InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Lost Hopes ❯ Chapter 10

Author Notes: I must warn you, that if you're not of a strong heart don't read! But if you do decide to take plunge, don't grumble or curse for the story was meant to go this way and I wont have it any other way.

And oh… before I forget, boxes of tissues to all, you'll need it.

Thanks to all those who have review, you people rock my world!

Chapter 10

`He seems to be glowing, even more beautiful than I remember, that blush on his face. I could just gobble him up. But that look on his face, it doesn't suit…' Kouga thoroughly pushed the thoughts aside. He was here to make Kagome his own…forever, not t* *gle at the inu. Swiftly moving towards his “intended” he took her hands in his in the usual customary way. Beside the two, the inu stiffened.

“How are you doing Kagome?” he inquired, looking into the chocolate orbs.

Kagome smiled nervously, “Fine…hehehehe… Kouga, just fine and h-how are you?” Inwardly, she was trembling, she knew of the strong sense of smell the inu and ookami demons possessed. She may have fooled Inuyasha somehow, but if Kouga caught of a whiff of the `fun' she had been having, she was done for.

Kouga could sense the tension in his woman, yet he chose to ignore it, brandishing it as mere nervousness and moreover he was struggling to fight with distress and anger the hanyou was radiating. He managed to grin.

“I am…uh… good.” He replied, trying to calm his screaming instincts, it was harder than he had thought. “Oh Kagome you look absolutely beautiful today and smell lovely too. Although a bit strange…” The last sentence was muttered under his breath, but Kagome caught it all right and froze, she was dead now.

Noticing the strange look on her face, Kouga immediately regretted his words. It was not proper to say your future smells strange; it was quite insulting even in demon standards. “… No, Kagome it's wonderful.”

Kagome let out the breath she had been holding for so long. Apparently, the strong perfume, she was smart enough to bring with her, did the job.

“T-thanks. Um Kouga”

“Hai?”

“Do you have a particular reason for being here? Not to be rude or anything but I have to get back to my world.” (A/N: Here Kouga knows of Kagome's world)

The false grin faded from his lips instantly. “Well, Kagome, I was here to…uh… to take you to my caves.”

“To your caves? Why?” Kagome was sweating slightly. `This is not good. Inuyasha help me you damn dog, don't just stand there like a frozen idiot'

He had to do it, it was now or never. Ignoring all his instincts, his youkai and his senses, he set to do the job he had been so carefully planning. He cleared his throat. “Kagome, I am here to take to back to my cave. I have decided to take you as my mate and so…”

Before he could finish his sentence a loud metallic noise was heard, followed by a small whimper and a choked sob. He whipped around, only to find the retracting form of the hanyou, as he ran in the forest, the scent of salt and distress heavy in the air. The world slowed down as he stared off at the path Inuyasha had followed. He didn't even acknowledged the squeak Kagome gave or the curses she threw at the hanyou, for damaging her cycle furthermore. He felt numb, as if something was torn out of his body, the emptiness washed over him like a tidal wave. His youkai screeched at him, his senses overloading, as he fought to keep control over his urge to go after the hanyou. What was happening to him? Why did it matter how the inu felt? He could make him bow and scrap in front of him if he wanted, so why was it tearing him apart to feel the inu's pain? This was his chance to get what he had been craving for, to take Kagome as his mate, but why did it feel so wrong? He needed answers, he needed…

“Kouga? Kouga!” Kagome's voice broke the haze and Kouga looked down, gazing numbly at the miko. “That damn Inuyasha broke my cycle and left me here. Could you please help carry this to the well? I really got to go.” Seeing the stupefied _expression on Kouga's face, she added suggestively, “We will talk about his when I get back. Please Kouga listen…”

However, Kouga was listening to none of her bantering, his only focus was on the inu. He wanted to go to the inu; it was the right thing to do….

“Kagome?” The girl was still going on about her metal beast. “KAGOME!”

“What?”

“Wait here. I will go see where the mutt went”

“But what about…”

He cut her off. “Just wait here. I'll be right back.” With that, he stormed off into the forest, finally giving into his youkai for the first time in these few weeks, leaving a stunned Kagome behind.

