InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Lost in a Dream ❯ Chapter 1
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: inufan625 
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha nor will I make any money from this work of fiction
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Supernatural / Romance / Psychological / Hentai / Drama | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 11.06.2014 | Pages: 13 | Words: 8.3K | Visits: 1.4K | Status: Completed
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha nor will I make any money from this work of fiction
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Supernatural / Romance / Psychological / Hentai / Drama | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 11.06.2014 | Pages: 13 | Words: 8.3K | Visits: 1.4K | Status: Completed
His head was aching as he sat up and looked around. Thick black
hair hung in front of his eyes and he frowned. For some reason he
felt like that was somehow wrong. He tried to stand but sat back
down as his head spun.
"Are you well?" a pleasant female voice asked.
He looked up at the woman who had two young children with her and wondered why his first instinct was to assess if they were a threat. She was beautiful and there was something so familiar about the concern in her eyes. He almost smiled as the little girl peeked at him from behind her mother.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I just woke up here and my head is killing me.”
The woman stepped closer and knelt before him. “You do not appear to be injured.”
“I don’t think I am,” he offered.
“My name is Kikyou, might I have yours?” she asked.
He frowned. “I-I can’t seem to remember it, or much of anything really.”
“In that case perhaps you should come home with me,” she told him. “You can share a meal with us and perhaps when you have rested your memory will return. Sango, Kohaku, gather our things and carry them so I can assist our guest.”
He let the woman, Kikyou, help him to his feet. “You don’t have to do this.”
She smiled at him. “Good fortune was with me this day as one of my snares caught us a rabbit. It would be wrong not to share that good fortune with you.”
Kagome just shook her head. “I don’t, there has to be something. He can’t die. He can’t.”
“If there is a way to break the spell up on him, then it is beyond me,” Kaede told her. “We can give him water, but eventually even he will die from lack of food.”
Kagome looked to Miroku with tears in her eyes. “Maybe there’s something you could do?”
“If it were within my abilities, you know that I would help him,” he told her. “He has been like a brother to me.”
“He can’t die,” Kagome said again, mostly to herself. She lifted his head into her lap and gently rubbed his ears. “He’s only like this because of me, because I was too weak and too slow. There has to be a way to save him.”
The others watched with heavy hearts as Kagome’s tears fell in a steady stream, landing on the hanyou’s face and in his hair. Of course they would all feel the loss of their hanyou companion but none of them would feel it as profoundly as Kagome. Perhaps was worse that as a hanyou he would mostly likely live in this state for a very long time, prolonging everyone’s suffering, including his own.
“I feel you, in here,” Kagome said quietly, holding one hand over her heart. “If only I could reach you, tell you what happened, then maybe you could help free yourself, but I don’t know how.”
“So, where is your husband?” he asked.
Kikyou looked into her bowl. “Several winters ago he was taken ill and never recovered.”
“Shit, sorry,” he said quickly.
She shook her head. “There is no need for an apology. It is only reasonable that you should wonder.”
He took a bite of his food to avoid having to think of something else to say. He felt like an asshole for bringing up something that was probably painful for the woman who had been so kind to him, not to mention that the kids probably didn’t enjoy talking about their dead father too much either.
When they were all finished Kikyou took the bowls and rinsed them clean before tucking her two children into bed on one side of the small fire.
She looked at him a deep blush staining her cheeks. “I am sorry I do not have another mat or even a blanket for you.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he told her. “You’ve done more than enough. I’ll be fine.”
She nodded and then slipped under the thin blanket atop her own sleeping mat before turning away from him to go to sleep. He closed his eyes and let his head rest against the wall behind him. For some reason the position felt familiar to him and he knew that he wouldn’t have any trouble sleeping as he was. He hoped that when he woke his memory would be returned or at the very least his headache would be gone.
Sleep did not come as quickly as he would have liked, and as he sat their dozing in the small hut it he heard a soft female voice calling out to him. The sound of it was so familiar and he could almost see the face that went with the voice. Her eyes, they would be a stormy mix of blue and gray and she was crying. Why did that make his chest hurt? He really wished that he could remember something, anything about who he was.
“Perhaps you should lie down and try to get some rest,” the taijiya said.
She shook her head. She couldn’t leave him, not even for a minute. Something tugged at her heart, and she gasped. What if she hadn’t been dreaming? What if she had actually been inside InuYasha’s head and had been hearing him in whatever dream he was tapped inside? If she had almost reached him once, then she could do it again. They were connected in a way that went beyond what could be explained, of that she was certain.
“I think I can reach him, Sango,” she said. “I think I almost did. I heard him. He was apologizing for something. I have to try.”
“Are you sure that is wise?” Sango asked. “What if you get trapped as well?”
Kagome looked her friend in the eyes. “That is a risk I have to take. He would do it for me.”
Kagome closed her eyes and held the sides of his head with her hands. She took slow deep breaths inhaling through her nose and exhaling through her mouth and sought out her center, the place of warmth and light within her where she carried her power. She reached for him with every bit her heart and her soul and let her love guide her to him.
Sango’s breath caught in her throat as Kagome’s head fell back and her eyes flashed sliver. She watched as it fell forward again and then went to find Miroku and Kaede.
He was still struggling to get used to the name he had finally chosen for himself, when it became clear that his memories were not going to be returning. It still didn’t sound quite right, but the name evoked good feelings within him for some reason and so he had decided to take it for his own.
Kikyou smiled at her son and then turned to him. “Thank you, both of you. This will make a fine meal.”
“Kaa-san, I’m going back outside to play,” Kohaku announced as he ran out the door.”
Kikyou turned away from him. “Thank you Miroku-san for taking the time to teach him. I must admit it has been nice to have man around these last few weeks.”
He felt his face heat. “Keh, it’s the least I can do, and he’s a good kid.”
“It is more than that,” she said glancing at him, her cheeks pink. “You have made it feel as though our family is whole again.” She looked back down at the fish. “I do not mean to presume, but I thought perhaps you might wish to be so?”
He swallowed hard. “Kikyou-san, I…”
“Forgive me,” she said quickly. “I should not have said anything.”
He watched her as she prepared the fish. It wasn’t that he was opposed to the idea of staying with her, becoming her husband and helping to raise her children, but that the offer had taken him completely by surprise. For some reason in his heart, having a family felt like a dream he was certain would never come true. He walked over to and knelt behind her.
Her hands stilled and he took a deep breath before resting his hand on her shoulders. He knew he would be a fool not to take what she was offering that he could have a good life here with her and her children. She was beautiful and kind and he could do far worse. Maybe it was time to accept that he might never remember where he came from, that it was time to move on and start living his life.
“I would stay with you, if you would have me,” he told her gently. “And I will take your children as my own, if they would have me as well.”
She put down the small knife in her hand and turned to face him. She smiled softly as he laid his hand against her cheek. “Husband.”
He looked into her eyes and for a moment she wasn’t Kikyou, but someone else. Her eyes weren’t the rich brown he had grown accustomed to but were instead the same steely blue that haunted his dreams. Her hair darkened to the color of midnight and her features softened somehow. He blinked several times and the vision cleared, leaving only Kikyou looking at him expectantly.
He offered her a soft smile and then covered her mouth with his own.
“I was so close,” she said. “For a second I was sure that he saw me. I have to try again.”
“Kagome, child, perhaps you should rest a bit first,” Kaede suggested gently. “It is well past nightfall. I know you wish to help him, but you will be able to do nothing if you do not see to your own needs.”
Kagome looked down at him and then back at the elderly miko. “Maybe I could sleep, just for a little while.”
Kaede offered her an encouraging nod and Kagome gently lowered InuYasha’s head out of her lap and onto the floor. She looked over at her sleeping bag, but couldn’t seem to make herself leave his side, so instead she lay down beside him, taking his hand in hers and closed her eyes.
When Sango and Miroku came in a short time later she was already asleep. They sat down around the fire with Kaede and looked to the elderly miko for answers.
