InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Making it Perfect ❯ Making it Perfect ( Chapter 1 )

Another songfic written because I couldn't stop thinking about it. It seemed perfect for Inuyasha and Kagome. The song is `Bad Habits' written by Michael Tolcher. This is just another distraction to get me through the day. Hope ya'll enjoy.

****

The sun filtered down through the leaves of the trees. A gentle breeze stirred the air. All was calm for the moment but that meant little in this day and age. A demon could sneak up on them in a matter of seconds. Sneak might not have been the correct choice. Between his keen sense of smell and Kagome's intrinsic abilities to feel one's presence, a demon would be hard pressed to catch them completely unawares. Perhaps unprepared on how to fight, but not so startled as to be killed. At least he hoped not. Of course he was only half surveying the landscape. Instead Inuyasha watched her through narrowed eyelids.

He had taken to doing that, watching her. She walked next to Sango, her head slightly bowed. She had spoken little since they had broken camp. Shippo chattered away at her side, blissfully ignorant of the young woman's plight. Sango knew something was amiss, but kept her comments to herself. Instead she answered the fox demon's questions, keeping Miroku's wandering hands at bay. Kagome saw it all, but had withdrawn into her own thoughts.

He had upset her again last night.

I get all my bad habits watching you, it's true

He hadn't meant to. He wasn't even sure what he had said anyway. It wasn't anything he hadn't already said before. He sighed dejectedly and crossed his arms over his chest. Inuyasha couldn't help himself sometimes. It was the few times that Kagome seemed to show any passion for anything lately. He didn't know what was wrong with her. In the beginning she used to react vibrantly to anything and everything. Now she seemed so self-conscious.

Lately only her wrath appeared to bring her to life. So Inuyasha prepared himself to be in pain for the number of `sits' he would receive and purposely set about making her angry.

I wish that things were so different;

Except her anger hadn't been aroused. Instead her big brown eyes had filled with tears and she had turn and run into the forest. At a lost he had stared after her, ignoring Sango's hurtful accusations. Finally, he had made himself move and chased her down.

Change it myself; it's what I'll do

He was going to make her explain herself. Why was she behaving so strangely? She wasn't in heat, and there was no indication to tell him why she would react differently to him. However the sight that had met his eyes when he shoved away the last branch had stopped him in tracks.

The woman was curled up on a rock on the side of the stream, her shoulders shaking with her silent sobs. Her long dark hair shielded her face from him, but he could smell the salt of her tears in the air.

**I can't figure it out yet

Her sadness gnawed at him. He didn't know how to deal with it. All he knew was that he wanted to make it so she wouldn't cry anymore.

Just how to make it perfect for you

Quietly, Inuyasha had stepped back into the shadows and watched her, his own thoughts churning. It began to make a bit of sense to him, though not really. Somehow it was the comments of Kikyo that had upset her.

But I'm closer than I was yesterday

There was more driving Kagome's depression. And he didn't doubt for a moment that indeed the woman had slipped into one. Somehow Kikyo was tied into it. Why else would his comparison of the two woman send one crying into the trees and the other one declaring her eternal hatred. Women were so frustrating. And yet, somehow he felt as though he had had an epiphany where Kagome was concerned.

Yeah I'm closer than I was yesterday

He would make it right. Inuyasha made that vow as he watched her now. His nose twitched and he saw the woman pause. She lifted her head to the sky, her dark eyes searching through the trees. He shifted his attention from her and glanced over his shoulder. There was a slightly foul smell in the air.

"A shard is close." Kagome broke her silence.

Inuyasha instinctually took a step closer to her, his hand hovering above the hilt of Tetseiga. He could hear it now, whatever the demon was, coming towards them. Its movement had slowed, but it came steadily regardless. Sango and Miroku flanked outwards, ready to attack the demon the moment it revealed itself. The rush of adrenaline pulsed through his blood and Inuyasha growled softly. Time for the game to begin.

