InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Kikyou the Tragic Priestess ❯ One-Shot

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Okay, okay…first fanfic in a very long time…first Inuyasha fic…I don't own Inuyasha or any characters mentioned; Rumiko Takashi, Viz, and whatever else does. No flames please, all you Kagome/Inuyasha lovers…this isn't made up, this is part of the story, so it's not my fault. And if you read it through, you'll find it's no entirely Inuyasha/Kikyou either.


Kikyou, the Tragic Priestess

I can remember the times, way back then, fifty years ago. I can remember how it all started. I had always had a strong power for purifying things; even at a young age I knew it. I was not normal, like others. But I had never expected such things to come from my gift.

A group of people had come from a village away in the mountains, asking me if I could protect something. They told me the story of the Priestess Medoriko, and her fight with the demons. Her attempt was futile, though, and she ended up losing her own heart and soul. Her heart became the Shikon no Tama, the jewel the villagers were entrusting to me.

I wanted to ask, "Why? Why place so much trust in me, and why are you dragging me into this? Will this be a blessing, or a curse? What will happen to me?" But I asked no questions and took the jewel willingly.

That moment had changed my entire life.

At that moment I was transformed from a carefree adolescent to a woman. Not an ordinary woman, either. Something more, with more responsibility. All the responsibility to protect this sacred jewel was placed on me. I knew I could do this task, though. And I believe I did it well.

I still continued all other jobs I had in the village...making medicines, bandaging wounds, and caring for a certain thief who had stumbled into the village one day, and quite a few others. But I had new duties now.

I killed any youkai that got close. The demons were just careless, their lust for the jewel driving them blindly toward it. I did my job, though, and shot any that came even close with one of my sacred arrows. They never even saw it coming. Thus was the power of the jewel.

But if a human tried to come for the Jewel...how can a human kill a human? I had never been able to do it. I had to drive away all strangers who came close to the village. But there was one who just stood in my way. Could not take a hint. I still feel so guilty for what I did.

He had come too close to the jewel and was ultimately taken over by it. It was calling to him, and he had to listen. I would not let him have it though. He would not give up, and I was forced to. I killed him with one of my own arrows. I saw his blood - human blood - on my white shirt.

I had killed a mortal man with my own hands, and I would pay for it, too. For a month after that I suffered nightmares. I could not eat much; only the soft reprimands from little Kaede forced me to eat. I felt odd and weak.

But, it was then that a new threat came into play. His name was Inuyasha. He wanted to steal the jewel to make himself a full demon. I fought him many times, but after killing the man little more than a month before, I could not bring myself to kill Inuyasha. He always asked me, "Why do you never kill me? Why do you never finish me off!?" but I never answered his question, only told him to stop coming after the jewel, and that I did not want to waste any more arrows pinning him to trees. I tried to deter him, make him stop trying to come after the jewel. But nothing could sway him.

So I decided to go for less violent actions. I found my chance one day while I was taking a break on a grassy hill, looking down on the village. I sensed Inuyasha was watching me. "Inuyasha, I know you're watching me. Come out."

Seemingly unwillingly, he came from his hiding place. He frowned, and I smiled back. I was hoping to make peace with him, to try to make an agreement. But instead I found myself asking, "What do you think of me? Do I seem...ordinary to you?" What was I asking him? I was not completely sure myself. That day I claimed never to reveal my weaknesses to anyone, but I had told him the one thing that would catch me off guard.

"Inside, I am an ordinary woman. Yet I cannot reveal myself as such. In many ways we are similar, both outsiders. That is why I was unable…to kill you."

He stood up sharply and told me, harshly, "Quite whining. We've all got our cross to bear."

I understood what he was saying. "You're right. I shouldn't complain, " I said, smiling sadly. I felt more lonely than I ever had now; the small flicker of hope I had never realized faded out. I had wanted someone to relate to. And he had just hurt me more than he could ever know.

The look he gave me then was one I would never forget. He looked almost like he was guilty of something, and it looked like that had been the first time he had ever felt that way in his life.

That night, as I lie in bed, I realized I had developed feelings for Inuyasha. He was all I had thought about for a while. And I realized that I had never actually thought of killing him.

For a while after that, I found him following me, and I was following him in return. I sensed his stare from atop a roof, or following me at a safe distance as I walked through the woods. I followed him where he went, not sure whether he sensed me as I sensed him when he was following me. And I knew that my feelings had turned into something more. Something that seemed so wonderful and inhuman.

We started to converse; apparently he was aware of me pursuing him constantly. Did he tire of me? Did he even care? We talked more and more often, and I fell more and more in love. And he seemed to not care.

But that one day, when were traveling down the river… He had helped me gather sharp stones for arrowheads. When we got to the dock, and I got off the boat, I was a clumsy fool. I tripped - right into his arms. My heart started beating faster, and I could feel my face turning red. Hoping he would not see my blush or feel the heartbeat, I started to stand up. But...Inuyasha was holding me tightly. I stayed in his warm embrace and longed for time to stop at that single second.

But it did not, and I found myself pondering again that night. A million thoughts flashed through my mind. Did Inuyasha feel the same for me as I did him? Why else would he hold me so close? If not, why had he done that? Had he poisoned me, or tried to catch me with my guard down to find my weak points? That could not be so...he would never do such a thing. One thought slowly crept into my mind, almost overcome by all the others until I found it. What if Inuyasha were to use the Shikon Jewel to become a mortal? The Jewel would be purified, most likely, and I could go back to being...at least as normal as I had been before I was brought into this.

