InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Love Reigns Down ❯ What Are Your Beliefs? ( Chapter 3 )

Kagome was absently twirling her hair when the bitter taste of eraser brought her out of her musings. Pulling the pencil away from her lips, she looked down in disgust. Ewww… Shaking her head, she reached for a bottle of water to wash the rubbery taste out of her mouth. Glancing around the room, she suddenly realized that she was alone in the lab.

It was rare that the department was deserted like this. Usually the place was bustling with activity, youkai and humans alike streaming in and out.

Humming softly to herself, she stood up and stretched. She gave an inward groan as her skirt made a sticky sound as it separated from the leather chair. Ugh. Not only was her forehead beaded with sweat, but there was sweat in places she didn’t even want to think about. It was stifling hot in the lab today. She looked wryly at the thermostat which normally regulated the air flow, but the new security system Sesshomaru was putting in place put all heating cooling units out of commission for the day. Why didn’t she remember the memo that was issued last week stating that very fact? Wiping her brow, she blew air into her bangs, fanning herself to keep the heat at bay. She only succeeded in making herself hotter. Looking around at the deserted lab, she shook her head. No wonder her staff wasn’t around.

And where was Kazuki? He had made a brief appearance early in the morning and she hadn’t seen him since. She had asked him about the meeting he had yesterday with Sesshomaru and General Matsumoto, but he evaded her questions and proceeded to spend the rest of the morning scowling at no one in particular. She had never seen him in such a foul mood and could only assume it was a result of the meeting. He was definitely avoiding the subject with her. She frowned. She just hoped he wasn’t avoiding her. Maybe he was just getting relief from the heat like everyone else. Pushing aside her papers, she thought she would do the same. With those thoughts in mind, she went to seek a nice glass of cold green tea and to hunt down her research partner.

-x-x-x-x-

It took Kagome twenty minutes to finally track Kazuki down, asking every youkai she encountered if they had seen him. Following their leads, she finally found him outside at a picnic table turned make-shift desk, elbow deep in work. Without youkai senses, she was lucky she had found him, partly hidden as he was amidst the trees, furiously typing away at his laptop. “So this is where you’ve been hiding.”

Kazuki looked up, startled. He was so concentrated on his work that he didn’t notice her approaching. “Yeah, it’s too damn hot inside.” He closed his laptop as Kagome slid into the seat across from him.

“What are you working on?”

A ghost of smile appeared on his face. “It’s a secret. I could tell you, but then I have to kill you.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Ha-ha. Very funny. Seriously.”

Giving her a look she could not fathom, he said, “Just a project.”

“Just a project? When do you work on just a project, hmmm?” Her grin was quickly replaced by a worried expression when he gave her a tired smile. It was then she finally noticed that his eyes were glazed with fatigue and his shoulders lined with tension. How did she missed the tell tale signs of exhaustion written all over his face? She was mildly alarmed to see him like this and asked, “Hey, are you okay?”

Rubbing his face tiredly, he said, “Yeah. I just didn’t sleep well last night. I guess I was a little cranky this morning.”

“Just a little, huh?” Reaching across the table, she grasped his hand. “Want to talk about it?”

Kagome watched her friend wordlessly when he didn’t answer. This was not like Kazuki. He was always the optimist, quick to joke and laugh. He was the one who made everyone else smile and to see him like this worried her. Kagome knew he needed an outlet for his frustrations – a friend to listen – so she kept silent, waiting patiently, allowing him to gather his thoughts.

Kazuki refused to meet her gaze, instead concentrating on his hand entwined in hers on the wooden surface.

