InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Kagome's Heart and Inuyasha's Feelings ❯ Chapter 2- Letting Go of the Past ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

"Inuyasha sure has been gone for quite awhile," Kagome acknowledged once her friends' tummies were all full. "He was so determined to get back to the village before nightfall. I guess I had better go and look for him before we lose track of time. Then we'll really be in trouble." The miko lept to her feet, grabbed her bow and arrows, slinging them over her shoulder and brushed the grass off of her skirt. "I'll be right back!" she told the others cheerily.

Miroku looked at Kagome worriedly. Should I say anything? Maybe it's best if I not say anything, but what if she sees Inuyasha and Kikyou together, then what? If I say it now, it's going to hurt her, she may even cry, but if I let her go, maybe she'll just bump into Inuyasha...yes, I think it's best I let her go on her own.

"Is something wrong, Miroku?" Sango asked, edging towards him a bit. "You've been very quiet the whole time we were eating. That's not like you. Normally we all talk, but you seemed to concentrating on other things."

Miroku sighed and gazed over at slayer's concerned expression. "Sango, I suppose I should have told Kagome-sama this before she left but, I think I saw Kikyou's shinidamachuu."

"Oh no, are you serious Miroku?" Sango asked quietly, placing her hands over her mouth. "If Kagome-chan spots them together, she..." but the demon slayer couldn't finish her sentence.

"Yes, I know," the houshi sighed as he rested his chin in his hand. "Maybe I should have said something to her and prevented her from going?"

"Well, either way Kagome-chan was bound to find out. I just hope he isn't doing anything with Kikyou that might upset Kagome too much. I honestly don't know how much more her heart can take of his two-timing," Sango pointed out silently. The two were trying to keep from Shippou, who had fallen asleep after a full belly, awakening to find out that Inuyasha went off in search of Kikyou after picking up her scent.

"I don't know, my dear Sango, but I suppose if we hear 'osuwari', we'll know that it can't be pleasant," Miroku sighed. "In the meantime, why don't we enjoy the alone time we have together?"

"Miroku," Sango began, too worried about Kagome to focus on alone time with him, but her worry was vastly broken as the monk moved right up next to her and placed an arm around her shoulders. Sango felt herself blushing and she turned her head not allowing him to see the pink shade now on splashing gently across her cheeks. However, the blush quickly left upon the lecherous monk placing a hand on Sango's rear-end and rubbing it as though it were a cat.

SLAP! that's all that could be heard as Kagome jogged away from the others and she giggled, knowing that Miroku and Sango were taking advantage of their alone time together. Maybe this time Sango and Miroku could confess their feelings for one another in private.

"Inuyasha!" called Kagome as she continued to walk through the forest, gazing upwards at the trees swaying in the warm breeze. "Where are you? We have to get going you know! You were so determined to...," Kagome's breath caught in her throat as she heard voices. The miko hurried and hid behind some brush and peeked up over the leaves at the sight that befell her, a dreaded sight that Kagome did not want to see or even remotely witness.

Kikyou was now leaning up against the base of the tree, her soul collectors slowly encircling her pale body, continuing to give off their siren-like tune softly into the air. Inuyasha sat near her, crouched down to her level. No...this can't be! Please tell me this isn't the reason that Inuyasha left us all alone! It has to be...Inuyasha had to of been drawn to Kikyou's scent. Why would he do this to me? Why now? After he promised me he would protect me and promised he wouldn't leave my side ever again, here he goes again, after Kikyou. Why do I continue to let myself struggle through this? Why do I keep allowing my heart to break every single time Kikyou's around? It's because I love him. I love him so much, but he doesn't love me...not in the way that he loves Kikyou.

Kagome sat hidden by the bushes and a lump began to form in her throat. She strained her ears hard to try and hear what Inuyasha and Kikyou were talking about, but she couldn't hear a thing. The miko just saw them speaking with one another. She watched as Inuyasha began to slowly rise up from his crouched position. The soul collectors had now lowered themselves down to the undead priestess and gathered her body, lifting her up until they vanished in the sky, leaving only Inuyasha to stand and gaze upward. She tried to get a glimpse of his facial expression. Was it sad? Sad that Kikyou was leaving once more? Kagome couldn't handle it it anymore and she couldn't hold back the tears she had been fighting since she saw Inuyasha and Kikyou together. They broke free, slipping down her cheeks one right after the other and she let out a small sob the she couldn't control.