And I could live with Inuyasha, as a normal woman.

The thought was just too good to be true. I decided to tell Inuyasha my plan, my theory tomorrow. But would he accept it?
The next day I told him. I had stayed up all night and worked it out in my head. I told him about the Shikon no Tama and how he might use it.

"Me, become a human?" he asked.

"It's true you are half demon, but you are also half human," I reminded him. "If the Jewel fell into the hands of a demon, their powers would undoubtedly increase. However, if it was used to turn you into a human, it would be purified. The Jewel of Four Souls would most likely cease to exist."

"And then what? What would happen to you?"

"My duty is to protect the Jewel. Without it, I could live the life of an ordinary woman."

And he seemed to accept the plan. He tried not to show how much he liked the idea, but I could see it in his eyes. He had made his decision, even if he hadn't said it out loud.

"I will bring the Shikon no Tama to you at this very spot tomorrow," I told him. What better spot was there, on the hill that overlooked the village, the place where I had first asked him to come out from his hiding?

The next day I went and took up the Shikon Jewel, holding it tightly in my hand. I had a fluttering feeling in my heart, a mix of excitement and hope and love. Feelings I had never felt so strong before. I walked out into the field, clutching the jewel to my breast, a move that helped me be assured my heart would not flutter out of my chest.

I looked around, waiting for Inuyasha. I heard something behind me, and turned slightly to it. I saw a flash of red, then a darker red, then an overwhelming sense of pain. I fell hard to the ground, the Shikon Jewel escaping my clutch and rolling a bit away. I grabbed for it, but a foot stepped on it. I looked up, into the eyes of my attacker, and was...beyond shocked.
It was Inuyasha. The one I had trusted and loved. He had betrayed me.

"Fool. I never wanted to become human," he said with an evil tone. "But I will take the Jewel nonetheless. Thanks. This Jewel is about to absorb a great deal of pain and suffering. I'll use it to slaughter the villagers." This was not Inuyasha's tone. At least not the Inuyasha I knew. I felt a pain in my heart, like something had been ripped out. My heart had been ripped out. Sacred priestess Medoriko, is this how you felt when your heart was ripped out? I hope you did not have to suffer this kind of pain. I just could not believe it.

"Traitor," I whispered as I shook with rage. "Traitor!!"

I staggered back to the village, and was met by little Kaede. She helped me bandage my wound, although it was a failing effort. We both knew it was fatal, the wound Inuyasha had given me in return for my kindness.

"Kaede, when I die..."

"No! Don't say that!" she cried. "You'll live!!" The tone in her voice told otherwise, though. She knew the truth very well.
"Kaede, listen. When I die, burn me with the Shikon Jewel. That way no demons will be able to get it."

She nodded in silent approval, tears slipping from her eyes. I stood up carefully and grabbed my quiver and bow. I was off for a battle, what would more than likely be my last. I had to be strong for this. It would be the hardest task I would ever do.

I knew, then, that I must kill Inuyasha.

I heard a cry from outside. It was the villagers, crying about the demon Inuyasha. I ran outside and caught sight of Inuyasha, chasing him into the woods.

And, as I had him cornered, I aimed. "Die, Inuyasha!" This was the end of the damned hanyou. His treachery was over. I would not miss this time.

I let my arrow fly free and true. And it struck him in the heart. Just where he had struck me when he betrayed me. I heard him say something, like a plea, but I was not listening. My wound was bleeding more heavily now. Kaede came at a run and helped me lie down.

The last sight I saw was Inuyasha, bound to a tree with one of my arrows. And it was then I realized that it could not have been him who betrayed me, no matter how much I thought it had to be. I tried to smile, but every move was painful.
And my last thought was that no matter what Inuyasha did, I still loved him.

For all my pains in my former life, though, I've been reborn. My ashes were stolen, for Kaede had followed my wishes. And somehow the Shikon Jewel was back, and I have this awful feeling that there is no way this can come to a good end. The Shikon Jewel is a curse to all who come across it.

The most horrifying feeling, I think, is the need to stay alive. Since I am dead and ye walk the earth, I have a desperate longing to stay alive. And the only way to stay alive…is to hate Inuyasha. If I let go of the hatred, the revenge that keeps the small part of my soul inside my body of bones and grave soil would disappear, and I would die.

But my second life has no been in vain…I learned that it was the thief I tended to, Onigumo, or at least the being he is now, Naraku, that had killed me. It had not been Inuyasha, but that does not matter. Unless I can find some way to convert my revenge of Inuyasha into revenge for Naraku, I cannot find rest.

And now, I quaver at the thought…Inuyasha has fallen in love with another woman. A girl…she is my reincarnation. I cannot blame him for loving her; she seems kind, and she looks much like me. But my heart still trembles and quakes at the thought, and I feel this is the reason I cannot convert my revenge.

Sometimes I wish I just could die, that my will could be changed into love and my soul could rest. But it is not possible, for all that has happened, and because I am dead and my will must be unwavering for my desire to stay alive.

I am Kikyou, the tragic priestess, fated to live in misery and betrayal.