InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ LOVE LIFE ❯ Know How You Feel ( Chapter 11 )

[A/N]

Yume: hehe, I guess I sort of left everyone hanging, huh? Sorry for the REALLY long delay, but I've been trying to focus on my schoolwork to pull up my grades. I know now there is only one solution: extra credit. Yup, that's all there is to it. Either that or summer school. (sulk)

CF: No one wants to listen to you whine, Yume!

Yume: Grrr, who feeds you???

CF: Just wait till CF gets a job!

Yume: You're not QUALIFIED to even get an application!

CF: GASP! Yume…that was a low blow…Anyway, recap time?

In the last chapter: Inuyasha finds out that Sesshomaru had planned on proposing to Kagome before it all went terribly wrong. Kagome is avoiding poor Sess, and is currently hiding out with Sango, contemplating what to do next, when…Who should conveniently be there to be the shoulder to cry on but Naraku?

CF: Now what? Chaos? More drama? And what will Sessho do? Read on! And CF requests Reviews!(grins)

[Disclaimer]: All life is suffering, or so says Buddha. And now, as I stand here, kind of…Inuyasha-less, I must say Buddha is most correct.

~@~

LOVE LIFE

By: Youkai Yume

Chapter 11: Know How You Feel

Sesshoamru sat in a depressed stupor, scowling with contempt for himself as he stared at his reflection in the liquid of alcohol before him. He picked up the glass, swirling the contents slightly and contemplating whether to drink it or not. His brother's face flashed in his mind for a second.

"Drowning yourself in booze is not gonna to help!" Inuyasha's chiding voice echoed in his head. Sesshomaru growled in his throat, and scoffed. 'To hell to Inuyasha. Since when did I listen to that baka anyway?' And with that, he downed the much-welcomed whisky, letting the alcohol burn his throat in a pleasant scorching sensation.

Already he could feel the image of Kagome's hurt face fade away just a little, but of course, it would take a lot more than just one shot of whisky before he wouldn't be able to feel anything at all. It was a luxury that he didn't allow himself to have often-getting drunk that is. He had always believed himself to be above drinking, and had always thought of the very act to be pathetic beyond compare. Only drunks and idiots went into bars to drown away their troubles.

But now, Sesshomaru found himself not quite caring, ordering another glass and drinking it in one gulp. It was quite effective actually, numbing the torment that plagued him for days now. He could see why so many indulged in drinking when depressed, despite the cliché-ness of it all. Sesshomaru groaned; he knew that sooner or later, he would sorely disagree with his poor judgement.

'Not a word of this to Inuyasha,' He thought disdainfully, dreading the hangover that was sure to come. He looked to the bartender, motioning for another glass. The man narrowed his eyes at Sesshomaru, and reluctantly filled his request.

"Hey, isn't it a little bit early to get drunk?" The bartender commented. Sesshomaru shot him an admonishing glare.

"What are you my fucking brother?" He spat, knowing that the effects of his drinks were beginning to emerge. He seldom cursed to strangers… He bartender sighed and handed him the glass.

"I see where this is going, trouble with a girl?"

Sesshomaru paused momentarily, his shoulders tense before he gulped that glass down too. The man smiled, knowing that he had hit right on the mark. He said nothing, turning to his shelves of various bottles. From the corner of his eye, he saw the young silver-haired man slump in his seat, muttering something over and over under his breath as he ran slender fingers through his tresses. It sounded vaguely like, "Kagome," he thought.

Grabbing something off of the shelves, he turned back to Sesshomaru and placed it on the table in front of him with a loud 'thump.' Sesshoamru looked up at the sudden sound. Golden eyes met with a glimmering, half-filled bottle of whisky. He glanced with dazed eyes up at the bartender, who shrugged at him.

"If it's girl troubles, I have a feeling that's what you want. On the house."

Sesshomaru stared at the bottle for a long time. It was like very tempting. He could try to let everything fade away with each swallow of its contents, trying to find happiness at the bottom of the bottle. Numbly, his fingers wrapped around it, pulling it towards his body. However, it seemed as if his hand was frozen after that, as if his conscience was not quite letting himself forget about everything…about HER.

His head was beginning to hurt, and he brought a finger to rub his temples. 'What the hell am I doing?' He growled at himself. 'Am I really this pathetic? Have the mighty truly fallen?' Sesshomaru felt his fingers loosen their hold on the whisky bottle. 'This won't solve anything…it won't bring Kagome back to me…Gods, Kagome. What would she think of me if she saw me like this?'

