InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Into the East ❯ Time to Go ( Chapter 18 )

A/N 11/27/06: Fixed a few typos and added some minor details here and there

 

A/N: I was really on a role, wasn't I? I had hoped to get this chapter out… wow, about 3 weeks ago, but it sort of stopped itself… and classes started (I come home in the afternoons with an aching brain after trying to decipher both fluid mechanics and German at the same time… it's getting easier, though. A weekend finally came with very little homework and I was all excited to get the rest of this chapter cranked out and… I got sick. Felt like my head was stuffed with cotton and thrown in a vice, my throat hurt, my nose was running like a faucet (I know, you're all thanking me for the details now, aren't you?) and I even had a fever… Last time I had a fever was about 3 years ago, so… I was feeling pretty miserable. Then again, due to my self-prescribed bed rest… or… don't-leave-my-room-until-I'm-feeling-better rest, I really didn't have much else to do but write and watch movies… So write and watch movies I did. Hope it's not too horrible. ;)

 

 

 

Into the East

Chapter eighteen: Time to Go

Posted: 4 November 2006

Characters/Plot originally appearing in the anime/manga Inuyasha © Rumiko Takahashi

Everything else © me

 

 

 

As Vanessa returned to her room she couldn't help grinning. She hated what had happened, hated that Sesshoumaru had been hurt, and most of all, no matter what anyone said, she still blamed herself, but maybe… maybe whatever had happened to him while he slept had been good for him? The scene she had inadvertently walked in on was simply too adorable for words. Rin could hardly hold still while she waited for Saburo to leave, she was that desperate to see that her lord was well and the moment she heard him go she darted through the door before Vanessa could stop her.

 

Vanessa half expected Sesshoumaru to turn Rin away, but she waited and gave them a few moments of privacy before going to check on them. She wasn't at all prepared to see him holding Rin in his lap, looking every part the father, and telling her that he would always watch over her. Vanessa could only stand in the doorway and watch, unwilling to interrupt such a sweet moment, but then he finally noticed her and she left.

 

Now she lay on her bed and couldn't decide what to do. Her days had been so full of watching over Sesshoumaru and keeping Rin from worrying too much, that now she seemed to have an overabundance of free time.. She thought about getting Rin out of Sesshoumaru's hair for a while, but then decided that it wasn't really her place. He would tell her to leave in his own way when he needed to. For now, they should have their moment. Vanessa ran a hand through her hair and cringed at the grittiness she felt on her scalp.

 

“Ugh…” she groaned, sitting up, “that's right…” After Saburo came for her, she hadn't wanted to leave Sesshoumaru long enough to take a real bath. “Well, that settles that.” Vanessa grabbed her bath supplies and eagerly made her way to the bathhouse.

 

After a thorough dunking in the hot water, she squeezed some shampoo into her palm and then held the bottle up in the dim light. “This won't last much longer,” she muttered and set it aside to scrub her hair. I wasn't supposed to have been here this long… How long has it been since I left home? She thought for a moment and then gasped, sitting straight up in the water. “More than two and a half months? It must be almost August!”

 

She briefly thought that whatever hope she'd had of returning in time for the new semester was as good as gone, but it was her family that concerned her more. Almost three months passed and not a word from her. They must be so worried. She thought perhaps she should have sent some note with Kagome to pass along to her family, but then what would they think? That she had been kidnapped? That she ran away? And what would she tell them? `Dear Mom, I've decided to take a spur of the moment trip to Japan. I don't know when I'll be back and there's no way for you to contact me, but don't worry. I'll be fine. Give my love to everyone, Vanessa'

 

“That would go over well,” she muttered to herself. But was leaving them without some sort of closure really any better? And what about Bryce? He only knew that she had just disappeared, with no warning and no reason. All because she had wanted to take a walk and get away for a while. Well, that idea effectively blew up in her face. She certainly was `away' now. But if she hadn't taken that walk, if she hadn't come into this world, she would never have met Sesshoumaru or Rin. If she could do it over again, knowing the consequences, would she have done anything different? Would she give up the experiences she had - both the good and the bad - since coming here?

 

Vanessa groaned and sank under the water to rinse her hair and try to melt her worries away. When she came up, she sighed. It didn't work. She still felt guilty about leaving her family, guilty about Sesshoumaru getting hurt - even though he insists that he doesn't blame her, and guilty about her diminishing feelings for Bryce. That had been going on for some time, but it wasn't until he was taken away from her so completely that she fully realized it. And now she couldn't even talk to him. Was it selfish of her to think that he would wait for her to return? Or maybe he had already moved on. Maybe he felt the same way. Maybe he felt that their relationship had stagnated, too. Was there anything that they could have done, could still do to fix it? Did she want to fix it?

 

Saburo's words came back to her then: “It is because you love him.” That she stoutly refused to believe. How could she have fallen in love with someone in so short a time? That sort of thing only happens in books and movies, and her life was certainly no fairy tale. It simply wasn't probable. It wasn't that the thought of loving Sesshoumaru repulsed her, far from it actually, but she knew that he would never return her feelings. No matter what Saburo said, Sesshoumaru just wouldn't fall for a human like her, would he? No, he made his feelings toward Izayoi and Inuyasha very clear. If by some impossible twist of fate they had a child together, it would be a hanyou, just like Inuyasha. No matter what small part of her might like the idea, she couldn't imagine Sesshoumaru allowing that.

 

Then, as thought he had stepped straight out of her thoughts, Vanessa heard a voice, his voice. “Vanessa,” Sesshoumaru said from the other side of the leafy screen. Instinctively, she sank down and covered herself, though she knew that he couldn't see her through the leaves, and even if he could, he probably had his back to her anyway. That was just the way he was.

 

“Y-yes?” she stuttered.

 

“You are troubled.”

 

Blunt as ever, but she knew it was his way of asking if she wanted to talk. How could she, when half of her problems seemed to stem from him? “It's… It's nothing,” she said finally and was met with silence.

 

She thought he might have left as silently as he came, but then he spoke again, “If you do not wish to talk, you need only say as much. I thought we might have been beyond untruths.”

 

Vanessa winced, now feeling guilty for lying to him. “You're right,” she said, “I'm sorry.” He didn't say anything more, but he didn't leave either. “So… what are you doing down here? Shouldn't you be taking it easy?” She heard his boot crunch on the gravel as he took a step, not toward the exit, but to one of the secluded baths near her.

 

“Three weeks is a long time not to have a proper bath,” he said simply, “and the healers have recommended some herbs that are supposed speed recovery.”

