InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Kerioke Night ❯ Kerikoke Night ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: **two girls on stage with spotlight on them**

Excel: Hey, Ha-chan! Why don't you tell all these nice people what we own and what we don't ^_^!

Hyatt: Okay… well I suppose I should start out with the fact that we don't own InuYasha, any songs by Little Richard, Kenshin, `Freckles,' PokÄ›mon, Pocky, the Macerana, anything by Pink, Sponge Bob Square Pants, the songs Kikyou Must Die or Deck the Halls with Kikyou's Innards, anything by Eminem, or Excel Saga. **Completely out of breath and coughing up loads of blood**

Excel: Wow, do we own anything?

Hyatt: Well, we seem to own the moldy turkey sandwich you're eating.

Excel: Er, well not really… Excel kinda jacked this from an old homeless guy on the street… Well Excel owns Il Palazzo and Miroku! ^__^ **Lawyers eyeing her glancing pointedly at their briefcases** Fine!! Excel doesn't really own them! Excel doesn't, Excel doesn't, Excel doessssn't!! There! Are you happy??!! v^o^v-wahhh!

Hyatt: -_-V Perhaps if we ignore her she'll disappear… Hmm doesn't seem to work very well does it?

Excel: **Happily eating her sandwich** ^.^

Hyatt: Well enjoy… ^_^V Oh, and a little P.S. on my part, the characters aren't really in character. We both apologize profusely for that, **bows then glances at Excel and motions for her to do the same**

Excel: Oh ahh (oh yah) **moldy crumbs spray every where** er eal sowee (we're real sorry)

Hyatt: **rolls eyes and sighs loudly** Once again enjoy… **drags Excel off stage by her collar**

You are cordially invited to a kerioke party:

Hosted by: Lord Sesshomaru of the Western Plains

Where: his place

When: June 12, 1498 at 7:00PM

Notice: There will be plenty of sake so come prepared!

June 12- Sesshomaru finishes a shot of sake and walks onto the stage.

Sesshomaru (S): Hello every one! I do hope you're having a good time! But before we get started I have my own little ditty to present. (Turns to his left and the spot light follows his gaze to shine on a slightly confused Jaken) Play that fuzzy music Jaken (Music starts)!!

I feel good!!

Rin (R) (in cute cocktail dress): Na-na-na-na-na

S: And I knew that I would

R: Na-na-na-na-na

S: So good

R: Bount-bount

S: SO good

R: Bount-bount

S: I got-a you!!

R: Bount-bount-bount-bount

S (accepting applause from crowd): Thank you! Thank you Western Plains! I'm here all night!

Sesshomaru walks off stage to make room for the next singer. Hojo enters.

Hojo (H): Hehe (nervous laughter) I don't exactly know how I got to Fudal Japan but Kagome, this is for you. Hold it, one more sake (takes a gulp)!!! Jaken, start it up mah main man!!

I brush against the freckles that I hate it so

But my life goes on and I heave a little sigh for you

Kenshin and H: it's heavy, the love that I would share with you

Then it dissolves like it was just a sugar cube!

Now the little pain sittin' in my heart

Has shrunk in a bit, but it really doesn't hurt me now

Those silly horoscope signs

Guess I can't trust them after all

If we could get further away, Oooooo (glass begins to break and dog demons begin to howl)

Kenshin: oh sorry `bout that! I really don't know what I'm doing in Fudal Japan either but I heard my song and came running!! I really do apologize and I should be going cause I wasn't actually invited. Hey (realization)! I'm crashing my first party (punches air with fist and jumps uber cutely)

Koru: (pulling Kenshin off stage) yah you're such a rebel now come on we gotta go. Sanno's gettin' completely sloshed.

Sanno and Sesshomaru are giggling in the corner while drinking much sake!!

****************** AND NOW FOR COMPLETE RANDOMNESS!!! ****************

Ash is walking along a path, Pikachu on his shoulder, a young girl catches up to them (Excel), and looks up at Pikachu.

"Pika-pika," says Pikachu.

"Pocky, Pocky (pronounced here as `poke-ie')" replies Excel.

"Pika-pika-pika."

"Pocky-pocky-pocky." States Excel shaking her head.

Ash looks puzzled; Excel skips off into the sunset.

********************* ENDING OUR COMPLETE RANDOMNESS *******************

Naraku (N) and InuYasha (IY) enter the stage squeaking (the shoes) the entire way.

N & IY: This song we wrote our selves! We don't even need background music.

IY: hit it Raki!!

N: gottchya Yashi!!

Random squeaks fill the room.

N & IY: (not even noticing the crickets chirping) Hey! That was great! (They slap each other a high five and walk off the stage still squeaking)

Next: Miroku (M)

M: I need a bit of help for this song, so my dear lady Sango please come up and play along with me (smirking slyly as Sango walks up on stage). Here Sango stand here, right in front of me! ^__^ Jaken hit it!

