InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Mai Aikou Taishite Maro ❯ Prologue ( Chapter 1 )

Mai Aikou Taishite Maro

(My Love For You)

By: Jazmin Turner

Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha and if you ever thought I did, there is something seriously wrong with you. Something that even Dr. Phil and Jerry Springer couldn't cure…

Translations: I got the translations for the title from www.freedict.com

A/N: Hey! It's me, back with yet another story! If you're worrying about Compelled by Love or Entrapment, then don't. They will be finished…eventually. I'm just suffering from a heavy case of writers block and I came up with this cool idea for a fic. My second shot at pure angst and fluff, so I hope it's better than Decisions of the Heart. Don't you?

Special Thanks: I thank Shesshomaruluver1723 for being an excellent beta reader. I love ya, girl!

Summary: The longer I stay with you, I give more and more of my heart to you. But you will never notice. You will never realize my love for you will never die, because you are a part of me. As my physical strength fades away into darkness, my love for you consumes me. You won't ever notice because you are always chasing after Kikyou and leaving me in the dark. But it is better this way, because I know that rejection would kill me. It is better that you don't know that I am madly in love with you, Inuyasha. Because if you rejected me, I am positive that I would die.

* * *

As Kagome finished tucking away her notebooks from a little last minute studying,

she noticed ribbons of glimmering blue shooting across the jet black sky. Kikyou. There was no doubt in her mind. Her gaze traveled unsteadily to the seemingly sleeping hanyou sprawled out on a rickety branch in a large sakura tree in the middle of camp. But I know he's not sleeping; he will smell Kikyou and go after her.

She felt her heart clench in pain as she dug through her backpack, hunting for her sleeping bag. Shippo lay curled in a furry ball next to Kirara, who was purring contently. Miroku was sitting at the base of a tree, head tipped towards the ground, his staff tucked comfortably between his arms, with Sango by his side, a faint smile tugging at her lips.

Kagome finally found her prize and unrolled it, prepared to go to sleep. She would fight to temptation to eavesdrop on the old lovers. She wasn't as naïve as she was two years ago. She wasn't stupid enough to go looking for heartbreak. Kagome absently fingered the nearly completed jewel around her neck and let out a deep sigh before crawling into her sleeping bag. There was the unmistakable rustle of branches and leaves as soon as she
closed her eyes. Her heart jolted once more. Just as I thought. He's right on schedule.

Trying to ignore the paining lodging itself in her chest, Kagome peeked at Inuyasha through her thick lashes. He had hopped down from his branch and was making sure everyone was asleep before sprinting off into the ebony painted night. Even though she was used to this (it had been two years after all), tears still welled up in her eyes and streamed silently down her cheeks.

Keeping her love a secret from Inuyasha had slowly taken its toll on
her body. Kagome barely ate or slept, bags were forming under her eyes, detecting the shards was becoming harder and harder, spiritual energy was tough to scrounge up in times of need, and her battles were becoming progressively difficult. Miroku and Sango had noticed something was up and even little Shippo had noticed that his surrogate mother wasn't herself.

But Inuyasha hadn't and that's what hurt the most. Hadn't he noticed that
the cheerful girl that was always by his side, who was an optimist, and could always put on a smile no longer existed? Hadn't he noticed she had been replaced by a girl who solemnly smiled or laughed anymore, one who was depressing to be with?

No. How could he? Kagome shook her head slowly. Kikyou's little 'nighttime visits' had become more frequent and she made it hard for Inuyasha to concentrate on anything else besides her. And yet, Kagome still could not hate her. I just can't hate Kikyou! That would be wrong. She suffered so much in life and even more in death. She didn't deserve to be reanimated in a mere shell of her former body - with only a fragment of my soul and hatred keeping her clinging to this world. She was tricked by Naraku and underwent an agonizing death. It would be wrong to hate her because she has won Inuyasha fair and square. It would be wrong to hate her because she is better than me. Even I know that. With those last thoughts in mind, she fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

The moment Inuyasha stepped foot into the clearing, he knew it had been a mistake. Kikyou, her back pressed against tree, glared at him while her soul collectors slithered against her, giving her the glimmering blue souls that helped her survive. Inuyasha, though he had the faint feeling of dread seeping into his bones, was awed by Kikyou's beauty. The glowing from the souls illuminated her nearly flawless skin and it made her eyes and hair glisten with ethereal splendor.