What does The Takahashi Group do for the National Army? Kazuki chuckled darkly to himself as he followed Kagome’s thumb running lightly across his wrist. He had asked a Group representative once that very question when he first arrived in Japan. Curiosity had made him ask, but now he’s sorry that he did. Ignorance was bliss and he wished very much that he was still in the dark. That and the other worry that plagued him made him want to pound his fist into something. The mixture of frustration and helplessness was a feeling he was not accustomed to and he just didn’t know how to handle it. Normally he would talk it out with Kagome. She was such a soothing presence for him. She made him see reason and she was someone whom he could always bounced ideas off of, but in this case, she couldn’t help. Well, she could help, but he didn’t want to add the burden to her shoulders. She was blissfully happy and it wasn’t fair for him to destroy that. He would protect her as long as he possibly could.

Oh, but he so badly wanted to tell her. About everything. But, he rationalized to himself, he could tell Kagome about the meeting. After all, Sesshomaru was planning to bring her into the project at a later date. Hell, she was married to the owner. She would probably find out from Yash sooner or later, and if she was going to hear about it, it might as well be from him.

As if contemplating what to say, he hesitated before he lifted his eyes to hers. The resolve firm in his gaze, he proceeded to tell her about the meeting, leaving nothing out.

Kagome sat stunned as he finished. Even though she was married to the owner, gauging from her reaction, she had no idea the military contracts The Takahashi Group had. Her voice low, she finally said, “Wow.”

“Yeah, wow.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Now you know why I’m so upset about the whole thing. I can’t help feeling guilty because it was our transformation charm that initiated this project in the first place. And having Uncle Haru involved… hell, I don’t know anymore.” He raked a frustrated hand through his hair. “I didn’t sign up to be a military scientist, Kags. All I ever wanted to do was to help others and now I’m being asked to do this? It goes against everything I believe in.”

“Maybe it’s not as bad as you think it is. You don’t know if they’ll use this as a weapon. Surely your uncle won’t–””

His lips curled into a smile, but the light didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Let’s not sugar coat this, darling. They want an identity cloaking talisman and we’re to believe that they’ll use it for good? My uncle reassured me that everything was on the up and up. He told me things he knew I wanted to hear, but this is the Youkai Army we’re talking about. Led by my uncle. You don’t know him like I do. He’s… he’s a soldier. War-hardened fighter, no remorse, no mercy type youkai. The Army is his life. He’s not going to be using this to help hanyou babies, that’s for sure.”

“What are you going to do?”

Concern was evident in her voice and he gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “I really don’t have a choice, do I?” He tried to keep his voice light, but bitterness laced his words.

Kagome recalled a time where she stood at the edge of a well, those precise words pulsating through her head, her heart. What choice did she have? To go or to stay. It had been her choice then. She quietly tucked the memories back into her heart and looked at her friend. She knew that fate always played a role in their decisions, that no matter what they did, some invisible hand always seemed to guide them. Decisions. Actions. Consequences. Karma. Things always seem to come full circle. She, of all people, knew this to be true. But how to put these thoughts and feelings into words? She couldn’t, so she didn’t even try. Instead she said, “We all have choices, Kaz. All we can do is pray that we make the right one.”

“As scientists, don’t we try to live by that philosophy, Kags? Pray that we’re doing the right thing, day after day?” He squeezed her hand. “Thanks for the reminder, darling. But unfortunately, this time around the decision’s been made for me. They already have both technologies in their back pockets. They just need me and Juro to put it all together. If I don’t do it, they’ll just get someone else to and there’s no way in hell I’d let anyone tamper with our transformation charm.” He straightened his shoulders in determination. “It’s better this way. At least I can keep my eye out on what’s happening even if I can’t stop it.”

“And knowing you, Kazuki Matsumoto, you’ll make sure they keep on the straight and narrow.”

This time when he smiled at her, it reached his eyes. Even if it didn’t solve all of his worries, just talking to Kagome made him feel a million times better.

Kagome smiled brightly back, glad for the small indication that her friend’s mood was lifting.

The smile suddenly froze on his face and his whole body stiffened as he looked past her.

Twisting to see what he was staring at, Kagome followed his gaze to Sesshomaru entering the outside terrace with General Matsumoto and Juro in tow.

“Speak of the devil.”

“Are you talking about your uncle or Juro?”