“Do you really think it’s possible for her to reach him?” Miroku asked.
“They are connected by the red thread,” Kaede replied. “I have felt it with my power. She is using it to find him, but the spell is working against her.”
Sango reached out and lifted a small section of Kagome’s hair between her fingers. “What do make of this?”
Kaede looked at the now pale strands and then back at the fire. “What she is doing should be impossible and the toll on her body great.”
“Will she be alright?” the slayer asked.
“I hope so,” Kaede replied.
Of course he hadn’t been fool enough to comment on the thickening he had noticed around her middle, and somehow that she might be carrying had never even occurred to him. A small voice inside his head tried to tell him that this was wrong, that this woman wasn’t supposed to be having his child, but the largest part of him swelled with joy.
“Are you not pleased, husband?” Kikyou asked her voice uncertain.
He blinked and looked down at her. He moved his hand to caress the swelling that was now obvious to his eyes and smiled. “Keh, of course I am. I’m going to go catch some fish. I’ll take Kohaku with me. You need to eat well, now, for both of you.”
She blushed prettily. “As you say, my husband.”
He called Kohaku over to him and together they headed for the river. The boy wandered further upstream and he smiled. He didn’t know what his life had been before, but the life he had now was as good as any that he could have dreamed up for himself, and yet there was still this nagging voice telling him that something was missing.
He felt someone’s eyes on him and turned. Standing just a few steps away was a beautiful miko. His eyes met hers and his breath hitched. He would have recognized those eyes anywhere, and there was something so familiar about her that he had to know who she was. She ran over to him her expression desperate.
“You have to fight this,” the miko said. “You have to come back to me, please.”
He grabbed the miko’s arm. “Who are you? Why do I know your face?”
Before she could answer Sango ran over and tugged on his sleeve. “Mother needs you to fetch some water.”
He looked back and his hand was empty and the miko with the familiar face and storm cloud colored eyes was gone. He frowned but followed Sango back to the hut to get the bucket so the he could fetch the water for Kikyou.
“Please Kagome, you need to rest,” Sango said.
“I can’t,” she replied. “The longer I stay out the harder it is for me to get back to him.”
“At least drink some water and eat something,” Miroku told her as he offered her a bottle of water and one of her energy bars.
She took them and devoured the bar in four quick bites before drinking down the entire bottle of water. Once that was done she placed her hands back on the sides of his head and closed her eyes.
Sango and Miroku watched her with worried expressions. Kagome had been at it for days for the most part without sleep or food or water and they could see what she could not. What had started as a single thick shock of white hair was spreading and soon her hair would be more white than black.
As if having been called by his thoughts she appeared near the tree line. This time he ran after her as soon as he saw the flash of red and white. He had to talk to her again; the miko with the grey eyes that haunted his dreams. There was something about her that made the empty ache inside him abate and he had to know who she was. He found her at the base of the sacred tree.
She turned to face him. “InuYasha, I need you to fight. I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I love you. Please come back to me.”
He stepped closer to her, drawn forward by some invisible force. He knew it was wrong to feel so much for this woman whose name he didn’t even know. He had a good life here with Kikyou and her children. She was his wife and she carried his child and he owed her his devotion and yet, he couldn’t seem to stop himself. He pulled the miko into his arms and pressed his lips to hers in a desperate kiss. Her arms came around him and he could feel the tears on her cheeks, even as she returned his kiss. Suddenly, his head was filled with memories of her and his own past. His name was InuYasha and she was Kagome and she loved him.
He pushed away from her. “Kagome?”
Her smile was like the sun, warm and bright and it burned away all the dark places inside him. “InuYasha, none of this is real. I’ve tried to break the spell on my own, but I can’t. I need you to fight with me.”
“Tou-san,” Sango called as she ran towards him, Kohaku and Kikyou not far behind.
He looked at his family and then back at Kagome who also felt like his family. He didn’t know what to do. It was all jumbled up in his head. Kikyou waved at him, one hand under the curve of her belly.
“Please, InuYasha,” Kagome said quietly. “You have to trust me. I love you and I need you.”
“Husband, I’ve been searching for you,” Kikyou called.
He looked back at Kagome again. She looked so sad and it made his heart ache. His eyes widened as a bow and arrow appeared in her hand. She drew it back and he reached towards her to stop her as she loosed the arrow right at Sango. Why would she do that? Sango had never harmed anyone in her life. He watched in horror as the arrow struck his adopted daughter, but instead of piercing her she disappeared in a burst of light.
“Draw your sword,” Kagome said her voice a plea. “This is our last chance. Don’t you dare make me live without you InuYasha.”
His hand went to his hip and he was surprised as a katana appeared there. It pulsed against his hand as if it was calling out to him, begging to be drawn. He wasn’t sure why but he pulled it from his sheath, and was caught totally off guard as it turned from a battered and rusted blade into a what looked like a giant fang. Suddenly his senses exploded. Everything was brighter and louder. He could smell the miko behind him, and her scent was both comforting and familiar. He looked at her, at Kagome, and it was if he was seeing his future.
“Husband?” Kikyou questioned. “Do you not wish to see our daughter, Kaede?”
He looked back at his wife and his brow furrowed. Hadn’t she just been pregnant last time he looked at her and now she was holding a babe in her arms. This was wrong. While he could smell Kagome clearly she was only thing he could smell. The miko stepped up beside him. Nothing in this world made sense but her and he knew he was meant to be at her side. He might not remember much more than her name but all his instincts were telling him to trust her. He drew back his sword and sliced the rift in the air between him and his family.
“You’re back,” she said quietly.
To his horror, her eyes rolled back in her head and she fell over. He sat up, ignoring his own dizziness, and pulled her into his lap. Her breathing and her heart rate were far too slow for his liking, and all of her hair was a white as his own, except for a single section beside her face. The mat covering the doorway was pulled back and Sango and Miroku stepped inside.
“InuYasha,” Sango exclaimed. “What has happened?”
“I was hoping you could tell me,” he said. “Shit where’s the old woman. I think she’s dying.”
“I will get her,”’ Miroku volunteered, and he disappeared back outside.
“What the hell happened?” he asked. “I remember fighting that youkai and getting hit with something and then having the most fucked up dreams.”
“The youkai did hit you,” Sango told him. “When you didn’t get back up Kagome went sort of still and quiet. She fired a single arrow and the youkai and all of its minions were destroyed. We brought you here in what Kagome called a coma, a sleep from which you could not be woken. Kaede determined that you had been hit with a spell meant to trap you in your own mind until your body failed. She knew of no way to save you.
“Kagome, refused to believe it could be so. She has spent the last 9 days trying to reach you and break the spell. She refused to sleep and would only eat or take water when the spell forced her out of your mind.”
“So it really was her then, in my dream,” he said quietly as he brushed the hair back from her face. “That means the things she said were her words and not something my mind created.”
Sango nodded. “She was so sure that if she could just get to you and talk to you that she would be able to get you back. Kaede said what she was doing should have been impossible and that had she not been able to follow the red thread there would have been no way to reach you.”
He was considering Sango’s words as Miroku returned with Kaede. The elderly miko came over to them and knelt down. She examined Kagome as she lay in his arms with an unreadable expression.
“I cannot lie to you InuYasha. It does not look good,” Kaede said quietly. “She simply gave too much of herself when trying to free you. The shock to her body and strain on her spirit are beyond my ability to heal.”
“What the hell are you saying old woman?” InuYasha demanded. “You’re just going to let her die.”
“I can think of but one way to save her,” Kaede told him. “You could attempt to bind her to you with your youki that she might borrow your strength.”
He looked at Kagome, barely clinging to life and then back to Kaede. There were two ways to bind her to his youki. The first would be to adopt her, effectively making her his daughter, but he knew that wasn’t what the old woman meant so he didn’t even pretend it was an option.
“But that would make her my mate,” he said.
“Aye,” Kaede agreed.
He brushed his knuckles across her cheek as the thought of her dying filled his belly with hot and heavy dread. “None of you really understand what she will be giving up if she stays here with me. What if she doesn’t want that?”