Almost ruefully, he let go of it completely, letting his hand dangle at his sides. The bartender, who had been watching him with mild interest, smiled broadly.

"First time I ever saw someone turn down free booze," He commented, taking the whisky and placing it back on the shelf, chuckling slightly. "A good thing too, catching yourself before you fell too far down. Don't want to end up like those poor blokes over there," The bartender nodded towards the other side of the bar, and Sesshomaru looked in his direction.

Huddled in the dark corners were scrappy looking men, drunk to the point of senseless bliss, and still they called out for more. And yet in their drunken stupor they seemed sorely miserable, at the pit of rock bottom. Yes, good thing he did catch himself before he became that pathetic. Heaven forbid.

He got up to leave, thankfully, not drunk enough to be walking crookedly, and just having enough sense to be courteous and use proper speech. He placed a generous tip on the counter, muttered a sincere, "thanks," and walked out the door.

The bright light of the early afternoon blinded him, and he covered his eyes, opting to walk in the shade. His mind was beginning to wander over to his lost lover again, and he sighed. If he was going to solve this, he was going to have to get to the root of the problem. Taking out his cell phone from his pocket, he squinted at the screen. After a long while, he finally punched in the numbers to his father's company.

~ @ ~

"So let me help you…Kagome," Naraku's sultry voice echoed in her ears with tempting comfort. Still, she couldn't help but feel a darker motive beneath his purr, and her mind began to race with panic as his crimson eyes pierced her own. He moved closer and closer to her, and she couldn't understand for the life of her, why she was so completely frozen. It wasn't until she felt his breath on her cheeks that she was aware of the situation.

Blinking rapidly, she took the papers that he had helped her collect from his hands and stood up just in time to avoid him.

"I-I appreciate it, Naraku-sensei. But I'll be fine, really," Kagome answered, looking away. Naraku mentally sighed in frustration. He had been so close, and in that one moment, her scent had completely intoxicated him. Yet she had escaped at the last second…the little vixen. Despite this, a satisfied smile was etched upon his lips as he saw her cheeks flush a furious pink.

"Well, if you ever need me…" He said slowly, wiping the smirk from his lips and replacing it with a mask of concern on his face. "Don't hesitate to come to me," He peered at her with hidden lust in his eyes, watching as she shifted uneasily on the spot.

Kagome found the courage to look at her professor in the eyes once more, and as soon as she did, a shiver ran down her spine, and it wasn't because of the air conditioning in the classroom.

"I…I have to go now," She quickly excused herself and walked right past him, almost sprinting for the door. Just before she was about o turn the doorknob and walk out, his silky voice called out to her again, making her freeze on the spot.

"I haven't seen that Taiyoukai boy with you, lately," Naraku commented casually. Kagome felt her heart throb at the very mention of Sesshomaru. She glanced over her shoulder at her dark professor, who had a thin smile playing across his lips. "I see…I sense that he is the cause of your distress?"

She could feel the beginning of tears prickling at her eyes. Kagome blinked them back furiously, glaring at Naraku. She didn't want to think about HIM, how he betrayed her, went into the arms of another. She didn't want to talk about how he lied straight in her face, how he falsely said that he still loved her as he held her tenderly in his arms and made love to her. And all the while, Naraku still had that disgusting grin on his face…as if he reveled in her misery, as if he KNEW about her pain, and took the uttermost JOY in it.

Kagome looked away from her hauntingly beautiful professor, not letting his crimson eyes consume her.

"It's none of your business," She said bitterly, almost angrily before walking out the door. Naraku leaned against his desk, chuckling to himself.

"Oh but it is my business," He whispered under his breath, feeling his blood boil beneath his hot skin. "Everything about you is my business…because you're mine, Kagome." The fiery look on her eyes flashed through his mind once more. 'She must be even more fiery in bed…' He mused.

"The game has only begun, my little darling. And rest assured, I don't like to lose."

~ @ ~

Everything around her seemed like a blur, her pace quickening with each step that she took. Kagome stepped out onto University grounds, taking a deep breath as the cool air hit her face. She had to keep her mind off of him, to calm down. 'Damn Naraku, I spent most of the week trying to forget about what Sesshomaru and he just has to undo everything…'

But then…her anger quickly melted away into deep sadness, and she slowly began plodding across the campus. She couldn't blame Naraku, Sesshomaru had been on her mind the entire time. By trying NOT to think about him, she only made things worse.

