InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Lost Hopes ❯ Chapter 13

Author Notes: I am back again. I have begun to work lost hopes again so hopefully you will see more chapters in the near future.

 

Beta Thanks: Mollie and Linda for doing a wonderful job and working so hard.

 

Reviwers Thanks: I can't you people enough for the lovely reviews. Thank you so much. I love you guys.

 

 

Chapter 13

 

Kouga sighed as he pulled the warm blanket over Inuyasha, currently curled up in a tight ball on the ookami's bed in a restless sleep. It has been a month since their return and Kouga had been totally dedicated to bring inu back to his normal self. However, He was finding the task quite difficult though not impossible. While seeming to recover physically, Inuyasha showed very little mental convalescence. He was still insecure, usually subdued, lost, and scared like a lost puppy having little regards for his life.

 

Deeming Inuyasha's current condition, Keiko had asked the inu to be shifted to Kouga's room so that they may spend more time together and so that Kouga could aid in his recuperation as well as his own redemption. However it seemed that the hanyou had entirely given up on being happy again. He rarely talked or, to Kouga's disappointment, never cursed as before. (The poor ookami found out that he missed the lively bantering they occasionally had.). Food was hard enough to get down his throat and he never slept peacefully, his cursed past haunting his dreams. If Inuyasha kept this up, he would soon wither away. Kouga shuddered at the thought.

 

“What should I do?” Kouga wondered out-loud as he collapsed in front of the crackling fire over the warm pelts. Kouga had tried everything short of sex to help the inu but all his efforts had gone down the drain. Not that sex and mating had not been on his mind but Inuyasha was in too fragile a state of mind to accept the offer, so he was asked to wait. He had even insisted the Inuyasha should associate with more of their kind, to get to know them and spend time with them would perhaps ease his troubled mind but the once fearless hanyou looked so terrified at this idea that he instantly rejected the idea. Inuyasha was just not fit to mingle with anyone currently. However, all hopes were not completely lost. Although Inuyasha didn't want to see anyone else, Kouga could see that he hadn't entirely rejected the company of his mother, his sisters or Kai and to his relief welcomed their company.

 

`Hmmm…' he sighed. `Thanks to Mi-chan (A/N: Kouga calls Akemi, his little sister, Mi-chan) I was able to see him smile a bit today. Oh how I miss his voice… che! I hate my life and myself.”

 

A pitiful whimper turned his attention to the bed where Inuyasha was trying to bury himself in the furs, his hands clutching the blanket in a death grip as he twisted, possibly in the throws of another nightmare. Kouga rose and slowly made his way back to the bed, laying beside the hanyou and pulled the frail body in his arms, stroking the inu's back gently to sooth him. The whimpering eased slowly and Inuyasha settled in the warmth with a grateful sigh, surrendering to a somewhat peaceful slumber this time.

 

Kouga smiled as he gently brushed off the stray strands of silvery hair of his face. “At least you've begun to accept me… a bit.”

 

True, the tension between them had eased down quite a bit and though Inuyasha was still unsure of Kouga's true intention, he seemed to relax in his presence. Kouga was somehow beginning to like this; to care for someone, to provide. It gave him an odd sense of peace, one he couldn't describe. And his feelings for the inu were getting stronger and stronger each day. Initially he only possessed a firm sense of protectiveness but now it was changing into something else. He ached when he was away from Inuyasha and revelled in his presence…

 

`Perhaps this is what love feels like…'

 

A soft hue of red coloured his cheeks as he glanced at the angelic face in his arms. “I love you.” He confessed, trying to feel the words against his tongue.

 

“I love you,” he said again to the sleeping inu “so much”. This time, a warmth spread through his being at the sincere declaration making his inner wolf wanting to wag his tail in happiness. He couldn't suppress a snort of amusement when he found that his tail was indeed engaged in a happy dance behind his back. He turned back to face the inu yet again caressing a pale soft cheek gently, “You look terrible, puppy… but we can surely remedy that, ne? You just need some serious cheering up. I sure wish Grandma were here…” he sighed. “Although she's more dangerous than hundred of that houshi-friend of yours combined, she could manage to cheer you up. Wonder when Otousan and she will be back. You need her energy now.”