**********

The bright flames leapt up towards the sky in front of her. Kagome rested her chin on her knees, staring into the jewel-colored fire, her thoughts a mess inside her head. The demon earlier had put up a fight; it's movements and poisons enhanced by the jewel shard embedded in its throat. But Inuyasha, always seemingly impervious, had destroyed it. But not before it had tossed her about like a rag doll.

She winced as she rolled her shoulder, her muscles contorting in agony as she attempted to bring life back to her limbs. Her dark eyes shifted to where Sango was tending Karara. The large cat, now the size of a kitten, had been badly scratched while protecting her mistress. The demon hunter claimed it wasn't too serious, but Kagome could see the fear lurking in the depths of her friend's eyes.

They had all been affected by the attack today. Even Miroku had withdrawn inside himself, his witty comments remaining in his mouth for once. The one her thoughts really were on stalked into the clearing, dumping another load of branches next to the fire.

They say that life is for learning

How long had she been here this visit? She was starting to feel jaded. She missed her mother and brother. Even thoughts of her grandfather caused a pang in her heart. But she knew why she kept on. Inuyasha had infiltrated her blood and there was no getting him out so easily that why it hurt so when he would provoke her?

Lately the hanyou had taken to being downright mean. He wasn't usually like that and she couldn't understand it. Personally she was fed up with his childish antics. So why didn't she pack her bags and return to her time for good?

"You know why." She muttered to herself, closing her eyes.

Teach me to live, while I'm here

At sixteen, her hormones were awakening. And she knew exactly who had awakened them. It seemed that as much as Inuyasha frustrated her and drove her completely mad, she fell a bit more in love with him. Only now she found herself in a conundrum. How did she tell him her feelings? How did she explain why she had taken to deep meditative trances when they were stopped?

Messages twisted and turning

Sango and Miroku had both picked up on it. Neither had pressed her, though they were both worried about her. Even Shippo had noticed she wasn't as chipper lately. The only one who appeared not to care was the one creating the problem. And perhaps that was what hurt more than anything. Inuyasha hadn't even seemed to notice the change in her demeanor.

What should I give; make it clear

But then she was little more than a shard detector for him. She couldn't lie to herself about his feelings, though she had no clue what they were. Kagome sighed and automatically searched the perimeter for Inuyasha. He was sitting just in the shadows, leaning against a tree. She knew that when they had fallen asleep, he would find himself a branch and make his bed. There he would watch over them until first light crept over the horizon. Then he would sleep for a few hours before they all stirred. She knew because she had spent numerous sleepless nights of late watching him.

*I can't figure it out yet

She studied him through her lashes. The hanyou was still a mystery to her really if she admitted it to herself. Even after a year. He had to care. Why would he come for her time after time? And Sango had explained frequent bouts of jealousy he displayed whenever Kouga came around. None of it mattered tough. Always his thoughts were obviously on Kikyo.

Just how to make it perfect for you

If she could, she'd go back even further in time to right the wrongs that incurred between the two of them just over fifty years ago. It pained her to see Inuyasha struggle with his duties. His loyalty had been to the priestess. They had been lovers even. But they had been tricked and each had betrayed the other. But when Kikyo had been brought back, while Inuyasha had at first returned to her side, he had remained there, choosing to travel with Kagome. Had his loyalties indeed been transferred over to her?

But I'm closer than I was yesterday

She sat up strait as the thought took shape in her head. Her back protested, but she barely felt it. Could she truly be mistaken in what the hanyou felt? How many times had the dead priestess lured Inuyasha to her, attempting time and time again to drag him into hell? And each time Inuyasha had fought against it, never relenting to the woman's will. If he loved her so much, why would he hesitate?

"The jewel." She whispered, her heart falling again. Yet, he could have abandoned them long before and found the shards on his own. There had to be another reason why he stayed.

