InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Lost Memories ❯ Mates? ( Chapter 2 )

Welcome to chapter two of Lost Memories! I hope you continue to read and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own InuYasha or His Friends

Chapter 1 recap: This did not go unnoticed by the hanyou. He could sense her emotions much better then before. She's worried about something. That much he knew. What he didn't know though, what was she worried about? Does she know he connected them in the closest way possible? Does she know that she can never be with anyone else in this time? Does she know that she can go back home and live a normal life with a human? And if she doesn't know that last part, then is that why she's so sad and worried? She is worried she can't get back home now. Now his own eyes seem to show that of being worried. He doesn't want her to go, but if that's what she truly wants, he will stand by her. No matter what.

"We have to talk about what happened, Kagome. We need to talk about last night.."

0o0

Chapter 2: Mates?

The moment that Kagome was dreading, is now happening. She and InuYasha have to talk about it. About what they did. Awkward could be used to describe it, but this feels much worse than that. This is absolute embarrasement. It may not feel as embarrasing if she could just remember the exact events that occured. Sadly, she can't, and so that brings these questions in her head over and over again. Does InuYasha remember? If he does, does he regret it? Regret being with her in such an intimate way? Regret their time together? Regret ever even meeting her? So many questions flooding her mind. It's making her feel as though she's going to go insane from her own thoughts.

Kagome looks back at InuYasha and pushes all those thoughts out of her mind for now. She needs to hear what he has to say first. She doesn't say anything but she nods her head as if to say, 'continue.'

He takes the nod as a positive reply. Now he can speek to her about what he is thinking. The issue is, how is he even going to say it? He has a hard enough problem speaking about his true feelings. How is he going to mention the mark he left on her? How is he going to tell her what it means? How could he possibly let her go? .. He knows he needs to. He needs to let her go back to her time to be with a human. A human that could make her happy and feel loved. He is not worthy of someone so perfect. He knows that. He has always known that fact. Yet another reason this is so hard. If she does want to stay in his era, which is a very big if. Then it would be for Sango, Miroku, Shippo and all of their friends they have made along this very difficult journey. That also means, she would never be able to be happy with someone she loves. Since his mark is now a permenant symbol of their mating, she would either have to be with him or be alone. He doesn't want to put her through such an unhappy life.

InuYasha takes in a deep breath and looks back into the brown eyes of the raven haired priestess. "K-kagome .." He stops, unable to form the words that need to be said. How should he even begin this conversation? He looks away from her again.

Now Kagome is getting extremely worried. InuYasha is the one who came looking for her. He found her and talked to her. Why isn't he saying anything now? What is he thinking? Now, more questions forming in her head. She has never felt so shut out from him. Usually she can easily say what she's feeling, other then the part where she is in love with him. But when something happens and she is upset with him, she never fails to let him know. So why is now any different? 

Kagome decides, enough is enough. If they are going to have this conversation, she is going to have to be the one to initiate it. She takes a breath in, just as InuYasha had done, and spoke up. "You're right. We definitely need to talk about last night."

InuYasha looks back into her eyes, surprised. The way she had looked at him before, had so much sadness and regret. Now, her eyes seem to be fueled with determination. Determination for what though? He can't seem to tell.

"Yes, we do." He didn't want to immediately talk about the mark that lies apon her skin now. He thought, maybe he should start with a simple question. One that would either add more questions to both their minds, or one that will provide some much needed answers. "Do .. Do you remember .. What happened?" He blushes a slight rose pink and looks away from her gaze.

Kagome was alittle surprised. InuYasha didn't remember either? So, that means he had to have figured it out on his own. Because InuYasha had looked away from her, she couldn't respond with just the shake of her head. She had to speak up. "No.. I .. don't." She pauses for a moment and sees his eyes gazing back into hers. Then she continues. "I .. sorta figured .. what happened though.." This was the first sentence she had spoken to him while looking directly into his amber orbs. Her face starts to turn as crimson as his Haori.