 

He pondered over it for a moment. “However on second thought perhaps it is better that mother and the others including me help out with that ne…? Grandma can be sure scary sometimes and you don't need to be agitated now. Once you feel a little better we can…” he blushed harder now.

 

Kouga had been thinking for a last few days of proposing to truly make Inuyasha his mate. He had even discussed the matter with his mother and elder sister. Both had agreed to it but had asked to wait till Inuyasha was a bit better. Both Kouga and Keiko feared Inuyasha's decision if he took to it this hastily but Kouga was growing impatient by day. He knew of the benefit to becoming soul mates, the closeness of body and soul which would help Inuyasha to heal more quickly and wanted to hasten it. But Keiko's stern instructions and his fear of harming Inuyasha psychologically inhibited his actions in that direction.

 

A soft kiss was placed on the inu's forehead before Kouga wrapped himself protectively around Inuyasha pulling the blanket fully over them. He would settle for this now… rest. He would deal with everything else later.

 

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Meanwhile at the village Kaede sat outside her outside her hut looking up at the sky. She had finished her daily rounds of the day and was relaxing. Yet her mind was not at ease. It had been a month since she had seen any sign of Kagome or Inuyasha. Both had left the hut, Kagome to travel back to her home and Inuyasha to just accompany her. Kaede had not wanted the frail and weak hanyou to go alone but Kagome's insistent pleading had coerced the dog demon to do so.

 

“Kagome, ye can act so childish sometimes,” she sighed. “Why are ye taking so long to return? What have ye done to Inuyasha?”

 

Inuyasha had not returned form the forest that day. Kaede feared that Inuyasha might have collapsed due to his weak condition and had wanted to send Sango and Miroku after him but the heavy rains had prevented them to go in search of their friend. Finally when the rain stopped, both humans had used the fire-cat to search every inch of the forest but found no trace of the inu.

 

Flashback

 

Kaede hurried as Kirara landed on the ground a few feet away from the hut.

 

“Have ye found any trace of him?” she inquired hastily trying to control her breathing.

 

“No Kaede-sama, we found nothing.” Miroku reported dejectedly. “We searched every inch of the forest, but Inuyasha was nowhere to be seen. I wonder…”

 

“Perhaps I can help…” A small voice suggested from behind Kaede. Shippou stepped up with a hopeful look in his eyes. “Maybe I can catch his scent. Although I think he must have left with Kagome. He likes it there.”

 

“No, I don't think so…” Sango contemplated. “Last time I checked they weren't on best terms.” she murmured to herself bitterly.

 

“However, it's not a bad idea to take Shippou with us.” Miroku suggested.

 

Sango and Kaede agreed to it and soon they soared into the night sky in search of their friend as Kaede looked up hopefully, wishing them to do their best.

 

“Kami-sama please take care of the child, he has no one.”

 

End Flashback

 

Kaede sighed as she watched little children play at a distance, their innocent laughter echoing through the village. “I wonder how his child is doing?” she wondered silently. “He should have given birth by now? If he really is in Kagome's world, I wonder how that child is reacting to the news.”

 

That day the group had returned yet again with nothing, the rain had washed away any scent of the hanyou making it impossible for them to locate his position. Since then Kaede had cursed herself a thousand times for giving into Kagome's wishes to let the hanyou accompany her. “If something happened to ye, Inuyasha, I shall never forgive myself.”

 

“Lady Kaede,” The old priestess smiled ruefully as the taijiya settled herself beside her. “I am sure Inuyasha is all right. He has to be.”

 

“Looks like ye are trying to convince yourself more than ye are trying to convince me, child.”

 

Sango smiled, “Perhaps so. It's been so long and Kagome has not yet returned and there is no way we can know the whereabouts of him unless she returns. Truly Inuyasha can be a blockhead sometimes. He had to go with Kagome then at least he should have informed us beforehand. He was not in a position to just go off running anywhere like that. Baka inu.” she huffed making the old miko chuckle softly.

 

“Hai, with that I must agree. We can only wait for them now. I do wish Kagome-chan returns soon.”

 

“Yep, and then I'll give Inuyasha a piece of my mind!” Shippo remarked as came to stand in front of them hands folded over his chest resembling Inuyasha's usual pose.

