InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Journey of the soul: The panther devas' plot ❯ Shared weakness ( Chapter 11 )

Disclaimer: Most of the characters in this story are the actual work of Rumiko Takahashi. I do not own them in any way.

 

Special acknowledgment: Many thanks to Neko Kiki for correcting this chapter :).

 

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Chapter 10: Shared weakness

 

Anxious - there was no other way to describe how Kikyo felt right now. Something was going to happen soon, but she had no idea as to what it was or when it was supposed to occur, which set her even more on edge. As if that wasn't enough, Inuyasha too seemed to pick up on her mood because he was even more aggressive than usual. This morning, it had taken both her and Karura to keep him from ripping Shunran's throat apart.

 

Thinking of the panther youkai, the miko shifted her gaze sideway to the girl who had elected to travel beside her. As she had predicted, all traces of her injuries were now gone and her somewhat aggressive mood of the previous day had dissolved into a playful and almost friendly one. However, as mentioned previously, her sense of humor did not exactly suit everyone in the group.

 

Still, despite Shunran's apparent goodwill, Kikyo just couldn't bring herself to trust the youkai completely. Her story might've seemed somewhat believable, but their meeting just seemed a bit... too fortunate to be true.

 

Which brought her right back to her current problem. As opposed to Karura, the panther youkai wasn't really part of their group. She was merely a temporary ally that would leave them as soon as their common objective was finished. As such, she had an image to maintain. The image of being the dominant female of this group, the alpha. But what sort of image would she project if it showed that she was not in complete control of herself?

 

"To think that I would have to... ask her for help," she reflected, her features scrunching into a fierce scowl.

 

Accepting this whole hierarchy of dominance thing had been hard enough in itself... but going around and asking Karura for her help was something that set her blood on fire. Yet what choice did she have? It wasn't just a matter of image. They were heading straight for Onigumo... or Naraku as he was now called. If she wasn't at her very best when the time came to face him, she would most likely fail and she couldn't have that.

 

"You know if you keep scowling like that you'll get wrinkles," piped in Shunran, abruptly bringing the miko's train of thoughts to a screeching halt.

 

"If I wish to scowl then it's my business!" she snapped irritably.

 

"Geez, what on earth did you eat this morning? You're as aggressive as dog...- Inuyasha over there."

 

"I have a lot on my mind that's all," replied the miko noncommittally.

 

"Wanna share?"

 

"I think I'll pass, thank you."

 

"Still don't trust me eh? Well, since the feeling's mutual, I can't really say I blame you. But in any case, if you ever feel like talking, I'll be happy to listen."

 

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind," muttered Kikyo quietly.

 

After that, no more words were said until midday when Inuyasha called for a halt. Eating her food without really tasting it, Kikyo tried her best to ignore her growing restlessness as well as her discomfort at what she was about to do.

 

"I need to know... I need to learn... and dammit she's the only one who can help me with this!" she kept repeating herself over and over, hoping it would somehow make her feel better.

 

Finally, unable to stand it anymore, she shoved the remainder of her lunch back in her plate and stood up. "Karura, come," she ordered before heading away, not waiting to see if the said woman was going to obey.

 

She walked briskly until she reached a thick bush that completely hid her from view of their temporary camp. A few seconds later, Karura arrived and raised a questioning eyebrow at her. Clenching and unclenching her fists in an effort to keep her temper from exploding Kikyo took a deep breath and counted to ten before she trusted herself enough to talk.

 

"I... need..." she started in voice raw from the effort of keeping it under control. "Your... help."

 

Only silence answered her declaration. Turning around she was immediately greeted with the other woman's satisfied smirk. Feeling her blood surge in her veins, the miko resisted the urge to strangle Karura right here and now, but could not stop her anger from exploding.

 

"What is it now!?" she snapped. "Do you want me to get down on my knees and beg!? Dammit, what is it that I must do to have you teach me!?"

 

"You must have the will to learn and the ears to listen," answered the other woman softly.

 

The tone was so gentle, so... quiet that all Kikyo could do was stare as her anger drained away. Gone was the annoying, arrogant and bitchy Karura. Instead, there was a girl looking at her with a look of pure and simple understanding. It was such a startling contrast from the woman's usual behavior that it took a moment for the miko to process what had just been said.

