InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Light in Dark Places ❯ Chapter 8: Revelation ( Chapter 9 )

A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long, it was a major pain in the ass to write, and since it's such a pivotal chapter, I wanted it to be right. Enjoy!

 

Light in Dark Places

By Eilan-san

 

ooo

 

Chapter 8: Revelation

 

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding;

And all the lights that lead us there are blinding.

There are many things that I would like to say to you,

But I don't know how…

Because maybe

You're gonna be the one who saves me.

 

--Oasis, “Wonderwall”

 

ooo

 

“Could you please be a little more helpful?” Kagome said huffily as she went through the piles of papers on the desk in her university office. “I cannot for the life of me remember where that other book went… Hermione will throttle me if I've truly lost a library book.”

 

Harry grimaced just thinking about Hermione's reaction to a lost library book and began scanning the bookshelves on the wall for A Treatise on the Subject of Magic in Japanese Mythological Creatures. He was not looking forward to reading this book. For some reason, the British seemed to excel at making book titles ridiculously uninteresting.

 

Realm of the Rising Sun: Japanese Myth … The Tale of Genji… he lingered on the Anthology of Japanese Literature: From the Earliest Era to the Mid-Nineteenth Century by Donald Keene, remembering Kagome's bright smile and her worn yellow backpack that fateful morning at the Underground. A lot had changed since then and he couldn't really tell whether the changes were good or bad at this point.

 

The morning hadn't gone well. Kagome apparently hadn't remembered her nightmare the night before, and when she awoke claimed she had a horrific headache and hadn't slept well the night before either. She had been on edge, snapping at everything and everyone (especially him, it seemed) at every opportune moment. Granted, that was when she actually would talk to him… she'd been avoiding him all day.

 

He continued to skim through the book titles on the shelves of her office, going from one shelf to the next. As he moved from one bookcase to one on the far wall, something caught his eye. It was the print of the seekers of the shikon no tama; he'd seen it before, the first time he'd been in her office, but something was different, off.

 

He peered closer, his breath like fire in his lungs, as he realized he recognized them. The people in the print looked exactly like they had in his dream the night before. He was shocked, actually, at the level of detail with which he'd remembered them.

 

Kikyou and Inuyasha were there in their robes along with the demon huntress and her giant boomerang, and the monk in his robes. The figures were so eerily familiar; he could hear their voices echo in his head, loud and clear and resonant.

 

Still, something was missing. He counted, 1, 2, 3, 4 seekers of the Jewel… Then it occurred to him: there had been five seekers in his dream, not four. The priestess, the half-demon, the monk and the demon huntress and…

 

In the dream Kagome had been there, but he understood Kagome not being in the print; he reasoned he'd just imagined her being there. Someone else was missing, but who?

 

“Kagome?” he asked without turning around.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Shouldn't there be someone else in this print? I thought there were five seekers of the shikon no tama, not four?” There was a child… a demon child.

 

Kagome gasped and Harry turned around to see her gaping at him with very large eyes and her hand covering her mouth, but the moment he met her eyes she averted her gaze and gazed intently at the floor.

 

“W… why would you say that?” she stuttered, visibly squirming.

 

“Well,” he started, unsure of how to say what he wanted to say. “I, er, I just remember five seekers of the jewel, the four pictured here and a child, and I noticed that the child was missing from the print.” He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “But I could be wrong.”

 

He looked at her and although she was still staring at the ground, he could see that all the color had drained from her face and her knuckles white from grabbing onto the edge of the desk to steady herself.

 

“I know I never said anything about a fifth person, much less a child. Where did you get that idea, Harry?” she asked intensely.

 

“Really, Kagome, it's not that important. It was just a dream,” he responded, turning back to the bookshelf, cursing at himself for letting the fact that it was a dream slip and praying for her to just drop the subject.

 

“I don't think so,” she said quietly.

 

“What was that?” he asked, turning back around and stepping toward her. Look at me, please? He put his hands on her shoulders, and she turned into him, but she still would only look at his chest, never his face.

 

Why won't you look at me? He thought miserably. The tension in the air between them was almost unbearable.

 

Her face was contorted, and she started to look up and say something, but before she could answer him there was a large crack as Hermione apparated into the office.

 

“Oh, thank goodness I caught you!” Hermione breathed heavily, her bushy hair flying around her face and she was waving a piece of paper in the air above her head.

 

Kagome stepped quickly away from Harry and sat down gingerly in the chair behind her desk; Harry just hung his head, silently both mourning the loss of the moment and swearing at Hermione for her impeccably bad timing.

 

“Hi, Hermione,” he said dryly.

 

Hermione, on the other hand, didn't seem to notice, and continued unperturbed. “I have incontrovertible proof that Draco did, in fact, take a trip to Japan recently… he visited on Ministry business back in January.”