Yeah I'm closer than I was yesterday

Kagome glanced over to where Inuyasha sat. She could just seem a glimmer of gold telling her he was still awake. She offered him a smile, the first one she had felt like giving freely in several days. She could accept the fact that he didn't love her, that he might never love her. But she was warmed by the prospect that he did care for her, even if for other reasons than she wanted. IT was a beginning and for now it thrived in her heart helping to bring her a bit closer towards her normal self.

*************

Kaede's village finally came into view. Inuyasha let go of some stress he didn't even realize he had been holding. He glanced at the woman at his side. Kagome hefted the bag onto her shoulder and met his golden gaze. She smiled at him, though it didn't quite reach her dark eyes. He had spent two days attempting to get the nerve to approach her.

Yesterday he had fallen in step with Sango. Without trying to give himself away he had inquired about Kagome. The demon hunter hadn't been nearly as forthcoming as he had hoped and finally advised him to ask the girl himself. It wasn't an easy task. For some reason the idea of confronting Kagome terrified him more than anything else had before. The idea was ludicrous. How many demons had he fought and destroyed? How many times had he challenged his own brother and never wavered?

"Inuyasha?"

His name brought him from his reverie. His amber eyes blinked and he saw the others had gone ahead, Kagome a few steps in front of him. "Are you coming?"

It was on the tip of his tongue to snarl at her, but he held back. Her head was cocked to the side and a frown creased her brow. The woman dropped her bag from her back and it hit the ground with a thud. "Are you alright?"

Slowly he shook his head. "Actually no."

She approached him now. She put a hand to his forehead. His caught her eyes and she blushed at being so close to him. "You don't have a fever, do you feel sick or something?"

Again he shook his head. "I need to talk to you."

Don't you notice the difference I'm not the same

His words hung on the air. Kagome took a step away from, suddenly uncertain by the intensity she witnessed in his gaze. Something had changed in the hanyou over the past few days. She couldn't pinpoint what it was though it plagued her. Sango ha even told her Inuyasha had been asking questions about her own health. It gave more warmth to the thought he cared.

"What about?" She tried to make her voice light, but it seemed to come out strangled. A breeze stirred his snow-white tresses and she glanced at the sky, taking note of the grey clouds.

Inuyasha shrugged and shifted. "Can it wait?" She asked when she saw his hesitation. "I think it might rain and I'd like to change clothes."

"You aren't going to leave are you?"

The question startled her. "I thought I might go home for a few days, yes."

"But you'll come back."

It was more a statement than a question and it threw her emotions into turmoil. "Of course." She answered him slowly.

Inuyasha looked her directly in the face now, his amber gaze full of something she couldn't quite discern. "Why do you come back?"

"Isn't it obvious?" She laughed, feeling slightly uncomfortable. "I have to…I have to repair the blunder I created when the jewel shattered.

I'm only here to be with you

Her words sank his heart. He had finally figured out how he felt. That he had at long last made his choice. He took a step towards her. "Is that the only reason why you'd come back?"

Her bottom lip trembled. His nose twitched and he could notice the subtle change in her stance. At first she had been light and then bewildered. Now there was an edge of anxiety lying underneath her disposition. Thunder rumbled distantly and he realized they were standing now on the edge of it all. Things were about to change between them, if only he could find the courage to say it.

Now I'm closing the distance

"I have friends here, Sango, Shippo, even Miroku." Kagome explained.

"And me?" She could see the anticipation in his golden gaze.

She licked her lips nervously. "Of course." She burst. Then she hesitated. "If you've forgiven me."

Now he blinked in surprise. "Forgiven you for what?"

She chuckled out of apprehension. She didn't like the change in the atmosphere and wasn't sure if it came from the pending storm or the subtle variation in the dynamic that existed between them. "For shattering the jewel when I first got her. For constantly using the rosary on you." For not being Kikyo, she added silently to herself.

Kagome could feel tears welling up in her eyes and she offered a smile, brushing her long hair from her face. She would not cry, not now, not here. Not over some dead priestess who could only hate the world for her predicament.

