InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ InuErotica ❯ The Gift of Letting Go (Inu/Kag) ( Chapter 1 )

Acknowledgement: Tremendous thanks to Fenikkusuken for her beautiful editing job and ongoing encouragement. She's a privilege to work with and to call friend.

Disclaimer: I don't own or profit from Inu & co. Rumiko Takahashi gets all the credit for them. It is my poem, though.

Warning: Major spoiler from chapter 465 (character death in manga).

 

 

 

The Gift of Letting Go

 

The night I let her go

was not the night she left.

Paralyzed against a familiar prison

the hollow wound in my heart had to open

one last time, had to bleed itself out.

 

What fortune I received

Was not what I deserved.

My final release came in the claim of

she who remained to fill the void,

soothing me, moving me with her love.

 

The warm sun that rose when she lay in my arms

Was not the cool moon that found me alone.

Warm and safe, absent the emptiness,

a life within me returned to

wrap itself in her, the gift of letting go.

 

 

 

 

The Gift of Letting Go

 

Kikyou had been dead for five days. I found myself sitting often, my mind blank. And as I sat, my body limp, my mind drifting, I could feel her slight frame in my arms again - slipping, finally, from the edge of death.

 

We'd had a goodbye, but so much had remained unsaid in the end.

 

The six of us left the place she'd died, marching towards the swirling youki that beckoned us in the sky; we walked because I knew that there was nothing we could do to help Sesshoumaru until the sky opened again. I'm not sure how I knew, but I did.

 

Our journey weighed heavily on me and I could not find any lightness in my step. As we walked I battled a constant anxiety, wanting to run after Naraku, but with little clue as to where we should look. My desire to destroy him was as strong as ever in the wake of Kikyou's passing, the dream of vanquishing him still pulling me, fueled by new anger; but my enthusiasm had waned, knowing Kikyou would not be there to share the victory, knowing that she would never have the final resolution of our betrayal to take with her into the shadowlands. For the first time, our goal seemed like a job - something we just needed to get over and done with so that we could move on… to something.

 

I was tired and the slow pace gave me time to reflect, whether I wanted to or not. After a few days of puzzling over why I was so lethargic, I realized that I felt a little dead inside; and the more I thought about it, the more I understood that I'd felt this way ever since Kagome woke me on that tree. Since that day, nothing but anger, duty and revenge had filled me, taking the place of any other desire. And now that the duty and lust for revenge were tempered, there was little left behind. Little to need. Little to want.

 

On the journey I noticed changes in my routine with Kagome, in how we traveled together, sat together and spoke. Over the course of our travels we'd become inseparable, and I hadound myself enjoying carrying her from place to place and simply being in her company. Her small touches, while riding on my back or merely passing me a cup of food, had become part of my daily joys, and there were so few joys in my life since awaking on the tree that these small encounters with Kagome had begun to take on some importance. Sometimes the touches sparked other feelings in me too, new feelings I'd never experienced before, and I had begun to suspect that my interest in her went deeper than a few happy moments. But somehow, between chasing down Naraku and the continual irritation she had over Kikyou's rebirth, nothing much was said on these things. I had been content during our adventure to know that we both supported each other, as partners in our quest. Neither one of us questioned this commitment. But we never really spoke of our growing bond either, and when we did, the first subject to come up was always Kikyou and what she meant to me. I never had adequate words to express my feelings to Kagome's satisfaction - or to my own - and so, like with most things, the words remained unsaid.

 

But since Kikyou's, death something had changed. Whether it was within us or between us, or both, I wasn't sure. I wasn't really even aware of the shift at first. Outwardly, things went on much as they always had. I was still gruff and she was still sweet. But by the third day it had become apparent to both of us that we hadn't spoken of Kikyou at all. For the first time since that horrible day Kikyou had been resurrected, there was nothing between Kagome and I, nothing to stop us from saying words that suddenly felt as though they needed to be said… nothing except the words themselves. And as the hours wore on and the shock wore off, I noticed that the words desperately wanted to come out… just as desperately as I wanted them to stay in. The struggle to ignore the boiling mass of words in me became distracting and before I knew it, I was snapping at everyone for no reason at all.

 

Kagome, too, seemed less herself. Miroku had explained that she felt guilty about being unable to save Kikyou's `life' with her arrow. Somehow, I didn't feel like that had been her failure, but I hadn't told her this. I hadn't told her anything, barely saying a word that I didn't have to utter to just get through each day. Sometimes I caught her looking at me as though she didn't know who I was, and maybe she didn't. Maybe I'd changed. I really didn't know, and this growing silence between us only contributed to my bad temper. I'm sure the others noticed, but nobody said anything. All the unspoken words became so present that I felt like they drifted along side us through the forest, Sometimes I even thought I saw them, floating between us and carrying the dead pieces of my soul, like Kikyou's shinidamachu used to do to for her, preventing her body from giving up on its semblance of life.

 

On the fourth day, we'd come close to Kaede's village and Kagome had asked if she could go back home to restock supplies and get her school assignments. I grumbled a lot, but I was so distracted with the jumble of things inside me that I didn't put up much of a fight.

 

That night, we slept in Kaede's hut. The evening had been uncomfortable for me, being back in the village. Memories seemed to haunt me from the shadows, and when the fire died down and it was time to sleep, I had the oddest desire to lie down next to Kagome. I didn't understand it until later, but it was as though a sadness called us to comfort one another. I resisted the urge, and somehow I felt her disappointment. I did take up my usual position against the wall a bit closer to her than I would have normally. I don't know if it meant anything to her, but it did comfort me. Just not enough.

 

That night I dreamed. I don't dream often, and when I do it's either sinfully pleasant or horribly chilling. This night was the terrible kind, and as I fell into its depths a growl of fear and anger ripped from my throat in the dream, just as it had more than fifty years ago when I first comprehended Kikyou's `betrayal'. There were the flames, there was the piercing pain of the arrow tip as the shaft buried itself in my still-beating heart, there was Kikyou's face. But the true terror came from the oppressive weight of guilt and sorrow that I felt when I looked in her eyes as she approached. Unlike the day she'd pinned me for real, now I knew all the things that had gone wrong, and I understood my own stupidity. If only I hadn't gone after the jewel… The betrayal in her eyes as she came towards me meant so much more now, now that she was gone forever. As I watched her body fall to the ground, her blood draining into the soil at my feet, I began to succumb once again to the spell and woke in a cold sweat, shaking from more than the cool night air that breezed in the window.

