InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Life Source ❯ Hajime mo ichido ( Chapter 4 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

I was certain that I'd never see her again after our encounter on my bedroom balcony. After that night…my health steadily became better…I was able to keep food down. I had less and less of my ever-occurring nightmares. I was sure that she was gone forever…that is until war broke against the elfin realm in the North. Father had been informed that a barricade of thousands of elves were marching towards the Western Realm in hope of taking his head. I was confused as to why they would even think to come and march against the Western Realm…when we haven't even done anything to anger anyone. Then my father explained that he'd sent some of his most valued ninja to the Northern Realm to spy on the elfin race. They were supposedly making some enormous weapon of mass destruction…weapons that could wipe out the entire Western, Eastern, and Southern Realms in one blow. I thought that idea was ridiculous. The elfin race was a pacifist colony… They wouldn't be creating something so destructive… No that wasn't possible. When I went to voice my concern over this ludicrous matter, father wouldn't even look at me. He just back handed me and called me an Elfin whore's lover. I was shocked. I'd never been struck before… this was something different. I didn't know what to think… After that day…I hated my father with so much of myself that I refused to even be in the same room as him----if I hadn't the need to be. I didn't want to believe what he'd called me. I wasn't a whore's lover…was I? Was Kagome just someone to lay with… to satisfy my carnal needs…? No… I knew my emotions would never lie to me. Kagome always told me to not always follow my instincts…but to listen to whatever my heart told me. I was thinking, at the time that she told me, that the idea of listening to a useless beating muscle was something so utterly foolish that I scoffed the idea to the side. Now…I couldn't help but take her advice and clutch a hand to my chest and close my eyes; feeling the rhythm my heart beat at… Kagome called it your "Blood Song". Your Blood Song was supposedly your way of life. Your life stream. Your very conscience. Right at that moment…my Blood Song was telling me that my father was a fool… for thinking that a race so peaceful would even think of creating something so massive. It was telling me that I was a fool for falling in love with an elfin maiden…for suckling at her breast and sealing my life to her. I removed my hand and clenched it into a fist, before punching a hole into the wall next to me. A small gasp next to me caught my attention and I glanced over into the doorway to find Inuyasha standing there with a fearful look in his eyes. I dropped my hand to my side and looked away from him. "What is it, Inuyasha?" I asked. "I…I had a nightmare… I'm sorry for disturbing you, brother." The little hanyou mumbled, his voice shaking. I glanced at him and shook my head. "You are not disturbing me. Go ahead and sleep in my bed for tonight." I said silently, but loud enough for my younger half-brother to hear it. He smiled and entered my room, closing the door behind him, and clambered on my bed. I'll never understand why he was so adamant at sleeping my room. I've tried so hard to hate the little bastard child… but deep down…I knew that I couldn't. My father loved Izayoi to his very core…and I couldn't help but admire him for that. Izayoi…one of my father's former concubines, was someone I've come to depend on when father was angered with me. She was my step-mother…the second Lady of the Western Realm. I hated her at the beginning for having the nerve to take my mother's place… It'd taken me years to come to terms with my mother's absence. I'd been sitting in the library; hours after my studies had been through, just staring into nothing… when Izayoi had entered the doorway behind me. She asked me if I was all right. I didn't say anything…just glared at the table in front of me. She'd been so patient with me. She didn't push me into speaking to her… I was grateful for that. Izayoi was… a woman of great patience. She was always so docile and would smile gently, when I refused to speak to her, place a gently hand on my shoulder, before leaving me alone. That gesture was my undoing. She was always so gentle with me. My mother used to pressure me into speaking with her, almost threatening to hurt me if I didn't speak my thoughts to her. Izayoi…was so soft. She wasn't my mother… she would 'never' be my mother…but I couldn't help but begin to see her as someone I could depend on and speak with whenever I was in need of talking with someone. She was always the one to take care of me whenever I was doused in my withdrawal's of Kagome's life source…she would stay up late at night, dabbing at my burning forehead with a cool cloth, she would be there whenever I would dry heave into the pail next to me. Whenever I did vomit…she would hold my hair back and whisper soothing words into my ear. I was appalled at how she could even wish to handle taking care of me when I had my own servants to take care of me. I asked her why she did what she did. And she answered with a soft smile and a whispered sentence that