InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Kismet ❯ Interlude 1 – Matters Of The Hart ( Chapter 7 )

Interlude 1 - Matters Of The Hart

 

“I don't get it!”

 

That was the 18th time he said that. I was counting.

 

“Of course you don't get it. You're a guy. She's a girl.”

 

“But none of my normal approaches are working!” Miroku all but whined.

 

I sighed and flopped back on my bed. My very, very comfortable bed. Only the best for the girl plucked from her fabulous life to live one of demon-slaying without unapproved, already-in-the-know friends.

 

At least a couple of those friends were having relationship problems, too. And these problems could be dealt with. It was really smart of Miroku to turn to me, too. After all, my last name isn't Hart for nothing! And I was born on Valentine's Day.

 

Oh yeah, romance is my language.

 

“Sango isn't a normal woman,” I pointed out. “I mean, she plays football for crying out loud. I don't mean cheerleads for it; she plays it!”

 

“I don't get it!” Nineteenth time. For a man who supposedly knows what to say in every situation, he was being rather repetitive.

 

Sigh. Really, he's just like Jason and Tommy.  So pretty.  So powerful.  So... dense.  It should be a crime to be that good-looking and yet so easily confused.

 

“What don't you get?”

 

“I got her flowers and she cried!”

 

Oh Good Lord. “She didn't cry,” I corrected. “She had an allergy attack. You bought her lilies, which are gorgeous and a great choice, but covered in pollen. She's allergic. You should have bought her orchids.”

 

“Orchids don't smell pretty.”

 

“Orchids don't send Sango into a sneezing fit worthy of a deadly flu strain.”

 

He pouted.

 

He's one to be upset - at least he has a chance to win his lover. Maybe.

 

I rolled onto my stomach, kicking my heels together idly. “Do you love her?”

 

“I- well…”

 

Oh, this was gonna be good. “Well what?”

 

“I… she's really pretty. Beautiful, really.” That word still gives me shivers. He should really pick a different one. “And Sango is amazingly smart. She's resourceful and clever and-”

 

“Okay, that's great,” I interrupted. “But do you love her?”

 

He looked sheepish. It was kind of adorable, really. Suave, ever-cocky Miroku looked like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Rather than Sango's ass - and probably better for his physical health.

 

I swear the girl will beat him into an early grave. She needs to work on that - his face is too pretty to permanently scar like she'd been threatening.

 

“I don't really know a lot about her,” Miroku admitted. “I mean, I know a lot from observing her-”

 

“Oh yeah, that doesn't sound stalker-ish at all.”

 

“-and I've learned a lot from asking her younger brother and her father. But she won't give me the time of day! I don't get it!”

 

Twentieth time. And you'll notice how he ignored my comment there? Men - they never listen to what they don't want to hear.

 

“Ever realize it could be the blatant ogling? Or maybe the groping? Or the fact that given the chance, you'd cling to her like a Garfield stuffed animal on suction cups to a backseat window?”

 

He blinked. Like he was completely and utterly shocked that those particular avenues hadn't yielded amazing results.

 

I swear to you, Billy knows more about going after a girl than him. Which is sad, really. Miroku's like some sort of pimp. Women flock to him.

 

And maybe that's the problem. He's not really the type to chase after somebody; from what I'd learned, he'd never had to.

 

So how hilarious is it that his soul mate is the one woman on Earth who couldn't put enough distance between the two of them?

 

“Has she ever talked to you about me?” the poor guy sounded downright desperate. Silly man.

 

“Listen,” I informed him like Zordon imparting brilliant wisdom to the Rangers, “I am Sango's best girlfriend. Telling you secrets divulged over ice cream and pedicures - no matter how much she insisted she didn't want one - would be like, the biggest violation of girl code ever. I'd be condemned to never finding cute clothes in my size, never getting to sales at the mall, and a bad hair day for every date.”

 

He looked like I kicked his puppy. If he had a puppy.

 

“Oh, come on.” It's like he doesn't know me at all! “I'm not saying I'm not going to help you! I'm just saying… you've gotta be a bit sneakier about it.”

 

I mean really - it's not like they wouldn't make a cute couple. The whole soul-mate thing guarantees that. Sort of. In a manner of speaking. If Sango would just stop fighting fate.

 

But Sango likes a good fight… and that's where the sneakiness comes in.

 

Miroku's eyes sparkled as I outlined my plan.

 

Oh, Sango was going down.

 

She'd thank me eventually.

 

Hopefully.

 

OoO**OoO**OoO

 

Disclaimers:

I have no legal rights to the InuYasha characters; that honor belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and a bunch of Japanese and English companies. I just abuse them for the giggles.

 

Anything from Power Rangers (like our beloved narrator) belongs to Saban (yay!)

 

This particular entry was not written for a community. Hence the term “interlude”! Sorry, I know this is adding a bit of plot to the fun. We'll be back to the regularly-scheduled antics shortly ;)