InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Little Red ❯ Why I hate this night ( Chapter 1 )

The telephone…before the ringing was like a shriek in the quiet darkness. Now the insistent clang was no more than a soft buzz, muffled by the thick mahogany doors separating his room and his brother's office. It unnerved him that he could barely here the telephone ring during these times.

They had only one phone, and his brother had always kept it in his office, between both their rooms. The ringing stopped, and he felt misery seep into him when he couldn't here his brother's soft, stern voice through the wood.

 

He sat back, listening to his own breath coming in and out, his heartbeat thudding softly in his chest. The sounds seamed to drown out everything else. Maybe it was because he was concentrating on them so much, but they were the only familiar thing now. The only thing he knew would never change during these times.

 

His brother had taken him in after his mother died several years before. Sesshoumaru had first rejected him, placing the boy in a small room on the first floor, a servant's room with only a bed and dresser. Than barricaded himself in his office on the second floor and did everything else to keep him from looking at the child who had no right to resemble their father.

 

Inuyasha was so miserable. In a day he had lost everything, his mother, his friends and his warm home, taken to this place, trapped in an unlocked windowless room between the kitchen and first floor office. At first he tried to befriend his brother, a man who had never so much as sent him a picture. He would go to the morning, noon, and evening meals, hoping his brother would join him, but Sesshoumaru always took them in his office, where he could get work done. Inuyasha always ate very little, hating having to sit at the big oval table with the servants staring at him, waiting for him to make any kind of request. He had tried to befriend them, but they all had this weird belief that they weren't supposed to talk with him, so he ate alone, and walked through the big house alone, and slept in a dark empty room without any toys.

 

He began feeling worse and worse. Several weeks had gone by and he started skipping meals. Asking for something when he felt hungry, but he never stepped into the dinning room again; he just couldn't sit there with everybody looking at him while he ate all alone. He never went up to the second floor, or the third. He had tried getting up early to greet his brother when he left for work of meetings, but he always only saw a glimpses of him as he headed out the door, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to wake so early, no matter what time he want to bed. He was becoming more and more tired and ate less and less, simply because he feel like leaving his dark little room to head down to the kitchen and ask for a sandwich or crackers.

 

One day he woke up more exhausted than ever, his hearing and sight had diminished somewhat and the room seamed even quieter and darker than before. He sniffed the air, wondering if the cook had began making breakfast yet or if it was still night.

 

He couldn't smell anything, which was weird since the room itself had a rather dry musty smell. He liked the smell; it reminded him of under his bed at him. A place no one bothered to clean, but didn't catch anything that would make it stink. It made him sneeze sometimes, but that was fun.

 

Throwing back the covers he pulled on the warm robe he had found in his room one day when he came home from school, as well as a large closet over in the corner filled with brand knew cloths. He was excited; believing that his brother had thought enough about his to buy him knew cloths. Actually, he had sent a servant out for them, the lady, a large bubbly woman who came over only a few times a week to check on him and clean his room, had giggled excitedly when he tried on the outfits, saying how he reminded her of her brother when he was little.

 

Stepping out of his room he gazed out the window down the hall, seeing that it was almost noon. He sniffed the air, wondering why the scents of the house were so faint. That's when it hit him. Tonight was the dark moonless night. When he and his mother would sit on top of the roof and watch the stars because they would be shining brighter than ever and he wouldn't have all the strange scents and noises of the night to distract him. It was the night when he looked like his mother.

 

He wanted to run back into his room, hide away until it was over, but he couldn't stand the thought of staying in that dark room while his hair changed and everything became so distant. He wouldn't have his mother there to cuddle him when the burning started and his ears shrunk, when his hair darkened to midnight and everything became blurry. It was so scary.

 

Instead he ran up the stairs. He and his mom had always had a door and ladder in the attic that led to the roof. Maybe this house had one too. He could sit up there and wait until the stars came out. He was careful not to step on the carpet of the second floor, there was something forbidden about that floor; like it all belonged to his brother. No one had ever given him any restrictions, never said where he could or could not go. But there was always that feeling, like he was still a guest in this house, like it didn't want him here.

 

Finally he reached the top of the stairs. Looking around he saw that the third floor wasn't like the first and second. The first floor was a big room with doors on each wall and a hall leading to the front and back doors. There was the kitchen, his room, and the dinning room, than a large room for when people came over. What he saw of the second floor was just a long hallway with three doors.

 

But the third floor was different. It wasn't a long hallway but not a big room either. There was a door you had to open to get it to a room with three other doors that led to three separate dark hallways. He was about to go through one when in the second hallway a door opened sending a yellow light onto the wall. Afraid Inuyasha closed the hallway door and hid inside the third hallway. He heard the click of the latch and peeked through the slightly opened door. There, walking out of the second door was his brother.

 

Inuyasha was startled; he had thought his brother would be a large, angry looking man with narrowed eyes and a disgusted scowl for everything. But he wasn't. He knew he was his brother because he too had pretty silver hair, longer than Inuyasha's, almost mid back. Inuyasha had known he was tall, because he sometimes saw his brother leave out the door, just small glimpse of silver way up, almost touching the top of the door. But his brother wasn't a large angry man; he was thin, but not too thin, with wide shoulders and long muscular arms. He had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a book under his arm. A romance novel, he recognized it because it was one his mother liked too.

