InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Killing Me Softly ❯ Chapter 1
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: kanna37 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Drama / Hentai / Romance / Angst | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 11.28.2011 | Pages: 6 | Words: 11.4K | Visits: 1.5K | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Drama / Hentai / Romance / Angst | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 11.28.2011 | Pages: 6 | Words: 11.4K | Visits: 1.5K | Status: Work In Progress
Chapter 1
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Inuyasha.
~sSs~
“Kagome...”
Inuyasha came to a halt behind the girl whose name he'd just spoken, his eyes pinned to her sadly as she stared out over the village, seemingly so far-removed from everything around her.
“Hm?” she responded distractedly, not looking at him, her gaze fixed instead on the sunset.
“I'm... sorry, for what's happened,” he sighed, knowing that his words were only half true. Yes, he was sorry the well closing had hurt her so much, but he wasn't sorry she was locked here in his era, with him. Now she would never leave him...
But he wasn't stupid enough to ever say such a thing, and his remorse for her pain at her loss was real enough, so she wouldn't ever know the difference.
“I just wish I knew why it had closed,” she said after a moment, the sadness thick in her voice. “Why now? Why did it close at all? I mean... that's the time I'm from – I would have thought that if it was going to close, it would have closed with me on the other side of it, you know?”
“But you promised, Kagome,” he said, stepping forward to stand beside her, “and maybe that's why it did that. Or maybe, it's just more proof that you belong here. That being here was your destiny.”
Eyes still resolutely on the sky, Kagome's shoulders slumped. “But you don't really need me here after the Shikon no Tama is found and Naraku defeated, Inuyasha. After all, you're going to hell with Kikyou, ne? Isn't that what you said? Where's that going to leave me once you're gone? I won't have anyone to protect me from the dangers here anymore,” she finished slowly, that fact suddenly hitting her hard.
Inuyasha blinked, startled. He hadn't ever thought of that before, but it didn't matter anyway. He'd no intentions of going to hell with Kikyou and leaving Kagome alone and vulnerable – he hadn't planned such a thing in a long time, truthfully.
“Kagome...” he started, “I... I'm not going to be going to hell with Kikyou when this is all over. I couldn't leave you here alone to fend for yourself.” He shrugged. “Kikyou will just have to go back by herself – or drag Naraku with her, which I think she plans to do, anyway. She wants him to suffer for what he did.”
At that, Kagome turned her face to look up at him, almost desperately searching his eyes for the truth of his statement, needing that confirmation of his words.
She found it, and a few tears leaked from her eyes at that as she wrapped her arms around herself, afraid to do what she really wanted to do, which was throw herself at him.
“Inuyasha...” she breathed, gratitude, and oddly enough, to the young male listening, misery, in her voice. “I'm so glad you're going to live – but are you sure you won't regret not going with... her?” she asked, subdued again. “I never wanted you to choose to stay with me just because I'm helpless here, and can't take care of myself in this time and place.”
Inuyasha shook his head at her, then reached out and pulled her into his arms, pressing her head to his chest. “Baka! That's not it at all! I mean, I wouldn't go and leave you here alone – but that's not why I'm staying. I had chosen to stay a long time ago – before the well closed. I'm staying because I want to, okay?”
Kagome slumped a little, allowing days of tension and worry to dissolve in his arms as she just enjoyed the peaceful moment between them. Her eyes drooped as he stroked his fingers through her hair... it was so relaxing. After a few minutes, she sighed, then pulled away.
“But does Kikyou know about this, Inuyasha? Or haven't you told her yet? I really don't think you can make up your mind so firmly when you haven't talked to her, you know. You might change your mind again.” Meeting his gaze sadly, she smiled, trying to make everything seem okay. “I won't hold you to it, if you do change your mind. After all, Kikyou came first, and I know that.”
With a frustrated sound, Inuyasha shook his head at her, then turned and presented her his back. “C'mon, wench, get on. We need to talk, and I don't want the nosy monk or Shippo butting in or snooping. It ain't none of their business.”
A little surprised, Kagome eyed his back for a moment, then decided to humor him and climbed on, clasping her arms around his shoulders and burying her face in his silver mane as he leaped forward and took off into the trees, reaching full speed almost immediately.
She became quite curious as they traveled for only a few seconds, and she looked around as they came to a halt and the hanyou let her down slowly. He almost seemed to caress her skin as she slid off his back, and she blushed, surprised, but certain she was imagining things in her desperation to feel his touch.
They were in an area with a sheer rock wall pierced by several small openings, though only one was big enough for them to actually go inside, and Kagome shot him a look – she knew this particular cave. They'd sheltered from a sudden storm there one day.
“Why'd you bring us here, Inuyasha? It'll be too dark in there before long, and we don't even have any blankets or anything.”
Nervously, Inuyasha reached out for her hand and grasped it, tugging her along behind him as he led her inside. “Keh. I'm not stupid, K'gome. I've got a fire laid in here, all I've got to do is start it, and there's some sleeping furs and things... I've spent a few nights here when you've been in your time. It's not as empty as you remember it,” he finished as they came around the small bend and into the cave proper.
He had the fire going in short order, and Kagome looked around wide-eyed. It was apparent he had, indeed, stayed here before. But what she couldn't figure out was...
“Why?” she asked, and he shot a confused look at her as the fire flared a little. “I mean, why have you stayed here instead of in the village?” Was he staying here so he could spend time with Kikyou?
He shrugged. “Mostly to get away from that hentai and all his stupid comments,” he said off-handedly. “It gets annoying after a while, you know? Plus, I hate being in the village when you aren't there...”
“Oh,” she said, eyeing him uncertainly, and then decided to let it go. If he had come out here to stay with Kikyou, there wasn't anything she could do about it, anyway. She didn't dare let herself consider the last part of his sentence...
Silence fell as the two just warmed themselves before the fire for a time, but then...
“So... why'd you want to bring me out here, Inuyasha? What did you want to talk about?”
Her words ushered in an odd tension, and she frowned, suddenly concerned. “Inuyasha? Is... something wrong?”
He shot her a glance, then shook his head slowly, though he seemed uncertain. “Not wrong...” he scooted closer to her and put an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into himself, and he heaved an invisible sigh of relief when she contentedly leaned into him, resting her head against his shoulder. “I just wanted to spend a little time with you, you know, without the others. We don't really get a chance to, anymore. I... I'm glad we've got Sango and Miroku and even Shippo, not to mention Kirara, but... there's times I miss when it was just us.”
Kagome blinked, surprised to hear Inuyasha say such a thing – for a moment. He must be trying to be a little more open because he feels bad about the well, she thought with an inward smile. He tries to hide it, but he has a good heart...
His words were true, though, and as much as she loved their friends, sometimes she also missed the times when it had just been them.
“Me, too,” she agreed with a small sigh. “It was kinda nice just being together, you and I, by ourselves.”
He squeezed her shoulder and tucked her closer into his side; she blushed a little as she wondered again why he was being so openly affectionate. It wasn't like him...
What she didn't know was that the hanyou had been doing a lot of thinking since the well had closed. With no way for her to go home, she would have to make a life here. That meant one of two things, really, since she was now considered an orphan with no family – she could become the village miko and take over for Kaede when the older woman passed, or she could marry, and settle down once the task of destroying Naraku and the jewel was complete.
He was pretty sure Kagome didn't want to take over as a shrine maiden, living alone for the rest of her life – and he certainly wasn't about to let her marry some village idiot and spend her days raising a family with said idiot.
No... if she was going to marry anyone, it was going to be him.
After all, hadn't she sworn to stay by his side? And since the well had chosen to keep her here, in his era, the only other thing that could pull her away from him would be another man. He suppressed a growl at that thought, and hugged her tighter.
His mind had been made up... but how to bring such a thing up to her without getting slammed into the ground?
He was well aware that in her era, unlike his own, Kagome, at barely sixteen, was just now old enough to be married. The laws in her time, as explained by her mother, stated that she was now old enough to marry, but yet by the social mores of her era, it was considered shaming to marry so young.
Keh. Her time is so strange. You can start... being with guys like a wife would when you're thirteen, but if you get married before you're at least in your twenties, you've shamed your family. But it's not shameful to sleep with many males, only to marry one of them... it's a good thing we're not in her time anymore, he thought darkly. And that she hasn't been 'enjoying' any guys company. I'd have had to kill them.
Hesitating, yet determined to find out her thoughts on this particular matter, he spoke up, his fingers nervously tapping against her arm. “I... I wanted to ask you what you want to do now, K'gome. You know, now that the well has closed,” he added as he felt her stiffen a little.
“Oh,” she said softly, “I... hadn't really thought about it. After all, none of us can really make plans until Naraku's dead and the jewel's gone, ne? Things can pretty much stay the same until then.”
“Keh. Maybe... but you still need to think about it. I mean, you will have to have a way to survive here, now. The village elders will start questioning things once it all kicks in – you know, once our mission is over, and you're still here, they'll start to wonder what place you're going to have in the village.”
She nodded reluctantly against his shoulder. “Hai... I know. They'll probably want me to start training with Kaede-baachan... but I don't want to be Kikyou,” she sighed sadly, stiffening even more when she realized what she'd said. “I-I mean, I just don't want to be a s-shrine maiden,” she spit out, obviously not wanting to upset him.
“It's okay, Kagome, I understand what you mean,” he said after a moment, pulling away a little to reach up with a finger and turn her face to his. “You don't have to do what you don't want to do, you know. I'll always take care of you, no matter what.” Inside, he was glad as hell he'd been right, and she didn't want to be the village miko.
Her eyes met his, and immediately, a pulse of desire went through her – he was so beautiful to her, with his shining golden eyes staring into her own so intently. Without realizing it, her eyes drifted down to his lips, so close to her own, and she blushed, her gaze going heavy-lidded and her scent spiking, though she wasn't aware of that last part.
Inuyasha certainly was, though, and he wasn't about to fight it, or what that scent was doing to him. After all, this was Kagome – the woman he was choosing to stay with, forsaking his past for his future.
Of course, despite his guilt towards Kikyou, it wasn't as though he was turning his back on her – he hadn't, after all, actually promised her he would go to hell with her. She'd tried to get him to promise such, but he'd been under a spell at the time, and didn't consider any words he'd spoken then as ones he needed to honor.
No... he'd sworn vengeance on her behalf against Naraku, and he would deliver on that promise, no question. But that had nothing to do with his desire to stay with Kagome, and that was something that he would do, no matter what. After all, Kagome was a part of his quest to destroy the spider hanyou, and her presence wasn't interfering in any vow he'd made to Kikyou, so in his mind, there was no conflict.
He wasn't stupid enough not to know that the undead miko would see it differently, but that was her problem. She was already dead, and would be returning to her rest once Naraku was gone – but Kagome was not dead, and he had no intentions of leaving her alone and vulnerable only to sit around in hell twiddling his thumbs.
Taking the cue from her scent and actions, he lowered his mouth to hers, just barely touching her lips to make sure this was really what she wanted – and from her response, it really was.
With a moan, she parted her lips in invitation, hoping and praying he would take her offer, and her pulse leapt in excitement as he did, indeed, take her up on it, slanting his lips over hers and deepening the kiss as his tongue invaded her mouth quite happily.
I wonder how far she's willing to let me go, the hazy thought crossed his mind as his tongue twined with hers and he moaned at her taste. Kami, she tastes so good... but I knew she would. His hand slipped around to thread through her raven locks and hold her to him as he turned his head again to take the kiss even deeper, running his tongue over every available place in her mouth, and then lick across her palette, which made her moan.
He let her go when she pulled back to catch her breath, her heavy panting exciting him further as he nibbled and licked his way down her throat, settling in to suck at her pulse point as her head dropped back, the submissive aspects of the position not lost on him. His youkai blood roared to the surface at that, and his eyes flashed red for a split second.