A twinge of guilt twisted in her gut upon remembering her sensei's face so close to her. It was so strange…it was almost as if…she wasn't one hundred percent sure, and the whole idea seemed ludicrous-but it seemed as if Naraku tried to kiss her.

And she had almost LET him, frozen as his crimson depths hypnotized her, drawing her into dark pools of red seduction. Kagome shuddered at the thought. It wasn't as if she was attracted like THAT to the man. He was her PROFESSOR for crying out loud! But whenever he looked at her like that, Kagome felt like she was naked under his gaze, and not in a good way like when Sesshomaru looks at her-and she had to stop there, a light blush on her cheeks.

Kagome felt like when she was around Naraku, he could see her flaws and weaknesses, her vulnerability, and it made her uncomfortable. Simply because she had the feeling her professor was one to exploit and manipulate them to his own liking. Heck, she figured he must be an expert at it. 'He's a PSYCHOLOGY teacher for heaven's sake.

In a small way, when she saw Naraku come near her and talk to her like that…she felt almost as if she was betraying Sesshomaru. She mentally shook herself. 'Baka, you can't betray him because you're not with him anymore,' Kagome reminded herself almost painfully. 'He betrayed YOU, remember?'

Kagome lifted her hand, staring at it with a deep intensity. It was the same hand that struck her lover across the face in a moment of blind fury and hurt. At the time, she had wanted to hurt him just as much as he had hurt her.

And now…The girl quickly let her hand fall to her side once more. Now…she only felt guilt and regret. He had looked so shocked, so completely broken when she slapped him that it made her wonder if she was the one wrong. 'Did it make you feel better?' An internal voice said from within. 'Were you happier after you did that?'

"He deserved it," She whispered to herself, a stinging sensation in her eyes. And yet, her voice faltered with every word that left her mouth. For a moment, she felt like she was lying to herself. Kagome let out a long sigh; passing by the coffee shop that she had first ran into Sesshomaru when she arrived.

He had been so happy when he found out, she had a hard time believing that it was all an act just to get her into bed with him. After all, Kagome had to admit that Sesshomaru could have any girl he wanted, why would he go through all the trouble just for her? Especially if he had been engaged to be married with one hell of a finer woman than she?

Ah, shit, she was making herself feel worse. But she couldn't find it within herself to stop it. Mainly because… 'Because I'm running from it…' Kagome knew it this problem wouldn't just go away, and that somehow, this wasn't the end of her drama with Sesshomaru.

'Sesshomaru wanted to tell me something that night,' She thought. She knew there was something that he had been pleading with her with, but never got the chance to say in the confusion of everything else. 'Should I get talk to him again?' Kagome bit her lower lip. The truth of the matter was, she wasn't afraid of facing Sesshomaru. She was afraid of facing the truth. What if it wasn't some big misunderstanding, and Sesshoamru really did use her as some sort of toy? Would she even listen? 'You didn't that night…'

Before she could agonize of the situation further, her phone ("Simple and Clean" ring tone, her favorite song) went off. Kagome took one look at the caller I.D. 'Inuyasha.'

~ @ ~

He lay sprawled on the couch, his hair a ruffled mess as he stared blankly at the TV screen. Inuyasha flipped through the channels, his movements almost robotic as he pressed the "next channel" button continuously. Finally, he tossed it down on the coffee table with a loud "clack" and let out a groan.

"Oh my God, 300 channels and nothing good to watch!" He whined to no one in particular. Inuyasha let out a sigh, sitting right side up again, and scratching his head. To be honest, the root of his distress wasn't the fact that there wasn't anything to watch on cable. No, it was because that earlier that day, he had called Kagome to see how she was doing.

Inuyasha knew he didn't want it to seem that he was trying to bridge his brother and Kagome's relationship by being the middle man, so he didn't touch the subject of…that night. Truth be told, the boy didn't even think about it when he called her. Kagome had been gone for a week, and he had been thoroughly worried for his best friend. Or…perhaps he was simply missed her and was just being selfish.

He noted that ever since Kagome came back, he barely had any time with her to himself. She had always been with her brother, with the rest of the rest of the gang, or in class. The last time he spent any real alone time with Kagome was the first day when she came back, and he took her out to breakfast. And even that was cut short when Sesshomaru came and took her away.

'Hn, now that I think about it, she never even spent a night in our dorm room,' Inuyasha thought. He glanced over the couch over to Kagome's space. Her bags remained unopened, and unpacked. He had yet to find out what it would be like to have Kagome as a roommate. Inuyasha sighed. He had suspected that she would come back to the dorms to get her things at least.