I'll never forget for as long as I live. "Because… I cannot sit on the side and watch as one of my family suffers… Can I?" Family…she and I were family. Maybe not blood related…but we were family. She was right…I had to look at the bright side of things. She never looked down on me, like my father did, because of my betrayal, by sleeping with Kagome and suckling her life source. Izayoi… I asked her one time if she hated me for doing what I did that hot summer night with Kagome. She only smiled and shook her head. She was pregnant at the time with Inuyasha and was nearing her final month. She patted her bulging belly and shook her head again. "No… How could I? It obviously happened for a reason, Sesshoumaru… If it hadn't… who would I take care of whenever he was ill?" She asked reaching forward and placing her soft hand on top of mine. I had a strange lump in my throat form at that moment and I quickly excused myself in fear of exposing an emotion that I didn't even know that I had. That was almost 10 years ago. I learned from one of the scrolls in the library that the life source, the more that is suckled the less the encounters with the elfin maiden you would need. I finally understood why I hadn't been severely ill with delirium and dry heaves lately. After the first suckle from Kagome's bosom… it'd been almost a year until I saw her again. I was ill almost every month…so ill that I was almost at the point of wishing I was dead. Then she'd returned and I suckled from her once again. Then… it was in the now… 10 years later that I haven't needed a taste of her bosom's essence. But I knew it was soon… I'd had a nightmare earlier that night. I was now awake and currently running through the forest at my fastest speed----attempting to take my mind away from the churning in my belly and my loins. I needed her. She was my life source…as well as my body and soul. She was the only one I wished to pleasure… To be with her…if only for one night again would greatly satisfy my carnal needs for a long time… but would it? Would it be enough for me? I wanted her greatly… I did. But…I wanted her to be with me always… To have her there with me at all times was something I could only wish for. Her patience and listening skills could rival Izayoi's…maybe that's why I took a motherly liking to Izayoi…she reminded me of how Kagome would listen and take care of me when I was still a young and naïve boy. Kagome… just her name brought a warmth to my loins…and made me salivate at the want of tasting her breast once again. I was running aimlessly through the trees not caring at where I was headed…when a scent caught my attention and I felt myself pulsate at the way it tickled and lashed at my nostrils. I stopped in my tracks…panting harshly---not from my running, but one from the heat building up in my veins. My demon side was trying to come out… it was 'her'. I change my course of direction to the middle of the forest, and came upon a clearing with a luminescent waterfall and a quarry that sparkled with un-mined diamonds in the moonlight. I was transfixed on the figure standing at the lagoons edge, dresses in a flowing dress that was off the shoulders, exposing her milky skin to me. I didn't breath…I was afraid that even the slightest breeze would blow her away from my mind. I was frightened that she was just an illusion. I closed my eyes and opened them again, almost terrified that she'd be gone…but when I opened them again…she was turned in my direction and was smiling that soft smile of hers. It 'was' her. She was here… for me. For us. I slowly stepped forward…my carnal beast needing to feel her flesh against mine. She watched me with those sky blue eyes that seemed to reflect and glow in the moonlight… She held her arms open to me…and I didn't waste anytime in taking her in my arms. Her lips against mine made me whimper like a pup…the feeling of her…was something that I've missed so dearly. I took her harshly that night…there on the grass in the moonlight. I took her as harshly as I could without letting my inner beast escape and hurt her. She took it all…no matter how painful I knew it would've been for her. Her soft sighs and cries echoed within my mind…the way her nails would scratch and bury themselves into my back. I later found that she'd left deep, long red welts. I didn't care. It was a reminder of how sweet how our joining was. After the first harsh joining, we were both glistening in a sheen of sweat. I was panting hard and holding myself up with shaking arms. She was breathing heavily, her large bosom heaving upwards into my chest. She was clutching my tresses at the back of my head tightly and closing her eyes again, she pulled my lips down onto hers and fed me her tongue. I relished the way hers wrapped around mine in a struggle for dominance. A cool wind suddenly blew into the clearing and we both shivered. I pulled out from her and carried her into the lagoon, which I knew was heated because of an underground current of volcanoes. While in the water… she took charge of washing me down. I closed my eyes and tipped my head back, taking in the feeling of her nimble fingers running along my muscles…the soreness of my raw in skin my back. I then took that moment to slither my arms around her waist and hugged her tightly to me. I