 

I made myself wake up completely to banish the vision of her eyes, and when I focused on the shadows playing throughout the room, resting on the sleeping forms of my friends, I was acutely aware of her absence. Kagome was gone. My normal protective concern spiked with panic this night. Even as I sprang out the door, I recognized that my reaction was probably irrational since she most likely had just gone outside to relieve herself. But then the panic coursed through me fully when I smelled her scent trail off into the forest. Following it, I felt a cold weight on my heart as I recognized the path to the well. Kagome? Did you leave me?

 

As I broke through the trees into the clearing, I breathed a shallow sigh of relief. She was still here, sitting against the well, her head on her knees.

 

“What the hell are you doing out here?” The edge in my voice relieved a little of my anger and covered up some of my fear. “Who knows what you could have run into?”

 

“I'm sorry, InuYasha.” She didn't lift her head and I heard a sniff just as I smelled the salt of her tears. She'd been crying. “I couldn't sleep. I've been having dreams…”

 

I stood above her, unsure what to do. I felt words boiling in my heart, wanting to come out, wanting to spill out of me in a flood and I clamped my mouth shut against the tide.

 

I heard a few more sniffs and knelt by her. I didn't trust my mouth, so I just put my hand on her head, smoothing her soft hair. The touch released something into the cauldron of unspoken words and the feelings they simmered in. A strong desire to hold her overcame me, to give comfort and to receive it in return. Her hand rose and covered mine. I froze, so wanting to move into the embrace of her warm hand, so afraid of what might happen if I did. Everything felt unsure to me, my feelings, hers… and Kikyou. What would Kikyou have wanted? I knew that shouldn't matter anymore, but it did. It mattered very much, and that was the source of so many of the words pushing up into my throat. I kept my mouth shut and my hand still.

 

Maybe Kagome understood my hesitation or maybe she was too upset herself, but after a moment she lifted her head and I felt a little stab of pain when I saw a little trail of tears glistening in the moonlight.

 

“InuYasha,” she took a deep breath, “I'm going home, but I'll come back tomorrow night. I need to tell you something. Will you meet me at the Go-Shinboku tree when the moon reaches the top of its branches?”

 

Tell me something? I froze again, afraid to let her go… but she'd promised to return.

 

“Okay.” My voice expressed none of the emotion that I felt inside. It was a weak word that came out, a meaningless word. The meaningful words were still trapped. She rose and held my hand briefly as it fell from her shoulder. And then she was gone.

 

+++++++

 

The next day was miserable. I hadn't slept much after Kagome left, and without her around I found myself even crankier than usual. Miroku seemed to understand my foul mood and steered everyone away from me. After doing a few chores for Kaede and hunting up dinner, I sat outside the hut and watched the youki continue to swirl in the sky. I knew we needed to go there, but I also knew that there was nothing I could do to help my brother right now, and I was hardly in the mood to - not that I ever was.

 

Night came and I slept briefly when the others had lain down, but I was up before the full moon was high in the sky and took off to the Go-shinboku. It had rained earlier in the day and the forest was alive with the smells of wood and water. The fresh scents heightened my discontent; I felt like the only dull thing in a world come alive under the bright light of the moon.

 

I reached the tree before she did. There was no smell or feel of her. I wasn't happy about this because it meant I was alone with the tree, the living symbol of my life, its heartache and its pain. I'd died here at Kikyou's hand, and here was where Kagome had revived me. Yet, every time I visited the tree, I felt that it kept a part of me deep within it, and that I wouldn't be fully alive again until I'd reclaimed it. Climbing to place a hand against its rough bark near the puncture mark of her arrow, the words began to stir again, as though responding to the tree, reaching out to the part of me that was still dead. With a crushing wave of sadness, I understood that the words in my heart wanted to come out into the moonlight - that they wanted to live again.

 

“Inuyasha!” Her voice!

 

I whipped around, and the disorientation at hearing her voice became caught up in the dim vision of her dusky red hakama and snow white suikan. It was Kikyou and her bow was strung tight as she sighted down the shaft of a glowing arrow, beginning to play out this old nightmare from which I never seemed to escape. No…

 

The arrows came so fast that I was pinned to the tree before I knew it. Opening my eyes I noted that they had not penetrated my flesh. Her expert marksmanship had managed to secure me fast to the tree through my suikan sleeves and hakama. I instinctively struggled to wrench the cloth away and free myself, but the arrows were spelled and I couldn't move. I was trapped, which was familiar, but now a new emotion entered the nightmare I kept being forced to live through - anger.

 

“Kikyou! What the hell are you doing?” How can you still be here?

 

She said nothing, but dropped her bow and moved towards me, into the moonlight. I couldn't stop a gasp from passing my lips as her scent moved ahead of her to envelope me in more confusion. It was Kagome that had stepped from the shadows.

 

“Kagome? What-” the words stopped, stuck in my throat.

 

Remaining silent, she stepped up on the root, climbing to me. I shook my head, hoping this was just another nightmare, but the vision of her did not dissolve with the cold sweat that broke on my skin. It's really you... Why? She climbed to stand just below me, her hands lightly grasping my hakama to steady herself, and suddenly a rush of images and feelings came back to me as I looked at her body clothed as Kikyou. Even her hair was arranged the same way. Anger still simmered within me, but it was tempered by the shock of Kagome before me, in Kikyou's image.

 

“I don't understand…” in the mix of words unsaid, there were now so many more questions.

 

“InuYasha,” there was sorrow in her voice so thick that it stabbed me where the arrow should have. “Kikyou is here with us-“ she swallowed, “she needs to leave, but she can't. Not yet.”

 

“Why not?” Pain and anger mixed within me until they were the same emotion.

 

“I don't know.” A tear fell on her cheek and my hand couldn't reach it. “She needs to talk, and to say goodbye. She needs-” Another tear fell and I wondered if it was Kagome's or Kikyou's sadness I saw.

 

“But we said goodbye already,” I heard the tone of a small whine in my voice, like that of a confused and frightened child, and I swallowed it hard.

 

“Not all three of us,” Kagome's eyes were sad, as though she carried the weight of all our pain in her. “Not alive.”

 

“Kagome-“ I tried to deepen my voice from the constriction in my throat that worked to thin it and block it. “Is she hurting you?” She shook her head a little bit, but her face still looked drawn and unhappy.

