InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ My Hatred, My Obsession ❯ A Tale of Survival ( Chapter 3 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

By: raven91

Author's Corner

There's something that I should have mentioned before…but I didn't, and I feel like it's a powerful mistake. Actually, its more like clearing something up. I thought and thought and thought about this, and I've finally come to the conclusion that I want it this way. I'm sorry if this is not what you are used to, or do not like this idea, but I don't want this story to go like my other two. Thus, I will clear up what is going on:

Sesshoumaru has both arms. Not because I am upset that he has one or obsessed with the idea of him getting it back, but because eventually, I would have had Kagome give it back to him (because having both is important to the plot of “My Hatred”). That would have been way unoriginal and boring for you guys (no offense to anybody but me! ').

Sesshoumaru was grievously wounded in his fight with Inu but did not lose his arm. He still met Rin and everything.

In the battle of Sou'nga (3rd Movie) he had both arms (in my version --).

Please please please bear with me on this! It really does have a purpose in the story! I'm sorry if I've made anyone angry…

My Hatred, My Obsession

Chapter 3 - A Tale of Survival

The pain was excruciating.

She could never have imagined such a pain. But then again…she had never imagined herself falling off a cliff. Sitting up was a chore. She put her full weight on her arms and pushed herself off the ground. When she was finally on her feet, she nearly fell back down. Her head was spinning, making the ground rock under her like some airplane that was caught in turbulence. She let out a shaky breath and steadied her body. She looked around, already knowing that she was alone, but wanting to make sure. Yelling for her friends would only give away her position to any unfriendly beasts that might occupy the area, so she gave up that idea quickly. Putting a hand to her forehead, she sighed in resignation.

“Common, Kagome…you've been in this situation before.” She looked around. “I just have to stay alive until that blockhead figures out that I'm gone…” She began to reconnoiter the area, seeking out any herbs that might help her sterilize her injuries. She found few that could really do anything more than clean the wound to keep out infection, but she supposed that it was worth a little pain as long as she lived. During her search, she had - thankfully - been able to locate her backpack. After some digging through the soaked parcel, she found what she was looking for. Thank Kami she had listened to Kaede!

She stumbled over to the river, washing out the urn she would use to grind the herbs into a usable powder. When she was satisfied, she tore open the last packet of Aloe she had with her teeth and squeezed it out into the bowl, thanking modern technology for making the plastic that saved that powder from the river water. The grinding took longer than she thought it would, and she cursed her luck when she felt the beginnings of a fever. Deciding that starting a fire was the priority, she abandoned the herbs in favor making another trip to her bag. The box of matches was soaked, but her lighter still gave off a feeble flame. She quickly gathered some sticks, piling several rocks around them in a circle, and made an effort to light them.

Pretty soon, she realized that the flame wasn't strong enough for the job. She muttered a curse and took out one of her math books, thinking that - since it was ruined from its dunking in the water - it would be useless anyway. She tore out a page that seemed to be dry and put the lighter under it, pressing the button and watching with relief as the page lit up brilliantly. She dropped it on the pile of wood and was satisfied to see that her plan was working. A breeze blew by and she shivered, suddenly realizing that her clothes were still wet. She dumped out the contents of her bag completely, seeing as it was too dark to simply blindly dig through it with her hand. Her only replacement clothing was wet, but not as cold and sopping as the outfit she wore. She quickly stripped, exchanging her underwear, bra, skirt and top for a pair of loose pants and a cotton sweater. She unfolded the towel she always kept in her bag for bathing and tried her best to dry her hair, although the towel was not the driest of things she had with her. She was glad to see that the fire had grown since night was setting in, and she didn't want to be stuck without light.