The boy guessed that she probably borrowed clothes and even books from Sango. He chuckled a bit when he thought of Kagome staying with her. Miroku had complained to him countless times over the week about how Sango had temporarily "banned" him from visiting her until Kagome was feeling better. Inuyasha had promptly pointed out that he had always been banned from visiting Sango in her dorm room in the first place. Pain and usually a large lump on his head followed afterwards.

Speaking of which, when he had spoken to Kagome over the phone, she didn't seem to be any happier about the situation. She was avoiding the subject of Sesshomaru as well. But he felt slightly warm when he heard how glad Kagome sounded when she heard from him. Like…like she missed him too.

It was a wonderful feeling…knowing that you'd be missed. Remembered. It was the first time for him. After all, Kikyo had never once given him any sign that she missed him. Inuyasha's vague smile turned into a frown when he thought of his overseas girlfriend. 'I wonder what Kikyo is doing now…'

A knock sounded at the door, and Inuyasha perked at the sound. 'Wonder who it is…Better not be Miroku again…' He scowled. Walking over to the front door, he opened it. His expression of annoyance quickly turned into that of mild surprise.

"Hey, Inuyasha. Miss me?" Kagome gave a small smile.

"Kagome! What are you doing here?"

"Well, last time I checked, I sort of live here. Roomies, remember?" She pointed out; stepping inside the dorm while Inuyasha shut the door.

"I know that," He grumbled, "I just…I thought you were staying with Sango."

Kagome went quiet for a minute, looking around the room with a sad expression on her face. Inuyasha knew immediately what she was thinking about. She wrung her hands behind her back, twisting at the hem of her skirt.

"I…decided I shouldn't bother Sango too much anymore. I mean, I can't be the whiny, crybaby friend forever, now, can I?" She looked back at him, a strained smile on her face as she joked with false laughter. Inuyasha knitted his eyebrows together. He didn't like it when Kagome pretended to be happy; it just went to show him how sad she really was. "So, I figured, it was time I came and bothered you instead."

He shook his head, putting a hand on Kagome's shoulder comfortingly.

"You're not a burden, you know."

Kagome laughed weakly.

"You're starting to sound like Sango."

Inuyasha huffed.

"What's that supposed to mean? Hey, if you're expecting me to stay up late at night and talk about boys and do each other's hair, you've got another thing coming!"

"Aw, but you have such pretty hair to play with…" Kagome joked. She looked into her room, where her bags lay on the bed. Still the same as when she had first arrived…she sighed heavily upon seeing them. 'I guess I got so caught up in the drama, I completely forgot to unpack.' Numbly, she went over to them and started to take her clothes out, not paying attention to Inuyasha standing in the doorway.

"So…why'd you come back?" He asked slowly, "Not that I'm not glad to see. I was kind of worried…"

"I know, I didn't mean to worry you," Kagome admitted, putting her neatly folded clothes in the closet. "I don't know, I guess I decided that I shouldn't try to run from my problems," She said, her words holding an air of uncertainty. "And I suppose, running away from here was the first step. I figure, I should start to face my fears, and fix things by first coming back."

Inuyasha listened intently to her as she spoke. He guessed it made sense, but he wasn't listening to her the entire time, he just simply stood there, and stared at her. He noticed, to his displeasure, that Kagome was thinner than usual, and her skin seemed a bit paler. But the most noticeable was the loss of the glimmer in her eyes. Kagome was still very much hurt over Sesshomaru's "betrayal."

He silently cursed his brother for being so careless with this delicate creature, to cause her even an ounce of pain, even though he knew that it was unintentional. Inuyasha sighed, scratching his head while continuing to watch her as she unpacked. He knew he was being unfair. Sesshomaru loved Kagome more than anything, and hurting her was the last thing that he wanted to do.

But…dammit, he DID hurt Kagome though, and a little part of the selfish Inuyasha was bitter towards him for it. After all, this was Kagome. She was his childhood best friend…and perhaps, he considered someone much deeper than a friend, he just wasn't sure how deep it went. He had never confided in anyone as much as he had Kagome, not even Kikyo. And it was because of how close he held her to his heart that he was somewhat of the overprotective "big brother" when it came to Kagome.

"You know I'll always be here for you," Inuyasha said softly, pleased when a weak smile tugged at her lips. But just as quickly it went away, only to be replaced with a slightly accusing look.

"You knew all along, didn't you? About…Kagura?"

A prolonged pause, then…

"I won't lie to you. Yes, I did know."