 

Harry furrowed his brow, “He did?” He strode over to her to take a look at the piece of paper Hermione held out for him.

 

He scanned the parchment… Draco had been meeting with a prominent banking witch from the area near Tokyo, apparently trying to broker some kind of ambassadorship program there.

 

“She's right, Kagome,” he said. “He was gone for almost a month…” He quirked an eyebrow and looked back at Hermione. “But what I don't understand is how Draco managed to be possessed by a demon. He may be a git, but he's certainly not stupid.”

 

“It wouldn't have taken much,” Kagome said faintly, her voice muffled as she lifted her head out of her hands and glanced out the window.

 

Hermione, realizing that something was amiss, looked quickly between Harry and Kagome with a puzzled expression.

 

Harry shook his head at Hermione, willing her not to ask, and was relieved when she held her tongue. He looked back at Kagome, his chest tightening and wondering what she was thinking.

 

“But I suppose it depends on the type of demon… demons only have the power to possess you if there is darkness in your heart, and Draco certainly fits that motif,” Kagome said tiredly, glancing back at Hermione.

 

Hermione cleared her throat, attempting to recover, “Regardless, you have both received new orders.” Hermione dug through her purse and produced two more pieces of paper, and handed one to Harry and the other to Kagome.

 

“I have orders?” Kagome asked doubtfully, scrutinizing the paper. “I'm not a member of your ministry, how do I have orders?”

 

“We've been ordered to go to Tokyo and investigate some more,” Harry said incredulously.

 

“Well, I suppose it's not an order, but you two really are in the best position to investigate this mess…” Hermione supplied anxiously. “Nobody knows more about this situation that the two of you, and since you're from there, Kagome, you know more about the area than any of us.”

 

Kagome sighed. “I suppose that's good, my mother will be happy to see me, and my grandfather might be able to help us.”

 

Hermione looked at Kagome with a perplexed look on her face. “So, do you believe all of this is real now, Kagome?” Hermione asked gently.

 

Harry was suddenly very aware of his heart pounding, and the feeling, knowing, in his bones that something important was about to happen, something was about to change his life drastically and he was excited and nervous and afraid. He tried to shake it off, but the feeling persisted.

 

Kagome paused, and then looked up and finally for the first time that day, she met Harry's gaze unswervingly, and his breath caught in his throat. “I never doubted it,” she said slowly, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

 

Something deep within his chest released in a short, sharp burst, and he exhaled little by little as he looked at her full on for what seemed like the first time.

 

The connection he felt was incredible… exhilarating, really. It felt just like flying on his Firebolt, and from the look in her eyes, she felt it too. He wanted to say something, anything, but his mouth felt like it was full of sand and nothing would come out.

 

Hermione cleared her throat, “Er, I will go inform Ron that you have accepted your assignments. I'll have a portkey for you shortly,” she said, plainly uncomfortable, and then with a crack she was gone.

 

There was a pregnant pause; neither of them wanting to disengage from the connection between them.

 

“Kagome,” Harry whispered, “What's going on?”

 

She smiled slightly, “Do you really think I know?”

 

“You feel it too?” he asked warily.

 

“This bond between us? Oh, Harry, I'd have to be completely spiritually dead for me to not feel that,” she responded, flushing slightly. “Actually, I've been avoiding it all day.”

 

Harry set his jaw, feeling unexpectedly bold. “You… you aren't just a muggle are you?”

 

Kagome bit her lip. “If you are asking if I am an ordinary human, then no, I suppose not.”

 

“Will you tell me?” He tried to keep the sheer hopefulness out of his voice, but he doubted it worked.

 

“Maybe…” her eyes dancing around the room nervously. “Maybe I could show you? With the pensieve? There are some memories I have that would probably explain it better than I could.”

 

Harry nodded. “We'll have to go back to the ministry for that, although I can transfigure a lot of things, a pensieve is too complicated for me,” he said.

 

Kagome quickly agreed and grabbed a few books to take with them on their trip, and they were on their way. The tube ride to the ministry was uneventful, with fits and starts in the conversation, and the occasional nervous twitch from one or both of them.

 

When they arrived outside of Harry's office, he almost felt like he was experiencing his first kiss all over again for all the butterflies in his stomach. He let them in and began drawing the shades.

 

“Your office is almost as bad as mine,” Kagome said, looking around at the mess strewn about the desk.

 

“What?” Harry asked, still mildly dazed. “Oh. Yes, I'm just as bad as you are about that.” He smiled at her briefly. “Would you mind clearing off the desk? You can just stack the papers on that chair in the corner.”