Lifting her up, he rose gracefully and strode over to the furs, kicking them around into a nice pile that he placed her gently on, his lips and tongue wreaking continuous havoc on her senses and keeping her in a sensuous haze that was in danger of shutting down all senses not currently engaged by the hanyou in her arms.
Following her down, he pressed himself to her, letting her feel him and his aroused state as he nudged aside her shirt to nibble gently on her sensitive collarbone. “Is this okay?” he murmured questioningly as his hands gently caressed her sides, his claws adding something to the caress that had her shivering in ecstatic reaction.
“Y-yes,” she stuttered, obviously having a hard time speaking as she swallowed heavily. “I-Inuyasha... mmm... w-why are you doing this?” she managed to get out around gasps and moans of pleasure.
At that question, he moved away from her fragrant skin and met her gaze with his own heavy one. “Because I want to, Kagome. Are you going to tell me to stop?” he asked, suddenly apprehensive. Would she truly accept him, as a lover...? It was one thing to accept him as a friend – and another to accept him as an equal – as a lover.
His secret fear that she wouldn't accept him in this manner was gone with her next words.
“No,” she gasped as his hand swept across one breast, instantly exciting the tip into hardening. “I've always been willing to give you anything you wanted from me, Inuyasha. You just never showed any interest.”
“Keh. Wrong. Why'd you think I always chased other males away? Just friends don't get jealous, K'gome,” he muttered as he hesitantly brought both hands up to rest on the hem of her shirt. “Can I?” he asked, tugging on the garment to let her know what he wanted.
“Mhmm,” she breathed, unable to think of any reason why she shouldn't do this. After all, her life was now in this world, and the idea of disappointing her family was a moot one, since she'd never be able to go back to her time, anyway. For all intents and purposes, she was now an adult and could do what she wanted.
And what she wanted to do, was Inuyasha. No pun intended, she giggled to herself almost drunkenly as he began to pull her shirt over her head. Nope, not at all. Wiggling a bit to assist him in removing the garment, she reached behind herself to snap her bra open, knowing that would be next, and blushed deeply as his eyes plastered to her chest the moment the shirt came away. She left the bra in place for the moment, knowing he could slide it off easily when he was ready to.
Eyes alight with wonder, he ran a clawed finger along the lace edge. “What's this called?” he asked softly.
“It's a bra,” she replied, a blush staining her cheeks. “It kinda keeps things from jiggling and bouncing around.”
“Oh, like the breast bindings my mother used to wear,” he nodded. “Only these are prettier,” he mused, running his finger over the lace as her nipple budded tightly against the fabric in response.
'Y-yeah,” she managed to get out around the sensations running through her body and short-circuiting her mind. “Like that.”
Unable to resist, Inuyasha lowered his head and nipped at that tempting little peak, and she responded with such a delicious gasp and arch into the caress that he immediately tugged the bit of fabric away from her, his eyes glazing as her naked breasts came into view.
Sure, he'd seen them before, most notably in Togenkyo when he'd interrupted her sake bath and she'd stood up to greet him completely nude, but now? Now was completely different – because they were bare and welcoming his touch, for the first – but most definitely not the last, if he had anything to say about it – time.
His eyes smoldered hotly as they took her in, and then he lowered his head and took a coral nipple between his teeth, startling a squeak from her. He decided that it was a cute sound, and he'd like to hear it again as his hand came up and massaged the other breast as he began suckling the furled nipple in his mouth.
… so good... His eyes flicked up as she whined at him, his surprise at the sound causing him to let go of the nipple in his mouth to ask, “Are you okay?” with apprehension. This was all new to him, after all, and he wasn't sure that sound was a good one – pups whined when hurt or ill, or when being disciplined – so that sound usually meant something bad.
It seemed, however, that this was a begging whine, she was begging him for more, and once he caught the desperate look in her eyes, he grinned and moved on, kissing and nipping all along her abdomen and sides as she writhed and moaned and begged. It was all music to his ears, the sounds she made, but after a time, her scent became more than he could withstand, and he knew that the moment of truth was at hand – would she allow him to take this final step?
Softly, hesitantly, he put his question into one word. “Kagome?” he asked, tucking his fingers into the waistband of her pants and tugging, just like he had with her shirt.
The little priestess blinked, dazed as she tried to gather enough sense to answer him, and finally, understanding what he was asking, she blushed deeply, but nodded, a shy smile lighting her face. “I told you I'd give you anything you needed from me, Inuyasha. If you're sure you want me, then I won't say no to you.”
Something warm surged inside Inuyasha at her words; no one had ever accepted him in the way she was doing... it was clear in that moment that she had been perfectly honest in her words when she'd said she liked him the way he was, and that she didn't want him to change.
She'd meant it.
Warmly, though with a touch of shyness of his own at what was about to happen, he slid her pants and undergarments down together, leaving her completely bare before him – bare, and desirous of him, and with a shiver, he sat up and began to disrobe.
He could feel his eager length quiver at the thought of what he'd be doing soon – something he'd never thought he'd ever be allowed, and he flushed as he bared himself to his soon-to-be lover, suddenly uncertain. Would his body disgust her?
Sure, he knew he was pretty comparable to other guys, though larger, but... he was still a hanyou, and there had to be something disgusting about him for everyone to insist that hanyou were disgusting. He'd never been able to figure out what was so gross about himself, except maybe his ears...
But Kagome wasn't looking disgusted, not to mention the fact that she loved his ears. No... in fact, she looked like she was seeing something beautiful, and he hesitated, not sure what was causing that expression.
“Umm...” he started, and sparkling blue eyes in a blushing face met his gaze. “Is something... wrong?” he asked slowly, fighting the urge to hide his body.
Wide-eyed at the sight of such a gorgeous guy presenting himself naked before her, Kagome took a moment to understand his question, and she frowned at him, not sure what he was afraid of. “No... why would there be?” She reached out and tugged him to her, and he went willingly, allowing her to pull him down atop her as she laid back.
“You, well you j-just,” he started to stutter, and for once, she seemed to know just what he was trying to say.
“Inuyasha,” she replied, smiling at him shyly, “I was just curious. I've... never seen, well, you know,” she made a vague gesture, and he breathed easier as he took in what she was trying to say.
“I've never, either,” he answered back. “The only girl I've ever seen besides my mother is you.”
“Really?”
“Keh! Who else would want a hanyou?”
“But... I thought...”
Inuyasha rolled his eyes as he inwardly reveled in the feel of her body pressed so intimately against his own, knowing she was, for the moment, oblivious to their current circumstances. “Come on, wench! She wanted me to turn human. The only thing Kikyou ever did with me was to give me a kiss. She wouldn't even sit that close to me, let alone anything else.”
Kagome opened her mouth to answer him when she finally realized exactly what position they were in, pressed naked together from knees to chest, and her jaw sagged as her eyes widened.
“O-oh!” she choked out, suddenly feeling every square centimeter of skin that was being scorched by the touch of his own against her. And then Inuyasha was kissing her again, and it was slow, and hot, and indolent, leaving her with no coherency at all – and best of all... she didn't care.
New at this and completely untried, it wasn't long before both of them were impatient, wanting a completion neither had ever experienced, and slowly, awkwardly, Inuyasha pressed himself to her entrance, his eyes begging for her final permission. No hesitation in her gaze, she gave it, and just like that, he was pressing into her, pressing himself into her, joining their bodies and souls together as he sank into a place he'd never truly ever thought he'd be allowed.
He'd had dreams of this, dreams of touching this woman, tasting her, of being so deeply inside her that no one would ever be able to truly separate them again since shortly after he'd been awakened by her – but he'd never thought it would actually happen. This was a rapture he'd not thought possible, not for him, and yet, now, it was possible for him, and he couldn't be more grateful to the kami that had blessed him with this beautiful young woman writhing beneath him and begging him for something she had no experience with, yet wanted with all of her soul.
Completion... completion that only he could give her.
Pressing forward carefully, not wanting to hurt her though he knew this first time would, he hissed and his eyes fell closed in agony – it felt better than anything he'd ever known, and going slowly was killing him. He wanted to thrust himself inside her over and over, take her, fuck her, make her his, but he couldn't – he refused to hurt her any more than the act already would. And so he moved slowly, sinking himself into her an inch at a time, the pleasure so great he actually put his fang through his lip trying to keep his sanity.
Kagome's breath hitched at the burning sensation as he sank inside her, but truthfully, it didn't hurt nearly as much as she'd expected – it was more of a burning pinch, and within moments, despite how slowly it seemed he was moving, he'd bottomed out within her. Muscles clenching tightly around the welcomed intrusion, she inhaled sharply as it hit her suddenly – he was inside her.
This was something she could never give another, her virginity, and she couldn't help the tears of happiness that welled up within her at that moment – she'd wanted him for years, and to finally be sharing herself with him in this most intimate of manners was a dream come true. With that thought, she reached down and grasped his perfect cheeks, pressing him more fully into her as she opened her thighs further to encourage him to take every inch of her he could.
Inuyasha gasped as she opened her legs wider and grabbed his rear, allowing him to sink more deeply inside her heated sheath, and shuddered, his ears pressing tightly to his head as he inhaled. Desperate to keep control, he gritted his teeth, not even noticing the blood that spattered onto her chest from his perforated lip.
Kagome did notice, however, and with a sympathetic look, she reached up with one finger and wiped the blood away. “Inuyasha,” she whispered, “you can move now, you know. It doesn't really hurt, it just stings a little.”
“Are you s-sure?” he managed to get out around his clenched teeth, and when she nodded, he pulled back, his eyes falling closed as his whole body clenched at the feel as he pushed back inside her. “Ohhh... oh, gods,” he gritted, his head dropping to press against her shoulder as he pulled away again, only to return with a little more force.
In just about the same state he was, Kagome's eyes closed as she concentrated on the sensations of Inuyasha's body moving against hers. While there was still some sting, it wasn't much, and beneath that, and growing stronger, was a definite sense of almost overwhelming pleasure. It felt good, and was beginning to feel wonderful, the feel of his penis abrading her inner flesh. She'd had no idea just how good this would be...
Honestly, though, she wasn't surprised when he growled above her and suddenly pounded into her, raggedly howling her name as his hips locked against hers and he shuddered within her. She could feel his heated semen filling her, and she'd never felt more complete than she did in that moment, even though he'd finished and she'd not reached completion. It didn't matter.
He slumped against her, panting and almost sobbing as he nuzzled her shoulder, murmuring her name and painting her skin with tiny desperate kisses. “K'gome... Kagome.”
“Shhh, Inuyasha,” she whispered, “it's okay.” Caressing his back gently, she concentrated on soothing him, and within a few minutes, he'd calmed, and pulled away a little to look at her.
She looked so beautiful in that moment to him, the little bit of firelight dusting her fair features with a faint glow, and he couldn't resist, he leaned down to kiss her again, and then pulsed his hips against hers. He shivered at the feel of her tightness around him, still gripping him so sweetly. He was well aware that she hadn't received her pleasure, since he'd finished so quickly, but that was one perk of being hanyou – he wasn't really finished, as she'd just now realized, seeing as how he was still hard within her.
He grinned down at the stunned girl – she was in for a long night. Once was definitely not enough, and even if they fell asleep for a few hours, he'd definitely wake up wanting her again.
Retracting his hips, he soon had established a very pleasurable rhythm, and a pleasure-drunk Kagome was writhing and moaning beneath him, eyes glazed and face flushed a pretty pink. “I-Inuyasha,” she gasped out, “what... how...?”
“I'm a hanyou, Kagome,” he growled, enjoying the way she looked beneath him. He'd never seen anything more erotic – not even the time he'd caught Kikyou bathing. Kikyou was one thing – yes, she was an attractive woman, but Kagome... Kagome was Kagome, and in his eyes nothing else needed said. Just her name said it all. “I'm not some weak human that can't go more than once.”
