InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Inu Yasha in the Cupboard ❯ Brother ( Chapter 2 )

B RO T H E R

"Ugh… this is tedious," I mumbled the words underneath my breath in disgust, finally shutting the application booklet with a last tiresome effort. How terrible! Those forms were just terrible! I mean, all I wanted to do was see if I could receive some financial support, maybe even be eligible for a scholarship of some sort, but no. It could never be that easy. There always has to be pages upon pages of senseless information to submit, things that couldn't be more needless for Hokkaido University as it was for me. I mean, my marital status? Honestly… I'm not married, no kids, and that's all there is to it. But with governmental forms like these… it could never be that simple.

Sighing, I shoved the application forms away into a desk drawer, deciding they had triumphed victory and managed to soak up all available energy. Today had been enough. Today had been strenuous enough for all of us, what with the rain… the bad shoes… the funeral. I didn't see why tonight had to follow in the same pattern of stress and aggravation. Those stupid forms could as hell wait as long as they needed to, well, as long as they could, seeing as they were due for submission fairly soon. But honestly, I should just be thankful to even be so involved with Hokkaido. Everything was balanced on a very thin scale in trying to be securely set with such a prestige school, one of the finest in Japan and definitely the best in my area, so if I didn't find ways to get the funding I needed for the full course, then I could just kiss Hokkaido goodbye.

Trying to whisk such thoughts away from my mind, I picked myself up, elbows on the desk surface, hands supporting chin, feet crossed at the ankles. From the reflection of the adjacent mirror, underneath the dim lighting of my bedroom, a girl returned my stare. I smiled at her quietly, and so she did the same, gazing at a curious angle, inspecting me as I inspected her. I hadn't seen her in quite some time, seeing as it was one of my apt duties to avoid mirrors and reflections, much too busy to pause and say hello to the girl that would so inevitably greet me in return. I had forgotten how she looked like, there with that pale smile and the lighting casting eerie shadows. Her hair was still that soft black, still with that inch of volume, still crowning her face like a velvet frame licking her shoulders. It was so close to being actually beautiful, if not for the bags underneath her honey-brown eyes, eyes that were tired and especially lacking sleep these last few days. Also, her smile was somewhat distant, pulled upwards at the ends of her firm lips, yet only by force. Her happiness seemed stressed - unnatural. Her image seemed to consume itself in all of her tiring activities, becoming more predictable and inane, and less like…

"Kagome?"

Startled and caught off guard, I took my eyes off my bored reflection to spot my brother peeking his head in from my bedroom door. As usual, monstrous earphones were dangling from his neck; with such a heavy bass beat to them I could practically feel it - typical for my little rocker Souta. His hair wasn't overrun by gel as it usually was, but puffy and frayed, in the ways he would sometimes wear it at home where none of peers could possibly see him, where I'd take each and every opportunity to tease him as if they were around. But this particular time, I wouldn't mock him; he just looked adorable to me, a cute and curious little brother. Besides, it was unusual for the both of us to be home together at the same time; him usually hanging with his friends and stirring up some trouble somewhere which I'd eventually have to save him from, or myself working overtime at Effort Trust Insurance Co. trying to wrack up some extra income. Nonetheless, though I didn't so clearly show it, I was glad to be near him today.

"Hey Kag, what are you doing?" he stood himself into the room, probably noticing that I wasn't plunged headfirst into a gigantic book and avidly shooing him away - which was the usual case scenario when the rarity of us being around each other would occur. He was dressed as if he were going out somewhere, which was now his usual attire even if he were to asleep. I truly didn't understand that concept, it may have been stylish, but it was terribly uncomfortable! And it wasn't like there was anyone here to impress anyhow. Souta could run freely in a burlap potato sack around his mid-section and I doubt myself or Mama would raise an eyebrow, since we ourselves fashioned nothing much more extravagant than flower printed pajamas.

Still, I sighed looking around me, trying to find an alibi to cover up the fact that I wasn't doing anything at all, but couldn't find one. It wasn't normal for myself, a girl who would normally overuse the excuse "not now, I'm too busy", but then again, today was full of unusual exceptions just because of the hard circumstances that everyone had to already undergo.

"Enh… nothing really," I finally admitted. "I was just working on um, those application form things I have to get in by Monday, but I'll get to it tomorrow."

"Not reading for once, huh?" Souta shut off his Discman, which was wedged in the side pocket of his oversized denim jeans, and plopped himself down on my bed. For once, he didn't even scrunch up his face in disgust at my pink bedspread, or my posters of unicorns and other peaceful collectibles. He seemed to swallow it all in gazing mindlessly, as if a bit of solitude was what he had so discreetly came for.

"Nah, not tonight," I answered quietly, turning to face him from my desk chair. He had a totally blank expression written on him, one that stated that Souta didn't have any purpose or any reason to be with me, asides from the fact that he just wanted to. It was a bit heartwarming in a sense.

"Hey, uh, do you have your classical CDs with you by any chance?"

