InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Jewel of my Heart ❯ Journey ( Chapter 3 )

Chapter 3: Journey

Inuyasha tried not to be impatient, but it was hard. By himself, he could easily have traveled ten times the distance they were making each day. But Kagome was unaccustomed to walking long distances and she tired quickly. Although Kaede was older, and claimed that the walking was hard for her, it was clear to Inuyasha that she was holding up a lot better than Kagome.

But since he had insisted that Kagome accompany him, he bit his tongue when it seemed like she was asking to rest every five minutes. He carried all of their supplies himself, so as to keep her as unburdened as possible, but she still seemed to tire awfully fast. He had to keep reminding himself that it was not her fault she had been raised to ride in a wagon.

But then, Kagome insisted on preparing all their meals herself, even though that seemed more like a job for Kaede to Inuyasha, but the food was quite tasty, so he didn't stop her. It was impressive how she could turn a few handfuls of rice, some spices and a bit of meat into a yummy dinner. And it usually didn't take her too long. He tried to remember that whenever impatience started to get the better of him.

Of course, he wasn't always successful. When Kagome asked to stop for the third time in the same morning, ten days into their journey, he barely managed to rein in his temper.

“You want to stop again?!”

Kagome ducked her head. “I would like to pick some of these herbs, if you don't mind. I can use them for dinner tonight.”

“Don't we already have herbs?”

“We are starting to run low. And these herbs will extend the soup, in place of meat, since we haven't any more.”

“We're out of meat?” Inuyasha thought he sounded very patient, but Kagome flinched.

“Yes. The rice is almost gone, too.” She wouldn't look at him. “I think we will need to look for a village and buy provisions soon.”

Inuyasha growled and Kagome flinched again. “And just when were you planning to mention that we were running out of food?”

“I thought you knew,” she answered in a very small voice. “You've been carrying the supplies.”

Inuyasha stared at her. He managed to stop himself from saying anything, because he could see she was near tears. He took a deep breath. “Very well,” he said in as level a voice as he could manage. “Why don't you and Kaede wait here and I'll go see what I can find?”

She nodded.

Inuyasha shrugged out of the heavy knapsack containing their supplies and dropped it on the ground beside her. “You keep this and give me the purse.” He had given Kagome their small supply of money because he never seemed to be able to keep track of coins. She handed him the small pouch. “I'll try to be back before nightfall,” he said and bounded away.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Kagome watched Inuyasha disappear into the trees and sank down with a sigh.

“Kaede,” she began in a tired voice, “will I ever do anything right for him?”

Kaede sat down beside her. “Inuyasha can be difficult, I admit, but you mustn't judge yourself harshly because of that.”

“Are human men as difficult?”

“Some are.” Kaede smiled. “A few are even worse. Come, let's pick the herbs and gather firewood. If Inuyasha does not return until nightfall, we will be spending the night here.”

“All right.”

It was dusk before Inuyasha reappeared, trotting through the trees with a burlap sack over one shoulder.

“Sorry I'm late,” he said as he reached them. “We're farther away from everything than I thought.” He plunked the sack on the ground and squatted down to open it. “I got rice, smoked fish, some tubers, and some herbs and spices.”

Kagome was surprised. “Is there any money left?”

“Yeah, most of it.” Inuyasha produced the purse and handed it back to her. “The villagers were afraid of me. They wanted me to go away so they just gave it to me. I gave some coins to an old lady I passed as I was leaving the village.”

“Why were they afraid of you?” Kaede asked with narrowed eyes.

“They were attacked by a demon recently,” Inuyasha said with a shrug. “I could smell the demon aura and some of their huts were wrecked. It smelled like there were a few fresh graves, too.”

“Oh, dear!” Kagome exclaimed. She looked around a little fearfully.

“It's nothing to worry about,” Inuyasha said. “The village is pretty far from here. There aren't any demons around here.”

“Still,” said Kaede, “if a demon was bold enough to attack a village, three travelers alone should be wary. Perhaps Kagome and I should be armed.”

“Armed?!” Inuyasha exclaimed. “With what?”

“A bow and arrows,” Kaede said. “I am a good shot and I'm sure Kagome could learn.”

“And where am I supposed to get that?” Inuyasha asked with open skepticism.

“Wherever you can,” Kaede replied with exaggerated patience. “But I think sooner would be better than later.”

Inuyasha glared at her.

Kagome took the food Inuyasha had unpacked from the sack and began making dinner.

“Well, maybe it's not such a bad idea,” Inuyasha said finally. “There are other things besides demons that can be a threat to a couple of women. I guess we'll just have to take a detour and find some place where we can get weapons.”

“Thank you,” Kaede said.