 

“For all of us, InuYasha,” more tears spilled down her face, “please see Kikyou in me tonight.”

 

I felt dizzy, caught in some strange distortion of the most horrible events of my life, unable to come out of the waking nightmare. But when I looked into her eyes, I did see. It was Kikyou staring back at me, her tears glistening in the moonlight now. And the words, the words in me wanted to reach her.

 

“Kikyou,” I heard the softness in my voice and felt a surge of indignant anger inside, hating myself for betraying Kagome to her face. But it was Kikyou who looked back at me, who looked soothed by the sound of her name from my lips. “Kikyou, why are you doing this?

“I thought I could leave” She moved closer, pulling herself to me until the fabric of our clothes brushed against each other. “I thought when you came to let me die in your arms… I thought it was enough.” Another tear. “But I can't leave. Part of me must stay here with Kagome, the part of me that was always her. But she cannot have peace until you and I have said goodbye.”

 

I began to understand and a horror overcame me. Was I now a danger to Kagome? Would she be unable to live in peace as long as I was near?

 

“Kikyou,” I had an edge of anger in my voice now, “that's not fair. You must give Kagome peace.”

 

“I will,” she pressed her body against me, “we both will.” Unable to move my arms and legs, I felt her warmth push into me and I pulled my head back, trying to get away, as her lips met mine. But there was nowhere for me to go, no escape.

 

I'd only ever kissed one woman, and that was Kikyou, but both times her body had been lifeless, cold and surrounded by the stale smell of death. Those kisses had been gestures, echoes of a long dead desire, and my body had been unable to respond to them. But this was different. Kagome was very much alive, soft and warm, her lips full of life and moisture that called to mine, begging me to open to her, pleading with me to kiss back. Even as my body did begin to respond, I couldn't put the indignation aside.

 

“Kagome,” I said as she pulled back a bit, “what do you want?” I looked in her eyes and saw a shift that felt like Kagome coming forth. I found it very unnerving, but I was also glad to see her looking back at me.

 

“Only what I've ever wanted, InuYasha.” Another tear.

 

She rose up again and her lips came to mine with more urgency. Still confused, I didn't pull away, and as her hands slipped into my hair and wrapped around my neck I had the strangest sensation that I was kissing them both. With this thought, a surge of long-restrained desire flooded me and I began to press into her, notice the brush of her nose against my cheek, the fullness of her lips as they parted against me and the beat of her heart as it sped up against my own. An unfamiliar flush of warmth spread through me and I found myself parting my lips, offering to share myself with her and pressing in to accept the invitation of her tongue touching my own.

 

When I opened my eyes enough to see the image of her white suikan and loosely bound hair, a new surge of energy burst into me. Suddenly, my desire from fifty years ago was back, fresh and alive, as though the tree had released a little bit of my life back to me at that moment. I wanted her, I wanted her so much that all my power seemed a trivial sacrifice and I was prepared to give it all up just to be with her. I groaned aloud with the effort to reach her, reach into her and be in her. I began to fight the restraints of the arrows, but the spell held fast and even my strength would not loosen them. Just like it was then, I couldn't reach her now.

 

She pulled away and it was Kikyou looking at me, but it was Kagome's lips that glittered wet in the shaded light.

 

“InuYasha,” she said, “I wanted so much to do that when I was alive. I wanted a simple life with nothing more than your kisses…” Kikyou's tears leaked from Kagome's eyes, bringing a lump into my throat. “You said you wanted to live with me, as ordinary humans; you said you loved me; but tell me, did you want it too? The kisses?”

 

The fear that Kagome might be hurt by the words tumbling into my mouth was very clear in my mind, but I couldn't help it. Kikyou's voice speaking her question was like a key unlocking the door behind which all the words jumbled.

 

“Kikyou…” I blinked and felt a tear form, “yes. Yes. I did want that. I wanted it so badly…” The words paused for a moment and I leaned to kiss her again, tasting the salt of our tears blend between us. She broke away and I hung my head, feeling more words trying to get out, slamming into a new barrier. As though she understood, I felt her hand slide from the back of my neck to cup my cheek and lift my chin, forcing my eyes to find hers.

 

“And do you still want it?” I couldn't tell whether it was Kikyou or Kagome asking me that question and for a moment time stood still and I couldn't breathe. The words insisted on spilling forth, called to answer the important question that would decide so much that I didn't understand.

 

“I-“ I had to clear my throat to let the words pass, “No.” I shook my head and tried to let it drop again, but her hand wouldn't let me look away. Kikyou's eyes bored into mine and the confession flowed out of me with my tears, “I'm so sorry, Kikyou. I don't want that anymore. I don't want to become human. I want more than kisses, and-“ my eyes grew wide as I recognized the next words as a truth I'd been keeping even from myself, kept hidden behind the fact that Kikyou was no longer alive, “and I don't…” I couldn't say it.

 

“InuYasha,” her voice was soft and understanding, “there is nothing you can say that will hurt me anymore. Please tell us.” I saw in her eyes that she meant it, and that her request was for my benefit, to help me understand this truth I'd kept secret from myself. I took a breath to steady my heart.

 

The words were right there, ready to be said. “I don't want to spend my life with you anymore, Kikyou.” The fact that I couldn't have spent my life with her even if I'd wanted to was irrelevant to the emotions coursing through me. I suddenly became aware that until this moment, some part of me had clung to the hope and the possibility - no matter how remote - that Kikyou and I could still have built a life together - with the help of the jewel or in hell, I don't know; I just knew that some part of me hadn't given up on that old dream. But the rest of me had moved on, accepted new responsibilities and grown into new desires, most of which I didn't even understand. I felt my mouth turn down in grief, but it was a grief that went beyond the woman who looked at me through another's eyes. It was a grief for all that we had once wanted, once planned and once committed ourselves to. The grief was like a hole in my chest, spreading from the long-healed wound she'd put in my heart, threatening to consume me. The words were gone for the moment, replaced by an aching need to let new sounds escape; whimpers, cries and howls lurked in my throat now, pushed from behind by the growing darkness of an endless wound.

 

Slowly, she let my chin go and encircled me with her arms, leaning her head to my chest, as though she would fill the void growing there. But she couldn't fill it. As Kikyou used Kagome's arms to hold me, I felt the aloneness I'd always felt with her. We had been drawn to each other because we understood each other's loneliness… but we'd never been able to fill the space within the other. We had been alone, together.

