InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Memories of you ❯ Chapter 22

Kagome sat quietly. She understood that the retelling of one's life could be a hard job. Her heart ached for the loss of Sango, Miroku and the others. More and more memories were flooding her brain and she could see their faces and hear their voices in her mind. Her heart ached even more for Inuyasha. She couldn't see how he could watch everyone be taken from him and still be sane. She wanted to get up and wrap herself around him and offer him some sort of comfort but instinctively, she realized this wasn't the time. Somehow she could sense that he really needed to get everything out.

 

ooOOoo

 

Inuyasha stood and returned to the wall of windows. Watching the city go by did little to distract from the pain that had crept into his heart. It had been centuries since he had told anyone the whole story. It was hard enough to repeat it now but he knew Kagome needed to know. Staring out into the night, he couldn't help but wonder how she would take the fact that there had been others.

 

He would be the first to admit that he had been lonely in the years before Sesshomaru found him. He had deliberately cut himself off from human closeness because it hurt too much to watch them age and die. He could now understand why Shippo left before he had to see everyone leave this earth. Inuyasha knew he should have done the same thing, but it was just too hard to leave the only reminders he had left of Kagome.

 

The encounters with others had been a vain attempt to stave off the all-consuming need for affection. Inuyasha had known deep down that the only one he could offer his love to was Kagome. The need for affection was the one thing he could not fight, not after spending time with Kagome, Sango, Miroku and Kaede. They all provided affection to the little boy in Inuyasha and once they were gone, there was no one else. Encounters meant nothing. They were attempts at forgetting the loneliness, of forgetting the pain.

 

But he always found himself alone again.

 

Inuyasha took a deep breath. He had survived all these years, waiting for Kagome. There was no losing courage now. Turning to face her, he began to tell her the rest of the story.

 

ooOOoo

 

 

 

When Sesshomaru finally found his brother, Inuyasha was in Owada-no-tomari. He couldn't help but wonder how he had ended up on the coast of Japan. Sesshomaru was impressed with the activity of what he had thought of as a little port village; it was quite the bustling small city. After spending so much time surrounded by demons in the western lands, being around so many humans aggravated him but rumors and his instincts had led him to this place to find Inuyasha.

 

Sesshomaru had to admit that finding Inuyasha wasn't as easy as he thought it would be. When his brother had first disappeared, he didn't concern himself. He figured the hanyou would eventually reappear. After all, Inuyasha had made it an annoying habit to appear and make a nuisance of himself. He understood the pain Inuyasha was going through with the loss of his humans because he felt it himself. Over the years, he had kept an eye on Rin. He watched her blossom from a bedraggled little girl into a beautiful woman and devoted wife and mother. She was a formidable companion to Kohaku and Sesshomaru had to admit, he was a good choice of husband for his Rin, even though he would deny it if ever asked.

 

He was by her side when Rin went into the netherworld. Upon his arrival to the small hut Rin and Kohaku called home, Sesshomaru could sense death was near. Upon finding Rin in the room alone, he held her in his arms, he told himself, to help her breath easier. He would never tell he just wanted to feel her closeness. In her dying breaths, she told him how she had always regarded him as her father and that she had been honored to be by his side. Sesshomaru found he could not reply to her statement. He simply squeezed her hand and for her, that was enough. Giving him a bright smile that reminded him of the little girl he bought back from Hell, Rin closed her eyes and breathed her last. Sesshomaru laid her gently on the futon. Gazing into her sweet face, he brushed the hair from her forehead and planted a gentle kiss there. Walking out of the room, he coolly gazed at the face of Kohaku. Without any hint of emotion, Sesshomaru made the pronouncement.

 

“She is gone.”

 

He then turned on his heel and walked out of the hut, into the night. He never looked back.

 

It was another ten years before he began to seek out Inuyasha. With the sweeping changes taking place in Japan, ruling the Western Lands occupied a great deal of his time. After the passing of over two hundred years, Sesshomaru decided to undertake the search for his brother. With the amount of time that passed since their last meeting, he was curious to see how time had treated Inuyasha.

 

“Maybe he has matured into something worthy of having father's blood in his veins.”

 

The messengers he sent out returned with no news and weary of their incompetence he decided to handle the search himself. He felt it was time for Inuyasha to learn the ways of the inu-youkai. After the defeat of Naraku, Inuyasha had unknowingly become well respected amongst nobles in the youkai community. Such a feat was rare for hanyou. Refusing to divulge his plans to his advisors, Sesshomaru set out to retrieve his brother. Heading to the little village where he'd last seen him, Sesshomaru wasn't necessarily surprised that he was not there. What did surprise him, however, was the fact no one in the village knew him. He realized that Inuyasha left the region after his human companions had died.

