InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Limerance ❯ What I Seek ( Chapter 4 )

Limerance

Chapter 3 - What I Seek

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It was a dream.

He was dreaming.

Sesshoumaru knew it the moment he saw her.

Somehow, his mind had taken him back to that moonlit night - the night that her eyes had captured his soul.

She stood in the river, the water rising up to her waist. Her head was tilted back, her eyes closed against the gentle stream of the small waterfall above her. One hand was raised - she held her fingers against her throat. The expression she wore was one of utmost peace.

The moonlight caressed her skin as gently as a lover's hand. Every curve - every dip and swell of her body was exposed to the bright, blue, radiance of the night. To think that he remembered it in such sharp detail was disturbing. That night, he'd thought that he had watched her with an impassive gaze. How wrong he'd been. An impassive gaze could not have captured the memory with such perfection. It seemed that he could even see the goose bumps on her flesh.

He watched the water trickle down her throat, swore that he could see her pulse there. That long, graceful neck, those small, delicate fingers, those long, black eyelashes beckoned him. That's when he realized that one thing was different from his memory. He wasn't hiding in the shadows of the forest. He was wading in the stream. The water should have been cold, but he was too enraptured to feel such a shallow sensation. Instead, he was mesmerized as - with a small sigh - she opened her eyes. This time, she did not look in some vague and general direction. This time, she looked at him. As before, he felt as though he'd been hit with something cold in his chest - like a spike of ice had been driven through his heart.

He was moving forward before he could understand the need to do so. In a blink, he was before her, looking down at her as she craned her neck to continue looking into his eyes. His hand reached up, his claws tracing the outline of her jaw. His need for her was so primal, so terrifying, that he couldn't move. Those eyes - those haunting eyes - looked deep enough to drown in. To think that she had faded; to think that she was no longer there! How dare she? How dare anyone take those eyes from him?

“You disappeared…” he ground out. Her hand came up to cup the one he held against her cheek. “Why?” Her lips moved but no sound emerged. Frustrated, he brought up his other hand to close around her neck - a threat, no more. “Tell me why…” Again, her lips moved soundlessly. She looked almost pained. Something small and warm brushed against his chest. Her hand, he realized. Without meaning to, he leaned down until he felt her fingers brush against his ears. The foreign sensation caused a shiver to tighten the muscles in his body. Like this, her eyes seemed even bigger. The color took over all of his vision - it surrounded him.

With a frustrated and almost pained growl, he leaned even farther down and pressed his cheek against her neck. Her heartbeat fluttered there, like a small butterfly caught in the grip of a predator. Perhaps that wasn't so far from the truth. He didn't understand his own desires. After all this time, he still didn't know what he wanted most - to kill her, harm her, have her, taste her, or possess her. The unknowing was maddening. Slowly, with more gentleness than he thought he could possess, he pressed his lips against her neck, trailing a path upwards until his mouth was right next to her ear.

“Tell me…how have you bewitched me so?” The sound of the waterfall faded into the background. There was only her breathing now. In and out, and out. Then, without warning, she whispered -

“Sesshoumaru…”

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The priestess Midori awoke with a start.

Covered in cold sweat, she tried to best to settle her heavy breathing. Her heart was pounding, as though she had just run for miles in a field. Remnants of the dream flashed like lightning in her mind. Deeply unsettled by what she had just seen, she swung her legs over the side of the bedroll and stood. Her knees wobbled and she barely stopped from hurting herself as she stumbled and hit her shoulder against the wall. Almost immediately, there was a rustle and a knock at her door.

“My Lady? Are you alright?”

“I'm fine, Mayu,” she called out reassuringly though she felt far from “fine” at all.

“I heard a noise. May I come in?” Suddenly afraid that another would see her in such a state, she gave a firm denial.

“No! I mean, it's alright, Mayu. It's just a bad dream.”

“Another vision, Priestess Midori?”

“No,” she replied almost breathlessly. “Something…else…” At last, her guardian was satisfied with her reply.

