to his face with the tiny youkai caught firmly between two claws.

“Oh, but master! I haven't had the opportunity to taste your young, especially tasty blood in so long. I couldn't live with myself knowing that you have returned and I had not paid proper respects.” Sesshoumaru rose and smoothly closed the door, before addressing the flea.

“Myouga.” The tiny youkai fell silent at his young master's impassive yet commanding tone and thought to himself that it had been a very long time indeed for him not to have noticed the change in Sesshoumaru's demeanor. Sesshoumaru continued, “As acting taiyoukai until the return of the Inu no Taisho, this Sesshoumaru has a task for you.”

“Yes, m'lord?”

“I have received word of a plot against my father and perhaps myself. I know not the nature of this plot, though it would seem that the Golden Eagle tribe is not content with my father's generosity thus far. This Sesshoumaru is too… involved with the tribe to properly and discreetly gain information. It would seem that Kinkazu and Atsuko are behind it. Atsuko has told me that the plan is already set in motion. I need you to find out what that plan is and what they expect the result to be.”

“Yes, m'lord, I will do as you say.” Sesshoumaru raised an elegant brow and allowed a small smirk to grace his lips.

“And Myouga, if you do well and discreetly gather information, you will have no worry of your life being in danger.”

“Master! That's not fair! I am nothing if not your humble servant.”

“Indeed. Go now,” Sesshoumaru set the tiny youkai on his table, “Return to me when you have information.”

“Right away, m'lord!” When he was dismissed, the flea bounded to the door and wriggled through a gap at the floorboards. Sesshoumaru returned to his scrolls. And now, to wait.

 

It was nearly six weeks before Myouga returned to Sesshoumaru with any information of great value. Until then, all he had been able to gather was a running list of names of those who seemed sympathetic to the Eagle tribe - more names than Sesshoumaru would have liked. Once again, the demon prince was in his library; he had grown to greatly appreciate the solitude the small room offered after a day in the constant press of his retainers and advisors.

 

Myouga hopped up on the table and bowed before addressing Sesshoumaru. “Master, I've found out something of the eagles' plans that might be of some use.” Sesshoumaru set aside his papers and looked at the flea.

“Go on.”

“M'lord, it concerns the dragon Ryuukossei. It seems that Kinkazu made a deal with Ryuukossei, that the dragons would destroy the Inu no Taisho in battle in exchange for a portion of the Western Lands, which Kinkazu would take through Atsuko as your mate or by overthrowing you by force.”

“Is that so. I have ended my courtship with Atsuko, so that only leaves what will prove to be a futile attempt on his part to overthrow this Sesshoumaru. It would seem that the eagles have mistakenly underestimated the inu-youkai. In the end this will prove to be in our favor. You have done well, Myouga. Spread the word to those whom you are certain are loyal, that when the time comes, they must come if called.”

“Yes, m'lord, then if I may, I take my leave.”

Sesshoumaru nodded, pulling the list of those loyal to the eagles from a stack. He had known some of those youkai since he was a pup, but betrayal was not to be tolerated. He would eliminate them with his own hands if he had to.

 

Sesshoumaru allowed several more weeks to pass before making his move. He had received word from his father that the two opposing armies were at something of a standstill. The time had come. Sesshoumaru sent for his fastest messenger, a young falcon-youkai by the name of Kiyoshi, and set to writing a response to his father. If Kiyoshi met with little resistance, he would reach the Inu no Taisho's camp by sundown.

 

Honorable Father,

The Inu clan has been betrayed by none other than the Golden Eagles who had for so long been loyal. This Sesshoumaru will dispose of the traitors in your absence. Be wary of Ryuukossei as he is in league with the eagles. They mean to take over the Western Lands together. Fight well and bravely, Father.

 

Your son and heir,

Sesshoumaru

 

As Sesshoumaru placed his personal seal on the missive, a knock sounded on his door.

“Enter.”

Kiyoshi bowed low and entered the library, “You sent for me, my lord?”

“You are to take this message to my father. Travel as fast as you know how. It is important that he receive this message as soon as possible, preferably before nightfall. Give it to no one but the Inu no Taisho.” He handed the message over, “And if you should be intercepted, do not hesitate to destroy the message and return to me at once.”

The dismissal was clear and Kiyoshi walked calmly out of the room and then out of the palace where he discreetly transformed to his bird form and sped off to the north. Sesshoumaru knew that he could trust the young messenger and had little worry that the message would make it safely into his father's hands. There should be little trouble; Myouga's reports gave no indication that the eagles knew he was on to them more than his questioning of Atsuko months prior. Sesshoumaru would get his answers, and destroy any who stood in his way.

