InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Melting a heart of ice ❯ Chapter Eight: The diary ( Chapter 8 )

Chapter Eight: The diary

Dear diary,

Life can be so dull.

Sometimes, I ask myself, what purpose do we have? Why do we even live on this earth? Are we that important? Or that useless? Would it be bad if we all die? Or would it be a blessing? Does it even matter at all?

There are days, in which I think I'm happy. I think that, because I'm not sure. What is `being happy' exactly? When you laugh and have fun? Can you even be happy when there is so much sorrow around you? So much pain?

Nevertheless, there are days in which I want to forget it all. Then I only see how bright the sun shines, how green the grass is, how beautiful the flowers are. I only feel a soft, caring wind, that whispers to me "enjoy life". I only hear how wonderful the birds sing, how many butterflies there are, flying around in the air, free like the wind itself. I only see people with laughing faces, and I laugh myself. I feel good, I feel free, I feel alive.

Those are the `light', the happy days.

Then there are the other days… Somehow, these wonderful light days don't last long. They come and go, swift as the wind, they are as bright as the sun, but when they are gone, only darkness remains…

I only see the world in black. The grass turns brown, the sun disappears, a hard wind blows. It is dead quiet. In my visions, I see only death. I see people crying, I see their sorrow so clearly, it's breathtaking. I no longer remember the good memories like me and Kikyou, playing together when we were young. I only remember the bad things, the `dark' days of my long life.

Sometimes, I whished I would live as short as a human does. They come, and not so long after that, they're gone. They don't have to life as long as I have to. They don't have to see so much pain and sorrow like I do. They don't have to live so long trough this mess that we call `life'.

I also ask myself, are the people that stupid? Are they that short-sighted that they don't see what they are doing to each other and this world? That they destroy everything, even life, for nothing but only a jewel?

I am the only person who sees it, so it seems. I feel lonely, ignored and depressed. I smile and I joke, because I don't want them to worry about me.

But on the inside, I'm screaming.

Screaming for someone to understand me, to help me, to end this dull life of sleeping, eating, healing people, feeling bored and useless all day, smiling all day, sleep again and all the time being only one woman with no real power to end all this. I'm screaming for someone who'll notice the fake life I live, for someone to talk to, for someone who makes me feel happy and comfortable, and not useless.

Someone to end all the dark days.

Someone who'll make me truly smile again.

Kagome

The raven haired girl smiled sadly as she closed the book she held. It was old, it had seen many years, judging by the state it was in. Slightly yellow pages, edges a bit damaged, all things which proved that fact.

The girl stood, wiping away a lone tear that travelled down her cheek. She sniffled a bit, shook her head and proceeded to put away the diary. She trailed her finger over it once, wondering if anybody would ever read it later. If anyone would ever care about who wrote it, and wonder how that person was. She would live a long time, but she wasn't really immortal. She came close enough, but eventually, she would die. What would happen then, would someone find it? But even if anyone would actually care, it would be already too late. She would be dead…

The girl closed her eyes briefly as she felt something approaching. It was still miles away, but it was going fast. Her eyes shot open again as she felt the foreboding feeling grow. Something wasn't right.

She turned and hurried down the stairs, one after one, her feet barely touching them as she ran, her dress flapping behind her. Moments later, she was in the courtyard, just as the gate opened.

One rider came in like a whirlwind, the horse rearing before it came to a stop just in front of her.

Now the elves don't always use normal horses like humans and youkai, they also use unicorns, like this one happened to be. Unicorns were beautiful and mystical creatures, and so in a way just like their masters.

Riding the unicorn was an elf, dressed as a soldier, with long blond hair and piercing blue eyes. His normally beautiful face was contorted in worry and also in pain, as he was wounded at his arm.

Kagome gasped as she saw this and ran to his side. "What happened? What's wrong? Please, let me see your arm!"

The soldier pried her hand of his arm. "No time, no time! I need Kikyou-sama here, quick!"

Kagome nodded and quickly let a servant get Kikyou. She however already came, no doubt sensing the soldier's arrival too. "What is it?" She demanded.

The soldier bowed his head before he rambled on. "An attack, Kikyou-sama! One of our castles to the north has been attacked! We need your help there, now!"

Kikyou clenched her jaw. "Alright, I'll come with you."

Kagome looked worried at her. "Is there anything I can do Kikyou?"

"No nothing."