"Why have you come here, Inuyasha?" She studied him with her hard, slitted chocolate brown eyes, her thin lips twisted in a menacing frown. "Why do you even come to me anymore? Don't you understand that what we once had is gone because of your deceit?"

Inuyasha opened his mouth in shock. I thought we already went over this! I thought Kikyou understood that Naraku was on the one who tricked us and got over it!

"Kikyou…."

"Don't you waste your breath, Inuyasha. Please. I do not wish for you to
bore me with your childish lies."

"Please." Inuyasha tried again. This time he would finally make Kikyou
see that they were right for each other and that she could still love him like she once had. This time he would.

"You know it is not within my ability to forgive you, Inuyasha. Why is this?" She began walking steadily towards him until she reached the unsure hanyou with a confused look on his face. "Because I am not the Kikyou you once knew and loved." Her small hand fisted in his kimono. "I am nothing more than a clay pot, Inuyasha! A clay pot with a thirst for revenge, clinging to this world only because of hatred and a fragment of Kagome's
soul. We can not salvage a relationship because we are not compatible. One that is alive and one that is dead cannot be."

Even though her words stung him, he bent over to place a gentle, chaste kiss upon her lips. By now, after two years of her reanimation, he had gotten used to the way her breath stank of clay and death. She was Kikyou after all and he could not refuse her. When they finally broke the kiss, Kikyou stared deep into his eyes and stroked his cheek soothingly.

"But just because there seems to be no way out, doesn't mean that there isn't. There are several options that we can choose from so that we can be together. You could go to hell with me, your brother, the full demon Sesshomaru, could revive me with Tenseiga, you could make a wish upon the Sacred Jewel, or you could finally kill that disgusting wench Kagome so that I could get back the soul that is rightfully mine!"

Inuyasha's gaped at her.

"No!" he barked. "I could never kill Kagome! Ever!" His eyes burned with
rage. Kikyou took a few hesitant steps back and stared at him sadly.

"You chose my reincarnation over me, Inuyasha?" she whispered.

"No Kikyou! Never! You will be my first love and my last. But I cannot
betray Kagome."

"Like you betrayed me?"

"Kikyou!" he cried desperately. Why wouldn't she understand that it was Naraku's ploy that had sent them to their doom, not their own betrayal and deceit? But as Urause and Kikyou had reminded him, her deep hatred from him had seeped into her bones and her thirst for revenge couldn't and wouldn't be quenched.

Inuyasha ran towards her, but she faded away into nothingness.

"Inuyasha," she said in her mellow, monotonous voice. He could still
hear her clearly, though her body wasn't visible. "If you will not let me
come back, I will do it without your help!"

* * *

He's been like this all day, Kagome thought sadly. Is it because he knows that I know he left in search of Kikyou, or is it because of something she said? She snuck a glance at the sulking hanyou who was eating his ramen so slow it was irritating. His usually sparkling amber eyes were now glazed over as if he was in deep thought. Kagome sighed. He usually never got depressed after he saw Kikyou. He always seemed…happier. Happier than he had ever been with her, no matter how much she had tried to make his life seem brighter.

She had tried to help in subtle ways: giving him extra ramen, issuing less
sits, being nicer, having more chats with him, talking less with Kouga, starting less fights…she had even stopped eavesdropping on him and Kikyou and making comments about her! What else did he want? Kagome couldn't help but feel a small pang of jealousy because Kikyou could always make him happy without trying, while she was at wits end, trying to find new ways to make Inuyasha better-off.

Kagome chewed her chocolate pocky silently, eyes still glued to the
moping hanyou who was contemplating over a bowl of rapidly cooling noodles. She swallowed the sweet biscuit, before cooking up a fresh batch of ramen. It would be easy to tempt him to talk if he was preoccupied with his favorite food. She poured some into a

bowl, squared her shoulders, and began to walk bravely over to Inuyasha.

