InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Kagome! Where are you?! ❯ Friends... and the means? ( Chapter 20 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 20: Friends . . . and that means?

Society note: Japanese marriage laws, before 1870, were very different from how they are now,
ok? Multiple wives were common and normal. A man in Sesshomaru's social position would
have 1 to 4 wives. Plus mistresses/concubines. So . . . Sesshomaru's mother does not have to be
dead for his father to marry at second time, ok? (It should also be noted that uncles marrying
nieces were also common) There was no limit, in law, to the number of
wives/mistresses/concubines, but there were customs that limited the number pretty severely, so
the harems of the middle east never developed in Japan, though, by law, they could have.

In cases with multiple wives; one wife, normally the first wife, but exceptions did occur, would
be termed the principal, or northern, wife. She would control the household.

Corrected by angelica Birmingham
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Kagome, even as she is wrapped in his tail, shivers. 'His tail, why would he wrap me up, if?' she thinks.

"But . . . " his voice catches, with emotion, "but . . . This Sesshomaru will not refuse your offer.
This Sesshomaru will not ignore your offer." he whispers.

They watch the sunrise, Kagome sitting beside Sesshomaru, wrapped in tail. She finds
Sesshomaru's hand and holds it .

A few minutes pass . . .

Sesshomaru, with a rare feeling of contentment, thinks, 'Yes . . . this is close to what I wanted.
When she was in my soul . . . I felt full . . . complete. While she was sleeping, all I could think
about was how to recapture that moment.'

His mouth twitches into a smile as he thinks, 'I'm glad she offered friendship, first. I don't know
how to make a friend. Enemies, yes. Servants, yes. But friends? Never. Accepting her offer is
much easier than making it.' He mentally shakes his head, 'Tell yourself the truth . . . I was afraid
of offering my friendship . . . afraid that if I said the wrong thing or acted the wrong way, I'd
offend her and drive her away . . . '

He gives a small sigh as he thinks, 'I thought about offering to marry her when she woke up. I
know how to do that. But . . . the only way I could marry her and make her my principal wife
would be over my mother's dead body. She'd never accept a human into the family, especially
after the mess father made. And Kagome has made it very plain that she does not like nor want
death and destruction, so . . . I don't know. All I know is . . ' He mentally shakes his head, 'I want
her. Like I've never wanted anything before in my life . . . in every sense of the word, but . . .
how to get her? I can't take her that would the worst thing I could do. She's got to offer herself to
me, and it's not just her body I want to be with, it's her soul, as well . . . but . . . how do I get her
to do that?'

"Sesshomaru . . . you need to know . . I acquired some of your childhood memories."
"You did speak during the night, this Sesshomaru assumed that was so from the sounds coming
from your mouth."

"I wish I could share with you some bad memories of my childhood. But . . . there is nothing
horrible to share, especially compared to your childhood. Even when my father vanished a
couple of months before my little brother was born, leaving the family buried in his bad
gambling debts, turned out to be a good thing."

Sesshomaru rumbles deep in his chest, Kagome, more feeling it, than hearing it, flashes him a
quick smile. "The . . . I'm going to put it terms you'll understand, Sesshomaru, so what I'm going
to tell you isn't the strict truth, ok. Our neighbors banded together and helped my mother. They
even brought my families problems to the attention of a local noble. He saw my mother's
calligraphy and art and he and other nobles have supported my family ever since."

Kagome thinks, 'The neighbors and the temple had a small fair to raise money, and a local TV
station covered it. They made a one minute feel-good story to fill the news on a dull day. But,
they showed some of my mother's art and that brought her to the attention of some very wealthy
art patrons. Their attention began my mother's climb to becoming one of the premier
calligraphers in Japan. So . . . even my father's leaving us, without any warning and we've heard
nothing from him since . . . was probably the best thing he could have done . . . '

A pause . .

Kagome untangles herself from his tail and sits a little bit away from him. She stares into his
face, as she says, "Sesshomaru. Sorry, Lord Sesshomaru."

"Yes."

"I don't know how to say this, but . . well, since we might be friends, I should be able to say
anything, right? Friends are supposed too able to say bad things to friends, because they can tell
their friends the truth, right?"

"This Sesshomaru believes that is how friendship is supposed to work."

"Good. Then you'll understand this."

Kagome rears back and she slaps Sesshomaru across the face.

His eyes redden and his hand grips her neck.

"I am not a sex slave. I do not like being thought of as one." she hisses out. "Especially when
you also changed my race. I am a human."

His grip loosens, but his hand remains around her neck.
"That, human female, was my raw lust in action." He pauses and releases her neck. "Since I was
not complete, it created its own world, and that world is not the same world that this Sesshomaru
would create on his own."

She nods, rubbing her neck. "Yes, ok. I should have realized that. I am sorry for hitting you."