Kagome scowled. “Oh just great. Leave the poor girl alone. Argh men!” She stood up, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation. “I swear by my life Inuyasha, just let me get my hands on you, I am going to sit your ass to seven hells for this. MY life just sucks.” She stood there fuming for a moment, before determination set in. She was not going to loose her date and a particularly great night with Houjo for these stupid demons, she was going to the well alone. Leaving the cycle behind, she began walking. “Maybe I'll take the short-cut, that way I'll reach there in time.”

Still muttering under her breath about stupid brooding dogs and crazy wolves, she followed the less travelled path to the well.

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Tears fell freely from the golden eyes, as trees and forest flora wheezed past. Feet never touched the ground, as a certain distraught hanyou almost flew through the forest hell bent on getting away from the pain and betrayal. He had hoped, perhaps even held a tiny kindled flame of believe, in the deepest darkest place of his heart, that maybe… maybe he would be accepted… Maybe the wolf had come for him. He had waited, trying to forget all that had been done to him and dared to hope that possibly Kami-sama had looked down upon him. Yet the cruelty of fate still managed thwart his little wish to not to be alone.

`Why… why me? Kami-sama… what have I done to deserve this?'

When he had seen him coming, he had stood there in all desperation for the wolf to talk to him, perhaps even have coax him into a verbal battle as usual, however he was never acknowledged. Kouga had ignored him as if he was a nothing more than dust lying by his feet.

`No, it was wrong me to expect anything from him. He would never feel anything for me, I should have known that.'

Sorrow gave way to anger… anger at himself, for being born, for being the object of betrayal, yet again. Inuyasha stopped, the flight taking his its toll on his weakened body. However, there were no more tears to spill, just plain burning anger and blinding pain. He sat down on the ground, exhausted, as he panted hard. Why was he so damn weak?

Shaking his head he looked around, mildly surprised at finding himself in familiar grounds near the well.

`Why do I keep coming here?' He crawled on all fours, before sitting down heavily against the enchanted reservoir. Water would have been good, he was perched, but there was no stream or lake nearby. Therefore he sat silently, closing his eyes; allowing his breathing to settle at a normal pace and the mild nausea that had crept up to recede.

“Inuyasha?”

Golden eyes snapped open at the voice, a flurry of curses running his through mind for the bloody weak senses. He looked up tired but warily at the figure that stood in front of him blocking the rays of the sun.

Kouga skidded to a stop near the inu, well aware of the tension that hung in the air. The hanyou was angry and in great distress, but he was not here to ponder or argue on that, he simply needed answers, most importantly, why Inuyasha had behaved in such a manner and why he smelled so different, pleasant yet different.

“Inuyasha…” he began but was soon cut off.

“Please…” Inuyasha began wearily. “Haven't you had enough Kouga?”

Kouga was a bit surprised at the lack of epithets or salutations for the matter. The alpha in him was not happy.

“Why do you seem to pursue me when you have a `mate' to take care of?”

“Inuyasha…I”

“Aren't you satisfied yet, or are looking for some more ways to humiliate me?”

“Would you listen?” He tried to get the hanyou's attention, but he was too far-gone to give him any chance.

Inuyasha stood slowly, grunting from the effort. He wouldn't misbehave with the wolf, the omega in him did not give the permission to so, but he was not going take this shit anymore.

His voice seemed calm but had a tinge of sadness in it. “How much do you want before you are satisfied Kouga? I am shunned by the only person I could call my family, not that it matters. My friends are more inclined on pitying me than trying to support me. The one I used to love hates me for my behaviour. I am nothing now; you have reduced me to nothing. You've taken a way all I had thought I had, my pride, my honour. Aren't you happy with that?”

Anger was raising its head again with each word; it was hard to control it. “I assure you Kouga, I can do absolutely nothing to hinder your decision now. Go live with Kagome, I don't care anymore but please stop bothering me. I am simply tired.” Tears threatened to fall, so he turned away from the cerulean gaze, staring at the nearby woods, his fingers rolled up in fists at his side.

