InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Love Reigns Down ❯ Who Will Drive My Soul? ( Chapter 12 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: Who Will Drive My Soul – Song by Lights



Kagome bustled around the kitchen getting supper ready. Glancing at the clock, she smiled. InuYasha should be on his way home. Lifting the lid off the pot on the stove, she hummed as she stirred the soup. Satisfied that the udon noodles would not overcook, she added in shrimp and vegetables to the broth.

The door bell rang and she frowned as she quickly wiped her hands on her apron. Now, who could that be? She hurried to answer it. Glancing out the window, she smiled as she noticed Kazuki’s jeep parked in front.

She opened the door and greeted Kaz with a wide smile. “Kaz! What are you doing here? Come on in.”

Kazuki entered wordlessly and the grave expression on his face suddenly made her heart beat faster.

“Kaz? Is something wrong?”

He swallowed hard and took her arm. “Let’s go sit down.”

“InuYasha is on his way home. I just put some noodles on the stove —”

“Kagome, something’s happened.” Kazuki interjected.

“Kaz —?”  Kagome looked at her friend imploringly. His whole demeanor made her uncomfortable and she had an increasing sense of foreboding as she nervously followed him into the living room. The uneasiness continued to mount as he gently pushed her towards the sofa and made her sit down.

“I have some really bad news, darling.” He looked away momentarily, not quite sure what to say or how to say it. There was nothing he could do or say to cushion the blow. Licking his lips, he grasped her hands tight and as gentle as he could he broke the news. “I was at the bunker tonight. I shouldn’t have been there… but I was and I bumped into Sesshomaru…” The expectant way she was looking at him made him falter.”And… and…I’m so sorry, darling, there’s no other way to say it. Yash was in an accident and —”

“Accident?! What kind of accident? Is he okay? Is he in the hospital? I have to go see him!” Kagome’s words rushed out as she started to get up, but Kazuki tightened his hold on her and stilled her movements.

“Darling, he didn’t make it.”

Stunned silence met his words.

“What do you mean? I don’t understand…”

“He’s dea —”

“No! Don’t say it!” Kagome covered Kazuki’s mouth stopping him from completing his sentence. “I don’t believe it, so don’t say it, Kaz! It’s not true! There’s got to be some mistake!” Kagome pushed her friend away and got up. “InuYasha is on his way home right now. Look, I’ll prove it to you. I’ll phone him!” She snatched the phone off the table and dialed Yash’s personal cell number.

It rang and rang and rang.

Numbness slowly crept into her body, her heart. Yash didn’t have voice mail on his personal cell because he never turned that phone off. It was his private line to his wife. He always answered it.

And this time, he didn’t.

Kagome couldn’t believe it. She wouldn’t believe it. InuYasha wasn’t… dead. She couldn’t even contemplate the notion without choking on the thought.

She dialed his number again and again. With each unsuccessful call her panic steadily rose and spiraled out of control. Finally, Kazuki could stand it no longer and grabbed the phone out of her hand. By then, her hysteria was full blown and she insisted on going to the bunker to see with her own eyes.

She pleaded with Kazuki until he reluctantly drove her to the Takahashi Group.

She was frantic to see InuYasha, but as Kazuki led her down the corridor, the ominous feeling began to build with each step she took. She suddenly felt sluggish — her feet felt like dead weight struggling through the mud— and she had to painfully remember to lift one foot after another.

Then she went through the door and her whole world shattered.


His body was lying on top of a gurney in the room, a plain white sheet draped over him. Kagome stood motionless inside the doorway, her eyes glued to the still figure. It was Kazuki who broke through her trance when she felt his supporting touch on her back.

“Kagome…”

His voice seemed distant, muffled, but it propelled her forward and she broke away from his touch. There was only one person she wanted and they were telling her that he was gone. As if she was a wooden puppet and some unseen force was pulling the strings, her feet shuffled forward on its own accord. She found herself standing beside Sesshomaru.

He gave her a long pitying look before he pulled the covers down.

No! No! No! That’s not InuYasha. That can’t be InuYasha…

Kagome’s mind screamed as she stumbled forward, collapsing to her knees as bile rose up in her throat.  

His eyes were closed; his nose broken. Someone had tried to clean him up, but residue of dried blood was evident all over his face and long, black hair. Dark brown blood stains hideously mocked the pristine whiteness of his dress shirt and Kagome flinched at its macabre appearance. His face was a mass of purple and black bruises and an anguish cry escaped Kagome’s lips as she stared unbelievingly at the sight before her. The metallic rust of blood filled her nostrils and she had to gasp for air.