He is now extremely confused. He had started to think that the reason he didn't remember was because, maybe his demon half took over. Maybe the demon decided to take her as a mate because the hanyou was too afraid to do it himself. He had found Kagome looking so sad and regretful that he didn't know if what they had done, had even been consensual or not. He is glad that what his fears were, had not been the case. So that leaves even more questions. Why can't either of them remember? What is going on?

"K-kagome. I .. I'm sorry." He can't stop thinking about that mark on her shoulder. He can't stop thinking that this beautiful girl will be leaving him. He is so reluctant in tell her about that mark, that he just keeps apologizing instead of explaining. He can see it in her face that she has no clue what he is sorry for. He doesn't know how to even begin to explain it to her, but he knows he has to. She needs to make the decision. She needs to know the truth so she can just leave him for good and get it over with.

Kagome is getting pretty irritated now. Why is he just apologizing? Why doesn't he just explain what he is apologizing for? If neither of them remember, then what is there to appologize for? "Will you just tell me why you keep saying sorry?" This was her first full sentence because her anger and imppatientness is feuling her ability to speak and causing her to become less and less embarrased.

InuYasha smiles. He sees the spark in Kagome's eyes that seemed to have vanished before. She is loooking at him with such emotion that he had missed. He was afraid she would feel sadness and regret forever. Even if this new feeling is anger towards himself, he is still happy to see that spark in her eye. He didn't realize that he had zoned out, smiling at her.

Kagome is even more confused now. InuYasha isn't making any sense. He keeps saying sorry and talking in circles. They haven't gotten anywhere with this conversation yet and now he is just smiling at her like an idiot. "What are you smiling at?" She had finally said with her annoyed tone.

He shakes his head to get rid of the trance her eyes hold on him and began to speak. "I'm sorry that .. " He almost said it. Almost mentioned the mark he had left on her skin. Almost ended their friendship forever, but he just couldn't. How can he continue that sentence, knowing it may be the last conversation they ever have? He looks away from her again.

Kagome is now extremely annoyed. All embarrasement and any other feelings are being thrown away every single time this man in front of her says sorry and doesn't explain why. She is so close to sitting him but she doesn't want to fight. When they fight, they never talk it out. She'd end up running home and not get the much needed answers. She slowly breathes in and out, hoping her anger will subside. When she finally feels calm enough to speak, she asks again, "InuYasha. Please just tell me why you keep saying sorry. What are you sorry for?"

Knowing she is getting even angrier, he knows he has to say it sooner rather then later. He doesn't want her to leave in a rage before they get to talk. He looks back at her and finally continues his previous statements. "Kagome. I .. I don't remember last night either."

Kagome sort of figured this but her eyes still widened at that information. She now knows one hundred percent that neither of them remembers, but she doesn't understand why. How could both of them just forget such an act of intimacy?

After telling her about himself not remembering, he continues. "I saw your neck as you turned your head. Kagome .. I .. Marked you.." His face now resembles that of his Haori. He finally said it and now he is waiting for the innevitable. Kagome running away to never return to him. He sees her eyes show confusion, not hate or sadness. 'I'm an idiot.' He had thought to himself. How was he supposed to expect her to know what that even means? Not only is she a human, but she isn't even from around these times! How could he just expect to tell her that information and leave it at that? Now he has to explain some more. "I mean .. When we .. " He pauses, blushes and looks away before continuing. "When we .. got close .. I bit you." He looks back at her to see some more confusion in her eyes. "When a demon bites his .. mate .. the woman is now eternally bonded with him."

She opens her eyes wide as realization smacks her in the face. Now that he mentions it, she does seem to feel a little different. Not much, but she can feel a deeper connection to InuYasha. She had always felt connected to him. She loves him and always will, but this feeling is different. She can tell how he is feeling but she can't seem to put the pieces fully together yet. She wonders why that is. Kagome realizes that she hasn't responded and asks him a question. "So, we are mates? .. Bonded for life?" She doesn't know how to really feel about that. Sure she would love to be with InuYasha in that way, but not if he doesn't want it too. She starts to show noticeable signs of sadness apon her features. She is thinking, what if he is stuck with her now? What if she ruined his entire life? She wants nothing then him to be happy.

