InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Ma & Pa Snafu ❯ Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi Owns Inuyasha;therefore, I do not.

 

Thanks are in order to Sassa, SplendentGoddess, luv naraku, and InuHanyouNikkie for your nice reviews. Cheers! Special thanks to InuHanyouNikki for defining WAFF for me. It never occurred to my demented mind that it was actually something nice. Boy, don't I feel like a moron. *P.S. - Nikkie, I'm gonna start reading your stuff today!

 

This is a follow up to Allergy Season, kinda sorta. Although it is not imperative that you read that first, it may explain a thing or three. I pinched a line from a classic SNL skit for this one. Some of Will Farrell's finer work, I might add.

 

**This has nothing to do with the story; but on the issue of modern occupations, I've read a few stories where Sesshomaru is always the head of some mega-conglomerate, multi-national corporation. Just once, I'd like to see him in a Smoky Robinson & The Miracles cover band. Can't ya just see Sesshomaru gettin' his groove on to a great Motown hit like: `I Second That Emotion', replete with sequined suit?

 

 

Ma & Pa Snafu

 

Pulling out his best `come hither, come fuck me' look, one he knew she couldn't resist, the hanyou sought to distract his mate from her current war path.

 

“Knock that off. You know damn good and well that I'm pissed at you right now.”

 

“But Kagomeee, if that idiot monk would just learn to keep his fucking pie-hole shut, this wouldn't be an issue”, Inuyasha whined.

 

“No Inuyasha, let's lay blame where blame is due. The reason our five year old, four year old, and now three year old all drop the F-bomb with frightening regularity, in front of fragile, little old ladies no less, is all you buddy boy.”

 

Turning his attention to where his eldest son was doing Kami only knows what; the exasperated father shouted, “Kudzu, get off the damned shed!” Their four year old daughter Hoshiko, and three year old son Kin, were inside napping, thankfully quiet at the moment. The last thing he needed right now was for those two to start their rousing singsong chorus of, “Ohhhh, the monk's a fucked-up, mother-fucking fuckerrrrrrrrrrr….” Rotten little yard apes. Proud as hell of the grubby little monsters, though.

 

“Look, can't we go inside and talk about this?”

 

“Oh no you don't, I'm on to you Inuyasha. You'll only try to seduce me into not staying mad at you.”

 

Damn! Foiled again. How did she know all his best tricks? Am I that transparent?

 

“Yes my love, you are that transparent” Kagome intoned with a melodic chuckle.

 

Limpid golden eyes widened alarmingly. Shit! Is she possessed by a telepathic brain worm… again?

 

Kagome burst into a fit of laughter until she was teary-eyed and hyperventilating. “No my love, I'm not possessed by a telepathic brain worm. You're just way too easy to read. After five years of being mated to you, I should know you like the back of my hand. Especially that cute little birthmark on the underside of your…”

 

“Kagome! Shit-the-fucking-bed, wench! I thought you wanted the kids to be like me? That's what you said” the disgruntled hanyou pouted.

 

There he goes with the ADDDHD again, topic hopping as easily as he jumps from tree to tree. “Of course I do! Eyes, ears, fangs; they got `em all. Including your sewer tongue, which I was hoping would be left behind in the gene pool.”

 

Inuyasha couldn't help the egotistical smirk crawling its way across his gifted lips. Again, he broke out his patented `come hither, come fuck me' look. “Admit it Kagome, you love my tongue. You live for my tongue baths. My tongue has never been anywhere near a sewer, but it drives you absolutely nuts when it laps at you, making you wetter than a slip-n-slide.”

 

Wait `til I get my hands on that little asshole Souta for breaking out the slip-n-slide last summer!

 

He was advancing on her, prowling like a tiger hungry after its next meal. He deliberately sniffed in her direction, smirk widening until his white fangs nearly blinded her. Kagome stumbled backward, eyes riveted on his mouth. He smiled knowingly and flagrantly licked his lips. Kagome visibly shivered.

 

“You wanna know how I know you're just being stubborn, Kagome? Your scent is liquid lust right now. You can't fool me. You want me. You're wet now just thinking about it, aren't ya? You want me to invade you, have my way with you, and turn you into a brazen hussy that begs for more.” His voice was husky and he was within grabbing range.

 

Why o' why did he have to talk dirty? She was on the cusp of becoming a helpless puddle of desire, thereby proving the cocky bastard's point. Too late…before she could get a word in edgewise, she found herself spread out on their dining table like a buffet. When did we come inside?

