InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ My Despised Soul Mate ❯ Unexpected Spark, Long Expected Death. ( Chapter 1 )

My Despised Soul Mate

Summary: A tale concerning true love and high adventure about a girl who found her soul mate, only to discover that soul mate-ism is a highly overrated quality.

Rating: PG-13 for language, angst and bad author jokes.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story. I don't get any money for writing this. Honest. You can try and sue me… and if you find anything of value that belongs to me… can we split?

Pairing: Inuyasha and Kagome.

A/N: I actually changed the way I'm going to put quotations.

"This is speech"

'This is thought'

* * * This is a break

~*~*~ This is a jump in the time sequence ~*~*~

"In truth, the term 'Soul mate' describes two or more persons whose spirit pulsation have the same vibration."

-Jorge Raul Olguín.

Chapter 1: Unexpected Spark, Long Expected Death.

The first time Kagome cast her eyes upon Inuyasha she swore her heart had given a beat or two more than it should. The small, familiar atmosphere somehow oddly perturbed by his presence.

Kagome had come to several reunions like this before. They were familiar reunions, or the next best thing. The four families had come from Japan in slightly the same interval of time and had sent their younger children to the same school. The kids had been friends since the first day of school and the parents since the first morning after seeing their children off in the school playground. Ever since that moment, as stranded as they were to their own families, they had become each other's family. Thus, holding gatherings as often as they could to keep the use of their mother tongue alive in a world dominated by English.

"Hi dear, how have you been?" had smiled Mrs. Yaegashi just before they entered the living room. "You can stay with us today or go downstairs with the children, it's your choice." She told her gently. Mrs. Yaegashi was a friend of her mother. She had long black hair and a permanent wicked smile on her face. Her wrists were constantly full of twinkling chains and her clothes were always of a loud color such as yellow or red. This day was no exception, thought Kagome, as she cast a quick glance at the all-orange outfit the slim older woman wore.

Mrs. Yaegashi paced back to the living room, dragging Kagome with her before the other could reply. Kagome then shoot a glance at all the recognizable faces when her eyes set the sight of the hanyou. Funny. She was pretty sure she had met all members of all four families. This had to be a new acquisition to the growing happy family, she thought sarcastically. Her heart was racing ahead of the normal rate for a moment and she could swear his ears had flipped in her general direction, though his gaze was rather fixed in her parents as he introduced himself. Kagome had tried to listen to the exchange unsuccessfully, for she had been active greeting everyone in the room.

Souta and Shippou ran downstairs, with the rest of the children. Usually, Kagome would go with them, play with them and joke with them, regardless of the age gap. Children generally looked upon Kagome as an older sister and fellow conspirator: mature enough to guide and young enough to trust. But this time it was different. This time he was there, a stranger. His golden eyes, white locks and adorable puppy ears mesmerizing her. Luring her into staying in that room so she could figure out whom he was.

She decided to sit down on the low couch of the living room and pretended she was immersing in the conversation the men were having on politics. Usually, she would participate, having a smart remark to make. Not this time, though. Somehow this stranger made her brain melt into cheese. 'Hm, melted cheese… that tastes good'. She shook her head. There would be no brilliant quotes to take from her today.

His eyes found her and she acknowledged him with a small graceful movement of her head. It had been the perfect mature response if it wasn't for the burning of her cheeks and the sudden tremble of her body. It was this tremble that made her spill the tea Mrs. Yaegashi was handing her. She let out a loud gasp and stood up. The chatter suddenly stopped and she found herself doing a very good impression of a tomato.

"Oh, dear… are you alright?" Mrs. Yaegashi asked.

"Yes" she grumbled.

"Well, let's get you dry and clean honey" Mrs. Yaegashi said, taking her arm in her 'no nonsense' manner and dragged her out of the room and towards the bathroom.

When she was finally dry (or mostly dry) she and Mrs. Yaegashi returned to the living room where Mrs. Daidouji, another friend of her mother, was pouring the tea (or rather, more tea) while talking to the young stranger. And by the way he replied, Kagome guessed he would be around 24 or 26 years old. He seemed to be mature. She shuddered at the thought. She was 20 years old but she felt like a girl still.