I couldn't help but flash him a suspicious look, directing my head over to my CD rack atop the opposite side of my desk, where a collection of orchestral soundtracks and nature-esque solitude CDs lay - the only types of music that enabled me to enjoy and study with at the same time. However, had they been in Souta's possession, they'd do nothing more than serve as wonderful dust collectors, as I couldn't see what he would ever want to do with them.

Souta raised himself and filed through the ten that I happened to have out, and I couldn't help but simply observe as he pulled out my Classic Piano collection.

"Mind if I borrow it?"

Still with that suspicious look I shrugged and casually agreed, seeing as that collection had been a past obsession, and I was getting quite tired of it. "Go ahead. Just don't break it or anything."

Souta smiled in return, then to the jumping of my heart, purposely tossed the case in the air and caught it - but barely. "What? This old thing? Probably cost ya only 750 ¥ at the drugstore, I'd bet."

"Hey Souta, cut that out!" Frowning, I stood up and snatched the CD away, inspecting the case cautiously. All right, I admit, it actually cost 738 ¥, but that I would never tell him. Just because it was cheap, didn't mean it wasn't precious to me. It had been a past obsession after all, and I prized my classical collection, being able to name a piece to fit my every mood Right now, Die Walküre seemed like one I was tempted to label upon my brother, as I could have just strangled him had that CD fallen.

"I'm just playing around," rolling his eyes, as if exhausted by my discretion, he plopped himself back down on the bed and stared up at me with his stupid puppy eyes. I hate that. Did Souta seriously have to be born with such an expression, such an innocent 'what did I do wrong?' expression which had to melt my heart each and every time he would mask it on in defense? I figured he'd eventually grow out of it, though it seems he's been growing more into it than ever before.

"You know I would never break your stuff," once again - the quivering puppy eyes, now equipped with an equally heart-tugging tone. Sighing in a miserable defeat, I sat down alongside him, bed creaking argumentatively in its usual way of signifying that my diet sure wasn't effective, placing the CD in his lap yet still looking at him curiously.

"I know you won't, I think," I smiled quietly. I could actually recall of a thousand times when he had broken some of my most treasured and expensive belongings, but I decided for now I wouldn't hold it against him. "But what do you want to do with it anyway? You've never liked that kind of stuff. I imagined it to be your version of nails on a blackboard."

Souta took a breath and shrugged once again, looking at our reflection in my desk mirror across us, where that girl now sat with a young male, or should I say, where a woman sat with a young man. It was strange to think of it that way, for I saw my room as still childish, still girl-like with teddy bears and pop idol posters, certainly not woman or adult like, but that's what I was technically - an adult. And here now my brother was on the verge of becoming one, yet still as I saw ourselves looking back at us from a mirror I've had since I was ten, my heart still deeply longed only for that childhood we were so quickly leaving behind.

"It's just calmer, that's all," Souta finally replied, taking out his own bass-infested CD from his Discman, then inserting mine, selecting track 4 - my favorite piece, yet I could only wonder as to how he knew which one was the best song on a 20 track album that I hadn't thought he was so familiar with. But I didn't ask, despite the fact that I wanted to. Souta wasn't always the type to be so open with his emotions; he was more the kind who was fond of reflecting upon things on his own upon his own time, and so I didn't pressure him otherwise. Besides, wasn't it evident? His type of music was fast and wild and could make a heart race or blood boil, the exciting overactive style that my brother invoked 90 percent of the time. But he was only human, and he had my blood in him too after all. Every now and then, it was only inevitable that even Souta would need some time of quiet melodies, and there was no other time than now that Souta would need it most. He hadn't left our home in an entire week now, either than to do his regular chores cleaning up the temple grounds. He wasn't even going to school, having stopped on the Monday, the same day we had been at the hospital… at Grandpa's bedside.

I choked a bit, and stopped staring at my brother before he came to notice. He hadn't been the same way ever since, but then again, neither have all of us. The house was like a terribly quiet place at times, scarily quiet that a teardrop could be heard falling from every corridor. Thus, I could easily remember hearing my brother's tears in the last five nights, even though I knew he tried to hide it. But with a room next to mine, as it had been for years on end, I knew my brother too well to fall for his false smiles, as he knew me too well to fall for mine.

"Is Mama still downstairs?" he looked to me, laying his back against the footboard of my bed, as I could barely hear the melody of Claire de Lune from his giant-speaker earphones. I hadn't quite expected the question, seeing as we both obviously knew that our mother was still in the kitchen as she had been the entire day, but I figured it was Souta's attempt to make conversation.

I nodded in response, appreciating the silent music, trying not to think much of our mother and Uncle Tsutomu, deciding that I didn't really want to know what they were discussing. I had a feeling I knew where it was going, and I decided I'd hang dearly onto the minute happiness that I manage to have left, before being further burdened upon discovery on what it was they were speaking of. The time would come when I'd have to know, and patience did me well until then.

"What do you think they're talking about down there?" But apparently, Souta wasn't the type to let things just rest and play by ear. I wasn't earnest to feed his curiousity, but I didn't want to let the air hang dry either.

