InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Madman ❯ Chapter 13 - Love and Pain ( Chapter 13 )

Madman

By Rinseternalsoul

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, and I make no profit from writing fanfiction..

Chapter 13 - Love and Pain

A/N: Hello everyone! Thanks for all of your reviews from the last chapter! I'm glad that you enjoyed the fluff. I deeply apologize for the slow update. I've experienced a devastating blockage of inspiration lately. That's my only excuse, but a truthful one. I would like to say it's over, but I don't want to run the risk of jinxing myself.

I would like to send my deepest appreciation to the following for nominating Madman in the InuYasha Fanguild Awards contest for the 2nd Qtr. 2006.

Best Action Adventure: Nominated by: nami_the_ronin_inu, Seconded by: RhiannonoftheMoon, Thirded by: sesshys_priestess

Best A/U: Nominated by: sesshys_jaded_samuri, Seconded by: CiraArana, Thirded by: Beccaatoo

Best Characterization - Character: Sesshomaru: Nominated by: sesshys_jaded_samuri, Seconded by: Beccaatoo, Thirded by: nami_the_ronin_inu

Best O/C - Character: Matsuno Hotaka: Nominated by: sesshys_jaded_samuri, Seconded by: Ren, Thirded by: nishi_no_shiro_inu

I am truly honored that you all think so highly of my story. Thank you very much for the support.

I guess now would be the best time to offer my congratulations to all those who won. The competition was stiff, and you all deserve the honor bestowed upon you!

"So Hotaka is considered a national hero?"

Rishou nodded and quickly looked away. Seeing Kagome in that dress was not having the effect that he had hoped for. While it did serve to declare his importance in Kagome's life to Taisho it also had the ability to bring back memories of the first night that he saw her in it.

She was so beautiful. Innocent and untouched, yet strong and solid in her beliefs. They had been dating for two months, casually, and most often than not, surrounded by loud and obnoxious friends. It took a lot of talking to convince her to go out with him alone. Kagome guarded her heart with iron clad resolve back then. Hell, not much had changed there. She still refused to let anyone get too close.

Against his will, Rishou's eyes closed for just a moment, as a ghostly image of an angel touched his mind, drawn from his memories, where they will happily be sustained forever. That night, she had met him with a smile, and in that moment, he knew that his heart was hers.

It was an intense time in his life. He sensed the deep scars of a broken heart in the lovely girl wearing white satin. He had wanted to take away her pain, and make her truly happy again, but at the time, he had no idea just how deeply those scars ran.

Her pain had been infectious.

He found that he could not make her forget the one who hurt her most, and while he tried, her pain, had became his own.

She tried to stop him from falling for her. She tried to tell him that she was broken. Love is a bitch sometimes. He could no more stop his feelings than he could stop the rain from falling from the sky.

When she realized how much he had come to care for her, she turned him away. Not cruelly. No, never that. Kagome was too kind and loving for heartlessness. She attempted to explain, through tears and regret, and he simply could not stand to see her filled with such sorrow over someone so undeserving as himself. She didn't want to hurt him, and he wanted nothing more than to see her smile.

It took more inner strength than he had thought to possess, but he managed it. He pushed the blooming emotions deep inside, hiding the hurt at her rejection, and then he lied.

Telling Kagome that he was not hurt by her words was harder than he ever thought possible. Telling her that he too wanted only to be friends was the biggest lie he ever told. It was almost impossible, at first, to be around her without letting her see the pain and longing in his eyes, but the alternative was even more horrible. He couldn't break away from her completely. He couldn't even begin to imagine never seeing her again. She wanted to remain friends, and if that was the only way that he could have her, then so be it.

In the beginning he was sure that he would go crazy, pretending to only care for her in such a non-committed way. As time went by, and her smiles continued to come, he grew accustomed to her aloof handling of his feelings. He accepted the tender peck on the cheek instead of the searing heat of her mouth. All the while hoping that his patience would one day be rewarded with her trust and maybe even her love.