Kouga stood there frozen, he should have been happy… he had got he wanted… he had broken the hanyou… but somehow Inuyasha's word seemed to cut through him, made him feel the one emotion he never knew he was capable of feeling… guilt. He didn't like the feeling and that Inuyasha was hurting, he had to remedy that and soon. Before he could decide on a proper course of action, he reached forwards wanting to grab the hanyou's arms.

“Inuyasha, please listen to me?”

The hanyou flinched away from his touch and turned around, anger evident his eyes. “Don't touch me!” He yelled, ignoring all his omega instincts to grovel. “Don't touch me Kouga, I am not some fuck toy you can play around with and then throw away when you're done. I have feelings you know. Why are you even here? Go to Kagome, the one for whom you have done so much. I can't give you anything more, go.” He shouted, before his voice dropped to a whisper. “I don't want to.” He held his hands protectively around his abdomen, wanting to protect the unborn child from this world of mockery and betrayal. He would die before he let anyone touch his child; it was all that mattered to him now, nothing else.

Kouga's eyes narrowed, several questions popping up in his mind. Why was the hanyou so insistently pressed in behaving this way? Had he forgotten the rule of the pack? Clearly he was agitated, but not by his presence, the hanyou was hiding something, what? And what was this damned smell he was emanating, that had prevented Kouga from being threatening to the inu? He sniffed the air more vigorously, trying to place the scent.

The hanyou was still shooting remark after sarcastic remark his way, while suspiciously moving backward. As if he was scared, scared of what the ookami might discover.

“What are you hiding Inuyasha?” He asked moving towards the hanyou. “Tell me, why has your scent changed? What is wrong with you?”

The inu stiffened, his arms tightening around his stomach. “No-nothing, get away,” he warned with a growl.

Kouga ignored the growl, taking a few more steps. He hadn't failed to notice that Inuyasha had gone from a crazy yelling lunatic to a scared little bunny in moments and this spiked his suspicion.

Yellow eyes flashed in fierce protectiveness. This pup was his and he was not going to let the wolf take it too. The strong urge for the safety of his unborn child gave him immense strength and he turned picking up a heavy boulder nearby, threatening to hit Kouga if he got any closer. “Get away from me Kouga, I'll not let you have him. I have gone through enough, but I'll not let him suffer too.”

Kouga was beyond stunned, what had gotten into the inu. “What are talking about Inuyasha? Put that thing down, now!” he commanded crisply, but then softened his voice. “Inuyasha, please… Put that down and then we can talk.”

“No! There's nothing to talk! I swear Kouga, if you get near, I'll hurt you.” The hanyou was trembling under pressure, but still held his ground. He was not going to endure anymore.

“Inuyasha…”

“SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT! SIT!”

Kouga watched in horror, as the rosary around the inu's neck glowed into nasty red, before pulling the hanyou into the ground. A sickening and painful scream that followed, scaring the birds off the nearby tree, as the boulder slipped off Inuyasha's hand and landed on his back with a thud.

Kagome appeared from the woods, fuming, as she stomped towards the crater in which Inuyasha lay, struggling to breathe under weight of the heavy stone.

“That's what you get for leaving me. It was long coming, for your stupid behaviour. I think this will teach you to act more nicely towards your friends and fellow demons.” Then she turned towards a pale and stunned Kouga, smiling. “I am sorry Kouga, I hope he didn't hurt you.”

Kouga just gaped at the women. How can someone be so cruel? How can one treat a member of her pack in such way? True, he witnessed Inuyasha being sat a million times, but this… this was disgustingly horrid. A doubt about his choice of mate began to creep into his soul.

“Kagome…how… could… you?” the scent of blood was heavy in air and by the looks of it, Inuyasha was seriously hurt. He moved quickly, removing the boulder. Inuyasha whimpered in pain but had lost consciousness, his hakama soaking in blood.

Kagome followed his gaze. “Oh never mind about him, he'll recover soon enough and he deserved it. For the past few days he had been nothing rude and whimsical, I was searching for a proper chance to do this. Good, I got the right opportunity and it saved you from breaking your neck,” she smiled. Apparently she didn't notice the damage she had caused.

Kouga was speechless. He had done all this for this…this girl. What was he thinking? Disgust and hatred was beginning be all the feeling he had for this woman?

