InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Kiyou Nitsuite Amedare: Ten, Tentou, ken Touhou ❯ Rokuban Bundan ( Chapter 6 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

"I stared through the window for a long time before I made it to the shoji door, and managed to kneel as a maid came to me. She regarded me with that same invisible neglect I had gotten used to being treated with, and took the gift from the Iwamura Okiya with a clipped, 'Domo'."

Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Samurai / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 04.20.2006 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.7K | Visits: 525 | Status: Completed

A/n: I wanted to talk about something today that occurred to me… A thought, many one that isn't so strange but struck me as peculiar. I was finishing up `Memoirs of a Geisha', and I remembered from the movie what happened. But the sadness… in the story, that was so simply tangible to me, struck within me deeply. I had a hard time continuing to read, and I just… wanted to put the book down, and not finish it… knowing what happened either way, I had a hard time struggling over the pain I felt because of Sayuri's words. Now, I know it's only a fictional piece… But I couldn't help but feel so deeply for her, the distraught that held her there in that place. That perhaps the future fell through her hands like sand blows away…

And it struck me as strange, because when I read reviews of how sad it is when they read my stories, I cannot find why. I reread my stories, and to me they seem like words that just came from me… and as a part of me, I do not recognize the sadness that lies there. That sadness that is so tangible to everyone else. Is that not strange…? That at that point, I realized what I did when I wrote these words that cause such sadness to you, that it almost caused me to want to stop writing, because of the sadness I was creating.

But then I also remembered (I know I'm rambling, I promise, I'm almost done…), that sometimes it was nice to read something… you understand, and can relate with, because then that loneliness that lives within your own heart isn't so bad, knowing someone is there besides you. Not saying that you're happy they're in pain… but moreso happy, that someone understands, and that person feels the same in return. And neither of you feel so alone anymore…

Sorry for all the words, but that is my epiphany for today. ^_^ Haha. Now, on with the story.

RokubanBundan

Still the days passed like an unending dream, and I found myself sinking further into a person I didn't know. Kagome-chan seemed to walked behind me, farther and farther away until one day she was just a spec on the horizon. Kikyou-chan walked beside me, keeping me company when it wasn't wanted.

But I found I couldn't escape her… so instead, I hid behind her and used her as a mask of pleasantness, when all she gifted me inside was a coldness as chill as winter, and just as bitter.

Two more months had passed, and still nothing.

I was not given any of the `training' that had been spoken up when I first arrived.

I felt weak, and uncertain as sure as the daylight fades from the sky at dusk.

I was sweeping the stone pathway that lead to the well one day, when my own thoughts consumed me. I found myself inexpressibly sad… feeling the tears behind my eyes that for a while now had not found a way to fall. I kept my eyes trained to the ground, and ignored that which was around me… for if I did not notice, I could not be blamed for anything, though daily Obaa-san was finding things to accuse me of and beat me for.

It was just a way of life now that meant nothing more to me than the changing of the seasons. It happened, as surely as they change year after year. One day someone will not look up and say, “It is going to be winter right after summer” and it will be. Though they might believe this, either way it will not be true.

And such was this, if someone were to say to me, “Obaa-san will look at you with kind eyes and embrace you tomorrow” I would have probably given them a dirty look for imparting such a cruel joke to me.

Occasionally did Nigou-san try to save me from the older onna's wrath, and send me on various errands outside the okiya now that I was allowed to with such a privilege, on account of Nigou-san's trust in me. If it were left up to Obaa-san, Nigou-san was sure that I would be locked up in my room to starve, so that the world “would be saved one less rodent”. Rodents carried disease, as true as Obaa-san was sure I carried such.

Today was one of those days for when I lifted my eyes at the sound of wooden shoes approaching me, it was Nigou-san and she appeared worried to me. In her hands she held a small bundle of silk, and she placed them quickly in my hands and took the broom from me.

“Go quickly to the outskirts of the city, and there is a teahouse known as the `Shiro Sakura'. Take this there and present it as a gift to the mistress there, and tell her it is from the Iwamura Okiya. That is all you are required to do… be swift, but stay out as long as you possibly can, but be sure to be back by sundown. Hopefully by then Obaa-san will not be so angry.”

I needn't be told twice. As soon as she was finished speaking, I raced down the pathway to the hall inside the Okiya, slipped on my wooden sandals and ran out the gate.

