InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Kagome's Boom Box ❯ Bad Touch ( Chapter 3 )

Kagome's Boom Box

Part 3

Shippo casually picked up the empty CD case and examined it. After turning it over in his hands several times, a puzzled expression appeared on his face.

"Hey, Kagome?" he inquired.

"Yeah?" she answered.

"What's a bloodhound?"

"A kind of dog. Why do you ask?"

Miroku took the case from the fox and looked it over.

"According to this, the disc you put into the boom box has something to do with a 'Bloodhound Gang.'"

"WHAT!?" Kagome screamed as just at that moment, the song came on.

Ha-ha, well now! We call this the act of mating

But there are several other very important differences

Between human beings and animals you should know about…

"WHAT?!!?" everyone sweatdropped, unable to believe what they had just heard.

"I thought I left that one at home!" Kagome forced out, despite her shock.

Sweat, baby, sweat, baby, sex is a Texas drought

Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about

"What kind of song is THIS??!" Inu Yasha demanded, a clear blush all over his face. If he didn't know any better, he could have sworn that the ends of his ears were burning in embarrassment.

"It's from some other country!" Kagome yelled back at him. "And in my time, songs like these are common!"

So put your hands down my pants, and I bet you'll feel nuts

Yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up

Meanwhile, Miroku was using the song's lyrics to his advantage. Feigning innocence, he casually picked up Sango's wrist and attempted to lead it somewhere. But before he could even get her hand close, Sango brought Hiraikotsu down on the monk's head twice in time with the beat, leaving two very big lumps behind.

You've had enough of two-hand touch, you want it rough

You're out of bounds, I want you smothered, want you covered like

My waffle-house hash browns

Not one to be discouraged, Miroku cautiously slithered his adventurous hands toward her butt and received a rather vicious slap to the face just as the lyrics "You're out of bounds" were played. Relenting for the time being, the monk restrained his hands to himself, rubbing his sore cheek.

Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex

Like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined

To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

"Isn't Coca-Cola that fizzy drink you bring from you're time, Kagome?" asked Shippo, scratching his head.

Kagome was too busy trying to regain her composure to answer the fox's question. Sango would have asked what FedEx was, but decided against it upon seeing what shape her friend was in.

Do it now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Do it again now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Gettin' horny now

"Kagome! This song is even dirtier than my language!" Inu Yasha remarked. "I'm not one to be talking about manners or decency, but what kind of sick f***ing idiots do you have over in your world?"

"I agree," Kaede chipped in, holding a ward in her hands in front of her. "The profanity this 'music' as you call it contains makes Inu Yasha sound like a gentleman!"

"Whoa!" thought Inu Yasha. "I got a compliment from the old lady!?"

"Inu Yasha?" Shippo looked up at him. "What does 'horny' mean?"

"Shut up!" the hanyou barked, a slight blush tinting his face. "Even I know better than to tell a kid your age that!"

"Aw, come on!" the fox whined.

Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket

Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it

Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas

But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory"

So if I capsize on your thighs high tide B-5 you sunk my battleship

"This thing is littered with lewd references!" Sango remarked.

"Feh! It's disgusting even to me!" Inu Yasha added.

"I actually kind of like it." Miroku smiled, snapping his fingers to the beat.

Everyone glared at the monk and sighed. It was no surprise that someone as lecherous as him would appreciate such a vulgar song. Miroku simply met their glares and shrugged.

Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip

So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle

Seeing that the monk was unfazed by both the stares and the music, Inu Yasha knew of an alternative way to embarrass Miroku. He grinned evilly as he glared down at the group below.

"Hey, Miroku!" he snickered. "Better fix your robes before somebody notices!"

This caught the houshi's attention, and he immediately moved to rectify his rather embarrassing problem. Unfortunately, Kagome's fist and Sango's boomerang found his face first.

And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files"

*BOOM*

As though Kagome had uttered the magic word, Inu Yasha came crashing down out of his tree, landing most unpleasantly on his head. The very mention of a dog demon behavior had stung him like a Hell Wasp and sent him, appalled, to the ground. He growled as he found his voice again.

"WHAT KIND OF F***ING PRICK INSULTS DOG DEMONS IN A F***ING SONG?!" he bellowed, his face red from the impact as well as the humiliation.

"He wasn't insulting dog demons, Inu Yasha." Kagome tried to explain, laughing nervously. Simultaneously, she was trying to calm him down so that he wouldn't destroy her boom box. "In a way…he was kinda paying tribute to them. Some people… like it that way…"

"What way?" Shippo asked.

"The way normal dogs… do that sort of thing…" Sango sweatdropped.

"Care to demonstrate?" Miroku reached for the taijiya's bosom and received a matching slap mark on his other cheek.

Do it now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Do it again now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Gettin' horny now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Do it again now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Do it now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Do it again now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Gettin' horny now

Much to the relief of everyone present, the song finally came to an end, and Kagome hastily stopped and put the CD away. She made sure that she put it at the very bottom of the CD carrying case so that they wouldn't run into a disaster like this again. Poking through the rest of her available collection, she pulled one out, looked at it, smiled and held it up before putting it into the boom box.

"Hehe… Here's a song I'm sure we'll all love!" she said, hitting the play button.

~~~~~~~~~~

Hehe.... this was the chapter that I started this fic for! I just didn't want to slap this one immediately in the beginning or it would've given away the surprise. Just to let you all know, I am taking note of your suggestions and am working to do chapters on them. For those of you who want Inu Yasha-specific songs, I intend to do them, but so as not to sound biased, I'm going to space them out.

What song will be next? You'll have to wait and see! Until then, whether you liked this or hated it, please let me know! It helps me write more and faster!