Mine, he thought, pleasure completely separate from mating roaring through him at that, my Kagome... my wife. Always mine. I will never let you go, Kagome. I will protect you forever.
The build up took longer this time, and because of that, Kagome was right there with him, clutching to his shoulders and begging for something she had never experienced before but that was now rushing up on her and overwhelming her senses. Watching her face carefully even through his own ecstasy, Inuyasha couldn't help the savage thrill that made his eyes flash crimson that it was he, the half breed disgrace, that was giving this woman such pleasure as he pushed himself inside her so deeply that he was almost inside her womb.
That was all it took, the pleasure-pain of that deepest of penetrations sending Kagome wailing over the edge, her body arched into his as she welcomed his seed once more, every muscle in both their frames taut with their efforts for several long seconds...
And then they both slumped, suddenly exhausted as their second bout with Eros stole away all their energy.
Holding himself up above her by his shaking arms, Inuyasha finally managed to slip from inside her with a barely audible growl, and then slumped to the side, pulling her in close as his eyes slid closed and his breathing began to even out.
Just as sleep claimed him, he realized that he needed to see Kikyou one last time, to tell her who he'd chosen, what he'd chosen. It was only right, after all.
“Need... Kikyou...” he muttered sleepily as he fell into welcoming unconsciousness, not even realizing he'd said it aloud... and certainly not noticing the shocked stiffening of the woman he'd just claimed physically... and in his thoughts.
It would have been much better for the both of them if he'd actually bothered to claim her aloud, and explain his feelings to her, but he hadn't...
~oOo~
Shivering with cold and anguished shock, Kagome waited until she was sure he was completely asleep, then wriggled her way out of his arms and quickly found her clothes by the fading firelight.
Dressing rapidly, needing to get away before she broke, Kagome didn't even pay all that much attention to how she dressed, just wanting to be covered. The moment she was clothed, she slipped her shoes on and then, with one last pained look at the peacefully sleeping hanyou, she turned and slipped out of the cave, wanting to get as far away as she could. She needed to think.
I can't believe I let him do that... and he was thinking of Kikyou, she sobbed inwardly, not paying any attention to her surroundings in her state of mind. I should have known...
She knew that he cared about her. That wasn't in question. And she knew he'd meant his vow to stay and protect her... the problem was, it seemed as though he was staying simply because she was too helpless to take care of herself, and not because he wanted to. He cares about me, but he still loves... her.
She could never accept that. I want him to be happy, and I want him to live, but of he's only going to live so he can protect me, and not because he wants to, then I can't let him do it. The thought of losing him - no, I'm not losing him, since I never really had him - had her sobbing her heart out as she began to jog, not noticing the branches that tore at her skin, nor the thin lines of blood they drew.
Finally coming to the banks of a small stream after a few minutes of running, she fell to her knees, staring into the darkened water with pained and horrified eyes. All she could think was...
“If he loves Kikyou, and he wants to be with her, why did he do that with me?” she whimpered, so confused she couldn't think straight.
“Because I'm dead, and he can't do that with me,” came a thin voice, and shocked, Kagome whirled around to stare with dismay at the figure moving out of the dusken gloom under the trees to stand accusingly behind her.
“K-Kikyou!” she gasped, hand going to her heart as she took in the woman's words. “What do you m-mean?”
Jealous, hurt that the hanyou she'd loved had chosen another, she stared bitterly at the woman before her who'd gotten to experience the one thing she'd been denied in her life – love, both physical and emotional.
“Just what I said. He knows that he cannot be with me in that manner because I am dead... and you are my reincarnation. It is the closest he can come to loving me, now. That is the only reason, I assure you,” she snapped.
Horrified, Kagome sank back on her heels, not even seeing Kikyou any longer as she stared at the ground beneath her. “He... he wouldn't do something like that,” she faltered, “he's got more honor than that!”
The undead miko made a gesture of impatience, her unbeating heart still writhing in agony as the memory of what she'd seen between the two in that cave continued to play out behind her unwilling eyelids. “Not consciously, he would not, you stupid girl. But the truth is, his heart will always belong to me. He will never see you as anything more than the carrier of my soul – we are soul mates, he and I, and you know it. You would be better off leaving now, before you get hurt any further. Copy or not, I don't want to see you suffer – and you will if you stay,” she bit out.
“B-but... I can't go home anymore,” the broken-hearted girl cried out. “What can I do?”
“Find another place for yourself, then. It is not as if this village is the only one in the land,” Kikyou huffed. “But if you value yourself at all, you will leave.” With that said, the undead miko turned and disappeared under the darkness of the trees, her shinidamachu lighting the way. Kagome watched numbly until the glow of the miko's companion youkai disappeared as well, leaving her alone with her thoughts.
She's... she's right, she thought disjointedly, tears pouring down her cheeks as she wept silently. I can't stay here and be his burden. Kikyou can help him find the rest of the jewel and Naraku... and I... I will find somewhere else to go. But I'll have to move fast, before he wakes up and comes looking for me.
Heaving herself up from the forest floor, Kagome let her senses lock onto the distant signature of Kaede, and began to run, headed for the miko's hut, and the only things she still owned in this world... the few things that were in her trusty yellow bag the last time she'd come through the well.
She could only be glad that she'd packed quite a few clothes, and her cooking knife, and that she had her sleeping bag and her little pillow – she'd have need of those things more than she'd ever have thought she would.
Reaching the village much quicker than she'd expected, she knew she'd have to move fast, because odds were Inuyasha wouldn't sleep for long – and she knew she couldn't bear to face him again. She didn't know if she'd ever be able to at this point, the pain inside was so great.
But even through it all, she didn't blame him... because she knew that she was right – he wouldn't have taken her like that if he'd realized it was because she was all he had left of Kikyou. He had too much honor to use her that way. It was all subconscious, and she couldn't blame him for where his heart lay.
It was just the way it was.
That didn't mean, though, that she could stick around and allow him to use her in that way, conscious or not, and that's why she had to get out now, while she still could.
With that thought in mind, she entered Kaede's hut quietly but with purpose, and trying not to wake those asleep in the hut, namely Shippo and Kirara, she gathered her things and began packing it all into her bag. Looking over towards Kaede's storage area, she took note of some dried travel rations, probably that she'd made up for them for when they left on another shard hunt, and she packed it all as well with a silent apology to the missing miko.
I wonder where they all ar- her thoughts cut off with panic as the sound of the matting being pulled back hit her ears and she spun around, wide-eyed, only to slump gratefully when Sango was revealed.
Gods, that scared me...
“Sango,” she whispered harshly, her heart pounding. “I thought you were...” she broke off before saying any more, but something in her words, or actions, tipped the taijiya off, because she narrowed her eyes on her best friend.
“What are you doing, Kagome? Did you have another fight with Inuyasha?” she asked suspiciously.
Kagome slumped at that question, and more tears burst from her; unable to hold it all in anymore and dropping her bag, she flung herself at the stunned taijiya, and the whole sorry story came out.
~oOo~
Pissed beyond measure at their hanyou companion, and even more so at Kikyou once the story had been told, Sango hugged the anguished young woman to her and shook her head, trying to think of what to do to help her.
“Kagome, I can understand why you don't want to stay here, but to just leave, all alone and not even have a plan on where to go? I don't think that's wise,” she said hesitantly.
Both women were startled at the little voice that spoke up then, not having realized that both Shippo and Kirara had woken during her tale. “She's not going to go alone!” Shippo growled out, glaring up at Kagome with his little fists clenched. “I won't let you, Kagome! I'll follow behind you if you try to leave me just because Inuyasha's a baka!”
Stunned at such a fierce declaration from her little companion, Kagome could only stare at him; suddenly so weary and worn out inside that she couldn't even think of denying him, she nodded slowly. “I won't leave you behind, Shippo, if you're sure you want to come with me,” she said tiredly. Shaking her head at the little kitsune who hopped into her lap and hugged her immediately she'd said that, she looked up at Sango. “I'll get word to you once I've settled somewhere, but please... don't tell Inuyasha? I just... can't be his burden, you know? I want him to be free to choose what he wants to do with his life, not stuck taking care of me like I'm a newborn.”
Reluctantly, Sango nodded as she watched Kagome set the kit down and continue to stuff her things into her bag. Brow furrowed, she said, “Kagome... you know, you might want to take some of those miko robes Kaede's given you.” She held up her hand at Kagome's sour expression. “If you're going to be moving to another village, you'll need something to offer them for them to take you in, and as a traveling miko, you'll be welcome pretty much anywhere you choose to go. It would also give you protection from bandits – most won't bother a miko, as they're too afraid to offend the kami.”
Not liking the idea, but knowing her friend was right, she agreed, even going so far as to change right then and there. Afraid that her time was running out, she finished stowing everything she owned in her bag, and grabbing her weapon, she swung it and her quiver over one shoulder, and her bag over the other, and stood, knowing she had to go now.
“Kagome... let Kirara take you to my old village. It'll give you a good headstart against Inuyasha, and he won't know which way you've gone if she flies you. Then you can travel in any direction from there, okay? Plus, you could take a day or so and just rest in the village – I think you need it,” she finished earnestly, Kirara mewing encouragingly behind her.
The little priestess thought about it for a moment, and then nodded as Shippo added his agreement to that plan, and with a hug and honest thanks, they all stepped outside, where Kirara instantly shrugged into her true form in a burst of flame, then crouched slightly for her passengers to hop on. Giving Sango one last hug and thank you, Kagome mounted the firecat, and waiting for Shippo to also hug the slayer goodbye, she pulled the tiny kit to her as he curled up against her stomach, and Kirara took to the air, immediately heading for her old home.
Sango watched sadly as the trio disappeared into the distance, angry, sad, and fearful for her friends safety.
Why did this have to happen?
The suddenly lonely taijiya walked slowly back into the hut to wait for the rest of the group – and the hanyou she knew would soon be appearing, irate and raging that Kagome wasn't where he could find her.
What a tangled mess...
~oOo~
Inuyasha woke slowly, for a few moments not remembering the events of earlier in the night, and stretched. That's when he realized he was naked – and then he remembered what had happened earlier.
A huge grin hit his face, but then faded into confusion as he realized that Kagome wasn't in the cave any longer, and that her clothes were gone, as well. By the weakness of her scent, he was abruptly aware that she had been gone for some time, and worry and fear kicked in as he leaped to his feet and began to yank on his clothes.
Keh! Why did she take off? What the hell was she thinking running off after dark like this? He couldn't help but worry that she was gone – what did it mean? Whatever she's thinkin', it's too bad – she's mine now, my wife, and I ain't lettin' her go!
Dressed, he kicked sand over the remains of the fire, and taking one last desperate inhale of her scent, and the mixed scents of what they'd done earlier in the evening to calm himself down, he took off out of the cave like a bat out of hell, following her scent through the forest. He was quite upset to catch little hints of her blood, and he realized it was coming from small branches and bushes along the way, places where she'd gotten scratched as she'd blundered through the area.
It only took him moments to reach the stream she'd stopped at, but his gut tightened at the other scent he caught. Kikyou... what the hell was she doin' here? Fear crept up his spine as he pondered what his first crush could possibly have had to say to his new wife... and he didn't like the possibilities. Tracking Kagome's scent carefully, he followed it into the forest again, and realized in short order that it was heading back to the village, while Kikyou was still close by.
Putting on a burst of speed, he headed for the village. Kikyou could wait, as far as he was concerned – his priority was Kagome, and until he knew what was going on, and that she was safe, everything else was on the back burner, as he'd heard Kagome say before.
Sure enough, Kagome's scent went straight towards Kaede's hut, and in a flash, he was there and pushing the matting aside to fling himself into the small house...