(to the tune of the Macerena)

One stroke her legs (completes action)

Two pat her butt (Ditto)

Three grab a little bosom (yah, you guessed it)

Ahh, Sango's gonna slap me!

SA: What!?!

M: Oww!

Miroku is thrown off stage by Sango who only had the strength to do so because she a little more than seriously plastered. She remains on stage to sing her song:

Sango (SA): Heya! Nahr-nahr-nahr, nahr, nahr, na-nahr!

(to the tune of Missundustood by Pink)

I don't win big battles

I don't support mah village

I don't listen to directions

And my clothes have never been cleaned.

Nobody dated me

Everyone hated me

They always sent me off to fight

`Cause I can't do nothin' right.

Every day I fight a war

Trying not to shatter the mirror

And I can't stand the person groping the back of me (Miroku looks back at every one staring at him "What?!")

I'm a hazard to my self!

Don't let my Boomerang-bone get me!

It's my own worst enemy…

SA: NAHR!! (Being pushed off stage by Pink)

Pink: You cannot carry a tune, good-bye, and good night.

They both exit stage right, which happens to lead straight into a boiling pot of lava, which is there for no apparent reason! (talk to Excel about it ^__~*)

Kaede (K) walks on stage. Shippo (SH) and Rin soon follow, they happen to have been hitting the sauce a little hard (the applesauce that is).

K: this one was made for my nick-name-sake, which happens to be Patchy the pirate, just call meh Patchy!! (Yah, really drunk)

Are yah ready, kids?

SH & R: Aye-aye Patchy!

K: I can't hear you!
SH & R: AYE-AYE PATCHY!

K: Oh who lives in an invisible castle in Fudal Japan?

SH & R: Uncle Naraku!

K: Stringy, and greasy, and smelly is he!

SH & R: Uncle Naraku!

K: If random evil schemes be somthin' you wish

SH & R: Uncle Naraku!

K: Then hop on the stage and try on cosmetics!

SH & R: Uncle Naraku!

All: Uncle Naraku

Uncle Naraku

Uncl-llllle Naraku-uuuuuuu

Soul Piper makes a guest appearance to play flute solo!

A screaming Kagome in the middle of taking her shirt off rushes them all off stage.

Kagome (KA): (She looks down and realizes she has diddly to show) Oh, well then, Kikiyou-san? Do you think you could take it from here?

Kikyou (KK) nods and re-starts Kagome's show. The children are ushered to bed. Before Kikyou can finish she is interrupted by the howls of an inu-hanyou, who is also quickly ushered out of the room. Some new faces had appeared while all the attention was on Kikyou. They soon ran out of patience and kicked her off the stage.

Excel (E): Sorry Kikyou but I can do much better than you. Here Ha-chan ya wanna help?

Hyatt (H): (quietly and sounding slightly weak) uhh, I'd love to but…

E: Oh, that's right, (whispers) you have that chest condition.

H: It's not really a condition, I'm just slightly smaller than you and the rest of the world.

E: Yah, but being concave isn't "just slightly smaller," it's just really slightly sad! Well Excel's not doing this alone so we're gonna go onto show B. Jaken hit it! (NO music plays) I said hit it! (Once again nothing comes from the speakers. Excel stomps angrily towards the toady thing-y and begins to strangle it… the music soon starts)

H & E: Kikyou must die!

Kikyou must die!

Hack `er into mini pieces!

Kikyou must die!

Kikyou must die!

Shoot her with a machine gun!

Kikyou must die!

Kikyou must die!

Stab her `till she dies!

Kikyou must die!

KK: (really seriously drunk) That's the best song I've ever heard!! (She falls off of her chair laughing hysterically)

H & E: Well then you'll loooove this one (music to Deck the Halls starts)

H: One, two, three!

H & E: Deck the halls with Kikyou's innards

And we all laughed our lungs out

Naraku laughed with all his bounty

We all held hands with Fluffy (everyone mumbling, speculating about who Fluffy is)

Kagome got mad and started screaming: `Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit!'

InuYasha fell upon his face: `Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, stop doing that!'

Inuysha set Kagome on fire: `Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, sit, sit, sit, sit!'

We all love to call Sesshomaru Fluffy!

S: Don't call me that! My name is Sesshomaru!

E & H: Now Fluffy wants to kill us all

Run for your lives as fast as Kouga!

Kouga swoops out of nowhere to take the two freaks out of the room as Sesshomaru's hand begins to glow an eerrie greenish color. As all of this happened no one noticed Rin and Shippo sneak out of their rooms. Shippo found where they stashed the sauce (apple that is) and shares with Rin. They come out onto the stage and announce that they have a song that they'd like to sing.