 

It took a moment for Vanessa to realize what he was doing until she heard the swish of fabric and a small splash as he stepped into the water - directly on the other side of the suddenly thin veil of leaves next to her. “You're… um… going to have your bath here?” She blushed as she remembered walking in on him where he bathed in that topmost spring. Why didn't he go there? Why did he have to be… naked… with only a few leaves separating them?

 

“Yes,” he said, and Vanessa could hear the smirk in his voice. “I find I quite like the solitude this area provides.”

 

“You know… if you wanted to find out what was bothering me… this is not the way to go about doing it.”

 

“Perhaps, but now you are not thinking so heavily on your troubles, are you? Now you are more concerned with whether or not you should be embarrassed by the close proximity of an unclothed male.”

 

He was right. It was sweet, it a strange sort of way. If she didn't want to talk, then he seemed to be doing what he could to take her mind off of whatever was bothering her. She heard the tearing of paper from Sesshoumaru's side. “What is that?” Vanessa asked, her curiosity pushing all else from her mind.

 

“Medicinal herbs,” Sesshoumaru said with an air of disgust, but he took a deep breath as the fumes rose on the steam of the water. He sneezed once, but continued to soak and breathe in the essence of the herbs.

 

As the scent sifted through the leaves to Vanessa's side, she wrinkled her nose at the potency. No wonder he didn't seem thrilled. “Woah, did they forget you are a dog demon? That's strong, even to my nose.”

 

“It makes one wonder.”

 

“What is it supposed to do?”

 

“I am not certain, they only said that it should help.”

 

“Hm, it better, because I think you're going to reek of this stuff for days.” Vanessa giggled and imagined Sesshoumaru scowling at her when he didn't respond. Then she sighed. “Do you really want to know what I was thinking about before you came?” Silence. He was the type to tell her when he didn't want to hear, rather than when he did, so she continued. “I was thinking that it's been more than two and a half months… moon cycles… since I left home. I've hardly thought about going home at all, and I feel awful because my family must be so worried. They have no idea where I am, much less when I am, but even if I sent a note back through the well with Kagome, what would I tell them? When… if I get home, what do I tell them? How do I tell them where I've been?”

 

Sesshoumaru was quiet, thinking over his response, and Vanessa waited. “There was nothing you could do,” he said finally.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“A rash decision perhaps on your part, coming through to this time, but once you were here and found you could not return by either of two known methods, what else could you do but adapt. Perhaps…”

 

“What?” she probed gently.

 

“Perhaps I should have looked harder for a way to send you home. Then you could have been home sooner.”

 

Such an admission coming from Sesshoumaru was a shock. “I couldn't ask you to do more than you already have. Besides, I… I like it here. I'll be sad to leave when the time comes.”

 

Sesshoumaru didn't say anything after that and Vanessa looked down at her hands. “I'm pruney,” she announced and stood, quickly wrapping a towel around herself. “I'm going to get dressed and take a walk. Don't stay in here too long” She heard him make a sound in his throat as she put on her robe and took it to mean he heard. Whether or not he took her advice was another matter.

 

VvVvVvVvV

 

Sesshoumaru stayed in the spring only a short while longer. It wouldn't do to have survived what everyone seemed to think the un-survivable, only to fall asleep and drown in the bath. That combined with the fact that he was growing accustomed to the smell of the potent herbs, and consequently feared for the health of his nose, was enough to convince him that he had spent enough time getting clean.

 

He hauled himself up out of the water and pulled his long hair over one shoulder to squeeze most of the water out then donned his robe and began the short journey back to his room, where he would put on more appropriate clothing. At the base of the staircase, he paused only for a moment. Stairs… he grumbled silently as he made his way up. It was easier than it had been last night, but not by much - just enough to tell him that his strength really was returning. Just a little farther, he told himself as he topped the final flight of stairs and strode confidently toward his door.

 

Once inside, his keen hearing told him that no one else was near, so he allowed himself a moment to lean back against the closed door. This is going to be a long recovery. He still couldn't believe that he had let this happen for a human… for Vanessa… What had possessed him to do such a thing?

 

`But you would protect me, wouldn't you? If we were friends?'

 

Was that what it meant to have friends? To put one's life on the line simply to ensure their safety? Inuyasha seemed to have no trouble doing so. Sesshoumaru growled softly. He was not about to start comparing his life with that of his half-breed brother. At about that moment, there was a knock on the door, startling him and causing him to jump lightly away, eternally grateful that no one was there to see.

 

“Come,” he said evenly, as though nothing were amiss.

 

Saburo entered first, followed by a pair of servants carrying a writing desk between them. “Where would you like the desk, my lord?” Sesshoumaru motioned toward his bedroom and left it to them to find a place for it. He knelt at the low table to wait and poured himself a cup of tea. Sounds of scuffling and moving furniture drifted to him through the open door, but he ignored it in favor of resuming the train of thought that had been interrupted by Saburo's appearance.

 

His father had gone to his death defending the human that he loved… was that to be Sesshoumaru's fate as well? But he hadn't died. With Vanessa's help, he had survived. What did that mean? What sort of bond had they formed that she could reach into him, even without knowing that she was doing so, and lead him home?

 

“Sesshoumaru-sama?”

 

Sesshoumaru blinked; he had been staring vacantly into his cup and had the vague feeling that this wasn't the first time that Saburo had tried to get his attention. He looked up at the tiger, who wore a concerned expression on his face.

 

“Sesshoumaru-sama, are you well?”

 

The taiyoukai merely grunted his acknowledgment and rose smoothly to his feet to inspect the rearranging of his room. The desk stood where there was once a table in between the two windows. The small table had been moved to the bedside and a stack of scrolls and parchments sat on the surface.

 

“This will do,” he said and picked up the first message in the stack and began to read.

 

“Sesshoumaru-sama, I really think you should rest, at least a day or two more before taking this on.”

 

“I am still lord of these lands,” Sesshoumaru said, never taking his eyes from the parchment, “and while I have breath in my body, it is my duty to see them taken care of. At this moment, that duty demands that I contact the other great lords before conflict arises.”

 

“Hai, my lord. Your duty. I will leave you to it then. Just don't push yourself too hard.”

 

“I know my limits,” Sesshoumaru said coldly, effectively ending the discussion. Saburo gave a stiff bow and exited, but Sesshoumaru heard him mutter exasperatedly, “Maybe you can talk some sense into him,” before the door closed. Moments later, Vanessa appeared in his place.

 

“What was that all about?” she asked.

 

“Saburo is displeased that I wish to resume some of my duties right away.”

 

Vanessa came closer to peer at the paper in his hand, but shrugged when she couldn't decipher the writing. “And just what might those duties be?”

 

“Answering letters and sending confirmation that I am, in fact, very much alive.”