"The will to learn... and the ears to listen? But..."

 

"That is what you lacked. And seeing how hard it's been for you to ask me, I can safely say that you're now ready to be taught. However, I have two very important conditions that you have to observe if you want to benefit from my experience."

 

"Go ahead?"

 

"First, I will answer whatever questions you ask to the best of my abilities. I can accept that some things I'll say might be hard to swallow, but don't deny them just because it contradicts what you've been taught to believe. Second, you're the alpha but I'm the teacher. While school is in session, I'm the boss. We don't have time to argue amongst ourselves. How does that sound?"

 

"Surprisingly reasonable, considering they're your conditions," replied the miko with a half-hearted smirk.

 

"Well, with the way I've been behaving, I suppose I had this coming," snorted the woman in amusement. "But in any case, why don't we cut to the heart of the problem? Something's obviously been bothering you since you went out of your way to ask for my help."

 

Feeling suddenly extremely self-conscious, Kikyo turned away, hiding the sudden flush rising in her cheeks. "Ever since I woke up this morning, I've been feeling anxious and restless. I can't help but feel like something's going to happen soon but I don't know what it is," she muttered quietly.

 

"Do you feel slightly more sluggish than usual? Do your senses seem a little more dull?"

 

Blinking in surprise, the miko looked at her hands as if seeing them for the first time before daring a look at her companion. "I hadn't noticed but... you're right," she whispered in awe.

 

"Well, seems like it's that time of the month for you."

 

"That time of the month?"

 

"Once a month, your youkai blood will go into dormancy for either a day or a night. The anxiousness you feel is because your time of vulnerability is drawing closer. During that time, you'll lose all of your youkai abilities and be back to being a normal human. For people like us, it's not exactly a big deal as the difference in our abilities won't differ very much. However..."

 

But then, Karura trailed off as she seemed to realize something extremely important. "Oh great. Now this could get a little complicated."

 

"What is it?" questioned Kikyo suddenly afraid.

 

"Inuyasha," answered the woman cryptically.

 

"Inuyasha? What does he have to do with this?"

 

"Two things. First he's a hanyou which means he has human blood coursing through his veins. And second, he's the one who gave you his blood. Can you guess what's going to happen tonight?"

 

The miko's eyes widened in realization. "Don't tell me..."

 

"I'm afraid so... Same blood, same time," concluded Karura and the two women could only groan in discouragement.

 

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"What do you suppose they're doing?" questioned Shunran curiously.

 

"Probably biting each other's head off," grumbled the hanyou without looking at her.

 

"Too bad we weren't invited, I would have paid to see this," giggled the youkai which prompted a menacing growl from her male counterpart.

 

Sighing in irritation, the panther leaned back against a tree and stared at the sky pensively. "Say, how long have you been chasing Naraku around anyway?"

 

"None of your business."

 

"You're really hopeless, you know that?" shot Shunran in an annoyed tone. "How about this, you answer that question and then I'll answer one of yours. Sounds fair to you?"

 

"You might be lying."

 

"So could you."

 

The hanyou considered this for a few seconds before emitting an inarticulate sound of acceptance. "We've been following him for a few weeks. How about you, what were you doing so far away from your usual territory?"

 

"I was trying to find help, of course. And why are you chasing Naraku?"

 

"Because he did something unforgivable to both Kikyo and I," replied the hanyou, his tone taking on a definite edge, telling Shunran in no uncertain terms that she was entering forbidden territory. "What sort of help were you hoping to enlist here? This is canine territory... and unless things have dramatically changed, canine aren't too fond of helping feline."

 

"Thanks for stating the obvious," shot back the panther with a roll of her eyes. "For your information, I was trying to get in touch with the lord of the western lands. He's the only one I know who's powerful enough to..."

 

"Sesshomaru!? You've been trying to meet with Sesshomaru!?" interrupted Inuyasha, eyes wide with disbelief.

 

"Why yes, is there a problem with that?"

 

"What the hell do you have for a brain you dimwit!? Sesshomaru's the most stuck up bastard this world has ever known! He would rather cut his own arm than help you!"

 

"Thanks for the warning. I'll make sure to remember it the next time I'm desperate enough to consider going to my arch-enemy for help," shot back the panther sardonically. "But what's the deal with you? How come you know so much about him?"