Sesshomaru looks off into the distance, "However . . . friends are supposed to be honest with
each other, this Sesshomaru believes."

Kagome nods as she says in a small voice, "Yes."

"I will say this. My lustful side was speaking at least part of the truth. I do, as you should realize
from the bodily contact we've had, find you attractive. And I know, from how your body has
reacted to mine, that you find me attractive as well."

Kagome swallows. "Yes . . . I do. But I'm human, don't you hate humans?"

"Hate humans? Not really. Most bore me. The simplest way to deal with humans is to kill them."
His eyes narrow as he stares at her, "And as for you, Lady Higurashi Kagome. You are a unique
individual, one that however unfortunately is human, but I will not hold that against you."

She purses her lips as she thinks, 'Well . . . he insults me and praises me at the same time. But,
still calling me, Lady counts more than his causal dismissal of my humanity. So.'

She nods to him. "I think I understand."

A pause . . .

He thinks, 'That promise of later . . . do I use it to force her into a mating? No. I cannot force her
to mate with me. So . . . '

'That promise of later . . . I've got to bring that up and explain . . . ' she thinks.

Sesshomaru clears his throat at the same time that Kagome clears hers.

They look at each other, Kagome smiles and perhaps the ends of his lips twitch as well.

"You first, Lord of the western lands." He nods. "You made a foolish promise to me, Lady
Higurashi Kagome. A promise of a future mating."

She nods, her face flushes.

"The Lord of the Western lands, remembering that promise and the odd and unique
circumstances behind that promise, removes that promise from your obligations. This
Sesshomaru understands that it was made under duress and it is not a promise you would have
made under other circumstances."
Kagome licks her lips. She shakes her head. "No. Lord of the Western lands. I made a promise
and I will live up to it."

"May I ask why you wish to do it?"

"I just made a speech about trust and betrayal to my friend." Sesshomaru nods.

"I do live up to my promises, even if my friend forgives me of the promise, I will still feel like I
betrayed a trust. And I'm not going to do that, because I think my friend has been betrayed too
many times. I am not going to add to his list of betrayals." she pauses, "But about that promise of
mating, I do ask this of my friend, I have other friends, close friends."

Sesshomaru growls, but nods.

Kagome licks her lips and continues, "As I said, I do not like to hurt my friends. So, if I do fulfill
my promise it would be for only one time, and then . . . it will be forgotten about. I do not wish
to hurt my other friends."

"So, you will do it, but only to fulfill a promise and nothing more." Sesshomaru says in a dull voice.

Kagome's mouth twitches into what might be a smile, "Nothing more? No. Not quite. I'll
probably enjoy it." she pauses and thinks, 'I know I enjoyed it with Inu-yasha and their bodies
are very similar, so . . . '

She shakes her head, "No. strike that. I will enjoy it. I'm sure. But, right now, that's all it would
be . . . fulfilling a promise to a friend."

"Right now?" Sesshomaru whispers.

Kagome stares into the early morning sunlight. She is watching servants beginning to splash
about in the mud of the streets. She licks her lips, "A week ago, if anybody had told me, that I'd
made a promise like that . . . I would have thought them crazy, Sesshomaru. A week ago . . " she
shakes her head.

'A week ago . . . I did not . . . care for, and perhaps even love, you. But now . . . ' she thinks.

Sesshomaru reaches out with his hand to grab her for a hug, but . . . his hand stops half way and
retreats to his lap.

Kagome whispers, "I still feel . . . things . . for Inu-yasha. Those feelings are still there and they
are not getting weaker. But . . . " Tears form in her eyes. "But . . . I'd be lying, and I'm sure my
body would betray me to your senses, if I said I was not attracted to you."

"It would," Sesshomaru interjects.
"I'm afraid, Sesshomaru, afraid that if I do mate with you . . . what will happen to Inu-yasha. I
don't want to hurt him. I've promised myself that I would do whatever I could to make him
happy. But . . . if, no, when we return . . . " She glances at him, "and we are a couple . . . that
would kill him. I could never do that to him."

"He is stronger than you think." Sesshomaru states. 'He has fought me as an equal more often
than I care to think about.'

She looks at him, "You haven't seen him with Kikyo, have you?"

Sesshomaru raises his eyebrows, "Hmmm. You may be correct."

She swallows hard and her voice firming, "So . . . " she takes a deep breath and continues, "So,
if, no, when I fulfill my promise to mate with you, it must. . ." she stares at him in the eyes and
she whispers, "be only to fulfill that promise. Our two bodies must just be mating, nothing more.
And never again."

She stands up, her hand reaching for the buttons on her shirt, "Let's go back inside, Sesshomaru."
Her fingers undo the top button.

"No." He orders, "sit down."

She stops, "but . . "

"You said later in your promise. And later, it will be, but not now."