It's time you and me had a talk.

* * *

Every time Inuyasha was positive Kagome wasn't looking, he spared a quick glance at her. Did she think he was stupid? Did she think that he didn't realize she was growing skinner day by day, purple bags were forming under her eyes, and that she was moping around and acting depressed?

And Kikyou's words still worried him. Would she try to assassinate Kagome? Inuyasha knew that he was virtually powerless against the vengeful miko, and that if she decided to take out Kagome, he could do nothing to stop her. The hanyou didn't think that he'd be able to get through each day without being lightened by her warm, sunny smiles, though they were now rare. How would he survive without her sweet, intoxicating scent brushing his nose?

Inuyasha was so wrapped up in his depressed thoughts that he didn't realize that he ramen was getting cold. Food and eating were the farthest things from his mind at that moment. It was not only Kikyou's threat about Kagome that worried him, it was Kagome herself. What was wrong with her? When they had first met, the thing that had attracted him to her was her eyes. They were so much like Kikyou's, yet so different. While Kikyou's had been cold and slitted, her were big and warm, so full of life and joy. Her eyes still retained

that innocence, but he was able to make out the pain and depression lurking faintly just beneath the surface.

And it pained him to no ends because he couldn't save her. She didn't open up to him anymore. She was no longer a cheerful chatterbox. Kagome's suffering wasn't something that he could run through with Tetsusaiga and let that be the end of it. It wasn't that simple. Not this time.

Suddenly a shadow fell over his face. He looked up and was greeted with
a bowl of steaming hot ramen. He stomach rumbled so he quickly accepted the
food and mumbled an incomprehensive, 'thanks.' Kagome took a hesitant step
towards the hanyou, who was now wolfing down the instant noodles, and sat
down next to him.

"Inuyasha, what's wrong?" her voice, as gentle as sweet as it had always been, compelled him to look into her eyes. The pain and depression was still there, but now he saw a hint of worry in her brown eyes and felt guilty. But he brushed away the foreign feeling as he set down his bowl and chopsticks.

"What do you mean?"

"Dammit Inuyasha!" His eyes widened. Did Kagome just curse? Maybe it was time he took her seriously. "Don't think that I don't know that you went to see Kikyou last night! Just tell me what's wrong!" She knows? And she didn't follow? "Please Inuyasha...I want to help you!"

Kikyou is coming for you!

I can't save you from your pain!

I think I have feelings for you but I'm not allowed to.

Kikyou wants to be apart of my life permanently.

You are suffering.

But Inuyasha could not force himself to say any of that. It would worry Kagome and that wasn't what she needed, not now. He felt an urgent tug on one of the snowy locks of hair that framed his face.

"I am your friend Inuyasha! Please trust me! I trust you." She had backed him into a corner. Letting out a sigh of defeat, Inuyasha decided to tell her a diluted version of what happened last night.

"You promise you won't get upset?"

"Why would I?"

"You always get upset when I talk with Kikyou." Kagome's face turned an
interesting shade of red. "Why?"

"I don't get upset Inuyasha."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't!"

"Kagome.." His voice was low and threatening.

"Let's not fight. I promise I won't get mad." Kagome smiled one of the
true, radiant smiles that Inuyasha had came to recognize and depend on.

"Okay. Kikyou is going to try to find a way to…to…come back." A puzzled expression slowly spread its way across Kagome's features.

"Come back?"

"Yes, but that's all I know for sure." Inuyasha studied Kagome's face intently; first an expression of shock, anger, then sadness crossed her face. She lowered her head.

"Oh," was all she said.

"Now it's your turn, Kagome."

"What?"

Inuyasha glared at her and crossed his arms over his chest, making a big show of being annoyed.

"Don't think that I can't tell that you've been getting thinner and
weaker day by day. I'm not that dense." He noticed Kagome's body go rigid.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." The hanyou snorted.