"Inuyasha," said Mrs. Daidouji "I heard from your aunt here…" she waved her hand towards Mrs. Yaegashi. "…You had quite a nice time Wednesday at the concert!"

"It was progressive symphonic metal. It was a pretty entertaining evening." He answered politely, taking a sip of his tea. 'Progressive what?' Thought Kagome bewildered.

"Oh, but I meant the classical concert!" replied Mrs. Daidouji, smiling and shaking her dark brown hair.

"That was Tuesday." He corrected her. "It was so awesome. I didn't pay anything! They just saw my face and figured I was a student. I had a great time." His eyes turning to that huge glassy color everyone gets while talking about something they feel deeply about. He sounds like a music junkie, thought Kagome amused.

A rumbling noise interrupted her psychoanalysis, however, and she realized in horror she had not eaten during the whole day. Her stomach was demanding her lack of attention. She had quite forgotten with all the homework she had done for neurosciences. Not that psychology was a bad career; it was just… evil at the time of asking for homework.

Slowly, she rose from her seat and walked towards the kitchen in order to help serving the food (and steal a few bites). Somehow it was hard for her to keep her pulse steady under Inuyasha's gaze.

"Kagome!" cried Shippou, "Are you coming downstairs? Touya is showing us his computer games!"

"Das ghine I mwil gho dawn inashec" replied Kagome (translation of the official mouthful-English dictionary: That's fine, I will go down in a sec.)

"They have 'the lord of the rings: the return of the king'" Souta's voice could be heard from downstairs. Taunting her. Brothers are evil. Especially little brothers. Some day, when she was a famous psychologist she would write a book about how evil little brothers really are.

After taking a sip of coke, Kagome went downstairs for two hours of pure delight with the children. Ok, so she couldn't stay away from them for a long time. She liked children. Besides, she was the absolute champion when it came to play that particular game. Especially with Legolas. Especially with the double arrow-shoot you get after Legolas achieves level 10. Double arrow shooting was so much fun!

After a while of playing the team-mode version of the game, they decided it was time for Tekken 4. The boys turned off the computer and went to the playstation 2. Kagome decided she would go back upstairs, not without smiling at the boy's enthusiasm and assuring Shippou she would be back in a short while. She made it for the stairs as she listened faintly to the TV set make all sort of fighting noises accompanied by a sudden "chicken!" The boys squealed in delight and she could make out Shippou's voice saying:

"Eat the Chicken! Chicken very good!"

As she stepped up she distinguished her mothers voice. The room was oddly quiet, only the soft murmur of her mother's voice could be heard, and as Kagome stepped closer she understood why. Her mother's eyes were darkened by a shadow of sorrow as she spoke of Shippou's arrival to the family. She was explaining it to Inuyasha.

Shippou was not really a member of the family. At least, not a real relative. Kagome's mother had worked in an "early childhood matters" program before moving to England. The boy had been alone. Both his parents had died and the community had taken care of him. They had asked Kagome's mother to adopt him for surely social services would take the little boy to an adoption center. He was far too expensive to keep for this poverty-doomed people. Kagome could remember it. She had been there with her mother when Shippou buried himself in Kagome's chest, begging her to be his mother. It had not been any problem for her to feel an almost immediate maternal love for this cute and fuzzy little youkai.

Kagome sat once again among the "adults" while the dull conversation was filling the air. Her eyes were focused on Inuyasha. She could not understand that tingly feeling she had when she saw him or heard him speak. It was confusing. She didn't like confusing. She liked simple. Simple things. Did she like this Inuyasha guy? Oh, yeah. How could that be if she had not even talked to him yet? Confusing. Not good. She already had a boyfriend, for crying out loud!