“Do not be a fool, InuYasha,” Miroku told him. “Naraku is dead, the jewel is gone and yet she continues to return to this time. We are her friends and it would be painful for to her say goodbye to us, but we all know that you are the real reason she keeps coming back.”
“Consider this,” Kaede said. “Her soul so longed to be with yours that it opened a portal that transcends time itself. The well remains open not because of the power of the jewel but by the desire of her heart. You have the power to save her, but you must also have the courage.”
“Do you really want to live in a world where she is dead all because you could not admit to her how much she means to you?” Sango asked quietly.
He looked at his friends, his pack, and then back at the girl in his arms. Just imaging living the rest of his life without her was almost more painful than he could bear. She had sacrificed so much for him and asked so little in return, and he loved her in a way that scared the shit out of him most of the time, but that he wouldn’t have changed for anything.
“He’ll either do it, or he won’t,” Sango said quietly. “But if he is going to then it won’t be until we leave them alone.”
He heard them leave and made his decision. He lifted her right wrist to his lips and bit down lightly. He followed that with her left wrist and then did the same on both sides of her neck. Once that was done he used his claw to open his own wrist and held it against her mouth pushing it against her teeth He could feel her starting to pull on his youki and her eyes opened. He opened his other wrist and put it against her lips.
“InuYasha?”
“You have to do what I tell you to now,” he said gently as he helped her sit up. “Bite down on my wrist.”
“I don’t…” she tried.
“You’re dying, Kagome,” he told her. “I can’t let that happen. I trusted you when you asked me to. I struck down a woman I thought was holding my child on your word. Now it’s your turn to trust me.”
She hesitated only a second and then bit down on his wrist. He then opened a small cut on the side of his neck and without prompting she bit him again, finishing with the other side just as he had with her. She looked at him with wide eyes, confused, but faithful. With one hand he jerked open his haori and juban. He took her finger and did his best to ignore her wince as he pricked it with his fang drawing blood.
He guided her hand, drawing the symbol of the bond over her his heart as he spoke the words. “By your blood I am bound, my heart to yours, my body to yours, my life to yours, forsaking all others in this lifetime and in all that follows.”
Kagome sucked in a sharp breath. “What are you doing?”
He swallowed hard and gathered his courage. For once he was going to be completely honest with her. “Saving the life of the woman I love, the one who has been saving mine since the day we met and who I can’t bear the thought of living without. Doing what I should have done as soon as Naraku was dead and that damn jewel was destroyed.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “You really feel that way and want to be with me? You aren’t just doing this so I won’t die?”
“I’m doing this because you were born for me and I was born for you,” he told her. “If this isn’t what you want then I’ll let you go, but it will kill me to do it. Be my mate, Kagome and I swear I’ll do my best to be a man worthy of you.”
She bit her lower lip and nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks even as she smiled. “What do I need to do?”
He flushed. “I have to, on your chest, like you did on me.
Her face heated but she pulled up her shirt. He stared at her for a long moment and she realized that she could feel his appreciation for her poking into her behind rather uncomfortably and she giggled, snapping him out of his daze. He snorted, his cheeks pink.
“Do you remember the words?” he asked.
“I think so,” she replied.
He nodded. “Put your hand over mine and say them while mark you with my blood.”
Her hand was trembling on top of his and her voice unsteady but she repeated the words he had spoken only moments before. “By your blood I am bound, my heart to yours, my body to yours, my life to yours, forsaking all others in this lifetime and in all that follows.”
He slipped his hand behind her neck and pulled her towards him. He nicked his lip with his fang and then did the same to hers before sealing their bond with a kiss. He felt it as it snapped into place. She was drawing on his youki but he barely noticed as the force of her love washed over him. Her arms closed around him and he lost himself in the taste of her. Her hands found their way beneath his clothing and he shuddered at the contact.
He tore his mouth from hers and ran his tongue over her jaw and down along her throat. His scent was pouring from the small mark on the side of her neck, the one that looked like the markings that appeared on his cheeks when he transformed, and when he nipped at it lightly she nearly came undone in his arms. He hadn’t expected the urge to get to the actual mating to be so strong. He had wanted her for forever it seemed, but this was so much more.
He forced himself to lift his head and it was one of the hardest things he had ever done in his life, but he knew that she was in no condition for them to be together like that right now, if she wanted to at all. He realized that he might be getting ahead of himself on that count anyway.
Kagome looked up at him, her lower lip held firmly between her teeth. “Is something wrong?”
“Keh, no,” he replied as he brushed her hair back from her face.
Her cheeks glowed a lovely shade of pink as she reached up to rub one of his ears. “Then why did you stop? Was it something I did?”
“You nearly died,” he said quietly, the thought almost enough to make him sick. “We should wait until you’re fully recovered. It can wait. I can wait.”
“What if I can’t?” Kagome asked, running a finger across the small mark on the side of his neck.
He shuddered and a low groan escaped him. Just the knowledge that she wanted to be with him, to touch him was almost enough to make him lose all control. He crushed her against him one hand tangling in the hair behind her neck. “Shit, are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m sure that if you don’t stop talking and kiss me, you won’t be,” she told him.
He growled and kissed her hard. She drew away from him and he could only stare at her as she pulled her shirt off over her head and tossed it aside. Her eyes met his unashamed and unafraid as she reached behind her and unhooked her bra, letting the straps slide off her shoulders.
“Your turn,” she said her tone almost making it a challenge.
He smirked at her and quickly removed his haori and juban. She reached for him at once, her hands like silk against his skin as she ran them across his chest. He urged her onto her back and lay over her, not quite believing that he wasn’t still locked in a dream of his own design. He leaned down and nipped lightly at his mark and she arched against him.
Her nails bit into his shoulders as she clung to him. “InuYasha.”
He ran his tongue across her collar bone and continued downward so that he could lavish attention on her perfect breasts. He squeezed them gently with both hands, something he had been dying to do ever since he managed to catch his first glimpse of them. Her eyes were closed and the look on her face was serene. He watched for her reaction as he flicked one of her nipples with his tongue.
“Again,” she breathed taking his head in her hands.
The taste of her skin was salty and sweet and he knew he would never get enough of her. He pulled the stiff peak into his mouth and sucked deeply. She moaned and though he wouldn’t have thought it was possible his cock hardened further at the sound. He did his best to torture her with his lips, teeth and tongue.
“Please,” she gasped as he bit her softly.
He lifted his head to look at her. Her face was flushed and she was panting lightly. He hooked his thumbs in the waistband of her skirt and panties and she lifted her hips to help him slip them off. The scent of her hit him full force and he found himself dying to really taste her. She blushed but parted her legs in invitation.
“Kagome, can I,” he tried. “Shit, I want to…” He couldn’t say the words so scooted away from her and lowered his head to place a soft kiss on the inside of her thigh. “Can I?”
She smiled at him. “Mmm, yes, please. I was hoping you would.”
“Really?” he asked.
She nodded and it was all the further encouragement he needed. He nipped her leg once where he had kissed her and then pressed his face against the heat and wet of her. She gasped as he ran his tongue along her from bottom to top. She tasted even better than she smelled and he lapped at her like the dog that he was. Her hands were fisted in his hair, holding him against her as she rocked herself against his mouth. He explored her thoroughly noticing the way she jerked when be brushed one particular spot just above her opening.
“Right there, please, more,” she told him her tone a plea.
He was powerless to deny her. He pressed his tongue hard against the small firm bud and a soft growl rumbled through him as she cried out to him.
“Oh, oh, do that again,” she breathed.
He smirked to himself and growled again, this time wrapping his lips around that spot that seemed to bring her so much pleasure. Her entire body went tight and her thighs closed around his head as she cried out his name loud enough that the whole village probably heard. She squirmed against him as he continued to press his mouth against her, until finally she pushed at the top of his head.
“Too much,” she said with a whimper.