Kagome was already climbing down the well. “Okay Kouga, I have to go back. I promise we will get together when I get back. Goodbye,” With that, she disappeared in a hal* *f blue light, never once looking back at her listless friend.

Another whimper turned his attention to the inu in his arms; blood had begun pool around him. Kouga was scared, the hanyou had gone deathly pale and he could not shake off the feeling that something was horribly wrong. He quickly picked up the injured hanyou into his arms; he stood up, the wind forming around his feet, before he rushed towards his home, worry and foreboding eating away at his heart.

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~*~At the Wolves' caves~*~

Kaiya was pacing in front of the cave entrance. It's been long since Kouga had left, Ginta had informed her of all that had passed between them and she was worried about her brother. Kouga could be pretty stupid when he wanted to and end up getting hurt in the process.

“He'll be back, don't worry.” Kaiya turned to tribe's healer and her aunt, Kohana, standing beside her. She smiled warmly at the young demoness, “He's always been like that, but I know he will not do anything stupid.”

“Hmm… but Obasan, I can't seem to shake off the feeling that something bad is going to happen. I hope Kouga is all right.”

“I am sure child, he is all right. He is a smart and strong wolf.” Kohana assured, though inwardly, she too felt as her niece.

At that moment, Kaiya's sharp eyes caught the whirlwind coming and she sighed in relief, running forward to meet her brother. However, she stopped midway watching as Kouga materialised in front of them with another in his arms, a hanyou, she assumed from the look. Her brother looked worried and when he came nearer she caught the heavy scent of blood.

“Obasan, help!” Came a desperate request.

The healer pushed past Kaiya, approaching Kouga “Inuyasha?” she was surprised to see the hanyou in Kouga's arms, obviously injured. She wanted to inquire about that but this was not time.

“Bring him in.” Kohana gestured.

Kouga nodded and followed the healer, along with Kaiya trailing silently behind him. Walking into the healer's chamber, Kouga was asked to put Inuyasha on a fur-coated platform before he was asked to wait outside.

The wolf leader was reluctant to leave the inu, but was swiftly shooed away by his aunt. He walked outside, giving his sister a weak smile.

“What are you up to brother? And who is that demon?” Kaiya asked pointedly.

“That is Inuyasha, he was the pack leader to Kagome's gang,” he replied, rubbing his forehead, a headache was coming. It was long day, but somehow, he knew there was more to come.

“Then why he is here with you and he doesn't smell like an alpha, why and…”

“Oneesan this is not….” He tried to counter, but was cut off.

“Oh no you don't, this is the perfect time.” She had enough of this; she was getting the answers… now. “Don't you think I smell your essence on him? You've marked him in some way, didn't you? He is the one you've been brooding over the past week.” She was breathing hard. No, she didn't mind his choice of mate. Whether male or female, the royal wolves never interfered with the choice of one's partner, as long as the union was honourable and of the same status. And though she had no doubt about his breed, his unique scent confirming of it, something was terribly wrong about this hanyou. “What has happened to him?”

Kouga turned his head away. “Speak to me!” she growled.

The wolf leader knew that there was no escape from this; Kaiya was going to tear him apart if he didn't reply. So he took a deep breath and began, even though, knowing the answer may get him killed. “Oneesan…I… he is my rival, he and I both love Kagome, or I thought I did.” He looked at Kaiya, gulping under her stern gaze, however she remained silent, urging him to continue. “Well… a few days ago, I was pursuing Kagome during the mating season and he thwarted my plan by sending her home. I was angry, so I kind of…” he trailed off, unable to voice what he had done. Now that he thought about it, he felt no better than Kagome. He had hurt Inuyasha as much as she had, she may have caused him physical injuries but he knew he had done more. He had completely destroyed an innocent life, ripped it of its desire to live.

“What did do to him?” she asked through pursed lips.

“I…I coupled with him…but-”

“But what Kouga? I am loosing my patience here.” Kouga flinched at the anger in her voice. No doubt she must have put tw* *r two together. She was just waiting to hear it from him.

“Instead of marking him as my mate I… I placed a possession mark on him.”