Kazuki laughed, a genuine laugh that lifted Kagome’s spirits. “Honestly, I’m not sure who I’d rather deal with right now. I love Uncle and all, but… well, shit, he can be a hard youkai to deal with sometimes. And he’s family, so it’s not like I can brush him off. And Juro, hell, I don’t know how long I’ll last before I throttle him.”

“But can you work with him?”

“No,” Kazuki replied honestly. “But I will. It wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t always constantly putting hanyou down. He’s got a self-righteous stick shoved up his ass so deep that–”.

“InuYasha said that if he wasn’t such a great scientist, he wouldn’t be here,” Kagome interrupted before Kazuki went on a tirade about the other scientist. He was already riding a rollercoaster of emotions and she had just prevented his downward spiral a few minutes ago. She didn’t want his temper to flare now.

“I won’t argue that he’s good. It’s just too damn bad he’s so prejudice.”

She watched as the trio stopped under a section of trees, Juro talking animatedly “But he’s done so much good for the youkai community, you would think it would change him.”

Kazuki snorted. “He’s not like us, Kags. He doesn’t give a damn about who he’s helping out as long as he gets his reward in the end.” He shook his head in disgust. “Notice that he’s never taken on any hanyou projects? He’s a full blown youkai worshipping that uncontaminated bloodline and he’s not going to change.”

Kagome contemplated what he had said. She stared at Sesshomaru thinking of a time when all he wanted to do was eradicate his younger hanyou brother. “I knew a youkai like that once, but he changed,” she said softly. “No, I think you’re wrong, Kaz. Youkai can change. Even the most prejudiced ones.”

Kazuki was about to retort, but hesitated as he followed her gaze, watching as his Uncle Haru followed Sesshomaru down a stone path. “Yeah,” he agreed quietly. “You’re right, Kags. They can change.”

-x-x-x-x-

“Why didn’t you tell me about the project for General Matsumoto?” Kagome demanded of her husband as she stood in front of him, hours later, the bright lights of his office echoed out into the gloom of the night outside.

Yash looked up as his wife stormed into his office. “Because you didn’t ask.”

She opened her mouth in astonishment. “Because I didn’t ask? InuYasha!”

Watching his wife in such a snit almost brought a smile to his face, but he tampered it down and calmly said, “Kagome, the meeting happened yesterday. I didn’t get the chance to tell you yet. If you recall, we didn’t do much talking last night.” He cocked his brow at her as he reminded her of the delicious ways they had communicated instead.

“Oh.” Her anger deflated as she stood awkwardly in front of his desk.

Leaning back in his chair, he asked, “I take it Kazuki filled you in?”

Bringing up her friend ignited her disapproval again. “Yes, and I can’t believe you authorized such a project. The ethics–”

“This project is in the best interest of everyone.”

“How can it be the best interest of everyone if it’s for military use? Kazuki is really distraught over this. He thinks it’s a weapon. InuYasha, how can you condone such a thing?”

“Kagome, stop listening to that lab partner of yours,” he said firmly. His wife was loving and loyal and fiercely protective. If he was honest with himself, she was a lot like him, so Yash could understand her feelings. But dammit, she was his wife and the more she defended Kazuki, the more aggravated he got. It was still a sore spot between them, the way she always stood up for her partner, and it always seemed to flare the jealous rage in him when she did.

“But he’s my friend.”

“And I’m your husband,” he shot back.

Kagome flinched but stood her ground as they stared at each other, neither of them backing down until she finally looked away and quietly said, “I know.” The heat had gone out of her voice and when she sidestepped backwards as if to turn away, the scent of unshed tears filled his nose. Fuck.

His countenance softened as he went around the desk. She tried to scoot out of his reach, but he was too quick and before she could draw a breath, she found herself trapped between his legs as he leaned back against his desk.

Getting angry wouldn’t do either of them any good. He gently brushed the pad of his thumb across her cheek. “I don’t want to argue.”