He released her and lapped at her on last time, enjoying the fruits of his labor before crawling up her body and seating his hips between her legs. As soon as he was in reach she leaned up and captured his lips with her own before falling back again onto the sleeping mat.
“Wow that’s was… I never… wow, “she tried between breaths.
He laughed a little feeling much more confident in his ability to be a good mate than he had before. She slapped his arm, most likely as a reprimand for the smug look on his face, but he could tell that she wasn’t really upset.
“You know I was worried I would disappoint you,” he admitted as he nibbled the skin behind her ear. “It’s not like I’ve ever done this before.”
She smiled up at him. “You could never do that.”
She reached down between then and tugged free the belt of his pants. They slipped down off his hips and somehow he managed to kick them off. She looked down and a small frown marred her brow.
“S’matter?” he asked.
“I don’t know how to take that off,” she told him.
He sat back on his knees and tried to force his hands to stop shaking as he went to remove his fundoshi. He knew he didn’t look any different than human men but a part of him, that part that still thought of himself as somehow tainted because of his youkai blood, was worried that she would turn from him. He blinked as her hands covered his causing them to still at last.
“I love you,” she said so certain and so sincere that he couldn’t doubt, not even the broken part of him that still tried to convince him that he didn’t deserve her.
This time as he tried to remove the last barrier between them, his hands were steady and though he felt his face he at her eyes upon him, he wasn’t afraid. His heart was racing as she reached out with one delicate hand and wrapped it around him. His eyes fell closed and his head fell forwards as she stroked him slowly.
“Fuck, Kagome,” he groaned. “I, fuck, oh fuck.”
Kagome smiled at his reaction to her touch, happy that he was just as affected by her as she was by him. She was pretty sure that he wasn’t even aware of the way he was thrusting his hips into her hand. She looked up at him, and wondered if she might not be bold enough to return his earlier affections with her own. She gathered her courage and leaned forward. The position was a little awkward but the sound he made and the way he looked at her as she wrapped her lips around him made it more than worth it. His eyes were wide as he watched her pull him further into her mouth almost as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
“Shit!” he cried grabbing for her and pulling her up into his arms.
She frowned. “Why? You liked it, didn’t you?”
“Hell yes I liked it,” he told her. “Another ten seconds of that and this would have been over before it started.”
Her eyes widened a little and then she giggled. “Oh, well in that case I guess it’s okay that you stopped me, this time, but I still owe you and I intend to pay you back.”
He chuckled lightly. “And I fucking intend to let you, just not right now.” He buried his face against her neck and she sighed. “You sure about this?”
In reply she laid back and pulled him down on top of her. “I’ve always been sure about you.”
He reached between them and lined himself up to take her. He brushed his thumb across her cheek as he stared into her eyes. “You know I love you too, right? I have for a long time.”
She blinked away the tears that sprang to her eyes and nodded. She wrapped her arms around him and held onto him tightly as he began to press himself into her. Her breath hitched as he moved a little too fast and he stilled.
“Shit, sorry, sorry,” he said.
She shook her head. “It’s okay. I’m okay. Keep going.”
He pressed his lips to her and kissed her tenderly as he rocked his hips taking more care this time to go slowly and not to hurt her any more than was absolutely necessary. Her fingers dug into his back and he let a soothing rumble spill from him as he lapped at the mark on her neck. She moaned against him and he could feel her body relax further, welcoming him, drawing him in. She hooked one leg over his hip and pulled him the rest of the way into her.
He rested his forehead against her shoulder. She was so tight and hot and wet and it was all he could do not to lose himself within her. He shuddered as her hands ran along his back.
“Are you okay?” she asked quietly.
He took a shaky breath and lifted his head. “Better than okay. You just feel so fucking good. I needed a minute.”
She started to laugh but as he withdrew and then thrust forward her laugh turned into a breathy moan that blended perfectly with his. She gasped and pulled him down against her. She couldn’t seem to get him close enough, have him deeply enough inside her. Of all the times she had imagined being with him, dreamed of what it would be like, it hadn’t even come close to what she was feeling now. It was too much and not enough at the same time. She wanted to laugh and to cry and to hold onto him and never let go.
He moved hard and faster, his breathing ragged and hot against her neck. “K’gome, my K’gome, love you.”
Her entire body felt like it was coming apart as his fangs sank into her over one of the brands that marked her as his. He grunted and pushed into her even harder than before as she shattered into a million pieces. He lapped at the small wound his hips jerking against her in short thrusts, his body trembling just as hard as hers. She didn’t know how long it was before they were both able to slow their racing hearts, but it didn’t matter, not really.
She loved the feeling of his weight on top of her and the heat of his skin against her. She kissed his chest softly. “Mmm, let’s just stay like this forever.”
He raised his head to look down at her with a grin. “Keh, remember you said that when you want to go bathe and I won’t let you out of bed.”
She laughed. “Okay, maybe not forever, but I fully intend on us spending a lot of time, just like this.”
“You won’t get any arguments from me,” he assured her.
She missed him as soon as he slipped out of her and moved to lay beside her, so she curled up against him and rested her head on his chest. He lifted her arm so that he could see her wrist which was now encircled by marks of their bonding in a deep red that were a perfect match for the ones on his wrists.
“We match,” she said quietly.
“That ain’t the only way we match now,” he said, picking up a thick section of her hair.
She sat up and grabbed a handful of her hair. “How did I not notice? My hair is white!”
He sat up and carefully separated the section of black hair and showed it to her. “Not all of it.”
“Is this because of the mating?” she asked as she continued to look at her hair disbelieving.
He shook his head. “It was like that when you woke me up.” He pushed her hair back and leaned over to nip lightly at her shoulder. He followed that with a soothing swipe of his tongue and several soft kisses. “I kind of like it.”
She shivered at his touch. “You do?”
He nodded as he moved across her shoulder towards the back of her neck. “Every time I look at you now I can see how much you love me and how hard you were willing to fight for me, that you never gave up on me, on us.”
She gasped as he grazed a particularly sensitive spot. “When you put it that way...Oh, Kami-sama, what are you doing to me.”
He chuckled quietly. “Showing my mate that I don’t give a shit about what color her hair is, that she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Now shut up and enjoy it.”
She made a little growling sound but didn’t say anything else.
InuYasha stirred as he heard someone knock lightly. Kagome was sleeping soundly beside him. She looked much better if a little too thin and was no longer pulling on his youki. He covered her with the blanket and searched out his hakama and juban. He pulled them on and then stepped outside.
“How is she?” Sango asked.
“She’s going to be fine,” he replied with a blush.
Sango smiled and offered him the small pot in her hands. “I thought you both might be hungry. Kaede also wanted me to offer you use of her home for as long as you need to recover fully. Any number of families have offered her shelter in the meantime.”
“Keh, thanks,” he managed weakly. He flicked his ear back as he heard Kagome say his name inside. “She’s waking up.”
Sango just nodded and then left him. He went back inside to find her sitting up. She smiled at him when he came in. He set the pot down and grabbed a couple of bowls. He handed one to her and kept the other for himself. He looked at her, really looked at her as he started to eat and his chopsticks fell from his hands as he realized that she was wearing his haori and nothing else. More than that she hadn’t even tied it closed so that could see the delicious vale between her breasts. His eyes traveled downwards, settling at last on the dark hair at the apex of her thighs.
She laughed and he blinked. “See something you like?”
He growled and set his bowl aside. She squealed as he pounced on her, but wrapped her arms around him and welcomed him into her body just as she had always welcomed him into her heart.
"Are you well?" a pleasant female voice asked.
He looked up at the woman who had two young children with her and wondered why his first instinct was to assess if they were a threat. She was beautiful and there was something so familiar about the concern in her eyes. He almost smiled as the little girl peeked at him from behind her mother.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I just woke up here and my head is killing me.”
The woman stepped closer and knelt before him. “You do not appear to be injured.”
“I don’t think I am,” he offered.
“My name is Kikyou, might I have yours?” she asked.
