InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Malice ❯ Broken: Beyond Redemption ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 4: Broken: Beyond Redemption

Finally! I knew she was alive!

Inuyasha felt his heart ease as he caught sight of Kikyou's soul collectors. For that instant, it seemed as if all was once again right with his world, as he forgot everything else but the woman he'd spent almost three weeks searching for. Running in the direction he'd spotted them in, he skidded to a halt when he reached the clearing she was in, watching as she turned in surprise.

"Inuyasha?" She looked around. "What are you doing here? And where are your friends?"

"They're back at Kaede's. I came alone, I was looking for you." A frown crossed his face. "Why didn't you let me know you were okay? We thought..." his eyes slid away from hers, "I thought... that you were - dead. Naraku told us that he'd killed you, during a fight we had with him several months ago." He swallowed hard. "What are you doing around here, anyway?"

Kikyou still looked surprised to see him. Shaking her head in bemusment, she answered. "I was chasing one of Naraku's incarnations. The girl-child. She carries his heart, and I was led far south of here by her." She suddenly looked annoyed. "I am returning back to the north. About a week ago, she just disappeared." An uneasy expression crossed her face and she saw the same on his.

"I think... I was drawn off for a reason. And you say that Naraku told you he'd killed me?"

"Yeah."

"I don't like this, Inuyasha. Why are you here?"

"I told you, I came looking for you. After thinking you were dead, I started hearing rumors that you had been seen, so I came looking." He frowned at her. "Why does that surprise you? You should know by now that I'll always come, Kikyou. I told you I would, remember?"

She smiled at him. "Yes, I know, Inuyasha." The smile fell, and she looked suddenly fearful.

"But this time, I think that you shouldn't have. Naraku drew both of us away for a reason. Why do you think he would have done that, hmm?" As his eyes widened with understanding, she nodded. "Exactly. He must have been after Kagome all along. If he's taken her... there's no telling what he's done to her."

Inuyasha was frozen. He couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't even speak at the absolute panic that ran through him. She had to be wrong. Kagome was okay. At the sad look on Kikyou's face his voice suddenly came back. "NO! Don't look like that! She's fine, Kikyou!" His voice was fierce in denial, his hands fisted so tight that blood was beginning to drip from them.

"Nothing's happened to her. Nothing, do you understand! Nothing!" He spun on his heel. "You'll see! I'm gonna go back to the village and she'll be there, safe and sound. Everything's alright. You'll see," his voice trailed off to an anguished whisper. And then he was gone, as suddenly as he'd appeared.

Kikyou was shaking. She was very, very sure that everything was not all right.

Sango sighed. Kagome had been back for well over a week, and something was just not right. This morning, she'd gotten up and gone back through the well, and she was glad that she had gone. Something had happened to her. Naraku had done something, she just knew it.

Because Kagome, beautiful, pure-hearted, high-spirited Kagome, was broken. It made Sango sick to see her the way she was now, and she felt so helpless to do anything about it.

And Kagome just kept insisting she was fine, while doing her best to avoid being around anyone, and flinching whenever anyone so much as brushed against her.

She was pulled from her unhappy thoughts by a commotion in the village. Inuyasha! That bastard is back! She took off at a run, heading for Kaede's. He'd pay... the fucker will pay for leaving Kagome defenseless! Because of him, she's broken!

What met her eyes when she reached the hut, however, shocked her speechless. Inuyasha, looking like he'd been beaten half to death, eyes rimmed red and with his crests carved out high on his cheeks, was acting completely insane. He was holding Miroku by his robes, snarling into his face, demanding to know where Kagome was.

Suddenly, she felt such rage well up inside her... How dare he act like he cares, or like its our fault! He's the one that left her! Reaching to the wall behind her, she grabbed her hiraikotsu and slammed it into the back of his head.

"You fucking BASTARD!" As he spun around, eyes wide and shocked and suddenly clear again, she yelled at him. "How DARE you come in here demanding to know where Kagome is and acting like you give a DAMN! Where were YOU when Naraku took her?!"

She jumped back in shock at the primal scream that welled up from deep in the hanyou's throat as he fell to his knees, pounding on the floor, but then grinned ferally.

Good! I hope you die of the guilt! she thought fiercely.

Miroku moved forward, having finally gotten back to his feet from the place he'd been dropped when Sango had hit Inuyasha. It was his turn to grab his friend and shake him. "Inuyasha! Calm down! Kagome is at home on her side of the well. Calm down and we'll tell you what happened!"

"You can tell him, Miroku." Sango's voice was calm, completely cold. "I don't even want to look at him right now. Kagome might be alive, but you know as well as I do that she's been damaged in some way, and it's this bastard's fault. He swore to protect her," she sneered, "and yet, every time he hears anything about that dead woman, he runs off and leaves her behind, alone and defenseless. Newsflash, you stupid bastard, Kikyou's already dead! Kagome isn't... yet, and no thanks to you! Tell me, who should be of more concern? The woman who's already dead, or the one who's still alive?! Kikyou's death was never your fault, you fucking idiot, but this? This is your fault, and I hope you choke on the guilt, because you deserve every bit of it!"