"Really? Shall I heal this soldier?"

Her sister sighed as she pushed Kagome out of her way. "Kagome, be so kind and go bothering someone else. It's war, I need that soldier. There's nothing you can do, just stay here. And now let me pass, I have to hurry!"

Minutes later Kagome watched them leave with some new troops. She turned as she sensed her mother's presence behind her.

"Well, and there she goes again. I just hope she returns home save… Kagome, is there something wrong?"

Kagome turned towards her mother and smiled. "No mother, it's nothing, don't worry." Flashing her another smile, she turned and left. However, as soon as she turned, that smile had vanished.

* Two months later*

~Sesshoumaru's castle, Western Lands~

In once room, a certain boy was pacing back and forth while he held a paper in his hands. He paused shortly as he teared the paper in as many pieces as he could, then he started pacing again, his body as tense as it could be. A soft growl left his throat and then, in once quick move, his claws slashed trough the air and a table to his left was cut in two. He stood looking at it a moment, flexing his claws, as he suddenly did something strange.

He slapped himself.

Inuyasha watched how a tiny being fluttered of his nose onto his hand. He looked annoyed how the flee youkai dusted himself off before standing and glaring at him.

"Now Inuyasha-sama, is THAT a way of greeting this humble servant? And what would your brother say when I tell him how you destroyed his home?" As Inuyasha only snorted, his glare intensified. "What?!"

"One, you're spending too much time with that toad thing. Two, this is MY room, and MY table. Three, you would NEVER, ever run to my brother, the danger of being around him hasn't escaped your attention. Four, the idiot isn't even here."

The flee gave a little snort of his own. "I didn't came to hear speeches from you. I am the wisest here." As Inuyasha squeezed him, he began yelling. "No, please, show mercy! I just want to know what was in that letter!"

This effectively got Inuyasha's attention somewhere else as he looked worried again. "Those baka elves," he muttered.

The flee began jumping around. "It was from the elves? Any news of Sesshoumaru-sama?"

Inuyasha's look got darker. "No, nothing. They only want to negotiate."

"In THEIR castle?!"

"No, in a castle near our borders. Or well, it is on their grounds, AND one of their castles, but not the main one. And it's not as if we would have a say in this at all. But what do you want Myouga?"

Myouga looked thoughtful at him before speaking. "You are nervous!"

A snarl clang, before Inuyasha fell silent, realising Myouga was right. He was nervous. Tomorrow, he had to leave to that castle, meet three people he didn't like, namely Kouga, Naraku and Kikyou and he actually had to negotiate. He now wished he had paid more attention in all the lessons he received, and had listened more to Sesshoumaru. Then he would be able to do this, maybe… But now, he didn't know how to handle this.

"Oi, Myouga, you are coming with me!"

Myouga's eyes bulged out. "B-but I-I thought Jaken was coming?!"

Another snort. "That toad is only good for insulting elves and humans, and pissing me off. Oh and maybe doing some minor stuff for me or Sesshoumaru. But, I need ADVISE, damn it, didn't you say you were the wisest?"

A nervous laugh. "Forget that, I'm dumb. I'm an idiot! I don't even know my own name! I…"

Inuyasha squeezed the flee again as it attempted to flee. "Oh no, forget it! You are not going to hide somewhere like a coward!"

"I am no coward," came the somewhat muffled reply.

Inuyasha grinned as he left his room, shutting the door with a loud bang and kicking a half sleeping Jaken who had been waiting outside.

"No Myouga, you ARE a coward."

*

~Elven castle, Southern Lands~

Sesshoumaru sat on a tree somewhere in the gardens, watching Kagome as she was running around, organising everything. There would be a party tonight, and both elves and humans were busy carrying tables outside and adjusting decorations. All of them looked happy, despite the fact that it was war. Some were humming songs, and he was startled as Kagome began singing softly, followed by others. Even although he couldn't stand elves, he still had to admit, she had a wonderful voice. As he was listening, his thoughts drifted off, and he inwardly groaned as he thought back to this morning.

~Flashback~

He woke up from a deep and good sleep, something which hadn't happened in years. He unconsciously sniffed the air for her scent, something he did all mornings since he came here, but he didn't notice it himself. It had been eight days now. Eight days of being around all those damn elves and humans. He still found them to be filthy, but her scent still remained as intoxicating as ever.

Not that he would ever admit that.