He frowned. “I-I can’t seem to remember it, or much of anything really.”
“In that case perhaps you should come home with me,” she told him. “You can share a meal with us and perhaps when you have rested your memory will return. Sango, Kohaku, gather our things and carry them so I can assist our guest.”
He let the woman, Kikyou, help him to his feet. “You don’t have to do this.”
She smiled at him. “Good fortune was with me this day as one of my snares caught us a rabbit. It would be wrong not to share that good fortune with you.”
*****
“I am sorry, child,” Kaede said quietly. “There
is nothing I can do.”Kagome just shook her head. “I don’t, there has to be something. He can’t die. He can’t.”
“If there is a way to break the spell up on him, then it is beyond me,” Kaede told her. “We can give him water, but eventually even he will die from lack of food.”
Kagome looked to Miroku with tears in her eyes. “Maybe there’s something you could do?”
“If it were within my abilities, you know that I would help him,” he told her. “He has been like a brother to me.”
“He can’t die,” Kagome said again, mostly to herself. She lifted his head into her lap and gently rubbed his ears. “He’s only like this because of me, because I was too weak and too slow. There has to be a way to save him.”
The others watched with heavy hearts as Kagome’s tears fell in a steady stream, landing on the hanyou’s face and in his hair. Of course they would all feel the loss of their hanyou companion but none of them would feel it as profoundly as Kagome. Perhaps was worse that as a hanyou he would mostly likely live in this state for a very long time, prolonging everyone’s suffering, including his own.
“I feel you, in here,” Kagome said quietly, holding one hand over her heart. “If only I could reach you, tell you what happened, then maybe you could help free yourself, but I don’t know how.”
*****
He took the small bowl of rabbit and vegetables with thanks. He
felt out of place here with this woman and her children, but he
decided that it was most likely just because he couldn’t
remember anything about himself. For all he knew he had a wife and
children of his own, though for some reason he didn’t think
that was the case.“So, where is your husband?” he asked.
Kikyou looked into her bowl. “Several winters ago he was taken ill and never recovered.”
“Shit, sorry,” he said quickly.
She shook her head. “There is no need for an apology. It is only reasonable that you should wonder.”
He took a bite of his food to avoid having to think of something else to say. He felt like an asshole for bringing up something that was probably painful for the woman who had been so kind to him, not to mention that the kids probably didn’t enjoy talking about their dead father too much either.
When they were all finished Kikyou took the bowls and rinsed them clean before tucking her two children into bed on one side of the small fire.
She looked at him a deep blush staining her cheeks. “I am sorry I do not have another mat or even a blanket for you.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he told her. “You’ve done more than enough. I’ll be fine.”
She nodded and then slipped under the thin blanket atop her own sleeping mat before turning away from him to go to sleep. He closed his eyes and let his head rest against the wall behind him. For some reason the position felt familiar to him and he knew that he wouldn’t have any trouble sleeping as he was. He hoped that when he woke his memory would be returned or at the very least his headache would be gone.
Sleep did not come as quickly as he would have liked, and as he sat their dozing in the small hut it he heard a soft female voice calling out to him. The sound of it was so familiar and he could almost see the face that went with the voice. Her eyes, they would be a stormy mix of blue and gray and she was crying. Why did that make his chest hurt? He really wished that he could remember something, anything about who he was.
*****
Kagome’s head snapped up as someone put a hand on her
shoulder. She hadn’t even heard the slayer approach. She must
have been half asleep. Maybe that was why she was so sure that she
had heard InuYasha apologizing for something. She looked over to
find Sango kneeling beside her.“Perhaps you should lie down and try to get some rest,” the taijiya said.
She shook her head. She couldn’t leave him, not even for a minute. Something tugged at her heart, and she gasped. What if she hadn’t been dreaming? What if she had actually been inside InuYasha’s head and had been hearing him in whatever dream he was tapped inside? If she had almost reached him once, then she could do it again. They were connected in a way that went beyond what could be explained, of that she was certain.
“I think I can reach him, Sango,” she said. “I think I almost did. I heard him. He was apologizing for something. I have to try.”
“Are you sure that is wise?” Sango asked. “What if you get trapped as well?”
Kagome looked her friend in the eyes. “That is a risk I have to take. He would do it for me.”
Kagome closed her eyes and held the sides of his head with her hands. She took slow deep breaths inhaling through her nose and exhaling through her mouth and sought out her center, the place of warmth and light within her where she carried her power. She reached for him with every bit her heart and her soul and let her love guide her to him.
Sango’s breath caught in her throat as Kagome’s head fell back and her eyes flashed sliver. She watched as it fell forward again and then went to find Miroku and Kaede.
*****
Kohaku grinned as proudly handed the fish he had caught to his
mother. “Miroku-san showed me how!”He was still struggling to get used to the name he had finally chosen for himself, when it became clear that his memories were not going to be returning. It still didn’t sound quite right, but the name evoked good feelings within him for some reason and so he had decided to take it for his own.
Kikyou smiled at her son and then turned to him. “Thank you, both of you. This will make a fine meal.”
“Kaa-san, I’m going back outside to play,” Kohaku announced as he ran out the door.”
Kikyou turned away from him. “Thank you Miroku-san for taking the time to teach him. I must admit it has been nice to have man around these last few weeks.”
He felt his face heat. “Keh, it’s the least I can do, and he’s a good kid.”
“It is more than that,” she said glancing at him, her cheeks pink. “You have made it feel as though our family is whole again.” She looked back down at the fish. “I do not mean to presume, but I thought perhaps you might wish to be so?”
He swallowed hard. “Kikyou-san, I…”
“Forgive me,” she said quickly. “I should not have said anything.”
He watched her as she prepared the fish. It wasn’t that he was opposed to the idea of staying with her, becoming her husband and helping to raise her children, but that the offer had taken him completely by surprise. For some reason in his heart, having a family felt like a dream he was certain would never come true. He walked over to and knelt behind her.
Her hands stilled and he took a deep breath before resting his hand on her shoulders. He knew he would be a fool not to take what she was offering that he could have a good life here with her and her children. She was beautiful and kind and he could do far worse. Maybe it was time to accept that he might never remember where he came from, that it was time to move on and start living his life.
“I would stay with you, if you would have me,” he told her gently. “And I will take your children as my own, if they would have me as well.”
She put down the small knife in her hand and turned to face him. She smiled softly as he laid his hand against her cheek. “Husband.”
He looked into her eyes and for a moment she wasn’t Kikyou, but someone else. Her eyes weren’t the rich brown he had grown accustomed to but were instead the same steely blue that haunted his dreams. Her hair darkened to the color of midnight and her features softened somehow. He blinked several times and the vision cleared, leaving only Kikyou looking at him expectantly.
He offered her a soft smile and then covered her mouth with his own.
*****
Kagome opened her eyes as she felt Kaede trying to reach her with
her power. Her mouth was dry and her neck was so sore. She tried to
lick her lips but it didn’t do anything to ease the parched
feeling. She took the bottle of water being offered to her without
really seeing whose hand it was that held it out to her.“I was so close,” she said. “For a second I was sure that he saw me. I have to try again.”
“Kagome, child, perhaps you should rest a bit first,” Kaede suggested gently. “It is well past nightfall. I know you wish to help him, but you will be able to do nothing if you do not see to your own needs.”
Kagome looked down at him and then back at the elderly miko. “Maybe I could sleep, just for a little while.”
Kaede offered her an encouraging nod and Kagome gently lowered InuYasha’s head out of her lap and onto the floor. She looked over at her sleeping bag, but couldn’t seem to make herself leave his side, so instead she lay down beside him, taking his hand in hers and closed her eyes.
When Sango and Miroku came in a short time later she was already asleep. They sat down around the fire with Kaede and looked to the elderly miko for answers.
“Do you really think it’s possible for her to reach him?” Miroku asked.
“They are connected by the red thread,” Kaede replied. “I have felt it with my power. She is using it to find him, but the spell is working against her.”