Rin is in the background being DJ for little Shippo, as the music starts up Shippo has introduced him self as Homie, an Emenem song begins…

SH: Kagome, I never meant to trip you

I never meant to make you fall

But tonight I'm not pickn' up my toys!

(Rin runs the record and pulls a `wick-wicka' move)

They bow as they exit the stage. Sesshomaru comes on to the stage applauding.

S: That was a wonderful performance by our own little Homie, ^___^ how cute! Now it's time for the awards. (Drum roll begins) Third place goes to: Kikyou. Great job, come on up and get your web-cam! And second place is going to, what I think not (crowd begins to boo horribly), fine, fine, the team known as Excel and Hyatt. You may come and get your prize when I'm out of the room, I promised myself no killing tonight, at least not in front of the vast majority of guests. And finally first place is awarded to, AAAwww Homie and his adorable DJ! Come on up you two! (SH & R come back onto the stage) You have won one shard of the sacred jewel each!

SH: this is awesome! Come on Rin, let's go trade this in for some sauce! (and they walked out with all staring after them)

NOTE FROM EXCEL: I HAVE MUUUUCH MOUNTIAN DEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (NOT TO MENTION CITRUS DROP!!!!!!!) HAVE YOU HEARD OF FLUFF SCOUTS? NO, BECAUSE I MADE THEM!! BEHOLD THE BOAS OF SESSH-CHAN!! DO YOU WANT TO BE INDUCTED INTO THE FLUFF Scouts?? IF SO E-MAIL EXCEL At: mirokubabe1819@kazenokizu.zzn.com excel only takes 2 members so please tell excel how muuuuch you wish to be in the fluff scouts, if you have been to any conventions, annd which ones. Espesialy if you… like to waltz with potaoes, if beast boy can make yoy smiiillle… (gomen ne^__~)… have ben to da one with Kirby Morrow!! (Excel loves Miroku!! But she didn't go to dat one. v_V^) oh, yah!!! Gimme yoyR e-mail or excel can't do nothin' fo ya.

Dokkasou,

Excel!!!!!

jfjefjioregfngngjngjkjgffdjitrejogfhgjtrunfif59,kmv (mwa-ha-ha-ha!! Gomen ne, excel is a crazy bitch)191919191919191919191919191919191911918181818191181918191819181918191 8191891819 13!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. ha-chan's a hot potao###

Note from Hyatt: Kudasai, gomen ne! I admit it, I was the baka who gave her MD!! Gomen nasai!! Plus she jacked my Sessi-chan's saying!!! That wench will pay with her Mountain Dew, this one will see to that, that this one will ^_^!! Anywhosers, thanks for taking the time to read our insane ramblings (I swear, we are both thoroughly submerged in caffeine… well that was a little later into the fic than you may think <.<…>.>…^.^). Hyatt sees that Excel is slightly nuts, but that may just be because she claims that she's Kodachi (but that's okay `cause I'm a hot potato!! Shhhh!! Don't tell anyone… I'm afraid of ovens… [Excel's face at this very moment: T_T]), I have no idea what that had to do with anything… I just drank an entire two liter bottle of MD so my mind is going in like 20 different directions… ha, well I suppose that to have that happen I would actually need a mind in the first place… it leaked out due to anime overloads (Hyatt after a 12 hour anime marathon and about 5 two liter bottles of Mountain Dew: *.*). My offer to you… a date… gimme a description of yourself and the guy of your choice. I'm evil so it won't just be the first 3 to reply, no it will be the three that I like best… -_-V don't write to me telling me I'm a mean person `cause I could really care less (see I may be eee-vile but I'm a sweet evil hot potato… or aardvark youkai, you choose). So be original, funny… ENTERTAIN MEEE!!! I'll accept anything from anyone… including guys… I'm bored and need something to do… please reply!!!!

Cough-hack-bleed,

Hyatt

(The hot potato/aardvark youkai)

P.S. To anyone who can tell me how to say aardvark or any other random animal in Japanese I will personally… I dunno I'll just be real happy with them. And to be on my good side should be a good thing when I command my kamikaze penguins come down from the sky with evil rubber duckies strapped to their backs. I'm outta here… my mind left without me so I gotta go find it… Here half-a-mind, half-a-mind, here boy!

P.P.S. ahhh! I forgot to give all you nice people my e-mail address, (don't forget to send me yours)… sorry: fluffy_sesshomaru88@kazenokizu.zzn.com

Another note from EXCEL:

Hey amine fans!!!!^v^ EXCEL needs a friend! Can you guess EXCELs fave food? Do you know where EXCEL stashed Sango's body? If you can guess one of these EXCEL might even write back!!!!

Dokkasou,

EXCEL

12345678900-=`:TELL ME HOW TO INSULT SOMEONE IN JAPANESE/GET TO PLAZA SESEMO!!^v^* ha-hahahahahahah!!!<-Kudachiness, no?