InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Inu Muses ❯ Inu Muses ( One-Shot )

[ A - All Readers ]

I am a hanyou.
One half of me is glorious, powerful demon, the other half...weak, pathetic human.
Feh, I hate it.
I hate this weakness inside of me!
My human half makes me become one of them every new moon, for a night I am helpless. For a night, it is my friends on whom I must rely.
It makes me jealous, angry. Sango, Miroku...they've always been human, but they seem more than that.
Kagome seems more than human too...
But me, the hanyou...I become so weak, so different when I am human.
I find myself being more open, more exposed.
More easily hurt...in all senses of the word.
I care for Kagome. It's easy to admit it to myself.
It's admitting it to her that's the problem.
I could never, would never...I wouldn't set myself up for hurt like that.
What if she didn't like me back?
She always calls me an arrogant, stupid youkai...it's how I act, certainly.
I'd rather be seen that way then how I really am.
I'm afraid inside. Growing up, I didn't have any friends.
Humans feared me, youkai's mocked me, I only had my mother.
And then she was gone too...
My life has been full of pain, how can they expect me to forget all those years of torture?!
They all want me to change. They all want me to stop being cruel.
But it's all I know how to be...
Who is going to teach me a new way to be? Who will guide me to a new path?
I think I'd like to change, if I knew that they wouldn't leave me.
If I knew they'd stay with me and be my friends, then I'd like to change very much.
I changed for Kikyo.
I would change for Kagome...
But I'm afraid of being hurt again.
I told her I trust no one. It's true, I don't.
I don't even trust myself.
I fear myself, my own powers sometimes.
I fear the idea of being a complete youkai if the chance was given to me.
But I also fear staying the way I am...
They don't understand, they're all human.
Well, except Shippo and Kirara of course...but they are full demons and always have been. None of them understand my conflict.
Kagome tries, I respect her for that. Her stubbornness nearly matches my own.
It's fun to argue with her.
She's so...beautiful when she's angry.
But when she cries...it frightens me.
I know I've done something wrong then, but I never know what.
Maybe I'll figure her out one day, I hope so.
I'd be human for you, Kagome...if you wanted me to.
I can't do that for Kikyo, my time with her is past...
So let me love you Kagome...the way fate wouldn't let me love Kikyo.
And help me to understand you...
Maybe then I won't be so afraid of the new moon.
If I can be with you...
Kagome...