Only to find Sango sitting there... and no one else.
“Oi, Sango, where's Kagome?” he asked, his eyes darting around and taking in the absence of any of his priestess' belongings. That little fact sent a sinking feeling through his gut.
“She's gone, Inuyasha.”
Gone?
That couldn't possibly be what the taijiya had just said, especially in such a calm voice. He shook his head at her uncomprehendingly. “Keh?” he asked weakly.
“I said she's gone. Kagome has gone off on her own, and taken Shippo with her. She has no intentions of coming back,” Sango reiterated, her voice beginning to crack.
Stunned, Inuyasha could do nothing but stare in horror at the taijiya. It felt like he was living in a nightmare... “B-but... why?” he asked, anguished.
Sango couldn't miss the hurt in his voice and suddenly wondered if perhaps Kagome hadn't mistaken some things – or if Kikyou hadn't deliberately misled her. One way to tell... “Why don't you ask Kikyou?” she said, eyeing him narrowly. “I'm sure she could tell you quite easily why Kagome's gone – if she bothers to tell you the truth.”
Eyes flashing crimson for a moment, Inuyasha growled ferally, suddenly adamant about finding out what was going on. “You'd better tell me, Sango, don't play games with me. What the fuck is going on?”
With an upset frown, Sango caved and told Inuyasha everything Kagome had told her.
“... apparently, even after... sharing yourself with Kagome, Kikyou's name was the only thing on your mind, you baka. You have no idea how much that hurt Kagome, knowing that you were thinking of another woman while you were with her!”
Confused, Inuyasha scowled for a moment as he tried to remember... and then his last thoughts came to mind, and he lowered his head to his hands with a ragged sigh.
“It's not like that, Sango,” he said after a moment. “I was thinking as I fell asleep that I needed to see Kikyou one last time – she deserved to be told what I'd decided face to face. That's all.”
Flushing uncomfortably, Sango said, “Oh. Well... anyway, after you fell asleep, Kagome left the cave. She wanted to find somewhere to think, but when she got to that stream, Kikyou showed up... and, well... she told Kagome some things that just played to her insecurities. She basically told Kagome that subconsciously, you were only choosing to be with her because she was Kikyou's reincarnation, and because she herself was dead, and you could no longer have her. She told Kagome that you and she were soul mates...” she trailed off.
“I don't believe in soul mates,” Inuyasha said immediately, and wide-eyed with confusion at such a statement, Sango stared at her hanyou friend.
“What do you mean?”
“Look,” he said almost impatiently, casting her an irritated look, “saying that we're 'soul mates',” he parodied sarcastically, “is like saying that it doesn't matter whether it's Kikyou or Kagome, or even anyone else who's had that same soul. That's crap. I don't care about some generic soul that could be placed inside anyone – I care about Kagome. The person is completely separate from the soul – it's just a thing that gets passed around like a popular geisha. Kikyou isn't Kagome, and neither is anyone else who could possibly have had that soul. I mean, are you saying that you don't care who has Miroku's soul, that you'd care about them in the same way anyway?”
Stunned, suddenly knowing that Kagome had made a huge mistake, that they all had, in fact, for so long thinking Inuyasha saw Kagome only as a newer version of Kikyou, Sango shook her head. “I... I never thought of it like that,” she whispered.
He snorted, angry, though not really at her. “I know – you guys always assumed I cared for Kagome because she had 'Kikyou's soul'. You all should have known better – hell, by your logic, her having Kikyou's soul would only have made me hate her, at least when I still thought Kikyou'd betrayed me. And it ain't even fair to call it Kikyou's soul anyway – who had it before Kikyou? Should we find out and call it her soul? Give me more credit than that – I ain't that dumb!”
Suddenly feeling a lot more respect for the hanyou, the rest of Sango's anger towards him drained away, and she shook her head. “Well, Kikyou managed to convince Kagome otherwise,” she said after a moment, “and she was the one who put it into Kagome's head to leave and not return.”
Almost snarling in rage at the idea of never seeing Kagome again, Inuyasha stood up as Sango stopped speaking and took off out the door without another word, and the taijiya, suddenly very tired, didn't even attempt to stop him or follow – she knew quite well where he was going, and didn't want to interfere.
At least we can go to my old village tomorrow and catch Kagome before she disappears – she really needs to talk to Inuyasha. All this time, she was worrying for nothing, and Kikyou was lying through her clay teeth. Poor Kagome...
She wouldn't want to be that fake doll when Inuyasha caught up with her.
~oOo~
Kikyou turned slowly to meet the raging aura of the hanyou as he landed behind her, flashes of the way he'd looked making love to Kagome passing across her mind and causing hurt and bitterness to surge within her. That should have been me he was with...
She didn't say anything, merely watched him, waiting for him to speak.
“I ain't even gonna ask why you did what you did – I ain't so stupid I can't figure it out on my own. I'm only here for one thing,” he said dangerously, eyes narrow and crimson as he stared at her, “and that's to warn you – don't come anywhere near either Kagome or I again. I owe you nothing but vengeance against Naraku, and once that bastard's dead, the only tie between us is gone.”
“Gone?” Kikyou laughed bitterly. “The ties that bind us will never be broken, Inuyasha – if it weren't for me, you wouldn't be so drawn to that girl. As long as she is around, the ties between us will never be gone.”
He snarled at her. “That's bullshit, Kikyou, and you know it. If that was the case, you wouldn't be so mad that I'm with her, because if you two were one and the same, it wouldn't matter which one I was with. You are not Kagome. You could never be Kagome. There's only one of her, and she's mine. Leave, Kikyou,” he said as he turned to head back to the village. “Find your peace – but it won't be at my expense – or at my side.”
“How could you betray me this way, Inuyasha,” she cried out, her shinidamachu circling her in agitated passes as she let her overwhelmed emotions out of the tight grasp she usually held them in. “We were supposed to be together!”
He swung back around with a growl and tore into her. “That was over fifty years ago,” he yelled, “and you're dead! The living and the dead have no common ground, Kikyou, and you know it! And for all that you keep trying to convince me it's my fault you died, we both know it ain't!” He shook his head, suddenly sad as he looked at her standing there looking so tragic. “It's kinda telling that when I thought you'd betrayed me, I went after the jewel. But you... you went after me. You wanted me to suffer, and I just wanted to get away from the one I thought had stabbed me in the back. What does that really say about who's truly the dark, tainted being around here? Why should I give my life to someone who wants revenge for something I didn't even do – and she knows it? When did it become right to make the innocent pay for the crimes of the guilty?”
She stared at him, stunned to hear the way he was speaking – he usually wasn't so eloquent. He seemed to pick up on her astonishment.
It was his turn to laugh bitterly.
“Keh. The ignorant half-breed actually knows how to talk, and you can't believe it. I'm a tainted, stupid waste of flesh, so how the hell can I speak like this, ne? Funny thing about that, Kikyou,” he said sarcastically, “my mother was a hime of Setsuna – I might not normally use formal speech and big words, but I do know how to speak this way. And much as you all might like to think I'm stupid, I'm not. If I was, I'd have died as soon as my mother did – since I had all these upright, innocent and pure ningens trying to kill me, not to mention all the youkai trying the same. Feh,” he finished disgustedly, “you're just like everyone else, Kikyou. You saw what you expected to see. A disgusting, unholy, violent, deadly and stupid half-breed.”
“Then why did I travel with you? Why did I spend time with you? If you really believe that now, why didn't you before?” she asked heatedly.
“Because I was a fool. I hadn't been around ningens in a hundred and thirty years or so – the closest I ever got was when they were trying to kill me. What did I know of how they act, of how they think when they weren't trying to kill me? You acted different, and that's all I knew. And I fell for that, without understanding anything further. Sure, you traveled with me. And yeah, you spent time with me. Funny thing, though... for all that, you instantly believed that it was me that attacked you that day.” He scowled at her, remembering the confusion and hurt of that long ago day. “Even as I fell into your spell, though, when you pinned me to the tree, I was still trying to talk to you, to figure out what had happened. You never did question any of it.”
He was surprised at the guilty look that fluttered across the miko's face at that.
"I was wrong... back then. I know it. But what changed, Inuyasha?” she asked desperately, holding out a hand to him. “Why now do you forsake me? I thought... I thought you loved me,” she finished, almost whispering.
It was silent in the clearing for a moment as Inuyasha stared at her, sadness taking him over at the look on her face. He didn't want to see her suffer... but the truth was the truth.
“I thought so, too. Back then. But I'd think it's fairly obvious that neither of us really knew what that meant.” He shook his head, frustrated as he turned to stare out at the trees. “Love... isn't manipulative, Kikyou. And it isn't filled with mistrust. We loved the idea of not being lonely, not each other. Come on, Kikyou – we both know I'm not your type. I'm half-youkai, remember? You've been trained to destroy youkai. Ningens are your type, and I'm not one. That's why you wanted to change me – you wanted to change me into your type. But then I wouldn't have been me – and our relationship wouldn't have been real.”
Kikyou just stared at him, dark eyes wide and blank as she stood there, suddenly colder than she'd been since waking into her second life... or half-life. Because his words echoed truths she'd really known, deep down. And an even more telling truth... as soon as she'd realized that Inuyasha wasn't responsible for that betrayal back then, she'd known it wasn't fair to expect him to give up his life to go to hell with her...
She just hadn't wanted to go alone. The truth was, she was willing to let him die, just so she'd have company in hell.
How holy was that?
So much for purity.
“So... you're telling me that you didn't love me back then, because you didn't know what love was,” she stated emptily, “but that you do know what love is now. You wish me to believe that you love Kagome?”
Suddenly fidgeting, Inuyasha blushed uncomfortably. It was a bit difficult to hear something like that said aloud, even if it was true. After all, he'd never even admitted that anywhere but in the sanctity of his own mind...
It felt wrong to be saying such a thing to someone else, though, when really, the first person to hear those words should be the person he felt them for. But...
Finally facing the waiting priestess, he nodded shortly. “Keh. Kagome's taught me what that word really means. Hell... she's taught me more in the year I've known her, than anyone else has ever taught me. And with as many years as I've been around, that's sayin' a hell of a lot,” he sighed. Meeting her eyes, he softened a little. “I don't hate you, Kikyou, though I'm furious with what you said to Kagome. I honestly wish you to find peace, in any way that you want to. But that peace is something you'll have to find on your own... I can't give it to you, and neither can anyone else.”
Suddenly realizing just how truly alone she was as Inuyasha decried any hold she'd thought she had on him, Kikyou could do little more than nod at him, and turn to leave – all she had left in the world was her pride, after all, and she wouldn't let anyone see her heartbreak.
While she was aware that he was right, and it wasn't truly love between them, it was the only love she'd ever known in her short life, and it hurt to lose it. It hurt to be the one cast aside... the one that wasn't loved.
But she would leave with her dignity intact, if nothing else, and so, without anything else left to say, she walked coolly from the clearing, her only remaining companions her glowing shinidamachu.
Even they would one day abandon her, she knew; when she returned to hell, she would be completely alone.
Inuyasha watched her leave with pain and remorse – he felt badly about the past, and the hurts she'd suffered. But responsibility for all of that lay at Naraku's feet, and he wasn't willing to shoulder the blame for it any longer. It was time for this twisted triangle to end...
He wouldn't allow it to hurt Kagome any longer. No... she was his wife now, as far as he was concerned, and his duty was to her. He was very happy about that, too.
With one last glance at the fading glow of Kikyou's servants, he turned and headed back to the village, determined to get Sango to tell him where Kagome had headed...
It was time to bring her back... back where she belonged.
With him.