"Ha! You've always been a terrible liar. Just tell me what's wrong. I
told you what happened with Kikyou." Kagome gulped, fear darting through her
veins.

How could she tell Inuyasha that she was in love with him, right then
and there, when she knew and was positive that he still had deep rooted
feelings for Kikyou, and no matter how many times she had tried to intervene, it was to no avail?! How could she tell Inuyasha that he was the reason for her immense suffering? She couldn't. It would break his heart. I don't want him to hurt, even though he's broken my heart countless times.

Kagome looked up into his eyes and found that she couldn't tear herself away from him. His eyebrows were furrowed in concern, his molten amber eyes were smoldering, and a small frown formed at the corners of his mouth. Even though he looked lethal, she couldn't help but think about how handsome he was, and her gaze eventually traveled to the cute, furry triangles perched on his head, which were now flattened against his skull in irritation.

I cannot refuse him. But how will I tell him?

"I-Inuyasha…I think...I'm in love." His ear twitched.

"What?" he breathed. "You're in love?" He glared at her.

"It's not like it's illegal, Inuyasha!" Kagome growled angrily.

"With who? Is it Kouga? Or that stupid Hojo guy you're always babbling
about?" Inuyasha snorted, staring at Kagome disgustedly.

She's in love? With who? Is it Kouga or some stupid male from her time? How dare she fall in love! It's not fair! This could jeopardize our entire quest if she wants to drool over and follow after some guy like a lovesick puppy. Inuyasha decided to ignore the painful clenching in his chest, telling himself that it was out of anger, not hurt. But he could not help but feel betrayed that Kagome would give her heart to another. But it's her heart. She has every right to do so. But will she want to be with me anymore?

"So fess up! Who is it?"

It's the idiot standing in front of me. She longed to say those words, but she couldn't due to the immense thundering of her heart, the flush forming on her cheeks, and the nervous sweat trickling down her forehead. I can't tell him! If I do I'll have my heart crushed again. I don't think I can bear it.

"C'mon Kagome! We don't have until next winter." He tapped his claws on
his forearm in impatience. Please Kagome...just answer.

"It's not either of them," she blurted out. Her hand fisted in the front of her shirt as she tried to calm down the rapid beating of her heart. Will this give me away?

Inuyasha blinked stupidly.

"It's not Kouga?" Kagome shook her head.

"No."

"Tell me the truth Kagome."

"I am!" Just please don't ask me if it's you.

"Fine. Is it some stupid male from your time?" Kagome swallowed. One
little white lie won't hurt…I mean….it's for the best.

"Yes."

"I thought so. Who is it?" Inuyasha snapped irritably.

"Why does it matter to you?" Kagome snarled. It was the hanyou's turn to
turn bright red.

"W-W-Well I u-um.." She giggled. "Shut up woman! It ain't funny!"

"I'm sorry Inuyasha."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Who is it?"

"Inuyasha…"

"Tell me dammit!!" The dark tone that lurked in his voice told Kagome she
had better obey.

"His name is Y-Yoshiro...Yoshiro Takashi." Man that's a crappy name.
Kagome wanted to slap herself.

"And why is your love for Yoshiro making you suffer?"

"Suffer?" Sweat began pouring down her forehead. How can I do this? He has me practically backed up in a corner. Why did I decide to come over here? I knew he was just going to pick on me!

"W-Well...he doesn't know that I love him and his ex…Kiky...uh...KIKI...is toying with his heart and he doesn't know it. And every time I think I've made progress with him he runs back to her." Inuyasha's eyes widened.

"What a jerk!"

WHAT…

A…

BAKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Why don't you just give up on him if he is that dense, Kagome?" Tears began to burn her eyes. He's such an idiot! Can't he tell that he's the one I'm talking about? Can't he tell he's the reason I'm suffering so? "That seems logical."

"I can't you…you stupid idiot! I can't just fall out of love with him! I've
been in love with him for two years!" Kagome screeched, wiping her eyes in a
futile attempt to keep her tears at bay.

"You haven't told me for that long? You've been keeping this a secret
for two years?" Inuyasha barked.