 

I heard her sob against me and a barrier came down as the grief poured out of me. I dropped my face into her dark hair and let the tears flow into it, relaxing my body against the bonds holding me, crying silently with her for all that was no longer there to lose.

 

I don't know how long we stayed like that, her arms around me and my cheek resting against her hair. It seemed like forever, but I'm sure it was only a few minutes. When she finally pulled away to look up at me again, I felt exhausted and hollow, still alone, hanging on the tree.

 

“Kikyou?” I looked onto the moonlight playing in her eyes and tried to understand who I saw looking back.

 

“I will go now,” her voice was sad, but there was a finality to it, a weariness. “InuYasha,” she moved in until I felt her breath on my chin and tilted to it. “Whatever life you choose, you have my blessing.” Her lips met mine again, but this kiss did not have the passion in it from before. It was equally soft, but the light pressure of her lips, the fact that they did not part - these things bespoke of a pulling away rather than coming together. It was like the first kiss with Kikyou, lifeless and sad. I had no more tears, so I let our lips touch until we were done.

 

As she pulled away again, I looked down on her face to see Kagome staring back at me. It was definitely her, the shift in her mood as clear as a cloud revealing the sun. She looked a little confused, but not hurt.

 

“Kagome, are you okay?” I asked, just to be sure.

 

“Yes,” she looked into my eyes, as though searching for something, “she's gone, except for a little part of her that was always mine.” I saw a tear fall again, this one clearly hers. “She thanked me.” She blinked back more tears and opened her mouth to say more but didn't. Instead she just leaned into me, holding me and crying a single, simple sob against my chest, a sound that broke my heart with a sorrow I shared. I felt it; Kikyou was truly gone now and I was alone, together, with Kagome.

 

She felt soft against me and I wanted to hold her so that we could comfort each other, but I still couldn't move against the arrows, couldn't reach her. Looking down on her head below my chin, I needed to touch her, and suddenly the arrows' restraints became an unbearable barrier, walling me off, holding me back. The arrows, along with the sorrow and frustration combined to tap into a new well of anger inside me then, a fury against the arrows pinning me and this damnable tree that still held hostage a piece of my soul. Before I knew it the anger came out of me with an animalistic growl that sounded demonic even to my ears. My body made a groaning effort to break free, unintentionally pushing Kagome away as she leaned against me.

 

She moved back and looked skittish suddenly, the deep rumble of my roar against her ear having frightened her. Seeing her unease, I began to worry that she had misunderstood my anger, and maybe even what had happened between us before Kikyou had left.

 

“InuYasha...” her eyes would not meet mine and she looked at the arrows holding me fast, “I know you're angry that Kikyou's gone…” No, that's not it. I could tell that she was trying to decide whether to release me or not. The fear in her eyes was like another arrow piercing my chest, another wound to carry within me. I felt desperate to tell her - what? I had to remind myself that this wasn't about what I wanted, but about my duty, to Kikyou - and to her. Suddenly, there were no words. No words…

 

She continued to look uncomfortable and I had to do something, to show her she was no less than Kikyou to me, even if I couldn't say the words. “Kagome.” I twisted my head and tried to catch her eye, being unable to catch her face with my hand the way I wanted to. She looked at me, timidly, turning away as though she might run if I made a sudden move. “Wait.” I didn't like the growing uncertainty in her eyes. “Come here, Kagome.”

 

I lowered my head down until my mouth brushed her hair. Her face turned tentatively to me, stopping when our noses touched. I brought my mouth to hers gently, trying to tell her without the words. Her lips were soft, as before, but she didn't press herself to me, her kiss was lighter and I felt her eyelashes flutter lightly against my cheek. She was still afraid. The restraints bound me still, but now the arrows were the least of them. So many silences, so many missed opportunities and words unsaid, all passed by because part of me remained stuck to this tree, dead and frozen in time. All my anger swelled up and then dissipated again at the lightness of her touch. I felt defeated in my inability to break through to her, to make her understand. A great sadness grew in me, expanding with each feathery brush of our lips. She pulled away and I dropped my head again.

 

The words were suddenly there and I wasn't even aware that I had spoken them, as I withdrew again into my loneliness.

 

“Kagome, forgive me.”

 

I heard a small gasp as she sucked in her breath and I raised my eyes to see hers wide before me, full of surprise.

 

“For what, InuYasha?” her voice was barely a whisper and she glanced away, afraid to look in my eyes. I looked away too.

 

“For everything.” I had no idea where these words were coming from, but I didn't have the strength anymore to stop them. “For letting a part of myself die on this tree, along with Kikyou.” She looked at me then, and I saw a tear brim and sparkle, hovering above her cheek.

 

“So that's it?” Her tears were starting to fall, “You're going with her after all?”

 

Her words sent a jolt through me as I realized that's exactly what I was doing, continuing to die here on the tree, giving myself up to it and her memory. With this understanding a new surge of energy rushed through me. I didn't want to die that living death anymore. Kikyou was gone and I was still here. I looked at Kagome, understanding now that her question was as freeing as if she'd pulled the arrow out of my chest all over again. The question begged an answer, and for the first time in my life the answer was clear.

 

“No.” I felt my jaw set against those visions that had kept me bound to the tree, of duty unto death and revenge for a life no longer living. The visions faded quickly as her question revealed them as promises that no longer needed to be kept. “I don't want that… anymore…”

 

“What do you want now, InuYasha?” She sounded sad, afraid of the words she expected me to utter.

 

I swallowed past a tightness in my throat. In the silence we looked at each other, and I saw Kagome clearly looking back at me, no trace of Kikyou left behind. As though a veil had been lifted, in her eyes I saw all the things I did want and that could still be mine - joy, laughter and forgiveness. They'd been in her all this time, at my side, and even as I'd known this, I found that somehow I'd forgotten. Looking at her now, feeling free to want those things, to want life, a new lightness opened up inside me, a space to accept my desires. And one desire surged strongly into me then, the desire to live and to be together, no longer alone. The desire for her.

 

At that moment the tree at my back released that last piece of my soul, returning it to me.