Finally, it was time to leave. She had not figured anything out of the stranger. Was he coming to visit? Was he staying in London? She didn't know. How old was he? Was he married? Did he work? Study? All the questions she could not ask him were crowding in Kagome's head and before she could realize it, she had remained behind with only Inuyasha in the living room.

She was even more stunned when she heard herself say the words: "Hi, I'm Kagome! We were not formally introduced." And she extended her hand at him.

"Inuyasha." He said briefly while shaking her hand.

"So… um… are you staying here? Or just visiting?"

"Staying for a couple of months. English course."

"Oh." Came the smart reply. "And… er… how old are you?"

"20, and you?"

"I am 20 years old too."

"I bet you thought I was older." He said with a wicked grin that reminded her of his aunt.

"No, not really." She lied.

~*~*~

It was dark. The streetlamps glowed all around her. The snow was slowly making its way down. The streets were lonely and she could only hear the soft impact of her running shoes on the pavement. Running. Fast.

It was cold. The wind started to blow harder. The snowflakes began to pierce her skin like tiny needles. The thumping of her heart was stronger now. She ignored it. The aching of her heart was almost impossible to bear. She ignored that too. She could not take it anymore. Her father telling her she was a waste. She could not stand it. She knew it was true. She could not deal with the truth.

She crossed the street almost without looking at the cars that were coming. There was a loud screech as one of the cars almost collapses against her. The driver cursed. She paid no heed and kept running. To the river, her safe haven. She jumped the small wall that separated the road from the bank of the river. It was a hollow place and the wall, although quite small on the side of the street, was as tall as her whole body standing upright on the shore side.

She put her back to the wall. Sanctuary. She let the hot tears finally escape her eyes. Her long locks of hair had found a way out of the hairclip and now covered her face like a thick black curtain. Her hands covered her eyes. Her shoulders were shaking. Her knees slowly bending under the weight of so much emotional pressure. Her heart was heavy with grief.

~*~*~

She was absolutely beautiful. Kagome was. He had been there bored as hell when she walked in and unconsciously smiled at him. Her black hair cascading into her face. She continued looking at him sideways and he flipped his ears in order to catch the rich sound of her voice as she greeted everyone.

If Inuyasha had been given half a chance he would have talked to her. There had been no such luck so when everyone started to stand up and say her slacking behind, he knew he had but to remain there. She had been looking at him all night. He was but astonished when she turned to him and started that silly conversation. She was hesitating. She was blushing. She looked even more beautiful when she was blushing.

"Well… since you're new in town… perhaps I can show you around sometime" she said.

"That would be great" he replied gladly "where do you live?"

"Um… that is a little complicated."

"Phone number? Never mind, I bet my aunt has it somewhere!"

"Hmh" she nodded vigorously, then looked at the door and then chirped "It was nice meeting you, Inuyasha" flashing a smile before turning around and departing along with her family. Inuyasha could just stare after her dazzled and puzzled by that warm feeling he felt in his chest.

'Gentlemen, prepare your dingoes, the hunt is about to begin', thought Inuyasha as he looked at the retreating figure of Kagome.

~*~*~

The girl opened the packet and wrinkled her nose. The foul odor of the poisonous patches almost making her forget about what she was going to do and go back to… where?

Why was she doing this? Because it hurt. Life hurt. Life hurt too much. Living her life without being useful to anyone around her. Anyone but him… but he would not need her for too long, she reminded herself. He would be happy without her. He would be happier without her. If she stayed… if she stayed he would sooner or later see her for what she was: a disgrace. A burden. A nobody. He would leave. He would despise her. If she left now… at least he would remember her as something beautiful. At least she would take their love to a place where it would not shatter.

She had had so many opportunities of being together. Maybe in her heart she did want to be a failure? Everything other people dreamed of having, she had. She did not want to have it. She could have been given less 'blessings' and be happy, but somehow, all the blessings in the world were for her and she felt… guilty for not wanting it. Cursed for having it. She had to make up for the hopes and dreams of so many others! She had to use the opportunities although she did not wish to have them or did not deserve them. But she had failed. She had the responsibility of living the life so many others wished and deserved… but she had failed.

