InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ InuYasha: The Journey Continues ❯ Chapter 14: A World of Explanations ( Chapter 14 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

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Chapter 14: A World of Explanations

InuYasha stared at the top of Kagome's head as her head tried to press deeper into his chest. There they were, having an intimate moment they had both been waiting for...and she stopped him. Did she not like him...no that couldn't be it. They just opened a few new doors in their relationship.

"What's wrong, Kagome" InuYasha finally broke the silence. He wrapped his arm gently around her as she slowly lifted her head and looked deep into his amber eyes.

"Its not that I don't want too...it's just that there's something bothering me." Kagome confessed.

InuYasha stared back at her, concern filling her dark brown eyes as he held her. 'What did I do to make her so unsure all of a sudden?' he asked himself. "What is it?" he finally asked.

Kagome took in a deep breath and braced herself for the possible onslaught of words and curses that would flow from his mouth, but she had to know...

"Am I the only one in your heart?" She asked sincerely

"What do you mean?" InuYasha asked, genuinely confused.

"I mean...what about Kikyo?" Kagome sighed solemnly.

Dawning comprehension arose in InuYasha's eyes as he slowly took his arms from around Kagome and turned to sit with his legs over the edge of the bed. Kagome had grabbed the blanket and covered herself with it, partly ashamed that she brought up such a painful subject between them. Nevertheless, she had to; there was no way she could just ignore all the running off and covert meetings. It had to be her or Kikyo...not both.

"I was wondering when we would have this conversation." InuYasha replied softly, his eyes not moving from the floor. His silver hair covered his face while the candle light danced around the room. Kagome couldn't see his face but heard the pain all too clear.

"I'm sorry I asked it's just..." InuYasha cut her off with a wave of his hand.

"I was looking for the right time...just didn't think it would be like this." InuYasha said; his voice still soft as if it would break at any moment.

"The truth is; I haven't felt anything along the lines of love towards Kikyo ever since she was brought back to this plane of existence." He said, his hand moving up to move the hair from his face. As he brushed it back to over his shoulder, Kagome saw the unshed tears in his eyes.

"It's true that I have kissed her and worried about her, but not in a lover kind of way. It's hard to explain and I've been trying to find the right words to explain it all to you. I know how much it hurts you to see us together..." His voice drifted off as he choked back a sob. Kagome could do nothing but stare at him as he bared his soul to her.

"The feelings I have for Kikyo could be described as guilt, I guess." He said finally after steeling himself. "Guilty for having lead her to get weaker so that Naraku could take advantage of her and guilty for falling for her and not being there when she needed me." He swallowed hard "But most of all, guilty for having her die without knowing the truth."

InuYasha stared across the room. He watched the shadows replay his fateful last moments with Kikyo before her death. His stealing of the Shikon no tama, the hurt and anger in her eyes as she shot the arrow that sealed him to the Tree of Ages. He returned his gaze to the floor.

"She was the first person, demon or human, to treat me like I wasn't worthless; besides my mother of course. Then to have her turn-around and betray me; it turned my heart cold. For fifty years, I was trapped against that tree, with only my memories to torture me. It was the last one that replayed the most. I swore in my own mind that I would never trust humans again."

He sighed, his eyes now with a flash of determination. He slowly sat up from his slumped position and turned towards Kagome. She was still silent, taking in every word, not wanted to blink in fear that he might disappear the second she took her eyes from him.

"Then I met you. You looked so much like her..." his voice was becoming soft again "I thought you were her, come to finish me off. Then you freed me, and you had the jewel. I wanted it, to be a full demon, to have power like I'd always wanted."

Kagome remembered their first encounter at the tree with Mistress Centipede. How he easily dispatched her, even when she had the full jewel inside of her. How he came after her and Kaede afterwards trying to get the jewel. The fateful rosary placed around his neck and the magic word that she had used so often since then. Kagome snapped back to the present when he started talking again.

"As I got to know you; as we became friends..." He paused "I found myself not wanting the jewel as much. I was content just to be around you and traveling with you. You never made me feel like I was worthless...except a couple of times you sat me." He smiled for the first time since he began. Kagome felt a little tension ease from the room but not much. His hand had found its way up to the rosary. He was fingering the beads as he continued.