 

The hanyou abruptly stiffened as he realized he might have said more than he intended. "He's... an old acquaintance."

 

"Old acquaintance as in...?"

 

"Old acquaintance as in none of your damn business!"

 

"Now now, either you've said too much or you've said too little dog boy. It's not nice to leave such an interesting story unfinished."

 

"Unfinished story? What unfinished story?" cut in Karura as she and Kikyo wandered back into camp.

 

"Oh nothing big. I merely found out mister hanyou over there happens to be acquainted with royalty," answered Shunran and she couldn't help but giggle slightly at the murderous look Inuyasha directed her way.

 

"You know royalty? Now this I've got to hear!" exclaimed Karura enthusiastically.

 

"Is this true Inuyasha?" questioned Kikyo curiously.

 

Finding himself suddenly pinned by three very intent and eager stares, the hanyou found himself growing more and more self conscious. In an effort to keep his blush from showing too much, he averted his gaze.

 

"Well?" urged Karura impatiently.

 

"Shut up dammit! So I know the great lord of the western lands! Big deal! What are you gonna do about it?"

 

"Well, we can't really help but be curious. How on earth did someone like you ever got to meet someone so high ranking as him?" taunted Shunran.

 

A pair of warning growls emanating from both Kikyo and Inuyasha promptly wiped the smirk off her face though. "Sorry about that," she apologized grudgingly. "But still, how did you meet him anyway? You don't exactly strike me as being his type."

 

"I'm not his type and I don't plan on ever being his type is that clear!?"

 

"You're being awfully defensive about this Inuyasha," observed Karura with a puzzled frown.

 

"All right, this conversation's over!" snapped the hanyou before bounding away.

 

"That's weird, I've never seen him so worked up before. I wonder what could have gotten into him," reflected the human girl curiously.

 

"Who knows... but one thing's for sure, we're definitively not going to find out about it anytime soon," concluded the youkai with an indifferent shrug.

 

"And no thanks to you two blabbering fools!" admonished Kikyo sternly. "You should have known better than to press him on what was obviously a delicate subject!"

 

"You lecture us, but deep down, you're as curious as we are," replied Shunran.

 

"I won't deny it. But at least I have sense enough to know when to press and when not to press!" snapped back the miko before stalking away.

 

"Where are you going?" called Karura.

 

"To try and repair the damage you two caused!"

 

With that said, she whirled around and followed after Inuyasha's trail. Even with her dimming senses, it wasn't hard to follow him, his anger amplified his presence tenfold. After a few minutes of wandering, she came upon a nameless tree and looked up to see the hanyou sitting on one of its branches.

 

"You know they didn't really mean to upset you like that," she called in what she hoped was a soothing voice.

 

"Well they did," came the flat answer.

 

Suppressing a sigh, the miko sat down at the base of the tree and looked at the afternoon sky with a bit of apprehension. "You know Inuyasha, I finally did manage to get Karura to teach me."

"You did? Well good for you."

 

Gritting her teeth in frustration, the woman continued on nonetheless. "She told me why I've been feeling so anxious today."

 

"Oh? And what did she say? That you're going to be turning into a full youkai or something?"

 

"No... in fact, it was quite the opposite. She told me I'd be turning back into a human... tonight."

 

Silence. She could practically feel Inuyasha's astonishment and it took everything she had not to gaze up to see the look on his face at this very moment. As it was however, she didn't have to wait long before the figure of the hanyou obscured her view as he jumped down from his perch and crouched right in front of her.

 

"The hell are you talking about wench!? You can't very well turn into something you already are!"

 

"Actually, what she meant was that the youkai blood in my veins would go into dormancy tonight. She said to me to be careful as I'd be slightly more vulnerable, but otherwise I'd be pretty much okay as it won't make that much of a difference for me. However, for a hanyou like you, it's an entirely different story."

 

She saw him stiffen and knew she had marked a point. "You... know? But how?"

 

"You said it yourself Inuyasha. The youkai blood now flowing through my veins, where is it coming from?"

 

The hanyou's eyes widened briefly in both remembrance and realization before his serious expression returned. "So we share the same night of weakness. Why on earth are you telling me all this?"