“Alright, My Lady. Please call if you need me. I am always here.” The devotion and complete loyalty in her voice calmed Midori and made her severely uncomfortable at the same time. She sat back down on her futon and tried to gather her muddled thoughts. It was the same dream again - the same one she'd been having for years. She was surprised. The dream hadn't come to her in months. She was so sure that it had finally released its hold on her. To see it again now was a shock to her system.

It was always murky. There was a river and waterfall. The moon was shining brightly. Although she felt at peace, there was a lurking fear in her heart. It grew and grew until she felt its weight to be unbearable. Then, right as she wanted to plummet into the cold water to drive away the feeling, he was there. His beautiful face always appeared out of nowhere. As in every instance of this dream, she did not know what he was - an angel reaching out help her, or a demon bent on devouring her soul. He would move closer and closer until she could feel his body heat. He was so tall, like a mountain. When he stood in front of her, he blocked out the moonlight.

Damn those mesmerizing eyes. They were like twin embers burning in the night. The moon seemed to give them even more fire. Such passion was written there that she couldn't move away even if she'd wanted to. In that moment, if he asked for it, she would give him all that she was. That's what frightened her the most - that she would let another being overpower her that way. Letting out a muffled groan, she buried her head in her arms and squeezed her eyes shut. For the first time since she'd first had the dream, she dared to utter the one word that always plagued her afterwards -

“Sesshoumaru…”

It was a name. A title as beautiful as he was. Suddenly, something seemed to click inside her mind. Just like the dream, flashes and images moved before her eyes. A forest, a ceremony, a crowd, a man crying out a name with a trembling voice. For a split second, she knew all of it. Then, as suddenly as it had come, the knowledge faded once again. She felt weakened, almost drained. A memory? It had to be.

“Sesshoumaru…”

As soon as that name slipped past her lips, she knew that she had tasted it before. Was it a clue to her past? Could this man be the key to unlocking her memories?

Three years prior, she had awakened in the forest without a clue of who she was. A priestess named Akiko had found her, naked and shivering in the grass. At first, the woman had assumed her to be another survivor of the war. But, as time went on, she found out that she was different. She could purify water, heal the sick by merely touching them, feel the rain before it came, and even make flowers bloom in the middle of the harshest winter.

For a long time, she did not have a name. She didn't want one, hoping that she could remember who she was. She clung to that belief, but as the months flew by, her hope faded with the spring and summer. With a heavy heart, she took on the name “Midori” and accepted her new life. But that was not the end.

Midori learned that Akiko led a group of monks and priestesses on a mission to help the survivors of the raging war. There were rumors that the leader of the Western rebellion was searching for an ancient power that would awaken something sinister. As a holy priestess, that was something that Akiko could not allow. She offered Midori the chance to train as a priestess to follow her on her various travels through the lands. It was her goal to find the power before the Western armies and to destroy it before it could be used for evil. Very often, they did not have a particular direction. They could only follow rumors. They often camped in the middle of nowhere, but tried to stay in villages when they could. Although the common people feared being heard, they believed in priestess Akiko and told her things they would not have dared to tell anyone else.

Soon, they heard rumors of a mountain that radiated holy power. When someone was ill, they would be taken up the mountain and would often be cured simply in its presence. Although Akiko had heard of several mountains housing such energy, she still wanted to investigate. Any chance was better than none, and she couldn't risk passing up even the smallest chance of finding a solution for her people. It was on this outing that Midori discovered something that would change her life forever.

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In their search of the mountain, the group had come across an ancient shrine. There was no sign of people. Almost immediately, Midori could feel a swelling of power somewhere deep inside the shrine. When she mentioned this to Akiko, she agreed that they needed to explore every part of the grounds. They entered cautiously, with weapons drawn, but found the inside of the buildings to be just as empty as the outside. In the main building, there was a set of elaborately decorated doors. At Akiko's bidding, the monks helped pull them aside to reveal a deep, dark, chamber. They lit a torch and saw that there was a passageway covered with protective seals that must have led underground. As though hypnotized, Midori walked towards the entrance.