 

She shrugged again. “That doesn't sound so bad. I don't see why you shouldn't be able to start that right away. It's important, isn't it? Since you hold such a high position? Even I know that with the way lands are governed in this time, you can't just leave your enemies - or even your allies - guessing.”

 

Sesshoumaru could have kissed her for that little bout of confidence. He froze and tried to shake off the feeling, but felt his eyes widening in realization at what he had just implied, if only to himself, and he turned deliberately to sift through the pile of correspondences until he could regain his composure. It was difficult, with his heart thudding as it was against his ribs over what he had almost allowed himself to realize, but he finally selected an ornate scroll and turned back to Vanessa. If she noticed anything strange about his behavior, she gave no indication.

 

How was it that she, a foreigner to this time and place, understood what he was doing better than even his advisor? With her knowledge and intuition by his side… No! he snarled savagely within his mind. He would not fall into the same trap that his father had.

 

Sesshoumaru opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came. Even his voice wasn't yet what it should be. He cleared his throat and tried again, “I should get started before it gets too late.”

 

“Okay,” Vanessa said, and then grinned. “If you want a break, let me know. I'm sure between you, me and Rin, we can think of some reasonable excuse for you to get away unmolested.” With that, she strolled cheerfully out of the room, closing the door softly behind her as she went.

 

Sesshoumaru was left staring numbly at the scroll in his hand. It was from the Northern lord. He glanced up at his door once more before settling himself at the desk. Vanessa… What are you doing to me?

 

VvVvVvVvV

 

Several days had passed since Sesshoumaru awoke and things seemed to have settled into a sort of routine again, although Sesshoumaru seemed to be acting a little strange since waking up. Sometimes he ignored Vanessa or avoided her, other times she caught him staring at her intently, as though he couldn't figure her out. In those moments, she found her belly fluttering with butterflies and she wondered what suddenly seemed to interest him so much about her. In the end, she always reasoned that he was just wondering how `she' had led him out of the maze of his mind. She was curious about that herself, but no one seemed to have any answers.

 

Vanessa had just been out to visit Shizu with Rin and decided to pay Sesshoumaru a visit while Rin went on to her afternoon lessons. She wasn't surprised to find his bedroom door open; he spent most of his time in there now, but when she crossed the threshold, she paused.

 

Sesshoumaru sat at his desk with his forehead resting in the palm of his hand. Was he sleeping? He'd been trying so hard to keep up appearances, to act as though he hadn't been unconscious for weeks, but even with his youkai healing abilities, how could he expect to be back to normal so quickly? He had only just woken up three days ago, after all.

 

She slid the door closed behind her, just in case anyone came calling. She knew Sesshoumaru well enough to guess that this wasn't a planned rest break and that he wouldn't want anyone to see him display such `weakness.' If she'd really thought about it, she might have also figured that he wouldn't want her to see him like this either, but she had to check on him.

 

Vanessa approached cautiously and laid her hand on his shoulder. The response was immediate. Before she could even get a word out, moment her hand touched his shoulder, he had her wrist in a vice grip. Just a twitch of his hand was all it would take to snap hers, but then, with his head still hanging where that hand had supported it, he sniffed ever so subtly and loosened his hold on her. He even rubbed small circles on the inside of her wrist as if in apology before releasing her and straightening in his seat.

 

“I hate this,” Sesshoumaru said softly, catching Vanessa off guard. She waited silently for him to continue, knowing that no amount of prompting from her would get him to say more than he wanted to. In fact, prying often seemed to get him to clam up more than if she waited patiently. “I have never felt so… so weak.”

 

“If you think that's bad,” Vanessa chimed while helping herself to a seat on his bed, “try being human.”

 

Sesshoumaru turned over his shoulder and stared at her incredulously, which only made her laugh. Apparently, he didn't think that was a funny notion. “Look,” she said, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees, “you have to give yourself time to get better. You've been in pretty rough shape for the past few weeks and you've only just woken up. You can't expect to be back to normal immediately. I'm beginning to wonder if you've ever even been sick before now.”

 

“I haven't.”

 

“Y- … Oh.” Vanessa frowned for a moment and then brightened. “Okay, think of it this way. When you… er… lost your arm - hear me out!” she cried when he narrowed his eyes at her. “When you were injured then, I'm sure you weren't feeling exactly the best just three days afterward, were you? This is the same idea. You just need to give yourself time.”

 

“It is not the same.”

 

Vanessa returned his glare. “Are you being stubborn intentionally? Back then you had a limb cut from your body. A limb, Sesshoumaru. Youkai or not, it's amazing you didn't die from blood loss. This time, you were poisoned and very probably would have died, but both times you beat the odds. Just let yourself heal. It'll only take longer if you keep pushing yourself to be at the level that you were before. You'll get there. I have no doubts about that.”

 

“Hm.”

 

“Have you eaten?” Vanessa asked, suddenly realizing that she'd only had a small breakfast.

 

Sesshoumaru started a bit at her sudden change of subject, but shook his head. “Not since this morning.”

 

“Neither have I. Want to come with me and find something?” It was already mid-afternoon and the cooks were probably finishing their mid-day break between meals, but even if they had started preparing for dinner already, nothing would be ready to eat. They would have to find something themselves.

 

At the rate Sesshoumaru's body was trying to heal itself, she figured he needed to eat heartily to keep up the energy needed, but if she knew him at all, she also figured that he had probably skipped more than a meal or two in the days since waking, in favor of catching up on his work - all to prove that he wasn't weak.

 

Of course, Vanessa couldn't voice her suspicions so she kept her face a little hopeful, but carefully neutral, a skill she was learning from a master. She really hadn't seen very much of the youkai lord in the past few days and she missed talking with him. He had either been in constant meetings with Saburo and his other advisors, or had closed himself in his room to respond to the ever-increasing number of messages.

 

It seemed that everyone was urging Sesshoumaru to take it easy, to take the time to recover, but that only made him work harder to prove that he didn't need to. You and your pride… Vanessa tried not to hover and nag him, but she couldn't help noticing that he still looked paler than normal and the shadows around his eyes hadn't quite faded. You're going to exhaust yourself.

 

Sesshoumaru looked like he was considering waiting until the evening meal and continuing whatever he had been doing earlier, but then he took his eyes away from the pile of parchment and scrolls and turned back to Vanessa. Something unidentifiable flickered in his eyes and then he sighed. “Let's go,” he said and stood.

 

Vanessa hopped cheerfully off the bed and followed him out and down to the kitchens. The cooks were just setting out the ingredients they would need for dinner and Sesshoumaru ignored them as he walked past to the shelves that held foods that were easily prepared or required no cooking at all, mostly fruits and vegetables and some breads and cheeses. Next to these shelves was a small hearth with a pot of stew simmering over dim coals. It was kept warm throughout the day and late into the night so that anyone wanting a hot meal - mostly the household staff - could have it whenever they had a free moment.