 

"I don't really know," admitted the miko quietly. "I just felt like sharing this with you. Ever since we started this quest, I can't help but feel like we've drifted apart somewhat. That precious moment by the lake when our two souls touched... it seems nothing but a distant dream now. Yet when I learned that we now had something in common... it was as if the distance between us had just grown a bit smaller."

 

The hanyou looked at the miko for a long time without saying anything. Several times he opened his mouth as if to say something but then thinking better of it. Finally, he sighed deeply and looked at the ground.

 

"A lot of stuff's been happening to us lately, so think nothing more of this."

 

He regretted his words just about as soon as he said them because he saw Kikyo's body stiffen with hurt. "Great, here I go again making things worst instead of better," he admonished himself mentally.

 

"Dammit, don't take this the wrong way! I just meant that we're too busy to give in to our feelings!" he exclaimed angrily and saw a completely unreadable look wash over the woman's face. Thinking he had done wrong again, he was about to try and speak up when Kikyo interrupted him.

 

"You mean you still... care about me, even after all I did to you?" she whispered, relief evident in her voice.

 

"The hell are you talking about, of course I still care!"

 

"But... I've been... treating you like dirt... since the beginning of our journey..."

"Keh! You showed me more care and respect than anyone I've ever known!"

 

"I... I have?"

 

"Damn, do you need your memory jarred or something? When Shunran insulted me a few minutes ago, you growled at her. And yesterday when you put her back in her rightful place after admonishing me? Or when Karura refused to eat the fish I'd caught and you almost ripped her head off? If that's not caring then I don't know what it is!"

 

The miko felt somewhat shaken up by this revelation. Everything the hanyou had just said was true, she had taken his side on just about every occasion she could find. Now that she actually thought about it, when Karura had used Inuyasha as a support to help her walk, she had felt her blood boil with jealousy. So why was it that she felt as if the two of them had drifted apart so much? Why was it that she felt so... alone?

 

"Kikyo, I'm not sure exactly how to say this... but are you sure there really is a distance between us?"

 

"Are you saying I'm imagining things?" shot back the miko, suddenly defensive.

 

"Don't put words into my mouth wench! What I'm saying is that you act like a youkai but you still try to think and feel like a human! You gotta change that... 'cause that ain't going to work ever."

 

"You say this as if it was an easy thing to do!" snapped Kikyo irritably. "But if I change the way I think and feel then I'll lose what's left of myself!"

 

"Keh! You're the one who's stupid Kikyo! My blood might be able to change the nature of your powers. It might also be able to alter your physical abilities and your damn behavior. But it can't change who you are! When you awoke for the first time after drinking my blood, you were still the woman I kissed on the pier. Right now, you're still the woman I've kissed and tomorrow you'll still be the woman I've kissed."

 

"You... really believe that?" replied the miko, feeling a spark of hope radiate through her chest.

 

"Yeah, I do!" shot back the hanyou gruffly, though the reddening of his cheeks spoiled the effect somewhat. "You once said to me that you were a human who couldn't afford to be human. But the truth is... that you were a human who was afraid to be human, right?"

 

An arrow piercing her stomach at this very moment would have probably had less of an impact than what the hanyou had just revealed. How many nights had she fallen asleep with tears in her eyes. How many nights had she craved the feel of a man's arm around her? And yet... how many proposals had she turned down? How many men has she sent on their way with a kind rebuttal? True, some had been bad, but quite a few had been both kind and sincere in their words. Yet she hadn't allowed herself to surrender to her emotions. She had always kept her heart safely out of reach.

 

"Inuyasha..." whispered the woman, desperately trying to find something to answer to the hanyou's heartfelt speech.

 

"Don't be afraid of yourself Kikyo... 'cause believe me, you really have nothing to be afraid of."

 

With that said, the hanyou turned around with every intention of walking away and leaving the woman alone with her thought. However, at the last second, he stopped as one last thought entered his mind. He remained immobile, for a few seconds, pondering if he should share it with Kikyo or not. Finally deciding on the first option, he shifted his gaze sideway and spoke.

 

"You were right about one thing though. It's nice to know that someone else actually shares my weakness."

 

And the hanyou bounded away before Kikyo could even hope to formulate an answer.