 

Her question hung unanswered between us, and as I looked at her the words began to flood my being, ready to be said. I lowered my head, reaching for her again, but full of a new energy. “Kagome, come here.” She inched toward me. “Come closer.” I breathed against her hair but I still couldn't reach her. “Closer.” She moved into me, holding her breath; I could feel her heartbeat against my chest and excitement filled me as she pressed against my body. My heart pounding against hers, my mouth brushed her ear and I whispered, “I want Kagome.” Her heart sped to send tremors through me, reverberations that didn't skim the surface the way they had earlier, but ran through the length of me, stirring things long dormant. She didn't move. “Kagome,” I nuzzled her ear, pushing my cheek and nose against her, trying to tell her I needed her mouth. “Kiss me.” I pressed my lips to her cheek as she began to turn to me. “Please.”

 

This time when our lips met a fire ignited in me, burning from deep in my being and warming all my blood as it raced through me, pounding in my ears and blushing into my cheeks. I sensed her body's response as her mouth opened to mine, a hungry motion of her tongue probing into me, running over my fangs and drawing me into her. She pulled herself into me, wrapping me in her embrace, making me aware of every curve, pressing into me until my response was unmistakable between us. A groan rolled up out of my chest, communicating a need and a want that was simple and deep and so full of life.

 

She pulled her head away, keeping an arm around me and I knew the look on her face was one I'd take to my grave, happy, tearful and confused.

 

“InuYasha,” she still sounded uncertain, but she didn't move away. “What do you mean? Do you really want to be with me?” She fingered her suikan as if to wonder if I still saw Kikyou when I looked at her.

 

“Yes,” I tried to put all the truth I felt in my heart into my eyes, looking into hers, “that's what I mean.” She was quiet for a moment, searching my eyes. “Kagome,” my heart began beating faster, “what do you want?” She blinked and it occurred to me I'd never asked her this question before, afraid I couldn't give her myself if that was what she asked. But now I was only afraid that she wouldn't ask it of me.

 

“Only what I've ever wanted,” she repeated her words from earlier. “You.”

 

My heart leapt as she reached her hands up to my face and pulled me down into another kiss, one that brought with it all the unspoken needs we'd both been harboring through our long journey together and I felt more waves of desire roll in to wash the earlier sadness away. The lightness I'd felt opening in me continued to grow with the teasing motions of her tongue and the soft movements of her hands as she caressed my neck and smoothed my hair. My body responded with even more strength to the longings rushing through me and I torqued my shoulders, straining against the arrows binding me. Now that I had freed my heart I needed to free my body.

 

She pulled away a little as she watched me struggle, and the last traces of her fear and sadness appeared to melt away. “Now what do you want?” she asked, with the slightest crinkle of a smile on her lips. I frowned at her, annoyed that she found my predicament amusing.

 

“I want you to let me down,” I said. “Now that I finally figured out what I want, I want it!”

 

“Who says you always get what you want?” The look in her eye electrified me with shots of a nervous anticipation.

 

Her smile broadened and I saw a mischievous look take over. Instead of reaching for the arrows, she pressed up against me, kissing me deeply again and I forgot all about my bindings and kissed her just as deeply in return. Her hands began to run along my body, which responded even under the heavy clothes I wore.

 

“Hey, what are you doing?” I sounded angry but it occurred to me that maybe I should shut up and enjoy this surprising turn of events, my anger dissipating with every stroke of her hand.

 

“You said you wanted me, didn't you?” a new tone in her voice excited me, promising something playful, and the look in her eye left little doubt that she had something fun in mind. I realized that this was exactly why I wanted Kagome. Kikyou had been a wonderful and deep woman, as Kagome could be, but she was never playful. As I let a smile crease my lips, I began to appreciate the choice I was making, and to revel in the life and love I saw looking back at me in her eyes.

 

“Yeah, I do, but how can I have you if I'm stuck to this tree?” I raised an eyebrow, inviting her response.

 

“Well, if you recall, I said I wanted you, too…” I almost got angry again until I felt her hands push against me in a particularly suggestive way sending a flush across my chest and up to my checks. I sucked my breath in as her hands moved up over the fittings of my suikan, toying with the ties.

 

“What are you doing?” I felt a little nervous all of a sudden, very aware that I was trapped against the tree, unable to stop her, not that I particularly wanted to.

 

She didn't say anything but the skin on my chest tingled all over as she began releasing the ties. My blush deepened as I watched her undo the red firerat and move to the cream kosode underneath. In no time, she had my chest bared to the moonlight and began to run her hands lightly over me.

 

“Kagome,” I was both excited and a bit nervous, but I liked the sound of desire in my voice, coming from a new place inside me, “get me down from here or I'm gonna-“ I stopped, not sure what the heck I was gonna do.

 

“You're gonna what?” She teased as she leaned in to brush her lips against my chest. Her breath was warm as it pushed away the cool air of the night. I inhaled suddenly at the strong surge that ran through me with the feel of her moist breath on my skin as her mouth moved over me and her arms wrapped around my waist under the fabric, pulling herself into me again. I heard a little groan escape me, a signal of the desire building inside me. She moved her tongue over me lightly; I started to feel dizzy and only one thought made it the surface of my mind - I'm gonna stay here and enjoy this.

 

For a few minutes, I reveled in the feeling of her hands and lips on me, amazed at the strong physical and emotional sensations coursing through me. Kagome took her time exploring the skin of my chest, moving up to my neck to nuzzle under my hair. I felt her hands filter through my hair and her fingers creep up to pet my hanyou ears as they flicked, instinctively trying to get away. She laughed.

 

“Did I ever tell you that I climbed up here and touched your ears when I first saw you on this tree?”

 

“No,” I laughed back, “but I'm not surprised. I think that's when I started to wake up. The only thing I remember about being asleep all those years was something bothering my ear.” We smiled at each other and she kissed me again.

 

Her fingers continued to caress my ears, touching them like she had so long ago, but with new intent. Being bound to the tree, unable to move and forced to enjoy her attentions, clearly had advantages I'd never thought of. I began to love the tree behind me, the place of such tragedy and now such pleasure and joy. When she lifted her face to me again, I leaned into another kiss that became hungry, and I recognized a new level of need and want, wondering if she felt it as well.

 

“Kagome,” my voice was low and husky as I pulled away from the kiss and whispered into her ear, heightening the intimate nature of my meaning. “This is really wonderful, but I'd like to be able to touch you too.” I let my tongue flick lightly against her ear lobe and I followed it with a nip from my fangs. She breathed into the skin of my neck, sending a new shower of sensation down me.

 

“You want to open my suikan?” Her hands pushed back the fabric of my clothes as she ran her hands over my skin again. I heard a little nervous laugh and sensed both her embarrassment and excitement.