Sango reached out and lifted a small section of Kagome’s hair between her fingers. “What do make of this?”
Kaede looked at the now pale strands and then back at the fire. “What she is doing should be impossible and the toll on her body great.”
“Will she be alright?” the slayer asked.
“I hope so,” Kaede replied.
*****
“Husband, I have something important to tell you,”
Kikyou said quietly he stood behind her looking out at Sango and
Kohaku playing together. She gripped his hand and moved it over the
small rounding of her belly. “I believe I am with
child.”Of course he hadn’t been fool enough to comment on the thickening he had noticed around her middle, and somehow that she might be carrying had never even occurred to him. A small voice inside his head tried to tell him that this was wrong, that this woman wasn’t supposed to be having his child, but the largest part of him swelled with joy.
“Are you not pleased, husband?” Kikyou asked her voice uncertain.
He blinked and looked down at her. He moved his hand to caress the swelling that was now obvious to his eyes and smiled. “Keh, of course I am. I’m going to go catch some fish. I’ll take Kohaku with me. You need to eat well, now, for both of you.”
She blushed prettily. “As you say, my husband.”
He called Kohaku over to him and together they headed for the river. The boy wandered further upstream and he smiled. He didn’t know what his life had been before, but the life he had now was as good as any that he could have dreamed up for himself, and yet there was still this nagging voice telling him that something was missing.
He felt someone’s eyes on him and turned. Standing just a few steps away was a beautiful miko. His eyes met hers and his breath hitched. He would have recognized those eyes anywhere, and there was something so familiar about her that he had to know who she was. She ran over to him her expression desperate.
“You have to fight this,” the miko said. “You have to come back to me, please.”
He grabbed the miko’s arm. “Who are you? Why do I know your face?”
Before she could answer Sango ran over and tugged on his sleeve. “Mother needs you to fetch some water.”
He looked back and his hand was empty and the miko with the familiar face and storm cloud colored eyes was gone. He frowned but followed Sango back to the hut to get the bucket so the he could fetch the water for Kikyou.
*****
Kagome opened her eyes. “I had him. I was so close. I have to
go back.”“Please Kagome, you need to rest,” Sango said.
“I can’t,” she replied. “The longer I stay out the harder it is for me to get back to him.”
“At least drink some water and eat something,” Miroku told her as he offered her a bottle of water and one of her energy bars.
She took them and devoured the bar in four quick bites before drinking down the entire bottle of water. Once that was done she placed her hands back on the sides of his head and closed her eyes.
Sango and Miroku watched her with worried expressions. Kagome had been at it for days for the most part without sleep or food or water and they could see what she could not. What had started as a single thick shock of white hair was spreading and soon her hair would be more white than black.
*****
He was thinking about her as he walked near the edge of the
village. He hated himself and how his mind wouldn’t let go of
the image of the miko that he wasn’t even sure existed.
Kikyou would be giving birth before too much longer and he should
be focused on her, but no matter how hard he tried he just
couldn’t stop hoping that the miko would appear again.As if having been called by his thoughts she appeared near the tree line. This time he ran after her as soon as he saw the flash of red and white. He had to talk to her again; the miko with the grey eyes that haunted his dreams. There was something about her that made the empty ache inside him abate and he had to know who she was. He found her at the base of the sacred tree.
She turned to face him. “InuYasha, I need you to fight. I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I love you. Please come back to me.”
He stepped closer to her, drawn forward by some invisible force. He knew it was wrong to feel so much for this woman whose name he didn’t even know. He had a good life here with Kikyou and her children. She was his wife and she carried his child and he owed her his devotion and yet, he couldn’t seem to stop himself. He pulled the miko into his arms and pressed his lips to hers in a desperate kiss. Her arms came around him and he could feel the tears on her cheeks, even as she returned his kiss. Suddenly, his head was filled with memories of her and his own past. His name was InuYasha and she was Kagome and she loved him.
He pushed away from her. “Kagome?”
Her smile was like the sun, warm and bright and it burned away all the dark places inside him. “InuYasha, none of this is real. I’ve tried to break the spell on my own, but I can’t. I need you to fight with me.”
“Tou-san,” Sango called as she ran towards him, Kohaku and Kikyou not far behind.
He looked at his family and then back at Kagome who also felt like his family. He didn’t know what to do. It was all jumbled up in his head. Kikyou waved at him, one hand under the curve of her belly.
“Please, InuYasha,” Kagome said quietly. “You have to trust me. I love you and I need you.”
“Husband, I’ve been searching for you,” Kikyou called.
He looked back at Kagome again. She looked so sad and it made his heart ache. His eyes widened as a bow and arrow appeared in her hand. She drew it back and he reached towards her to stop her as she loosed the arrow right at Sango. Why would she do that? Sango had never harmed anyone in her life. He watched in horror as the arrow struck his adopted daughter, but instead of piercing her she disappeared in a burst of light.
“Draw your sword,” Kagome said her voice a plea. “This is our last chance. Don’t you dare make me live without you InuYasha.”
His hand went to his hip and he was surprised as a katana appeared there. It pulsed against his hand as if it was calling out to him, begging to be drawn. He wasn’t sure why but he pulled it from his sheath, and was caught totally off guard as it turned from a battered and rusted blade into a what looked like a giant fang. Suddenly his senses exploded. Everything was brighter and louder. He could smell the miko behind him, and her scent was both comforting and familiar. He looked at her, at Kagome, and it was if he was seeing his future.
“Husband?” Kikyou questioned. “Do you not wish to see our daughter, Kaede?”
He looked back at his wife and his brow furrowed. Hadn’t she just been pregnant last time he looked at her and now she was holding a babe in her arms. This was wrong. While he could smell Kagome clearly she was only thing he could smell. The miko stepped up beside him. Nothing in this world made sense but her and he knew he was meant to be at her side. He might not remember much more than her name but all his instincts were telling him to trust her. He drew back his sword and sliced the rift in the air between him and his family.
*****
InuYasha blinked several times to clear his vision. Kagome was
looking down at him a soft smile on her face.“You’re back,” she said quietly.
To his horror, her eyes rolled back in her head and she fell over. He sat up, ignoring his own dizziness, and pulled her into his lap. Her breathing and her heart rate were far too slow for his liking, and all of her hair was a white as his own, except for a single section beside her face. The mat covering the doorway was pulled back and Sango and Miroku stepped inside.
“InuYasha,” Sango exclaimed. “What has happened?”
“I was hoping you could tell me,” he said. “Shit where’s the old woman. I think she’s dying.”
“I will get her,”’ Miroku volunteered, and he disappeared back outside.
“What the hell happened?” he asked. “I remember fighting that youkai and getting hit with something and then having the most fucked up dreams.”
“The youkai did hit you,” Sango told him. “When you didn’t get back up Kagome went sort of still and quiet. She fired a single arrow and the youkai and all of its minions were destroyed. We brought you here in what Kagome called a coma, a sleep from which you could not be woken. Kaede determined that you had been hit with a spell meant to trap you in your own mind until your body failed. She knew of no way to save you.
“Kagome, refused to believe it could be so. She has spent the last 9 days trying to reach you and break the spell. She refused to sleep and would only eat or take water when the spell forced her out of your mind.”
“So it really was her then, in my dream,” he said quietly as he brushed the hair back from her face. “That means the things she said were her words and not something my mind created.”
Sango nodded. “She was so sure that if she could just get to you and talk to you that she would be able to get you back. Kaede said what she was doing should have been impossible and that had she not been able to follow the red thread there would have been no way to reach you.”
He was considering Sango’s words as Miroku returned with Kaede. The elderly miko came over to them and knelt down. She examined Kagome as she lay in his arms with an unreadable expression.
“I cannot lie to you InuYasha. It does not look good,” Kaede said quietly. “She simply gave too much of herself when trying to free you. The shock to her body and strain on her spirit are beyond my ability to heal.”
“What the hell are you saying old woman?” InuYasha demanded. “You’re just going to let her die.”