 

Sesshoumaru bent over the pot and lifted the lid. It was about that moment that the head cook took notice of his presence. “Sesshoumaru-sama!” she gasped, sounding almost scandalized. “You don't want that.” The taiyoukai straightened and raised a brow at her as if to challenge her to tell him exactly what it was that he did want. She didn't back down. The plump old youkai with a stern eye and a sharp tongue to match bustled over to him and took the lid away, replacing it on the bubbling pot.

 

“You don't need common servants' stew sitting in your belly. If you want something hot, just give me a moment and I'll whip something up for you. Now,” she continued with a slight warning tone, “don't you go making a habit of disrupting my routine. Next time I might just let you eat that mess, but seeing as we just got you back and all, today I'll make an exception. You sit right here and I'll be back with something to fill you up right.”

 

Sesshoumaru silently allowed himself to be led away from the warming pot to a stool at the preparation table, but his eyes were twinkling with some inner amusement or a certain fondness. Vanessa stared after him and finally went to join him at the table.

 

“You never cease to surprise me,” she said as the other cooks continued about their business around them.

 

“Have I done something unusual?” he asked with a smirk.

 

“Well, for starters, you've nearly bit the head off of anyone who so much as thought of mothering you since you woke up, but you didn't even put up a fuss with her.”

 

“Kuri has a way with people,” Sesshoumaru responded and glanced over at the old youkai's back.

 

“Ah, you mean she doesn't let you bully her.” She grinned at the dark look he shot her.

 

“Whatever I say is for his own good, and he knows it.” Vanessa jumped when Kuri seemed to just appear at their side. “Besides, who in their right mind would anger the one who makes his food? Hm? Might just get rice and greens for a week if I thought he deserved it. Here you are, dears - omelet and rice with steak. And you,” she said, shaking a finger under Sesshoumaru's nose, “no complaining that the meat is cooked too much. I've made it for the tastes of your lady companion.

 

Vanessa caught Sesshoumaru's eyes snapping to her, but he looked away again when Kuri continued talking. “No sense in making two full meals when dinner is only hours away. Eat! Eat! You're too thin, Sesshoumaru-sama,” she said, waving her hands at them until they both picked up their chopsticks. Satisfied, she left them with a final, “Now, if you will excuse me, I have a meal to prepare.”

 

Vanessa leaned over the corner of the table and whispered to Sesshoumaru, “She's kind of scary… in a sweet grandmotherly sort of way.”

 

He just nodded and continued eating. She watched him while she slowly ate her own meal. There was so much she didn't know about him, so much about his past that he hasn't told her, but did she really want to know everything? He was who he was and whatever he had been through and whatever he had done before they met had shaped him into that person.

 

Once or twice, Sesshoumaru glanced up and caught her watching him, but she always hurriedly looked back down at her food, her cheeks strangely warm, and she never saw his reaction - if there was one to see. Almost as soon as they were finished, Kuri was there, clearing away their dishes and herding them out of `her' kitchen.

 

“So,” Vanessa said once they were outside in the courtyard, “what do you want to do now?” She hoped that he would want to spend some time away from the work he had been burying himself in, but if he went back to his room, she'd just have to find something else to do.

 

Sesshoumaru stopped in the center of the courtyard, seeming to consider. He glanced up in the direction of his quarters and then looked around the courtyard. His eyes came to a stop in one corner, which Vanessa realized was the same corner where he had fought Mitsue, and he gave a small frown. Abruptly he turned in the opposite direction, saying, “Come with me.” His long strides carried him quickly away, and she had to hurry to catch up with him.

 

VvVvVvVvV

 

`Lady companion?' Sesshoumaru thought as he strode away from Vanessa across the courtyard. Precisely what did old Kuri mean by that? He had no doubt that Vanessa would follow him when he had turned away from the location of that last battle; her curiosity held far too much sway over her decisions. Besides, she had asked him what he wanted to do. What do I want to do? A half-formed plan had inserted itself in his mind when his eyes passed over that small corner of the courtyard, but what to do about it… how to carry it out… he'd have to `improvise' as Vanessa always said. That was why they were currently making their way to his dojo.

 

He hadn't bothered going there in the past days simply because he figured no one would give him an honest fight - and because he truly didn't think he could stand up to anyone who might have given him that fight. His strength had improved considerably, but sparring would have only shown everyone how weak he really was. It wouldn't be much longer before he was back in top form… he hoped.

 

“So where are we going?” Vanessa asked him, jogging every few steps to keep up with his ground-eating stride. Sesshoumaru slowed his pace a little and glanced at her.

 

“You do not recognize this path?”

 

She frowned and looked again. “The dojo? Why are we going there?”

 

“You'll see.”

 

Sesshoumaru knew he had her curiosity piqued, but he said nothing more; he was still working out exactly what it was he planned to do. All too quickly, he was sliding open the shoji screen at the entrance to the dojo. He led Vanessa to a small, private storage room and lit a lamp. It's here somewhere… he thought as he poked through the shelves. From the corner of his eye, he caught her staring at him as though he'd lost his mind, and as far as he knew, he very well may have, but then he found what he was looking for.

 

It appeared to be nothing more than a slender black-lacquered wooden cylinder, worked the entire length with silver leaves and vines. Sesshoumaru handed it to Vanessa. She turned it over in her hands, admiring the craftsmanship then looked up at him dubiously. “It's beautiful, but… what is it?”

 

He resisted the urge to smirk and gestured to the wooden object. “Open it.”

 

Once again, she turned it over in her hands, searching for a latch or even a seam. Finally she turned a frustrated look on him. “How?”

 

Sesshoumaru rolled it in her hands until a certain leaf was on the top. He touched it with a claw, making sure that Vanessa noted which one, and then pressed gently. A soft click sounded and suddenly a gap appeared in the seemingly solid object. Vanessa gasped and nearly dropped it, but Sesshoumaru stepped back and let her examine it. Almost hesitantly, she pulled the two pieces apart and revealed a thin, delicate-looking blade, but he knew it to be very strong and very sharp.

 

Vanessa stared at the blade and Sesshoumaru could tell that she was asking herself if she could ever use it. “Is this… is this for me?” she asked. He nodded. Slowly she slid the blade back into its case until the latch clicked, and then she tried giving it back. “I can't accept this,” she said, shaking her head. “You've given me too much.”

 

Sesshoumaru pushed it back into her hands and told her, “This is not merely a gift. You must be able to protect yourself, even here, apparently.” She clutched it to her chest then, though she still looked doubtful.