 

Inuyasha smiled, his brother liked to read. He watched his brother head down the stairs, making soft thumps until he reached the second floor, where he padded across the hall and shut himself away again in his office.

 

Slowly Inuyasha kept out from behind the door, shutting it softly behind him before slipping into the second hallway. The door his brother emerged from was still slightly ajar, yellow light spilling out in a thin, straight line to pierce the darkness. He hesitated for a moment, than curled his fingers around the knob and pulled back the door.

 

Light flooded his vision, a warm yellow light from a large chandelier hanging from the high ceiling. There were several large windows with large curtains covering them. The sun was up high and if they were drawn at this time of day the harsh light could hurt some of the furniture and, as he looked around, a lot of the really old books.

 

He was standing in a library, not a particularly big one, a large room with five equiangular walls covered in books. There was a long ladder that swung around to reach the ones at the very top. Two couches sat facing the fire place which had a small, dieing fire enclosed in glass to keep the smoke from escaping into the room and damaging the books. There was no comfy chair to recline in, no table to set the books on, just those two couches facing the fire and an old piano off in the corner. It looked like it hadn't been used in forever, but he honestly didn't think his brother had time to sit down and enjoy playing a song.

 

He walked over to the piano, running his fingers along the polished keys. Nothing in this room had any dust; of course his brother's sensitive nose would make reading a dusty book impossible. The room was warm and inviting with its simplicity. The lack of desks and tables made it looks comfy, like a place one would go to enjoy company or solitude.

 

Tracing the bindings of several books he sounded out the titles, loving the way the long foreign words rolled off his tongue without difficulty. He never had problems reading, his mother read to him since he was a baby and he just picked up on things, catching words and phrases that he remembered, and than recognizing them when he saw them elsewhere. Soon he was reading whole chapter books by himself, and had skipped several grade levels because of the skills he learned from reading.

 

Picking up one of the books he walked back and sat on the smaller couch, enjoying the feel of the fire through the glass. The book was old, it's writing style complex and way too detailed for a ten year old, even a demon one. But Inuyasha read the passages out loud without difficulty. It was a European tale of a young woman whose father was taken prisoner by an evil mage and she consults a nearby witch who helps her.

 

Soon Inuyasha was lost in the world of dragons and magic, witches and knights who guard castles from attacking armies. He didn't notice when the glow of the sun behind the drapes began to fade or when the room suddenly became cooler as the fire died away completely, the last of the red coals covered in deep grey ash. He was completely captured in the book, held hostage by the beauty of the green hills and the chill of the dark dungeons that held the poor farmer whose daughter traveled to help him in the company of a witch and dragon.

 

He didn't hear the click of the latch or the soft gasp of whoever stood in the doorway. It wasn't until the burning in his veins started that he noticed the time. He looked up at the covered windows, seeing the darkness the hid behind them. The sun had set and the dark moon had risen. The burning intensified and he had to bite his lip to keep from crying out. Setting the book down on the plush brown couch he laid his head back, taking in deep breaths of air, trying to calm himself. He hadn't eaten anything yet and felt very weak. The exhaustion that clung to him through the days increased without his demon blood to give him strength. Humans just couldn't go so long without eating.

 

There was a shift of air and he realized someone was next to him. Struggling for breath he opened his eyes. His brother was kneeling beside him. He gasped, trying to back away, but the pain in his head began and he felt his ears shrinking, his vision darkened for a moment and he knew his eye color had changed from hazel to violet. The sharp details of the room vanished and he was left with a blurry image. He wrapped his arms around his stomach, he felt very dizzy. Scooting away he tried to stand, unable to look at his brother's stern, heavy lidded gaze. He shouldn't have come up here; he should have just stayed in his room where he belonged. As soon as his feet touched the floor the room spun, as though it didn't want him to leave the comfort of the couch, but he couldn't stay.

 

He reached out for the armrest to steady him but missed and found himself the victim of cruel gravity who pushed his frail body hard against the floor. The library grew darker, like somebody had turned off the lights, than he realized it was his own eyes that lost focus. He felt a hand, hesitant but warm and gentle, brush against his face, as though it didn't know what to do. He wanted to apologize to his brother for coming here, wanted to cry and say he was sorry that he was such a nuisance. But he couldn't find the strength to get the words out, couldn't push against the darkness that was so thick and heavy. He closed his sightless eyes drifting off into the emptiness that occupied his dreams.

 

When he woke up it was sunny out, he knew because there was a window with the curtains open and sunlight was pouring into the room, straight on his face. Startled he sat up, pushing the covers off him and curling up as far in the thick soft pillows as he could. The door too the left opened and he stared at it as it slowly opened, allowing entry for his brother.

 

There was a slight startled look in his narrowed eyes when he saw Inuyasha sitting up in the bed, shaking with fear and fatigue, but it was gone in an instant, replaced by something colder, harder. Inuyasha had never had the chance to look into his brothers eyes, even last night when he had stared directly into them he hadn't been able to get a good look at them.