 

She dutifully picked up a pile on the corner of the desk and moved it to the chair by the bookcase as instructed. “It's nice knowing that wizards aren't that different from the rest of us,” she said. “We really are all the same in most respects.”

 

When the area was mostly clear, Harry pulled the pensieve out of its cabinet and placed it in the center of the desk and took out his wand.

 

“I'm a little scared,” Kagome confessed. “How does this work?”

 

“I'm going to need you to focus on the memory you want to show me,” he instructed.

 

Kagome nodded nervously and closed her eyes. Harry placed the tip of his wand to her temple and slowly, but surely, drew the silvery white strand of her memory out and added it to the basin.

 

“You can open your eyes now,” he said. “I've placed the memory into the pensieve, and now it'll be just like before.”

 

“Right,” she said shakily. “Shall we?”

 

“We don't…” Harry started fretfully, “We don't have to do this.”

 

“No,” she said, shaking her head vigorously. “It's important. It's important for you to see this… so you can understand. I should not have kept it from you this long anyway.”

 

Harry nodded and placed his arm around her waist, took a deep breath, and leaned forward.

 

When they landed, he saw that he was in a shrine or temple of some sort. There was a white house off behind him and a large tree to his right. In front of him there was a small building similar to a what he imagined a traditional Japanese house would look like, but it was too small to be a house. The breeze blew lightly through the trees and he was overcome by a feeling of deep peacefulness.

 

`This must be holy ground,' he thought. He turned to look at Kagome quizzically. “Where are we?” he asked.

 

“This is my home,” she said with a sense of absolutely utter calm. “This is where I grew up.” She paused. “Harry?”

 

“Yes, Kagome?” he asked, suddenly afraid when she looked up at him so intently from beneath her lashes.

 

“This is probably going to change everything,” she warned.

 

“I know,” he said simply, and he realized the he didn't really care. He was on the cusp of something huge and inevitable and there was nothing else in the world he wanted more than to simply fall over the edge into the abyss of whatever was going to happen next.

 

She gingerly took his hand and held it over her heart and placed her hand over his heart and he was almost overwhelmed by the rush of energy between them. He was dizzy and everything was brighter and…

 

“It's okay, Harry, just breathe,” she smiled up at him and he let go of the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

 

Kagome laughed, the tinkling sound filling his ears. “This is my childhood, Harry. You are seeing with my eyes, through my heart.”

 

He felt another dizzying rush of energy and suddenly everything is a whirlwind of image and sound… a young Kagome, dressed in a school uniform goes into the well house to search for her cat, only to be pulled into the well by a monster. Then, he is tumbling through the well after her and sees her find the demon Inuyasha pinned to a tree with a magical arrow. He experienced her innocent joy at playing with the hanyou's ears as he sleeps and her terror when she is attacked by the centipede demon again.

 

He saw everything - the discovery of the jewel inside her and its shattering and the beginnings of her adventures with Inuyasha and their companions: Miroku, the monk, Sango the demon huntress and Shippou, the fox demon child.

 

The names resonate in his heart as true as his own name, and he feels nothing but clarity as each aspect of Kagome's journey is revealed to him: Naraku, the revived Kikyou, and all the rest - like he'd always known these stories as well as he knew his own.

 

He is filled with joy as watches her fall in love for the firs titme, and he is torn apart by her sorrow as Inuyasha chooses the revived Kikyou over and over again and her unending feelings of inadequacy next to the priestess.

 

The elation he feels at the final defeat of Naraku and his incarnations and the completion of the Jewel, the completion of her journeys in this land, are rivaled only by his feelings of joy at the end of the battles with his own nemesis.

 

And finally, he watched, his heart breaking right along with her, as she handed Inuyasha the completed shikon no tama and told him, in that achingly sweet and so self-sacrificing way of hers, to take the Jewel and be happy with Kikyou in whatever way he deemed fit before jumping in the well without looking back.

 

And he knew that her life afterward was never the same after that… much like his life was never truly the same once Voldemort had been defeated.

 

He felt a tug on his sleeve and looked down to see Kagome looking at him with a sad smile. “It's time to go.”

 

He nodded and brought them out of the pensieve. They were both quiet for a long while, each lost in their own thoughts. Finally, it was Kagome that broke the silence.

 

“For the record, I have no idea of those men are after me or not. I haven't seen the Jewel in nearly five hundred years,” she said. “I don't where it is, or what happened to it, and I know I'm not the Guardian anymore.” She grimaced, “But I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier.”

 

Harry closed his eyes tightly, the ramifications of her revelations in their current situation hitting home. “It may not matter who the Guardian actually is. They may come after you anyway,” he said.

 

“I know,” she said. “But I've never told anyone but my family until now, and there isn't anything in the public record about me, so we can hope that they don't find out.”