~oOo~
A/N: Welcome to my new Inu/Kags two shot. It's nothing deep and meaningful, just a short story I've had the plot to for over two years and never bothered typing until now. I was bored and wanted to do something Inuyasha-centric, so I decided to pull this one out of my file and type it up.
Amber
Converting /tmp/phpA9na7H to /dev/stdout
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Inuyasha.
~sSs~
“Kagome...”
Inuyasha came to a halt behind the girl whose name he'd just spoken, his eyes pinned to her sadly as she stared out over the village, seemingly so far-removed from everything around her.
“Hm?” she responded distractedly, not looking at him, her gaze fixed instead on the sunset.
“I'm... sorry, for what's happened,” he sighed, knowing that his words were only half true. Yes, he was sorry the well closing had hurt her so much, but he wasn't sorry she was locked here in his era, with him. Now she would never leave him...
But he wasn't stupid enough to ever say such a thing, and his remorse for her pain at her loss was real enough, so she wouldn't ever know the difference.
“I just wish I knew why it had closed,” she said after a moment, the sadness thick in her voice. “Why now? Why did it close at all? I mean... that's the time I'm from – I would have thought that if it was going to close, it would have closed with me on the other side of it, you know?”
“But you promised, Kagome,” he said, stepping forward to stand beside her, “and maybe that's why it did that. Or maybe, it's just more proof that you belong here. That being here was your destiny.”
Eyes still resolutely on the sky, Kagome's shoulders slumped. “But you don't really need me here after the Shikon no Tama is found and Naraku defeated, Inuyasha. After all, you're going to hell with Kikyou, ne? Isn't that what you said? Where's that going to leave me once you're gone? I won't have anyone to protect me from the dangers here anymore,” she finished slowly, that fact suddenly hitting her hard.
Inuyasha blinked, startled. He hadn't ever thought of that before, but it didn't matter anyway. He'd no intentions of going to hell with Kikyou and leaving Kagome alone and vulnerable – he hadn't planned such a thing in a long time, truthfully.
“Kagome...” he started, “I... I'm not going to be going to hell with Kikyou when this is all over. I couldn't leave you here alone to fend for yourself.” He shrugged. “Kikyou will just have to go back by herself – or drag Naraku with her, which I think she plans to do, anyway. She wants him to suffer for what he did.”
At that, Kagome turned her face to look up at him, almost desperately searching his eyes for the truth of his statement, needing that confirmation of his words.
She found it, and a few tears leaked from her eyes at that as she wrapped her arms around herself, afraid to do what she really wanted to do, which was throw herself at him.
“Inuyasha...” she breathed, gratitude, and oddly enough, to the young male listening, misery, in her voice. “I'm so glad you're going to live – but are you sure you won't regret not going with... her?” she asked, subdued again. “I never wanted you to choose to stay with me just because I'm helpless here, and can't take care of myself in this time and place.”
Inuyasha shook his head at her, then reached out and pulled her into his arms, pressing her head to his chest. “Baka! That's not it at all! I mean, I wouldn't go and leave you here alone – but that's not why I'm staying. I had chosen to stay a long time ago – before the well closed. I'm staying because I want to, okay?”
Kagome slumped a little, allowing days of tension and worry to dissolve in his arms as she just enjoyed the peaceful moment between them. Her eyes drooped as he stroked his fingers through her hair... it was so relaxing. After a few minutes, she sighed, then pulled away.
“But does Kikyou know about this, Inuyasha? Or haven't you told her yet? I really don't think you can make up your mind so firmly when you haven't talked to her, you know. You might change your mind again.” Meeting his gaze sadly, she smiled, trying to make everything seem okay. “I won't hold you to it, if you do change your mind. After all, Kikyou came first, and I know that.”
With a frustrated sound, Inuyasha shook his head at her, then turned and presented her his back. “C'mon, wench, get on. We need to talk, and I don't want the nosy monk or Shippo butting in or snooping. It ain't none of their business.”
A little surprised, Kagome eyed his back for a moment, then decided to humor him and climbed on, clasping her arms around his shoulders and burying her face in his silver mane as he leaped forward and took off into the trees, reaching full speed almost immediately.
She became quite curious as they traveled for only a few seconds, and she looked around as they came to a halt and the hanyou let her down slowly. He almost seemed to caress her skin as she slid off his back, and she blushed, surprised, but certain she was imagining things in her desperation to feel his touch.
They were in an area with a sheer rock wall pierced by several small openings, though only one was big enough for them to actually go inside, and Kagome shot him a look – she knew this particular cave. They'd sheltered from a sudden storm there one day.
“Why'd you bring us here, Inuyasha? It'll be too dark in there before long, and we don't even have any blankets or anything.”
Nervously, Inuyasha reached out for her hand and grasped it, tugging her along behind him as he led her inside. “Keh. I'm not stupid, K'gome. I've got a fire laid in here, all I've got to do is start it, and there's some sleeping furs and things... I've spent a few nights here when you've been in your time. It's not as empty as you remember it,” he finished as they came around the small bend and into the cave proper.
He had the fire going in short order, and Kagome looked around wide-eyed. It was apparent he had, indeed, stayed here before. But what she couldn't figure out was...
“Why?” she asked, and he shot a confused look at her as the fire flared a little. “I mean, why have you stayed here instead of in the village?” Was he staying here so he could spend time with Kikyou?
He shrugged. “Mostly to get away from that hentai and all his stupid comments,” he said off-handedly. “It gets annoying after a while, you know? Plus, I hate being in the village when you aren't there...”
“Oh,” she said, eyeing him uncertainly, and then decided to let it go. If he had come out here to stay with Kikyou, there wasn't anything she could do about it, anyway. She didn't dare let herself consider the last part of his sentence...
Silence fell as the two just warmed themselves before the fire for a time, but then...
“So... why'd you want to bring me out here, Inuyasha? What did you want to talk about?”
Her words ushered in an odd tension, and she frowned, suddenly concerned. “Inuyasha? Is... something wrong?”
He shot her a glance, then shook his head slowly, though he seemed uncertain. “Not wrong...” he scooted closer to her and put an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into himself, and he heaved an invisible sigh of relief when she contentedly leaned into him, resting her head against his shoulder. “I just wanted to spend a little time with you, you know, without the others. We don't really get a chance to, anymore. I... I'm glad we've got Sango and Miroku and even Shippo, not to mention Kirara, but... there's times I miss when it was just us.”
Kagome blinked, surprised to hear Inuyasha say such a thing – for a moment. He must be trying to be a little more open because he feels bad about the well, she thought with an inward smile. He tries to hide it, but he has a good heart...
His words were true, though, and as much as she loved their friends, sometimes she also missed the times when it had just been them.
“Me, too,” she agreed with a small sigh. “It was kinda nice just being together, you and I, by ourselves.”
He squeezed her shoulder and tucked her closer into his side; she blushed a little as she wondered again why he was being so openly affectionate. It wasn't like him...
What she didn't know was that the hanyou had been doing a lot of thinking since the well had closed. With no way for her to go home, she would have to make a life here. That meant one of two things, really, since she was now considered an orphan with no family – she could become the village miko and take over for Kaede when the older woman passed, or she could marry, and settle down once the task of destroying Naraku and the jewel was complete.
He was pretty sure Kagome didn't want to take over as a shrine maiden, living alone for the rest of her life – and he certainly wasn't about to let her marry some village idiot and spend her days raising a family with said idiot.
No... if she was going to marry anyone, it was going to be him.
After all, hadn't she sworn to stay by his side? And since the well had chosen to keep her here, in his era, the only other thing that could pull her away from him would be another man. He suppressed a growl at that thought, and hugged her tighter.
His mind had been made up... but how to bring such a thing up to her without getting slammed into the ground?
He was well aware that in her era, unlike his own, Kagome, at barely sixteen, was just now old enough to be married. The laws in her time, as explained by her mother, stated that she was now old enough to marry, but yet by the social mores of her era, it was considered shaming to marry so young.
Keh. Her time is so strange. You can start... being with guys like a wife would when you're thirteen, but if you get married before you're at least in your twenties, you've shamed your family. But it's not shameful to sleep with many males, only to marry one of them... it's a good thing we're not in her time anymore, he thought darkly. And that she hasn't been 'enjoying' any guys company. I'd have had to kill them.
Hesitating, yet determined to find out her thoughts on this particular matter, he spoke up, his fingers nervously tapping against her arm. “I... I wanted to ask you what you want to do now, K'gome. You know, now that the well has closed,” he added as he felt her stiffen a little.
“Oh,” she said softly, “I... hadn't really thought about it. After all, none of us can really make plans until Naraku's dead and the jewel's gone, ne? Things can pretty much stay the same until then.”
“Keh. Maybe... but you still need to think about it. I mean, you will have to have a way to survive here, now. The village elders will start questioning things once it all kicks in – you know, once our mission is over, and you're still here, they'll start to wonder what place you're going to have in the village.”
She nodded reluctantly against his shoulder. “Hai... I know. They'll probably want me to start training with Kaede-baachan... but I don't want to be Kikyou,” she sighed sadly, stiffening even more when she realized what she'd said. “I-I mean, I just don't want to be a s-shrine maiden,” she spit out, obviously not wanting to upset him.
“It's okay, Kagome, I understand what you mean,” he said after a moment, pulling away a little to reach up with a finger and turn her face to his. “You don't have to do what you don't want to do, you know. I'll always take care of you, no matter what.” Inside, he was glad as hell he'd been right, and she didn't want to be the village miko.
Her eyes met his, and immediately, a pulse of desire went through her – he was so beautiful to her, with his shining golden eyes staring into her own so intently. Without realizing it, her eyes drifted down to his lips, so close to her own, and she blushed, her gaze going heavy-lidded and her scent spiking, though she wasn't aware of that last part.
Inuyasha certainly was, though, and he wasn't about to fight it, or what that scent was doing to him. After all, this was Kagome – the woman he was choosing to stay with, forsaking his past for his future.
Of course, despite his guilt towards Kikyou, it wasn't as though he was turning his back on her – he hadn't, after all, actually promised her he would go to hell with her. She'd tried to get him to promise such, but he'd been under a spell at the time, and didn't consider any words he'd spoken then as ones he needed to honor.
No... he'd sworn vengeance on her behalf against Naraku, and he would deliver on that promise, no question. But that had nothing to do with his desire to stay with Kagome, and that was something that he would do, no matter what. After all, Kagome was a part of his quest to destroy the spider hanyou, and her presence wasn't interfering in any vow he'd made to Kikyou, so in his mind, there was no conflict.
He wasn't stupid enough not to know that the undead miko would see it differently, but that was her problem. She was already dead, and would be returning to her rest once Naraku was gone – but Kagome was not dead, and he had no intentions of leaving her alone and vulnerable only to sit around in hell twiddling his thumbs.
Taking the cue from her scent and actions, he lowered his mouth to hers, just barely touching her lips to make sure this was really what she wanted – and from her response, it really was.
With a moan, she parted her lips in invitation, hoping and praying he would take her offer, and her pulse leapt in excitement as he did, indeed, take her up on it, slanting his lips over hers and deepening the kiss as his tongue invaded her mouth quite happily.
I wonder how far she's willing to let me go, the hazy thought crossed his mind as his tongue twined with hers and he moaned at her taste. Kami, she tastes so good... but I knew she would. His hand slipped around to thread through her raven locks and hold her to him as he turned his head again to take the kiss even deeper, running his tongue over every available place in her mouth, and then lick across her palette, which made her moan.
He let her go when she pulled back to catch her breath, her heavy panting exciting him further as he nibbled and licked his way down her throat, settling in to suck at her pulse point as her head dropped back, the submissive aspects of the position not lost on him. His youkai blood roared to the surface at that, and his eyes flashed red for a split second.