 

“Hai” Kaede agreed. “You do that, child.”

 

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Teijo strolled causally through the corridor of the castle deep in thought. A scowl stretched on his face as thought of the new addition to their family. He had been growing really tired of it.

 

“How can Keiko-sama allow such things?! A filthy half-blood dirtying our abode is… unacceptable. Che! And the way they just flock around the whiny cry-baby, comforting and caring for him… ugh… just sickening. How can a male demon behave like this? And to think he is the son of that wretched Inu no Taisho. My nephew can be thick headed at time, he had always been the rebellious one, but what Keiko-sama and the girl and even my own son are doing is beyond my imagination.” He sighed.

 

“Even the elders and the others see no harm in this. `As long as he is of royal blood', they say. Che! Royal blood my foot. Those inuyoukai are nothing but a bunch of wimpy, arrogant, selfish, smug, sneaky, plotting bastards. Their father was a worthless ruler… falling for a mere human and dirtying his pure bloodline... The son is a whiny brat begriming our home. If only brother or mother would have been here.” He contemplated on it for a moment before he sighed again.

 

“Then again, Aniue is not so strong against Keiko-sama and mother. Well, she tends to be more on the senile side. Wonder how she would have reacted to him…” He violently shook his head as he neared his destination.

 

“No, no, no, I can't let myself be sidetracked. If not one demon chooses to do something about this mess, I am the only one who has to take the responsibility. I will get rid of it, and as soon as possible.”

 

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Inuyasha shifted slightly, trying to feel the lost warmth that managed to calm his senses every night. Feeling none, he blinked his eyes open and sighed. The scent of the wolf was all over the bed and him, and he unconsciously snuggled closer in the furs, trying to take more of it and sighed. This had become his every day ritual; Kouga would snuggle up with him at night, easing his pains and chasing away nightmares and leave before he was awake. He was still uncertain of the wolf's intentions and he was scared to believe in him, but somehow welcomed the warmth at night and his company. He knew that Kouga was doing all he could to make him whole again, giving him love, and making up for the damages he had caused, however he didn't know whether he could ever regain himself.

 

Pushing the blanket back, he sat up pulling his knees to his chest and resting his chin on them, shivering slightly from the chill in the air. It was snowing outside and he could sense it. His senses were coming back slowly and he was healing but still the loss of his child was eating away at him. He looked around again, slowly taking in the simple yet elegantly decorated chambers of Kouga. He was beginning to like here… a bit. Kouga's family was nice and his mother… she always gave him an odd sense of comfort. She gave him back the warmth he had lost after the death of his mother. The demoness was always kind to him and looked after his needs. It was as if he was beginning to have a family…

 

`No, no, no.' he shook his head. `It is all a fake. Soon everyone will leave me again. I will never be accepted. I will…'

 

A knock on the door brought his broke his disturbing thoughts and he looked up as it cracked open a small head peeked looking around. Emerald orbs settled on him before he heard a squeal. “Nii-san is awake!” was a happy exclamation before a weight settled on his lap and he was promptly hugged. “Ohayo! I am so happy to see nii-san.”

 

“Mi-chan, please release Inuyasha. You are choking him” called a voice from the door and he was released immediately as Akemi offered a shy smile triggering a small one of his own.

 

“I am sorry, nii-san” she apologised along with a small kiss on his cheek.

 

“Its okay.” the small smile on the hanyou lips widened a bit.

 

Kaiya smiled as she entered her brother's chamber with a tray in hand. Her little sister was truly a miracle worker, she could even the break the thickest barrier and the proof of that lay in front of her. It was only her innocent and exuberant nature that managed to bring a smile on the inu's face these days. And she was grateful for it.

 

The alluring aroma of a delicious breakfast wafted through the room, eliciting a noisy growl from Inuyasha's stomach, indicating he was a bit hungry. Okay, maybe a not just a bit hungry. Last night he hadn't managed to eat much, therefore he was feeling rather hungry at the moment not to mention Keiko-san's special hand-cooked meals were extremely delectable.

 

An embarrassed blush spread on his cheeks as Kaiya's smile widened. “Looks like your appetite is improving. Good!” She settled the tray on the bed in front of him before settling herself on a nearby chair. “Now eat up. Akemi, please extract yourself from his lap. He has to eat.”