"It's about the will, Sou-chan, the will." I repeated the undesired topic at hand twice, to emphasize it so I wouldn't have to mention it again, and I called him by the nickname I barely use with my brother anymore, since he had adequately outgrown it, but still I used it trying to soften the harsh reality of the statement. He knew just as well as I about the nearly crisis-like financial conditions we faced, and so just as I, he also thought it better to be a subject to avoid.

"I thought so," Souta sighed, standing himself and rustling a hand through his fluffy mounds of hair, pressed flat down the center by the headphone band. I smiled, possibly even a real smile, at admiration of my brother. He was just so silly, a silliness that sometimes got the worst of him, yet always managed to bring happiness to at least somebody, such as myself.

"You sleepin' yet bro?' I asked, ruffling his hair a bit too after standing with him, but having to reach upwards since he was growing taller than me - a feature that made me feel so insignificant in comparison. He was five years younger than me, but my supremacy was beginning to show less and less.

Souta, stretching his arms above his head, glanced towards my night table where my alarm clock sat, hands pointing to a faded 10 and 3. "10:15? Nah, it's too early. I'll just listen to this CD thing of yours I guess."

I kind of livened up at that response, having not expected it at all, somewhat still surprised at all of Souta's serene and quiet actions. "It's great to listen to while studying, you know. How are you doing with your homework? I hope you managed to catch up to your class; don't want to be backtracked by a week now since you're going back on Monday. Do you want me to help you?"

Souta, who was now making his way out, turned to me with a sudden smile, "You'll never guess, Kagome. Aoki brought all of this week's homework to me last night, and I just finished this morning."

"Really?" I gave him an impressed nod, hands on hips as if in disbelief for my C average little brother. "Great work there! I hope you keep it up."

"Well, I'll try but -"

Then suddenly, my brother was rudely interrupted.

Echoes of shouts came from downstairs, disagreeable and arguing shouts of obscure things I didn't even want to try to conceive. My hands fell to my hips, as I held my breath waiting for it to stop. I was angry. They were so inconsiderate. What a way to ruin what should have been a fine discussion between my brother and myself. I felt like slamming the door and I would have, but Souta still stood by the door frame and so instead I swallowed down my infuriation.

"Damn them," I mumbled under my breath, wishing for all of this unwanted mayhem to be over. "Damn them and that stupid will."

Taking a breath and attempting to relax myself, I looked to Souta, who was fooling around with his Discman and browsing through the tracks. I couldn't help but wonder about him, raising an eyebrow, seeing as he seemed as if he hadn't even heard the racket from below at all, either that, or he did an incredible job pretending as if he didn't. Souta was like that a lot. He sometimes acted and pretended as if he didn't see, hear or notice when bad things happen, acting as if he were normal - usual. But I wasn't always successful, and backfired with those who knew him best, such as myself. I knew when my brother was actually clueless, and the times when he would just be ignorant.

Then quickly Souta looked to me as the downstairs' noise faded.

He had a strange expression born upon him, with his brown eyes alive with a colourful rush to them. He seemed to want to say something, yet he just couldn't out right say it… but then he did in a voice so subtle yet fiercely direct:

"There's something for you."

"Huh? Something for me? From what?" I couldn't help but appear puzzled, totally contrasting his newfound serious look, as I was confused, since I felt entirely clueless as to what he was speaking of. Here the boy went to inattentive to as if undercover confidentiality without any means of making sense.

The expression of hesitance grew intensely upon Souta's strained face, and I worried that he wouldn't proceed to explain himself and what exactly he had for me, but he said more, this time his voice now lowered to a timid whisper:

"A cupboard."

I paused myself, as if expecting any sort of follow up to his statement, caught hanging in the balance of suspense and confusion, echoing in my mind the totally senseless thing he had just said: a cupboard? Thoughts rushed to me, thinking of what could possibly relate to a cupboard, drawing only flat to the conclusion of the kitchen and food storage, things that didn't necessarily pertain as being "something for me". If I could own question marks, they would have been circling around my head at alarming rates at that particular moment in total perplexity to the point that my younger brother was trying to make, which just didn't cut across very successfully at all. I didn't know exactly if I had, somewhere along the line, skipped on some important detail, or if he was just telling me something that I really didn't know about at all.

"I'm not getting this, Souta. What are you talking about?"

He sighed heavily in response, eyes deep and alluring, making me want to grab him by the shoulders and shake the living truth out of him. His lips were poised as if ready to say a word, as if his meaning were dancing on the tip of his tongue yet he refused to voice exactly what it was. That air of hesitance grew thicker, to the point where he just abruptly turned away to my disappointment. My heart sank, as I hated when I could never understand something important - as he made it seem.

"Souta!" as he walked away to his room, I let out a breath of exasperation. He couldn't just not tell me what he had intended to after the strange things he had just uttered. He couldn't leave me hanging so desperately on the balance, "Souta, come on, tell me, what cupboard?"

Souta paused in mid-step, then turned around again and faced me square in the eye. Boy, he sure was tall, though it was never more apparent until he came to stare you down with a mysterious aura that I yet couldn't explain. "I guess I'll tell you about it tomorrow."