Their friendship grew, and she came to mean so much more to him than a sexy woman, or a gentle spirit. He began to value her for her honesty, integrity and honor. Over time, their relationship did change. Just not the way that he had once hoped for. While she opened up to him in many ways, her heart remained just out of his reach.

He was so stupid to think that he could ever break through that barrier that she had placed around her heart. Give him an 'A' for effort though. He damn sure gave it his best shot, but it just wasn't enough. He was not enough.

'Damn,' he mentally sighed. She was out of his reach when they first met, and by the looks of things, she would remain that way. He wasn't the one for her. He wasn't the one to fill the void in her heart. Why didn't he see it sooner? Why had he allowed himself to hope for it?

Their time together was great, and he hoped to have many more days of her friendship ahead, but she wasn't meant for him. Maybe he had known that all along? Had he been, subconsciously, preparing himself for this day? His heartache wasn't as overwhelming, as he imagined it would be when this day came. Oh it hurt to see her look at another man with a sparkle in her eyes that had been absent until now. But it didn't hurt as bad as it should. Had he somehow, over time, managed to accept her as the friend that she wanted to be?

A friend. The word was too simple to describe his feelings for Kagome. She was more than a friend. She was Kagome. A woman who was as kind as she was alone. She closed her heart to romatic love, yet loved him just the same. He was in love with her once, and now he was finally able to see that he would always love her, just not the way that he had once hoped.

"Matsuno Hotaka has been decorated for numerous acts of bravery and valor. His accomplishments have granted him favor with the Japanese government, and as a result, he was placed in full control over the new military facilities near the Sagawia district. My research has tied him to a military tactics specialist, Yamamoto Juria. Juria's files were more tightly encrypted than anything related to Hotaka. I did, however, uncover one interesting article in a most unexpected place. On the front page of a society tabloid, was a cozy picture of the two as they attended some random charity event. The article claimed that the two were lovers."

Rishou leaned back in his seat, considering what Taisho had just told him. "Damn. From what you've told me, they make a fine pair. I've had some guys looking into the military facility. My sources say that the base was established for research in defending against biological warfare."

For once, Taisho looked somewhat surprised. Besides the heated looks that he reserved for Kagome, it was the first emotion displayed on his stoic face. For some reason, it pleased Rishou to know that he was able to procure information that the businessman had not.

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes and asked, "And how, may I ask, do your sources know this? The information was not open for public knowledge."

Rishou shifted uncomfortably under that cold gaze. It was intimidating as hell, but he refused to show how much the guy un-nerved him. In a cold voice he replied flippantly, "Pfffh. You don't need to know that. Just believe it."

If possible, that narrow gaze became even more pronounced.

Kagome felt the tension rising between her... friends, and decided that it was time to intervene. "Shuusaka, Rishou has contacts with people all over Japan. If he says it's true, then it has to be. You can trust him."

"Humph. I will be the judge of that. However, if the base is believed to be researching against a biologically destructive element, then perhaps the military leaders are unaware of Hotaka's true purpose?" Sesshomaru sat back to consider that briefly. It would make sense. It was hard to imagine the Japanese government condoning the murder of innocent women during a time of peace for their country. If Hotaka was conducting secret research without government knowledge, then the connection to the military was much more understandable.

For the first time since this fiasco began, Shuusaka felt some of the constant tension leave his body. The involvement of the military had been a troublesome factor. In the days of his youth he would never have batted an eye. He would have met the human's show of force with little concern and destroyed them all, but in this day of modern weaponry he had no delusions of grandeur. He may slaughter many, but they would eventually prevail. Not only through vast numbers, but also through a limitless supply of high tech weapons. And while he may often find the unending years of his youkai life boring and tedious, Sesshomaru had no desire to end it anytime soon. Besides, things were just beginning to get interesting.

"That must be it," Kagome hopefully whispered. It was their only hope. If the crimes that occurred were orchestrated by one individual, instead of their entire government, then they not only had a chance to survive this, but they also had a chance of making sure that it never happened again.