 

“I don't know the first thing about how to use it.”

 

“You will learn.” He would teach her himself, if that's what it took to ensure her safety. “For now, tuck it into the pocket in your left sleeve so that the hilt is unhindered, should you need to draw the blade. Get used to the weight of it, then I will show you how to use it.”

 

“You would do that?”

 

Sesshoumaru nodded and Vanessa momentarily unfastened the catch again to find the right end and then tucked it securely in her sleeve. “How's that?”

 

“Fine. I should go back or Saburo is likely to send a search party,” he said with a sigh.

 

“He's just worried. He'll back off soon enough.”

 

“Indeed.”

 

VvVvVvVvV

 

“If someone grabs you from behind, like so, what do you do?”

 

Vanessa grumbled to herself. A week and Sesshoumaru seemed to have regained most of his strength. Two weeks and it was as if he had never been hurt. She almost had to remind herself that he had been unconscious for weeks, creeping closer and closer to death each day that he slept. Now he was embracing the role of relentless taskmaster in teaching her to defend herself.

 

Every day since giving her the ornately decorated blade, he had spent an hour or more with her, teaching her. He didn't expect her to become a great warrior, but he did expect her to learn how to break various holds and to be enough of a nuisance, with the blade or without, that the average attacker might decide that she wasn't worth the effort, and they worked at it until it became second nature.

 

Vanessa relaxed against Sesshoumaru's hold on her. “We've been at this for hours, can't we take a break?” His arm held her across shoulders perhaps a moment longer than was necessary before he released her, but she never noticed. He stepped away and straightened.

 

“We have `been at this' for less than an hour, and in that time you have made more than enough mistakes to get yourself killed.”

 

She wiped her face with both hands and sat down on a bench at the wall. “I'm sorry. I appreciate this, really. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.” Sesshoumaru sat down silently beside her. In fact, she hadn't gotten a lot of sleep for the past several nights. She was having dreams… not nightmares - far from it actually, but disturbing nonetheless, and they left her awake for hours afterward.

 

“An enemy will not care how much you slept the previous night. He will take advantage of every weakness.”

 

Weakness. That was why he was training her, wasn't it? She was a weak human, a human under his care, a human who had already been used against him in the short time that she had been there, a weakness. “I know,” she said quietly.

 

“What troubles your sleep?” he asked without a hint of the contempt she knew he generally held for humans in his golden eyes.

 

Vanessa smiled a little sheepishly. “A dream.”

 

“What sort of dream?”

 

“It's silly,” she said, shaking her head and trying to turn his interest from her.

 

“Dreams,” Sesshoumaru began thoughtfully, “can have meaning. They can show us truths that we wouldn't normally take notice of, especially if the dream repeats itself.”

 

Vanessa started. How did he know? She never said anything about her dream coming more than once.

 

He caught her eye and held it. “You have had this dream before?” So, he hadn't actually known…

 

“Yes… but I'm sure it's nothing.” She'd never really put any stock in dreams before. It was strange to her to now be in a place where dreams really could mean something… Hadn't Sesshoumaru's father visited him in a dream? And didn't she just lead Sesshoumaru out of a dream world? Maybe she should rethink her feelings on the silliness of dreams.

 

“How many times has this dream come?”

 

Vanessa winced. If he were to read anything into this dream, her answer would only solidify his feeling that it meant something. “Practically every night since you woke up.”

 

He stared right into her eyes, and she felt as though he wanted to pull the dream out of her thoughts himself. She couldn't look away.

 

“Tell me of this dream,” he said finally, never taking his eyes from her.

 

“It starts a little different every time… But it always ends the same,” she said, feeling a little silly talking about a dream as if it were of some great importance.

 

“Go on.”

 

“When it starts, I'm playing with Max - that's what changes. Sometimes we're in a park or in the woods or at the beach. We play for what seems like hours. We chase each other or I throw a stick or a ball for him to fetch… then evening comes and it's time to go home.” Vanessa paused to collect her thoughts, now wondering if the next part was, in fact, somehow significant. “This part stays the same no matter where we were before. We always come to the same road and stop at the same place. The road forks there. I could go left or right, but so far I haven't gone beyond that point.”

 

Sesshoumaru watched her thoughtfully. “Do you see anything down either path?”

 

Vanessa frowned and tried to remember. “They were different. Down one road I could see for miles… It was clear, as if someone had trimmed back the trees to make it easy for traveling.”

 

“And the other?”

 

“The other side curved away into the trees. I don't know where it led, but it was wild compared to the other side. It wasn't dark or scary… but there was a sense of danger for someone who didn't watch where they were going. We stop there every time, and Max sits in front of me, just looking at me, waiting for me to tell him where we are going. And that's it.”

 

She looked over at Sesshoumaru then. He wore a small frown as he thought about what she had said. “So, what do you think?”

 

He looked up and held her gaze for a moment. “It would appear you have a choice to make, a difficult one if you have come to this point so many times without choosing a path.”

 

“A choice? What sort of choice?”

 

“If our dreams were that specific, then we would rarely have to deal with the uncertainties of life. If our dreams told us exactly what we wanted to know, then there would be no learning from our mistakes.”

 

The taste of bitterness sat firmly on the edge of that bit of wisdom. Had Sesshoumaru had dreams that fell just short of telling him what they meant? What mistakes did he have to learn from? Am I a mistake? she wondered, suddenly uncertain.

 

“Well, if it's a matter of making decisions, then I suppose I'll take the road less traveled this time and let you attack me some more. I promise I'll do my best to focus.”

 

Sesshoumaru nodded and stood, waiting for her to join him once more before moving to the center of the room. Vanessa took a breath and crossed the padded floor to him. While she appreciated the effort he was taking to help her defend herself, it was far from her favorite time of day. For one, she was getting sore from using muscles she never thought she'd need, and second, Sesshoumaru became her personal punching bag. After their first little session on `fighting back,' she began to wonder if he had developed some sort of masochistic tendencies.

 

He took every kick, stomp, elbow, jab, and any number of presumably painful methods of breaking someone's hold on her without so much as a grunt of pain. Vanessa held back at first; she really didn't like the idea of intentionally trying to inflict bodily harm on him, but all he said on the matter was that if she held back in practice, she would hold back in reality. Of course, at the start of teaching her each new technique, he would have her hit a suspended sack of grain, but beating up sacks of grain can only carry one so far when trying to learn how to get an attacker's hands away from one's throat. The only deviation to the `routine' was her use of a thin wooden stick in place of the actual blade.

 

Days passed, and everything was getting back to `normal.' Sesshoumaru took his work back to his study, and seemed to have finally caught up on everything that he had missed. Everything was just as it had been… before, so why did Vanessa feel so restless? She felt like there was something she had to do, but what?