He didn't smell nor sensed her around, but he shrugged it aside. It's not as if it would interest HIM what THAT girl was doing.

He got up, picked up his swords and left his room. Just as he shut the door, a blue and black whirlwind passed him, coming from the stairs. Judging by the scent, he identified it as her.

Seconds later, she came out of her room again, carrying something and heading towards the stairs as she noticed him staring at her.

"Oh hi Sesshoumaru! Lovely morning, isn't it? Well, I uh… I need to help with this, so…"

"Help with what?"

She blinked. "I didn't tell you? Oh well, you know Kikyou leaves tomorrow, for eh…" her face darkened. "… negotiating… Anyway, we have a party tonight!"

"A party?"

"Yeah, you know, just a way of saying `goodbye' and wishing them good luck. But don't worry, even though you're a prisoner, you can still come!"

He raised one single brow. "Who says this Sesshoumaru would go to something as pathetic as a party?"

Her smile faded. "What, you don't want to come? Oh no, not that serious attitude again! I told you, you should have some fun, it would do you good!" Her expression became determinated. "No matter how, I'll get you there, even if I have to put a spell on you."

She never got the time to do anything as he pinned her against the wall. How could she talk to him like that?! She flinched as he snarled at her, but then she got angry.

"What is it now? I only want to help you, your majesty!"

"You have no right to order me around, wench!"

"Oh is it that? You are far too arrogant for you own good! And I told you…" he looked alarmed as her body began glowing blue. "… I would get you there."

Blue light surrounded him before it died away, but he sensed nothing.

"What did you do bitch?"

"Just a little spell. You can't go further away from me then a few feet, so you simply have to go to the party."

She gently pushed him aside and ran out of his reach, down the stairs. After a moment, he was yanked forward, after her.

"Bitch," he mumbled.

"My name is Kagome!" was the angry reply.

~End Flashback~

So that was why he was forced to follow her around. He couldn't even relax up in this tree, because she would interrupt his thoughts every once in a while to ask his opinion on something, only to run off again so he had to jump out of the tree and follow her. The last time she came asking something, he only growled at her, but she just teased him `how he was in a bad mood apparently'.

`Hn, bad mood is an understatement,' he thought darkly. `How could she pull off a stunt like that? But well, on the other hand, that's just her. Always obvious to the fact that she is disobeying ME, a taiyoukai. And the worst thing is, she still lives.' He narrowed his eyes as he watched her chatting with everyone and giving orders. `How can one girl be so hyper?'

But, as he thought off it, she was being a bit too hyper. In the following hours, he kept watching her from his spot high up in the tree.

And so he noticed a lot of things. How she would laugh when someone was near, but as soon as she was alone, her smile faded and her expression became sad. He was just thinking about how fake it all was, as a soft voice brought him out off his musings. As he looked down, she stood there, looking tired and sad, the wind playing with her hair as it blowed around her face. But still, she flashed him a smile.

"What is it wench?"

Now her face contorted in anger. "I just wanted to tell you I have to change for tonight, so you won't fall out of that tree again, remember my little spell? And… oh just forget it!"

He jumped off the branch he was sitting at and landed softly before her.

"It seems I am not the only one with a `bad mood'," he purred in her ear.

As he walked away, he noticed she followed him, but he didn't notice how she shivered and gave him a sad and surprised look.

*

Kagome sat next to her mother as she observed all the people that were dancing and laughing. Tomorrow, Kikyou would leave with some soldiers to negotiate with the enemy. At the moment, Kikyou was sitting on the other side of their mother, looking serious and not pleased at all with the party, just like Sesshoumaru was this morning. She pouted a bit, it had been her idea, organising a party just to forget their sorrow and worries for a moment. Her mother had been enthusiastic, along with everyone else, so the party was organised. She looked around to find Sango and saw her sitting somewhat further at the table, next to Miroku, who had a red hand print on his face. She was a bit sad as Sango told her she would go with Kikyou, but she decided she wouldn't think of it tonight. It was a pity though, her best friend would be gone for days, and they still hadn't thought off any revenge for Miroku for groping them. That would've been so much fun. Luckily, at least Miroku was staying, but he was her mother's advisor and so very busy too. But well, she was used to it, everyone gone, doing something and leaving her to sit at home, doing nothing.

So she just made fun, danced with Miroku, who would stay, and a few other people. Of course, this would prove to be a problem as her spell on the taiyoukai still worked.