Suddenly Rishou's cell phone rang, giving her a fright. She jumped at the weird noise, but as soon as he popped it out of his pocket, she realized what was making the blasting laser sound. That ringtone was seriously irritating.

"Yeah. Tell me what you got," Rishou said to the caller, before giving Kagome a friendly wink. She sat patiently, waiting for him to end the call, and wondering if it was about the mess that she was in. She watched his face turn from a smile to a frown. He shook his head and muttered a curse before flipping the phone closed and sitting back, deep in the black Italian leather chair.

Rishou rubbed his eyes tiredly and finally looked up. "While I was out I made contact with a dude I trust with my life. I gave him the name Hotaka and he traced him back to this same military research facility. Some of my crew headed out to do a little recon and tried to get a closer look at the place, but it was a no go. They have the perimeter tightly guarded on the only three sides with access to the main compound. Dogs, machine guns, fully armed choppers, hell, you name it. The place is crawling with firepower."

"Why would a research facility need all that?" Kagome questioned with a new tremor in her voice. Just when she was beginning to feel a little better about things, they find out the place is some kind of impenetrable fortress. Just her luck.

"When someone wishes for secrets to remain secrets," Shuusaka cryptically replied. He was unimpressed with the information gained through Rishou's confidant, because he had already been witness to the fact with his very own eyes. It did, however, sound like security had been increased, which was not surprising, since he had escaped from the facility thus becoming a serious threat.

"It is of no consequence," Sesshomaru announced with confidence. "They will not escape my wrath."

Kagome rolled her eyes in disbelief. His arrogance could get them killed. "You can't ignore the fact that they are armed to the teeth, Shuusaka. This isn't the old days. You can't just waltz in there like a one-man killing machine, and hope to live! We have to come up with a plan." For some reason, the thought of her new companion losing his life in this battle made her stomach clench in a knot. She was just getting to know him.

"Are you concerned for my welfare, miko?" Shuusaka asked with a quirk of amusement ghosting his features. Teasing Kagome had such a strange effect on him. He was beginning to enjoy it very much, especially when it resulted in a rosy pink blush.

Kagome decided to change the subject. She was tired, and now seemed the perfect time to announce it. She cleared her throat somewhat nervously before standing up. "I'm beat. I think I'm going to turn in for the night." Rishou stood as well, and motioned toward the guestroom. "You are welcome to the guest room." He considered adding a quick invitation to his own bed, in a joking way, of course, but for some reason he didn't think that Taisho would find it all that funny. Considering the scary way the guy growled earlier in the hallway, he decided he would keep it to himself.

He turned from Kagome's welcome face to find Taisho giving him a cold stare. Briefly he wondered if the guy could read his mind. By the look he was giving him, Rishou decided that he was probably lucky that he couldn't. If he got a glare like that just from offering Kagome the guestroom, Taisho would go ballistic if he knew what he was really thinking. "Sorry dude. I've only got one guestroom. The couch sleeps pretty good though. At least, that's what all my friends say."

He offered no response, but merely nodded in understanding. At any rate, Sesshomaru had no intention of sleeping here. The place was too public. Though the building was better than most, he could still hear the tenants in apartments nearby, closing doors, and watching television, going about their daily human lives. Scents were mingled with food odors, waste and cleaning chemicals, further limiting his ability to detect danger if it were to approach.

After the last mistake, he refused to let his guard down. He would remain awake and guard Kagome while she slept. It would give him time to consider the information about the one called Matsuno Hotaka. He was about to settle his head back deep in thought, when a soft voice distracted him.

"Good night, Sesshomaru."

He looked up to find Kagome standing just outside of her room. His eyes followed the line of her smooth, shapely legs, over the soft curve of her thigh, to the hem of a cotton shirt obviously belonging to Rishou. It bothered him to see her wearing another man's clothing, and he found that strange indeed. It was only logical, considering she had nothing to wear besides the dress, but it made him uneasy nonetheless.