A hurt look crossed Kagome's features, her brow furrowing in thought or anger, he wasn't sure.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She started in a more harsh tone. "You could have saved me a lot of heartache you know."

Inuyasha grimaced slightly. It was true, he could have kept Kagome from being so broken about it, but…he knew he very well couldn't go against Sesshomaru's wishes, especially when he had seemed so intent on the matter. He sighed.

"Kagome, I have my reasons. But I swear I never wanted to hurt you. I would never…" Inuyasha stopped himself, a light blush on his cheeks as he realized what he said might sound like it held certain implications. "And, my brother never meant to either!" He added quickly. Kagome looked away, an unreadable expression on her face.

"Oh, I see, he never INTENDED to cheat on me. He didn't mean to fall in love with someone else. He swore he FORGOT to mention this to me the whole time, letting me keep my little fantasies in my head!" She spat out bitterly. Inuyasha growled, getting a bit frustrated with her. He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her lightly.

"Dammit, Kagome! It's not like that!"

"Then tell me how it is, Inuyasha!" Silence. "I…I don't want to believe it…I don't want it to be true…Please tell me…"

She gazed at him with sorrowful eyes; a deep blue compared to his shining amber. It made knots form in his stomach, and at that moment, he wanted nothing more than to comfort her. To her surprise, he wrapped his arms around her in a loose hug, holding her gently against himself in a comforting embrace.

"…Gomen, Kagome. But…I can't…not now…" She tensed in his arms. "You have to understand, I want more than anything to make this all better, Kagome; for you and Sesshomaru. But I told you before. It's not my place…It's my brother's secret, and I promised him that he would be the one to tell you."

Kagome sighed, her arms coming up to return Inuyasha's hug.

"I can't say that I'm happy about it…" She said slowly, torment evident in her voice. "But I understand. I guess we put you in a compromising situation, ne?"

"Ya think?" He gave her a smile. The same, cocky and boyishly handsome smile that he had always given her. Yet despite the arrogance so plainly on his face, the gesture held such warmth that she had no other choice but to forgive him. "Things will be alright, okay? Just trust me on this one."

Kagome pulled away from his embrace and nodded solemnly. She wanted to believe that everything would be all right. In fact, since she was a child she had always believed that all of her problems would turn out just fine. But then again…she had never been in love when she was a child.

Almost in an exasperated manner, she plopped onto the bed, lying on her back with arms spread out on the mattress and eyes glued to the ceiling. Inuyasha watched her thoughtfully as she blew at her bangs despondently.

"I never thought it would be so complicated," She commented. "This whole love bit. Just when you think everything is so utterly perfect everything goes wrong!"

"Kagome…" Inuyasha started, his tone filled with sympathy.

"How…I want to know, Inu-chan, how do you know that you'll still love someone tomorrow. What if the feelings you had for one person yesterday, aren't the same feelings you have for them today? How do you know you won't grow apart? Or that when you say 'I love you' to someone, it'll be the right person? The only person?"

She felt her bed dip down slightly with the weight of another body. Inuyasha sat next to her, running his hands through unkempt silver hair.

"I know what you mean."

"You do?" Kagome sat up, staring at him. He grinned at her half-heartedly.

"How's Kikyo been doing?"

"Oh…" Kagome responded; it suddenly dawned on her that Inuyasha knew exactly how she felt. He was going through it too, except he didn't get to the reunion stage yet. She knew that her older cousin had moved to England to go to school as soon as high school ended. 'I guess I never noticed…' A frown set on her lips.

"Wait, Kikyo? Shouldn't you know? Doesn't she ever contact you?"

Inuyasha let out an exasperated sigh at this, shaking his head. He stood up from the bed, and began pacing the room, his demeanor suddenly changing into that of irritation.

"NO! I haven't heard a WORD about the girl. You'd THINK that your girlfriend would care enough to give you a phone call, send a little letter, e-mail or mail! Just to say 'Hi?' I mean-" Inuyasha continued to fume over it, and Kagome watched him as the frustration grew in him. "And she can't use the whole, 'My cell phone minutes, crap,' YOU GET FREE WEEKEND MINUTES! Long distance included! It wouldn't take up all of her minutes just to call in and say, 'I miss you, love ya!' Jesus Christ!"

Inuyasha was practically out of breath when he was done, breathing deeply as he tried to calm himself.

"Wow, Inuyasha, I never knew you cared about that kind of stuff…the call to say 'I love you,' thing…" She said, shocked. She had never seen her best friend so serious and passionate about anything before.

