InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Kagome's Thoughts ❯ I Can Wait ( Chapter 1 )

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A/N: I wanted to do a drabble and I hope everyone likes it. For those of you following “Hunt”, rest assured that I have not given up on it. I just needed to do something a little different for once. I felt as if I needed to get something finished under my belt. Although, if I get a good response, I’ll continue. If anyone has something they would like to see, let me know and I’ll see what I can do. Thank you to jflorea for encouraging me to do what I need to do, despite what I feel my obligations are.


Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha whatsoever


I Can Wait


Loving someone is hard.

Sometimes it felt as if her soul would break apart at all the feelings she had bottled up inside her. If only he would allow her to do something nice for him without being insulted or scoffed at. Maybe then, she wouldn’t feel as if all her love were going to waste.


That wasn’t right, though. Her love wasn’t going to waste. Loving someone was hard, but it was worth it. Love could never be something that wouldn’t matter. Even if he never did acknowledge what he meant to her, even if he would never feel the same for her, she didn’t mind. As long as he knew that someone cared about him, then she was fine with that.


When she looked at him, sometimes he would let the barrier down, and she could swear he loved her, too. Other times, she wasn’t so sure. She knew it was hard for him, but sometimes, she wanted to ring his neck while yelling, “I love you, you big idiot!” But, that would never happen. As much as she wanted him to know, she wanted him to figure it out on his own. Because if he did, then maybe he would believe her. If she just told him, he would never see truth in her declaration. She knew he always felt unworthy when it came to anyone caring about him.


She thought about all they had been through together. It would have been easier if she had never come here, yes, but she wouldn’t change anything. If she hadn’t been brought here, she would have never met him, or any of the others, and that was something she considered hell on earth. It would be easier if she just went back home and never looked back. She could go on with her life, maybe even have an actual, normal life. However, though it would be easier, she could never do that. She knew what would happen if she did. She would go home and sit in her room and never come out. She would wonder for the rest of her life what would have happened if she would have stayed. She would live a miserable, normal life and be completely un-content with it. No one would ever measure up to him. No one would ever be as handsome, strong or brave. How in the world could they? He was an unfair standard that she knew she would hold everyone she ever met against.


He wasn’t even what she would have picked for herself, either. She could remember, a long time ago, when she was musing about what she would want in the person she spent the rest of her life with. She could distinctly remember thinking that she wanted someone that was the exact opposite of him. She giggled silently to herself. If only she knew then what she knew now.


If only his old love didn’t look so much like her, either. If only she could look like someone completely different. But, then again, they didn’t really look that much alike. She was younger than his old love and she always felt like they had very different eyes. She supposed that was true since they’d had such different lives. If only he could see the differences…if only a lot of things were different.


She knew that he could never choose between them. She kept reminding herself that it was the exact same thing her mother was going through. There were men that her mother had met, but try as she might, her mother could never let go of her father. It was a one time love. Then again, he had never had been married to his former love. They had never had children. It was the same and completely different at the same time.


When she got right down to it, all she could do was wait. She could wait for his lost love to decided what to do, wait for him to decided who he wanted to be in the company of more, wait for him to realize that what he had lost, he could never have again.


It wasn’t so bad after all. She could wait. They had things to do and places to go. All they had was quiet time to think during traveling and at night. She could wait because, while she waited, she could be near him, and talk to him, and even, when he allowed it, could hold his hand.


So, she would wait…


“Hey, Kagome! Get moving! We got shards to hunt!” yelled the very person she had been thinking about.


Kagome let a tired smile form on her face while she picked herself and her large, yellow book bag from the grassy hill she had sat upon.


“Coming, Inuyasha!”


The smile never left her face as she jogged to catch up with the boy with the doggie ears that she loved more than anything in this world or her own.


‘I can wait,’ she though to herself.