 

Last night….Oh no! Inuyasha lowered his head. He had never had any restrictions, no one ever told him he couldn't go there, but would that sound like an excuse. He was a guest, nothing more. He had no right to go wandering around the house.

 

“You haven't been eating.” Sesshoumaru spoke in a low, unwavering tone that made Inuyasha feel like he had done something terrible.

 

“I'm sorry.” He whispered.

 

“Why?” Inuyasha looked at his brother, startled that he had asked. “Why did you neglect yourself?”

 

“I…I don't know.” Inuyasha stared at his hands, curling them around each other over and over in different positions. “I just didn't feel hungry sometimes, and sometimes I was so tired I couldn't get up to go eat.” Tears were collecting at the edge of his vision and he didn't even bother to hold them back, remembering how dark and empty everything had felt.

 

Sighing Sesshoumaru leaned back beside him. Inuyasha looked startled, this was the longest amount of time he had ever spent with his brother, a man who had never showed himself to his younger sibling, never asked after him, never spoken to him. Here he was, this mysterious person who was supposed to look after him, and he was leaning back on some comfy pillows, looking at him with a mix of worry and amusement, guilt and astonishment.

 

“I guess it's my fault.” He said in his low voice, but the unyielding tone had vanished, replaced with something akin to resignation. “I've neglected my responsibilities. I'm the one who should be taking care of you, not the staff. I know what its like to have to eat by yourself at that big table.”

 

“It's lonely.”

 

“That's why I usually take my meals in my office; I can get work done to. I guess when you came here I didn't see any reason to break my habits. I apologize.”

 

“I'm sorry.” Sesshoumaru looked a bit startled at this. “You shouldn't have to change things for me. I'm sorry I'm such a bother.” The tears were falling now, and he brushed irritably at them with the back of his hand. He shouldn't have disrupted Sesshoumaru's life.

 

In an instant his hand was enclosed in a larger, paler one. He stared up at his brother. “You aren't a bother, don't even think that. I was the one who wasn't doing what I was supposed to. You are my brother, I should have been there for you long before this, but I just couldn't see you, because visiting you would mean facing your mother, the woman who my father loved when he was supposed to love my mother. And I couldn't bear that.”

 

He pulled Inuyasha close, comforting him like a big brother was supposed to. “But not anymore,” he said. “You are my brother and I'm going to take care of you from now on. No matter what.”

 

 

There was a knock on the door and Inuyasha looked up to see his brother standing in the doorway. When he had dozed off he didn't know but his brother had finished his conversation and had changed out of his sleep cloths. It was obvious, he had to go somewhere.

 

“Hello little brother.” Sesshoumaru greeted. He loved saying it, like it was some kind of prize saying. “Little brother” The best two words in the world. Inuyasha smiled up at him, his midnight hair shifting around him as he sat up. He had been laying upside down on his bed, letting his head fall over the edge. “I didn't wake you did I?” He asked in his low voice.

 

“Naw, I was just dozing. Anything would have woken me.” He looked tiredly over Sesshoumaru's coat and umbrella. It must have started raining.

 

“That was the doctor. Kaede has caught something from one of the children.” Kaede was a sweet old woman who ran an inexpensive children's hospital founded by their father. She was very loving and spoke gently to all the children, calming them when their parents had to leave. She was the one Sesshoumaru had called when Inuyasha collapsed that first night, assuring him that his brother was only exhausted from the change and lack of food. When the office she was working for had forced her out because of her age Sesshoumaru hired her at the hospital. She loved being able to care for the children and feel useful. “It's only a small fever but I think it would be best if someone were there to take care of her. Tomorrow you can come over too.”

 

Inuyasha felt the sting of those words, though they weren't meant to hurt him. He wasn't aloud outside during his human time. Sesshoumaru had a lot of corporate enemies, and Inuyasha had always been a target. Kidnappings, stalking him, following him home from school, threatening what few friends he could make. Sesshoumaru had taught him self defense, and every other form of fighting he knew, but if they knew time of vulnerability there was nothing he could do.

 

“Yeah.” His voice cracked. Why did his life have to be so difficult? That day, when his brother promised to look after him he had imagined a life full of love and warmth, and he had gotten it, to a point. Moving to the room on the second floor, sharing meals, replacing the ugly long table with a small circular one they had built themselves, reading together in the library, watching the stars from the roof. All of it, but there was always that threat. The caution they had to take when they went outside. The cold distant look his brother would give him in public. He had to adjust to those, to understand that they were meant to protect both of them, but it still hurt.

 

He lay back against the bed, listening as hard as he could for his brother's footsteps, cursing the soft carpet that muffled them to soft padding sounds that were quickly lost in the sound of his own heartbeat. Sesshoumaru always stepped a little harder on the steps than he needed to during these nights, closing the doors with a little more force, just to show Inuyasha were he was. Inuyasha knew there wasn't any brother better than his, no person alive who cared more about him.

 

When he heard the door close loudly down stairs he stepped out of bed and headed up to the library, intent on playing a few songs on the piano before reclining on the couch to read a book he recently found in the attic. Old and dusty, perfect for this night.