 

Decisions, decisions… she thought as she leaned back on her bed trying to think of what to do with her day. It was still early. Rin was in her lessons and Sesshoumaru was probably in his study. Decisions… Choices… She sat up. Was that it? Did all this uneasiness have to do with the `choice' she had to make? What did that mean, anyway? What would she have to choose between? Better yet, when would she have to make this choice?

 

A shadow fell over her doorway, breaking her away from her thoughts. She glanced up and was mildly surprised to find Sesshoumaru standing there. He didn't often seek her out, but in the weeks since he regained consciousness he'd requested her company more and more often. It was nothing extravagant, usually a meal or a walk in the garden, but Vanessa was touched. “Hi,” she said when he took a step into the room.

 

“I am taking a walk.” That was all the invitation she usually got, but he waited for a moment to see if she would join him.

 

Vanessa hopped off her bed and grabbed her sandals, catching up with Sesshoumaru when he reached to door out to the hall.

 

“Taking a break?”

 

“Hm.” Little else was said until they reached the carefully sculpted gardens. They wandered the twisting path until they reached the wilder forest behind the main structures of the palace. It was here that Sesshoumaru really seemed to relax. He didn't let his guard down, exactly, but he seemed much more at ease away from everything that ruling required of him.

 

“Sesshoumaru?”

 

He turned over his shoulder to acknowledge her.

 

“Can I ask you something?” A wary nod was his answer. “If you didn't have to rule… if you didn't have these lands to take care of, what would you do?”

 

Sesshoumaru paused. “What do you mean?” he asked, as though the very idea had never occurred to him.

 

“I don't know. You just seem more at ease, a little happier I guess, when you're not in the palace. It just made me wonder if you ever wanted to do something else.”

 

He frowned a little and then continued walking. “I am where fate has placed me,” he said finally. “I was born to this position and never considered anything else an option.”

 

“I see.”

 

“I suppose,” Sesshoumaru said slowly, “I do prefer to be outdoors. I do not like to feel confined, but I am bound to my responsibilities. This was what I was born to do and I do not resent the life I lead.”

 

Vanessa stared at his back for a moment. It was hard to imagine not choosing her life's work… especially when that life was measured in centuries, or even millennia, rather than decades. Then again… Sesshoumaru came from an entirely different society than she did, one that she still knew next to nothing about. Maybe things would change over time and youkai society would adapt to the changes in human society.

 

“What is destined,” he continued almost thoughtfully, “cannot be changed.”

 

“I disagree.” Sesshoumaru halted and waited for Vanessa to draw up beside him before moving again. “I like to think that I have some control over what happens to me.”

 

“Did you choose to come here?” he asked suddenly.

 

“Not exactly… but I did choose to step through the gateway.”

 

“And you had no thoughts of how strange it must be to see a gateway to this place in a world supposedly without magic?”

 

“My instincts were telling me to turn around and go back to the party. If I was meant to come here, wouldn't they have been telling me to go through?”

 

“Perhaps,” he conceded.

 

“So… if it was in my destiny to come here, then I was destined to meet you in the woods that day, and on the same note, you were destined to meet me. Would you then say that you were destined to befriend a human?” Sesshoumaru didn't say anything. Vanessa grinned and pressed on. “Am I to believe that something other than you stayed your hand that day? You had no choice but to let me live? To open your home to me? To take care of me when I was sick? It was your destiny and you had no choice but to put your life at risk to save me?”

 

“Enough!” Sesshoumaru cried in exasperation, but there was no anger in his voice. “You have made your point. Perhaps you were not destined to come here, exactly, but how else do you explain it?”

 

“Consequences of a choice.”

 

“Hn. Choices.” Whether he had intended it or not, that one word suddenly reminded Vanessa of her dreams, her restlessness. She fell back a little. She was happy there, in Sesshoumaru's home. She loved Rin. Suddenly she knew what her choice would be. She would have to give up her home in the future or her home here, give up her family or give up Sesshoumaru and Rin. How was she supposed to choose? She found herself absently twirling her ring around her finger. Bryce… Could she just leave him like that? Thoughts and emotions were raging within her. How could she go back? Even if there was a way, how could she just leave after everything Sesshoumaru had done for her? Did she want to?

 

“Vanessa?” She snapped her eyes up to meet Sesshoumaru's questioning gaze; she hadn't even noticed that she came to a stop. Vanessa tried to shake off her thoughts and jogged to catch up with him, but just as she reached his side, her foot snagged on an upturned root and she pitched forward with a short cry of surprise.

 

She fell, but the ground never rose to meet her. Instead, she found herself being drawn in to the demon lord's chest, his strong arm about her waist, supporting her. All at once, she was met with his spicy clean scent of snowfalls and mountain streams, and it made her head spin in a way that was not in the least bit unpleasant.

 

Vanessa clutched his breastplate and rested her forehead on the hard bone between the spikes, not entirely unlike her first encounter with him, and absorbed the scent that was his alone. She thought she should feel very silly and embarrassed at the moment, except for one thing: he didn't let go. Sesshoumaru's arm was still wrapped securely around her, holding her to him, and she found herself wanting him never to release her. Everything about that moment, him and her… them, it felt so right just then, and she knew what she had to do.

 

“Sesshoumaru,” she said softly, wondering how he could even hear her over the pounding in her chest. His breath ghosted past her ear as he tilted his head down to her level, and the smooth baritone of his voice sent a shiver up her spine when he finally responded.

 

“Yes?” Short, and simple, just like always, and Vanessa had to smile despite the torrent of emotions raging within her.

 

“Sesshoumaru, I… I need to go home.” There. She said it. No matter how much she wanted to do otherwise, she just couldn't. She couldn't let herself get carried away by this… whatever it was that she was feeling when there were so many at home who needed to know that she was okay. At the same time that everything felt so right, it also felt terribly wrong. Hadn't she made a commitment to a man living five centuries in the future? Maybe in another time or another place… if she hadn't already been engaged… but this was not the time to dwell on what couldn't be.

 

Immediately, Sesshoumaru pulled away from her and held her at arm's length, looking her up and down before peering into her eyes, his own darkening with concern. “Are you injured?” he asked.

 

Vanessa quickly shook her head and cast her eyes down to the grass at their feet. A piece of her seemed to break away at the tenderness she saw in his gaze. She was home, in a way, here with Sesshoumaru and Rin - he seemed to think so, too.

 

“No. I mean… I need to go home.” He had been so good to her, had taken her in when she had no one else to turn to, but now it was time to leave. She had to, didn't she? It was the right decision, wasn't it? How would she know?