Lifting her up, he rose gracefully and strode over to the furs, kicking them around into a nice pile that he placed her gently on, his lips and tongue wreaking continuous havoc on her senses and keeping her in a sensuous haze that was in danger of shutting down all senses not currently engaged by the hanyou in her arms.
Following her down, he pressed himself to her, letting her feel him and his aroused state as he nudged aside her shirt to nibble gently on her sensitive collarbone. “Is this okay?” he murmured questioningly as his hands gently caressed her sides, his claws adding something to the caress that had her shivering in ecstatic reaction.
“Y-yes,” she stuttered, obviously having a hard time speaking as she swallowed heavily. “I-Inuyasha... mmm... w-why are you doing this?” she managed to get out around gasps and moans of pleasure.
At that question, he moved away from her fragrant skin and met her gaze with his own heavy one. “Because I want to, Kagome. Are you going to tell me to stop?” he asked, suddenly apprehensive. Would she truly accept him, as a lover...? It was one thing to accept him as a friend – and another to accept him as an equal – as a lover.
His secret fear that she wouldn't accept him in this manner was gone with her next words.
“No,” she gasped as his hand swept across one breast, instantly exciting the tip into hardening. “I've always been willing to give you anything you wanted from me, Inuyasha. You just never showed any interest.”
“Keh. Wrong. Why'd you think I always chased other males away? Just friends don't get jealous, K'gome,” he muttered as he hesitantly brought both hands up to rest on the hem of her shirt. “Can I?” he asked, tugging on the garment to let her know what he wanted.
“Mhmm,” she breathed, unable to think of any reason why she shouldn't do this. After all, her life was now in this world, and the idea of disappointing her family was a moot one, since she'd never be able to go back to her time, anyway. For all intents and purposes, she was now an adult and could do what she wanted.
And what she wanted to do, was Inuyasha. No pun intended, she giggled to herself almost drunkenly as he began to pull her shirt over her head. Nope, not at all. Wiggling a bit to assist him in removing the garment, she reached behind herself to snap her bra open, knowing that would be next, and blushed deeply as his eyes plastered to her chest the moment the shirt came away. She left the bra in place for the moment, knowing he could slide it off easily when he was ready to.
Eyes alight with wonder, he ran a clawed finger along the lace edge. “What's this called?” he asked softly.
“It's a bra,” she replied, a blush staining her cheeks. “It kinda keeps things from jiggling and bouncing around.”
“Oh, like the breast bindings my mother used to wear,” he nodded. “Only these are prettier,” he mused, running his finger over the lace as her nipple budded tightly against the fabric in response.
'Y-yeah,” she managed to get out around the sensations running through her body and short-circuiting her mind. “Like that.”
Unable to resist, Inuyasha lowered his head and nipped at that tempting little peak, and she responded with such a delicious gasp and arch into the caress that he immediately tugged the bit of fabric away from her, his eyes glazing as her naked breasts came into view.
Sure, he'd seen them before, most notably in Togenkyo when he'd interrupted her sake bath and she'd stood up to greet him completely nude, but now? Now was completely different – because they were bare and welcoming his touch, for the first – but most definitely not the last, if he had anything to say about it – time.
His eyes smoldered hotly as they took her in, and then he lowered his head and took a coral nipple between his teeth, startling a squeak from her. He decided that it was a cute sound, and he'd like to hear it again as his hand came up and massaged the other breast as he began suckling the furled nipple in his mouth.
… so good... His eyes flicked up as she whined at him, his surprise at the sound causing him to let go of the nipple in his mouth to ask, “Are you okay?” with apprehension. This was all new to him, after all, and he wasn't sure that sound was a good one – pups whined when hurt or ill, or when being disciplined – so that sound usually meant something bad.
It seemed, however, that this was a begging whine, she was begging him for more, and once he caught the desperate look in her eyes, he grinned and moved on, kissing and nipping all along her abdomen and sides as she writhed and moaned and begged. It was all music to his ears, the sounds she made, but after a time, her scent became more than he could withstand, and he knew that the moment of truth was at hand – would she allow him to take this final step?
Softly, hesitantly, he put his question into one word. “Kagome?” he asked, tucking his fingers into the waistband of her pants and tugging, just like he had with her shirt.
The little priestess blinked, dazed as she tried to gather enough sense to answer him, and finally, understanding what he was asking, she blushed deeply, but nodded, a shy smile lighting her face. “I told you I'd give you anything you needed from me, Inuyasha. If you're sure you want me, then I won't say no to you.”
Something warm surged inside Inuyasha at her words; no one had ever accepted him in the way she was doing... it was clear in that moment that she had been perfectly honest in her words when she'd said she liked him the way he was, and that she didn't want him to change.
She'd meant it.
Warmly, though with a touch of shyness of his own at what was about to happen, he slid her pants and undergarments down together, leaving her completely bare before him – bare, and desirous of him, and with a shiver, he sat up and began to disrobe.
He could feel his eager length quiver at the thought of what he'd be doing soon – something he'd never thought he'd ever be allowed, and he flushed as he bared himself to his soon-to-be lover, suddenly uncertain. Would his body disgust her?
Sure, he knew he was pretty comparable to other guys, though larger, but... he was still a hanyou, and there had to be something disgusting about him for everyone to insist that hanyou were disgusting. He'd never been able to figure out what was so gross about himself, except maybe his ears...
But Kagome wasn't looking disgusted, not to mention the fact that she loved his ears. No... in fact, she looked like she was seeing something beautiful, and he hesitated, not sure what was causing that expression.
“Umm...” he started, and sparkling blue eyes in a blushing face met his gaze. “Is something... wrong?” he asked slowly, fighting the urge to hide his body.
Wide-eyed at the sight of such a gorgeous guy presenting himself naked before her, Kagome took a moment to understand his question, and she frowned at him, not sure what he was afraid of. “No... why would there be?” She reached out and tugged him to her, and he went willingly, allowing her to pull him down atop her as she laid back.
“You, well you j-just,” he started to stutter, and for once, she seemed to know just what he was trying to say.
“Inuyasha,” she replied, smiling at him shyly, “I was just curious. I've... never seen, well, you know,” she made a vague gesture, and he breathed easier as he took in what she was trying to say.
“I've never, either,” he answered back. “The only girl I've ever seen besides my mother is you.”
“Really?”
“Keh! Who else would want a hanyou?”
“But... I thought...”
Inuyasha rolled his eyes as he inwardly reveled in the feel of her body pressed so intimately against his own, knowing she was, for the moment, oblivious to their current circumstances. “Come on, wench! She wanted me to turn human. The only thing Kikyou ever did with me was to give me a kiss. She wouldn't even sit that close to me, let alone anything else.”
Kagome opened her mouth to answer him when she finally realized exactly what position they were in, pressed naked together from knees to chest, and her jaw sagged as her eyes widened.
“O-oh!” she choked out, suddenly feeling every square centimeter of skin that was being scorched by the touch of his own against her. And then Inuyasha was kissing her again, and it was slow, and hot, and indolent, leaving her with no coherency at all – and best of all... she didn't care.
New at this and completely untried, it wasn't long before both of them were impatient, wanting a completion neither had ever experienced, and slowly, awkwardly, Inuyasha pressed himself to her entrance, his eyes begging for her final permission. No hesitation in her gaze, she gave it, and just like that, he was pressing into her, pressing himself into her, joining their bodies and souls together as he sank into a place he'd never truly ever thought he'd be allowed.
He'd had dreams of this, dreams of touching this woman, tasting her, of being so deeply inside her that no one would ever be able to truly separate them again since shortly after he'd been awakened by her – but he'd never thought it would actually happen. This was a rapture he'd not thought possible, not for him, and yet, now, it was possible for him, and he couldn't be more grateful to the kami that had blessed him with this beautiful young woman writhing beneath him and begging him for something she had no experience with, yet wanted with all of her soul.
Completion... completion that only he could give her.
Pressing forward carefully, not wanting to hurt her though he knew this first time would, he hissed and his eyes fell closed in agony – it felt better than anything he'd ever known, and going slowly was killing him. He wanted to thrust himself inside her over and over, take her, fuck her, make her his, but he couldn't – he refused to hurt her any more than the act already would. And so he moved slowly, sinking himself into her an inch at a time, the pleasure so great he actually put his fang through his lip trying to keep his sanity.
Kagome's breath hitched at the burning sensation as he sank inside her, but truthfully, it didn't hurt nearly as much as she'd expected – it was more of a burning pinch, and within moments, despite how slowly it seemed he was moving, he'd bottomed out within her. Muscles clenching tightly around the welcomed intrusion, she inhaled sharply as it hit her suddenly – he was inside her.
This was something she could never give another, her virginity, and she couldn't help the tears of happiness that welled up within her at that moment – she'd wanted him for years, and to finally be sharing herself with him in this most intimate of manners was a dream come true. With that thought, she reached down and grasped his perfect cheeks, pressing him more fully into her as she opened her thighs further to encourage him to take every inch of her he could.
Inuyasha gasped as she opened her legs wider and grabbed his rear, allowing him to sink more deeply inside her heated sheath, and shuddered, his ears pressing tightly to his head as he inhaled. Desperate to keep control, he gritted his teeth, not even noticing the blood that spattered onto her chest from his perforated lip.
Kagome did notice, however, and with a sympathetic look, she reached up with one finger and wiped the blood away. “Inuyasha,” she whispered, “you can move now, you know. It doesn't really hurt, it just stings a little.”
“Are you s-sure?” he managed to get out around his clenched teeth, and when she nodded, he pulled back, his eyes falling closed as his whole body clenched at the feel as he pushed back inside her. “Ohhh... oh, gods,” he gritted, his head dropping to press against her shoulder as he pulled away again, only to return with a little more force.
In just about the same state he was, Kagome's eyes closed as she concentrated on the sensations of Inuyasha's body moving against hers. While there was still some sting, it wasn't much, and beneath that, and growing stronger, was a definite sense of almost overwhelming pleasure. It felt good, and was beginning to feel wonderful, the feel of his penis abrading her inner flesh. She'd had no idea just how good this would be...
Honestly, though, she wasn't surprised when he growled above her and suddenly pounded into her, raggedly howling her name as his hips locked against hers and he shuddered within her. She could feel his heated semen filling her, and she'd never felt more complete than she did in that moment, even though he'd finished and she'd not reached completion. It didn't matter.
He slumped against her, panting and almost sobbing as he nuzzled her shoulder, murmuring her name and painting her skin with tiny desperate kisses. “K'gome... Kagome.”
“Shhh, Inuyasha,” she whispered, “it's okay.” Caressing his back gently, she concentrated on soothing him, and within a few minutes, he'd calmed, and pulled away a little to look at her.
She looked so beautiful in that moment to him, the little bit of firelight dusting her fair features with a faint glow, and he couldn't resist, he leaned down to kiss her again, and then pulsed his hips against hers. He shivered at the feel of her tightness around him, still gripping him so sweetly. He was well aware that she hadn't received her pleasure, since he'd finished so quickly, but that was one perk of being hanyou – he wasn't really finished, as she'd just now realized, seeing as how he was still hard within her.
He grinned down at the stunned girl – she was in for a long night. Once was definitely not enough, and even if they fell asleep for a few hours, he'd definitely wake up wanting her again.
Retracting his hips, he soon had established a very pleasurable rhythm, and a pleasure-drunk Kagome was writhing and moaning beneath him, eyes glazed and face flushed a pretty pink. “I-Inuyasha,” she gasped out, “what... how...?”
“I'm a hanyou, Kagome,” he growled, enjoying the way she looked beneath him. He'd never seen anything more erotic – not even the time he'd caught Kikyou bathing. Kikyou was one thing – yes, she was an attractive woman, but Kagome... Kagome was Kagome, and in his eyes nothing else needed said. Just her name said it all. “I'm not some weak human that can't go more than once.”