 

Sesshoumaru's confrontation with Kinkazu was surprisingly mild, a disappointment really after lying in wait for so long, preparing his counter attack. It seemed that Ryuukossei and Kinkazu had planned their attacks such that the Inu no Taisho and Sesshoumaru would be destroyed at around the same time, giving neither the opportunity to warn the other, or so they thought. Kinkazu had witnessed Sesshoumaru training on the palace grounds and thought he knew the younger youkai's limits, but he had never seen him truly attack. That night Sesshoumaru was reading in his library when Kinkazu sent a messenger to him, requesting his presence outside. Not very subtle, old bird. Sesshoumaru followed the messenger into the yard and was met with a crowd of agitated youkai, every face matching a name on his list. Myouga had been very thorough and it seemed that he had not left anyone out.

 

Seeing Sesshoumaru standing alone among the band of traitors, Kinkazu smirked. `This will be too easy,' he thought. He had no idea that Sesshoumaru had a small army of his own hiding nearby in the guise of palace servants. The prince, however, felt no need to call them yet. It was clear to him that the old eagle continued to underestimate his power. Finally Kinkazu approached Sesshoumaru with Atsuko close on his heels. So, she has come to witness this Sesshoumaru's demise. She is sorely mistaken, if she believes that this Sesshoumaru will succumb so easily.

 

“Sesshoumaru,” Kinkazu began without preamble, “It has been a great many years that I have served your family, and where has it gotten me? A few small holdings, a bit of gold? But still, I sit in the shadow of your father. No more. Even as we speak, the dragon Ryuukossei is eliminating his presence from the earth. I want your land, Sesshoumaru, and I will have it. Soon the Eagles will reign supreme over the Western Lands and the great Inu clan will fall into ruin. Kneel to me, Sesshoumaru, and you might live. Resist and you will surely die.” The eagle ended his speech then, waiting for the prince's response.

Sesshoumaru snorted. “I think not.” Kinkazu faltered at Sesshoumaru's cool, calm tone. He had not struck an ounce of fear into the dog demon's heart, but quickly he recovered, calling his men into action.

 

The circle of youkai closed in while Kinkazu and Atsuko stepped back to watch. It would still be a great many years before Sesshoumaru had the evil sword Toukijin forged, but even with an ordinary katana, he was a formidable opponent. Sesshoumaru whirled and leapt, weapons clashing around him in his dance with death. He blocked, parried, attacked, counter-attacked, and none of the youkai could touch him. His claws glowed green with poison as he slashed. His youki whip cut cleanly through the masses. All who witnessed the attack fully came to understand the true meaning behind his namesake. `Killing Perfection.' `Destroyer of Life.' Though blood flew everywhere from his attacks, Sesshoumaru's white silk remained spotless. He was an artist, each attacker a fresh canvas on which to perfect his technique. Finally, Sesshoumaru alone stood among the bodies, facing his father's most trusted advisor and his daughter, whom the prince himself had loved. He spoke to them, low and cold, his voice devoid of any emotion but the pure disdain he held for their traitorous souls, “You have made a mistake in underestimating this Sesshoumaru. You thought to betray me and mine, used me my entire life for your petty gain and you will pay for it with your lives.”

 

Sesshoumaru approached the lone pair slowly, his heart beating a cadence in his ears in his march of death. In one swift stroke he cut down Kinkazu, a death more painless than he deserved, and dropped his blade. Atsuko screamed as he advanced on her next, catching her by the throat, choking off her screams and her air. She looked at him, pleading, and managed to choke out, “Sesshoumaru… don't you… love… me?” He looked at her coldly, masking his turmoil over what he was about to do.

“Any love I might have held for you died the day you turned that love against me.” She knew it was true. She opened her mouth, trying in vain to get a breath past the iron grip of Sesshoumaru's hand, but it was useless. In the end, she stilled, the light in her eyes flickering and fading into a dull, lifeless stare. Sesshoumaru lowered her to the ground and cradled her still form to his chest, allowing the world to come crashing down upon him just for a moment. We could have been wonderful together, if only you could have seen past your father's greed. The first and only love of his life was gone, died by his own hands, and Sesshoumaru knew that it would haunt him for the rest of his many, many days. He laid her down and rose, retrieving his sword and settling into the familiar - now comfortable - mask of indifference and strode to the palace. The bodies would be disposed of by morning, he knew. Such things were part of life as a youkai. Often it was a savage kill-or-be-killed existence, but it was what he knew. It was part of his being. Life continued on as Sesshoumaru wrote a brief account of the short battle to his father. He set the letter aside until Kiyoshi returned and then retired to his bed. It had been a long day.