 

“Trust me, it's probably better that way.” Harry's lips curved into a smile. “Fame isn't nearly as much fun as you'd think.”

 

“You're probably right,” Kagome sighed. “It's getting late, we should probably go home.”

 

Harry agreed and they made their way back to Kagome's flat in silence. Upon arriving they found the portkey (an old trainer) and a note from Hermione saying that it was for 10:00 am sharp the following morning, so they make arrangements to get up at 9:00 and pack a bit for the trip before dressing for bed.

 

“Will you be alright tonight, Kagome?” Harry asked as they were starting to wind down for the night.

 

“If I'm not I'll call,” she responded teasingly as she went in her room, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Oyasumi nasai, Harry.”

 

Harry smiled, “Goodnight, Kagome.” He pulled back the sheets on his bed and settled in, his mind drifting to the memory he'd seen that day, and as he fell asleep all he could think of was Kagome.

 

When he dreamt this time, he was in a dark fog. He could barely make out a shape moving in the fog farther off, but other than that there was nothing. He couldn't even see the ground beneath his feet.

 

As the shape in the fog moved closer, he saw that it was Kagome. As she came into view, she looked right at him and he was hit by a torrent of anger and epic sadness, feelings that he recognized had been simmering under the surface of the memory he'd seen that afternoon.

 

“Not everyone is so lucky, you know,” she said resolutely as he struggled under the weight of her surging emotions of hate and betrayal and love and grief for the things and people she'd lost, but especially for Inuyasha. “You are remembered and held up as a hero for saving the world; no one even is even aware of the sacrifices I made to save my world.”

 

It was getting to be more than he could take… the weight was almost crushing him now and although the hate wasn't directed at him, his heart was beginning to throb painfully in his chest and he dropped to his knees. It felt so much like legilimency, but he wasn't seeing her memories, just feeling her emotions.

 

“Kagome, please stop,” Harry pleaded, “Please stop, it hurts so much…”

 

“I'm not doing anything,” she whispered, looking at him sorrowfully.

 

Her aura was flaring a dark, deep purple and as he looked around himself, his was as well.

 

“There's so much darkness,” she whispered again, and then looked at him, “There's darkness in you too.”

 

“Not all darkness, though,” he said, his face contorted painfully. “Not in you either.”

 

“Sometimes I'm not sure,” she said, walking over to him and kneeling in front of him.

 

“See, it's right here.” She pointed to her chest, and he saw that the area over her heart was covered in black. But, to his surprise, when he looked at his own chest, his heart was also covered.

 

He met Kagome's eyes and tried to reach out for her, but his hands were repulsed by the aura.

 

“Why can't I touch you?” he asked.

 

“I don't know,” she replied. She tried to take his hands, but she was also repulsed by his aura.

 

Kagome began to cry. “Why… why is it always the people I get close to, I can't touch?”

She let out an agonized wail and abruptly he was back in his bed, sitting straight up and wide-awake.

 

He rushed quickly into Kagome's bedroom, and saw her sitting up, also awake and panting heavily.

 

They stared at each other for a long moment, and Harry was unsure of what to do. He was afraid to touch her, but he was afraid not to touch her, he needed the assurance that she was real that what he was feeling was real, even if he couldn't quite put a name to it, so when she opened her arms to him, he immediately crawled onto the bed and hugged her as hard as he could as she buried her face in his chest.

 

“That wasn't just a dream, was it?” he asked softly, and felt her shake her head. “He hurt you very, very badly, didn't he?”

 

Kagome hesitated and then nodded miserably. “I gave up so much; my chances of doing well in school, of having normal friends, of having a normal life. It wasn't just because of my duty, although that was part of it, most of it was for him. That maybe if I loved him enough, he would be able to see past the fact that he had a promise to keep, and finally see Kagome instead of Kikyou.”

 

She sighed and snuggled closer. “No one has ever really seen me, though. I've always been either Kikyou's reincarnation, or just a normal teenager, neither of which is truly who I am.”

 

Harry inhaled slowly as he realized that he was standing on the precipice of the abyss he'd felt earlier, looking over the edge of something unknowable.

 

Out of all the people in the world, he knew she understood. That she was likely the only person who would ever understand that part of him, and the moment that hit him, he felt himself start to fall over the brink.

 

“I also know about sacrifice. I lost everyone I ever loved because of a stupid prophecy and some idiot bent on world-domination. I'll never know my parents because of him.”

 

He was surprised to discover that he was crying, which only made Kagome cry and hug him harder, until they both collapsed down on the bed in each other's arms; both grieving for each other and for their own lost innocence, but also crying in relief of finally finding someone else who understood.

 

They fell asleep wrapped up in each other's arms and neither moved till morning.