I considered myself fortunate at the time to be able to escape Obaa-san's worse beatings. It was made known to me by Nigou-san that once Obaa-san beat Yura so bad she was in bed for two months, trying to recover from her injuries. It was when she was much younger, of course, and was not Geisha… but that thought made me tremble with fear and supplied me with haste when I left on errands.

The sun was only at the highest point in the sky when I left, so I had quite a many hours before it had to set. It wasn't an overly warm day… so it was somewhat pleasant to be able to wander the street toward the outskirts of the city we lived in. You may find it odd I didn't exactly know what city I was in then, for no one had made it a point to tell me.

Well, I was in the city of Edo, which was no small city even then, back all those years ago. It was like a maze, and I had to ask for directions many a time before I even found the teahouse.

It was settled in a fairly good location, right next to the theatre district in the city. For some reason the sight of that strange little teahouse lifted my spirits… but though it appeared nothing special, inside was what I thought made it grand. As I approached, I took notice that the walls were not ornately decorated, and the tatami mats on the floor were an off-white color instead of the pearly white one might have expected for an upper-class teahouse… But inside, it was the beautiful women I thought must have been Tennyo that made it so special. They were all like precious jewels inside a treasure chest, secret and full of sparkling mirth.

I stared through the window for a long time before I made it to the shoji door, and managed to kneel as a maid came to me. She regarded me with that same invisible neglect I had gotten used to being treated with, and took the gift from the Iwamura Okiya with a clipped, “Domo”.

The most expressive way to give one thanks would be “Domo Arigato Gozaimasu”… which would be thank you very, very much.

The mere fact she had expressed politeness, even in what was meant to be a crude fashion, lifted my spirits just a bit higher.

I realized I had a lot of time left to spend, so I just drifted aimlessly among the throngs of people like a twig drifts through the stream, flowing along with other debris with no real thought of where to go except where we are carried.

For some reason the crowds of laughing people caused a sort of contentedness inside me I could not explain, as though their joy was giving me a ray of light in my darkness. Yet… somehow, I could not grasp that light, and found my unhappy thoughts muffling it out before long.

I didn't understand it… I could not grasp why there may not have been such happiness as that in the world for me.

So I floated away from the current, heading down a path that seemed unused… I found I just wanted a quiet place where I could find solace, if only for a little while.

It seemed… Kami was willing to grant me some measure of peace, for I found a small stream and bridge next to an abandoned shop that used to harbor inks. He would use the water in the stream to create them, but they were too murky and in all the wrong colors… No one liked them. So the poor man had to shut down shop and moved to Osaka to pursue another career.

I knew these things for he had left only the month before, and I had overhead Obaa-san degrading the quality of his inks. I found it odd, for she used to deal with him. But it was no matter of importance to me, so instead I crouched on the banks and allowed my feet to cool in the water. I felt alone there, but it was comforting… as if I was untouchable, and nothing could hurt me again at this place.

The wind danced around me, and that was the only companion I needed. He played with my hair, and invited me to join him, but I was complacent where I was.

I was silently thanking Kami for the quiet peace he had given me in this place, until I heard a voice behind me.

“Otome… where is your Okaa-san?”

Let me describe before anything else the quality of his voice… it was a deep tenor, with a gruff quality to it… yet it contained a smooth and soft timbre that was hard to catch, but was the very thing that drew me to him. His voice was just like a tree… the bark may have been rough, but the leaves are smooth and pleasant to touch. This was exactly what I was reminded of when he spoke.

I frowned though, for I knew my peace had been rudely interrupted by this man I did not know. Just when I had thought Kami was going to give me a measure of relief, he stole it away just as quickly as he had stolen everything else. He was like a cruel man who dangled food in front of a starving dog. I felt anger at this, and since I could very well not be angry at Kami-sama… I found myself growing angry at the man.

So I chose to ignore him, and did not even look his way when he had addressed me.

He seemed annoyed at this, but did not give up as I had hoped he would.

You see, in the older days in Japan, if you did not like someone, you still mustn't be rude to them no matter the circumstance. So while I may be able to pretend I did not hear him, though we both knew it to be untrue, I could not be outright rude to him when I was only a little girl and he was a grown man. But these were only rules of society by which not all people played.

Well, you can only imagine my dismay when he walked up to me, and sat right beside me. It was an extremely strange thing for him to do, in his apparently expensive suit. I took a quick look at him-the first time I had paid any attention to him- and realized he was quite a man of status from his appearance. He was very well groomed, and it struck me as very peculiar that he might stop and take notice of some strange peasant girl.

