InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Malice ❯ Twisted Realities ( Chapter 24 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 24: Realizations: Twisted Realities

Kagome sighed deeply, relaxed in a way she hadn't been in months now... not since this had all started. She'd really needed this time, here at home, where she could be at peace, away from the danger that now filled her life even more than before.

She'd known she'd been in danger from day one in the sengoku jidai... but, at least at first, she'd had Inuyasha to defend her, and somehow he'd always managed to do so. But then Kikyou had been resurrected - and things had slowly changed.

She no longer felt resentment against Inuyasha for always running off and leaving her for Kikyou's sake... but sometimes, a bit of fear would kick in - fear that he would indeed leave her again, that it was only a matter of time. It would probably take a while before she would be able to get past that - he'd spent too much time chasing the older miko for her to just accept that things had changed at the drop of a hat.

Leaning back on her hands, she looked up at the night sky, enjoying the quiet. Inuyasha was somewhere around, she knew, but apparently he'd realized that she needed a little time alone, and since they were here instead of back in his time, he felt safe enough with her on shrine grounds to let her be for a while.

Her mind ran back to the things she'd read in the binder that had been dropped here yesterday, and again, she had to wonder: who in this era would know about Naraku, and not only of him as a historical figure... but enough about his personality and his mental state to profile him? There had to be something they were missing...

She sighed again and sat back up, looking down the shrine steps, and blankly into the street below. Things were always so complicated - it seemed the kami couldn't let anything be easy, it was like they enjoyed these high-stakes games. Sometimes, lately, she'd felt like a chess piece being maneuvered across the board for the amusement of the gods - and she resented that. If the kami had wanted game pieces, they shouldn't have given their creations a will of their own and self-awareness.

Inuyasha watched her from his perch in the goshinboku. He didn't need to be a mind-reader to know what she was thinking... she'd lost a bit of her faith in him every time he'd abandoned her to chase after Kikyou, and then a whole chunk of it that last time. It hurt to know that, but the worst part was, he didn't, he couldn't blame her. It truly was all his fault.

He knew that it wasn't really even about saving her. She was well aware that there was a good chance he would have been just as caught off guard as the others when Naraku grabbed her - it truly had been that fast. But if he had been there, where he should have been, at least he would have been trying... and it would have made all the difference in how she saw him.

It would be a long time before she'd be able to have the faith in him to know for sure that he would never leave her side again - not for Kikyou, and not for any other reason, either.

He was determined that they would have that time, too. Naraku would pay...

And then he would die. Simple.

Inuyasha waited for some time, but finally, he hopped out of his tree and went after Kagome. She was apparently so lost in thought, that she hadn't noticed how cool it was getting, and she wasn't dressed for it. He had no intentions of letting her get sick.

"Oi, wench... you gonna sit out here all night and freeze to death?" he asked quietly, ears pinned back.

Startled, Kagome jerked her head around and stared at him for a moment. "Oh! I'm sorry, Inuyasha. I didn't notice, really. I'm fine - was just thinking about that binder."

He held out a hand and waited for her to take it before pulling her to her feet. "Yeah," he said, musingly, "I've kinda thought a lot about that binder, too. It's giving me a bad feeling... I mean, it seems like whoever left it is helping, but who could it be? Who here in this time could know about that bastard?"

"I have a feeling there's gonna be more coming from whoever it is, too." She turned and they slowly made their way across the courtyard towards the house.

"Hmm," he grunted. "Probably." He shook his head, a bit frustrated with that topic of conversation since they had nothing to go on except guesses, so he moved on.

"So what about this training thing you keep talkin' about. We gonna do that tonight?"

She cast a glance at him from the corner of her eye, then nodded. "Yes - I think we should. We need to."

Inuyasha frowned over at her for a moment. "Aren't we gonna be a little defenseless while in that dream state, Kagome? I don't need Naraku striking while we're helpless and getting into your mind again."

"No, don't worry about it. It won't happen - our souls will be protecting us. It's okay. In fact, we'll probably be safer there than anyplace else... at least our minds will be."

He slid the door open for her, waited while she removed her shoes, before sliding it closed again and walking behind her up to her room. He hadn't liked that allusion to their minds being safe... that left the body as what - unsafe? It almost felt like that was a little dig on her part about what had happened - did she think her body wasn't safe with him? Was she really doubting that he would protect her?

Ears once again flat against his skull, he lowered his head as they walked into her room, and he shut the door behind them. He stopped there, not moving any further into the room.

"K'gome?"

She looked up, wondering about the dejected tone in his voice, and frowned when she saw him. His whole posture screamed 'hurt'. What was wrong with him all of a sudden?

"Is something the matter, Inuyasha?"

He raised his head suddenly and pinned her with hurt golden eyes. "Do you really think that you're not safe with me? That I wouldn't defend you to the death?"

She stared at him, unsure of what to say to that. "What brought this on?"

"Just answer me, please. I... I need to know just how far I have to travel to regain your trust." He looked away, shame filling his face.