"I didn't think I would either," He confessed, slumping back on the bed. "It's just…it would be nice, you know? Just to know that you're missed, just to know…like you said earlier, if she still loves me or not." Kagome nodded, her heart going out to Inuyasha. It must be so hard for him. At least when she had been away from Sesshomaru, he had written back once in a while. It was torture being away from the one that you care so much for, and not knowing what's going on with them.

He gazed at the ceiling.

"You think…she still remembers me, Kagome?" He asked, his voice uncertain. Kagome furrowed her eyebrows together.

"I won't lie to you and tell you that she does. Because the truth is, I know just as much as you do. Kikyo is a person who likes to keep to herself, and as you know, she and I aren't that close to begin with. I haven't heard anything from her either."

Inuyasha sighed.

"Figures…"

Moments later, he felt Kagome rest her head on his shoulder, a light giggle resounding in his ear. He blushed a bit at her nearness, but ignored it all the same.

"Why does this whole relationship thing have to be so hard?" She murmured, her words hinting a sign of her weariness.

"I don't know. Maybe we'll figure it out someday." He looked down at her head of raven hair, "and you'll be back with Sesshomaru-"

"Can we," She interjected. "Can we figure it out some other day?" Kagome looked up at him with pleading blue eyes, and he all but gave in. He knew they had been on the subject too long, and he also felt guilty that no matter where their conversations went, it always went back to his brother. It was another reason he had to add on his, "Why Sesshomaru pisses me off" list.

Outside, the sun was beginning to set, and the room was beginning to glow with a warm orange light. He could tell Kagome was beginning to doze off, and it was then that he was made aware of the situation he was in.

Here he was, on Kagome's bed, WITH Kagome, his brother's girlfriend-well, ex-girlfriend, but it's ONLY temporary! But…she was his best friend right? It shouldn't be too akward…right? Best friends are allowed to be close? Ah, but there's a line. Shit. Why was he even contemplating this? It's not like he felt like THAT for Kagome! What's the big deal if she snuggles with him (mind you, it's unconsciously)? She probably hugs and snuggles with Sango too… (no, not like that, he chided himself for the thoughts). Wait…Miroku is a close friend, she doesn't snuggle with HIM! Well, maybe because he was a complete and total pervert and wouldn't hesitate to grope a girl at the first chance he gets, Sango or no.

"Soooo tired…" Kagome yawned. Shit. Shit. What if his brother was to walk through the door RIGHT NOW? (gulp) 'I had so hoped not to die a virgin…' Inuyasha favored himself an idiot. He shouldn't even be thinking about these things. He had a GIRLFRIEND! Kikyo, remember?

"Pillow…" Kagome mumbled to herself, though she was more asleep than aware at the things coming out of her mouth. Her sakura blossom scent was strong, seeing as his nose was right next to her hair…she sort of looked cute in her sleep…

'Kikyo who?' He shook his head. Still…he wanted to comfort Kagome, seeing as even in sleep, her face shown with her silent pain. 'Just a friend, just a friend,' he thought. Yeah, it's not so bad…he sort of liked having Kagome here…it shouldn't be too terribly compromising had it not been in, again, KAGOME'S BED!

'BAD INUYASHA! STOP WITH THE THOUGHTS! STOP! ACK!!!!' He decided to get out before anymore uncomfortable thoughts came to his head. Inuyasha sat up so abruptly that it woke Kagome up from her very short nap. When she opened her eyes drowsily, Inuyasha was on his feet and going for the doorway.

"Inuyasha?"

Freeze.

"What are you doing in my room?"

Sweatdrop.

"Uh…huh?"

"I thought you left a long time ago. Don't tell me you came in here to spy on me!"

Inuyasha glanced at her with a dazed look on his face. 'She really was out of it!'

"I wasn't doing anything, okay? I just…forgot something…" He said lamely. Kagome shrugged, yawning once more.

"Well then, I guess I'll take a quick hot shower and then go to sleep," She gathered some clothes from her halfway packed bag and proceeded to the bathroom, walking past a disoriented Inuyasha. Kagome glanced backwards at him, not sure why he was suddenly so distressed. 'Hm, must be more worried about Kikyo than I thought.'

She sympathized with him. Love really hurt; that was no lie. She just hoped Kikyo didn't do anything to hurt Inuyasha. 'Like…' Her mind wandered to Sesshomaru again, the man with silken silver hair that tickled her bare skin as he hovered over her. The man whose kisses could melt chocolate-but it would melt her a lot faster. Although she couldn't get his confession of him being engaged out of her head, she couldn't help it…she still loved him. Perhaps she was just a naïve little girl like they said all this time. Or perhaps she was just, and always will be the hopeless romantic that hung onto her prince charming.