"It's not like you would have cared," Kagome whispered inaudibly. "You
never care."

"Did you say something?" Inuyasha's ear twitched again. Kagome shook her head. "Well finish your story." He settled down a little bit before sighing and leaning against

the tree he was sitting in front of as he tucked his hands into his sleeves.

"That's about it. Yoshiro will never understand how much I love him or how I'd die for him."

"You'd die for this jerk?! How stupid." Kagome rubbed her eyes again.

"Love makes you do crazy things, Inuyasha. You of all people should know," she said, trying to keep the spite out of her voice. But Inuyasha picked up on it.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what I mean," she said softly. "You will go to hell with
Kikyou when our quest is over."

"That doesn't count as stupid!"

"Well why doesn't it?"

"Because it was a promise!"

"So what! That was a stupid promise to make!" Inuyasha gaped at her.

"Kagome..."

"I'm sorry Inuyasha...I don't know what got into me." She combed her fingers through her messy hair before putting on another fake smile. "I shouldn't have said that."

"Whatever."

"Well now you know why I've changed...it's Yoshiro's fault."

"Yoshiro is a goddamn idiot and so are you."

"Excuse me?"

"Keeping your feelings inside for two years has gotta be painful. It's just like keeping bad stuff inside without telling anybody. Maybe if he knew that you loved him, then he'd stop chasing after Kiki or whatever the hell her name is." The idea doesn't sound half bad...but why am I setting myself up for another heartbreak? I know damn well that Inuyasha doesn't care about me in that way, and he's made sure that I know it too, because he's always insulting me, telling me how much better Kikyou is than me, and saying how much he hates me. But it's time like these that confuse me the most. He's acting civil and almost sweet. Why can't he make up his mind and stop playing with my emotions like this!?! She thought heatedly.

"I can't."

"Why not? What's the worse that can happen?"

"He can reject and scorn me! He can humiliate me. And break my heart
again."

"Wait a minute! He's already broken your heart?" Kagome nodded timidly.

"Yes. Countless times. And he doesn't even know it."

"Then this guy definitely isn't worth it." If this stupid Yoshiro jerk was here he'd have a broken neck for hurting Kagome. She doesn't deserve all of the hell he's put her through. I don't care what Kagome says, if I ever see Yoshiro I'll kill him slowly. He has no right to change Kagome and make her suffer.

"You don't understand, Inuyasha. In...Yoshiro is my world. He's the reason why wake up in the morning and why I got to sleep at night with a smile on my face." She sighed dramatically. "He's the air I breathe, the sun on my face, the wind in my hair. He means everything to me. Yoshiro protects me, cares about me, and he is also my best friend." I thought that I was her best friend! Inuyasha's ears drooped sadly and he felt his heart doing flip flops in his chest. She must be madly in love with this Yoshiro guy. I can't compete with him...she loves him more than anything, even though he is an imbecile and Kagome can't get him out of her mind. Does she still have a place in her heart for me? Will she continue our quest? Will she become his mate?

"He's - He's that important to you, Kagome?"

"Yes. But I think he's even more important than that, to be honest."
Inuyasha felt like a hundred swords were lodged in his heart, twisting and
rolling back and forth, causing him to grimace with pain.

With a defeated sigh, Inuyasha stood up, head lowered, his curtain of
silvery hair hiding his troubled expression. There is no place in her heart
for me. Yoshiro has claimed it all. He began to trudge away.

"Inuyasha?! Where are you going?"

"I'll be back before sunset, Kagome. Don't worry." With his back hunched and his shoulders drooped, he looked even more upset then he did after all of the battles that he was defeated in.

"What has him upset?"

Kagome watched him until he disappeared into the dense forest.

She sighed.

It looks like I'm back to square one.

Yay! The first chapter of Mai Aikou Taishite Maro is complete!

*throws confetti*

It was eleven pages! This is my second shot at pure angst and fluff since Decisions of the Heart, which I despise. Yeah. Despise! You got a problem with it?!

*cricket chirp*

I didn't think so. Anyways, *clears throat*

REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!