 

Finally, after a long silence, Vanessa raised her gaze to her host's and took an involuntary step backward. She wasn't sure how she expected him to react, but it certainly wasn't this. For the first time in more than three months since she entered this world, Vanessa was met with Sesshoumaru's piercing, cold, hard gaze. His expression was completely unreadable. Every barrier she hadn't known she'd broken through was back in place. Even his eyes, the golden pools that had begun to open up to her, were cold and unfeeling.

 

“Yes,” he finally said, slowly, impassively, “Perhaps it is time.”

 

VvVvVvVvV

 

Weak. Sesshoumaru paced his study. A moment of weakness and look where it's gotten you. He snarled at himself. How could he have let it get this far? Well, if she wanted to go home, then he would take her back to the old miko and wash his hands of everything. Surely they would have thought of something by now. He didn't want her to go, he realized, but she made her choice. This is what the dream was telling her, wasn't it? She made her choice… but why did it hurt?

 

With one last derisive snort, he swept out into the hall. Nothing changed. He vowed to see her safely away, and he would, but he didn't need to get mixed up with her any more than he already had.

 

“Rin,” he said from her doorway, “Pack a bag. We are leaving.”

 

“Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama!”

 

“Jaken,” he said a bit louder into the other room.

 

“Hai, my lord?” The imp scurried around the corner and nearly fell over himself in his effort to throw himself at his lord's feet.

 

“You will come as well. Gather what you need and prepare Ah-Un. Now.”

 

“Hai, my lord, right away.” He watched Jaken hurry to do as he was told and stiffened imperceptibly when he sensed Vanessa's presence behind him.

 

“Sesshoumaru?” She spoke softly, almost hesitantly. He turned, donning the mask he had perfected centuries ago. Why had he ever let it slip? “Are we… are we leaving right away?”

 

“You wish to return home, but first we need to speak with the miko Kaede, so we should not delay.”

 

“Right. M-may I say good-bye? To some of the people here, I mean.”

 

Sesshoumaru stared at her for a moment. Maybe this wasn't as simple a decision for her as he had thought. He nodded.

 

“Thank you! I won't take long,” she said and dashed out the door before he could say another word. He sat down on a cushion to wait. There wasn't really anything that he needed to pack. After all, it was a short journey to Inuyasha's forest. He had Tokijin and Tenseiga. They were all he needed.

 

A short time later, Vanessa returned and jumped when she saw him sitting there. She quickly went to her room to finish packing, but not before Sesshoumaru saw her red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Why was she doing this to herself? If leaving was upsetting her so much… why did she feel she had to? She never gave an explanation for her choice. He sighed and went in search of Saburo. Since he assumed that he was one of the ones Vanessa wanted to say good-bye to, he let her have her moment uninterrupted. Now, however, he needed to give instruction for the duration of his absence.

 

As it turned out, he didn't have to search far. A very angry tiger youkai nearly collided with him as he rounded a corner on his way to Saburo's office. “Sesshoumaru-sama, what did you do?”

 

“What makes you think I did anything?” Sesshoumaru asked, feeling mildly irritated at the accusation,

 

“Vanessa just came to see me.”

 

“I know.”

 

“She was very upset.”

 

“And?”

 

“Do you know anything about this?”

 

Sesshoumaru sighed. “Probably no more than you. We were taking a walk when she decided that it was time for her to return to her home.”

 

“Did she say why? I thought she was happy here. Did something upset her? Why did she wait until now?”

 

“I don't know!” Sesshoumaru snapped and then pinched the bridge of his nose. He'd asked himself these same questions and more, but could think of nothing that he or anyone else had done to drive the woman away. “She hasn't been herself recently, but I can think of no reason why she would want to leave so abruptly.”

 

“Forgive me, Sesshoumaru-sama, I did not mean to accuse. It's just…” for once, Saburo seemed at a loss for words, “she will be missed.”

 

More than you know… Sesshoumaru growled to himself, banishing that thought. “I did not come to you to talk about the behavior patterns of mortals. I will be leaving for a few days to escort Vanessa into Inuyasha's forest. Carry on as normal until my return. I hope to be away only a week, but if an emergency arises, then do what you can and send word to me immediately. I know my palace is in good hands.”

 

“Thank you, Sesshoumaru-sama, I will do my best. You are leaving right away?”

 

“Yes, as soon as Rin and Vanessa are packed.”

 

“Safe journey then, Sesshoumaru-sama.”

 

“I will expect a full report when I return,” Sesshoumaru said over his shoulder as he walked away. Rin and Vanessa should have their things together by now, and the sooner they could get under way and put all of this behind them, the better.

 

Sesshoumaru found Vanessa in her room, sitting on her bed with a bulging `backpack' at her feet. He was strangely pleased to note, after a glance toward her wardrobe, that this time she had chosen a few kimono to take with her. Now she was staring around the room, as if engraining it in her memory. Why are you doing this? I would have welcomed you here, for as long as you liked. For as long as you liked… She didn't want to stay?

 

He wanted to know why she had to leave, but he couldn't ask. “Are you ready?” he asked evenly instead, as he moved to stand before her. She nodded. Sesshoumaru opened his mouth to speak, to ask her why, but stopped himself. He didn't care. One human charge would soon be his responsibility no longer, but what was that look she just gave him? It was as hopeful, as though she were looking for some reason to change her mind. “Let's go then.”

 

Vanessa nodded again and reached down for her bag, but Sesshoumaru grabbed it first. Why? Well, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time, and he didn't miss the little smile that Vanessa gave him. His heart twinged at the thought of never seeing that smile again, and he growled to himself, too low for Vanessa to hear, and turned toward the door.

 

Rin was waiting patiently by the door, appearing in far too high of spirits to have known yet that her `Nessa-neesan' would soon be leaving. He cast a glance back at Vanessa, but she only shrugged. Sesshoumaru took Rin's small bag as well, and led the pair to the stable where Ah-Un was housed. Jaken should have had enough time by now to see that he was ready. He intended to fly right away, and to fly through the night to get to the miko's village. He would have liked to spend the week traveling by foot, convincing her not to go, but what justification would he give her? That Rin needed her? Could he tell her that he wanted her to stay, too? Of course not. In the end, traveling so would only delay the inevitable and further delay his return, and after everything that had happened, he could not afford to be away for a moment longer than was necessary.

 

Sesshoumaru set the bags on Ah-Un's rump for Jaken to tie them behind the wide, flat saddle and turned to the humans. “We will fly long and fast. Watch that you do not fall off.” He gave them a moment to climb onto Ah-Un's back, and took up the reigns just as Jaken scrambled up himself, having just tucked his Staff of Two Heads securely with the rest of the bags and blankets. Sesshoumaru led them out the main gates and past the surrounding village before finally taking to the air. It felt good to once again have the familiar pool of energy at his feet, which would soon lift him off the ground - it had been far too long since he last used the ability, and he had forgotten just how free it made him feel.