Now the problem was finding something to hang her clothes on. To her luck, there was a sturdy tree not too far from the fire. Kagome hung her clothes on a thin branch, and sighed when it bent downwards and snapped. She looked longingly at a thicker branch, but realized that it was too high for her to reach. Abandoning the idea, she went back to the fire, putting the clothes out to dry on the ground. She unrolled her sleeping bag, which had somehow - miraculously - been unharmed through her fall and used it as a sitting mat. Feeling a bit warmer and more comfortable she went back the herbs, finally mashing the leaves and powder to a satisfying paste. She rubbed it into her multiple scratches, realizing suddenly that she would have to remove the sweater to reach the more serious wounds. She was reluctant, but ended up doing it anyway, knowing that he health was at stake. The bandages she had with her had dried out while she had been busy with everything and she used them sparingly. The pain was sharp and stinging as the herbs did their work. She winced when she applied the green paste to her abdomen, where a long, shallow, gash ruptured the skin. She realized that she must have encountered some rocks during her trip on the rapids, and sent out a prayer to Kami that she was still among the living.

As the cold wind nipped at her flesh, she shuddered, but no so much from the cold as from the sinking feeling that had snuck up on her so quickly. While she had been occupied with staying alive, she had nearly forgotten how dangerous the feudal era could be at night. She had never felt so lonely. Inuyasha had always been there…she had always known that even if something happened, he would always keep her safe…but now was different. Now, there was no Inuyasha with sensitive hearing and a heightened sense of smell. Here, there was just simple, human, Kagome who could do no more than put up a weak fight against any danger that came her way.

Forcefully, she reminded herself that she had been in scrapes like this before, and that she really had nothing to fear. She had her bow arr-

“Kami - sama!” Ignoring the pain that her sharp movements were causing, she madly searched the area for her weapons. Running back to the bank, she tried to see anything in the pitch-black darkness. She fell to her knees, desperate to find at least somethingthat she could use to defend herself. She hissed when her hands encountered sharp rocks, but was too scared to stop. There! Her hand landed on something long and hard. She jerked it back and continued to search…yes! Once again, she pulled her hand back, but gave up when she could not immediately find anything else. Running back towards the light of the fire, Kagome inspected what she found. The tears were nearly inevitable…

A broken bow and half of an arrow.

In a fit of frustration, she banged her hands on the ground, tossing the arrows away, and groaning. The wind picked up, she chanced a look at the moonlit sky. Thunder rumbled in the distance. Her face fell.

“Just my luck…” She looked around. “O.K, Kagome…think fast…I need a teepee or something. Kami, how I wish I had my tent kit now!” She replaced her sweater and put all the items she had previously scattered back into her bag. Her uniform wasn't completely dry so she left it out, but she put up everything except for it and her sleeping bag, which she decided she could use as a tent since it was waterproof on the outside. She stood up, kicking off her shoes and socks to let them dry as well and set out to find a suitable stick to prop up her pathetic excuse for a shelter.

Finding a stick that was long and thick was hard, especially if one was looking for it in complete darkness. By the time she found one, she could feel the raindrops falling on her nose, and was tempted to stomp her foot in anger. Why her? Why did everything bad always happened to her? She put aside all thoughts of self-pity for later when the drops fell harder and quickly dashed back to her camp. Thinking fast, she grabbed a few large and dry leaves on her way, hoping that she could use them to keep her sleeping place dry. Digging the stick into the ground, she hurriedly hung the bag over it and tossed her backpack under the “tent”. She grabbed the towel and her uniform and got under it herself, spreading out the leaves and laying out the towel over them. She shivered from the cold, hoping beyond hope that the rain would not get much worse.

As the night wore on, the fire slowly went out and Kagome had to think of nonsense to keep her fear away. She thought in surprise that she never realized how big her sleeping bag was. But even with its size, it could not keep out all of the rain. By the time the fire went out, Kagome was once again soaked to the bone and she shivered miserably. Her predicament reminded her a bit of all those survival books she had read while in school. She used to think that it would be a lot of fun to be in the place of those characters, but as she felt her fever getting worse, she understood how wrong she was. Most things in those books had worked out…if the character built a shelter, then the shelter kept out the water. If the person needed a weapon, he usually found one, and certainly, if a person was in need of resources, he could always locate them!