never wanted to let her go. She belonged with me… my Blood Song, at the very moment…was telling me so. I held her against me for a moment longer, enjoying the way her overly large bosom were peaking and rubbing against my abdomen, before I pulled away and lifted her against a large flat piece of slate. I intertwined my fingers with hers and held her hands against the slate, on either side of her head. She wrapped her legs around my waist and I latched my lips onto one of her breasts before thrusting into her. Oh the burning…the burning of her essence, slipping down my throat and resting in my belly. I was on fire. Her cries were echoing in the cavern, in the cave behind the waterfall, behind us. I continued to suckle harshly and lap gently, while our hips heaved gracefully into each others. The water was about mid thigh deep to me and was splashing and churning all around us in slapping motions. When I released myself into her and she gave me that soft sigh of hers…I knew that it would be a long time before she ever returned to me again. Knowing this, I let her hands go and held her thighs around my hips. I didn't want to remove myself from her warmth…not just yet. I wanted to remember how she felt around me before I let her leave me. She cupped my face and guided me to the other one of her breasts, allowing me to suckle as much as I wanted. I was greedy. I wanted it all. I wanted her. Her essence wasn't enough. When I felt as though I was going to burst---from an overwhelming emotion…or from the milk I suckled I couldn't tell at the moment---I pulled away, resting my forehead against her breasts, and panted heavily for air. She was running her fingertips along my scalp and I relaxed at the motion. I felt a drop of something fall onto the top of my head, followed by another and I brought my head up, searching for whatever it was that was dropping on me. I was shocked to find that she was crying. Her eyes were closed, her bottom lip was quivering and she had large salty tears running down her rosy cheeks. I leaned forward and gave a confused canine whimper, before licking the salty droplets of water with my tongue. Kagome opened her eyes and hugged me close to her. I didn't understand… she was crying…for what reason? Was she angered or disgusted with me for my carnal needs? Did she not wish to continue giving me her life source? I was about to ask when her calm voice broke the tranquility of the silence around us. "I'm so sorry…Sesshoumaru…" She whispered. I looked up at her with confusion in my eyes and didn't understand what she was talking about. I was about to ask when a sharp pain in my neck ignited my body with fire and the world went black.

It was hours before I awoke…finding myself naked as the day I was born, and laying on my back on the clearing's floor. Where was I? Where was Kagome? I sat up and hissed at the pain in my neck. Reaching up, I touched the sore spot and grimaced. What had Kagome done? Why did she say she was sorry? Shaking my head, I dressed myself and slowly made my way back out of the forest to my father's estate. My body was still warm with her essence. I wasn't satisfied to the point that I wanted to be. I needed her with me. My neck was still throbbing painfully…I had to really wonder what the reason was behind her apology. Did she not want to give me my life source any longer? Was she truly that disgusted with me? Stepping out from the forest and into my father's garden, I quietly leapt up to my balcony. I was just about to settle down for the night when I remembered that Inuyasha was sleeping in my bed. I looked over at the snuffling hanyou. He was lucky… lucky to not live a burdened life such as the one I am destined to lead. I was just removing my haori, minding the welts left by Kagome on my back, when a soft sound was heard at my door. I turned around and found Izayoi standing there. She looked up at me with tired eyes before trailing her soft gaze to her sleeping son on my bed. She then stepped in and went over to the bed. I turned around. I would give anything to be away from this place…anywhere as long as Kagome was with me. I sighed and was stepping out into the hallway when my step-mother's voice stopped me. "Please…let me treat your back…" She whispered, standing so close to me that I could feel her warm breath on my back. I shivered and nodded, not feeling like arguing at the moment. She led me down to her sitting room and pointed to a futon place in the middle of the room. I lay down onto my belly, resting my head on top of my arms. I could hear her shuffling around behind me, pouring some liquid into a water basin and the clinking of remedies and herbs from her medicine shelf. She didn't say anything to me…I knew she knew that I'd been with Kagome… I hissed in at the stinging of the remedial medication she dabbed onto my welts. It hurt a whole lot more to clean them than to receive them… Of course…the only thing I'm thinking about when Kagome scratches them into me is…well our joining. I was slowly feeling my eyes droop shut when her voice spoke so calmly and quietly that even with my super hearing; I had to strain to hear. "You love her very much…don't you?" She asked, dabbing some more ointment onto my raw back. I didn't know how to answer her. I never wished to show emotion