Two silent tears rolled down her cheeks. She had wanted to do so many things, but she would never be able to. No matter how much she painted, the cursed images of new pieces would not stop haunting her. No matter how much she tried, she would never be as responsible, mature and caring as she should be. She would never be who she wanted to be. Everyone else had grown, everyone else was in the way of being someone, being part of the society… and she was lacking behind, dreaming of adventures, magic and chances of living in a different world that would never come. Not for her. Not in this life. Curse her life! She had wanted to have his children! But if she stayed… it would not matter if she stayed because they would never have a happy ending. Happy endings didn't exist.

It was better this way, she thought as she put the patches on her arms, her hips… her abdomen. A feeling of suction almost imperceptible. She had not much time now. The venom would take her and she did not know how much time was left for her. She scribbled down several notes to the most important persons in her life. Most of them saying, "It's not your fault. It is mine, don't blame yourself for this." She wrote a long note to him.

She took her best clothes in a hurry. Put them on. Combed her hair. Put on makeup. Maybe it would make the shock of her parents less if they found her looking better. She did not wish them to find her with bluish lips, looking like a devil sick of sin. No. They would think she was asleep. An angel. The way they wanted to see her and had not been able to because of her stupidity.

She brushed her teeth. She would die clean, no matter how much the rotten patches reeked. She went to bed then. She was tired. The poison was making her tired. She was cold and hot at the same time. It felt like fever. Thick sweat drops were forming on her forehead. She felt faint. And dizzy. Most of all tired, so very tired. She stumbled to her bed. The venom was making her coordination almost impossible. Sank under the covers. She felt cold, very cold.

She thought of him. She closed her eyes. They did not need to find her eyes open, which would be too gross. She felt the need to throw up. She held on. She was not going to make them clean all her mess. She heard the pounding of her heart and wondered how long would it take for it to stop? She dared not think about it. Instead she focused in her thoughts of him. Would he ever forgive her? She had wanted so much to live with him… be with him… perhaps there was still a chance?

He would be broken hearted. She could not take it when he was broken hearted. She would do anything… he… he would be fine… but what if he wasn't? What if he never recovered? No! She didn't want him to feel hurt! She had to try! She had to live! She had to… take these damn things off of her!

She tried to move her hand. She had not enough strength. Tried again, more desperately. Her hand was numb and cold. No! She could not leave him! She would not! Tried again. And again. And again. And… she threw up. She could smell the stench of tuna. The only meal she had that day. And blood. There was blood in her stomach. She could taste it in her mouth. She tried moving her arm, but it would not obey. Slowly, she gave up. She gave in to the numbness that was spreading through her body. She had tried. For him.

'Inuyasha…'

~*~*~

The family reunion had ended at half past midnight, but of course, Kagome didn't realize this until it was a quarter to one and she had arrived home with her family and the phone was ringing. It was then that Kagome allowed herself to grumble some selected swearwords and ran madly towards the phone. It was Kouga.

Kouga and Kagome seemed to have been together since the beginning of time, and in fact it was the truth. Or mostly true, in any case. They knew each other since puberty. They had met because Kagome's friend of a friend was the cousin of a friend of Kouga's sister. All very simple. It was love at first sight, or at least, it was for Kouga. He dedicated all his time after they met trying to make her understand she was his. She would always be his.

At first, Kagome had been reluctant to all the attention he would give her ("I am not your woman!"). But then again, they became best friends: The kind of best friends who could always rely on one another, the kind of friends who knew everything about each other. The kind of friends who told everything to one another: every secret, every mischief. They were merely friends until one day; all the pampering made Kagome realize she was not going to get anything better than that.

She was growing old and had not had yet a memorable passion, a once in a lifetime, or a love at first sight. It was then that she threw out all her hopes of ever finding that recurring dream of a knight in shinny armor galloping off with her in his shinny black steed. She resigned to the "happily ever after" stories and was quite content with being with someone who cared as much as Kouga did. It was a simple plan. He would try to make her happy always (although she would never be satisfied), they would marry, have fat little baby Kougas and care deeply for each other until the end of their lives. Care. Not love. But it was good enough and simple enough. And Kagome liked simple. Simple was good, Kagome thought as she reached for the phone. The unwanted memory of those golden orbs was still burning her cheeks.