 

“Now that you mention it, those clothes don't look right on you.” I was acutely aware that my next words would never have passed my lips in Kikyou's presence and I made sure my breath warmed Kagome's ear as I spoke, “I like your short skirt a lot better.” Her fingers were smooth as she moved them across my back, skimming my sides just above waist level and moving back up my chest to cup my face and bring me into another kiss. It was fun to admit that her skirt was pleasant to walk behind - another few words that I realized had lurked in me all this time, wanting out. The image of her short skirt began to have its effect and I began to harden to the point where I pressed into her stomach. If she hadn't noticed before, she couldn't help it now. I really did want off the tree.

 

The kiss left me breathless, but then she turned away and began to climb down off the tree root. “Well, I guess maybe I can give you some of what you want,” she said lightly.

 

“Hey!” I felt a little shot of panic and I wasn't sure if it was because I thought she was going to leave me stuck there, or just because she'd taken her warmth away. “You're not leaving me here, are you?”

 

She was silent as she reached the ground and turned to look up at me, that playful expression beaming from her face. The moonlight shone fully on her, making her look ethereal, and for a moment I had the eerie feeling looking at her that she really was Kikyou. The thought sent a chill through me until I saw her hands rise to the tie in her hakama. Deftly, she began to untie the knot, never taking her eyes from me. I felt the excitement return with a new intensity, flooding through me as I saw Kagome begin to emerge from a shell that only resembled Kikyou. The hakama slid easily off her hips once the tie was released and revealed her shapely legs, the ones I'd seen and touched so often when carrying her, but I now saw them in a new light and my fingers ached to touch them again. Next, her hands rose to the ties of her suikan, releasing them one by one until she shrugged it off and let it fall to the ground. My breath caught in my throat and I almost let out another groan as she untied her kosode and let it fall away from her unbound breasts. Lastly, she hooked her fingers into the little bit of cloth below her waist, pushing it down over her thighs and stepped out of it, revealing a dark triangle, its mystery shrouded in more than shadows. I'd caught furtive glimpses of her like this before, but never had she let me just look at her and never had I just looked. Even more than the view of her beautiful curves, the fact that she did not hide them excited me in a new way, releasing yet another level of desire in me and I felt myself begin to strain against the now painfully tight constraints of my fundoshi.

 

She reached back to release the white tie in her hair, and the last vestige of Kikyou disappeared when the wavy black mass spilled freely over her shoulders. My heart warmed to see Kagome smiling up at me, and more warmth flooded me as she climbed back up to on the root. She'd kept the thin kosode on, perhaps against the cool night air or perhaps out of some remaining modesty, but it was still open, allowing her breasts, belly and the small curls between her legs to peek out of the shadows into the moonlight. As she embraced me, the feel of her skin on mine sent bolts of energy off inside me and my hands now itched to be free, to feel the smooth swell of each breast, to skim her hardening nipples pressing into me, and to slide down the curve of her waist under the flimsy white fabric. As if this wasn't enough, a new and wonderful smell rose between us, hinting at her excitement.

 

“Kagome,” I was serious this time, “I want down now.”

 

She traced the angle of my jaw with her mouth as she whispered back, “in a minute.” Goosebumps ignited in anticipation of what her words might mean, and they kept skittering over my skin as I felt her fingers trail around the top of my waistband. She found the tie of my hakama easily and began to work the knot loose, each tug at the cloth causing my heart to beat louder in my ears. The red fabric pulled away and I looked down to see my fundoshi bulging to capacity. I blushed as her hands lightly brushed across the ridges of my stomach to pet the length of the curving fabric, pulling another groan from me. Her fingers explored me and the sensation of them through the cloth, touching me without touching me, began to drive me crazy. My breath was coming in little huffs now and I realized she was enjoying this torture.

 

“Now you're really gonna get it when I get down from here,” I said, trying to nudge her hair with my nose, but I couldn't reach her.

 

“Good,” she said with a new found confidence that turned me on even more. “How do I get you out of this thing?”

 

“Heh.” Finally, I had her. “You let me down, that's how.” I moaned again as she pressed the backs of her fingers against the base of my shaft and moved them up to the head, experimenting with my reaction.

 

“No, there must be another way,” she said, as she kept moving her hand. “There has to be a way for you to get this off quickly when you need to - uh - you know.”

 

“Pee?” I blushed.

 

“Yeah.” She was smarter than I thought.

 

“Well, there is, but I don't think it will work now that you've got me filling it up like this,” I had to chuckle a little at the irony of the situation - discussing such trivial and personal things in the wake of such grief and heartache. Somehow, looking down on her naked body and feeling the heat surging through me, this didn't seem strange at all; rather, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

 

“Let me try.” She began to explore the way the fabric folded over itself until she figured out very quickly that what covered me was just a simple fold over the twisted tie of the longer length of it, and that the fold could slide aside over the tie - easily under normal circumstances. “Tell me if I hurt you,” she said, as she tried gently to slide the fabric. As I'd warned her, the pressure my erection put on the normally loose cloth made it difficult to move aside. The more she tried to expose me, the more I liked the idea of being exposed and I decided to help her out.

 

“You're not hurting me,” I said reassuringly. “You can pull harder.” Lucky for me, she wasn't afraid to try harder. I gasped as she reached under the fabric to grip me, holding me away from the cloth as she yanked it to the side. And then I was in her hands, hard and soft coming together to melt me until I was nothing but waves of pure pleasure pulsing against the rough bark of the tree. I closed my eyes and became lost in the sensation of her fingers moving over me. As I felt my excitement grow, I realized that she probably didn't know what to do and so I decided to help her out again. “Harder is okay.” Her grip tightened and my body clenched against the restraints of the arrows. “Yeah, like that.” She giggled a little and kept going until I was breathless. “Okay,” I puffed my words out against the top of her head, which was all I could see as she looked down at where her hands were busy moving over me. “Now, you can let me down.”

 

Her only response was to turn her face back up to me and kiss me softly once on my lips and then my jaw, my neck, my chest… moving down my body with little kisses that were moving closer and closer to where her hands continued to hold me. I couldn't believe it as she reached my belly, slowing her kisses but continuing to move down until I felt the soft brush of her hair against the sensitive tip of my shaft and felt her breath mingle in between the hairs at its base. Adrenaline shot through me and I thought I was going to explode with excitement. I'd never in a million years imagined that a woman would want to do this, but Kagome had always been able to surprise me, and I'd never been as glad of that quality in her as I was right then.