"I know I failed you, more than once, and I know I deserve every bit of whatever suffering comes to me for it. But even if I'm a bastard, even if I don't deserve you, which I don't, and even if it takes me a thousand years to make you believe in me again, I can't let you go, Kagome. Please..." he said, voice barely a whisper now, "don't ask me to."

Kagome lowered her gaze to the floor for a moment, then sighed wearily. Sitting down on the edge of her bed, she patted the spot next to her invitingly as she waited for him to sit down.

Finally looking up, she met his pained gaze firmly. "I'm not going anywhere, Inuyasha, I promise. The trouble is, a small, frightened part of me still fears that you will let me go. I'm not saying this to hurt you, honestly," she said, as she caught the flash anguish in his eyes, "but the truth is, you abandoned me one too many times for me to feel secure that you won't again - at least not yet. It will take time, Inuyasha... and I don't know how long. I'm not blaming you, so don't think like that. Just give me that time."

Inuyasha felt a portion of himself break at her words, the hardest part of it was knowing that, indeed, it was all his fault that she would feel such a fear. He knew that only time would erase that fear from within her, and was actually grateful that it was only a small part of her that felt that way... and also that she wasn't going to leave him.

Even if he deserved it.

Reaching out a tentative hand, he brushed her bangs out of her face for a moment, tenderly running his claws along her skin. Her eyes were so wounded.

With a pained murmur, he pulled her into his arms and just held her, content to know that at this moment, she was safe in his arms - and an inhuman determination filled him then and there - she would always remain so.

Safe.

And he would also have his vengeance against Naraku - a vengeance, he was determined, that the very mention of would make people shudder with visceral horror a thousand years from now.

If Naraku feared the loss of control more than anything, then Inuyasha would take that control from him - and he knew just how to do it.

He couldn't wait to hear the screams of his enemy as payment for what he had done.

Soon.
Inuyasha woke, and in confusion, looked around. The place he was in was not where he fell asleep, and for a moment, he panicked.

'Kagome!'

'Shh, Inu, it's okay. Remember the training thing? This is where that will happen.'

He whipped his head around as he sat up, and found Kagome sitting seiza behind him, looking off into the grey nothingness of the place they were in.

'So, then what are we waiting for?'

We wait for you to be ready, soul of our soul.

'Huh?'

Kagome rolled her eyes. 'In other words, Inuyasha, we're waiting for you to shut up.'

He shot her a look, and sitting cross-legged and folding his hands inside his haori, he settled down.

'Fine. I'm ready.'

You must first be aware of each other - as one soul in two bodies, you should feel the link between you. Have you ever wondered how you always seemed to understand each other - even from the first moments you met? Why you, Inuyasha, especially, trusted Kagome so quickly, when you had never given your trust to another, in all your long years of life?

'I always thought that was weird, and when I'd get freaked out enough about it, I'd try to push her away, but it never worked. I just couldn't bring myself to distrust her.'

Kagome nodded, agreeing with him. 'Yeah. From the first moment that I met him, I just knew I could trust him - even though he was trying to kill me.

'Feh! Stupid wench! I wasn't trying to kill you, I couldn't, even then, and though it made me mad, I didn't fight it. I was just trying to scare you. I'm fast enough that I still could'a got you even though you tripped.'

Kagome frowned then, as a thought occurred to her. 'But if all this is true, then why wasn't it the same for he and Kikyou?'

Because Inuyasha's soul, and your own, are ready to ascend. In other words, your souls have grown beyond what this world can contain - after this life, for both of you, there will be no other - only paradise. Kikyou, when she had the portion of soul that you now contain, was not his equal.

Inuyasha's eyes widened slightly at that. 'So that is why we weren't really meant to be...'

Precisely. Now, again, look for the connection in your souls. Find that place where two become one, and open yourself to it. For the things you will need to do with your soul, you will both be required.

Inuyasha closed his eyes, even though he knew it wasn't really necessary to do so - in this place, they were already within their souls. Still, it was habit. When trying to reach within yourself, you close your eyes.

Eventually, soul of our soul, you will break free of that habit and will be able to call up the power within us without a second thought - even while awake and moving. For now however...

He nodded, and let himself float down through layers of consciousness, going deeper and deeper, until he got to a place that glowed - but not with youki. His eyes popped wide open at that... this place within him was filled with rieki - Kagome's sweet touch and loving soul literally dwelt in that part of him, and as he stared at that place within himself, he realized - that part was Kagome, but it was him, too. They really were one soul.

In that moment, so much love and hope flowed through him that it hurt - and he knew that from this moment on, nothing would ever separate them again.

Nothing could.

'Naraku, you bastard, you're in for a shock the next time you try anything!'

Kagome, meantime, was also searching out that place in herself, and coming across the same thing - namely, that part of herself that held not reiki, but youki - Inuyasha. She could feel him, then, all of him, his love, his confusion and pain, the past and the future... all of it, lay there within the part of him that was her.

She reached out with herself, and stroked the part of her that was him, her aura dancing around itself and she watched in wonder as the youki responded to the reiki, twining around each other and gently melding together - what she was seeing should not be possible - but somehow, it was... and it was beautiful beyond compare.