He had said almost nothing to her, he only waited in the hall as she changed into a long, red dress. She asked him what he thought of it, but he only gave her a glare and further followed her, as he had no other choice. She had the idea he was VERY pissed at her.

He had settled down a few seats away from her, and he had sat there all evening, looking impassive, so after a while, she lifted the spell, after all, she wanted to dance and he wouldn't ruin that for her just because he had a bad mood.

He seemed obvious to the stares he got, but almost everyone was looking at him. Some people with interest, as they never saw a youkai this close. Soldiers with fear and respect, remembering him from the battlefields. `And of course, every female has to stare after him because of his looks,' Kagome noted dryly. Not that he seemed to care, as he levelled everyone with the same cold glare.

Now, she was sitting here and observing him. She should somehow get him to do something, even if it was just talking, she decided.

Just then, he got up and walked away. She blinked a few times before excusing herself and hurrying after him. She called out to him, but he ignored her, so she did the only thing she could think off.

She activated the spell again.

He was yanked a few feet back towards her, and she swallowed as she saw the murderous look he gave her.

Seconds later, her back was against a tree and his claws were mere inches away from her face.

"Did I not tell you to not order this Sesshoumaru around?"

She swallowed again as she looked into his golden orbs, but she decided not to back away but stand tall. "I don't order you around, I just want to help."

"By letting me follow you to such a pathetic party, and with all humans and elves none the less?" his nose crinkled in disgust. "I will not forget this stench in another thousand years."

Her eyes narrowed, and she quickly put a hand on his chest, summoning her powers and blasting him a few feet away. "It was thought as a distraction, in case you were homesick, and I still think you should have some fun and not be so serious. And we don't stink!"

He snorted. "What gives you the impression I am homesick? I already told you I wasn't."

"Stop joking, you just have to be! Everyone misses their home and their family, I at least always do! I bet you miss your home too, and your brother, and your friends!"

"I told you Inuyasha is a fool. It is a blessing to be away from his stupidity. And this Sesshoumaru doesn't have any friends."

Her eyes widened. "You don't have any friends?"

"Tell me woman, are you deaf? Friends are useless."

She looked with pity at him, no surprise he was lonely and had no friends, with his attitude… but still. Then she thought off what he said of his brother. She smiled a bit at him. "You are jealous," she stated.

Her only answer was the momentarily widening of his eyes. "This Sesshoumaru does not know what you mean."

She throwed her hands in the air in an irritated gesture. "Kami, can't you stop saying `this Sesshoumaru'? What's wrong with you? That's no way of talking." He only smirked at her, obviously enjoying her little outburst. She gritted her teeth before continuing. "I am speaking of your brother. You're jealous of him."

He frowned a bit. "How do you mean?"

She shrugged. "You know, the usual jealousy between siblings. It happens within every family. I can tell you are jealous. I don't know of what, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. It's just, I recognise it. Believe me, the rows Kikyou and I had… She's jealous at me, because she thinks I'm mother's favourite. But that's not true… And I always thought she was father's favourite, but in fact, our parents love us both in the same way…"

He seemed to think about her words, and she jumped as he spoke after a long silence. "Well, we do have our issues…"

"Funny," she tilted her head a bit to the side. "I can't really imagine you shouting at your brother in one of those typical sibling fights."

"Who says I shout?"

"What else would you suggest doing then?" He gave her a flat and annoyed look, and suddenly, it dawned on her. "You… you mean you actually FIGHT?!"

"Of course. Being that one of our `issues' is a sword. I must note that my poor brother seems to loose a lot. But don't worry, at least he's good at yelling. In fact, it is the only thing he does. Acting without thinking. He has no tactic whatsoever. He would make a poor general."

She snorted. "And you would be good at tactic? In war, yes, but in real life, no way!"

He looked at her with a bit of amusement in his eyes. "Really?"

"Yes, you're too arrogant, thinking everyone will comply with your will. No decent and polite asking with you, you just order around. Of course, the fact everyone obeys you doesn't help too much."

He smirked now and he stepped closer towards her. "Oh, but not everyone obeys…"

She became nervous, but covered it by asking more things. "What's so special about a sword that you would fight about it?"