She had only one thought on her mind.

His ring.

In the madness of her grief, she thought that if she could get the ring off, she could save him.

She gripped his hand. It was cold.

With great effort, she tugged the ring off his stiff finger.

And nothing happened.

He was still human; his black hair still matted with blood; his face still horribly discoloured; his expressive eyes forever closed.

From far away she heard Sesshomaru’s voice. “… motorcycle accident… broken neck… no time to transform… died instantly...”

Rasping uneven breaths echoed in her ear and she suddenly realized it was her. She looked up at Sesshomaru from her kneeling position. “Tenseiga?” she asked dully. Somewhere deep down she already knew the answer before she had asked the question as she flicked her eyes towards Sesshomaru’s famed healing sword. It was propped up against the gurney, silent; no pulsing energy to indicate that it was ready or willing to save a life.

Sesshomaru shook his head as he blatantly lied, “I have tried. There were no pallbearers of the underworld to slay. He cannot be saved. He is dead.”

Of course, Yash was dead. Sesshomaru had made sure of it.

She had one desperate hope left. “Meidou Zangetsuha?” she asked tremulously, referring to the sword’s technique of opening the path to the underworld.

He could see the stubbornness in her gaze and her adamant refusal to give up, but he saw something else as well. It rose from her sub consciousness and lurked in the shadows of her eyes; it was the fear of the truth.

To the ever stoic inu-youkai, it moved even him to see the wretched yearning in her eyes, the desperate plea fueled by one last shred of hope.

“Please—?”

He stared down at Yash before he turned his gaze back to his sister-in-law.

She was clutching Yash’s sleeve as if she alone could hold her husband to this world, but her eyes were trained on him, watching him with the precision and stillness of a hawk.

A brief shake of his head and her hopes and dreams dispersed like the sun on a cloudy day. She had clung on to that one thought: that Sesshomaru could still revive InuYasha and bring him back.

“Kagome, I am sorry. I no longer control the Meidou Zangetsuha. Tenseiga no longer has the ability to connect our physical world to the underworld. That technique belongs to Tetsusaiga now and the only one who could wield Tetsusaiga’s power was InuYasha.”

The eyes that looked up at him were marred with so much pain that the guilt he had been withholding came back in full force. He did not want to do this, but he had no choice. And if he had any say in the matter, neither would she.

He watched as her self-imposed control vanished. Gone was the strong priestess he had come to expect. In its place was a frightened, grieving woman missing the one person who could protect her; the one person she had built her life around. With him gone, so was her foundation. Her baby anchored her to this life — to this time — but he had to break that bond. He had to make her momentarily forget her child, at least until she did what he knew she would do.

In the miko’s fragile state, he could do it; he could break her down completely and drive her over the edge.

He hardened his heart.

He met her gaze directly before he delivered the killing blow to her spirit. “He is gone. Dead. You will never see InuYasha again.”

The look of wretchedness on her face was so intense that Sesshomaru had to steel himself from looking away.

With a strangled cry, Kagome fumbled up and blindly turned away.

Kazuki reached out a hand to stop her, but she brushed by him before she fled the room. Fury burned in his chest and he turned cold eyes towards the older youkai. “How the fuck can you be so cruel?” Kazuki said in disgust before he ran out after Kagome, slamming the door behind him.

Damn you, Sesshomaru.


A roar filled her head and she turned blindly, almost staggering until hands held her upright. She stared up blankly as Kazuki spoke to her. His lips moved, but she couldn’t seem to make out his words. She swayed, trying to concentrate, but the words wouldn’t penetrate and she found herself being pulled against a warm chest.

It was his touch that triggered the onslaught of words, tumbling one over the other and Kazuki could barely make out the few broken sentences… “…said I-I wouldn’t… Inu-InuYasha…. He’s wrong! Wr-wrong! I can…. I can… ” Her voice rose an octave and was edging precociously close to panic and he pulled her close to still the hammering of her heart.

“Shhh, it’ll be all right, darling, I promise.”

She was so heartbreakingly fragile that it spiked a pain in his heart. She was falling apart in his arms and he couldn’t bare it. He swallowed hard and straightened up as he held her tight. She needed him and he had to be strong for her.

“Darling, let me take you to your mother’s. You shouldn’t be alone tonight. We need to take care of you and the baby right now, okay? C’mon, sweetheart, let’s go.” He tried to lead Kagome out of the complex, but she was edging towards hysteria again and it frightened him.

He had to calm her down, so he steered her to his lab where he gently eased her into a chair. He watched worriedly as she crossed her arms in front of herself and began to rock back and forth.