She looked away from him, hiding her face and eyes from his inspection, and before he knew what possessed him, he crossed the distance to stand before her. She looked up in surprise, and he placed his finger lightly beneath her chin, effectively removing her opportunity to hide from him again. He could hear her heartbeat skip into a nervous rhythm, but the scent of her excitement proved that it was not from fear. If one touch could bring about such a potent change, he was curious to know how she would react to his full affections? The thought made his body tighten.

"Sleep without fear, Kagome. I will protect you."

She smiled at him then, and he could see the trust in her eyes and it pleased him. Her lips, so soft and full, caught his attention, and Shuusaka felt the pull of them, calling him to taste her again. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, feeling their gentle acceptance, and enjoying her sweetness. Reluctantly he pulled away, watching her heavy lids, painted with thick dark lashes, lift to reveal her sparkling blue eyes. Such open, welcoming eyes.

Their breaths mingled, as he held her cheek carefully against the palm of his hand. She nuzzled into it, but never took her eyes from his own. It was just a gentle nudge of her soft warm flesh, but it was one that he would never forget. He wanted her. It all became clear. He wanted to explore her, inside and out, intimately and intricately. There was more desire firing his belly at that moment than he had experienced in hundreds of years. The force of it left him near panting for breath, as he battled the animal urge to take her right then and there.

"Arigato," Kagome whispered softly with a bashful smile.

He had offered his protection. It was not to be taken lightly, for only a few in his long lifetime were worthy of that honored pledge. The events of recent days proved that Kagome was more than worthy. She was deserving.

Regrettably she left him then, to retire for the evening and rejuvenate her strength through a well deserved night of sleep. He watched her go in silence, before settling down in the overly stuffed black leather sofa and prepared to think on this new and unexpected turn of events.

He never intended for his emotions to become involved, but it was becoming increasingly clear that his well maintained wall of indifference was crumbling fast where Kagome was concerned. Just as a young human girl had done centuries ago, he knew that his cold heart was once more feeling the threat of a thaw.

With a sigh, he settled down for the night.

The first sign of trouble came almost three hours later.

It all began with the acrid scent of smoke drifting in the air. It came to him faintly, as if the source was safely far away, therefore he ignored the slight sting of it in his nose until the blasting call of emergency sirens grew to ear piercing levels. Sesshomaru glanced up at the clock hanging over the bar space and saw that it was early morning, still several hours until dawn.

The sound was loud, ringing in his sensitive ears and causing his head to ache. The sirens were soon joined by sounds of voices shouting and bullhorns blasting. He stood and walked over to the balcony, carefully opening a small peek hole in the bamboo shades with the tips of his fingers. Many floors below, on the roadway, he spotted several massive fire-engines and countless patrol cars sliding to a stop at the apartment building one block away.

A building fire. Nothing to worry about.

If only he had realized the implications behind it at the time.

Hindsight is most definitely 20/20.

The memory of the moment would cling to him like a damp mold for years. It was clearly a failure on his part. He told her that he would keep her safe. It was not an oath that he gave lightly, and besides, it tore his heart out to think of how frightened she must have been. He deserved the nightmares that haunted his sleep after seeing the fear in her eyes. It should never have happened.

But it had.

The helicopter blasted onto the scene at the exact same moment Rishou's apartment door was blown in. The enemy's plan was choreographed perfectly. He was forced to meet the soldiers invading at the door, carrying automatic weapons and using them with little regard to civilian casualties. The men he fought were wearing dark fatigues and wearing black masks. There were no identifying marks, but it was obviously Hotaka's team.

As he lashed out, effectively disarming - literally - the nearest assailant, there was a loud shattering of glass from the guestroom. A feminine scream of terror shook him to the core, but centuries of meditation kept him calm in the face of his worry for Kagome. He would be no use to her filled with bullet holes, though the human soldiers were doing their level best to see him full of lead.

Suddenly, from behind him, a round of automatic fire blasted through the apartment, accompanied by a savage battle cry. It all happened in seconds, and he braced himself to accept the bullets, however, the target, as he quickly realized, was not himself, but the black clad soldiers. They were clearly not expecting return fire, and Sesshomaru turned to see Rishou crouched behind his favorite chair wearing nothing but a pair of loose sleeping pants, and pouring off round after round of automatic gunfire while screaming like a madman. "You fucked up my shit you sons-of-bitches!"