“Midori?” Akiko called.

“We must unseal it…we must go forward,” she recalled herself saying. She would forever regret that moment. Once again, at Akiko's order, the monks tore away the seals and opened the passage. A cold breeze from within gave them all pause.

“We must go forward,” Midori insisted.

“Are you certain, Midori?” Akiko asked. The passage had to have been sealed for a reason.

“Yes,” she answered confidently. Reassured, but still cautious, the monks followed the two priestesses into the passageway. Another cold breeze doused their torches. Just when they sought to light them again, an eerie, blue glow emanated from the narrow corridor ahead. Midori's feet took her farther forward, until she entered a vast chamber made of stone.

In the very center stood a large, tall rock that was littered with patterns and carvings in an unfamiliar language. It, too, was surrounded by seals. This time, Akiko full of doubt. She hurriedly ran past the monks to stand in front of Midori.

“We cannot go farther.”

“Why?” the girl asked in a distracted voice. She saw Akiko, but at the same time could not tear her gaze away from the stone.

“I have heard of this stone, and no good can come of coming any closer to it.”

“My Lady?” one the monks called. “You've seen this before?”

“Not seen, only heard. I must have read about it in a sacred text somewhere. I cannot recall where. The only thing I remember is that there are five sacred stones that house a power to unlock the soul of a great Goddess with tremendous power.”

“Then that's perfect,” Midori said. “Perhaps she can help us overpower the Western rebellion.”

“No,” was the priestess' firm reply. “Nothing good can come of unleashing such a thing. There is a reason this is sealed away.” She put her hands on Midori's shoulders. “We cannot go any farther.”

“Forgive me, Akiko, but I must…”As though possessed, Midori shook off the older woman's hands and continued to walk forward. The group watched on in fear, unsure of what they should do. The priestess had just warned against unsealing the stone, yet Midori - a girl whose judgment they trusted just as much - insisted on doing just that. By the time Akiko made the decision to stop her adopted daughter, it was too late. Midori had pulled out her bow and shot a holy arrow through the thick bundle of seals, the force piercing the stone to the very core.

A great tremor shook the chamber. From where the arrow struck the stone, a large crack began to grow until the thing was cloven in two. Midori cried out as something sharp and silver shot forth from the rock, aiming for her chest. Just as it was about to hit her, she saw Akiko's face in front of her. Somehow, the priestess had managed to jump in front of her. She only had a split second to scream a denial before her world went dark.

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The next time she awoke, everyone was kneeling beside her. The priestess Akiko was dead. With her dying breath she had named Midori as her successor. She'd claimed that the girl was a vessel for the Goddess that would stop the spread of darkness. As she had been the trusted leader of the group, no one doubted her word. Deities and Goddess - Midori still wasn't sure if she believed in them. What deity would allow such a pure and kind soul to die for someone else's mistakes?
Akiko had become her only family.

She did not want the title of Head Priestess. She did not want to shoulder the burden of leading so many for a cause she had hardly any faith in. But, it had been Akiko's will. Her mother's will. If anything, Midori wanted to do everything she could not to disappoint her.

Over the passing of the next few years, she led her followers to help hundreds of other survivors in the region and bring them to her cause. At least there was the knowledge that she was helping in some way. She scoured all the texts she could find for more information about the stones, but each search revealed more and more disappointment. Either the information had been hidden, or it had been lost over the centuries. Whatever was the case, hope for finding the other stones was fading as her hope had once faded for finding her true past.

Her powers grew and began to frighten her. Visions of suffering and anguish often plagued her in her sleep. To her horror, the things she dreamed of almost always came true. She hated it, but there was nothing she could do to fight it. Although she loved the people that now lived with her, she wanted to be free of the role Akiko had chained her to. Despising herself for not having the courage to get away from it all and be true to herself, she continued to live the life she had awakened to, wondering when she would finally be free.

It seemed that tonight was that time.