But Kagome had to remind herself that she wasn't living in a book, but in real life. A life that was full of traps like this just waiting for her to come along so that they could snatch her up and hurt her…like hehad hurt her…stupid youkai…what had she ever done to him anyways? Why had he hurt her? Only because she saw something by accident, didn't mean he had to kill her…it wasn't like she was a blabbermouth…youkai…silver hair…bright glowing eyes…red outfit…white robes…so similar…yet so different…claws…claws digging into her, hurting her, killing her. She was crying! Why wasn't he stopping? Couldn't he see that he was hurting her? Stop it, Inuyasha! Stop it! But it wasn't Inuyasha! It was Sesshoumaru! He was trying to kill her…not his brother…but weren't Inuyasha's actions just as painful?

He was with Kikyo…they were kissing. He looked right at her! Go away, Kagome…can't you see I'm with who I really want to be with? But don't you need me Inuyasha? I thought you cared about me…even just a little…I thought we were friends… friends? Of course we're friends, Kagome! I care about you!He's hugging me! I'm so happy! He was throwing her aside! Kikyo! You're all I want! Inuyasha? Kagome! I'll always protect you, Kagome…but Kikyo…she's…Don't explain Inuyasha! I don't want to do this any more! I'm tired of it! I'm sorry, Kagome…his sad face…he feels bad…he doesn't mean to…but his apologies can't make me feel better…I know that he can't ever give up on her…Kagome…I'm sorry…It's alright, Inuyasha…No! It's not! I'll never leave you againAgain, he's hugging me…he's throwing me aside! The jewel! He took it! Inuyasha? That's all I wanted all this time! I never wanted you here! He was chocking her, his claws were burning her! It was so hot! She could barely breathe! Oh Kami help me!

(…………………..)< /div>

He had a feeling that she would not live through the night. But strangely, he could not say that he didn't care. As he watched her writhing in her feverish pain, he felt tempted to sympathize with her. She had done well for a human. There were many that could not have done half of what she had done in such a short amount of time. He had watched her from the moment of her awakening. She was a quick thinker: intelligent and efficient. He respected that, but since she was a human, he could not give her such an honor so easily. At first, he simply wanted - out of curiosity - to see what she would do when she found herself alone. He guessed that she would have called for help, or perhaps cried as her species was prone to do. But she had done neither.

It was her quiet determination that struck a cord in him so powerful that he hadn't left despite knowing that he should. He watched carefully as she continued through several attempts at making a fire, hanging her clothing, drying her materials, and even making a shelter. When she had undressed though, it had nearly been his undoing. He already harbored an abnormal quantity of lust for her, but seeing her bare he nearly left simply to avoid acting on his desires. But at one point, he could have sworn that she looked right at him. Her eyes were fearful, as if she sensed that he was watching her. But they were devoid of recognition, so he assumed that she was simply fearful out of natural instinct, like a small mouse that could sense danger and feared its own shadow. Everything had looked to be looking up for her until the rain came.

Even through this problem, she found a way to at least attempt a solution. He watched her build her shelter and huddle under it. He had known that it would be a failed endeavor as soon as she began, but it amused him to see that she knew it too. Yet still, she didn't prostrate herself before fate or give in to misery. She followed through with whatever she could do to stay alive. Unstoppable…that seemed right to describe her at that moment.

The rain pounded harder as the night deepened, but the barrier around him prevented him from getting wet. He stood still, immobile, continuing to watch the haphazard shelter for any movement. The wind picked up, and he smelled illness. He didn't know why - he never would - but he felt compelled to see for himself what was going on. His suspicions were confirmed. He came to see her nearly naked, writhing on the ground in her fever. Her breathing was harsh and labored, and her face was contorted into a mask of pain. His mind went once again back to that night when she had fought him for her life. She had been livid with anger and tinged with fear. He remembered when she had dared to shoot at him, when she had refused to give him Tetusaiga, and when she had had the audacity to scream for him join with his brother in the battle for Sou'nga. All those times, she had radiated strength and will. Even if she was in danger, he was used to seeing her stubborn desire to live shining in her eyes. But the woman that was before him now was a stranger. She didn't look strong, fiery, or impassioned…she looked weak and helpless. Even if he had known that her powers and strength were no match for higher youkai, she had never radiated such helplessness before. She tossed and turned, whimpering in pain and breathing as if she would never get enough air. Tears were running down her cheeks, her hair was wet and plastered to her forehead from sweat and the rain and she was shuddering as though she was cold even though her body temperature was obviously above normal. Her lips were moving as if they were forming words, but none of her speech made any sense. Her hands were clenched in small fists, clutching handfuls of the towel she rested on.