“WHAT?” Kaiya couldn't believe her ears. Nobody in their tribe had ever done it. How could Kouga stoop so low? Was he really her brother, the one she loved and grew up with?

“I… I was planning to get Kagome so I thought-”

“You thought that if you remove him from your path you will get her easily.” She finished it for him, her face was red with anger.

“How could you do such a thing Kouga? Have you forgotten about the rules of the pack? Did you?” she demanded.

“But I-” Kouga tried to reason. but was cut off yet again.

“You what Kouga? You think it is honourable to win a fight like that? I am ashamed to even call you my brother,” she spat

“Oneesan!”

“Don't call me that, you've lost the right to call me your Oneesan. We didn't raise you like that Kouga. Have we not taught you of a fair fight? If you really wanted this human, you would have faced Inuyasha like a man, defeat him and place your claim on the ningen, but to demean another for own personal good in this way is simply…unforgivable.” She screeched not paying attention to the wolves, demon or animal, who walked past them, giving them strange looks.

Kouga sighed. He knew he deserved this and more. “I know I am wrong Oneesan. Believe me when I say this. I haven't had a moment of peace after that, I had been thinking about him day and night. I guess I care for him more than I know.”

Kaiya remained silent, trying to get a grip on herself. She knew it was not right to deliver any sort of judgement or punishment to Kouga, the elder and her parents would deal with that. She made a note to send a wolf to the mountains as soon as possible, mother must know of it.

“I am greatly disappointed in you Kouga. I regret that I was of one the few who had sided in your decision to come and live here. We thought we needed to give you space and that everything would turn out fine, eventually. But you still managed to put us in shame, your stupidity has led to this.”

Kouga nodded, he was disgusted with himself and his actions. “I am sorry Oneesan, I truly am. For what I thought to be gold, turned out to be dust lying at one's feet and one I thought was dust, turned out be…” He slammed his fist on the stone wall. “My instincts have been crying out to me to take him as my mate, but I chose to ignore it. I chose Kagome over him, even after he confessed he loved me; I threw him away. I think I began to love him too, but was too stubborn to realize.” He turned away, hiding the tears welling in eyes, but Kaiya caught the scent anyway.

She sighed, sliding against the wall and sat heavily on the ground. She knew Kouga was telling the truth, but she had no say in this matter.

“So how did you managed to get him all battered up?” she asked in a more even toned.

Kouga, who managed to get a grip on his emotions, turned and sat down beside her, his hands supporting his head.

“Kagome did this.” He could feel Kaiya's shocked eyes on him, but didn't look up. “Inuyasha has this magic rosary around his neck, with which she keeps him in a leash. He was trying to threaten me with a boulder, when she used its magic and he landed on the ground with the boulder on his back."

Kaiya was flabbergasted. “And you're thinking of asking her to mate with you?”

“Yeah, I am complete moron ain't I? I only seem go after the wrong thing”

“Always” She replied, with a sad smile.

As that moment the door opened to the healer's room and Kohana walked out. They hurried up to her and she gestured them in, a grave expression on her face.

They entered to see the hanyou lying on a makeshift bed, warm sheepskin covering his naked form. The healer gestured them to take a seat in one corner, before she settled down before them. Kouga and Kaiya, both were anxious about the well being of the hanyou and it was Kouga who spoke first. “How is he doing?”

Kohana sighed, “I don't know.” At the questioning looked directed at her she continued, “What had happened to him, had managed to leave him with a few bruised ribs and more,” she didn't know how to say this.

“What more?” Kouga felt stones settle in his stomach.

Kohana stared hard at the wolf lord. “He seems to be one of the rare demons who care bear children and he was pregnant but…”

Kouga's eyes were wide in horror now, he was beginning to sweat. There was no doubt that this child was his. “But…?”

“He lost it,” was a quiet reply.

“What?!” Kouga turned to the sleeping form of Inuyasha, laying a few paces away, the heartache and guilt growing ten folds. `So that was what he was trying protect, what he was hiding. He was trying to protect his pup, our pup.'

 

“No!” He buried in face in his hands.