The perfect, white triangles on top of the hanyou's head flicked back and forth as he picked up the sound. It sounded too familiar. With a feeling of dread in his heart, Inuyasha turned around. The hanyou had picked up Kagome's scent quickly, followed by the scent of her tears and the sound of her sobbing. He turned around to see Kagome who was now standing up and staring at him with a look of shock, disbelief and intense hurt crossing her beautiful facial features. She had one of her hands raised up to her mouth in a loose fist. How could he do this to her again?

"Inu-yasha...w-why?" Kagome choked out, staring at him. The miko couldn't stand to see his face anymore. It was ripping her heart apart, tearing it into shreds, leaving the torn pieces to float somewhere deep inside of her very soul. Kagome couldn't take the pain anymore. She turned on her heel and began to run as fast as her human legs could possibly carry her, away from him, away from what she had hoped was a love forming, away from an empty promise.

"Kagome...," the hanyou spoke quietly to himself as he watched the broken miko run from him. Dammit! Why didn't I know Kagome would have come! Couldn't she hear us? Couldn't she hear me telling Kikyou that I couldn't see her anymore unless it was an emergency or had to do with location of Naraku? Didn't she hear me say that if Kikyou needed to see me, then she'd have to see all of us together and not me alone? Didn't she hear me tell Kikyou how important Kagome is to me? How long had she been there?

"Kagome, wait!" Inuyasha called out. He was bound and determined to track down her scent, find her and make her understand that his meeting with Kikyou had been completely innocent and he wasn't trying to go off and be secretive about it either. Didn't Kagome realize just how important she was to him? "Kagome! KA-GO-ME! PLEASE DON'T RUN FROM ME!" Inuyasha yelled, but the girl had already disappeared from his sight.

It was getting closer and closer to the new moon and the hanyou could already feel his strengths, not to mention his emotions starting to weaken. The closer the new moon was drawing, the more vulnerable and inadequate he felt. DAMMIT! Inuyasha cursed himself as he gave chase to the miko, hoping to catch up with her. He had to explain to her. He had to tell her what had happened, that his meeting with Kikyou had been purely innocent and that not once had he wanted to betray Kagome's trust. He felt a creature stirring in his chest, a wail of frustration threatening to escape. What if Kagome didn't want to hear him out? Damn these fucking human weaknesses!

~*~*~*~*~

Kagome could barely even see through her tears where she was going, let alone care to register which direction she was going. All the miko knew was that she wanted to run as far away from Inuyasha as quickly as she possibly could. If she had to, Kagome would get to the village herself and upon her arrival, jump down the well and just go home. If I...If I run into him before I get home, I'm going to tell him to just leave me alone! I can't handle this pain anymore! I can't take his games anymore! How could he do this to her yet again when just the other night he had promised he'd never leave her side like that again and he promised to always protect her.

"How could you betray me like this Inuyasha!" Kagome wept to herself as she stared ahead, still running, no she was sprinting, trying to find a way out of the coccoon of torture that she'd put herself into. The priestess never even noticed she was nearing her comrades once more. Kagome was too caught up in her pain to even really care that her friends were nearby.

Sango was glaring daggers down at the amorous monk with her fists clenched and veins popping out all over her forehead, signifying that she was angry, but Kagome paid them no attention upon arrival. She just kept running, her breaths coming in heavy, sobbing gasps. She attempted to wipe away the unrelenting tears, but it did no good. The demon slayer and the houshi stared as Kagome's retreating back, stopping in mid-fight. The two gazed quickly at one another and automatically knew that Kagome had caught Inuyasha with Kikyou.

"Kagome-chan!" called out Sango as she lept to her feet and began going after the young woman. "Kagome-chan what's wrong! Please tell me! Where are you going?"

