InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Much Needed Healing ❯ A Miko Lost ( Chapter 2 )

Kagome awoke with a groan and cracked open one eye to peer at the digital clock on her bed side table. The read out told her the current time was 4:47, and she was hardly shocked at the late hour. She had gone out drinking, again, last night.

Her nights were all the same anymore, running into one another like a river flowing downhill, and that was just fine with her. She woke up every afternoon, sometimes with a man in her bed, but more often than not, alone. She would have a shower, wander to the kitchen for a bite of something to eat and a bit of the hair of the dog, and then get dressed and wander back to the bar. Once there, she would drink away her sorrows, pick up some guy who probably wouldn't stay the whole night, and then pass out.

Kagome was a full fledged alcoholic and she knew it. But she didn't give a damn. She knew that her former friends considered her a tragedy, her life a waste, but she didn't give a damn about them or their opinions either. All she cared about was the deep gash in her heart that had refused to heal, even after four years. Whoever had said that love was eternal was right. They probably meant it in some kind of romantic way, but that's not the way things had worked out for her. For Kagome, her love was eternal, and the object of her devotion dead. All she wanted was to forget about the boy with the puppy ears, but no matter how much she drank, no matter how many one night stands she had, memories of Inuyasha would never leave her, and her heart would never heal.

With a sigh, she rolled out of bed and began her afternoon ritual.

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After a quick shower, Kagome walked to the kitchen and grabbed a slice of slightly stale bread. Shoving the bread into the toaster, she moved to the freezer and pulled out a bottle of vodka. Turning as she uncapped the bottle, she noticed the rapidly flashing light on her answering machine. She moseyed over to it and pressed the play button.

“Kagome? It's your mother. Listen honey, we're all getting really worried about you. None of us have seen you in months, and the last bill I got from your credit card company had some really big bar bills on it. Sweetie, we really need to talk to you. I know that things have been difficult for you since....”

Kagome pressed the delete button before her mother's recorded voice could specify when things went wrong. She lifted the bottle to her lips and gave a deep pull. Setting it down on the counter, she unceremoniously wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand before retrieving her toast from the toaster. She wasn't stupid, she knew when her life had gone bust, but there was no help for it now. She nibbled at the dry toast, and despite her best efforts, her mind slipped back in time to the day that she had lost everything.

She had almost died when the group had faced Naraku, and after they had retreated, and she had tended to everyone's wounds, Inuyasha had asked her to come into the forest to talk. She had, of course, gone without a second thought. She had not been particularly surprised when he had brought her to the part of his woods that contained the goshinboku and the well, as it was the place they had first met, and the one spot he felt the safest and most comfortable in.

She had however, been shocked when he had, without a word, pulled her tightly to him and kissed her passionately. It was everything that she had ever dreamed of, and as his strong arms wrapped around her small frame, she gave herself over completely to him. She never felt a thing as he removed the jewel shards from her neck. Later, she had been furious with herself for not understanding what it was he was doing, especially since he had done almost the same thing to her once before. But the fact remained that she noticed nothing.

When he had broken the kiss and pulled away from her, he had looked so very sad. She remembered clearly the way his ears had drooped and his eyes had grown moist. Pulling her tightly to him again, he had told her, “I can't do this to you anymore Kagome. I could never forgive myself if something happened to you. If you were killed, I would die from the loss, the loneliness, and the shame. Kagome...... I love you.”

She had snuggled closer to his chest and oblivious of the true meaning behind those words, had only told him that she loved him too, had loved him for as long as she could remember.

He had buried his face in her hair and inhaled her scent one last time before stepping away from her. “Then you understand why I'm doing this. I'm sorry Kagome, but if it all works out, if I live, I WILL come and find you.” And with that, he had shoved her into the well.

When she had landed back on her side, she had tried for days to get back despite the loss of the jewel shard. Only when she had jumped into the well with such force that she fell down and shattered the delicate bones in her wrist when she hit bottom, did her mother and grandfather seal off the well with nailed down two by fours.

It wasn't long after she got out of the hospital that she had graduated from school. She was amazed that she had still managed to graduate at the top of her class, despite all of her absences, but she had. She had never had time to fill out college applications though, and she still, four years later had yet to do so. She now doubted that she ever would.

Her mother had remarried. A nice man, who had more than enough money to spare, and they had rented her this apartment. They had hoped that with time she would overcome her sadness, but the years ticked by, and she was still out of school, out of work, and drinking more than any sane human would. Apparently, the free ride was about to run out, or at least that's how Kagome interpreted the message on the answering machine. She'd have to face her mother soon, at least call her, but deep inside, she was ashamed. She didn't want anyone she knew to see her like this, and yet she could not bring herself to stop drinking. The pain inside of her was too great.

He had not come to find her. It had been four years, and there had been no word from him. She had yet to run into any demon that she knew. Once, she had sensed the presence of a demon close by, but the street had been so crowded that it had left the area before she could get a lock on who it was. To Kagome, this all meant two things.

Naraku had been defeated; after all, the world was still here, despite the low count of demons. It also meant that she could not deny the one thing that truly broke her heart.

Inuyasha was dead.