In the morning, Inuyasha climbed a tree to scent the air. “I think we need to go that way.” He pointed. “I think I smell a town.” He slid down the tree. “It's farther away than the village where I got the food, but I don't want to go back there. And this place isn't as far off of our path. It's going to take us a couple of days to get there, though. Let's get going.” He shouldered the knapsack, which Kagome had repacked, and set out.

Kagome and Kaede fell into step behind him.

Inuyasha set a hard pace and Kagome began to fall behind almost immediately. The country was fairly level, with wide meadows punctuated by patches of trees, but she simply couldn't maintain the pace. She finally stopped, leaning against a tree with one hand and holding her side with the other, breathing hard.

“I'm so tired!” Kagome said breathlessly.

“Are you ill, Kagome?” Kaede asked. She put a warm hand on the young woman's forehead.

“I don't know; I'm just so tired.” She sank down in the shade of the tree, her head drooping. “What could be wrong with me?”

Kaede knelt down and examined Kagome's pale face. Then her eyes widened at a sudden thought. “When was you last moon cycle, child?”

Kagome thought for a moment and then her eyes opened wide. “It was right before the wedding!”

“That was nearly three moons ago,” Kaede said gravely.

“Oh, no!”

“What are you two doing?!” Inuyasha shouted. He stood some distance away, across a wide clearing, watching them impatiently. “I didn't say it was time to stop!”

“One moment, Inuyasha!” Kaede called. To Kagome, she said, “He will have to be told.”

“No, we can't!” Kagome exclaimed. “He'll hate me! He already thinks I'm a burden.”

“But there is no other choice, Kagome.” Kaede climbed to her feet. “I will tell him.”

Kagome watched fearfully as Kaede trudged across the clearing. Impatiently, Inuyasha stalked back toward them and met her half way.

“Inuyasha, you will need to be more solicitous of Kagome's feelings,” Kaede said without preamble. “She is pregnant.”

“Pregnant?!” Inuyasha exclaimed. “How can she be pregnant?!”

“You are the one who married her,” Kaede retorted. “I should think you more than anyone would know how she came to be pregnant.”

Inuyasha glared at her and held up one clawed finger. “Once! I only did it with her once! How can she be pregnant?”

Kaede snorted. “What? Did you think you had to practice first? It only takes one time.”

Inuyasha threw up his hands. “This is just great! How are we supposed to make any kind of time at all now?”

“Inuyasha!” Kaede snapped. She frowned at him angrily. “This is a very difficult time for Kagome. You would do well to have a little patience.”

“I have been patient!” Inuyasha snarled, and then bristled at Kaede's look of complete disbelief.

But all Kaede said was, “Well, perhaps you could try to be a little more patient.”

“Fine!” Inuyasha favored her with one last angry glare before stamping away.

Kaede walked back to Kagome, who was watching the exchange with tear-filled eyes.

“He is very angry,” Kagome said unhappily.

“He was just taken by surprise, I think,” Kaede said. She sat down next to Kagome and put a gentle hand on the young woman's knee. “I didn't realize you and Inuyasha had consummated your marriage.” When Kagome nodded, she continued. “He didn't hurt you, did he?”

Kagome shook her head. “No. He was quite gentle with me.”

“Really?” Kaede was surprised. “I would not have expected that from the way he acts.”

“I didn't expect it either,” Kagome answered quietly. “Sometimes, it seems like he's two different people. Most days, I feel like he would leave me at the first opportunity that arose, but every once in a while, I can almost imagine that he cares for me. It's odd.”

“Life has not been easy for Inuyasha,” Kaede said. “The world is not kind to half-demons. He lost his mother when he was still quite young, and since then, he has become unaccustomed to receiving affection. But in his heart, he is a good man.” Kaede studied Kagome thoughtfully. “In truth, I believe if you were to show him kindness and affection, in time he would come to care for you, if that is what you want.”

Kagome bit her lip. “He is the father of my child,” she said uncertainly. “I have no choice but to stay with him.”

Kaede chuckled softly. “But that doesn't mean you have to be miserable. Faithfulness is part of Inuyasha's nature. He will never abandon you. And I have always believed that he possesses a great capacity for love, but he is too afraid of rejection to show it. If you want to win his heart, Kagome, you have only to give him yours.”

Kagome looked across the clearing to where Inuyasha crouched, watching them. Do I want his heart? she wondered.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Inuyasha watched Kagome and Kaede talking. Kagome was pregnant! Now that he knew, the subtle changes in her scent over the past several weeks suddenly made sense. He had supposed it was just a change in her diet, but now he knew otherwise. Her body was changing to accommodate the child growing inside her. His child. No matter what happened now, he was truly bound to this marriage. He would not abandon the mother of his child.