He looked at her as if she was crazy. "Tetsusaiga is one of the most powerful swords you can get. Toukijin can rival it, but Tetsusaiga has the power to kill 100 youkai with one swipe." Her jaw dropped, but he continued as if he didn't saw it. "Inuyasha inherited the sword from our father, a decision which I still question. I should have gotten it."

She frowned as she looked at him. "Didn't you get something then?"

A soft chuckle. "Oh I did." He pointed at Tenseiga which hang at his side. "I got Tenseiga. This sword can heal 100 beings, but of what use is such a sword to me?" A snort. "I got the most useless sword there is, a sword that can't kill."

"I don't think it's useless. It's a healing sword, it has its purpose. I would be glad if I got something like that…" She reached out to touch the sword, but he caught her hand and glared at her.

"Keep your hands with you."

She swallowed and gave him a weak smile, trying to hide she was feeling nervous, again. He however narrowed his eyes at her, and she stiffened as he began speaking. "Your sister, Kikyou… there is something else. You are still jealous of her… there is something about her you envy…"

She looked up at him with wide eyes. This guy apparently loved to change subjects every minute. "W-what…"

He looked her directly into her eyes and she gasped at the intensity of his gaze. "Don't play games with me, elf. You are so easily to read… Always smiling, always cheery… I asked you before, why do you always smile?"

"And I answered you, didn't I?"

"Yes, but I am not satisfied. Your smiles… they are not always true…"

Kagome held in her breath. He noticed? "H-how do mean, not true…?"

He cocked his head as he looked at her. "One second, when someone is near, you smile. When that person is gone, and you are alone, you look… sad."

"And so what if I look sad? What does it matter?"

"You should either look sad, or smile. Stop faking, it irritates me."

She glared at him. "Oh, so just because it doesn't fit you I should change my behaviour? I smile if I want to, I don't want anyone to worry about such a useless person as I am, got it?!"

"You think you are useless?"

"Well, it's obvious, isn't it? Kikyou, Sango, Miroku, all the others, they have something to do. Fight, work, I don't know. All I have to do is stay here and feel bored. Every day is the same. I want to do something!"

"So you want to become a soldier?"

"No! I would never be able to hurt or kill someone!"

"Exactly. And that's why you heal, don't you? I saw it with my own eyes, you have incredibly healing powers. Does that mean, if you would not be here, the people here would have someone else to look at their wounds and diseases?"

"N-not really. Kaede knows some medicine, but she's old herself. And Kikyou is mostly fighting…"

"So you are useless. It's not important if you are gone, it doesn't matter people would die then."

"No, it does matter! I can't leave them!" she yelled at him.

"So why are you useless then?" he shot back. "Not that I would particularly care if any elf or human would die, but that is what would happen then, wouldn't it?"

She thought about it, and decided he was right. She wasn't that useless. She still had some purpose… She averted her gaze and looked down at her feet, as she was getting uncomfortable with the way he looked at her. It was then that she realised he still held her hand. Blushing like mad, she coughed once.

The only response she got was him raising his eyebrow. "Uhm… my hand?" her voice was barely a whisper, but he heard it and his eyes widened as he realised it too. He quickly released her hand, looking disgusted, but surprisingly, she was not offended. After talking to him, she just had this feeling, he was not that bad. He was rude, arrogant, cold, but he managed to cheer her up. She didn't felt that useless anymore, and thankful for that, she flashed him a smile. Not one of those sad ones, but a true, happy smile.

Something passed his eyes then, but she couldn't exactly pinpoint what emotion it was. Soon, he was his cold self again as he shot her another glare and spoke again. "I would appreciate it if you could lift that spell. I wish to retreat to my rooms."

She nodded once, lifted the spell and watched how he turned and walked away, so silent you couldn't hear him. `Thank you for making me feel better Sesshoumaru. I know you probably didn't even realise what you did, but I'm grateful none the less. Now I will try to help you. I will find out why you are so cold. You say I fake, but what are you doing then?'

*

~Naraku's castle, Northern Lands~

Kagura silently wondered if fate was playing a sick joke with her. Not only was she forged to stay within the presence of her father for a few hours, and soon a few days, but that stupid wolf was here too. She was sitting next to her father, together with her younger sister Kanna. Across them sat Kouga with two of his friends.

And all that just because those stupid elves captured Lord Sesshoumaru.

Now they had to negotiate with them, and so they were leaving tomorrow. Kouga and Inuyasha would be there too, so she inwardly groaned. Kagura was not a woman who was fond of two adults behaving like children.