Where the hell Rishou acquired a gun of that magnitude, he couldn't begin to guess, and at the moment he didn't care. Rishou's counter-attack clearly had the enemy shaken and that left him with an opening to go after Kagome.

Sesshomaru moved through the apartment, taking a slug in the shoulder that momentarily stole his breath, before bursting into the room where Kagome had been sleeping. The window was gone. Shards of glass were everywhere, and the scent of Kagome's blood ignited the beast within.

With a roar of anger he reached the opening, where he spotted the chopper lifting away, leaving long dangling ropes to swing wildly in the winds as they attempted to escape with their prize. Juria stared back at him from the wide opening in the side of the helicopter, and beside her was Kagome. She was clearly terrified, staring back at him, while one of Juria's henchman held a knife to her throat. There were several small cuts over her arms and legs, probably from the glass, but overall she didn't seem to be badly injured.

Sesshomaru placed one foot on the windowsill, and prepared to take flight. He refused to allow them to take Kagome. Just as he became airborne, Kagome screamed "No!", but it was too late. Juria sent him a wicked smile and aimed her weapon.

"Say goodbye to your miko, Taisho!" Juria's shout barely reached his ears above the hard thrum of the choppers blades, but the blast of her weapon rang all too clear. He was too close, and barely moved in time to avoid the first shot, but his luck failed him, and the second round hit home. Faintly he heard Kagome's anguished scream, as he looked down in shock. The bullet hit him hard, and sent him spiraling back. Blood was pouring from the chest wound, but even that would not stop him. He recovered quickly and moved to continue his pursuit, but his worst fear became realized when his ascent quickly shifted into descent.

He was falling. His limbs, even now, were growing numb. He struggled to push aside the effects of the drug, but it was a futile attempt at best. With one last look toward the fast fading helicopter, Sesshomaru saw Kagome fighting against her kidnappers as she screamed his name. Strangely enough, he wanted to demand that she cease her struggles, least she get hurt. Then everything shifted into a haze of silence, as the wind tore through his clothing, whipping through his hair, while he dropped through the air like a large sack of rice.

The impact staggered him with white hot pain and knocked the breath from his lungs in a mighty blow. He tried to move, but his body refused to answer his demands. He realized that his left arm had landed at an awkward angle, and he wished that he could blink the blood from his eyes, but even his eyelids refused to follow his command.

Around him the world was in chaos. Women were screaming. Children crying. Acrid smoke burned his throat and eyes as it drifted outward from the nearby burning building. He was as helpless as a newborn pup, and the enemy had taken Kagome from under his nose. For the first time in Sesshomaru's very long life, he felt real fear. Fear that his enemy would take advantage of his weakness, and kill him. If that happened, Kagome would die.

"Holy Buddha! He can't be alive," Rishou anxiously muttered when he spotted the broken, bleeding body of Taisho Shuusaka sprawled in a human crater located over a small patch of grass behind his apartment building. He grit his teeth against the pain in his leg, as he limped out to the dead body of the businessman.

Those bastards had got him in the leg, but he managed to clip one with a killing blow, and possibly tagged a second in the arm before they pulled out in full retreat. The fucking pricks weren't expecting the 'anime king' to return fire. Surprise, surprise. His hobbies went way beyond collecting anime shit. He and his buddies took their playtime serious, and they invested big money in dangerous toys.

When he reached the body of Taisho, Rishou kneeled down, just to confirm what he already knew. The guy had to be dead.

He pushed the thick strands of pale hair aside, grimacing at the bloody mess, and moved to check the dude's pulse. However, the sight that greeted him stilled his heart and made him sway in his reality.

Glowing eyes of the deepest red stared back at him, and they were not the eyes of a dead man.

Hell, they weren't even the eyes of a human.

A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger! I promise not to leave you hanging too long for the next chapter.

&nb sp;