"NO! I DON'T WANT IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Kagome screamed, but did not turn around. She threw her hands back in a dramtically waving gesture, her long black waves of hair flying out from behind her. "HE CAN STAY...I CAN'T! I'M NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE!" Her voice rang through the trees and was so choked with tears that were it not Sango, they may not have understood what she were saying. "JUST LEAVE ME!"

Sango stopped in shock as the words issued from Kagome's mouth, but she knew that the miko wasn't trying to hurt her. Kirara arrived just at Sango's heels and released a small squeak of concern for the devastated young woman.

"Kirara please, follow Kagome-chan. Make sure she doesn't get herself into any danger. Protect her since a certain someone seems to be too busy to realize what he's done," the demon slayer stated in a flat tone. Kirara squeaked in understanding and took off after Kagome, showing nothing but her twin tails as she ran into some tall grass to keep herself hidden from the miko. By this point, Shippou had awoken to Kagome's voice. He lept up as soon as Kirara began making her way in the direction the miko had gone.
"Wait for me, Kirara! I'm going to! Baka Inuyasha! What did you do this time!" the little kitsune remarked angrily as he ran to catch up with the demon cat.

The houshi approached Sango's side, resting a hand on her shoulder. A sigh issued from his mouth and he shook his handsome, dark head while closing his eyes. Miroku felt like it was his fault Kagome had seen this. Maybe he should have told her?

"Poor Kagome-sama," he began, standing at Sango's side. "Maybe I should have just told her. At this rate, she'll make it back to the village before we can even get there."

Sango whirled around furiously, her face turning red with anger now. "How could Inuyasha do this again to Kagome-chan! How could he just go off and sneak around like that! Didn't he just promise her the other night that he would always stay with her, Houshi-sama!" the demon slayer screeched, grabbing the front of his robes, trying to suppress her outrage towards the hanyou.

Miroku stared down at the blazing eyes of the demon slayer and flinched slightly when he felt her grab his robes. The monk than calmed himself when he realized that he himself weren't in any immediate danger from Sango, but that the young slayer was just raging because of the hurt she saw in the woman she considered her dearest friend and sister.

"Calm down, Sango, let's not be rash," Miroku spoke gently as he pryed her clenched fists from the front of his robes. "Let's wait for Inuyasha to return, then you can be as audacious as you wish to be with him."

The demon slayer and houshi were interrupted in their conversation by the sounds of running coming towards them. A massive puff of dust billowed up in their faces as a very frustrated and shaking hanyou skidded to a stop next to them. They gazed upward as the dust began to dissapate to see Inuyasha standing there, an angry almost desperate look grazed his facial features and both of his fists were clenched at his sides. The hanyou was trembling and it wasn't from anger. Something else was causing him to be in the state he was.

"Where's Kagome?" the words came out of his mouth softly, not in those usual harsh tones he was so well known for.

"Well, apparently Kagome-sama had spotted you with Lady Kikyou. She just ran past here a bit ago, but she's already gone," Miroku began to explain. "I can tell she was headed back towards the village. Inuyasha, what did you do with Kikyou? Kagome-sama ran past here in tears and she told us to let her be, so tell me, why did you break the promise you made to the miko?" the houshi questioned seriously, clutching his staff and trying not to allow his frustration with the hanyou get the better of him.

"WHAT!? I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING WRONG!" the half-demon exploded. "I WAS SEEING KIKYOU FOR A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT REASON AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY, DAMMIT!" Inuyasha whirled around, his long white hair billowing out from behind him and slammed his fists into the first tree he could find.

"Sure you weren't," snapped Sango as she balled her fists even tighter, doing anything and everything she could in her power, willing herself not to hit the hanyou with all the force she could muster. "How could go sneaking around like that! Especially after the promise you made with Kagome-chan!"

Inuyasha had his back turned towards the others, his fists still buried in the tree he had just collided with. His shoulders were hunched and deep breaths issued from him. He lowered his head and pulled his, cut and bloodied fists from the bark of the tree. Two rather deep holes had been left where the hanyou had forced his hands into the tough oak. Inuyasha turned around and stared at the two, his golden eyes not filled with anger, but it seemed as though they were filled with frustration and hurt. A meek but mocking smile crept up on his face, but it wasn't the kind of smile to show that he was happy.