InuYasha sees the sadness in her eyes. It's so unbelievably obvious, he even sees that she isn't trying to hide her sadness. His ears start to sink down onto his head. She doesn't want to be with him like that. How could she? He is nothing. Just a worthless half demon. He can see it in her features. She is sad, and it's all because of him. Because of his stupidity. He doesn't want her to be tied down to him. He wants her to be happy with whoever that may be. Even though it's not with himself. He decided to tell her she can leave. If that's what she wants, he will understand and won't fight her on it. "Yes. You either have to stay with me as your mate. Or you can't have anyone else at all." He pauses again, trying to have enough courage to continue. He takes in another breath of fresh air and decides he should just come out and say it. "But.. if you were to go home, Kagome.. Back to your time.. you could be happy.. happy with a human." He looks away from her gaze once more, his ears flattening to his head. He finally told her what he did not want to. Now she will leave him forever.

Kagome is surprised. Not really by the information that he just gave her, but his expression he is showing. He is sad. Sad for what? Sad that she is stuck with him? Sad that he can't be with Kikyo? Just thinking of that name made her tear up.. Or, is he sad that she could go home and never come back? That last question came to her as a small symbol of hope. She didn't actually believe that was the case, but she still hoped it would be. "I see.." She managed to finally say.

InuYasha can't help but feel depressed. What is she thinking? What is going through her mind? Is she going to leave him? Is she going to stay in this era and be alone forever? Is he going to choose him? Just as Kagome was thinking of a little bit of hope for them, so was InuYasha. That question really sparked something in his heart. Then he realizes that Kagome hasn't even left the spot in front of him. She is not leaving? Why? "K-kagome.." He reaches his hand close to her, brushes her hair from her face and looks into her eyes.

Kagome looks at him with even more confusion then before. Why is he acting like this? Why isn't he telling her to leave and never come back? Why must so many questions flood her mind? She decided to tell him what she knows she needs to. "Inuyasha.. After we find the jewel shards and defeat Naraku.. I .. I'll go home.." She looks away from his amber orbs again. She only said those words to free him, to free him from her. She doesn't want to go home. How could she? She loves him. This is the only way for him to be happy.

Now he is really hurt. She is actually going to leave him. Why can't she just stay? How does he convince her to stay? If he tells her his feelings, she could either stay with him or leave him. "Is that .. Is that what you .. really want?" He doesn't want to force her to stay with him if she truly wants to leave.

Kagome darts her face back to look at him. Why did he just ask her that? Doesn't he want her to leave? What is going on inside his head? 'I wish I could just read his mind.' Yes, it's true they are bonded. She can sense his feelings and in turn, he can sense hers. They will know when the other is in danger or in need of the other on a very deep level when apart. But they cannot know what the other is thinking. Once Kagome leaves to go home, it will either destroy her, or set her free. Even InuYasha doesn't understand that her entire soul could be destroyed. "D-don't you want me to go?"

He figures if she is going to leave him anyway, what is the harm in just telling her. He could get it over with and the embarrassment will be over. In one swift motion, he grabs her into a fierce hug. He hopes to feel her embrace one last time before she leaves him forever.

Kagome gasps at the sudden effection from the hanyou. He is hugging her. Why? Is he doing this to say goodbye? Or is he trying to say he wants her to stay? There is no way he could be thinking that. Right? What could he be thinking? She wraps her arms around him and puts her face in his chest. If this is their last time being this close, she doesn't want to waste it.

"No.. I want you to stay. With.. Me, Kagome."

Authors Notes: How was chapter two? I hope you are enjoying this story! It seems to be pretty sad right now, but don't worry. Things should start to pick up soon. :D