Inuyasha took another step towards her. Absently she took one back, halting the hanyou's advancement. "I've forgiven you."

The words made her catch her breath. "What?"

His face smoothed out. He offered her a wry grin and shrugged. "I should think I would be the one needing absolution."

Dropping the blame, trading the rest for something new

Now she was wary. He wasn't sure any more about this approach. He felt as though he was just dragging it out. The moment would pass soon and then he'd be in the same position he had always been. And yet somehow he felt it might even be worse. That Kagome wouldn't come back through the well. He could always go get her, but he wanted her here because she wanted to be here.

"What have you done wrong?" S he asked. "I've created nothing but trouble for you since we met." She glanced at the ground and kicked a stray pebble. Thunder growled, louder and closer than before, the wind blowing her dark hair across her face, hiding her momentarily from view.

He came closer to her, trying desperately to find his strength. "You were the one who set me free. Who knows how long I would have remained in that state of unconsciousness if you hadn't stumbled here."

Kagome remained silent, her head down, the ebony strands of her hair still blowing across her features. Before he could stop himself, Inuyasha reached across with one clawed finger and pushed the silky strands from her face. She looked up at him, her brown eyes wide with surprise.

"If you are so unhappy here, why would come back?"

"I'm not unhappy." She protested, but he could see the lie.

"I don't understand."

Why would you work without living

"There's nothing to understand. I'm not unhappy." She argued.

He shook his head, ignoring her disagreement. "You are not the same as when you first came. You used to be so vibrant, so alive. What happened?"

Kagome swallowed thickly. "I don't know what you're talking about." She told him, her voice filled with emotion.

"Why would you continue to do something that constantly puts you in harm's way if you don't want to be here...?"

Spending your soul, what's it worth?

"Who says I don't want to be here?" She demanded.

Inuyasha felt a sense of satisfaction at seeing the woman breaking free. She pushed her hair out of her face and stood there glaring at him. "Isn't that why you keep leaving?" He threw back at her, trying not to react to her provocative stance.

"I have family. I miss them. They miss me. On occasion it's nice to see them and let them know some demon hasn't ripped me in two yet."

He came closer still, closing the distance between them. "I would never let that happen to you. I only want what's best for you."

"Really." Her lip curled in an ironic smile. "And here I thought you only wanted the shikon jewel. Isn't that what you've been clamoring for the past year?"

"I want much more than that." He told her, her nearness affecting him. His voice had grown husky and he felt like he might burst at having finally succeeded at having extracted the woman he loved.

I hope you make it to heaven…

Kagome suddenly felt on guard. Somehow she had not noticed how close Inuyasha had come towards her. The white strands of his hair brushed against he arm. She looked up at his ears, her fingers itching to reach up and touch their velvety softness. She could sense his satisfaction, but she cold not figure out why he would feel so elated.

"We should go." She whispered. She saw lightning flash out of the corner of her eye.

"Don't go." He gripped her wrist, preventing her from turning. "I want to tell you something.

Kagome thought she might hyperventilate, her breathing had grown ragged. She had no clue what he would have to tell her. But if he didn't move away, she might just confess her own feelings for him. "What?" She squeaked, not even sure she wanted to hear what he would have to say.

"I know you go back to your time. But I need you to know that when you're gone…I…miss you too."

The admission had her staring at him. "You miss me when I leave?" She wondered aloud.

"And not just then; I miss the way you used to be. I miss the fact that you weren't afraid to argue with me or put me in my place." He grinned ruefully and then shrugged. "Well, maybe not the `sits' so much." She smiled with him. "I just miss your penchant for life. It made me realize that perhaps there is something more than just the jewel."

Waiting for life here on earth

He held his breath waiting for her reaction. IT wasn't fully what he wanted to say. In fact he had said everything but the most important thing. But he had gleaned no insight to what she felt. He wasn't ready to put himself out there. There had been a brief moment where she had acted like her old self, the one he had fallen in love with. Now she stood there, staring at him.