“H-how—?” Her voice broke. “H-how could h-he die like that?” Anguish flooded her eyes as she looked at her friend. “He was…was a hanyou and hanyou don’t die…” She faltered as she stared at the object in her hand. She watched numbly as it slipped from her fingers and clattered to the floor, its flashing platinum spinning and spinning until it fell silent. Her voice turned as bleak as her gaze. “Why was he human? He should have been a hanyou and hanyou don’t die in accidents…  in motorcycle accidents. N-not like that… Kaz, why?”

She was like a small child as she stared up at him with huge, vulnerable eyes. It broke his heart to see her like this; so sad, so lost. The bleakness and pain of her expression made him ache for her.

Kneeling in front of her, he said, “I don’t know, sweetheart, I don’t. I don’t have any answers and I sure as hell don’t know why this happened. And I’m sorry, so damn sorry that it did. Just know that I’m here for you, darling. I’ll help you any way that I can. I promise. Anything that you need, I’ll be here for you.”

She was slipping from reality, receding from the present to a place only she could see. He could see it in the dullness of her stare and it scared the shit out of him.

Gently lifting her chin until she looked into his eyes, he whispered, “Kagome, I know your world has darkened and there is no colour in it right now. But you have a life growing inside of you. You need to be strong and brave and you need to think of your baby right now.”

He paused and reached out to place her hands on her belly, his large warm hands covering hers. He wanted her to feel her baby’s heartbeat; to remind her that she had someone to live for. Locking his eyes on hers, he said quietly, “I know all you see right now is death, but, Kagome, you need to see the life.”

His words finally reached her as helpless emotion flooded her face. “I-I don’t know how,” she whispered brokenly.

Tears shimmered bright in her eyes, suspended on her lashes until they slowly slid down her pale cheeks. Her pupils dilated and her face lost even more colour. He could see the grief gathering momentum again as her mind receded inward, shielding itself from the living nightmare she was now in. Her eyes glazed over, looking beyond these four walls into some place unknown to him.

Shit. She was going into shock. He had to get her out of here fast.

“I’m here for you. It’s going to be all right, darling, I promise. C’mon, let’s get you out of here. I’m going to take you to your mother’s.”

She didn’t offer any protest as Kazuki gently lifted her up from the chair. She was like a china doll, fragile, vulnerable. She wasn’t broken yet, but one small misstep and she would shatter.  

Just hold on, Kagome.

Her movements were stiff and unyielding and he had to wrap his arm around her waist to support her. She stopped abruptly in front of the cupboards and looked back. “InuYasha’s ring…”

“I’ll get it, darling.”

Kagome leaned wearily against the table as Kazuki turned his back on her and retraced his steps. She didn’t hesitate as she swiftly reached out a hand. By the time Kazuki returned to her side, she had once again steadied herself against the counter.

Her strength had left her completely and she sank gratefully against Kazuki’s chest when he scooped her up in his arms and headed out the door.

With her eyes closed and her slender hands gripped into fists, she allowed Kazuki to take her back to the shrine.


Sesshomaru watched impassively as Kagome fled the room. It wasn’t until he strode over and locked the door that the stoic facade broke. Leaning his forehead against the door he stilled as he listened to Kazuki trying to calm a hysterical Kagome.

Long moments passed. Not moving again until he was certain that they had left the building and the complex was once again deserted he finally straightened himself up with a barely audible sigh.

He turned to face the figure that had silently slipped into the room from a side door, and was now standing beside his brother’s cold body.

“Are you sure you want me to do this?”

Looking at the lifeless body of his brother, Sesshomaru steeled himself, ready to face the consequences of his actions.

He looked up from his brother and met unfathomable golden eyes so much like his own before he said the one word that rarely passed his lips.

“Please.”


A/N: Thanks so much for all the wonderful reviews! I try to respond personally to everyone, but I found out that mediaminer has been screwing up my e-mail messages, so if you have an attached e-mail address and haven’t received a personal thank you from me, sorry! I think from now on, I’ll just thank reviewers here… so a big thanks to GLily, sutlesarcasm, soliea0death, LilCin, loulou4729, MisfitMom, AngiePangie, LadyCash, kt, Rihannon and ThisIsMeSmiling for your reviews! Btw, sutlesarcasm, I never thought I would smile so big at the thought of virtual fruit thrown at me! LOL

And sorry for that last chapter, but for the prologue to happen, you had to see that one coming…well, okay, not the Sess part…Um… for the record, I do like Sess, I really do! ;)

Real life is gearing up and it’s going to get busy for me in the next few weeks, so I will try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can. Thanks, as always, for reading! ^_^


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