"Often I found myself silently comparing you to Kikyo, wondering if you really were her reincarnation. The miko powers were there, but I wanted to know if the soul was the same; the same soul that wanted me to use the jewel to become fully human, but, suprising to me, you wanted no such thing. You just wanted me to be me, you never judged me for what I was, never tried to change me no matter how unbearable I was."

InuYasha stopped here and slowly clasped Kagome's hands in his; his sharp claws gently tracing her palms as he tried to answer Kagome's question.

"I realized one day that my heart, as closed as I had tried to make it, had let you in, and you had given me back the trust I had lost so long ago" Kagome's eyes started to well up, her eye lids half closed trying to fight the tears. Her hands held on to his tightly, urging him to continue.

"I have loved you for a long time Kagome. I was just scared to open up...I knew that if you rejected me that I would be completely crushed. I guess I just wasn't willing to take the risk. Not to mention with all our friends around, I would have never heard the end of it." He blushed as he confessed his feelings held deep within him. The weight of it was instantly lifted as the words poured forth like he had been trying to make them do for so long.

"There's only you Kagome...only you in my heart now." He said as he leaned forward and embraced her. Her eyes could no long hold back the torrent of tears swelling behind them and she began whimpering into his chest. He could feel her tears dropping onto his chest. He raised her head up to look into her eyes and brushed away her tears with his thumbs before kissing her cheeks dry. His hand gently held her face while the other brushed her hair back behind her ear.

"I still haven't answered your question though." He said thoughtfully "The reason I seem obsessed with Kikyo is because I somehow feel responsible for her being brought back and being forced to wander the earth; a partial soul in a body of clay. I want to find a way to end her torment and send her back to heaven where she belongs. Then maybe I can have some peace of mind about what happened to her."

Kagome was expecting one of a hundred different explanations, but she certainly hadn't prepared for this. How openly InuYasha bared his soul to her and how everything he said touched her heart. The most shocking thing of all, though, had to be his confession of love for her. She had dreamed about this moment, wished and prayed for this moment to come but some part of her never thought it possible; and yet here he was, in her time, in her bedroom, on her bed sharing intimate details about his life he would have never shared with anyone else.

Her arms rose around his neck and wrapped around it tightly. She drug him down on top of her and held him as close as she possibly could.

"Oh InuYasha...I love you too. I've been waiting so long to say it to you. I was so afraid that you didn't care about me that way." Her voice trailed off as the scent of tears filled the air. Her breath became ragged as her sobs came in short, powerful bursts. InuYasha embraced her in an attempt to calm her down but her tears flowed more rapidly and her crying became deeper.

"It's alright, I'm here...and I'm not going to hurt you ever again."

After a long while, Kagome's breathing calmed down, becoming slow and even. Her tears had also stopped falling. InuYasha looked down at her and found her asleep. Her eyes shut tight and the tears drying on her face. He wiped her face clean and snuggled next to her. Her arms had fallen down to be resting on his chest. He leaned back against the pillows and covered Kagome and himself with the blanket. Kissing the top of her head as her breathing became shallower; she was in a deep sleep now. He leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling.

"I guess that is a lot to take in all at once" He chuckled to himself "But still, I'm glad I was able to finally tell her."

InuYasha's thoughts were going a mile a minute. When they got back there would be no hiding this from the rest of the group. She would undoubtedly tell Sango the instant they were alone and there would be no denying Miroku the story either. Shippo would be probably the toughest to explain it too, being so young and all.

His thoughts flashed to Kikyo...he would have to tell her his heart belonged to Kagome now and that he had no intention of going to hell with her. Her life would be in her own hands now, and he would no longer interfere with it. InuYasha resolved to tell her as soon as they got back to the Feudal Era; the sooner the better for everyone's sake.

As he breathed deep, Kagome's scent filled his nose. It was exciting and yet calming at the same time. He found himself unable to keep his eyes open any longer and with one final kiss on her forehead, he drifted off to sleep.