"Keh, so that's what you think is it? You think I went sneaking off with Kikyou and betrayed Kagome, right? You think I wanted to go off and see Kikyou even after I made the promise to Kagome I did the other night, right?" He stared at them. He wore the same grin on his face that he had worn after becoming an unstoppable youkai and slaughtering the group of bandits in a village when he had lost Tetsusaiga. "Well you're fucking wrong. I did go and see Kikyou, but not for the reason you think."

Sango and Miroku stood staring at the hanyou in disbelief, not daring to believe their ears. "So...you mean the visit with Kikyou, was purely innocent?" Sango asked softly, trying to catch Inuyasha's eye. He turned his head away from them, closing his amber orbs, not wanting to look at his friends. Of course it was! Why the hell would they think otherwise!?

"I saw this as my opportunity to tell Kikyou goodbye," Inuyasha told them quietly. "I saw this as the chance to tell Kikyou that I had promised myself to Kagome and that I had to let go of what we once had. All it is now is just a memory. We can't finish what we started. Kikyou is dead, Kagome is alive. Who else would be there to protect her from Naraku? I have to protect her. I won't let Kagome get into any danger anymore!"

The hanyou sighed and sat on the ground, staring into the remains of the fire that had been burning previously to cook their fish. "I did nothing with Kikyou and don't ever plan to do anything with Kikyou, so you have your story all wrong!" he snapped, feeling his temper flaring up inside of him. The closer it came to the night of the new moon, the more that Inuyasha's human emotions were building up inside of him, but he pushed them back, trying to act macho and tough like he usually always did. The hanyou turned his back to his comrades, folding his arms inside of the sleeves of his haori as he normally did so and stared at the ground. Kagome, how far did you go? It's so hard to continue tracking your scent down. I'm already starting to lose my senses. I will find you Kagome! I'll make you understand!

"Inuyasha...we're...so sorry. We had no idea that was your intention at all," the demon slayer admitted, a blush appearing over her cheeks. She felt guitly for reacting the way she did to the hanyou, but seeing Kagome so broken up had put her in a dangerous position of a piqued mood. Now that she had listened to Inuyasha speak, seen the way he looked and how he had punched the tree the way he had, Sango knew that his meeting with Kikyou had been completely innocent.

"Keh, well you never really ever give me a damn chance to explain myself, do you?" the hanyou shot back. "You always assume the worst and this time you were dead wrong!" Inuyasha lept up to his feet, his hands still clutched into angry, bleeding fists and he was still trembling somewhat.

"Inuyasha, what is it?" Miroku asked curiously, as he watched the hanyou quickly rise.

"What the hell do you think? I'm going to go and find Kagome!" he snapped at the monk, who took a step back as Inuyasha's golden eyes blazed at him.

"Now? Don't we need to get ourselves back to the village? I mean, it's nearing late afternoon. By the time we get there, nightfall could already be among us and you'll be human," the houshi pointed out.

"KEH! DO YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT THAT!? KAGOME IS MORE IMPORTANT, OKAY!?" Inuyasha yelled at his friends, not caring to hide his anger and much worse the pain creeping up in his heart now. "IF YOU THINK FOR ONE MINUTE MY TRANSFORMATION IS GOING TO STOP ME FROM FINDING HER THEN YOU'RE FUCKING WRONG ON THAT ONE TOO!"

Sango and Miroku just stared at one another in a surprised manner as Inuyasha turned on his heel and took off running in the same direction Kagome had taken earlier, sprinting much faster than he normally would and taking great, leaping strides as he went. The hanyou was desperate to find Kagome and more than anything wanted to explain to her that what she saw was not what she thought, not at all. Would he be able to make her understand? Would Inuyasha be able to make her listen without recieving an assult of 'osuwaris' from the girl? Please, Kagome! I didn't do anything wrong! You have to listen to what I have to say when I find you, Kagome! It wasn't what you thought!