 

Days turned into weeks and the Inu no Taisho had not yet returned, nor had Sesshoumaru received word from him. He could only assume that his father was engaged in an epic battle with the dragon - it was not unheard of for a pair to battle incessantly for weeks at a time - or that Kiyoshi, along with all of the great dog general's army had been destroyed. In the days after his dispatching of Kinkazu and his group of traitors, Sesshoumaru was regarded in the halls of the palace with fearful glances and hasty bows. They all knew now of the betrayal to the Inu clan, yet for someone to single-handedly reap so much destruction in so short a time caused a fear deep in their cores that was not easily removed. Sesshoumaru, however, found that a healthy amount of fear from his subordinates suited him. He was stern, but never cruel; his subjects knew of his honor, yet also knew that he would not hesitate to shed blood if the need arose. Whispers arose praising the strength and honor of the Inu clan, whispers that had not been heard since the Inu no Taisho took Izayoi as his mate. What would happen when Sesshoumaru's father returned? Would he return?

 

Finally, one afternoon, while Sesshoumaru was making his rounds of the palace grounds, a gate runner approached him, panting. He had clearly been searching the entire grounds for the young lord.

“Sesshoumaru…-sama! Your… father has… returned. He's… wounded.” Sesshoumaru nodded and turned back toward the palace as the runner slumped against a tree, trying to catch his breath. The Inu no Taisho's wounds must indeed have been severe for them not to heal in the time it took to return from the northern border. He reached his father's chambers and waited patiently while the palace healers picked up where the field medics left off. There was a lot of blood. The white-robed healers bustled about the room in a strange sort of dance, trying to be everywhere at once, yet never getting in the way of the others. Sesshoumaru knew not to interrupt; he would get the opportunity to speak with his father soon enough.

 

When the bandages finally held without being immediately soaked through with blood, the healers filed out of the room, giving Sesshoumaru firm instructions not to let his father get too excited. He was to remain on the futon until they deemed him healed enough to move. Sesshoumaru silently crossed the room and knelt beside the futon, waiting for his father to open his eyes.

“Sesshoumaru,” the Inu no Taisho's voice was soft; Sesshoumaru had never heard his father sound so weak.

“Father, what happened?” It was hard for him to believe that there was a being powerful enough to reduce his father to such a state.

“Ryuukossei was stronger than I had expected. We fought for two weeks, neither of us gaining an inch of ground over the other until, in a last desperate attempt on both our parts to end it, we struck at one another. He tore at my side with his teeth, but I caught him, pinning him to the mountain. One of my fangs broke in his belly and I sealed him where he lay.” Sesshoumaru's father fell silent for a time and he thought he might have fallen asleep, but then his eyes fluttered open again. “I could not destroy Ryuukossei. He only sleeps, frozen by the seal, but with their leader disposed of, the rest of the dragons quickly disbanded and returned to their home. I let them go. My men carried me home. I couldn't even walk on my own. I faded in and out of consciousness until I came safely into my palace.” Sesshoumaru rose, seeing that his father was tired.

“Sleep now, father. I will see to it that no one disturbs your rest.” Sesshoumaru turned toward the door and thought he heard his father utter something like, “Good son” before succumbing to unconsciousness.

 

Sesshoumaru's father slept through the night and all of the next day, but that night when Sesshoumaru came to check on him, there was a great commotion coming from his room.

“She is my mate and I WILL go to her!” the Inu no Taisho roared as Sesshoumaru approached. The healers were trying to convince him that he was still too injured to travel, even as far as the lady's village. They even went so far as to try and physically restrain him and block his exit. Sesshoumaru stepped silently to the doorway; he could see that his father's bandages were starting to turn crimson again as he pace the room. The youkai blocking the door still had not noticed the prince's presence so he took a step closer.

“Stand aside.” The healer nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of Sesshoumaru's voice so close behind her.

“Sesshoumaru-sama! Please, you have to try to stop him. His wounds are opening again and he really shouldn't be traveling.” Sesshoumaru looked past her to his father, who had quieted at his son's approach, silently challenging his son, daring Sesshoumaru to try and stop him.

“Leave us,” was the cold command of the prince.

 

The fleet of healers quickly scurried out of the room, confident that their prince would talk some sense into their lord. Sesshoumaru slid the door closed behind them and turned to his father. “Sesshoumaru,” the Inu no Taisho began, “I do not need to explain myself. My mate needs me, and I will go to her. She is in pain and I can feel her fear. I cannot afford to lose her.” Too… He cannot afford to lose her as he did mother… at my birth. Sesshoumaru knew of the mating bond, that both mates had an almost physical connection to one another, feeling what the other felt. If his father felt his mate needed him, there would be no stopping him, injuries or not.