 

Ok, so maybe she didn't help things by wearing easy access clothing. She'd given up wearing panties a couple of years ago. Did this mean she had to share the culpability for his perpetual horniness? She sure as hell hoped so.

 

Inuyasha tickled her delicate flesh with his fangs, knowing full well she got off on them. He always wondered at her strange fang fetish. He just thanked his lucky stars she was so easy to please. All he had to do was be himself. That meant more to him than he could ever express.

 

The sensation of his tongue on her femininity hit her like a ton of bricks. When he growled against her, it was like a warm, wet, self-propelled vibrator. He paused for a moment to take a sip of hot tea, well aware of the maddening heat she would feel. She'd tried it on him successfully, many times in fact. Closing his lips over and suckling the tiny, swollen pleasure point, he felt her writhe against him. One hand caressed her belly, while the other held her leg as far apart from its twin as it would go with out hurting her.

 

He felt her orgasm ricochet wildly through her body and reveled in the sound of his name being screamed into the rafters. Testosterone induced male pride flooded his veins, but was no match for the achy pulse in his loins. He hurriedly yanked his clothes off.

 

Inuyasha kissed his way up his mate's trembling body. He couldn't figure out how she was still so perfect after birthing his children. Benefits of demonic mating aside, not an ounce of flab met his needy tongue or lips. He could taste the honeysuckle flavored body oil she used and suspected it had a part to play in why her nipples were so silky, even after breast feeding. A while ago, Inuyasha discovered the stuff didn't hinder, but complemented her natural flavor to a point where he had a hard time keeping his tongue off her.

 

Leaning over her, he dealt her a lush, devouring kiss. Kagome's hand made a bee-line for his erection, but he scooted just out of her reach. Rearing up over her, he aligned himself and nudged only the tip in, holding back until her eyes met his. “Say it Kagome, tell me you want me” he demanded around a deep, reverberating growl. She uttered a broken moan and a gasped version of his name.

 

He had to close his eyes and collect himself for a moment at the sight of her heaving breasts, moving with the tide of her labored breathing. “Say it Kagome! Please.”

 

“Inuyaaa…shaaaa. Ohhhh. I want you every minute of every day, you jerk!”

 

His humanity wanted to laugh at her sauciness. His demonic half wasn't sure whether he wanted to punish her for her impudence, or reward her for obeying his request. And his poor hanyou side just wanted to fuck her `til they were both raw.

 

Deciding to go with the middle ground, Inuyasha plunged his hips hard and fast until their pelvic bones met and crashed like cymbals on a drum kit. His hands found and gripped the edge of the table to prevent unwanted slippage, as his hips found a relentless rhythm. Muscles strained, breathing was panting. Hell, even the poor table was groaning as he enthusiastically pounded into her.

 

“Ka…GO… meeeee. Call my name Kagome!”

 

“InuYAASHAA! Fuck me, you glorious hanyou!”

 

Together, they came with reckless abandon. Inuyasha collapsed onto his mate, with his face buried in her cleavage. The table had had enough and gave up the fight against the pressure the lovers were exerting on it. Breaking in half, it dumped them in a tangled mass onto the floor.

 

“Kami, that was incredible.”

 

“Yeah, but we broke the table Inuyasha.”

 

“Hmm, remind me to build it sturdier next time.”

 

A small noise coming from the doorway to the hall snapped their heads in that direction, where their daughter Hoshiko stood, rubbing her sleepy eyes.

 

“Mama? Papa? What are you doing?”

 

Kagome smacked her forehead and groaned, leaving the explanation to her mate.

 

“Umm, we're making you a little brother or sister?” Inuyasha explained, hoping to leave it at that.

 

The little girl looked at them doubtfully, then with disgust. “Well, flip her around. I want a puppy instead.”

 

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Yes, yes. I know I ended it with a really old and lame joke. Hey! Put that catapult loaded with flaming poop away!

 

Kudzu is a green, creeping plant used to control soil erosion. It originally hails from Japan (or so I've been told), and Kagome is allergic to it. It is indirectly responsible for the conception of their first child. Hence the name. *See Allergy Season. We, here in Dixie know it as the plant that ate the South. Ya know, I think Godzilla was just looking for some Kudzu to eat. I don't think he really meant to trample Tokyo.

 

Hoshiko means Star Child according to: http://www.behindthename.com/nmc/jap.php

Kin means Golden according to: ditto the above