She stands in the doorway, unmoving.

Sesshomaru stares at her, a small smile on his mouth, "Sit, girl."

Kagome turns around, places her hands on her hips, purses her lips, 'He just sat me!' she thinks.
She nods and sits down, "Why?"

"A couple of reasons, first the servants are stirring, and I have less than no desire to be interrupted."

Kagome glances around at the servants moving about outside and she nods.

"Second; I've experienced mating many times, and doing it again, like the simple mating like
you have described, is not something important to me."

"Huh? But what about when I was in your soul?"

"That was my lustful side, what else would that side of me be thinking of, but mating?"

Kagome nods.
Sesshomaru continues, "Thinking back to previous matings, most were with females that did not
care about me. All they cared about was the power of the Lord of the Western Lands and not
about the person."

He grimaces, "Even my youthful matings, which at the time, I was so sure was love, were, now
as I think back, only lust, not true love."

"And. How does that apply?" Kagome hesitantly asks.

Sesshomaru gently grabs her chin and positions her head so he can see into her eyes.

"You are the first person, without exception, to care about me. Not my title, not my power, but me."

"What about your mother?" she whispers.

"My mother wanted the Lord of the Western Lands to be her son, so she could control him, and
through him, the lands of my father. Why do you think I am never at the family's castle?"

Kagome shakes her head, "No idea . . . "

"My mother took control over the castle upon my father's death and she controls it, to this day. I
left the castle. It was the only way to avoid killing her."

"But your title?"

"Is mine, but it is only a title, she controls everything else."
1. "I never thought . . . "

"That does not matter right now. What matters is," he says, staring into her face. "I do not wish
any mating with you to be the soulless mutual masturbation, such as you have described."

"How? Why?"

"You were in my soul. I could feel your emotions, all of them. You care about me."

"I care about all my friends." she whispers, tears in her eyes. "I cannot betray them, just for you."

He releases her chin. "I know."

He stands up. "Your promise of a mating was for later. I gave you the chance to avoid it. And
you declined. Very well. We will mate, but it will be later. Somehow . . . I will find a way for
our mating not to be soulless."

A pause . . .

They stare at each other eyes . .
Kagome thinks, 'gods . . . Why? I thought when you started to feel things, like love, for a new
man, you fell out of love with anybody else. So, why gods, why I am still in love with Inu-yasha
at the same time my feeling of caring and love for Sesshomaru grows . . . '

Sesshomaru thinks, 'I will find a way for her to love me. And only me.'

"The servants are here with breakfast." He points to a group of human females approaching them.

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the end of chapter 20

Sighs . . . I had hoped to advance the subplot with the emperor and life as Japan enters the iron
age, but . . . the conversation between Kagome and Sesshomaru just keeps expanding . . .

IF Sesshomaru's thoughts seem confused that is on purpose. He is confused. He wants her, but
taking her will not work. And he's never been in a situation like this before . .

Just to make things as clear as I can. Some explanations of my thinking. Most Kag/Sess stories
have Kagome & inu-yasha splitting up and Kagome then falling in love with Sesshomaru. I
wanted to do something different. So . . Kagome is in love with Inu-yasha. But . . . her feeling of
love for Sesshomaru . . is growing. And I'm not going to give her an easy way out of that love
for Inu-yasha . . .

Kagome & Inu-yasha having sex, as implied above. See my story "spring Fertility festival"
hmmm.. It also has some hints about Sesshomaru's family history & Kagome's family that I'll be
mentioning in the next couple of chapters.

General notes:

Author's note: While the majority of reviewers are happy at my pace, there are a significant
number of reviewers (25% or so) that think I'm going too slow. Ok. Let's put it this way. They
have only been together basically one week (7 to 8 days). Would Kagome flip up her skirt and
sex with anybody in a week's time?

An author's note two: Hmmm . . . when I was planning (and in the early stages, writing,) this
story I thought up a large number of worlds to send Kagome and Sess. I have, now, pretty much,
finalized the list of worlds. What I'm going to do is at the bottom of various chapters give a short
synopsis of the worlds that did NOT make the cut. (There's about a dozen or so that did NOT
make the cut.)

Now . . there is room for the addition of a couple of worlds and there are a couple of worlds that
just barely made the cut, so, if, you the reader, wish to comment about these worlds, feel free. I
could change my mind and add/switch them, but don't bet on it.
I will not (cannot actually) use this world . .

Pern from Anne McCaffery: Kagome & Sesshomaru acquiring a bronze and gold fire-lizard . . .
Before humans arrive, before thread . . . They were going to vacation/honeymoon on the
southern continent making love . . . sighs. She doesn't like fan fiction of her stories, so . . . I will
respect her wishes and not do it . . .

Thank you for reading, Jeff Shelton