"You're not interested in the jewel anymore?"

He scratched the back of his head. "I do still want it. But more to make things right, than for my own personal reasons."

"If we collect all the shards you're telling me that you won't try and take it from me the moment you could." She snorted.

He grinned. "It's possible, but you could have fun trying to get it back from me."

Her smile faded. "I wouldn't even know where to find you. You don't even know where she is now."

**'Cuz I can't figure it out yet

"What?" He frowned and shook his head. "What are you talking about?" He asked.

Kagome wrapped her arms about her. "Nothing."

"You're talking about Kikyo." He pressed.

"Forget I said anything." She turned to go, embarrassed to have let an iota of her inner feelings slip out.

"I don't want to forget what you just said." His hand was on her arm again and he turned her around to face him. "This is what this has always been about. About Kikyo." Vehemently she shook her head. "Why do you let her affect you so?" He demanded.

The anger in his amber eyes frightened her momentarily. Then she realized his fury was not directed at her, but at the dead priestess. She wilted, tired of fighting the tide of emotions. "I'll never be her. I can't ever be her for you." She told him sadly.

Just how to make it perfect for you

Inuyasha stared at her as the admission rolled off her tongue. He approached her and reached out to touch her cheek. She stared at him forlornly and his heart ached. He swallowed, ready to tell her how he felt. "I don't want you to be her."

Her luminescent brown eyes swirled with unspoken sentiments "What are you saying?" She whispered.

He took her face in his hands. She resisted for only a second before relinquishing to his touch. "Kikyo is in the past. She has no room for anything but hate. I don't want to live like that. I have no desire to go to hell with her. I've tried to make amends with her, but she won't even try and I`m tired of attempting to get through to her. The Kikyo I once loved is dead and buried. All that's left is a shell and I don't want to be with a shell. I want to live. You made me realize that."

Kagome's lips parted and he placed a finger over her mouth to still her words. "I miss you. Your vibrance, your desire for life. I miss the girl that I fell in love with."

But I'm closer than I was

She wasn't sure if it was the warmth of his hands on her cheeks or the words he had just uttered, but Kagome thought she might faint. She wasn't even sure she was awake. Any minute now her alarm clock would ring and she would discover she was dreaming. Inuyasha was not saying he had fallen in love with her.

She yanked out of his grasp, tears clinging to her lashes. "Don't say things you don't mean."

"I'm not." He reached out and grabbed her arms, pulling her towards him. "Listen to me Kagome." The use of her name had her pausing. He was notorious for calling her many other names, but usually not by the one her mother gave her. "I love you. And it pains me to see you so upset. Tell me what to do to make it right."

Only the first half of his statement registered with her and evens till she was having trouble fully comprehending it. "You love me?" She whispered, fearful now he was playing some sort of trick on her.

I'm closer than I was yesterday

Inuyasha was thrown by the bewilderment he read on the woman's face. He wasn't sure what she needed or even wanted from him. Suddenly he was anxious that she would flee and never come back due to his confession. He swallowed and almost reluctantly nodded. Then she startled him.

Kagome threw her arms around his neck. She pressed a kiss to his neck.

"I love you." She told him softly, shyly.

Yeah I'm closer than I was yesterday

She could hardly believe that after all this time he had been the one to say it first. She felt him tense and then his arms were around her. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He pulled back and as the first raindrops fell, he kissed her tenderly.

As his lips touched hers, she felt her depression melt from her. She was exactly where she wanted to be. She kissed him back loving the strength that exuded from him. He pulled away from her, pushing the wet strands from her face.

"How about we get out of the rain." He murmured, nuzzling her neck.

She giggled nervously and nodded. "Only if you promise me something."

"And what is that?"

"Teach me live this life and not waste it."

He grinned at her and swept her into his arms. "Then why are we waiting? Let me show you what my first lesson will be."