 

When her tongue touched my tip, I caught a strangled moan in my throat, and as her mouth moved over me, exploring and sliding down my length, I was amazed at what a wonderful sensation this was, better than anything I'd ever felt before. My arms and legs, stretched out against the tree, stiffened with the effort to keep still and concentrate all my attention on her thrilling motions. Whether I tried to stay still or not, the spell bound me tightly so I could do nothing but enjoy the wet touch of her tongue. It didn't take long for me to reach a point where I wasn't sure I could control myself.

 

“Kagome…” I was both relieved and disappointed when she stopped to look up at me. “You'd better stop now.”

 

“Why?” She wasn't just teasing, she seemed genuinely curious. “You're this excited now… wouldn't it be mean to stop?”

 

I just stared down at her, unable to believe she'd be willing to do more. I felt guilty, selfish and that old sense of duty returned a little, urging me not to accept it just because I wanted it.

 

“You do know what happens if you keep going, right?” I couldn't think of anything else to say and I groaned again as she moved her fingers over me.

 

“Yes,” she kissed my chest.

 

“I'm not going to ask you to do that.” I was at war with myself with that statement.

 

“Who says I'm doing this just because it's what you want?” She smiled at me. I was feeling confused and didn't say anything when she moved back down to continue where she'd left off.

 

I became lost again in her movements and my aching need, which began to press up below my shaft with pressure building all the way from my toes. It didn't take long at all. Her tongue flicked over my tip and ignited a fuse that moved quickly down to the coiled place between my legs, about to set off an explosion.

 

“Kagome,” I managed to huff, “now. Let it go.”

 

She didn't pay attention and kept moving over me, increasing the speed and pressure. She meant for me to release while she was still on me! This realization alone set me off and I couldn't help the loud moan that launched itself out of my throat as the tightening within me released in a pulsing surge that burst into her mouth, pulling shudders from my whole body over and over with each continued throb as I came. When the surges inside me finally stopped, I shivered a little as she moved gently up over my softening skin. I blinked and began to wonder if she was okay. Looking down on the top of her head I shivered again as her hands slid some of the thick liquid off me and onto her fingers. She looked up at me and wiped her hands on her shirt with a smile. I saw her make a cute little face as she swallowed.

 

“Wow.” I couldn't think of anything else to say but the truth. “Kagome, I want to hug you so badly right now. Will you please let me off this tree?”

 

She smiled and reached up to kiss me lightly. I smelled myself on her breath and felt a flush of possessive pride and a deeper level of excitement. Her eyes were beautiful and happy, shining in the moon's silver glow as she stepped back to look over the arrows. Steadying herself by holding onto my waist, she reached to release the arrows one by one, dropping them to the ground. Finally, the fabric began to loosen and my body grew heavy under the pull of gravity. I felt weak as my weight came onto the tree root next to her, and I shook my hands a little to help the blood flow through them before I wrapped her in a hug that brought us fully together. She felt light and delicate in my arms, the most precious thing I'd ever held so close.

 

Even though my most urgent desire was sated, I found as our skin touched that I was still hungry for her, fueling my need to give to her the pleasure she'd given to me. I didn't trust my balance after the intense emotional and physical outpouring, not to mention my utter immobility of the last little while, so I scooped her in my arms and jumped off the root, landing next to her clothes. My pants started to fall down around my ankles and almost made me laugh as I knelt down to spread her clothes out on the ground while holding her against me, and as I did, I felt her rear come into direct contact with me. I was not as hard as I had been, but when her bottom pressed against me, my shaft pushed back against her and she giggled nervously again.

 

When I laid her down on the fabric, she propped herself up on one arm while I sat back on my heels and began to unwind the fundoshi that was strangling my balls now that I was able to move. I shrugged all the way out of my suikan, but left my kosode on, feeling some satisfaction in the fact that we matched. She watched me with curiosity and at one point, while I was messing with the remnants of my clothes, she reached out to lightly pet the smooth skin of my hip, letting her fingers slide across the planes of my bones and muscles. I enjoyed the feel of her touch as much as I enjoyed the look of desire in her eyes. Finally untangled, I slid my claws gently into her hair, feeling its silk tickle the skin between my fingers. I was simmering inside, mostly satisfied, but not entirely. Being so excited while unable to move and touch her had ignited a new hunger in me, a need not just to touch her, but to move her to heights of pleasure she'd just given me. There was only one problem; I had no idea how to do that.

 

“Kagome,” I came down on all fours over her, pushing her gently down underneath me with a hand on her shoulder, “now it's time for what you want, but you have to show me what to do.”

 

“Oh.” She seemed surprised. “You don't know?”

 

“How would I know?” I was surprised at her surprise.

 

“Uh-“ I think she blushed, “well, you're a lot older than me, I just figured…”

 

“You figured wrong,” I came down to kiss her, enjoying being in a stronger position this time, letting my tongue lead the exploration, pushing into her mouth as she opened to me. I pulled back up to look at her, having just realized something.

 

“Which reminds me,” I moved my fingers down the neckline of her kosode, careful to keep my claws curled away from her skin as I pulled the fabric back and exposed one of her beautiful breasts to the moonlight, “you seemed to know a lot about what I needed.” I lowered myself to her breast, suddenly and completely captivated by it, and gave it an experimental lick. I wasn't prepared for the reaction I got as her body arched, pushing into my mouth. The more I licked and sucked at her, moving my tongue over her hardening nipple, the more she seemed to enjoy it, so I just kept it up, trying to pay attention to what seemed to make her happiest. After a minute or so, I moved over to the other one and got the same reaction. I felt a warm flush of pride, knowing that even without any experience, I'd elicited such strong responses from her. Maybe she hadn't needed much experience either, but I was still curious. I rose back up to look down at her face, noticing how her hair fanned out behind her. “How'd you know what to do to me?”

 

“Um,” she squirmed a little bit underneath me, “in the future, sex is everywhere. You can get books-“

 

“Books?” I knew she was right about sex being everywhere in her strange land, but I was amazed to think that people that knew how to write would bother writing about sex.

 

“Yeah,” she brought her hands up under the open front of my kosode and smoothed her fingers along my sides as she began exploring my body again from this new angle, “but I learned about that from my friends.” She moved her hands around my rear, arching her back a little to try to reach me. “Did I do okay?”