"Hello?" She said, in spite that she knew whom it would be calling at one in the morning.

"Hi, my woman!" he liked calling her that. Kouga did. 'My woman', 'My girl' he would say sometimes. "Princess" he would call her on special occasions.

"Hi… how have you been?" She said, somehow stiffer than before. Cute fluffy ears popping into her mind. Making her feel dirty. She liked another guy. No. She didn't. He was just an interesting subject of study. That was all.

"Fine. We had a long day of study, the pack and I." He replied cheerfully. Obviously ignoring Kagome's internal crisis. He was smart. He could smell trouble in a hundred yards. Kagome just knew he could sense the burning of her cheeks by now.

"Microbiology is sickening. I've hardly got time to sleep nowadays." He carried on.

"Well, that's awful. You should get more sleep! Maybe you should go to sleep at once!" Cried Kagome. In fact, she was just tired. It had been a long day and she wanted to end the conversation before Kouga could take any information from her. If they talked long enough, she knew she would eventually talk all about the white-haired guy. Not a good idea.

"It's not late here in Chiapas and I want to talk to the most beautiful woman in the world." Replied Kouga sweetly. Chiapas. That's where Kouga was. Chiapas, Mexico. He had said something about having more medical experience if he studied some months in Latin America and ran off three months ago. The coward. Leaving Kagome alone, with a promise to be faithful and talk to him every night at 10pm. Now that she remembered, she owed him an apology.

"Kouga-chan, I'm sorry for not being here at 10. I was with my parents and I-"

"Don't worry about that, princess." He said, and by then she realized he had something very important to tell her. "I would have kept on dialing your number until you'd pick up. You know I'm that stubborn" he purred.

"Is it really that important?"

"What?"

"What you are about to tell me." She said, rolling the phone cable in her finger.

"Yes. I've made a decision and I just wanted you to kno-"

"Kouga-chan?"

"Yes, Kagome-chan?" At this point Kagome froze. Everything froze. Even hell froze. There was something in his tome that said he really had something very important to tell her.

It took the poor girl some time to gather her wits before asking her boyfriend "If it is all that important… could you… could you tell me when you come back from India?" He would be back in a month, Kagome reminded herself.

"Mexico." Kouga corrected her.

"Yes. Mexico. What did I say?"

"India."

"Man, not even close."

Kouga chuckled softly. Kagome felt a pang in her stomach. Was it too wrong to like someone else? Kagome felt some sort of loyalty towards Kouga. After so much time, Kouga had been her first and only boyfriend until now. And he liked her. Scratch that, he loved her. He was really the incarnation of the perfect boyfriend. He always brought her flowers. Always wrote a little poem or two in their anniversary. Was scantly jealous (ok. Ok, he was, but he tried his best not to be, for her sake,) and never forgot any important dates. They had spent so much together. She had grown to love him. Not really a man-woman love, more of a sibling's love. But that was enough. It was simple enough.

* * *

Kouga smiled to himself, caressing the black box in his pocket. He was glad. He was always glad when he spoke to Kagome. She soothed him. But then came that horrible sound. He squirmed uncomfortably as his neighbor turned his music player on at all volume. Molotov's hit single making the walls tremble. You did not have to be a full-blooded youkai to be annoyed by the loud music…

"Yo ya estoy hasta la madre / de que me pongan sombrero / escucha entonces cuando digo / no me llames frijolero…"

"What's that?" asked Kagome at the other side of the phone.

"Be right back." Kouga grunted into the receiver before running out of his small 'apartment' which in reality resembled a room. He walked fast to the next door. Tried to open. Locked. Banged the door. No response. The door crashed into the floor.