She knew then that he was seeing the same things in opposite within himself - and suddenly, she understood the concept of yin and yang absolutely - she was watching it in action right inside herself, and nothing could ever compare. She raised her eyes and stared at Inuyasha, meeting his gaze head on.

Eternity was theirs - because even if they died, they would never be apart, and she found in that moment, that she had no fear of dying any longer. She wouldn't be alone... ever again.

Inuyasha could feel his youki caressing her reiki, and as he watched, he could see the pain in parts of her soul - the hurt of the rape that was still gouging out parts of her, still trying to take over her and taint such a wondrous creation. Things were different now, though - she wasn't alone, because her soul was his soul, and suddenly, he understood it, and all that it meant - and in that moment, he realized just exactly what he could do to take his vengeance on Naraku, not in blood... but in kind - in other words, in suffering and pain, and most of all...

Fear.

So much better that way, he decided. Death was too easy for the likes of him...

At least, just death. He would suffer first - then he would die.

He would strike where it hurt the most. Naraku feared a loss of control, he feared being controlled... and that's exactly what was going to happen.

Inuyasha grinned ferally to himself. Kagome would know he was up to something - but she wouldn't know what. And that was really a good thing, because what he was going to do to the bastard that had hurt his mate would shock the hell out of his beautiful Kagome.

And he knew just how to do it. Even the barrier of death couldn't stop what he was about to do... he would call, and the other would eventually answer.

Kagome tilted her head and narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Inuyasha was up to something, she could feel it. There was a wicked gleam in his eye, as well, and she knew that he'd just thought something up to torment Naraku. To her horror, she realized that that thought didn't bother her, on the contrary, she wanted to hurt him.

'What have I become? I want him to suffer - I want to cause him pain.' Tears blinded her, and she felt shame such as she'd never thought to feel before - and yet, even with all that, she still wanted to make him suffer.

'I'm not Kagome anymore... and it's all his fault. Will I ever find my way back to who I was?'

Do not fear yourself, soul of our soul. You are who you always were. But you are beginning to understand something that you never considered. Sometimes, vengeance and justice are one and the same. You are not becoming evil, or vile by seeking payment for your suffering. The kami have ordained that circle of karma, Kagome. If you do an injustice, it will come back to you. This is what is going to happen to Naraku. The kami are going to make him pay for his crimes - and they have chosen you and your mate to administer that. In order for it to be equal to the things that he has done to you, and others, he must suffer as much as all of you have. Your mate has the beginnings of Naraku's karma well in hand - although it might seem dark, this is how it must be. Do not interfere with what he chooses to do.

'But then, what about his payment for what he's done to the others?'

That is where you come in. Inuyasha will seek and obtain justice for you. You will seek and obtain justice for some of the others - and death itself will take care of the rest. The time for payment of the karmic debt that Naraku has accrued is nigh. For the pain of the slayer and the monk, you will seek vengeance in this way... As he stripped them both of everything that was important to them, you will strip him of what is important to him... his youkai. He has spent decades stealing the youki of others - now you will strip him of his youkai - one by one. Slowly. Eventually, he will be merely human again - and then, it will be time for the final act... death. For Kikyou and for all those that lost their own lives to his greed, he will be forced to forfeit his own life, and then he will remain in hell for eternity. For him, that will be his final destination - there will be no rebirth for him, no second chances.

Kagome's eyes widened as she heard the depths of what was in store for the dark hanyou who had destroyed so many lives... and she shivered in atavistic fear.

Death, for him, will be eternal.

Inuyasha's eyes gleamed as he also heard the pronouncement of Naraku's fate.

Perfect.

Neither of them noticed that they hadn't had to really be trained for anything - they'd almost automatically grasped the power they contained without any instruction.

And neither noticed that the grasp that they had always had upon each others hearts was that much tighter, either, nor that the power flowing through them was almost unimaginably stronger.

They were almost ready for the last stand against Naraku - almost ready to be the tools of the Kami that they had been created to be.

High above the mortal realm, the Kami watched silently as the two with one soul finally began to understand what they really were - what they had been created to be. It was just the beginning stages, but soon, they would reach full understanding, and then, the vile blemish known as Naraku would be destroyed.

For the one thing the Kami would not tolerate, was a created being trying to take power from it's rightful owners - they themselves. Naraku had thought to set himself above his own creators... and that would never do. He had usurped power and authority from them left and right, and now, vengeance such as only they could possibly deal out was about to be visited upon the condemned.

The first step - Inuyasha's revenge for the pain caused to the other part of himself. What he was about to do would teach Naraku his first lesson - it would teach the arrogant hanyou fear.

It was about time that he learned to fear that which was greater than him. Once he had learned fear... the rest would come.

A/N: Okay, here goes... HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACKIE!!!! As a birthday gift, I am dedicating this story in its entirety to you... you have been the most faithful reader of it, and so, it just felt like something I should do. Hope you enjoy your birthday, and here's to you, girl!

Amber