The entire image had an unexplainable effect on him. He could not fathom the depths of it, and didn't even try. It would have been useless for a creature that knew nothing in the field of sentiments to try to understand them. He only knew that seeing this woman in such a state caused him great displeasure, and he was not one to leave himself unsatisfied in anything. He decided that he would allow himself this waste of time just once, since not wasting it would be displeasing. He pushed the soaked material off the post that held it up and leaned down, extending his barrier to shield the woman from the driving rain. In the confines of it, the sounds of her pain grew in volume and he wanted to flinch away from the annoying noise. He refrained, choosing instead to approach the task of waking her. He was loath to touch her at first. All humans were dirty and bathing was not a habit of theirs, but when he smelled under the pungent odor of her illness, the medicinal herbs, and blood, he could tell that she was clean. With this in mind, he put his hand on her shoulder and shook her none too gently for he did not want to take care of her needs with his own hands.

“Stop…please…” the words were so quiet that he thought he imagined them. He continued to shake her.

“Woman…you will wake.” She did not, and - ridiculous as it was - it angered him that she did not obey. “Woman…”

“Inuyasha…” He growled, jerking his hand back as if he had been burned. She was dreaming of his brother! But of course she was! She was his woman, wasn't she? And why the hell was he brooding over it? He contemplated slapping her, but decided that doing so would be primitive and uncultured. It was something his brother would do, and if that was the case, then he wanted nothing to do with it. He narrowed his eyes at her.

“Woman. If you do not awaken, then This Sesshoumaru relieves himself of all will towards your aide.” Still, she slept. Damn her! He stood, fully prepared to forget about her, but a small and distressed sound from her sent him back into a kneeling position. His heart felt heavy and sluggish and he blamed it all on the atrocious weather. She moaned raggedly and this time, he threw all morals aside. He put his hand on her forehead and felt her fever. It was very serious…more so than he had thought at first. He knew she needed to get warm instead of rolling around on the soaked forest floor, but he had nothing that he could use to cover her. He, being a youkai, had never had use for such things since the weather did not affect him as it did humans.

“Sesshoumaru…” His eyes widened. He couldn't help it. That was the last thing he had expected for her to say. And the way she had said it…the way his name rolled off her lips…had been almost…sensual. Was she dreaming of him? “Please, Sesshoumaru…” His heart lurched. To think that she could be… “Please stop…it hurts…” His quickly growing bubble of vanity popped. So…she was remembering that night as he was. He still wished that he had killed her, for she had seen something that no one was ever meant to see. Perhaps that is what made him stay here. Perhaps his earlier suspicions about a bond were true. Had she cast some sort of spell on him? He threw that thought aside quickly. She was a miko, but he could sense that she was untrained. If she could cast a bonding spell, then she could certainly have shielded herself from nature.

But the problem remained. He had to do something with her, or she would burn out. He groaned in frustration, running his hand through his bangs. The bitch was too much trouble. The rain lessened up and the darkness eased and thinned. The sun was coming up. She whimpered again, and that decided everything. He reached under her and felt that the cloth beneath her was saturated thoroughly with water. Reaching under his fur, he unclasped his armor, letting it fall to the ground. He shed his haori and leaned forward, grasping one of her arms and pushing it through a sleeve. He did the same to her other arm and wrapped the rest of the material around her body. It wasn't any trouble. The girl was already small, not to mention she was very thin. He pulled her into his arms and stood.

When the sun graced the earth with its majestic presence, it lit up a river bank where the Lord of the Western Lands held in his arms a human wrapped in his clothing. Anyone looking at the seemingly impossible scene would have thought that the youkai did not care for her, for his face looked as if it was made of stone. But to those who knew him better would have seen the tenderness with which his hands held her, and the nearly halcyon sunlit pools that were his eyes.