Mine, he thought, pleasure completely separate from mating roaring through him at that, my Kagome... my wife. Always mine. I will never let you go, Kagome. I will protect you forever.
The build up took longer this time, and because of that, Kagome was right there with him, clutching to his shoulders and begging for something she had never experienced before but that was now rushing up on her and overwhelming her senses. Watching her face carefully even through his own ecstasy, Inuyasha couldn't help the savage thrill that made his eyes flash crimson that it was he, the half breed disgrace, that was giving this woman such pleasure as he pushed himself inside her so deeply that he was almost inside her womb.
That was all it took, the pleasure-pain of that deepest of penetrations sending Kagome wailing over the edge, her body arched into his as she welcomed his seed once more, every muscle in both their frames taut with their efforts for several long seconds...
And then they both slumped, suddenly exhausted as their second bout with Eros stole away all their energy.
Holding himself up above her by his shaking arms, Inuyasha finally managed to slip from inside her with a barely audible growl, and then slumped to the side, pulling her in close as his eyes slid closed and his breathing began to even out.
Just as sleep claimed him, he realized that he needed to see Kikyou one last time, to tell her who he'd chosen, what he'd chosen. It was only right, after all.
“Need... Kikyou...” he muttered sleepily as he fell into welcoming unconsciousness, not even realizing he'd said it aloud... and certainly not noticing the shocked stiffening of the woman he'd just claimed physically... and in his thoughts.
It would have been much better for the both of them if he'd actually bothered to claim her aloud, and explain his feelings to her, but he hadn't...
~oOo~
Shivering with cold and anguished shock, Kagome waited until she was sure he was completely asleep, then wriggled her way out of his arms and quickly found her clothes by the fading firelight.
Dressing rapidly, needing to get away before she broke, Kagome didn't even pay all that much attention to how she dressed, just wanting to be covered. The moment she was clothed, she slipped her shoes on and then, with one last pained look at the peacefully sleeping hanyou, she turned and slipped out of the cave, wanting to get as far away as she could. She needed to think.
I can't believe I let him do that... and he was thinking of Kikyou, she sobbed inwardly, not paying any attention to her surroundings in her state of mind. I should have known...
She knew that he cared about her. That wasn't in question. And she knew he'd meant his vow to stay and protect her... the problem was, it seemed as though he was staying simply because she was too helpless to take care of herself, and not because he wanted to. He cares about me, but he still loves... her.
She could never accept that. I want him to be happy, and I want him to live, but of he's only going to live so he can protect me, and not because he wants to, then I can't let him do it. The thought of losing him - no, I'm not losing him, since I never really had him - had her sobbing her heart out as she began to jog, not noticing the branches that tore at her skin, nor the thin lines of blood they drew.
Finally coming to the banks of a small stream after a few minutes of running, she fell to her knees, staring into the darkened water with pained and horrified eyes. All she could think was...
“If he loves Kikyou, and he wants to be with her, why did he do that with me?” she whimpered, so confused she couldn't think straight.
“Because I'm dead, and he can't do that with me,” came a thin voice, and shocked, Kagome whirled around to stare with dismay at the figure moving out of the dusken gloom under the trees to stand accusingly behind her.
“K-Kikyou!” she gasped, hand going to her heart as she took in the woman's words. “What do you m-mean?”
Jealous, hurt that the hanyou she'd loved had chosen another, she stared bitterly at the woman before her who'd gotten to experience the one thing she'd been denied in her life – love, both physical and emotional.
“Just what I said. He knows that he cannot be with me in that manner because I am dead... and you are my reincarnation. It is the closest he can come to loving me, now. That is the only reason, I assure you,” she snapped.
Horrified, Kagome sank back on her heels, not even seeing Kikyou any longer as she stared at the ground beneath her. “He... he wouldn't do something like that,” she faltered, “he's got more honor than that!”
The undead miko made a gesture of impatience, her unbeating heart still writhing in agony as the memory of what she'd seen between the two in that cave continued to play out behind her unwilling eyelids. “Not consciously, he would not, you stupid girl. But the truth is, his heart will always belong to me. He will never see you as anything more than the carrier of my soul – we are soul mates, he and I, and you know it. You would be better off leaving now, before you get hurt any further. Copy or not, I don't want to see you suffer – and you will if you stay,” she bit out.
“B-but... I can't go home anymore,” the broken-hearted girl cried out. “What can I do?”
“Find another place for yourself, then. It is not as if this village is the only one in the land,” Kikyou huffed. “But if you value yourself at all, you will leave.” With that said, the undead miko turned and disappeared under the darkness of the trees, her shinidamachu lighting the way. Kagome watched numbly until the glow of the miko's companion youkai disappeared as well, leaving her alone with her thoughts.
She's... she's right, she thought disjointedly, tears pouring down her cheeks as she wept silently. I can't stay here and be his burden. Kikyou can help him find the rest of the jewel and Naraku... and I... I will find somewhere else to go. But I'll have to move fast, before he wakes up and comes looking for me.
Heaving herself up from the forest floor, Kagome let her senses lock onto the distant signature of Kaede, and began to run, headed for the miko's hut, and the only things she still owned in this world... the few things that were in her trusty yellow bag the last time she'd come through the well.
She could only be glad that she'd packed quite a few clothes, and her cooking knife, and that she had her sleeping bag and her little pillow – she'd have need of those things more than she'd ever have thought she would.
Reaching the village much quicker than she'd expected, she knew she'd have to move fast, because odds were Inuyasha wouldn't sleep for long – and she knew she couldn't bear to face him again. She didn't know if she'd ever be able to at this point, the pain inside was so great.
But even through it all, she didn't blame him... because she knew that she was right – he wouldn't have taken her like that if he'd realized it was because she was all he had left of Kikyou. He had too much honor to use her that way. It was all subconscious, and she couldn't blame him for where his heart lay.
It was just the way it was.
That didn't mean, though, that she could stick around and allow him to use her in that way, conscious or not, and that's why she had to get out now, while she still could.
With that thought in mind, she entered Kaede's hut quietly but with purpose, and trying not to wake those asleep in the hut, namely Shippo and Kirara, she gathered her things and began packing it all into her bag. Looking over towards Kaede's storage area, she took note of some dried travel rations, probably that she'd made up for them for when they left on another shard hunt, and she packed it all as well with a silent apology to the missing miko.
I wonder where they all ar- her thoughts cut off with panic as the sound of the matting being pulled back hit her ears and she spun around, wide-eyed, only to slump gratefully when Sango was revealed.
Gods, that scared me...
“Sango,” she whispered harshly, her heart pounding. “I thought you were...” she broke off before saying any more, but something in her words, or actions, tipped the taijiya off, because she narrowed her eyes on her best friend.
“What are you doing, Kagome? Did you have another fight with Inuyasha?” she asked suspiciously.
Kagome slumped at that question, and more tears burst from her; unable to hold it all in anymore and dropping her bag, she flung herself at the stunned taijiya, and the whole sorry story came out.
~oOo~
Pissed beyond measure at their hanyou companion, and even more so at Kikyou once the story had been told, Sango hugged the anguished young woman to her and shook her head, trying to think of what to do to help her.
“Kagome, I can understand why you don't want to stay here, but to just leave, all alone and not even have a plan on where to go? I don't think that's wise,” she said hesitantly.
Both women were startled at the little voice that spoke up then, not having realized that both Shippo and Kirara had woken during her tale. “She's not going to go alone!” Shippo growled out, glaring up at Kagome with his little fists clenched. “I won't let you, Kagome! I'll follow behind you if you try to leave me just because Inuyasha's a baka!”
Stunned at such a fierce declaration from her little companion, Kagome could only stare at him; suddenly so weary and worn out inside that she couldn't even think of denying him, she nodded slowly. “I won't leave you behind, Shippo, if you're sure you want to come with me,” she said tiredly. Shaking her head at the little kitsune who hopped into her lap and hugged her immediately she'd said that, she looked up at Sango. “I'll get word to you once I've settled somewhere, but please... don't tell Inuyasha? I just... can't be his burden, you know? I want him to be free to choose what he wants to do with his life, not stuck taking care of me like I'm a newborn.”
Reluctantly, Sango nodded as she watched Kagome set the kit down and continue to stuff her things into her bag. Brow furrowed, she said, “Kagome... you know, you might want to take some of those miko robes Kaede's given you.” She held up her hand at Kagome's sour expression. “If you're going to be moving to another village, you'll need something to offer them for them to take you in, and as a traveling miko, you'll be welcome pretty much anywhere you choose to go. It would also give you protection from bandits – most won't bother a miko, as they're too afraid to offend the kami.”
Not liking the idea, but knowing her friend was right, she agreed, even going so far as to change right then and there. Afraid that her time was running out, she finished stowing everything she owned in her bag, and grabbing her weapon, she swung it and her quiver over one shoulder, and her bag over the other, and stood, knowing she had to go now.
“Kagome... let Kirara take you to my old village. It'll give you a good headstart against Inuyasha, and he won't know which way you've gone if she flies you. Then you can travel in any direction from there, okay? Plus, you could take a day or so and just rest in the village – I think you need it,” she finished earnestly, Kirara mewing encouragingly behind her.
The little priestess thought about it for a moment, and then nodded as Shippo added his agreement to that plan, and with a hug and honest thanks, they all stepped outside, where Kirara instantly shrugged into her true form in a burst of flame, then crouched slightly for her passengers to hop on. Giving Sango one last hug and thank you, Kagome mounted the firecat, and waiting for Shippo to also hug the slayer goodbye, she pulled the tiny kit to her as he curled up against her stomach, and Kirara took to the air, immediately heading for her old home.
Sango watched sadly as the trio disappeared into the distance, angry, sad, and fearful for her friends safety.
Why did this have to happen?
The suddenly lonely taijiya walked slowly back into the hut to wait for the rest of the group – and the hanyou she knew would soon be appearing, irate and raging that Kagome wasn't where he could find her.
What a tangled mess...
~oOo~
Inuyasha woke slowly, for a few moments not remembering the events of earlier in the night, and stretched. That's when he realized he was naked – and then he remembered what had happened earlier.
A huge grin hit his face, but then faded into confusion as he realized that Kagome wasn't in the cave any longer, and that her clothes were gone, as well. By the weakness of her scent, he was abruptly aware that she had been gone for some time, and worry and fear kicked in as he leaped to his feet and began to yank on his clothes.
Keh! Why did she take off? What the hell was she thinking running off after dark like this? He couldn't help but worry that she was gone – what did it mean? Whatever she's thinkin', it's too bad – she's mine now, my wife, and I ain't lettin' her go!
Dressed, he kicked sand over the remains of the fire, and taking one last desperate inhale of her scent, and the mixed scents of what they'd done earlier in the evening to calm himself down, he took off out of the cave like a bat out of hell, following her scent through the forest. He was quite upset to catch little hints of her blood, and he realized it was coming from small branches and bushes along the way, places where she'd gotten scratched as she'd blundered through the area.
It only took him moments to reach the stream she'd stopped at, but his gut tightened at the other scent he caught. Kikyou... what the hell was she doin' here? Fear crept up his spine as he pondered what his first crush could possibly have had to say to his new wife... and he didn't like the possibilities. Tracking Kagome's scent carefully, he followed it into the forest again, and realized in short order that it was heading back to the village, while Kikyou was still close by.
Putting on a burst of speed, he headed for the village. Kikyou could wait, as far as he was concerned – his priority was Kagome, and until he knew what was going on, and that she was safe, everything else was on the back burner, as he'd heard Kagome say before.
Sure enough, Kagome's scent went straight towards Kaede's hut, and in a flash, he was there and pushing the matting aside to fling himself into the small house...
Only to find Sango sitting there... and no one else.