He stood up and walked back over to the two women.

“We should get moving, if you feel up to it, Kagome,” he said when he reached them.

“Yes, I'm ready,” Kagome replied and she immediately regained her feet.

Kaede stood up more slowly. “You should set a slower pace, Inuyasha, so that Kagome is not tired out so quickly.”

“Of course,” Inuyasha growled. “I'm not heartless, you know.”

He returned to the course he'd been following toward the town whose stench of smoke and refuse was just reaching his nose. He moved at what felt like a dawdling pace, but it seemed to suit Kagome. She strode along steadily beside him without slowing down. Inuyasha watched her out of the corner of his eye. He had the impression she was avoiding looking at him.

“How long have you known you were pregnant?” he asked suddenly.

She started, glanced at him once and then quickly looked away. “I didn't realize it until just now.”

“I thought women always knew within a moon or so. It's been way longer than that since we… Since our wedding night.”

“I wasn't paying attention,” Kagome said with a trace of embarrassment in her tone. “Moving to a new home and adjusting to a new life kept me preoccupied. I wasn't thinking about it.”

“And you didn't notice you weren't…”

“No!” A bright red blush crept up Kagome's cheeks. “As I said, I was preoccupied! I would not have kept this from you had I been aware of it.”

“I'm glad to hear that,” Inuyasha said, “but I wish I'd known of it before. Maybe I wouldn't have brought you.”

Kagome glared at him. “I told you I didn't want to come. That should have been reason enough.”

“It could take me months, maybe years, to find the Shikon Jewel by myself. I might never be able to find it!” Inuyasha snapped. “You are the only one who can sense it. Or do you simply want to give up and abandon your inheritance?”

“I never said that!” Kagome answered angrily.

“Then we're both stuck on this little excursion, aren't we?” he growled back.

“I'd say all three of us are stuck!” She put her hand on her stomach. “Or are you already forgetting the child you planted in me?”

He stopped in his tracks. “No, I am not forgetting! And don't think to use that against me, Kagome. I married you because my father ordered me to and I bedded you because my marriage vows obligated me. What's done is done. I'll get the damn Jewel back for you and then you can decide if this marriage is something you want.”

He bounded away, too angry to stay near her any longer.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Kagome put her hands over her face and burst into tears. “Oh, Kaede! What am I going to do? Whatever made me say such things to him?”

“It's all right, child. These things happen.” Kaede put a comforting arm around her shoulders. “You are both in a very difficult situation.”

“I didn't mean to fight with him. I truly didn't!”

“I understand.” Kaede urged Kagome to resume walking, following in the direction Inuyasha had gone. “But Inuyasha is right about one thing: you do need to decide if this marriage is something you want.”

Kagome wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “There is nothing to decide,” she said unhappily. “I made a vow binding myself to him. I am carrying his child. He is my husband, for good or ill.”

“Then why not choose to make it for good?” Kaede asked with a smile. “I suspect he is suffering from tremendous self-doubt at the idea of becoming a father. He has not yet figured out how to be a husband. And you, I think, are still trying to figure out how to be a wife, and now you must learn how to be a mother, as well. Perhaps you are feeling a little overwhelmed, too?”

Kagome nodded and gave Kaede a faint smile. “Just a little.”

“Then be patient. You both need time to adjust. Try looking at things from his point of view every once in a while.”

“All right.” Kagome looked ahead through the trees. “I wonder if he ever tries to look at our situation from my point of view.”

“If he does not, I will certainly suggest it.”

Kagome smiled. “I don't see him. Do you think he's gone very far ahead?”

“No. He will stay close enough to help us, if need be.”

They walked in silence for a short way. At length, they could see Inuyasha leaning against a tree up ahead, waiting for them. As soon as they reached him, Kagome offered him a brief bow.

“Please forgive me for losing my temper, my husband,” she said. “I think the onset of pregnancy is affecting my mood. I will endeavor to control my emotions in the future.”

Inuyasha blinked at her. “Don't apologize,” he said, sounding a little ashamed. “I shouldn't have yelled at you. I'll try to watch my temper, too.” He frowned slightly. “Do you want to rest?”

“No, thank you,” Kagome replied with a small smile. “I think I can walk a little farther.”

Without a word, Inuyasha started off again, but at the same slow pace as before.

Kagome walked behind him, gazing thoughtfully at the thick silver mane of his hair. She remembered how surprisingly soft it was and what it smelled like. They had not been close enough together for her to smell it since their wedding night, but she still remembered. She remembered as well what it felt like to be in his embrace, and still wondered how someone as strong as he was could have held her so gently.