But still, she would rather watch those two fighting then be around Naraku.

He still hadn't informed her about his plan with their prisoners, but she had a feeling it was nothing good. As she asked him if she should kill them and give them back dead, he answered; "Not exactly, there is more to it."

But that still didn't bring her any further. She was still just as clueless, and that's why she was thinking about it for two hours now, not paying any attention to the conversation that was going.

So that was why she almost fell over of surprise as her father suddenly addressed her. The wolf began laughing, and she just glared at him, secretly fiddling with her fan. Oh how he was pissing her off. Always that cocky smile, never self-conscious…

She tried to put her best smile on her face as she looked at her father, but he probably knew what she thought of him anyway, seeing how his eyes lit up with amusement. Great, that meant she would be punished later.

"Kagura, if you would be so kind to bring Lord Kouga to his rooms so he can get some sleep before we leave tomorrow?"

"Yes father"

As she showed Kouga to his room, she couldn't help but slam the door shut as loud as she could.

*

Dear diary,

A lot of things happened since I wrote two months ago. Kikyou has made a prisoner, Lord Sesshoumaru.

I can tell you, he's a jerk. And an ass. And probably a mass murderer. But oddly enough, I still like him, somehow. Because somewhere, deep down, I can feel he is a good person. There is just something that changed him, something must've happened in his past, I refuse to believe he has always been this way.

He noticed how depressed I am sometimes, and he even made it clear to me that I'm not that useless. He didn't do it intentionally, I'm sure of that, in fact, if he would ever know, he would probably go on a rampage, but that doesn't matter to me now. All that matters is that finally somebody noticed it. When I talk to him, no matter how rude he is, I somehow feel comfortable. I don't know why, every other person would be offended, scared, or something like that. True, I feel nervous sometimes, I mean, you can hardly get a decent conversation with him without getting threatened to get killed at least once, but when I think of it, I never really panicked. I'm so confused, I just don't know what to think of him anymore.

But he still remains a prisoner, and a youkai; an enemy. He will have to leave sometime. I'm not sure if I think this is something positive or negative. I don't know what to think. On the one hand, I think it would be better if he would go back, if we would give him his freedom back, it just doesn't feels right to capture anyone, and especially not him. He has something about him, something mysterious, maybe it's his aura, or how he looks, but I just have the feeling it is wrong to take his freedom.

On the other hand, I don't want him to go. I want to help him, I want to talk to him, I want so many things. I would want to be his friend. Maybe that's silly, but it's just how I feel. And besides, he needs friends, isn't it?

But somehow, I have the feeling I have something else to worry about too. Tomorrow, Kikyou and Sango left, together with some troops. For the first time in years, I didn't watch them leave with something like `so what am I supposed to do now?' but with something like, `they do what they have to do, and I stay here, help people and do what I have to do'.

But that's not really what I should worry about, I think. They will be alright, at least, I hope so. I just have this foreboding feeling, like something will happen in the future, like there will be a big change in my life.

I always had those feelings, and if something would truly happen, it could be tomorrow, but also in a couple of years, it is difficult to tell. But I think it has something to do with the Jewel. When I touched it this morning, an image flashed trough my mind, an image of a man with dark hair, and crimson eyes.

I don't know who this is, I mean, I hardly know anyone, just the people that live here. I always stay here, I never went far from home, and when the castle is attacked, I'm too busy with healing soldiers. Maybe that's why I never really saw Sesshoumaru before, even though he fought here.

So I don't know who this man is, and I didn't ask anyone, afraid it would mean nothing, but still, this man scares me. After I saw the image, I dropped the Jewel and stood there, frozen to the spot. That look in his eyes… I know one thing, he is evil. I can feel it.

I can only hope it means nothing, and that I will never see this person for real…

Kagome

*************************************************************** ****************

I'm sorry, but at the moment I don't have time to respond to reviewers… I just want to thank you all for reviewing, ok? I don't even have much time to update, but still, here's a new chapter. The problem is, I had a row with my mother, so the computer is off limit for now… Only when I behave I'm allowed to go on the computer, but only for an hour or so… Anyway, I hope you like the chapter, and I'll see your reviews sometime, even if it's a hundred years from now! (just joking, hehe)

Special thanks to Abby (bubblesbb03) who will beta for me from now on! Â Â