 

Vanessa and Rin chatted behind him, and Rin still gave no indication that she knew what Vanessa was planning. He wondered just when she was going to tell the girl she was leaving. Then again, he knew that Rin would not take it very well. She adored Vanessa. It seemed that she held her second only to Sesshoumaru himself. He pushed on harder, trying to escape what he didn't want to feel, and it worked for a little while.

 

By nightfall of the next day, Sesshoumaru stopped to make camp. Despite not having actually walked themselves, Rin and Vanessa were exhausted. They had taken only short breaks the previous day and had made very good time. Now they sat just outside the miko's village, carefully down wind in case the hanyou was present. He wanted one last night of peace before facing the maelstrom that was bound to follow his half-brother wherever he went.

 

Jaken was currently fast asleep against Ah-Un, and Rin was curled up next to him. Vanessa sat silently to his other side. They hadn't said more than two words to one another the entire trip. What if they found a way for her to go home? Could he let her go like this? Then, almost as though she had read his mind, she spoke.

 

“Sesshoumaru?” she said softly, careful not to wake the others.

 

“Yes.”

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

Sorry? “What for?”

 

“I never meant to make you angry. It's just… I feel like it's time for me to go. I don't know if it's even possible, but I have to try. I guess I just wanted you to know that I'm not leaving because of anything you or anyone else did.”

 

“Hn. Rin will be sorry to see you go.” No matter how much he might feel it, he simply couldn't bring himself to voice that he might miss the presence of a human.

 

“Yeah. I know,” she said with a bit of sadness lacing her tone.

 

“You have not told her yet.” Sesshoumaru turned deliberately and touched Rin's hair. “Do you plan to leave without saying good-bye to her?”

 

“No, of course not.” She drew her knees up to her chest. “But I don't know how to tell her. I don't think she'll understand.”

 

Do you expect any of us to understand? “I suppose you could stand to wait until you know for certain how and when you will be going.”

 

“I've been thinking… about how to get home, I mean.”

 

Sesshoumaru turned to face her again. “You have an idea?”

 

“It's a long shot, and even if it would work, I don't know how I'll do it, but -”

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

Vanessa jumped clear out of her seat at the new voice, and Sesshoumaru closed his eyes. When he chose this location, he had been counting on any youkai with an ounce of sense steering clear of his scent. Clearly, this individual did not possess a great deal of sense. Still, this one should have been upwind from them. Then in a voice like steel grating on steel to Sesshoumaru's ears, he spoke again.

 

“Well, are ya gonna answer me, or what?”

 

Sesshoumaru rose smoothly to his feet, and, with his hand resting easily on Tokijin, glared disdainfully at the intruder. “Good evening, Inuyasha.”

 

 

 

 

 

A/N: So Inuyasha barged in on a nice, peaceful, if a bit awkward, evening. What do you think Vanessa was going to say? Well… I guess you'll have to wait. Hehe. ^_^ I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter… but it needed to be said. Sort of a transition chapter, I guess. There's some good stuff coming up soon (at least I hope you'll think it's good) so stick with me. You're awesome!

 

Review Responses… in somewhat chronological order. To all of you who read and reviewed THANK YOU!! I wanted to get that taken care of so that it didn't lose its feeling being by repeated on each response, but seriously - I really do appreciate the support of each and every one of you.

 

Crystaru-chan: Awesome, I have a champion on my side who will fight off the evil writer's block. I should think up a personal crest or banner… or something… and you can wear it on your armor while you duel. O.o Anyway. Would it be egotistical of me to want to print my own story, too? Really, you flatter me. I'm glad you like it so much.

 

KajiKitsune: I have a basic outline in my head of events that have to take place and in a certain order, but… for the details, the actual meat and potatoes of the story, well… I just sort of let my fingers do the walking - across the keyboard, that is. Sometimes I'll think of a `scene' that I just have to write down, and I'll put the current chapter on hold until I get enough of the idea down that I can pick it up again if I decide to add it in. I have an entire file dedicated to `ideas.' Some of them have made it into the story and some haven't. That's partly why it takes so long to get some chapters up and others come so quickly - the long breaks are either a) I got busy, or b) I was writing ahead. I've already written the ending - or something close to it, but I'll never tell. Not yet, anyway. Mwahaha. ^_^

 

Jibril-01: Yeah… I saw those chapters with Sesshoumaru's mother, but it wasn't enough to really make her `alive' in my mind… Maybe I'll put in some crazy plot twist where she appears, but most likely not. It really has no bearing on the rest of my story. I like the father/son dynamic much better. Maybe I'll write another fic with Sesshoumaru and his mom. Who knows?! And thank you, I am really enjoying my time in Europe (except for the catching a cold part…) Even though it's only been about a month and a half (has it been that long??) I think I like the US better, because… well… it's my home, but I could definitely do Europe for a couple years if my future job brought me back.

 

Ina Sama: Don't take this the wrong way, but… you're kind of crazy. Entertaining though… Anyway, I'm going to go ahead and keep up with the trend of the Inu no Taisho not actually having a name. Makes him more mysterious and pliable to my overactive imagination.

 

Shikiori: There will be more fluff… someday so have no fear ^_^ I find reading fanfics heals a lot of boredom in my own life. I'm so pleased that I am able to add to the procrastination. Heehee.

 

Cochrann (and to KajiKitsune Since you both had similar posts, I'll say this once) That ending with Sesshoumaru and Rin was loosely inspired by the manga chapter 471 `Compassionate Heart,' which can be found at adinuyasha.com, but that really has nothing else to do with my… deviation from the basic story line ^_^

 

Laa_girl: I'm glad I make you happy. Reviewers make me happy, and when I'm happy I tend to find inspiration a little easier… well… the good kind of inspiration anyway… the kind that keeps my characters mostly alive and happy… O.o Point is, keep me happy and I'll keep you happy, how's that? :-D It's a deal.

 

Sess's girl: Silly puppies… My dogs aren't really chewers… which is odd, I think. From what I hear, the area in Germany I'm in won't get much snow - mostly cold rain. O.o Oh well, there's always next year for a white Christmas. I don't think there's been a Christmas back home when we haven't had at least 6-inches of snow. And then it doesn't go away… ever. Well, it feels like that anyway. ^_^

 

Nessie-poo: Now worries ;) Between you and me, I prefer ff.net (and I post there as well - same user name). Anyway, glad you're back able to review. I love hearing from you!