As she said Sesshoumaru's name, that courage seemed to burn in her chest with renewed heat. She was searching for something, she realized. It was something important, and the one named Sesshoumaru was a key to finding it. With a new determination that she had never felt before, she stood and walked to her door, sliding it aside. Mayu, her guardian, looked startled.

“My Lady?”

“Mayu,” she began.

“Are you ill, My Lady? You look so pale…”

Midori shook her head. “Not at all, Mayu. I was just going to ask if you could bring me some water. I am parched.” The woman smiled brightly, eager to help in any way she could. Guilt pulled at her heartstrings, but the priestess knew that it was now or never.

“Of course, My Lady. I will return in just a moment.” She waved to the guardian's retreating figure with a forced smile. When she was certain that her footsteps had faded into silence, she retreated into her room, pulled on her warmest clothes and stepped outside. On her way out, she grabbed a bow and quiver from the wall. There was no time to take anything else. Once outside, she ran as quickly and as silently as her sandals would allow. She had no direction and no destination, but that was nothing new. For now, she wanted to put as much distance between herself and the village as she could. Morning would come soon. She would have to travel all day before she could be certain that she had covered enough ground. Only then would she stop; only then could she allow herself to fully comprehend the consequences of her decision.

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By midday she reached another village. Despite her attempts to remain unnoticed, a farmer spotted her in his field. Immediately, he recognized the famous priestess Midori. She hated to lie, but pushed aside her morals in favor of survival. After she claimed that she was on a mission of utmost importance, he gave her a satchel full of food and provisions. She declined his offer of money. No matter what her circumstances, she refused to take something she was sure she could do without. Before leaving, she asked him not to tell anyone about her mission, or the fact that he had seen her at all. She warned him that her followers may try to seek her out.

“It is vital that they do not know where I am headed. The task I have before me is a trial that I must complete in absolute solitude.”

“You saw this in a vision, My Lady?” he asked her with trusting eyes.

“Yes,” she nodded gravely, hating herself.

“You must not fear a thing, Priestess. No force in the world could make me reveal what I have seen today.” She had feared as much. The loyalty of her followers truly frightened her sometimes. To think that these people would give their lives for her - for someone whom she was convinced wasn't holy in the least. The thought strengthened her resolve to leave. The sooner she learned the truth of her existence, the sooner those people could be safe.

As she traveled, she lived off the land. It was easy enough. During her time with Akiko, she had learned the art of healing using herbs and berries. There was no plant that she could not identify. Being a priestess, she did not eat meat. The prospect of killing another living creature for the sake of a meal made her ill. Food, therefore, was not a problem. She had two water skins in her satchel that she filled up at every opportunity. She made sure to follow the path of the river for as long as possible to stay near a water source - at least until she could determine where she was really going.

Days passed and still she did not feel a calling. Somehow, when she'd left her home, she had imagined that this would be much simpler. She thought that her heart would lead her to the right place. But after several nights of dreamless sleep, she realized that she was just wandering aimlessly. Who was this Sesshoumaru? He was obviously far from human. Although the image was blurry, she could recall his silver hair and glowing eyes. No man had features like that. If he was a demon, wouldn't he kill her on sight? She was, technically, a priestess. Her kind were enemies to all demons. Would he even give her a chance to explain herself before attacking?

Even if the chances are not in my favor, I must try, she thought with determination. She decided to try praying to settle her doubts and insecurities. It had been days since she'd purified herself in water. Perhaps it was this and her negligence for meditation that was muddling her spiritual senses. She walked a little farther and found a gurgling stream. Making sure that there was no one around, she removed her clothes, donned her white bathing yukata from her satchel and - shivering - entered the cold water.

Almost immediately, her mind cleared. Inwardly, she began to chant a mantra of prayer that often helped her enter a state of “nothingness”. She focused on the words, the syllables, and the meanings of every phrase until all she could think about was prayer and the sound of it echoing in her heart. As the fog slowly cleared from her thoughts, she began to analyze her situation. She wasn't a stranger to traveling, she had plenty of food, and she could protect herself if the need arose. She was confident that her instinct would eventually lead her towards the right path. It might take weeks, but she would find her way.