Another sigh escaped her lips. She had been doing that a lot lately. 'I really need that bath.' Kagome turned back to Inuyasha, who was still rooted in the doorway, looking at her intently. She gave a weak smile.

"Hey, don't worry about Kikyo. Like you told me, things will be alright." With that, she closed the bathroom door shut. Inuyasha shook his head, leaving her room, his head filled with new worries.

"It's not Kikyo I'm worrying about…It's…"

"Inuyasha!" Kagome's voice called out from the bathroom, "You're living with a girl now, so if I ever see the toilet seat up, YOU'VE GOT HELL TO PAY!"

He chuckled; his problems momentarily vanished. 'At least she's feeling a little better.'

~ @ ~

The paper lay crumpled on his immaculately neat desk, the scribbled numbers barely readable through its wrinkles. He sat, seemingly relaxed against his chair, though inside, conflict waged. His brow was creased in deep thought, as he breathed in deeply. In his palm was his cell phone, which had remained flipped open for quite a while now.

Sesshomaru glanced outside the window, down at the streets where the lights were beginning to light up over the darkened sidewalks. The street was empty, not a soul in sight. After a few moments of staring blankly out his window, two darkened figures were visible under the streetlights. A young couple, walking hand in hand and laughing at perhaps sweet nothings were taking an evening stroll.

The sight sickened him. It sickened him because the scene was just so sweet and romantic. The two seemed so completely perfect for each other, skipping off into the distance to a world full of sunshine, buttercups, and rainbows while cheesy love songs played like a broken record in the background.

Sesshomaru turned away, choosing to turn his attention back to his cell phone. Perhaps he was being just a tad bitter? He growled silently to himself. He didn't care, he was allowed to sulk. After all, if that Kagura woman hadn't showed up…if he had gotten a chance to explain before she did…then maybe he didn't think the scene of the two loves walking hand in hand to be too entirely sickening. In fact, he probably would have favored, except the only difference would be that the couple would be himself and Kagome.

Would things really have been different? Would she have accepted his explanation wholeheartedly, and be here with him? Perhaps having dinner…doing…other things… Would she be in his arms as they lay naked, under the moon's glow, Kagome bare to him save for the glittering silver ring that adorned her finger?

He shook himself of these painful thoughts, once more chiding himself for making his own life miserable. Of course, Sesshomaru knew he had to start fixing the problem. He picked up the crumpled piece of paper with the phone number. On top of the digits, there was the name, "Kagura Takera." He glared at it.

Earlier, he had called into his father's company. Not directly to his father of course, for if the man knew what he was planning to do, he'd never let him have what he wanted. Instead, he called one of his father's personal assistants, Jaken. The little man had been reluctant himself to give Sesshomaru the number, but the sly man knew that Jaken was just as loyal to him as he was to his father.

After much digging, he had come up with Kagura's number, which he obtained by getting little snidbits from Shikon Corp. He had spent the majority of the day contemplating whether or not to call his supposed fiancé. To be honest, he wasn't looking forward to it. With a final breath, he finally dialed her number.

It began to ring…for several moments. Sesshomaru waited with baited breath, almost nervous for what was to come. Almost. It clicked on, and a cold, female voice rung out in his ears.

"Kagura speaking. Hurry up, don't got all day."

He narrowed his eyes at hearing her tone.

"Ms. Takera?" He asked in a rigid tone.

"Yeah, who is this?"

"This is Sesshomaru Taiyoukai, of Western Lands Incorporation," He paused, "Your quote on quote, "fiancé."

There was a thick silence that followed after; he could feel the tension beginning to build.

"…I see, so you're the one I'm supposed to be engaged to."

Was it just him, or did he sense a bit of bitterness in her voice?

"So, what do you want? I'm guessing it's not to get to know me better."

"It's about the arrangement." A scoff could be heard on the other side.

"You want to talk about it? Right now?"

"Yes, but I believe that speaking of it now would be fruitless."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't care how you feel about the situation, but I for one, will not go through with it," Sesshomaru said icily. "So you see, if you were to ever attempt to compromise with me, you would gain nothing."

He could tell that Kagura was shocked, but not so much as to be rendered speechless.

"You care nothing for the company? The money? You know, we don't have to love each other."

Sesshomaru growled at this.