 

Having nothing else to go on but his own youkai senses and intuitions, he set off, crisscrossing Japan on a years-long, sometimes vain attempt to find his last living relative. Upon arriving at the southwestern coast, he could only hope his search was finally over.

 

He had learned Inuyasha lived in a small hut in a tiny fishing village. As Sesshomaru traveled and the city fell away, he could begin to appreciate the beauty of the coastal area, seeing its allure: the sea was a beautiful sight. He took a deep breath and took in the briny smell of the sea, allowing himself to relax for the first time in a long time.

 

After an hour of travel, Sesshomaru found himself at a tiny village. Stopping at the first hut, he encountered an old man repairing fishing nets. The man looked up at Sesshomaru, taking in his appearance and lingering on his hair and eyes.

 

“You related to that boy that lives out by the way? You have the same hair and eyes.”

 

Sesshomaru raised his eyebrow. The lack of manners slightly rankled but he learned not to expect much from most humans.

 

“Yes. That…boy… is my brother”

 

The old man pointed to a path leading past the main group of huts.

 

“Follow that path. He'll be at home. He always is this time of evening.”

 

The man then looked back down at his fishing net, intent on his job. Sesshomaru bristled at the idea of being dismissed by this lowly creature, but moved on in the direction the old man had given him. He noted as he moved out of the village that the smell of the sea became stronger. The path was covered with white shells that crunched at every footstep. After walking for a few minutes, he could see the roof of a hut on the horizon. The breeze smelled strongly of the sea and of Inuyasha.

 

Inuyasha heard footsteps on the path. He knew that it had to be someone that was a stranger to the village; most of the villagers didn't disturb him in the evenings. He had grown to enjoy the quiet of the evenings by the sea, just listening to the sound of the tide, finding himself at peace for the first time in years. He wasn't sure how long he would stay here, but for the moment, it seemed to be the best place for him. As the wind shifted direction, he was shocked by the scent that carried to his sensitive nose. He would know that scent anywhere, but it had been hundreds of years since he had smelled it. Frowning, he stepped out of the hut.

 

“Sesshomaru.”

 

Sesshomaru reached the front of the hut, casting an assessing look at the man that stood before him. He was surprised to see how much his brother had changed over the years. He had grown slightly taller but still retained his slim, muscular form. He now wore his hair pulled up in a queue, which instantly reminded Sesshomaru of their father.

 

“I've been looking for you for a long time, little brother.”

 

Inuyasha gave a snort. “Why would you do that? You weren't ever overly concerned before.”

 

Sesshomaru nodded solemnly. “I know, but let's just say things have changed.”

 

Giving his brother the once over, Inuyasha sighed. “I guess you might as well come in. There's nowhere in the village for you to stay.”

 

He didn't wait for Sesshomaru to answer, turning and going back into his hut. Sesshomaru stood for a moment before following. Removing his shoes at the door, he took in Inuyasha's home. The first thing that struck him was how neat the little hut was. A fire was blazing against the cooling evening air. The smell of roasting fish filled the air and he watched as Inuyasha put on a pot of water for tea. Taking a seat across the fire, he simply watched silently as his brother finished preparing a simple meal of grilled fish and rice. To his surprise, Inuyasha offered him a plate of fish and rice along with the tea. He accepted, silently but graciously, uncharacteristically touched by the hospitality. Maybe his quest to find Inuyasha and bring him home wouldn't be in vain.

 

The silence continued as the two brothers ate dinner. Once completed, Inuyasha took the bowls and walked down to the beach; after a moment's hesitation, Sesshomaru decided to join him. As Inuyasha washed the bowls in the sea, Sesshomaru took in the full sight of the ocean. The massive expanse of water was awe-inspiring, even to the jaded demon.

 

“It is a beautiful place.”

 

Inuyasha looked out at the horizon. “Yeah, it is. It's peaceful.”

 

Sesshomaru looked down at the kneeling form of his bother. “Is that why you left your forest? Looking for peace?”

 

Inuyasha's face became thoughtful.

 

“Call it what you want. I think I was looking for a way to end the pain. I'll even admit to running from the hurt.”

 

Sesshomaru was taken aback at Inuyasha's honesty. Continuing to watch the sea, he thought about what Inuyasha said, knowing his brother had never been one for voicing his feelings. He knew that the passage of time had probably been hard on the hanyou, but he needed to gauge just how much things had changed with him.

 

He didn't know what happened all those years ago when Naraku finally met his end. The only thing Sesshomaru was certain of was the fact that the jewel was gone and the miko had vanished without a trace. The few times he had visited the human village Inuyasha called home, no one spoke of what became of her and his sensitive demon senses could detect sadness in the aura of the hanyou.