“I can think of but one way to save her,” Kaede told him. “You could attempt to bind her to you with your youki that she might borrow your strength.”
He looked at Kagome, barely clinging to life and then back to Kaede. There were two ways to bind her to his youki. The first would be to adopt her, effectively making her his daughter, but he knew that wasn’t what the old woman meant so he didn’t even pretend it was an option.
“But that would make her my mate,” he said.
“Aye,” Kaede agreed.
He brushed his knuckles across her cheek as the thought of her dying filled his belly with hot and heavy dread. “None of you really understand what she will be giving up if she stays here with me. What if she doesn’t want that?”
“Do not be a fool, InuYasha,” Miroku told him. “Naraku is dead, the jewel is gone and yet she continues to return to this time. We are her friends and it would be painful for to her say goodbye to us, but we all know that you are the real reason she keeps coming back.”
“Consider this,” Kaede said. “Her soul so longed to be with yours that it opened a portal that transcends time itself. The well remains open not because of the power of the jewel but by the desire of her heart. You have the power to save her, but you must also have the courage.”
“Do you really want to live in a world where she is dead all because you could not admit to her how much she means to you?” Sango asked quietly.
He looked at his friends, his pack, and then back at the girl in his arms. Just imaging living the rest of his life without her was almost more painful than he could bear. She had sacrificed so much for him and asked so little in return, and he loved her in a way that scared the shit out of him most of the time, but that he wouldn’t have changed for anything.
“He’ll either do it, or he won’t,” Sango said quietly. “But if he is going to then it won’t be until we leave them alone.”
He heard them leave and made his decision. He lifted her right wrist to his lips and bit down lightly. He followed that with her left wrist and then did the same on both sides of her neck. Once that was done he used his claw to open his own wrist and held it against her mouth pushing it against her teeth He could feel her starting to pull on his youki and her eyes opened. He opened his other wrist and put it against her lips.
“InuYasha?”
“You have to do what I tell you to now,” he said gently as he helped her sit up. “Bite down on my wrist.”
“I don’t…” she tried.
“You’re dying, Kagome,” he told her. “I can’t let that happen. I trusted you when you asked me to. I struck down a woman I thought was holding my child on your word. Now it’s your turn to trust me.”
She hesitated only a second and then bit down on his wrist. He then opened a small cut on the side of his neck and without prompting she bit him again, finishing with the other side just as he had with her. She looked at him with wide eyes, confused, but faithful. With one hand he jerked open his haori and juban. He took her finger and did his best to ignore her wince as he pricked it with his fang drawing blood.
He guided her hand, drawing the symbol of the bond over her his heart as he spoke the words. “By your blood I am bound, my heart to yours, my body to yours, my life to yours, forsaking all others in this lifetime and in all that follows.”
Kagome sucked in a sharp breath. “What are you doing?”
He swallowed hard and gathered his courage. For once he was going to be completely honest with her. “Saving the life of the woman I love, the one who has been saving mine since the day we met and who I can’t bear the thought of living without. Doing what I should have done as soon as Naraku was dead and that damn jewel was destroyed.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “You really feel that way and want to be with me? You aren’t just doing this so I won’t die?”
“I’m doing this because you were born for me and I was born for you,” he told her. “If this isn’t what you want then I’ll let you go, but it will kill me to do it. Be my mate, Kagome and I swear I’ll do my best to be a man worthy of you.”
She bit her lower lip and nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks even as she smiled. “What do I need to do?”
He flushed. “I have to, on your chest, like you did on me.
Her face heated but she pulled up her shirt. He stared at her for a long moment and she realized that she could feel his appreciation for her poking into her behind rather uncomfortably and she giggled, snapping him out of his daze. He snorted, his cheeks pink.
“Do you remember the words?” he asked.
“I think so,” she replied.
He nodded. “Put your hand over mine and say them while mark you with my blood.”
Her hand was trembling on top of his and her voice unsteady but she repeated the words he had spoken only moments before. “By your blood I am bound, my heart to yours, my body to yours, my life to yours, forsaking all others in this lifetime and in all that follows.”
He slipped his hand behind her neck and pulled her towards him. He nicked his lip with his fang and then did the same to hers before sealing their bond with a kiss. He felt it as it snapped into place. She was drawing on his youki but he barely noticed as the force of her love washed over him. Her arms closed around him and he lost himself in the taste of her. Her hands found their way beneath his clothing and he shuddered at the contact.
He tore his mouth from hers and ran his tongue over her jaw and down along her throat. His scent was pouring from the small mark on the side of her neck, the one that looked like the markings that appeared on his cheeks when he transformed, and when he nipped at it lightly she nearly came undone in his arms. He hadn’t expected the urge to get to the actual mating to be so strong. He had wanted her for forever it seemed, but this was so much more.
He forced himself to lift his head and it was one of the hardest things he had ever done in his life, but he knew that she was in no condition for them to be together like that right now, if she wanted to at all. He realized that he might be getting ahead of himself on that count anyway.
Kagome looked up at him, her lower lip held firmly between her teeth. “Is something wrong?”
“Keh, no,” he replied as he brushed her hair back from her face.
Her cheeks glowed a lovely shade of pink as she reached up to rub one of his ears. “Then why did you stop? Was it something I did?”
“You nearly died,” he said quietly, the thought almost enough to make him sick. “We should wait until you’re fully recovered. It can wait. I can wait.”
“What if I can’t?” Kagome asked, running a finger across the small mark on the side of his neck.
He shuddered and a low groan escaped him. Just the knowledge that she wanted to be with him, to touch him was almost enough to make him lose all control. He crushed her against him one hand tangling in the hair behind her neck. “Shit, are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m sure that if you don’t stop talking and kiss me, you won’t be,” she told him.
He growled and kissed her hard. She drew away from him and he could only stare at her as she pulled her shirt off over her head and tossed it aside. Her eyes met his unashamed and unafraid as she reached behind her and unhooked her bra, letting the straps slide off her shoulders.
“Your turn,” she said her tone almost making it a challenge.
He smirked at her and quickly removed his haori and juban. She reached for him at once, her hands like silk against his skin as she ran them across his chest. He urged her onto her back and lay over her, not quite believing that he wasn’t still locked in a dream of his own design. He leaned down and nipped lightly at his mark and she arched against him.
Her nails bit into his shoulders as she clung to him. “InuYasha.”
He ran his tongue across her collar bone and continued downward so that he could lavish attention on her perfect breasts. He squeezed them gently with both hands, something he had been dying to do ever since he managed to catch his first glimpse of them. Her eyes were closed and the look on her face was serene. He watched for her reaction as he flicked one of her nipples with his tongue.
“Again,” she breathed taking his head in her hands.
The taste of her skin was salty and sweet and he knew he would never get enough of her. He pulled the stiff peak into his mouth and sucked deeply. She moaned and though he wouldn’t have thought it was possible his cock hardened further at the sound. He did his best to torture her with his lips, teeth and tongue.
“Please,” she gasped as he bit her softly.
He lifted his head to look at her. Her face was flushed and she was panting lightly. He hooked his thumbs in the waistband of her skirt and panties and she lifted her hips to help him slip them off. The scent of her hit him full force and he found himself dying to really taste her. She blushed but parted her legs in invitation.
“Kagome, can I,” he tried. “Shit, I want to…” He couldn’t say the words so scooted away from her and lowered his head to place a soft kiss on the inside of her thigh. “Can I?”
She smiled at him. “Mmm, yes, please. I was hoping you would.”
“Really?” he asked.
She nodded and it was all the further encouragement he needed. He nipped her leg once where he had kissed her and then pressed his face against the heat and wet of her. She gasped as he ran his tongue along her from bottom to top. She tasted even better than she smelled and he lapped at her like the dog that he was. Her hands were fisted in his hair, holding him against her as she rocked herself against his mouth. He explored her thoroughly noticing the way she jerked when be brushed one particular spot just above her opening.
“Right there, please, more,” she told him her tone a plea.