 

Akemi pouted a bit but obeyed. “Eat nii-san, you are hungry.” she pressed as she watched Inuyasha a bit reluctant although the noises his tummy made spoke otherwise.

 

“Hai” Kaiya smiled. “Mother prepared this especially for you.”

 

Inuyasha nodded slowly, picking chop sticks and began to eat.

 

“Mother rarely cooks. You are lucky, the last time we had such a nice meal was when Akemi got accepted as a healer.” Kaiya observed to which Akemi nodded furiously.

 

“You can…” Inuyasha began but was promptly cut.

 

“No, no. Mother will have our hides if she learns that we ate from you. Besides, Mi-chan was whiny enough to get her to cook some extras for us.” Kaiya smiled.

 

“Hey!” Akemi protested but was promptly ignored.

 

“Now finish up, those are mother's instructions. After you're finished we will visit her and you will have your regular check-up.” Kaiya added, making it known quite clearly that there was no escape and they were not certainly Inuyasha to starve to death.

 

So Inuyasha obeyed, slowly finishing his meal as the two demonesses shared various things from their everyday life. The two demonesses then waited patiently while bantering among themselves as Inuyasha took a short bath and dressed.

 

“Okay then, let's go.” Kaiya urged. “After that I'll introduce you to my mate. You'll like him. He is Kouga's friend and the general, although I wonder how he managed to secure such position.” She sighed, slumping slightly. “He is no better than Mi-chan here and is an outrageous flirt. But I am thankful that he restricts this nature to grandma only. Then again grandma is no better herself. She is quite a character you know, beware of her.”

 

Inuyasha listened quietly to the bubbly demoness, nodding occasionally, his eyes glued to the floor to avoid the looks of other tribe members and his ears lying almost flat on his head to avoid any whispers of the others he passed. He was so absorbed in avoiding the others that he didn't see the concerned look that passed between Kaiya and Akemi.

 

They approached the healing chamber, where Kai and Keiko welcomed him warmly. The door closed behind him, Kaiya quickly ordering the guards outside to keep the prying eyes, particularly of one annoying demon, out of the room.

 

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It was almost early evening by the Inuyasha had been released from the Keiko's chamber. He was really feeling a lot better; today he had learned that Keiko-sama indeed knew his mother and that she was there when he was born. She and his mother became close friends during their stay at his father's castle. Keiko had told him how his father had saved their clan and how his mother had welcomed them to their home providing for the injured and caring for the children. He was shocked to know that in reality people existed who knew of his past and his father and he soon found himself inquiring about his heritage and his parents, to which Keiko was more than happy to answer.

 

They had taken their lunch together, Keiko reciting tales of his past while he, Kaiya, Kai and Akemi listened, awestruck of Inuyasha's true heritage. By the end of it Inuyasha had allowed himself a smile. It was good to know someone who knew his parents so closely. And although his memory of Keiko was hazy, her scent reminded him of the peace and warmth he always felt when he was close to his mother. He was truly grateful for it.

 

When the hanyou had asked permission to retire for the day, Keiko had asked him to wait for Kouga, who in the absence of his father, was taking his place to attend an important meeting, but the inu refused. Keiko then offered the choice of either herself or Kaiya to accompany him back (Kai and Akemi had already fallen asleep listening to the stories.) however, he insisted that he could do it by himself, for he didn't want to trouble them anymore. They had already given him much there that he could have asked for. He didn't want to burden then anymore.

 

Although unsure, Keiko finally surrendered to his wishes allowing him to return alone. Paying his thanks and respects Inuyasha walked out of the room towards own chamber failing to notice a shadow following his movement from afar.

 

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Kouga sighed as he walked out of the meeting room, stretching widely. Today was a really tiring day and he was already running a little late for his `talk' with his inu. He had made his mind up. He was going to ask Inuyasha to mate with him today and he was going to convince the inu to say yes.

 

Kouga smiled devilishly. Oh yes, he still had a few tricks up his sleeves to make Inuyasha agree to it. But first he had to get out of the chill and take a hot bath.