"I told you before, I won't change my mind. I refuse to marry someone that I have never met, someone that I don't-"

"Love?" The woman finished for him with a tone of finality. Sesshomaru remained silent, the grip on his cell phone tightening. After a long while, he could hear a chuckle, then what seemed to be laughter. He grew angry at this. Was this wench mocking him? Did she question his motives? But before he could accuse her of anything, she spoke.

"You know, for people who have never met, you and I sure think alike."

"What?" Sesshomaru asked in a monotone voice, though highly confused. He could tell she was probably smirking on the other line.

"I have no intention of marrying you either."

Relief, warm blissful, all consuming relief engulfed him. Sesshomaru felt like a heavy weight was lifted from his shoulders, and he couldn't help but let out a relieved sigh when she said the words. His death grip on his phone loosened, and he leaned against his wall, staring once more outside the window, this time at the moon. Kagura was still chuckling in his ear, and at the moment, he felt like smiling too. Good thing he didn't.

"Out of curiosity, why?"

"…For the same reasons as you, I guess," Kagura answered, her once cold voice now sincere.

"You love someone else," Sesshomaru stated, golden eyes glimmering in the darkness in satisfaction.

"Quick, aren't we?" Kagura said coyly, "But seeing as how confident you are with that answer, I have to conclude that you have someone special as well, don't you?"

"Let us get to the matter at hand," He replied, avoiding the subject for surely, talking about Kagome now would hurt. "It is confirmed that you and I have broken off the engagement, but it won't be as easy as that."

"No, it wouldn't," Kagura agreed. "Our fathers would probably chain us to the alter, no doubt."

"Indeed, we are signed under contract."

"Nothing I can't handle," She said breezily, "If both parties agree to end it, the contract would be null and void."

"But we don't have the contract, our parents might keep it away from us just to prevent that from happening," Sesshomaru pointed out.

"I have my ways. I'll get it, don't worry your snobby little head, Sesshomaru."

"Snobby?" He snapped. "Look who's-"

"Tsk. Tsk. You're just as temperamental as your brother. But enough about that. We just need a rendezvous point, and we can clear this whole thing up. I'll get the contract, so all you have to do is show up," Kagura finished with an air of confidence.

"When and where?" Sesshomaru urged. He wanted to end this as soon as possible, so he could fix things up with Kagome. The anxiety was eating away at him.

"Hmmm, I suppose I'll have to call you about that. When I acquire the stupid contract, I'll set up the time and date. I can't wait to get this bullshit over." With that, the woman hung up without saying so much as a "goodbye."

Sesshomaru sighed, running hands through silver locks. He tossed his phone onto his desk, and walked slowly to his bedroom. Slowly, he let the weariness of his day fall upon him, and he fell back upon the mattress, his silver hair splayed against the sheets.

As he rested his head upon the pillow, he noted that it smelled of sakura blossoms…of Kagome. Sesshomaru inhaled deeply, letting his love's scent fill his senses with a deep, longing, an insatiable passion. A smile graced his lips despite his torment, as he let his hand glide over the space where Kagome once lay beside him.

'Soon, it will be all over, and then…' He rolled onto his back, the dazed look in his eyes not once leaving his features. Then he could reclaim her as his own, to renew his love for her. He wanted to claim her in ever way a man could claim a woman. He had but to wait.

Did he ever mention he wasn't a very patient person?

End Chapter

~ @ ~

[A/N]

Yume: Please don't kill me! I know this has been a long time coming, and this chapter hardly makes up for the wait. And not to mention, DEEPLY sorry about the Inu/Kag fluff. Necessary for the plot, love triangle…or is it square now? Yeah….

CF: TOO MANY PEOPLE! (runs off clutching head) MAIGRAINE!

Yume: And for that, I suggest, Advil! (smiles) Ah, but there is more, is there not?

CF: Oh yeah! Kikyo!

Yume: I know I promised Kikyo was going to be in this chapter, but I guess this chappie wrote itself…

Next Chapter!

Sesshomaru and Kagura meet up for the first time to try to solve their problems. In the meanwhile, Naraku seems to be getting a little impatient with Kagome, and decides he should perhaps change tactics… Kikyo flies in from England for a visit, and with her arrival, Inuyasha is forced to sort out his feelings.

Yume: That's it for now, I'm sorry I would love to update a lot more often, but my grades have really been suffering, and alas, school should come first. I need to get my priorities straight.

CF: THANKS FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS! Don't forget! CF loves you all just THAT much more if you review again! No flames please! We know it's hard, but Yume would like you to refrain. ^_^ 0