“Oi, Sango, where's Kagome?” he asked, his eyes darting around and taking in the absence of any of his priestess' belongings. That little fact sent a sinking feeling through his gut.
“She's gone, Inuyasha.”
Gone?
That couldn't possibly be what the taijiya had just said, especially in such a calm voice. He shook his head at her uncomprehendingly. “Keh?” he asked weakly.
“I said she's gone. Kagome has gone off on her own, and taken Shippo with her. She has no intentions of coming back,” Sango reiterated, her voice beginning to crack.
Stunned, Inuyasha could do nothing but stare in horror at the taijiya. It felt like he was living in a nightmare... “B-but... why?” he asked, anguished.
Sango couldn't miss the hurt in his voice and suddenly wondered if perhaps Kagome hadn't mistaken some things – or if Kikyou hadn't deliberately misled her. One way to tell... “Why don't you ask Kikyou?” she said, eyeing him narrowly. “I'm sure she could tell you quite easily why Kagome's gone – if she bothers to tell you the truth.”
Eyes flashing crimson for a moment, Inuyasha growled ferally, suddenly adamant about finding out what was going on. “You'd better tell me, Sango, don't play games with me. What the fuck is going on?”
With an upset frown, Sango caved and told Inuyasha everything Kagome had told her.
“... apparently, even after... sharing yourself with Kagome, Kikyou's name was the only thing on your mind, you baka. You have no idea how much that hurt Kagome, knowing that you were thinking of another woman while you were with her!”
Confused, Inuyasha scowled for a moment as he tried to remember... and then his last thoughts came to mind, and he lowered his head to his hands with a ragged sigh.
“It's not like that, Sango,” he said after a moment. “I was thinking as I fell asleep that I needed to see Kikyou one last time – she deserved to be told what I'd decided face to face. That's all.”
Flushing uncomfortably, Sango said, “Oh. Well... anyway, after you fell asleep, Kagome left the cave. She wanted to find somewhere to think, but when she got to that stream, Kikyou showed up... and, well... she told Kagome some things that just played to her insecurities. She basically told Kagome that subconsciously, you were only choosing to be with her because she was Kikyou's reincarnation, and because she herself was dead, and you could no longer have her. She told Kagome that you and she were soul mates...” she trailed off.
“I don't believe in soul mates,” Inuyasha said immediately, and wide-eyed with confusion at such a statement, Sango stared at her hanyou friend.
“What do you mean?”
“Look,” he said almost impatiently, casting her an irritated look, “saying that we're 'soul mates',” he parodied sarcastically, “is like saying that it doesn't matter whether it's Kikyou or Kagome, or even anyone else who's had that same soul. That's crap. I don't care about some generic soul that could be placed inside anyone – I care about Kagome. The person is completely separate from the soul – it's just a thing that gets passed around like a popular geisha. Kikyou isn't Kagome, and neither is anyone else who could possibly have had that soul. I mean, are you saying that you don't care who has Miroku's soul, that you'd care about them in the same way anyway?”
Stunned, suddenly knowing that Kagome had made a huge mistake, that they all had, in fact, for so long thinking Inuyasha saw Kagome only as a newer version of Kikyou, Sango shook her head. “I... I never thought of it like that,” she whispered.
He snorted, angry, though not really at her. “I know – you guys always assumed I cared for Kagome because she had 'Kikyou's soul'. You all should have known better – hell, by your logic, her having Kikyou's soul would only have made me hate her, at least when I still thought Kikyou'd betrayed me. And it ain't even fair to call it Kikyou's soul anyway – who had it before Kikyou? Should we find out and call it her soul? Give me more credit than that – I ain't that dumb!”
Suddenly feeling a lot more respect for the hanyou, the rest of Sango's anger towards him drained away, and she shook her head. “Well, Kikyou managed to convince Kagome otherwise,” she said after a moment, “and she was the one who put it into Kagome's head to leave and not return.”
Almost snarling in rage at the idea of never seeing Kagome again, Inuyasha stood up as Sango stopped speaking and took off out the door without another word, and the taijiya, suddenly very tired, didn't even attempt to stop him or follow – she knew quite well where he was going, and didn't want to interfere.
At least we can go to my old village tomorrow and catch Kagome before she disappears – she really needs to talk to Inuyasha. All this time, she was worrying for nothing, and Kikyou was lying through her clay teeth. Poor Kagome...
She wouldn't want to be that fake doll when Inuyasha caught up with her.
~oOo~
Kikyou turned slowly to meet the raging aura of the hanyou as he landed behind her, flashes of the way he'd looked making love to Kagome passing across her mind and causing hurt and bitterness to surge within her. That should have been me he was with...
She didn't say anything, merely watched him, waiting for him to speak.
“I ain't even gonna ask why you did what you did – I ain't so stupid I can't figure it out on my own. I'm only here for one thing,” he said dangerously, eyes narrow and crimson as he stared at her, “and that's to warn you – don't come anywhere near either Kagome or I again. I owe you nothing but vengeance against Naraku, and once that bastard's dead, the only tie between us is gone.”
“Gone?” Kikyou laughed bitterly. “The ties that bind us will never be broken, Inuyasha – if it weren't for me, you wouldn't be so drawn to that girl. As long as she is around, the ties between us will never be gone.”
He snarled at her. “That's bullshit, Kikyou, and you know it. If that was the case, you wouldn't be so mad that I'm with her, because if you two were one and the same, it wouldn't matter which one I was with. You are not Kagome. You could never be Kagome. There's only one of her, and she's mine. Leave, Kikyou,” he said as he turned to head back to the village. “Find your peace – but it won't be at my expense – or at my side.”
“How could you betray me this way, Inuyasha,” she cried out, her shinidamachu circling her in agitated passes as she let her overwhelmed emotions out of the tight grasp she usually held them in. “We were supposed to be together!”
He swung back around with a growl and tore into her. “That was over fifty years ago,” he yelled, “and you're dead! The living and the dead have no common ground, Kikyou, and you know it! And for all that you keep trying to convince me it's my fault you died, we both know it ain't!” He shook his head, suddenly sad as he looked at her standing there looking so tragic. “It's kinda telling that when I thought you'd betrayed me, I went after the jewel. But you... you went after me. You wanted me to suffer, and I just wanted to get away from the one I thought had stabbed me in the back. What does that really say about who's truly the dark, tainted being around here? Why should I give my life to someone who wants revenge for something I didn't even do – and she knows it? When did it become right to make the innocent pay for the crimes of the guilty?”
She stared at him, stunned to hear the way he was speaking – he usually wasn't so eloquent. He seemed to pick up on her astonishment.
It was his turn to laugh bitterly.
“Keh. The ignorant half-breed actually knows how to talk, and you can't believe it. I'm a tainted, stupid waste of flesh, so how the hell can I speak like this, ne? Funny thing about that, Kikyou,” he said sarcastically, “my mother was a hime of Setsuna – I might not normally use formal speech and big words, but I do know how to speak this way. And much as you all might like to think I'm stupid, I'm not. If I was, I'd have died as soon as my mother did – since I had all these upright, innocent and pure ningens trying to kill me, not to mention all the youkai trying the same. Feh,” he finished disgustedly, “you're just like everyone else, Kikyou. You saw what you expected to see. A disgusting, unholy, violent, deadly and stupid half-breed.”
“Then why did I travel with you? Why did I spend time with you? If you really believe that now, why didn't you before?” she asked heatedly.
“Because I was a fool. I hadn't been around ningens in a hundred and thirty years or so – the closest I ever got was when they were trying to kill me. What did I know of how they act, of how they think when they weren't trying to kill me? You acted different, and that's all I knew. And I fell for that, without understanding anything further. Sure, you traveled with me. And yeah, you spent time with me. Funny thing, though... for all that, you instantly believed that it was me that attacked you that day.” He scowled at her, remembering the confusion and hurt of that long ago day. “Even as I fell into your spell, though, when you pinned me to the tree, I was still trying to talk to you, to figure out what had happened. You never did question any of it.”
He was surprised at the guilty look that fluttered across the miko's face at that.
"I was wrong... back then. I know it. But what changed, Inuyasha?” she asked desperately, holding out a hand to him. “Why now do you forsake me? I thought... I thought you loved me,” she finished, almost whispering.
It was silent in the clearing for a moment as Inuyasha stared at her, sadness taking him over at the look on her face. He didn't want to see her suffer... but the truth was the truth.
“I thought so, too. Back then. But I'd think it's fairly obvious that neither of us really knew what that meant.” He shook his head, frustrated as he turned to stare out at the trees. “Love... isn't manipulative, Kikyou. And it isn't filled with mistrust. We loved the idea of not being lonely, not each other. Come on, Kikyou – we both know I'm not your type. I'm half-youkai, remember? You've been trained to destroy youkai. Ningens are your type, and I'm not one. That's why you wanted to change me – you wanted to change me into your type. But then I wouldn't have been me – and our relationship wouldn't have been real.”
Kikyou just stared at him, dark eyes wide and blank as she stood there, suddenly colder than she'd been since waking into her second life... or half-life. Because his words echoed truths she'd really known, deep down. And an even more telling truth... as soon as she'd realized that Inuyasha wasn't responsible for that betrayal back then, she'd known it wasn't fair to expect him to give up his life to go to hell with her...
She just hadn't wanted to go alone. The truth was, she was willing to let him die, just so she'd have company in hell.
How holy was that?
So much for purity.
“So... you're telling me that you didn't love me back then, because you didn't know what love was,” she stated emptily, “but that you do know what love is now. You wish me to believe that you love Kagome?”
Suddenly fidgeting, Inuyasha blushed uncomfortably. It was a bit difficult to hear something like that said aloud, even if it was true. After all, he'd never even admitted that anywhere but in the sanctity of his own mind...
It felt wrong to be saying such a thing to someone else, though, when really, the first person to hear those words should be the person he felt them for. But...
Finally facing the waiting priestess, he nodded shortly. “Keh. Kagome's taught me what that word really means. Hell... she's taught me more in the year I've known her, than anyone else has ever taught me. And with as many years as I've been around, that's sayin' a hell of a lot,” he sighed. Meeting her eyes, he softened a little. “I don't hate you, Kikyou, though I'm furious with what you said to Kagome. I honestly wish you to find peace, in any way that you want to. But that peace is something you'll have to find on your own... I can't give it to you, and neither can anyone else.”
Suddenly realizing just how truly alone she was as Inuyasha decried any hold she'd thought she had on him, Kikyou could do little more than nod at him, and turn to leave – all she had left in the world was her pride, after all, and she wouldn't let anyone see her heartbreak.
While she was aware that he was right, and it wasn't truly love between them, it was the only love she'd ever known in her short life, and it hurt to lose it. It hurt to be the one cast aside... the one that wasn't loved.
But she would leave with her dignity intact, if nothing else, and so, without anything else left to say, she walked coolly from the clearing, her only remaining companions her glowing shinidamachu.
Even they would one day abandon her, she knew; when she returned to hell, she would be completely alone.
Inuyasha watched her leave with pain and remorse – he felt badly about the past, and the hurts she'd suffered. But responsibility for all of that lay at Naraku's feet, and he wasn't willing to shoulder the blame for it any longer. It was time for this twisted triangle to end...
He wouldn't allow it to hurt Kagome any longer. No... she was his wife now, as far as he was concerned, and his duty was to her. He was very happy about that, too.
With one last glance at the fading glow of Kikyou's servants, he turned and headed back to the village, determined to get Sango to tell him where Kagome had headed...
It was time to bring her back... back where she belonged.
With him.
~oOo~
A/N: Welcome to my new Inu/Kags two shot. It's nothing deep and meaningful, just a short story I've had the plot to for over two years and never bothered typing until now. I was bored and wanted to do something Inuyasha-centric, so I decided to pull this one out of my file and type it up.
Amber
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