---The next morning---

The rays of the morning sun shone through Kagome's window. They fell on the bed where the two sleeping lovers had fallen asleep together. The sun woke InuYasha first who let out a long yawn and looked down. Kagome hadn't moved from the spot she was in last night. Her hands and face still pressed to InuYasha's chest and her body curled up against his. He hated to wake her up, but they had to get up before her family came back home to find them like this. He gently ran his fingers through her hair and nuzzled her. A small sound of protest came from her throat as she curled up tighter against him. He spoke softly in her ear:

"Kagome...its time to wake up"

"But...its Sunday...I don't have to go to school...." Kagome sleepily replied

"No, but you have to go back to the Feudal Era with me today" InuYasha said with a gentle nudge to her face.

When she still didn't move, InuYasha felt the need to resort to...drastic...measures. He leaned over until his lips where on her ear. He slowly started a deep growl that caused his lips to gently vibrate. Kagome's face instantly blushed crimson as a soft moan escaped her lips. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and stared up at the smiling hanyou.

"I guess I'll have to remember that one for later, huh?" InuYasha said smirking.

"Yes, you will." Kagome replied as she reached her hand behind InuYasha's head and brought his lips down to meet hers. Their kiss slowly evolved into a gentle rubbing of tongues against lips. Finally, InuYasha succeeded in parting her lips and kissing her with the same deep passion that he felt in his heart.

After a couple of minutes, the two slowly pulled apart and smiled. They both got out of bed and went to take a shower. After getting all cleaned up, InuYasha got back into his blue outfit and put Tetsusaiga back into the waistband. Kagome hung up her new kimono and put on a white, long sleeve silk shirt and a blue mid-thigh skirt. She then joined InuYasha who was waiting outside her room and they both went down stairs.

After a good breakfast, the two sat in the living room watching TV. InuYasha heard the car pull up outside and Sota running towards the door.

"Your family's home" InuYasha said softly.

"Glad we got up when we did then, huh?" Kagome asked smiling up at him

"No kidding, wouldn't want to explain us being naked together in your bed to your little brother." InuYasha joked

Just then, the door came bursting open and Sota ran in yelling "WE'RE HOME;" he was followed closely by Kagome's mother and grandfather.

"Hey you two" Kagome's mother greeted them, "did you have a good night?"

"Sure did" They both answered in unison and smiled at each other.

Kagome's mom smiled back while Sota and grandpa had no clue as to what was going on.

"I assume you'll be heading back to the Feudal Era today is that right?" Kagome's mom asked

"Yeah, we need to get back and start our search for Naraku and the rest of the sacred jewel." Kagome said.

"Then I'll help you pack your bag and get ready to leave then" Her mom said with a bright smile and turned towards the kitchen.

Kagome followed her, releasing InuYasha's hand that she had been holding the whole time. Kagome and her mom quickly got her bright yellow book bag and packed it to the brim with food, supplies, and first aid gear; InuYasha walked in after they were done and easily flung the bag over his back.

"You ready to get back Kagome?" He asked as she smiled at him

"Yep, let me tell Sota and grandpa goodbye." Kagome said and she walked out of the room to find them.

"So, did you finally tell her?" Kagome's mom glared at InuYasha.

"Umm..." He faltered, needing a minute to collect his thoughts.

"You told her how you feel about her right?" Kagome's mom asked more urgently.

"Yeah I did...How did you know I felt that way?" He asked.

"It was all over your face every time you came back to get her, and it was especially there before we left, so I just figured it would the time to tell her." She replied.

InuYasha just nodded his head and couldn't believe that Kagome's mom actually knew all along; but she was always catching on to things like that.

Kagome came back into the kitchen, having said goodbye to Sota and grandpa. Mom wished them a safe journey and gave InuYasha a hug before they stepped out the door.

"What was that all about?" Kagome asked. "She has never hugged a guy like that before."

"Well, I think she planned for us to be alone for a while now so...I guess she wanted us to come clean about our feelings." InuYasha surmised.

"Wow, I guess mom really does know best huh?" Kagome giggled.

InuYasha chuckled as they opened the door to the well house and prepared to jump in.

"I wonder what everyone is going to say when we tell them about us." Kagome asked

"Well if they're anything like your mother, they'll already know." He said as they jumped into the well. Bright light surrounded them as they made their way back to the Feudal Era.

Well that's it for chapter 14, hope that you enjoyed the fluff. Next chapter is in the works and some heavy duty fighting will ensue!