“Father, do you insist on going?”

“Do you intend to stop me, Sesshoumaru?” Sesshoumaru studied his father for a long moment, taking in both the injuries and the determined look in his eyes.

“I will not stand in your way,” he said coldly.

 

The Inu no Taisho regarded his son, as though seeing him for the first time, “Sesshoumaru, you have changed. You've grown cold these past months. It has no doubt made you into a formidable youkai, yet…” He was silent for a time, gazing out the window at the moon then turned back to his son. Sesshoumaru was surprised at his change sudden change in tack when his father spoke again, “Tell me, Sesshoumaru. Have you someone to protect?”

I had someone to protect. I would have protected her with my life, and she tossed me aside, plotted to kill me. He narrowed his eyes slightly at his father, “Why would I have any reason to waste my time protecting someone?” His answer seemed to disappoint his father.

“Sesshoumaru, I understand that you hurt, but do not so easily give up on love.”

“That love was my greatest weakness. I will not so easily trust in it again.”

 

The great dog demon left then. Neither would know that this conversation would be their last, and Sesshoumaru was to be left with a hanyou half-brother, a brother that Sesshoumaru's own father had died to protect. And Izayoi. His father's human mate. Irrational though it may be, he blamed her. Had she not been his mate, or had she been youkai herself, she would not have needed Sesshoumaru's father to save her and he would still be alive. He left to go to her in her human village where she and the hanyou pup were being threatened and, already injured, he paid for her safety with his life. The next morning Kinkazu's replacement, a tiger-youkai, came to Sesshoumaru with the news. “Sesshoumaru-sama, it grieves me to report that your honored father has been slain. As his heir, you are now taiyoukai of the West.”

 

The news settled on Sesshoumaru's shoulders like a boulder. His father died. His father… died? The thought was inconceivable - his father couldn't die. He was the most powerful youkai that Sesshoumaru knew of. He was larger than life; he would rule the Western Lands for centuries, millennia to come. Except that he wouldn't. Because of an eagle, a dragon and a human woman, Sesshoumaru was robbed of everything he once held dear. Atsuko… Father… He was brought out of his thoughts once again by the advisor's voice, “Sesshoumaru-sama, your brother Inuyasha and his mother survived. Shall they be sent for?”

Sesshoumaru glared at him, making the tiger-youkai draw back at the force of his gaze, and in a voice that could have frozen the sun, he spoke, “This Sesshoumaru has no brother. What happens to the hanyou and his… mother is no concern of mine.”

“Understood. Sesshoumaru-sama.” The advisor bowed and excused himself from Sesshoumaru's presence.

 

In the silence of his library, Sesshoumaru felt his grief fully descend upon him. He allowed himself a moment before settling back into his impassive mask, twisting his emotions, molding his grief into an iron ball in his core. His loss would only make him stronger. Now there were no attachments, no one to be used against him, no one to use him. The iron weight in the pit of his very being served as a reminder to Sesshoumaru that attachments were a liability. For more than two centuries Sesshoumaru built his reputation and power. He would become the icy youkai lord, untouchable and untouched. He would keep no friends, offer no insight to his feelings. He would become ruthless in battle, never relenting, never showing mercy when his honor came into question. Throughout those long years, one name never ceased to trigger Sesshoumaru's wrath. Inuyasha. One name that his people quickly learned never to utter in his presence. Inuyasha. The only connection Sesshoumaru still had to the year he changed the course of his destiny. Inuyasha.

 

This Sesshoumaru will have vengeance.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

More than two hundred years after the death of his father, Sesshoumaru found himself sitting alone on a rock in a forest named after his brother, and he found his thoughts turning to the brother that he had for so long wanted to eliminate. In a strange twist of fate, Sesshoumaru discovered that he shared something besides a father with the hanyou. Inuyasha had also been betrayed by his first love - the miko Kikyou. Fifty years sealed to a tree had been the price for his love, and yet… he had opened his heart again. He may not fully realize his love for the new miko, but it was there. Just because Sesshoumaru had locked his own feelings away, did not mean that he was ignorant to the same in others. And the hanyou had friends. The unlikely group was as close a pack as any Sesshoumaru had seen. For the first time… ever, Sesshoumaru felt the pang of jealousy, and of his half-brother no less. How did he do it? Scorned and abused, as Inuyasha was his entire life, the hanyou had learned to open his heart to the ragtag group of humans and youkai alike. Sesshoumaru knew that Inuyasha would fight to protect them, and however futile the attempt may be; he would protect them with his life. It's true, then, what they say… that Inuyasha is his father's son.