 

He somewhat belatedly realized that the conversation he was trying to engage in now with Inuyasha was one that probably should have happened hundreds of years ago. He had to admit to himself that he avoided seeing Inuyasha because it reminded him of what he had also lost.

 

“Well, Inuyasha, since this seems to be the night for confessions, I need to make mine. You were not alone in running from things.”

 

Inuyasha sighed. “Rin?”

 

Sesshomaru gave a barely perceptible chuckle. “Perceptive. As she got older, I started to avoid her. I knew what was coming, yet I was powerless to stop it.”

 

Collecting the dishes from the ocean's edge, Inuyasha stood. Staring at his brother for a moment, he finally spoke.

 

“It took awhile, but I finally understood I had a lesson to learn. There was a reason Kagome, Sango and Miroku came into my life. I had to learn to trust again. I had to learn to believe in something bigger than me.” He paused, his eyes glazing over as his turned away. “Now, I'm learning how to have faith”

 

Sesshomaru stood silent. He couldn't help but wonder who had taken his impetuous little brother and replaced him with this man that stood in front of him.

 

`He is so much like Father.'

 

As cool salt-laden breeze tore at both demons' hair, Inuyasha started moving back towards the hut.

 

“Come on inside. I'm sure you didn't come all this way to find out my philosophy on life.”

 

Returning the hut, Inuyasha straightened up and began night preparations. Looking around the small hut, Sesshomaru noticed Tetsusaiga in the corner. Realizing he still wore his own swords, he took them off and placed them next to Inuyasha's. Inuyasha eyebrows went up but he didn't comment. Once he was satisfied the hut was secure for the night, he sat across the fire from Sesshomaru. With no preamble, he got straight to the point.

 

“Why are you here, Sesshomaru?”

 

This time Sesshomaru actually smiled. That was more of the Inuyasha that he was familiar with, abrupt and straight to the point.

 

“I have a proposal for you. I wish for you to return with me to my home.”

 

Inuyasha stared at Sesshomaru as if he had grown an extra head. Out of all the possible reasons he had played in his mind for his brother's sudden visit, this was the one scenario that never came to mind.

 

“Are you serious? Come and live with you? Why would I do something like that?”

 

Picking his words carefully, Sesshomaru began to explain.

 

“Japan is changing at a rapid pace. You know as well as I do, youkai are either dying or learning to exist beside humans. I refuse to give up my position of power in this world, but I think it's time to become a part of it.”

 

Inuyasha knew this was true. As he traveled over Japan, his encounters with yokai were few and far between. Granted, he wondered how this changing world would fit in with what Midoriko had told him about his future with Kagome. Still, this was Sesshomaru. In the back of his mind, he couldn't help but wonder if he had an ulterior motive for this proposal.

 

Sesshomaru knew his past history with Inuyasha played a big role in his doubt of him, but he was also not the same demon he had been back then. The years with Rin had slowly changed him. Even after she was married to Kohaku, he still felt it was his responsibility to take care of Rin. When he was younger, he struggled to understand what his father saw in humans, but being with Rin for all of those years had softened his heart. She gave him unconditional love and expected nothing in return. With her death, he finally realized what his father was trying to instill in him: without compassion, without heart, even the most powerful demon is little more than a monster.

 

He realized it was going to hard to convince Inuyasha that he had learned his own lessons, but he was going to try.

 

“Things have changed for me, Inuyasha. You have learned your lessons. I have learned my own. Maybe that was the reason for us to spend these years apart. We both had some growing to do.”

 

The fire cracked in the hut, breaking the silence between the two brothers. Inuyasha thought long and hard about what Sesshomaru had said and what he was proposing. Growing up, the only thing he had desired was a family. He had held out hope with Kikyou and later with Kagome, only to be crushed both times. Would this be a chance to actually build a family relationship with the one person who shared the same blood?

 

Shaking his head, he stood up. Going to a chest against the wall, he pulled out two futons and blankets. Tossing a futon and blanket to Sesshomaru, Inuyasha began to unroll his own.

 

“I would suggest staying near the fire. It gets a little chilly at night.”

 

Sesshomaru prepared his own place for the night. He then watched as Inuyasha banked the fire, dimming the glow in the room. Lying back on the futon, he stared at the ceiling, listening to the sounds of the sea. They had lain quietly for over an hour, when Inuyasha interrupted his thoughts.

 

“Allow me some time to consider. I really need to think things through.”

 

Sesshomaru was inwardly pleased at this response. At least, Inuyasha hadn't come right out and said no.

 

“I'd expect nothing less, little brother.”

 

With a grunt, Inuyasha rolled over and pulled his blanket up. Soon the hut was quiet, filled only with the sounds of the sea.