She subconsciously ducked her chin down. Yash knew she was too strong-willed to intentionally make a submissive gesture like that, but the sight of it plainly said that she was yielding. The message was clear to him as if she had spoken the words out loud.

He gathered Kagome to him and simply held her.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her nose against his neck. Pride be damned when her husband was so warm and masculine and safe.

Feeling Kagome’s defiance fade, the last of Yash’s irritation died as well.

She snuggled against him and muffled into his shirt. “I’m sorry, InuYasha. I don’t want to argue either. It’s just been a really rough day.”

He kissed her lightly on the forehead before he said, “I’m sorry, too, but, Kagome, you have to realize that this company was founded to protect the interests of all youkai. We do what we must to survive in this world.” He flicked an ear at her. “You understand that, don’t you?”

Reaching up, she stroked the soft appendage between her fingers and said softly, “I do understand, InuYasha. But the Army’s going to use this–”

“Is that you or Kazuki talking?”

At her silence, he sighed and tried to reason with her. “Kazuki’s being irrational. He’s a youkai, working in a youkai company for the good of us all. He’s got a job to do and he should do it. Not whine like a baby when he doesn’t get his way.”

“InuYasha!”

“Ka-Go-Me.̶ 1; The slow way he pronounced each syllable of her name brought a resisted smile to her face. She furrowed her brows and tried to purse her lips, and he tried hard not to laugh at her feigned indignant look.

“Be nice,” she gently admonished. “Kaz is one of the most laid back, optimistic individuals I know, and he’s really upset over this project. We’ve been through some stressful times before, but I’ve never seen him like this.

“Fine, let him rant and rave to get it out of his system if he has to. But in the end, he still has a job to do.”

“But it doesn’t seem fair to ask him to do something he’s so dead set against.”

“Whoever said life was fair, Kagome? If it was, hanyou won’t have to hide behind disguises to be able to walk down the street. We wouldn’t have to fear for our lives if we got caught unawares. Ambushed, mobbed if we were ever found out. Hunted.”

She looked up at him, contrite written all over her face. Her voice small, she apologized. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean–.”

He pressed his finger to her lips. “I know you didn’t mean it, Kagome. But trust me on this. Sesshomaru feels this project is in the best interest of the company. If it wasn’t, he wouldn’t do it. No matter who’s asking. If he was against the project, not even the General could sway him. Sess has protected the interests of youkai for hundreds of years now. It’s why he has so much influence in the youkai world. They trust him because he’s built an empire to protect them and he has only the best working under him. The best researchers, the best doctors, the best scientists.” He gave her a gentle squeeze. “Even the best miko. Whether we like it or not, we have to remember that Sess has never steered this company wrong before. He won’t now.”

She squeezed him back. “Don’t be so modest, InuYasha. It’s your company, too. So half the credit you try so hard to heap on Sesshomaru should go to you, too.”

Warmth spread throughout his chest at the pride evident in her voice and expression. Her bright-eyed confidence in his abilities made him feel invincible, like he could do anything. He didn’t think he could love her any more than he already did, but when she looked at him like that, his heart swelled up with so much love he thought it would burst.

“I’m sorry for doubting, InuYasha. It’s just hard…”

“I’m not saying it’s not hard, Kagome. We’re always faced with tough decisions. Sometimes, we must do things we know are wrong because in the end it’s the right thing to do.”

He sounded so much like his older brother that she did a double-take.

“What?”

She shrugged. “Nothing.”

He grinned, reading her expression correctly. “Still getting use to me actually thinking before I speak?”

“No!” She grinned back as she protested. “More like trying to make sense of the infamous Takahashi cryptic talk.” She stuck her tongue out at him, making him burst out in laughter and hugging her tighter.

Fiddling with the beads on his necklace, she asked, “So you’re asking me to trust Sesshomaru on this?”

“No.” He pulled back and gently cupped her chin, locking eyes with her. “I’m asking you to trust me.”

“Oh, InuYasha, I do, you know I do.”

-x-x-x-x-