 

“Hai Kouga, whatever had injured him managed the destroy the foetus as well. He was too weak to protect the pup, perhaps if he was stronger and mated…” She looked at him pointedly, informing him that she knew everything. “…we could have saved the pup, but bearing the mark of possession left him weak and vulnerable. I am sorry Kouga, you've lost your pup, supposedly your firstborn.”

Tears were streaming down his face as he sat there, frozen, unable to react to anything. Kaiya too was weeping silently. She felt the pain Kouga was in and it was all because of his irrational choices.

“Kami-sama, what have I done?”

A low moan turned their attention to the bed, where Inuyasha was coming awake. Kouga wiped his tears and rushed to his true intended, with Kaiya and Kohana close behind.

Aureate eyes opened slowly, slightly glazed, as they took in the surroundings. “Where?” he rasped, his senses were not working properly. His eyes stopped at the wolf and he stiffened. “Kouga?”

“I am sorry Inuyasha, I am so sorry,” his eyes began to turn misty again. “If only I had been there for you.”

The inu's brows furrowed. “What are you talking about?” he looked around frantically.

“You are injured. Kagome sat you and….” Kouga trailed off.

“Injured?…” He closed his eyes, as he began to remember what had occurred. His hands travelled under the furs to stomach and his eyes snapped open “My pup?” he looked at Kouga, worriedly.

“My pup Kouga, why can't I feel my child.” Kouga turned away, unable to gaze at him. Kaiya stepped forwards, her eyes full of sadness.

“You must rest Inuyasha, you were injured pretty badly,” she tried to settle the hanyou, who had began to struggle.

“No! What happened to my pup, why can't I feel it? Damn it!” He tried to sit up, ignoring the stabbing pain in ribs and backside.

“Inuyasha, I am sorry.” Kohana replied sadly, “but the injury led to an abortion. You lost the pup, I am sorry.”

Inuyasha sat frozen, his eyes wide and beginning to water. He looked from Kohana to Kaiya and finally turned to Kouga, unbelievingly. Then he laughed, “No, you're joking right. You're trying to punish me for my behaviour, right?” His voice had a hint of desperation in it. “Please tell me you're joking.”

“No Inuyasha, they're not joking.” Kouga answered, hugging him tight. “I am so sorry. I should have been there for it and you, I…”

But Inuyasha was hearing none of it, he struggled violently against the wolf, clawing and tried to loosen his hold. He was sobbing hard now.

“No! You're lying. Let me go! You hate me that's why you're doing this to me.” He accused.

Kouga held onto the screaming, clawing hanyou. His back was burning from the wounds Inuyasha was making; yet he didn't let go. Kaiya choked back a sob and ran out of the room, while Kohana stood there, helplessly watching the scene.

“Let me go! I can't loose my pup; he's all I have! Please!” Inuyasha screeched, before he started hyperventilating, but the struggling didn't cease.

“Inuyasha!” Kouga turned worriedly to Kohana, who rushed to his side.

“Inuyasha, please try to calm down,” she pleaded, but the hanyou was too gone to acknowledge her words. “You are hurting yourself.”

“No…my…pup…I… can't… loose,” he tried to desperately protest, tried to move away from the wolves, but the exhaustion and darkness took over his senses first.

Dark lashes fluttered close, hiding the dying suns in them, as his body fell limp in Kouga's arms.

Kouga could only watch, berating himself for what his foolishness had claimed. There was nothing left, only an emptiness that threatened to engulf his very soul, but he didn't give up. At the precise moment, as he placed Inuyasha's limp form on the bed and moved aside to let Kohana work on him, he promised himself, that no matter what, he would remedy all the catastrophes his ill-judged choices and daft pride had caused.

`I promise Inuyasha; I will give you back what you've lost. I promise Inuyasha, I will do whatever it takes to return to you your pride; your happiness and I will not rest till I keep my promise'

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Author Notes: Please Pay ATTENTION! The author has currently gone into hiding for the fear of flying flames coming her way. She may not emerge for a few days, hence, reviewers are asked not to waste their time with the firey objects, however, they are advised to wait for the chapters to come, for things are going to get better, henceforth.

Thanks to Linda for being a great beta!

Inuchanpuppy

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