“Shall I try again?” he spoke next to me, and I felt something strong flutter within my stomach. For him to be so near, and speak directly to me with that strong, resonating voice caused something within me to stir.

After a moment of silence, he spoke again, “Most people call me Yasha, but you can call me Inuyasha, otome.”

What a strange name that was to me! Inuyasha?

And I found the voice to tell him so, “Forgive me, but that seems like a strange name to me. Are you sure you are not teasing me?”

I tried to be polite as I said this, and I suppose I shouldn't have said it at all. But the curiosity took hold of my tongue and made me say it. He snorted, and must have found this amusing.

“At least I have a proper name. Your parents must not have been clever to name you properly, for here I call you `otome', and not once have you corrected me. So I can only assume that is what you are called.”

I might have been insulted, but I wasn't. Instead, oddly, I found myself growing increasingly fascinated by this man who not only spoke to me like I was in fact a person, but teased me like someone he might find familiar.

“My name is Kagome…” I whispered quietly, averting me gaze. From the corner of my eye, I saw him frown distinctly, and reply to me, “Look at me when you speak! I can hardly hear you if you are facing the other way, otome.”

I felt myself grow indignant, for I was sure he had heard me. I made sure my eyes locked with his as I pronounced to him clearly, “Ka.go.me. Watashi wa Kagome.” Inuyasha's eyes widened slightly as he looked down at me, for that was the first time he had clearly seen my face. And it was the same with me, for I found my breath was stolen away by his beauty… and it is unusual, for his beauty matched his voice. He looked gruff around the edges, but seemed so soft overall…

His eyes were a deep, inky black in color… so deep, they appeared almost violet. His hair had the same quality, and it was long. I didn't realize I had been staring until he spoke to me, “Well, Kagome-chan, you have very unique eyes. They're very beautiful.”

Hearing my name coming from his mouth was like a beautiful haiku, and for the first time I realized I did not give him the name I was called by now. I was unsure why, but it felt so natural to give him my childhood name. And when he spoke to me, he said my eyes were beautiful? It confused me, as so many things in my life did then, for so often was I discriminated against for those eyes.

Tears found their way to them, and I felt as if I might have been a well with how many times water fell from my face.

Inuyasha began to look weary as I grew increasingly upset. He shifted nervously, and swallowed audibly. I may have laughed at his reaction if I was not so overcome with emotion at the moment.

“You… are not going to cry, are you Kagome-chan…?” I tried blinking back some of the tears, for his sake, and shook my head rapidly. No, I would not cry. I was determined… to smile for this man who so abruptly came in to my life and showed me small kindness, and kindness was the greatest thing I could ever receive at that point in my life.

What made it so much more special was the fact that he was a stranger to me, and was not obligated to stop. He may as well just have walked by, and not have known of me either way in the course of his life.

But as he reached into his jacket pocket, I felt something shift in my destiny. Some sort of new determination take its place as he held out something foreign to me.

“I was going to give this as a gift to a Geisha I know, but she probably would not appreciate such a stupid present anyway. She gets jewels, and make-up, and beautiful kimono. Why would she like a kotodama rosary? I found it special for its history, but that was just me being foolish.”

I blinked at the beaded necklace, and took it gingerly from his hand as if it were indeed one of those precious things he spoke of. I felt a smile find its way to my lips, for the first time since my Okaa-san had died all those months ago. I lifted my eyes to this odd man, unsure if I would ever meet him again after this day.

“Inuyasha-san, I think it is very beautiful. You might find this silly, but this is the first gift I have received from anyone beside my Otou-san and my Okaa-san. For that, I do not see Inuyasha-san's actions as foolish.”

With my words spoken, Inuyasha graced me with a smug sort of smile in return, “I am happy you find it valuable, Kagome-chan. Maybe for once I have done something right.”

At this, he stood, and stretched before me. I again felt that strange stirring within me that he might act so comfortable around me.

“Forgive me, but I must go. I am running late. Speaking of which, your Okaa-san must be worrying about you, for it is getting dark. You might wish to hurry home.” And after he spoke farewell to me, he turned to walk away. It was in fact getting dark, and I knew a beating awaited me when I arrived at the Okiya for my tardiness.

But somehow, all I was concerned with was the fact I may not ever see again the man who departed me with such kindness and gave me renewed hope… With that, I stood, and found my determination again. My determination to make sure I see Inuyasha once again.

Glossary:

Onna: woman

Otome: girl