"I promised her, Sango! I know I promised Kagome, but I also promised Kikyou!" Inuyasha's voice was muffled, weak, as though it took all his strength to voice those words.

Sango looked at him with disgust.

"You promised Kagome first, you ass. And you broke it. Again. This time, you can't fix it. Because whatever happened, and she won't tell us what he did to her, she's damaged now. She isn't Kagome anymore, and I think I hate you for that. So just stay away from me, because at this point, I really could kill you and not care at all."

And she turned and walked out of the hut, taking her weapons and Kirara with her, leaving a shocked silence behind.

"Tell me what happened, Miroku." Inuyasha was still crouched on the floor of the hut, face almost in his chest, ears laid back, the ultimate picture of dejection. He didn't look like he could take much more, honestly, it seemed as if he'd already been drug backwards through hell.

"Inuyasha... maybe you should clean up and--"

"NO! Just tell me, Miroku. I need to know," his voice sinking to a whisper, "I need to know what happened."

He sighed, shaking his head sadly. This wasn't going to end well. "Alright, Inuyasha. Six days after you left, Kagome sensed Naraku's aura, but before we could even react, she was gone." His eyes closed at the memory. "Inuyasha, I've never seen anything like that. One moment she was there, the next she was just... gone. It was..." he sighed, opening his eyes, he looked back over at his friend, and stopped as surprise ran through him.

Inuyasha was crying. And not just a few tears swimming in his eyes, but pouring down his face, as if his heart had been ripped wide open. Eyes closed, he made no sound, and that made it a hundred times worse, this silent weeping tore through Miroku, as tears started from his eyes, too. Inuyasha opened his eyes and looked at him.

"Finish. Finish telling me." His voice was choked with emotion.

Miroku nodded. "After she disappeared, Sango panicked and it took me a while to calm her down, because there was just no trail to follow. Even Kirara couldn't find one." Unspoken were the words that Inuyasha himself, if he had been there, could have found it. They didn't need to be spoken, he could see that knowledge shimmering in Inuyasha's eyes. He continued his story.

"We decided to come back here and hope that," he looked away, "you would be here. We didn't know what else to do," he said, at the small sound of grief that came out.

Taking a deep breath, he shook his head, trying to clear it. "A week after she'd disappeared, she showed up back here. She told us that she'd woken up, the same day she'd been taken, in front of the well, with a concussion, and some other injuries, and decided to go home to get them treated."

At Inuyasha's look of disbelief, he nodded.

"Yeah... I didn't like what I was hearing, either. Anyway, she told us that Naraku had thrown the usual stuff at her, about you only caring about Kikyou, and a few rants about Kikyou herself, then had struck her when she didn't respond to the taunts." At Inuyasha's low growl, he grimaced.

"That blow is her excuse for not 'remembering' what else happened. But you know as well as I do that Naraku didn't go to all the trouble of doing what he did, just to throw a few insults and smack her around a little."

Inuyasha could barely breathe. Just pulling in air was almost more effort than he could bear, and it hurt. It hurt like nothing he could ever remember, this hurt, not just physically, but in every way there was that a person could hurt.

And he was frightened. Because Miroku was right. Naraku wouldn't have gone to all the trouble of kidnapping her just to insult her and hit her a few times.

There was something much worse going on, because Naraku had even gone to the lengths of luring him away... he'd wanted to make sure there was no way for anyone to be around that could have stopped him from taking her. He could barely bring himself to consider what had been done to her.

He tuned back in as Miroku started speaking again.

"So that's as much as we know." He looked at the hanyou, with a tentative, sad look on his face. "Inuyasha, whatever he did, Sango's right, Kagome isn't... Kagome anymore. I can't even describe it to you, you'll have to see it for yourself." He looked away again, unable to bear the heartbroken look on his friends face.

Sighing, he reached over and grasped his shoulder.

"Maybe you should get cleaned up a little. I don't think Kagome should be exposed to anymore shocks right now, and you, my friend, are a mess. You'd probably scare her to death, the way you look now."

Inuyasha nodded. "When will she be back?"

"Probably not 'til sometime around sunset. She said she'd be back today, and she never comes back to the hut until the sun goes down anymore. She always stays away from everyone... we watch her and keep out of sight as much as possible, but - she doesn't like being around anyone, it seems," he finished sadly.

Inuyasha's shoulders slumped even more as those words hit him harder than he'd ever thought possible. Because that told him more than anything else, just how bad it truly was. Kagome had always been a 'people person' as she called it, always loved meeting new people, and enjoyed being around others.

That she no longer did, meant that something inside her, something fundamental to who and what she was, was now damaged, broken.

Sango was right. Kagome was broken. And it was all his fault. He had betrayed her, and even worse - what had happened to her, he didn't yet know... but he knew when it had happened.

Because he'd felt it at the time...

And he'd ignored it, pushed the feeling that something was wrong aside. So he could keep following Kikyou.

He would never, could never, be forgiven for this.

This... was completely, totally, and forever beyond redemption.