 

`Damn… it' already started to snow. Stupid winter... This is precisely why I hate this place. How mother and father can stand it, I'll never know.” He hurried to his room and sighed in relief when he found Inuyasha had yet not retuned. This would give him some to `prepare'. He grinned widely, the memory of a writhing, moaning inu under him making heat shoot to his veins and a familiar twitch in his groins. Inuyasha was going to be his tonight and he was going to make sure that the inu suffered no more after that.

 

“I will make him the happiest mate in the world and he will forget all this pain.”

 

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo

 

Inuyasha walked through the corridors, thinking about the information he just received. He was overwhelmed to know more about himself. For so long his past remained in the shrouds of darkness but it calmed him to know that he was equally loved and adored by both his parents. Perhaps somewhere he found a little light in himself knowing he was not a born cast-out, and that his father loved him just as much as his mother. He was born of pure love and adoration and was accepted due to his heritage, and as long as his father was alive, he and his mother had been paid the proper respect. It was only after his father's death that he and his mother's life hardships began, however he found some comfort in the knowledge that he was a splitting image of his father, both physically and emotionally, something which even his brother could not inherit. Perhaps that was one of the reasons why Sesshoumaru hated him so much.

 

Kouga's scent was evident in the air as he neared the chambers and somehow he found himself to be happier than worried for not having to return to an empty room. However before he could slide the door open his wrists were caught in a death grip a hand clutched over his mouth before he was dragged elsewhere. He tried to struggle, but he was still too weak to fight against his assaulter.

 

He was dragged into an empty corridor and thrown mercilessly against a wall. A whimper escaped his lips as he slid down the wall, landing in a heap on the ground.

 

“My, my, I didn't know Inu no Taisho's son could be such a weakling.” a gruff voice mocked and he looked up trembling at the two sapphire hawk-like eyes boring into him from the shadow.

 

“Who… who are you?” Inuyasha choked, trying to ignore the pain that had welled up in his chest and back. `Damn, I'm so helpless…' He blinked a couple of times to make the form of a very tall male.

 

“I'm no one a lowlife such as you has the right to know. However, I live for the well being for this tribe and your presence is currently causing us much trouble.” Teijo spat as stepped into the light.

 

“What do you mean?” Inuyasha glared as he struggled to stand up, supporting himself the wall.

 

“Naïve, aren't we?” Teijo scowled before his eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Or are you playing the same game you played before to earn sympathy?”

 

“What are you talking about? Let me go, you bastard!” He yelled as he tried to move away from the ookami, but his path was immediately blocked.

 

“Oh dear! Afraid that I have found out your little secret, have you?” he sneered. “You came here all beaten and injured, whining and crying about your condition so That Keiko-sama and the others would take pity on you and keep you here.”

 

“I didn't come here…” Inuyasha began but was cut off.

 

“Oh no, that's not what happened! Kouga, my stupid, thickheaded nephew brought you here. Is that what you want to say?” the glare he received made him smirk. “If you're smart enough to bait Keiko-sama and the elders, Kouga is not such a big feat. He always was an idiot but let me have you know that I shall never allow a half-breed to soil our abode. You may have earned their kindness, but I can see through your façade. Half-breeds like you have no place to go, they are accepted nowhere so they are always suckers for power and acknowledgement. You are no better, like them you've laid a very good plan to seduce the prince of the tribe and earn your way inside the group.”

 

“I never…” tears were beginning to form in his eyes, old wounds and new quickly opening, making his heart bleed as Teijo delivered one blow after another.

 

“You are the little lost doggy everyone wants to take care off. Don't give me your pathetic excuses. I know people like you, your father was a fool and you're an even bigger one if you think that you'll find the respect and honour you want in here. You are merely seen as a misfortunate creature and pitied, as someone would do to a stray dog on a cold night. No one will ever allow you as a respectable member of the tribe. The proof of it is the mark you bear.”

 

Inuyasha gasped as he moved back a step and Teijo smiled. “Looks like you have forgotten about the mark you bear, your scent clearly indicates that you're nothing more than a play tool for my dear nephew. One he would throw away as soon as he is done it with. Kouga has always been like that, nothing ever interests him for long and others… well, they too will grow tired of your whining and then you'll have no one to turn to. What will you do then, hmmm?”