 

“More than okay,” I let her pull my hips down to press into hers, keeping my elbows straight so I could look down on her. I was pleased to feel a surge of blood move back into me, beginning to build another erection as I pressed into her. “I don't know that I can live up to your example.” I realized there was more than a little truth in that confession, but I decided not to worry about it for the moment and bent my elbows to lay my body down the length of hers, wrapping my arms beneath her shoulders and taking her in a deep kiss that began heating up the simmering warmth in me, tightening the coils in my groin again and fueling my appetite for her body. As we kissed, I felt one of her legs move and wrap over my hip, setting off a new wave of desire as she opened beneath me and I smelled the intense scent of her arousal. Maybe if I just follow my nose…

 

“You really want me to tell you want to do?” She sounded embarrassed, but also a little curious when we broke from the kiss. I looked into the shadows of her eyes and knew that I was at that moment on the precipice, caught in the act of falling off - all the way into love with her.

 

“Yes,” I said softly, brushing my lips against her cheek. “Tell me.” My nose began to follow a scented trail down her body, stopping to kiss her breasts again and enjoy the feel of her nipple hardening under my tongue as she pushed herself up into me. My hunger told me where to go, but not what to do when I got there, so I took my time moving across her skin, inhaling her scent as her excitement grew. Finally, I reached that small triangle of hair, which the smell and the squirms of her hips told me was the source of her excitement.

 

“Your claws will be too sharp,” she said and I lifted my fingers from her skin, suddenly aware that now I was off the tree, and I'd have to be conscious of what I did with them. “But if the books are right,” she giggled nervously, “your tongue should work just fine.” Let's hear it for the sex books, I thought, as I petted her hair with the flats of my fingers, trying to figure out what was down there. “Here,” she said and her knee tried to escape from under the weight of my chest. When I lifted my body up, she opened herself beneath me and I caught that inviting scent rise up over me until I was dizzy with it swirling into my nose.

 

The darkness made it difficult to see, but I didn't need my eyes; my nose instructed my tongue where to go exploring, and her taste electrified me until I felt myself start to harden again. Little by little, I touched each part of her, feeling swollen muscles slick past my tongue as the wet skin around them moved aside at my prodding to let me in to touch further secrets of ribbed flesh and an erect little nub that gave her particular pleasure. She encouraged me to pay more attention to the nub and I did, following her instructions to both soften and vary the pressure I gave it. Her smell completely obliterated all input from my other senses except for the sound of her heartbeat as it grew louder and louder in my ears.

 

I was enjoying this intimate exploration, pleasantly surprised to find her needy noises and movements increasing my excitement as I rocked lightly into the cool grass underneath me. Soon, however, her hips started bucking under me and her breath came faster, punctuated with little grunts. Her movements became more violent, her noises more whimpering and I was afraid maybe I was hurting her so I stopped, and lifted my head.

 

“Is this okay, Kagome?” She'd arched herself off the ground and fell back, as though I'd finally stopped torturing her. I began to feel guilty, afraid I had really hurt her.

 

“No, it's not okay, InuYasha,” she panted, “don't stop now!”

 

“Oh,” I blushed a little, realizing belatedly how I would have felt at about the same point if she had stopped. I went back to licking at her and had to hold her thighs down to keep her hips from smashing into my face. After a minute or two of building up back to where she'd been before, she let out the most beautiful little growl and clamped her thighs around my head, squirming and twisting under me. Her hand came down between my ears in a clear signal to stop, and I lifted my head to watch the tiny movements of her hips and twists of her shoulders as the orgasm coursed through her, enjoying her little moans and the warmth of her flushed skin. As she calmed, I rested my cheek on her short curls, listening to her heartbeat begin to slow in her chest and her breathing return to normal.

 

After a few more moments, I lifted myself back up to lay on her, careful to keep my weight on my elbows. I pressed myself into her soft stomach and enjoyed the simmering feel of desire building again.

 

“How'd I do?” I asked, admiring her moonlit face underneath me.

 

“More than okay,” she smiled and her hips pushed up against me. “Feels like you're ready for another round.”

 

“Not necessarily,” I laughed. Even though the thought was very appealing, I was pleasantly tired and very conscious of the fact that for the first time since I could remember, I was happy. “I can hold out for a while.” She looked at me and raised her eyebrows questioningly. “Maybe until tomorrow, anyway.” She laughed this time.

 

“I guess we should let this all sink in,” she mused and I felt her hands move back up over the outside of my shirt. “This last week has been pretty intense.” Her eyebrows furrowed and I knew she was starting to worry, wondering if I had any doubts. But if anything could wipe away the residual thoughts of Kikyou that had pulled at me, it was now Kagome.

 

“Yeah,” I agreed with her, “but I'm not letting you go.” I leaned down to kiss her, enjoying the reaction of my body to the warmth of her curves, her taste and her smell. Pulling back to look at her again, I felt that little bit of sadness that had resurfaced with the thought of Kikyou. Feeling it needed to be acknowledged, I laid my head down on Kagome's chest, and closed my eyes, listening to her heart beat under my cheek. Finally, the last words that remained unsaid came to me and I released them.

 

“Kikyou is dead. Her soul is at peace, and she's left us to each other. I've grieved her for so long…” The final words hung in my throat. I took a deep breath.

 

“Tonight, I let her go.”

 

+++++++++++

 

We didn't return to the others that night, wanting to be together before resuming the hunt again in the morning. Instead, we slept under the Go-Shinboku, nestled between its roots and wrapped in my suikan. I woke to see the morning sun filtering through the canopy of its branches, Kagome pressed close to me and breathing softly against my skin. I watched the sunlight glisten off the dew dotting the grass and let my gaze follow its path up into the branches spreading out above us, to where the leaves danced lightly in the early morning breeze. As I enjoyed the warmth of the early morning sun in the light playing across our bodies, I had the strangest feeling that the tree shared my joy.

 

We were together, not alone, at last.

 

 

The End

 

 

End Note: Since the very first chapter of the InuYasha manga that I read, I've been struck by the symbolism of InuYasha frozen in time on the tree, waiting for release. And much as I'm (clearly) an Inu-Kag shipper, I have a deep and abiding respect for Kikyou and the role she's played in both InuYasha's present life and Kagome's past life. I wrote a poem, Requiem for Kikyou, that helped me pay homage to her character, but there was still more that needed to be said. This fic scratched a bunch of itches for me to explore that visual, emotional and soul imagery that I revel in at the core the InuYasha story. Thanks for reading if you got this far and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!