He was powerless to deny her. He pressed his tongue hard against the small firm bud and a soft growl rumbled through him as she cried out to him.
“Oh, oh, do that again,” she breathed.
He smirked to himself and growled again, this time wrapping his lips around that spot that seemed to bring her so much pleasure. Her entire body went tight and her thighs closed around his head as she cried out his name loud enough that the whole village probably heard. She squirmed against him as he continued to press his mouth against her, until finally she pushed at the top of his head.
“Too much,” she said with a whimper.
He released her and lapped at her on last time, enjoying the fruits of his labor before crawling up her body and seating his hips between her legs. As soon as he was in reach she leaned up and captured his lips with her own before falling back again onto the sleeping mat.
“Wow that’s was… I never… wow, “she tried between breaths.
He laughed a little feeling much more confident in his ability to be a good mate than he had before. She slapped his arm, most likely as a reprimand for the smug look on his face, but he could tell that she wasn’t really upset.
“You know I was worried I would disappoint you,” he admitted as he nibbled the skin behind her ear. “It’s not like I’ve ever done this before.”
She smiled up at him. “You could never do that.”
She reached down between then and tugged free the belt of his pants. They slipped down off his hips and somehow he managed to kick them off. She looked down and a small frown marred her brow.
“S’matter?” he asked.
“I don’t know how to take that off,” she told him.
He sat back on his knees and tried to force his hands to stop shaking as he went to remove his fundoshi. He knew he didn’t look any different than human men but a part of him, that part that still thought of himself as somehow tainted because of his youkai blood, was worried that she would turn from him. He blinked as her hands covered his causing them to still at last.
“I love you,” she said so certain and so sincere that he couldn’t doubt, not even the broken part of him that still tried to convince him that he didn’t deserve her.
This time as he tried to remove the last barrier between them, his hands were steady and though he felt his face he at her eyes upon him, he wasn’t afraid. His heart was racing as she reached out with one delicate hand and wrapped it around him. His eyes fell closed and his head fell forwards as she stroked him slowly.
“Fuck, Kagome,” he groaned. “I, fuck, oh fuck.”
Kagome smiled at his reaction to her touch, happy that he was just as affected by her as she was by him. She was pretty sure that he wasn’t even aware of the way he was thrusting his hips into her hand. She looked up at him, and wondered if she might not be bold enough to return his earlier affections with her own. She gathered her courage and leaned forward. The position was a little awkward but the sound he made and the way he looked at her as she wrapped her lips around him made it more than worth it. His eyes were wide as he watched her pull him further into her mouth almost as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
“Shit!” he cried grabbing for her and pulling her up into his arms.
She frowned. “Why? You liked it, didn’t you?”
“Hell yes I liked it,” he told her. “Another ten seconds of that and this would have been over before it started.”
Her eyes widened a little and then she giggled. “Oh, well in that case I guess it’s okay that you stopped me, this time, but I still owe you and I intend to pay you back.”
He chuckled lightly. “And I fucking intend to let you, just not right now.” He buried his face against her neck and she sighed. “You sure about this?”
In reply she laid back and pulled him down on top of her. “I’ve always been sure about you.”
He reached between them and lined himself up to take her. He brushed his thumb across her cheek as he stared into her eyes. “You know I love you too, right? I have for a long time.”
She blinked away the tears that sprang to her eyes and nodded. She wrapped her arms around him and held onto him tightly as he began to press himself into her. Her breath hitched as he moved a little too fast and he stilled.
“Shit, sorry, sorry,” he said.
She shook her head. “It’s okay. I’m okay. Keep going.”
He pressed his lips to her and kissed her tenderly as he rocked his hips taking more care this time to go slowly and not to hurt her any more than was absolutely necessary. Her fingers dug into his back and he let a soothing rumble spill from him as he lapped at the mark on her neck. She moaned against him and he could feel her body relax further, welcoming him, drawing him in. She hooked one leg over his hip and pulled him the rest of the way into her.
He rested his forehead against her shoulder. She was so tight and hot and wet and it was all he could do not to lose himself within her. He shuddered as her hands ran along his back.
“Are you okay?” she asked quietly.
He took a shaky breath and lifted his head. “Better than okay. You just feel so fucking good. I needed a minute.”
She started to laugh but as he withdrew and then thrust forward her laugh turned into a breathy moan that blended perfectly with his. She gasped and pulled him down against her. She couldn’t seem to get him close enough, have him deeply enough inside her. Of all the times she had imagined being with him, dreamed of what it would be like, it hadn’t even come close to what she was feeling now. It was too much and not enough at the same time. She wanted to laugh and to cry and to hold onto him and never let go.
He moved hard and faster, his breathing ragged and hot against her neck. “K’gome, my K’gome, love you.”
Her entire body felt like it was coming apart as his fangs sank into her over one of the brands that marked her as his. He grunted and pushed into her even harder than before as she shattered into a million pieces. He lapped at the small wound his hips jerking against her in short thrusts, his body trembling just as hard as hers. She didn’t know how long it was before they were both able to slow their racing hearts, but it didn’t matter, not really.
She loved the feeling of his weight on top of her and the heat of his skin against her. She kissed his chest softly. “Mmm, let’s just stay like this forever.”
He raised his head to look down at her with a grin. “Keh, remember you said that when you want to go bathe and I won’t let you out of bed.”
She laughed. “Okay, maybe not forever, but I fully intend on us spending a lot of time, just like this.”
“You won’t get any arguments from me,” he assured her.
She missed him as soon as he slipped out of her and moved to lay beside her, so she curled up against him and rested her head on his chest. He lifted her arm so that he could see her wrist which was now encircled by marks of their bonding in a deep red that were a perfect match for the ones on his wrists.
“We match,” she said quietly.
“That ain’t the only way we match now,” he said, picking up a thick section of her hair.
She sat up and grabbed a handful of her hair. “How did I not notice? My hair is white!”
He sat up and carefully separated the section of black hair and showed it to her. “Not all of it.”
“Is this because of the mating?” she asked as she continued to look at her hair disbelieving.
He shook his head. “It was like that when you woke me up.” He pushed her hair back and leaned over to nip lightly at her shoulder. He followed that with a soothing swipe of his tongue and several soft kisses. “I kind of like it.”
She shivered at his touch. “You do?”
He nodded as he moved across her shoulder towards the back of her neck. “Every time I look at you now I can see how much you love me and how hard you were willing to fight for me, that you never gave up on me, on us.”
She gasped as he grazed a particularly sensitive spot. “When you put it that way...Oh, Kami-sama, what are you doing to me.”
He chuckled quietly. “Showing my mate that I don’t give a shit about what color her hair is, that she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Now shut up and enjoy it.”
She made a little growling sound but didn’t say anything else.
InuYasha stirred as he heard someone knock lightly. Kagome was sleeping soundly beside him. She looked much better if a little too thin and was no longer pulling on his youki. He covered her with the blanket and searched out his hakama and juban. He pulled them on and then stepped outside.
“How is she?” Sango asked.
“She’s going to be fine,” he replied with a blush.
Sango smiled and offered him the small pot in her hands. “I thought you both might be hungry. Kaede also wanted me to offer you use of her home for as long as you need to recover fully. Any number of families have offered her shelter in the meantime.”
“Keh, thanks,” he managed weakly. He flicked his ear back as he heard Kagome say his name inside. “She’s waking up.”
Sango just nodded and then left him. He went back inside to find her sitting up. She smiled at him when he came in. He set the pot down and grabbed a couple of bowls. He handed one to her and kept the other for himself. He looked at her, really looked at her as he started to eat and his chopsticks fell from his hands as he realized that she was wearing his haori and nothing else. More than that she hadn’t even tied it closed so that could see the delicious vale between her breasts. His eyes traveled downwards, settling at last on the dark hair at the apex of her thighs.
She laughed and he blinked. “See something you like?”
He growled and set his bowl aside. She squealed as he pounced on her, but wrapped her arms around him and welcomed him into her body just as she had always welcomed him into her heart.