to anyone…not even myself. I was contemplating on how I should answer her when she sighed and continued as I'd already answered her. I just buried my face into my arms. "Of course you do… But…why must you sneak about to see her?" She asked. I was surprised… Did she not know of the laws stating that any contact between an elf and a youkai was forbidden? I mentioned this to her quietly and she paused in her treatment. I was confused as to why she'd paused and I sat up to look at her. She was sitting on her knees, still holding the wet cloth in her hands. She had a look of complete unknowing on her face. "Did your father not tell you?" She asked. Tell me what? I didn't like the sound or tone of her voice. I knew that I was about to hear something that I wasn't going to be happy about. "Your father abolished that law over 8 years ago…" She finished. Rage. Coldness. Heat. I felt nothing but hatred for my father. Nothing but hate. I wanted nothing else than to have my father die a slow painful death… "But…I suppose you could say that he'd only 'slightly' changed it…" Izayoi continued. "He stated that anyone could have whomever they wished as a mate…or a partner…but they would have to kill their offspring. That way, the balance between the lands would be the same and there wouldn't be riots day by day…of half-elf, half-youkai people taking sides…and…" She stopped and swallowed, dropping her gaze to her lap. I turned my head to the side to glare out of the window. Why was he so cruel to me then? Why did he call me an elfin whore's lover? If I was a lover of an elf…and had no children with Kagome…they why was he so cold hearted towards me? Did it disgust him so much that his own flesh and blood would be so carnal towards someone who wasn't of the youkai race? Izayoi was fidgeting the wet cloth in her hands nervously and I reached forward to take the small appendages into my own. She looked up at me and I kept my head turned away from her. "Where is my father?" I asked. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "He's…down in the abbey, recruiting soldiers for the war…" She sighed. I nodded and dropped her hands, standing and leaving the room. Putting my shirt back on, I began contemplating on whether I had the gall to murder my own sire. Shaking my head I sped up my pace down the long hallway before reaching the entrance hall. My father was standing next to a table with a goblet of sake laughing and greeting a long line of village men, youkai, hanyou…beasts. He'd been doing this recruiting all day and was still going at it into the middle of the night. He must've smelled me because I saw him stop his conversation to the man next to him and look my direction. He smiled and waved me over with that booming laugh of his. I clenched my fists tightly, willing myself to not dash over there and slash his very insides out, so they spilled onto the floor. I went over there slowly…the assortment of men moving from my path so I could easily approach the man I called father. "Good evening Sesshoumaru! What are you still doing up?" He asked, clapping me hard on the shoulder. I continued to clench my hands tightly, so tightly that I felt my claws pierce into my palms. "Father…I wish to speak with you. Alone." I hissed through my teeth. He looked at me with surprise before nodding and setting his goblet down next to his advisor, and led me into an adjacent room. It was dark and empty in there…the perfect place to speak without anyone bothering you. "What seems to be the trouble, son?" He asked, acting all innocent as ever. I turned around to face him and glared up at him. "Father…why didn't you tell me about changing that law…?" I asked. I watched as his smile fell and turn into a grimace. He was upset with me for bringing it up. I would've found out about this change of laws sooner of later. He just wasn't prepared to have to deal with this so soon. He just turned away and looked out of the window at he mountain ranges beyond. I waited for him to answer, albeit I was growing angrier and angrier every second he didn't answer. When he did…all he said was that he only wants what was best for me. "Best for me? Father! I cannot believe you!" I snarled. I ran a hand through my hair and began pacing around the room. "Sesshoumaru… I do not want you to be weighed down by an 'elf'. You are the heir to the Western Realm. How do you think it would look if you were to take the name and have an elf whore around your arm----?" I snarled and lunged forward, wrapping my clawed hand around his neck. I shoved him up into the wall behind us and felt my inner beast take over. "Don't you EVER call Kagome that foul name again! If you dare utter that slandish word around this Sesshoumaru again…I will not hesitate to kill you." I dropped him onto the floor and left the room. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't care. I just needed to see Kagome again. I needed to understand. I ran out into the night once again, and continued running. I didn't have any clue as to where I was. I was searching for the familiar scent of Kagome…only to receive the similar scent…only in thousands upon thousands. I made it to the top of a cliff range and looked down. There they were. The once pacifist colony…the elfin race was indeed marching to the Western Realm.