"FERNANDO!" he roared, "I'm on the phone, coño! It's important! Turn the damn thing off!" The curly haired man slowly, very slowly nodded and walked towards the music player.

"Don't call me gringo you fucking beaner / stay on your side of the God da- click!"

"Gracias." Said Kouga before turning back to his room. He picked the phone back up. He heard her yawn. She was cute when she yawned. "Is my woman tired?" he said playfully.

"Just a little. What was that?" She sounded stiff. Again. Kouga shrugged. It was surely nothing; she would have told him if it was.

"Neighbor." He explained shortly.

"Look. I'm starting to have a headache… and it's late. Talk to you tomorrow?"

"Sure." His disappointment filtering through his voice, but Kagome didn't seem to notice.

"Ok, take care, bye!"

"Bye, I love-"

"Click! Beep beep beep beep…"

Ok. Now that was weird. Kagome just didn't hang up like that. Without saying "I love you". She never did. Usually they spent more time saying their good-byes than in anything else. Something was wrong. He diligently dialed up again.

"Yes?" Kagome. She knew it was he.

"Is there anything wrong?" he asked. Fearing. He feared the answer. The long pause that followed didn't exactly ease his nerves either.

"No." She lied. He knew now. It hurt. She never lied to him. She was lying to him now, though. "Goodbye, Kouga." She said. Double ouch! Not Kouga-chan. Not even Kouga-kun. Mere and simple 'Kouga'. That had to hurt.

"Kagome-chan?"

"Yes?"

"If anything happens… you would tell me, right?" His voice sounded now like a child scared of the darkness. Another pause.

"Of course, I love you." She said. Truthfully now. "Kouga…?"

"Yes, princess?"

Pause.

"Nothing, I will tell you tomorrow. Bye!" She chirped. Darn. She sounded cute when she chirped.

"Bye, I love you."

"Luv you too! -Click!"

Kouga hanged up. This was weird. He felt sad. And scared. He never felt sad and scared after talking to Kagome. He took the black box out of his pocket. He'd been fidgeting it the whole time. Would Kagome like a compromise like that? He shook his head. She'd love it. After all, she was his woman. A goofy smile played on his face.

* * *

Inuyasha lay wide-awake in his room. What time was it? Six in the morning now. He had not been able to sleep. He could not take away the picture of that perfect creature he had only just met away from his mind. It had been just electricity. Simple, mere, brute attraction, it was. Somehow she seemed full of live. Full of love. It would be nice to have a friend now. Not that he needed one, but it would be nice. Not to feel rejected and alone. Like always.

He had been loved before. It had all come crashing down at the end. But he understood that was the natural order of things. Good things are never meant to last. He had loved before. He had not been able to stand the feeling of loss. That was why he had traveled, really. To escape. It had been impossible to escape from love. The loss of love. Knowing she may have never loved him… 'Kikyou'… only a whisper now. Some unknown warmth was comforting him for the first in a long time. Making his loss bearable and he knew. He just knew it had to be Kagome. She had an aura of warmth and relaxation. She smelled of fresh red roses. Sweet and almost intoxicating.

He felt a pang of guilt cross throughout his body. He shouldn't be thinking of another woman. Not ever again. He had promised to love her forever… but she… she had deserted him, hadn't she? Left him to rot. To die every day without her love. She had not cared. The only love he knew. Now that he came to think of it. Kagome resembled Kikyou. Was that the reason why he felt attracted to this new girl? He had only known her for less than a day. Less than half a day, even. Somehow he knew it wasn't the looks. This girl, Kagome, was nothing like Kikyou. She had too much life in her. Too much innocence and childish mischief in her eyes. Kikyou had never had any of those.

You left me, Kikyou, you promised you wouldn't but you left me; he thought bitterly.

* * *

Far away, in another corner of the world, evil stirred…

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A/N: This is it. Please, please review! And please help me with spelling and grammar. English is not my first language and I kind of struggle to write these. I must add, my Japanese is non-existent, so I was just playing around with the little things I know. I'm not sure if I got it right, though. I hope you can help me there too.