I should think of what I cannot do. I should only concentrate on what I can do now, and right now I can move forward.

As soon as she made the decision, she felt much better. She opened her eyes and smiled peacefully.

Now I better get out before I catch a chill.

Cautiously, she lifted herself up onto the riverbank, wringing out the hem of her robe. It was cold, but it wasn't anything that she wasn't used to. Still smiling, she moved to a low hanging tree branch and began to unwind her sash in preparation of hanging her clothes out to dry.

There was a sharp sound from behind her - the sound of a branch breaking beneath someone's weight. With a gasp, she whirled around, instinctively lunging her weapon on the ground. With a speed gifted by adrenaline, she notched an arrow and pointed it towards the source of the noise. During the past few days, she had not come across any beasts or demons. Perhaps tonight her luck had run out.

Another branch snapped. She could easily detect the heavy demonic aura of the intruder now.

“Show yourself, demon!” she shouted defiantly, refusing to give into her fear. There was more rustling before a figure stepped into the moonlight. Her eyes widened. It was a man. He had silver hair and beautiful, golden eyes that gleamed in the night. As he stepped forward, her eyes traveled upward to see a pair of white ears on his head. His look was one of disbelief. Could this be the man she was searching for? The hair was the same, as were the eyes. Her dream image had never been very clear. How many demons could possibly have such features? Something about him was different though. He did not possess the grace and ethereal beauty that the man in her dream did. Uncertainly, she lowered her arrow.

The figure spoke. “It can't be…” it mumbled in disbelief.

“Sesshoumaru?” she asked cautiously. The figure didn't answer; instead, he prepared to leap forward. Interpreting the movement as an attack, she cried out and released her arrow, knowing that it would miss. She didn't stop to see if it had. Her mind had gone blank. All she could think of now was getting away. In a blind panic, she allowed her feet to take her on a mad dash through the forest.

As she ran, she sensed the aura of the demon falling behind. That was hard to believe, considering that demons were much faster than human. She had shot him though. Had the arrow hit its mark? Something inside her - a part she didn't recognize - hoped that she had missed. Her breaths came in loud, strained, bursts. She felt branches and thorns cutting at her skin. Rocks and broken wood dug into her bare feet.

Run. Run! Run far away!

As she moved forward, the cold air but into her flesh, seeming to cut her to the quick. She stumbled a few times, but kept going. Dimly, through the rushing of blood in her ears, she heard the sounds of him following her.

I have to stop. I can fight him. If I just concentrate, I can purify him.

No! You must run! Run away!

It was fight or flight - a natural response. Yet in that moment, nothing felt natural at all. Reason was a startled bird trying to fly away. She desperately clung to it, refusing to let it take wing and abandon her.

“Wait!” his voice called out to her. “Please wait!”

He must have been out of his mind to think that she would listen. As she processed how ludicrous his request was, she tripped over something and fell to the ground - hard. In some far away corner of her mind she felt the skin on her knees and elbows shredding. Unfazed, she pulled herself to her feet and dared a glance backwards. To her horror, she saw that he was closing in. The bird of reason finally slipped through her fingers. He pupils dilated until her eyes were nearly black. She turned and kept running, a horrified shriek escaping her lips. She lost all sense of time and sound. Her vision narrowed to the path before her until she could barely see that either.

Then she collided with something and was nearly knocked backwards with the force of the impact. A tree? A boulder? Something cold and rough scraped the skin on her cheek. Senseless with terror and the instinct for survival, she felt she would vomit. The impact had dazed her, momentarily disorienting her. She nearly lost her footing. In fact, she would have if the tree hadn't wrapped its branches around her to keep her steady. She looked up with wide eyes and nearly fainted from the sight.

There was no doubt now.

This was the man she had been searching for.

“Sesshoumaru…” she whispered in a constricted voice that was sore from her screams.

Now was the moment of truth.

She was either saved, or cornered by two very powerful demons.

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To be continued…