 

Tears slid freely down his cheeks now. Yes, the ookami was right. No matter what, he was still Kouga's possession. Nothing more….

 

Teijo smiled in satisfaction as he watched uncertainty, sadness, and doubt creep on the hanyou's face. `Perhaps getting rid of him is not as hard after all.'

 

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo

 

Kouga swore that he had heard the noise of the door opening yet as he waited but no one came in. first he had dismissed the thought thinking it was probably his mistake but something tugged at the back of his mind.

 

“Inuyasha usually comes back by this time. What the hell is he doing with mother for so long?” he wondered out loud as he paced back and forth in front of the bed. “Damn he is late. We have to talk. Perhaps I should retrieve him from mother's chambers myself.”

 

Agreeing on his decision he opened the door when he caught Inuyasha's scent. His brow furrowed in confusion, as he looked this way and that to find the hallway entirely empty. He took a few more deep sniff startled when the distinct scent of an annoying wolf caught his nose. “What was the bastard doing here? His chambers are in the opposite side of this wing, and he didn't even attend the meeting today. What is that baka up to now? Chikuso!” he set out to find Inuyasha and the bastard and to beat the crap out of him if his mate was harmed in any way.

 

“Kouga?” the wolf quickly turned to see his mother walking towards. “Did Inuyasha come…?”

 

“Mother, Inuyasha hasn't arrived in my chamber and I caught Teijo's scent mixed with his. That bastard must have taken Inuyasha somewhere.” He quickly informed before following Inuyasha and Teijo's scent with Keiko close behind.

 

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo

 

“Stop it! Please…!” Inuyasha shouted as he clutched his hands over his puppy ears.

 

“What, is the truth too much to bear? I would say if you have even an inkling of pride in yourself, you'll leave this place at once, dog. Or have you even sacrificed your pride for some food and shelter? Che! Even prostitutes have more honour than you….”

 

“No… NO! STOP IT! I bet you…!” Inuyasha trembled as Teijo caught his collar bringing him face to face with the enraged ookami.

 

“Then leave! And let us have some solace, you fi…” but before he finished himself he was pushed back unceremoniously making him release the hanyou.

 

“BASTARD!” Kouga yelled before he launched a punch in Teijo's face sending him crashing him into the nearby wall. “How dare you, you conniving scum? Who are you to say what Inuyasha is when you yourself have carried out every criminal act there is?” Growled as he picked up the recovering wolf by his collar and punched him again. “You are only here because father pities you, had it been in my hands I would have had you executed a long time ago. Don't mistake our pity for kindness, Teijo; you have no right to decide anything. And the next time you try something I will take personal pleasure in…..”

 

“Kouga!” His mother's voice made him stop. “Where is Inuyasha? And what are you to doing to Teijo-san?” He turned to see the hanyou missing from the spot.

 

Kouga looked around bewildered, before he turned again, fangs bared to his uncle. “Mother, this bastard had been accosting Inuyasha with his words. He was the one who thought that Inuyasha was not worthy enough to be living here.”

 

Teijo smirked through his pain; one of eyes was shut but the other only bore malice. “So why have you still not marked him as your mate, Kouga?”

 

“That's none of your business. I swear Bastard I'll gut you alive, you die…”

 

“Kouga! Stop it!” Keiko reprimanded again. “We have to find Inuyasha first. Don't worry, we will deal with him. And once we're through with him he'll wish he was more dead than alive.”

 

The sheer malice and unbound anger in her eyes made Kaiya who had just reached the spot shudder in fear. She had never seen her mother like that and this was not going to pretty. Anyway she turned to the task at hand.

 

“Kouga, I've just heard that Inuyasha ran out of the castle. What's going on? And there… Kouga? Wait, Kouga!” but the wolf prince was already in his way after the inu.

 

“Kaiya, summon the guards! We have a vicious offender to deal with” Keiko ordered her eyes shining with fires of hell.

 

“Hai, mother!”

 

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

 

Snow fell heavily from the sky, covering the ground in a blanket. The winds were picking up as a lone inu ran through the blizzard, freezing tears streaming down his cheeks.

 

`That wolf was true; I'll never be more than a possession to him. I don't want to stay there. I'll only bring more pain. Its better I disappear.'