 

Have you someone to protect? Sesshoumaru's last conversation with his father returned to haunt him. The Inu no Taisho had died to protect someone, and Inuyasha would die to protect someone. Where did that leave Sesshoumaru? Alive, naturally, yet… alone. Why do I care about what happens to Rin, or Vanessa for that matter? Surely my actions have reason. Has Inuyasha seen something in me that I have sworn never again to allow?

 

Sesshoumaru's thoughts shifted again to the enigma that was the human woman from the future. He still didn't know what to make of her or his actions toward her. She ran to him blindly and he had saved her, helped her try and find her way home, but why? She had seemed to trust him, though at first there was no way she could have known who or what he was. When she did learn, she had shown him the proper respect due to his station, and yet… it felt wrong. For reasons Sesshoumaru could not fathom, he didn't want her to cower before him; he wanted respect, true, but not fear from the woman.

 

Vanessa was new and fresh. She had no preconceptions of what he should be. Somehow, she didn't feel the terror that most other humans did in his presence, but neither was she filled with a jealous greed like so many other youkai that he had encountered, wanting only a taste of his power. What should he do about her? Never in his life had Sesshoumaru met anyone like her. She seemed so helplessly innocent, but he knew she was strong in her core. How else could she have survived traveling through space and time without running and screaming like a lunatic? She greeted every new experience and challenge with an almost absurd curiosity. Her curiosity will surely get her into trouble. He didn't know how to react to her. So far he had only shown her the cool impassive mask that he showed everyone else, and probably would for a long time yet, but for how long? Already there were times when he wanted nothing more than to see her smile.

 

It didn't make sense. Didn't Sesshoumaru profess to despise humans? And yet, he had taken her under his protection until they reached the miko. Why not leave her there? Why open his home to her? The half-breed can hardly protect his own friends, let alone mine. Friend? Sesshoumaru didn't have friends. He had acquaintances, subjects, allies, perhaps, but not friends. And he bought her a gift. She needed proper clothing.

 

In an uncharacteristic show of frustration, Sesshoumaru scrubbed a hand over his face, trying to dispel the confusion that had settled on him, and rested his chin in the crook of his thumb and forefinger. He absently focused his gaze on a point on the rock before him. It had been a long time since he had felt so unsettled.

 

A songbird broke the silence and Sesshoumaru looked up with a slight frown to see that the night had passed without his realizing it. Hn. He was distracted, but no longer tormented, just… confused. He didn't like being confused - it felt like a loss of control, and Sesshoumaru was nothing if not in control. He always knew exactly what he would say, what he would do and when. Now, Sesshoumaru knew that he would have to hurry if he wanted to start the journey home before the sun rose too high. He gracefully unfolded himself from his sitting position and turned toward the village.

 

As he ran swiftly back to the old miko's hut, a white blur to anyone who might have caught a glimpse, he decided that he would wait to see what happened with Vanessa. There was no telling how long she would stay in his time, and in that time he was determined to have his questions answered. He felt the now-familiar presence of Vanessa spark to life in his consciousness, and he smirked to himself. Besides, Rin enjoys her company.

 

 

 

 

A/N:

So, the back-to-the-present bit at the end feels kind of weak to me. I may end up revising it at some point. And, before you shoot me, there's a certain conversation between Sesshoumaru and his father before he dies. You know the one: “do you insist on going…” and so on from the 3rd movie. I know the quotes are out of context and out of order and some of Inu-papa's words were really said to Myouga, BUT the original context isn't where I wanted to take this. Sesshoumaru hadn't stepped onto his path to Supreme Conquest at that point.

 

Anyway, normally the weekend is the most relaxing time of my week - at least Friday and Saturday when I “forget” that I have homework to do, but unfortunately for you, I will be going home for the weekend to see my family, then starts dead week, then finals week after that (one day I will graduate). So it's going to be mad craziness around here. If I don't get anything up after this chapter during the next two weeks, then I promise I'll post something right after I move all my junk home for the summer… maybe the day after, I'll have to take the time to write something after all. So, thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your support and lovely comments. I'm so excited that you actually like my writing. It makes me all giddy when I get those little notices in my mailbox that someone has commented. Alright, with that, know that I may not post for a while, but I shall return to you shortly.

 

Ina-sama, golden_kitsune: Thank you! I'm glad you like it!

 

nessie-poo: Yes, Vanessa is an OC. I tried a couple different names for her when I first started, but Vanessa seemed to fit best. I'm glad you approve

 

Manga Girl: Thanks for yet another lovely comment. Seriously, you make me laugh.