InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Letters From The Heart ❯ Cursed ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Letters From The Heart
Four

From Miroku, to Sango

Cursed

Sango. What is it with our friends and the desire to write letters suddenly? I saw Inuyasha writing one the other day - writing. And I saw him laughing at what he wrote, now that was a sight I'd never thought I'd see. Presently, I have not read what he's written, but I hope I'm soon to find out. I just need to distract him enough and search for it.

I wonder if you have written a letter, too. And it's strange because I don't know whether this letter-writing is going to force me to give this to you or not. It makes me feel better to talk to someone about my feelings and have them not be a book, like a journal. I can imagine you sat here, listening to, or reading, my thoughts and feelings. It lessens a load.

And all I can say is… I'm sorry. For the way I act, the way I am around other women - it's part of my nature, and I can't stop it. I guess you could say that was my real curse.
The amount of times I have been close to holding you - telling you how I really feel -. Well, I'd probably have a swollen face thanks to your fascination with slapping me every time I show affection.

Is it because you're afraid to love?
I wonder that all the time, and I know it's something to do with that - something to do with fear. You act strong, and you are brave, but inside you're still frightened, aren't you?

I want to wash away all that fear. I want us to be together - but the only way that will happen is if we defeat Naraku. Or should I say when we defeat Naraku. Because it will happen, believe me. True, three generations (including me) of my family have tried and failed - but we have hope. What with Inuyasha on our side.

Okay, that sounds like we're using him - but that's just not true. I never thought I could have friends. I guess we all thought so, apart from Kagome-sama. She's so friendly and good with people that she has friends wherever she goes. The only reason we've come so far is because of Kagome. Without her, wouldn't we all just fall apart?

Knowing Inuyasha, I doubt he would be able to live without her. That sounds overly dramatic, but I can't imagine how he would go on knowing another woman he loves has died.
I know I couldn't live without you.

That's the curse. To love, only to not be loved. To live, only to die.
I love you, Sango. But is that enough? Because, you know, I'll probably die before we can be together. Maybe that's just… fate.